A/N: Poor JJ :(

Nervous energy seemed to flow through her body as she paced along the hallway outside JJ's room. It was still dark outside, the sunrise just a couple of short hours away, but while she hadn't slept at all, Sandy was far too anxious to even attempt to sleep.

After being treated in the emergency department, JJ had been admitted to the psych ward under a 72 hour hold. Will had gone back to the house after being discharged, while Sandy had taken to nervously pacing the halls.

She couldn't fathom what would have happened if Will hadn't been there... if he hadn't been able to get into the locked bathroom. Even as the thought passed through her mind, her stomach rolled, making her slow to a stop and reach out with her hand to steady herself against the wall. She forced herself to breathe, the shock of the last twelve hours making her feel as though the walls around her were starting to close in.

Her mind flicked to her son. It was early in Miami, but she knew Jason would be up. And she knew she needed to talk to him... if word of what had happened to JJ somehow made its way to the media, she didn't want him finding out like that.

Heaving a sigh, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. Muscle memory kicked in as she opened up the keypad and dialled her son's number. Emotionally spent, she leaned back against the wall as it rang, slowly sliding down until she was sitting on the floor.

"Mom?"

"Hey Jason," Sandy breathed, her resolve suddenly wavering as she heard her son's voice.

"Mom, it's like... five in the morning. What's going on? Why are you up?"

"I-," Sandy started, her voice catching in her throat. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and forcing herself to say it... to vocalise it. "I'm at the hospital... with JJ, she... god"

"What? Is she alright?"

Tears started to well up in Sandy's eyes. Swallowing hard, she forced herself to speak her next sentence, even though she could barely get it above a whisper. "She tried to... tried to kill herself"

"What?!" Jason gasped, the shock clear even from the other end of the phone. "What the fuck?"

"She's ok, she... Will was there, he got to her before she did any major harm, but... god, Jason, there was blood everywhere, it was like... like when-"

"Don't go there, Mom, it's not the same," Jason said quickly. "JJ's not... fucking hell, I... are you ok?"

At his question, Sandy's wall broke, the tears starting to flood down her cheeks. "I don't know if I can do this, Jason... she needs me, and I promised her I would be there, but... I can't… I can't be in the house alone with her," she sobbed, her shaking hand coming up to her face as she spoke. "I'm so scared of what I might find behind a closed door"

"You won't be alone. Katie and I are coming up"

"You can't do that, you both have jobs… the dogs-"

"You and JJ need us… that's more important, ok? I'm gonna need a couple of days for us to sort work and get the dogs taken care of, but we'll be there and we'll stay as long as you both need us"

Biting her lip, Sandy nodded, her phone pressed tightly to her ear as if it could convey to her son how much she wanted to hug him. "Ok… ok… I… she's been admitted for at least the next 72 hours, so… I'll keep you updated if that changes"

"Ok… I love you, Mom. It's gonna be ok. We're gonna get her through this"

"I love you too, Jason," Sandy said tearfully. "So much"

Will's head was pounding, the cut on his temple aching beneath the bandage as he made his way slowly down the halls towards JJ's room. On the outside, he looked calm, if not a little tired and anxious, but on the inside, he had never felt more conflicted in his life.

As he rounded the corner into JJ's room, he stopped in the doorway, freezing for a moment as his eyes fell on her motionless form. She was curled up on her side, facing away from the door, with the blind on the window pulled down to keep the room dark.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way into the room, the sound of his shoes against the linoleum alerting JJ to his presence. She turned her head, looking over her shoulder as he came to sit in the chair beside her bed.

"Hey," she said softly, slowly pulling herself up so she could see him properly. He didn't respond, seemingly running through his options as he sat before her. She waited patiently, wanting him to speak first; this was the first time he had willingly spoken to her since they had come home from Los Angeles nearly two months earlier.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" he asked suddenly, his voice weak even as he tried to convey the anger he was feeling deep in his gut. JJ stared at him, wracking her brain for the words that could possibly explain how she was feeling, but just moments later, she was thrown completely for a loop when Will suddenly broke down in tears, his head dropping to his hands.

"JJ, this isn't fair," he sobbed, his voice muffled beneath his hands. "I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry about that, but fuck, you're not the only person who is. You've been so selfish this whole time, completely focused on your own pain." Lifting his head, he rose to his feet, tears still streaming down his face as he walked to the end of the bed and leant heavily against the foot rail. "All I have done since you found out your dad was sick was try to help you. And no matter what I did, you just pushed me away. Everything I've done was to support you. Do you think I was ready to live on my own when my parents moved back to New Orleans? No... but I sucked it up and did it because I loved you and I didn't want to add long distance to our relationship-"

JJ sniffed, her eyes burning with tears as she listened to his heartbroken words. She couldn't bring herself to look up and look him in the eyes. She knew all she would find there was pain.

"I gave up so much to be by your side, and you threw it all back in my face by cheating on me with some stranger in a club and blaming it on grief," he spat angrily, his eyes rimmed with red, the tears continuing to flood down his cheeks, pale with sleep deprivation. "But you know what, JJ, your mom is grieving, your brother is grieving, and while Michael wasn't my dad, I'm grieving too. You're not the only one who's hurting, but you can't seem to understand that. And then not only that, you decided that the best way to deal with it all was to fucking take your own life? Don't you remember how painful that shit was when Ros did it?"

"I didn't want-"

"Then what the hell was that last night?" Will sobbed, casting a hand out wildly as he stared at her through tears. "Did you take even a second to consider anyone other than yourself?"

JJ avoided his gaze, tears dripping from her cheeks onto the white hospital blanket.

"I just... this is not the girl I fell in love with," Will choked out. "I don't even know who you are anymore. I know you're hurting, I know, but right now, you're killing me too"

She stifled a sob, lifting her face only to catch a glimpse of his back as he stormed out of the room. The ache in her chest seemed to intensify, threatening to crack her in two as she lay back down and curled on her side. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly, the tears flooding down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and wished for the momentary escape of sleep.

"JJ, I wanted to have a chat to you and your mom about the evaluation I did with you this morning"

Raw, and yet numb, JJ stared tiredly at the doctor who had pulled up a stool near the end of her bed. Her mom was sitting in the armchair beside her, the same chair Will had vacated so angrily earlier that day.

"I asked you a lot of questions, such as whether you have distressing memories of the event that is the trigger for your grief, do you remember that?"

JJ nodded, her eyes cast down to the white bedspread over her legs. It was almost too white... too clinical, too perfect. Particularly for someone in such a state like hers.

"That was actually a test called the PCL-5, and it's used as an indicator for post traumatic stress disorder," the doctor said gently. "It's scored out of 85, and generally a mark around or above 33 is a confident indicator that the person being scored is suffering from PTSD"

"But... I was told I have complex grief," JJ said hoarsely.

"Yes... and that may still be the case... but JJ, you scored 57 on the PCL test"

Sandy's eyes widened, looking between her daughter and the doctor. "JJ... has PTSD?"

The doctor nodded slowly. "I can say quite confidently that... yes, JJ, you seem to be showing many of the signs of post traumatic stress from your father's illness and death, and that may be a massive contributor to your current struggles with your mental health"

JJ swallowed hard, avoiding looking at anyone as she processed what was being said. PTSD... was she ever going to stand a chance at a normal life?

"It is treatable," the doctor said. "You'll need to stick to a routine of talk therapy, and if the depression component of your health doesn't improve, you can be prescribed medication to help alleviate some of the symptoms"

The doctor continued talking, but her words turned into a monotonous buzz in JJ's head. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he eventually got up and left the room, leaving JJ and her mom alone again. And then her mom was sliding up to sit beside her, her arms wrapping around her thin shoulders and pulling her close to her.

"It's just another thing wrong with me," JJ whispered.

"No," Sandy replied softly. "It's just one extra hurdle on your great big race"