A/N: This one is packed with drama.
"Hey Jayje, did you pack away my uniforms?"
Looking up from her laptop as she finished marking off another item in her list, JJ frowned. "No, I'm pretty sure I left them in the top drawer"
Sighing in exasperation, Will turned and left the room, leaving JJ alone with the lists once more. Life was moving at such a fast pace that they could hardly believe it was already January of 2018. Christmas had passed in a very low key affair, with Jason and Katie joining them from Florida to celebrate the day amidst a flurry of snow. But they had all had something to celebrate; in early December, JJ and Will had put in an offer on a house that they had seen and fallen in love with. It was a beautiful 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in Penn Hills, just 20 minutes from the city center. It was an older house, with bay windows, and vines creeping up the sides, but the interior had recently been renovated, meaning it was basically ready to be lived in. The week before Christmas, on the last day before the realtor would close over Christmas, they had received the call; the offer had been accepted. They would be ringing in the new year as homeowners. And so the already busy schedule of wedding planning, cadet training, and post-moonboot rehab had had to expand to include packing, furniture shopping, and much more in preparation for the big move at the end of January.
As she scrolled down the list on her laptop to see where they were at, her phone buzzed beside her on the countertop with a text. Picking it up, she smiled when she saw Aly's name at the top.
Hey… just letting you know that you should probably go and have a look at what Simone just posted on Twitter. Otherwise you're going to find out through other channels, and I know how much it already sucks as it is.
Frowning, JJ navigated to Twitter, where she was greeted straight off the bat with Simone's tweet, having been retweeted by someone else she was following. It was nothing but a screenshot of a page of text, and as soon as she saw it, her stomach began to sink.
Most of you know me as a happy, giggly, and energetic girl. But lately… I've felt a bit broken and the more I try to shut off the voice in my head the louder it screams. I am not afraid to tell my story anymore.
I too am one of the many survivors that was sexually abused by Larry Nassar. Please believe me when I say it was a lot harder to first speak those words out loud than it is now to put them on paper. There are many reasons that I have been reluctant to share my story, but I know now it is not my fault.
It is not normal to receive any type of treatment from a trusted team physician and refer to it horrifyingly as the "special" treatment. This behaviour is completely unacceptable, disgusting, and abusive, especially coming from someone whom I was TOLD to trust.
For too long I've asked myself, "Was I too naive? Was it my fault?" I now know the answer to those questions. No. No, it was not my fault. No, I will not and should not carry the guilt that belongs to Larry Nassar, USAG, and others.
It is impossibly difficult to relive these experiences and it breaks my heart even more to think that as I work towards my dream of competing in Tokyo 2020, I will have to continually return to the same training facility where I was abused.
After hearing the brave stories of my friends and other survivors, I know that this horrific experience does not define me. I am much more than this. I am unique, smart, talented, motivated, and passionate. I have promised myself that my story will be much greater than this and I promise all of you that I will never give up. I will compete with all of my heart and soul every time I step into the gym. I love this sport too much and I have never been a quitter. I won't let one man, and the others that enabled him, to steal my love and joy.
We need to know why this was able to take place for so long and to so many of us. We need to make sure something like this never happens again.
As I continue to work through the pain, I kindly ask everyone to respect my privacy. This is a process, and one that I need more time to work through.
XO, Simone Biles
By the time she reached the bottom, her eyes were welling with tears. At this stage, she knew she had to expect the worst, expect that every girl she knew was going to come forward… but somehow, in her mind, she had not expected it to be Simone. Simone was always so bright, so bubbly, and JJ had never seen her falter, not once. Never had she heard the young girl express concern over Nassar, not like she had heard from Aly over their years of training.
"Jayje, I seriously can't find-what's wrong?" Will said as he came back into the room, stopping in his tracks when he saw JJ's face.
"Simone," JJ choked out, putting her phone back down on the table. "She… she's come forward. He abused her too"
Will's face fell, and without a word, he stepped forward, wrapping JJ into a tight hug and kissing the top of her head. She buried her face in his t-shirt, closing her eyes and blinking away the tears that were there. She wanted to cry… she wanted to scream as the true horror of how deep this was going to run started to hit her… but she found she couldn't. She was numb… exhausted… completely drained to the point where she just didn't know how to react anymore.
"This is just going to keep getting worse," she mumbled, pulling back and lifting her chin so she could see Will's face. "And I honestly don't know if I can take it. Which sounds… so selfish, because I wasn't even the one involved, but… it's sad just the same"
"You're sittin' here havin' to watch as your friends, your teammates, come forward as victims of child sexual abuse, Jayje… I don't blame you for feelin' like that. I don't think I'd be able to take it either," Will said gently.
"Can we… can we just focus on what we have to do? I need to stay busy," JJ replied. Will nodded, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"Of course we can. But please say somethin' if it gets too much, ok? If you want to talk, just say the word"
Nodding, JJ leaned in for another hug, seeking just an ounce of comfort to help her power through the rest of the day.
Just a week later, JJ was halfway down the snack aisle in the supermarket when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Absently pulling it from her jeans as she perused the packets of cookies in front of her, she opened it with a tap of her thumb.
Her eyes drifted down to the screen, but didn't immediately register what was in front of her. Until her eyes locked on to Simone's name, making her realise what must have set off her phone. It was a tweet, one that Simone had said in response to someone else. Right as she started to read it, a text message rolled through from Aly, all in caps.
DON'T LOOK AT SIMONE'S TWITTER, I'VE JUST TEXTED HER TO TAKE IT DOWN!
But curiosity had already piqued her interest, and she was already reading it.
alyshaaa92: hey simone_biles, what's the go with the Final Five? Laurie and Maddie and JJ are all very quiet about this Nassar situation!
simone_biles: I know, it's a little frustrating. I mean, we all went through this together, you'd think they'd have spoken up by now. I really thought JJ would speak up when Aly did!
For a moment, all she could do was stare at the response in confusion. Had Simone… lost it? What did she actually mean? She hadn't even spoken to her since she had come forward… why was Simone making assumptions?
A quick scroll through the replies told her that whatever Simone had intended with her words, only one meaning had been conveyed at all.
nishaz_: omg, not JJ as well! As if she hasn't had enough happen in her life!
rufolva2020: um, you mean to tell me that piece of shit abused an entire Olympic team? Omgggg. The three literal golden hearts on the team, I just want to hug them.
careysss: what the fuck
Before she'd even fully registered what had happened, her fingers were flying over the keyboard, typing out a reply even as more responses to Simone rolled in.
jj_jareau94: Thanks Simone, this is awkward AF, but I want to clarify that I was NOT abused by Larry Nassar. I feel awful for every single girl that was victimized by him, but I am not one of them.
In utter disbelief, she lowered her phone, taking deep breaths as she looked around the aisle she was standing in. Snacks forgotten, she slowly pushed her cart to the end of the aisle, back towards the front of the store. Her phone buzzed again. She immediately reopened it, her eyes falling back to the blue Twitter theme.
simone_biles: maybe not the way you classify it anyway. I guess it's not really abuse if you wanted it.
Immediate rage seemed to bubble in her chest as she stared at the words on her screen. How… one of her best friends… how the hell did she even… why was she saying this?
As she looked up, she caught the eye of a curious passerby, and it suddenly compounded how scrutinised she was feeling. Surely every person in this grocery store was watching her, everyone had a phone, an internet connection these days, surely everyone now falsely believed she too had been molested by Nassar.
She had to defend herself. It was the only way to resolve this. She would type out her defense, and when she got home, she would call Simone and find out what the fuck was going on.
jj_jareau94: Excuse me? I'm sorry that you went through that Simone, but I have enough shit going on in my life without you trying to lump this on me as well.
Panic rose in her throat, and she knew she had to leave. Abandoning her cart, she raced for the door, barrelling out into the parking lot and taking great gulps of fresh air.
Another buzz pulled her attention, followed in quick succession by a fourth. She almost dreaded what she was going to find when she opened the notifications, but some part of her knew she had to know what was being said.
The first was a retweet, something Simone had seen on her timeline and decided to share with her millions of followers.
"emily_jade: let's be fair, would anyone be surprised if JJ willingly went with Larry? Apparently getting fingered by dudes that aren't her fiance is her kink"
Her hands were shaking with anger. This was spiralling. Whatever Simone's game was, it seemed to be playing right into her hands.
And then the cherry on top landed right before her eyes.
simone_biles: yeah, we know, your life is 'hard'. You wanna see hard sister. At least I don't take up a coke habit to deal with my problems
She felt like she was going to explode as she furiously shoved her phone in her pocket and stormed over to her car. Her hands were shaking so badly she could hardly start the ignition, but eventually, she managed. It was everything she had in her to remind herself to breathe so she didn't crash the car, and the short five minute ride back to her house seemed to take an eternity. Her phone continued to buzz in her pocket the entire way, and by the time she was walking up to her front door, she wanted to throw the damn thing at the wall.
"You're back soon! Where's the groc- wait, what's happened?" was Will's immediate greeting, having looked up in surprise to see JJ home as he passed through the foyer on his way upstairs.
"Simone," JJ choked out through seething rage, thrusting her phone at Will who stared at her for a moment before tentatively taking it from her hand. He watched her for a moment, taking in her stark white face set against clenched teeth and shaking hands, before lowering his eyes to the screen. She watched him, her hands clenched by her sides as her chest heaved, watching as his eyes darkened and his jaw became set.
"What the-"
"FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK?!" JJ screamed, the rage suddenly reaching critical levels inside her as Will leapt back. "WHAT IS HER FUCKING PROBLEM!?"
"I don't know, JJ, I think we should call her-"
"SHE CAN CALL ME, SHE'S THE ONE WHO SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FACT THAT I WASN'T FUCKING MOLESTED BY THAT CRAWLER!"
"JJ-"
"SHE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AT ME FOR THIS!" JJ yelled, reaching out to take her phone back from Will's hand and hardly noticing when he swung it out of her reach. "HOW DARE SHE SUGGEST I EVEN WANTED TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, WHAT THE FUCK!"
"JJ, you need to breathe-"
"GIVE ME MY PHONE!" JJ exclaimed, her face contorted with such rage that Will felt a flash of fear in his heart.
"No," he said firmly, bringing it behind his back. "You'll end up doing somethin' you regret"
"WILLIAM LAMONTAGNE JUNIOR, GIVE. ME. MY. PHONE!"
"No," Will said hastily, backing into the kitchen. In a swift move, he reached up, slipping her phone up on top of the shelf above the fridge, where he knew JJ couldn't reach it.
"WILLIAM!"
"No, JJ, the last thing you need right now is to let anger take the way, you'll thank me later!"
The sound of the front door opening sent a wave of relief rushing through Will.
"JJ, what on earth are you yelling and carrying on about? I could practically hear you from the end of the street!" was Sandy's exclamation as she walked into the kitchen, setting her handbag on the table. It took her a moment to take in the scene before her, but when she did, she stiffened.
"What happened?"
JJ remained in seething silence as Will quickly and quietly explained the situation. Her fists were clenched so tightly she was sure she was drawing blood, but nothing could quell the rage brewing even further inside her.
"Alright," Sandy said softly once Will had finished speaking. She looked towards her daughter, holding out a steadying hand to her as she approached her.
"JJ… why don't we go for a drive? We can get some ice-cream and talk about this, but more importantly, you can calm down," Sandy said gently.
"I don't want to go for fucking ice-cream, I want to fly to Texas and punch Simone in the face!" JJ yelled, startling Will into taking a few steps back.
"Ok Rocky, let's take it down a few notches," Sandy said calmly. "You are absolutely allowed to be upset about this, but you can't be destructive. All that does is manifest more anger"
JJ turned away, visibly seething as she wrenched a hand through her hair.
"Why would Simone say these things about you?"
"Because she's a little bitch who's jealous because her parents didn't want her!"
Will's jaw dropped at the remark. He spluttered, trying to find his words, but was silenced by Sandy giving him a pointed look before turning back to JJ, her face set in stone.
JJ huffed, throwing her hands up. "GOD, I don't MEAN that, I'm just so fucking ANGRY!"
"Ok," Sandy said firmly, holding out her hand again. "You need to calm down. I know you're angry, I know you're upset, but I'm worried you're going to make yourself sick if you don't at least breathe"
JJ threw herself into the nearest chair, refusing to make eye contact with either Will or her mother. A tense silence seemed to cover them all, before Will cleared his throat.
"Uh… JJ? You, uh… I think you might need to see this," he said quietly, hesitantly approaching her and holding out his phone. JJ snatched it from his hand, making him recoil slightly as he watched her closely for her reaction.
simone_biles: So now I'm pissed about Rio… you mean I slaved my ass off, got abused, listened to the world tell me I was going to win, only to have Little Miss Perfect come in and take gold without ever going through what I did? BULL!
There was a tense moment, where both Will and Sandy wondered what she was going to do next.
But seconds later, she crumpled, dropping Will's phone to the table as she brought her face to her hands.
"Why is she doing this?" she sobbed, the tension radiating off her in ebbing waves. "I haven't even spoken to her since she came forward, I just… what the fuck?"
For a moment, no-one moved. But then, slowly, Will made his way towards her, kneeling down in front of her and gently prising her hands away from her face.
"I don't know," he said softly, taking her hands in his and holding them tightly. "I don't know Jayje, because honestly, she's supposed to be one of your best friends and it's bullshit that she's treatin' you like this. But yellin', and screamin', and workin' yourself up into a state isn't goin' to fix anythin'"
JJ sniffed, her white face now highlighted by the redness of her tear filled eyes.
"Come on," Will said gently, coaxing her up out of the chair and supporting her shaking frame in his strong arms. "Let's go upstairs"
Sandy watched sadly as Will and JJ left the room, waiting until they had started up the stairs before she dropped her head to her hand and let out a heavy sigh.
Her own phone began to buzz, the screen lighting up with the name of one of her closest friends.
"Hi Lynn," she said softly as she answered the call. "Yeah, I've heard about it… we've just had the fireworks over here"
Twenty minutes later, JJ and Will were cuddled up on their bed, the room completely silent around them as they tried to process everything that was happening. JJ was wrapped entirely around him, their legs tangled together as Will held her close to him and traced gentle circles on her back.
"Is it always going to be like this?" JJ asked, breaking the silence they had been laying in. Her voice was hoarse, her eyes still wet with tears as she spoke.
"What do you mean?" Will asked softly.
"Every time I'm happy… is someone going to throw what happened in LA back in my face again?"
Will's stomach gave an unhappy lurch as he tightened his hold on his fiancee. "I don't know babe… people are cruel… they refuse to let things go," he said warmly. "But you… you are strong, and brave, and resilient and every other word under the sun… I'm not goin' to let them tear you apart"
But all JJ could do was turn her head, burying it in the curve of Will's neck as soft sobs shook her broken frame. And it broke Will's heart.
He didn't know if he would ever look at Simone the same way again. For JJ had been doing so well… the pain and heartbreak of the past was behind her. And in one fell swoop, Simone had sent her back two years in healing.