A/N: Reuploaded this chapter to fix a spacing error and an entire sentence that somehow disappeared. Lol.
She was sure the gym had never been this hot.
With three weeks to go until the US Classic, they were working harder than ever, but apparently, so was the sun. It was one of the hottest summers Pittsburgh had seen in a long time, and most of the city had retreated indoors to the relief of air conditioning while the heat baked the earth outside. Unfortunately, indoors in a gymnastics facility was not the same as indoors in her living room with the air conditioning going full blast.
Working on her beam dismount, JJ was fighting swirling clouds of chalk. In an effort to combat the sweat, there seemed to be a layer of chalk over everything in the gym, but it was a small effort against what felt like constant moisture.
Thankful for the chalk Kate had tossed across the beam just moments earlier, JJ lined up at one end of the apparatus, her hands positioned up above her head. She took a breath, taking a moment to centre herself before swinging down and leaping back into an easy flip. One flip… two flips…
As she punched off the end of the beam, her foot slipped against the suede surface, meaning she barely got a rise off the end as she soared into the air. Instinctively, she searched for the landing mat, pulling her knees in super tight to speed up her rotation. It was by a small miracle that her head just cleared the floor on the second turn before her knees slapped into the mat with a loud THWACK.
"Fuck," she groaned. As she straightened up, sitting back onto her feet, sweat dripped down her face onto the mat. She grimaced, wiping her face with the back of her equally damp hand. "Jesus Christ Nick, surely you can turn the air conditioning on?"
"It's on, I've cranked it as high as it can go!" Nick called back. "The problem, JJ, is that we are in a big metal box that's sitting in the baking sun"
"This is it," JJ said dramatically, flopping to one side and sprawling on the mat as Kate laughed. "This is how I die"
"You're making sweat angels," Kate giggled.
JJ grinned, cycling her arms and legs in and out in a snow angel fashion.
"Hey! You can clean my mats when you're done too!" Nick called as he slapped a hand on the beam he was now leaning against.
"Oh get over it Nick, every mat in this gym is basically a DNA sample at this stage," JJ shot back, earning a cheeky laugh from her coach.
"Well, considering that spectacular dismount you just did, I don't think it's super safe to continue training today, it's just too damn hot and everyone's sweating like crazy. Let's wrap it up for today, and we'll pick up tomorrow if the temperature cools off," Nick said with a sigh, pushing a damp lock of hair back from his forehead. "I'd rather you guys went to the Classic a little underprepared than not at all because I pushed you both to heat exhaustion"
"Thank god," Kate groaned. "I'm gonna go to Clem's and melt in her pool"
"How's she doing?" JJ asked as they peeled themselves off the mats.
It was a little over a year now since the day Clem had broken her neck on a tumbling run under JJ's watch. While she had kept in touch with the younger girl via social media, life had been busy for both of them, and JJ had only managed to see her in person a couple of times since the accident.
"She's good! She's walking a little now, because she's a BAMF," Kate said with a grin. "Absolutely kicking ass in rehab. Oh, and her hair is bright blue"
"Of course it is," JJ laughed, remembering when Kate had come into the gym with pink streaks after the two of them chose to mess around with hair dye.
"You know, she said the last time I was at her house that she still wants to play a sport. She's thinking of learning how to play wheelchair basketball or something," Kate chattered, falling into step between Nick and JJ as the three of them headed back towards the foyer.
"That will be great for her," Nick replied with a smile. "Something to keep her mentally and physically active"
"That's what my mom said too," Kate said.
"Are you ok to get home Kate? I need to pack a few things up and then put out a class cancellation, so if you need a ride, you'll just have to hang around for about 15 minutes"
"That's ok. Clem's place is on the way to mine, I can drop you off," JJ said with a smile.
"Thanks JJ, that would be great," Kate beamed, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
"Alright. Get going and cool off you two. I'll see you in the morning"
With the heat sweltering outside, JJ took to sprawling on the couch beneath the air-conditioning for the remainder of the afternoon. After showering off the sweat and chalk, she had pulled on a clean sports bra and a pair of cotton shorts, and made her way downstairs to the lounge room. Water bottle filled to the brim with ice and cold water, it wasn't long before she was comfortably laid out on the couch, planning to keep herself company with trashy reality TV until Will got home from work.
She was getting right into reruns of The Real Housewives of Dallas, with all the shouting, cursing, and wine throwing one could expect, when her phone rang suddenly, buzzing loudly against the glass of the coffee table. With a groan, she pulled herself up, reaching out to grab the offending piece of technology that had so rudely interrupted her decision to not move.
When she saw Lani's name on the caller ID, confusion was all she had in response. While she and Lani hadn't fallen out, they had most definitely drifted apart in the last couple of years… and an out of the blue phone call was not something JJ had been expecting at all.
Accepting the call, she hesitantly lifted the phone to her ear. "Hello?"
"Hi… sorry, I… are you busy?"
"No, I'm just… I was just watching TV," JJ replied, reaching over to grab the remote so she could mute the TV as the yelling from on screen got louder. "Is everything ok? I… really wasn't expecting a call from you"
Lani chuckled softly on the other end. "Yeah, I know. Sorry for just calling out of the blue"
"It's fine, like I said, I'm not exactly busy right now," JJ said, a small smile creeping onto her face as she leaned back against the couch. "Unless you count watching D'Andra threaten to cut a bitch busy"
Lani laughed. "Sounds like a productive afternoon for sure"
JJ grinned. "Very much so," she said with a soft laugh. "So what's going on? I mean… not to be blunt, but I haven't heard from you in ages. We missed you at the wedding"
There was a short silence before Lani took a deep breath. "It's been… a lot. I… honestly, Jayje, I don't even know how to explain everything without just trauma dumping on you, but I've basically had the worst ride of my life with my mental health lately, and even though I'm going over it all in therapy and my therapist says I'm 100% valid to feel the way I do, I just feel like such a first world problem dumbass"
"Why, what's going on?" JJ asked gently.
"I just… I've never felt so alone as I have for the last 12 months. Which I know doesn't hold a candle to everything you've been through in the last two years, and it was basically my own fault anyway, because when I felt myself getting bad again, I purposely withdrew from everyone, and a lot of my friends… well, they're not my friends anymore, because they thought I was icing them out. Even though I wasn't. And I… god this feels so fucking stupid to say, because it's not about me, and I feel like I've made it about me because I've brought it up in therapy so many times"
JJ frowned. "Lani, I don't really follow"
Heaving a sigh, Lani paused for a moment before she spoke, clearly weighing her words carefully. "I have been carrying so much guilt about the fact that I wasn't there for you when your dad died. Guilt that I am still trying to unpack in therapy, and… I don't want you to think I'm just using you as some sort of checkbox exercise to complete therapy, because I was always going to call you and talk to you, I just… my therapist gave me a bit of a nudge to pick up the phone and call you"
Softening as the reason for her friend's call started to become clear, JJ took a long, slow breath, before speaking again.
"Lani… you don't have anything to feel guilty about. I barely let Will and my mom help me… if you had reached out, there was a good chance I'd have blown you off anyway," she said honestly. "I tried to deal with it myself and I was an asshole to everyone who wanted to help. If anything, I'm glad I didn't inflict that shit on you"
"I know Jayje, but we were best friends. And yeah, we've grown apart and gone in different directions, it's what happens when we all become adults, but… deep down, Jayje, I still love you and care for you just as much as I did when we were kids. And when we were little, you were so timid and shy, I was the one shouting down anyone who gave you a hard time, and I just feel like… this time, I sat back and let these horrible things tear you apart from the inside. I guess, I just… part of me knew how much you were struggling. It was all over your face during the Olympics. And then you went to LA and went completely radio silent, and I just knew it wasn't good. And I think I'll always wish that I had put aside my pride, or the fear of it being awkward or whatever and just reached out to you. Told you that I was there if you needed me. Because I was. I am. I don't care if it's been nearly two years since we actually spent time together, or talked, or whatever, you're still important to me, JJ. You can pick up the phone at any time, and if you said you needed a friend, I'd be there in a heartbeat. But instead, I let my mind win and I pulled away from everyone, and now I'm in therapy to try and stop destroying myself over how much of a shitty friend I am, but I still feel like that's the reason everyone pulled away from me. Because I haven't been there for anyone but myself"
"You're not a shitty friend, Lani," JJ said gently. "We grew up. We chased different opportunities. You're off solving nuclear physics or whatever, and I'm-"
"-winning gold medals left right and centre"
JJ giggled. "Something like that"
"Do you see why I feel like an idiot? Because I let my brain convince me everyone hated me. And I knew you would be cool when I called you, but it still took me a week to pick up the phone"
"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you did," JJ said softly. "I… didn't realise how much I missed you"
"Me either. I'm sorry I didn't make it to your wedding. I was stoked to be invited, but I just… my mental health was so bad then"
"It's ok. I get it," JJ replied. "Trust me"
"I… yeah. I saw your post on Instagram… about what happened last year, and… I'm so sorry you were hurting so badly"
JJ swallowed hard, her eyes pricking ever so slightly as the rawness of Lani's voice hit her. "It was rough… I'm doing a lot better now. I still have bad days. I guess everyone does. It's all part of the ride, right?"
"Tell me about it"
There was a short silence that fell, where it seemed as though neither of them knew what to say next. After about ten seconds, JJ was the first to break it.
"Are you still in Pennsylvania these days?"
"I actually just moved to New York for a new job about a month ago"
"Oh that is so cool. You've made little Lani's dream come true, she always wanted to live in New York!"
Lani laughed. "That she did! But she didn't know how gross the subway was, or that dodging homeless people on the street is practically an Olympic sport. What about you, I gathered you're still in Pennsylvania, and I'm guessing you're still training?"
"What else would I be doing with my life?"
"Oh, I don't know, cashing in your winnings, living in the lap of luxury, making Will rub your feet everyday"
Laughing, JJ shook her head. "No, I'm still chasing that competitive high. But I do make Will rub my feet every day"
Lani laughed. "Atta girl. I don't know how you do it"
"I don't either. I busted my Achilles in October at Worlds, and yet the crazy part of my brain wants to give this another crack"
"What does the sane part say?"
"That I should be retired by now and letting Will have a normal wife, not one who does tricks that could kill her"
"Fuck the sane part, do what you want"
"My thoughts exactly," JJ laughed.
"Well, look, I'm gonna let you go, but… if you're in New York any time soon, let me know, ok? It would be good to catch up"
"What are you doing on the weekend of the 18th of August?"
"Nothing exciting as far as I can tell, why?"
"I'm going to be in Boston for Nationals… how would you feel about coming up?"
"Honestly? I'd love that. I always liked watching you compete"
"I can get you a ticket if you like?"
"You don't have to do that!"
"But I will," JJ laughed. "Honestly, it's no biggie. Just let me know if you can make it and I'll get you sorted"
"Ok, I… thanks!"
A short while later, the two had bid goodbye. Staring absently at the TV, JJ couldn't help but smile as she replayed the conversation back in her head. She hadn't expected it, but the phone call from Lani had been a wonderful surprise, a surefire way to perk up her sweltering afternoon.
And even better, she was never going to forget to tell someone that they were important to her. No matter when, or where, or how long it had been since they had spoken… people deserved to know they were loved and cared for.
By the time Will had come home and started whipping up something for dinner, the heat had thankfully died off enough that it was finally comfortable in the house without the air-conditioning going full force. Over dinner, JJ had filled Will in on her conversation with Lani, and he reciprocated by sharing anecdotes of what he called 'heat induced insanity' from members of the general public.
As Will was putting away his clean uniforms in his top drawer, JJ sidled up behind him, looping her arms around his bare waist and laying her head against his back.
"Hey you," he chuckled, tapping the back of her hand. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired. Are you ready for bed?"
Closing the drawer he was rifling through, Will turned around in her embrace, smiling down at her and cupping her cheeks in his hands as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Was just about to ask you the same thing"
JJ smiled, pulling away from him and clambering across the bed to get to her side as he followed behind her. They were beneath the covers within minutes, JJ already succumbing to the pull of sleep as she got settled on her side. The bed moved as Will shuffled up behind her, the heat of his body pressed behind hers, one of his arms coming to wrap around her and hold her back against him.
Even as her eyes grew heavy, she couldn't help but smile as Will slowly pressed kisses along the back of her shoulder, brushing her hair away from her skin as he went.
"Don't worry, I can tell you're really tired," he chuckled. "I'm not gonna try and get in your pants"
JJ giggled, burrowing down under the covers; Will had cranked the air-conditioning in the room as cold as it could go, meaning the room was now nice and chilly, just how they both liked it for sleeping. "I would say go for it anyway, but there's a good chance I'll fall asleep in two minutes and then it would just get weird"
Will laughed, snuggling up behind her and burying his nose into the back of her neck, continuing to press soft kisses to her warm skin. "I love you"
Turning her head back over her shoulder, JJ gave him a sleepy smile through drooping lashes. "I love you too"
And with that, they fell into comfortable quiet, wrapped up together, relaxed and soothed by each other's presence.