A/N: Fighting writer's block, but here's another one for you!

Grimacing as her eyes opened, JJ felt her stomach roll dangerously as the light invaded her eyes. She squeezed them shut, laying as still as she could to try and get her body to cooperate with her. Taking a slow breath, she opened her eyes a little slower, allowing them to adjust to the light in the room.

Her head was pounding and her eyes were so swollen she could hardly see. She didn't remember coming home. In fact, she didn't even remember leaving the club. Yet here she was, changed out of the clothes she had gone out in, curled up beside the toilet on her bathroom floor. She wanted to call out for her mom, but she felt like she would be sick if she did. Instead, she closed her eyes again, taking deep breaths to try and quell the nausea that was rolling horribly around in her stomach.

"Mom?" she called out softly, her voice so hoarse it barely sounded like her. She swallowed hard as she finished speaking, willing her stomach contents to stay put.

"I'm here JJ," came Sandy's soothing voice. Moments later, she appeared in the doorway, slowly crossing the tiled space and lowering herself down to sit beside JJ on the floor.

And just like that, JJ cracked. The sobs came through in full force, making her eyes sting and her head ache. But she couldn't stop them. They were demanding to be felt.

"Don't cry, Jayje, don't cry, you're going to make yourself sick," Sandy said sadly, leaning over and wrapping JJ in her arms as best as she could.

"I can't do this anymore," JJ sobbed. "I can't do it Mom, and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I just can't"

Lost for words, Sandy clutched her youngest child. She didn't know what to say. For, for all the soothing words in the world, there was absolutely nothing she could say that would take away the pain her daughter was feeling.

But even so, she wasn't going to let it be the end of her child. She knew the signs. And as much as JJ felt like she couldn't go on, right now, she was asking for help.

And Sandy was going to get it for her.

"I love you," she said softly, her own tears tracking down into JJ's hair as she held on. "I love you so much, and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to help you. This does not have to be it for you. I'm here, right now, always, and you can always lean on me because I'm your mom and I love you and that's what I'm supposed to do"

She pulled back so she could see JJ's face, her heart breaking even further as she took in her distraught expression.

"You're telling me you need help and I'm going to get it, whatever you need. Because I love you and I'm proud of you," she breathed. "We're going to get you through this"

"Your mom told me this morning that you went out partying last night," Rachel said gently.

JJ was sitting on the couch opposite her, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her head was still pounding, and all she wanted was to go to bed, but her mom had insisted that she go to the open appointment Dr Hernandez had that afternoon. So, she had sucked it up and gotten in the car, grateful at least that her brother had offered to drive her.

"What happened while you were out?"

JJ grimaced, pressing her fist to her brow bone. "I don't… I'm not too sure… I don't really remember"

"Start at the beginning. Why did you decide to go out?"

"My friend showed up unexpectedly," JJ mumbled. "She wanted to go out and… she didn't know about all the shit that's been happening… I didn't want to tell her, so I just agreed to go with her"

"Why haven't you told your friend about what's happening?" Rachel asked.

"We're not… we're not really as close as we used to be"

"What happened when you were out?"

"I… I lost Lani after a while… I think she was just fed up of me being so sad, and she went off with some guy, and… I was at the bar. I just started drinking, and then… this guy came up to me and started talking to me. We ended up in the bathroom and… it's kinda fuzzy, but I remember making out with him… and then I was comparing him to Will, and then next thing I knew, I had a… I don't know, a flashback… to that night in Los Angeles"

Rachel studied her for a moment, her eyes kind and inviting as she watched JJ playing with the cuffs of her sleeves. "How did that make you feel?"

"I felt like I was cheating on Will all over again," JJ said, her voice shaking. "I pushed this guy away and he got really pissed off, asking me if I was underage or a virgin, and when I asked him to stop, he just left me there"

"Did that upset you?"

"I guess so," JJ sniffed. "I just… I wanted to have sex, I wanted to feel… normal"

"Why don't you feel normal?" Rachel queried gently.

"Because I'm a fucking mess!" JJ exclaimed, bursting into tears. "I've got PTSD, not because I was in a warzone protecting my country, but because my dad was sick, how stupid is that? And then I can't even process grief normally, I tried to kill myself, I've driven Will to the other end of the country… I'm sitting here on a Monday afternoon with the hangover from hell because I got blackout drunk and had to be nursed all night by my mom! I just… this isn't how I'm supposed to be"

Rachel frowned, reaching out and offering JJ a tissue. "What do you mean this isn't how you're supposed to be?"

JJ choked back another sob, wiping furiously at the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm a champion. For years, I've been told that champions are strong, champions don't show weakness, and where I am right now would not get me on any teams or any podiums"

Rachel took a deep breath. "JJ, USA Gymnastics is not the same as life. You've been worked to the grindstone for years to achieve the goals you've achieved, but that doesn't mean you're any less of a champion if you break down and let yourself be vulnerable every now and then. If anything, it just makes you a stronger person for being able to admit that you're not ok"

"But I've driven away everyone who cared about me," JJ said tearfully. "Will can't even bear to be in the same fucking state as me"

"Look at who's around you," Rachel said softly. "Your mom cares so deeply about you. Your brother dropped everything and flew from Miami to be here. There's people everywhere who care about you JJ… maybe it's time to actually let yourself see that"

Slumped against the window, JJ had her eyes closed as they drove down the highway towards home. Jason was humming along with the radio, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel, while JJ tried not to think too hard about how much her life had changed.

A little over a year ago, they had found out her dad was dying. And in that time, she had made another Olympic team, won more medals, gotten engaged, been on a whirlwind of media, watched as her mom and brother battled on through their lives… and now she was here. Depressed, grieving, single, with two therapists and more issues than she ever thought it was possible for one person to have. She was still hungover as hell, and all she wanted was to crawl back into bed.

The iced coffee she had forced down before therapy was sloshing uncomfortably in her stomach as she tried to carry her mind towards something more calming, but just a few moments later, she knew it was futile.

"Jason, I'm gonna be sick," she choked out, leaning back against the seat and swallowing hard as she tried to keep it together.

"Ok, two seconds," Jason said quickly, glancing over his shoulder and indicating over onto the shoulder. Just as he came to a stop, JJ opened the passenger door, leaning over and heaving the contents of her stomach all over the asphalt. Coffee and bile splattered over the ground, but she barely even grimaced, wiping her mouth on her sleeve as she propped her feet on the rim of the door and rested her arms on her knees. Dropping her face down, she forced herself to take deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart.

"You ok?" Jason asked softly from behind her.

"Yeah, I just need a minute," she mumbled, realising her hands were shaking as she spoke. "Sorry"

"It's alright," Jason said. "Take all the time you need"

A few minutes passed, JJ fighting to steady her breathing as she slowly shifted around until she was sitting in the seat again, her eyes fixed beyond the windscreen in front of her.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice so quiet it sounded broken. "You and Katie don't have to deal with this… you've got a normal, happy life down in Florida, why are you here in sad, miserable Pennsylvania?"

"Because my family needs me," Jason replied softly. "We lost Dad… Mom lost the love of her life… and my baby sister is hurting so badly that it hurts me too"

JJ's eyes welled with tears. "You didn't have to put your whole life on hold"

"But that's what you do, because family comes first. JJ… I know we don't talk as much since we live in different states and we have our own shit going on, but fuck, I'd go to jail to protect you, you know that right?"

JJ sniffed, wiping her nose with the cuff of her sleeve as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I know right now, you feel like a burden. Like everyone's dropping everything to help you and we shouldn't, but that's not true, JJ. Mom would throw herself on a grenade for you, and…," Jason trailed off, his eyes growing bright. "JJ, the morning Mom called to tell me what had happened, I was shocked. At first I was like shit, there's no way this is real, and then… as I was getting dressed, I just started crying. Hysterically sobbing my eyes out until Katie woke up and came to see what was wrong." He reached over, squeezing her hand and swallowing hard against the tears. "You're my sister, and you're hurting like hell, and it hurts me to know how badly you're in pain. Katie and I came down because we knew you and mom needed us, and we'll stay here until things get better. I don't care if it takes weeks, months, even if it takes a year… we're gonna be here for you and we're all gonna get through this shit together… because we didn't do that after Roz died, and it nearly tore this family apart"

The ache in JJ's chest seemed to intensify, but as she turned to look at her brother, she found herself managing a smile.

"I love you kid," Jason said sweetly. "You know that, right?"

JJ nodded, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her free hand. "I know. I love you too"