Responding to reviews:
Tjm: Owen wont be back as a mole, that plot sucked
"Last time on Total Drama Action…" Chris began the recap. "When Owen's jaw was unwired, it unleashed a hunger like no other! Owen stopped stuffing his face when he and Leshawna were snatched and stuffed into safes. The Grips managed to free Owen with the aroma of sweet chicken. Still mad at Leshawna, the Gaffers decided to let her rot in her cell. Quite possibly forever!" he continued.
(Flashback) "Guys? Yoo-hoo? What do you say?" Leshawna said from the safe.
"Tough guy Duncan got the fright of his life when he was faced with none other than... Courtney, who, thanks to her pitbulls - I mean, lawyers - is back in the running. The Grips lost, and due to a small technicality, Owen took the Lame-O-Sine to the nearest drive-through. With only eleven contestants left, maybe one of them will stand a chance on another awe-inspiring episode of Total. Drama. Action!" Chris ended the recap.
(Theme song)
The episode began with the girls in their trailer. "What about poor Owen? Or that boy I liked, Tyson?" Lindsay asked while braiding her hair.
"Tyler." Heather, Beth and Eva corrected.
"Girl's all lawyered up. I gotta try it. Get me the big bucks for being locked up in that safe all day." Leshawna angrily said while looking at Heather.
"You stole my spa day. Do the crime, do the time." Heather replied.
"Wasn't your spa day. Besides, I could've starved in there, people." Leshawna said.
"I seriously doubt that." Heather replied.
"And what is it you planned on doing at the spa with that wash-and-go hair?" Leshawna asked.
"Oh, no. I've got my hair in a knot! Beth, could you–" Lindsay tried to ask but was interrupted.
"Here. Let me." Heather said as she took the brush from Lindsay.
Confessional: Heather
"It kills me that Lindsiot has all that hair on her head when it's her fault I lost mine. I would've chopped it off, but all I had was a hairbrush." Heather said.
"Ow! Heather! I think you pulled my eyes into the back of my head!" Lindsay yelled in pain as Heather pulled her hair .
"Not a bad idea. With Courtney on your team, you better watch your back." Leshawna said.
"She's so bossy." Beth said.
"Not to mention annoying. It's so unfair how Owen got booted." Eva said.
"If you asked me, she did us all a favor. Now the air smells much better and we don't have to worry about being eaten." Heather said.
"I'd rather get eaten than deal with your or her yapping." Eva said.
"And it's not like we needed another know-it-all on the show." Lindsay said.
"Oh. Really?" Heather said as she pulled Lindsay's hair again.
"Ow! I was talking about me! Now that Bossy McSmartypants is back, no one is ever gonna listen to me ever again!" Lindsay said.
"Sorry, did you say something, honey?" Leshawna asked.
Confessional: Lindsay
"See, this is what I was talking about! Tyler thinks I can be a good leader but no one else seems to agree." Lindsay said.
Confessional: Heather
"I have gotta get me some hair! Not Leshawna's gross weave, Eva's atrocious mullet or Beth's pathetic ponytail. And I'm way too smart to be Lindsay blonde. But Courtney's? Hers would be perfect. I'm just gonna borrow these, 'kay?" Heather said as she took a pair of scissors from the make-up confessional.
Cut to the guys cabin. "Ugh, dude, how can you spend so much time on your hair?" Noah said as he held his nose while Justin sprayed hairspray on his hair.
"Seriously, my nose can't take any more!" Duncan complained.
"My agent Jesús says it's my best feature. Along with my neck, nose, chin, cheekbones, earlobes, eyebrows…" Justin said.
"Ugh, I don't care." Noah said.
"You know who's got nice hair? Courtney. I-I mean, it's not even the best thing about her." Duncan said.
"Or maybe it's my eyes." Justin thought.
"It's definitely not your intelligence." Noah mocked.
"And I mean, there's also her beautiful brown eyes, and her hot ass. I missed her a lot when she was away." Duncan said.
"Do I have to listen to you two talking about body parts all day?" Noah rolled his eyes.
Confessional: Noah
"I'm still upset about Owen's departure, especially considering how the only other guys left are pricks or alright but pathetic." Noah said.
"Well, I think Lindsay is cuter. Courtney's kind of mean." Tyler said.
"No one cares, sabotager. If you try to make us lose so she wins again I'm going to dislocate your arm." Duncan told Tyler.
"It was only one time!" Tyler argued.
"How do we know you won't do it again? Just don't get in the way, you useless idiot." Duncan said.
Confessional: Tyler
"I know I did kind of throw a challenge in the previous season but I learned from my mistakes! I'm trying to be more useful and yet Duncan still feels the need to keep reminding me of that. At least Lindsay's still here, I'd be upset if she ever got out.
Harold opened the bathroom door wearing a towel with no glasses and dropped a soap,
"You dropped your soap, dweeb." Duncan told Harold.
"Nice try, Duncan. Just because I'm blind without my glasses doesn't mean I'm stupi- Wha, whoa!" Harold said as he tripped on the soap and fell as Justin, Noah and Duncan laughed. They stopped laughing after he got up and they saw his exposed genitals.
"Aw, dude." Duncan said in disgust.
"Wow, that's big." Tyler said.
"Gr... What? I'm comfortable in my own skin." Harold said.
"Just keep your skin to yourself, dweeb." Duncan said.
Confessional: Harold
"I hope they censor that. Wouldn't want any ladies to have heart attacks due to my manliness." Harold said as he flexed his tiny biceps.
Cut to the girls trailer. "Ow!" Lindsay yelled as Heather pulled her hair again, managing to get the knot out.
"Got the knot!" Heather snickered.
"Hey, girls. Isn't anyone glad to see me?" Courtney asked as entered the trailer while everyone but Heather, who was smirking, glared at her.
"Not really." Eva said.
"Great to have your hair. Uh, here. Here. It's great to have you here, Courtney." Heather told Courtney while she looked at her hair, making her suspicious when suddenly, they heard Chef blowing a tribal horn.
"Uh, what was that?!" Leshawna asked.
Cut to a grass field where Chris was laughing while Chef blew into a tribal horn. "I love this thing." Chef said.
Confessional: Eva
"What is their obsession with weird ways of waking us up that are connected to the challenge?" Eva said.
Cut to everyone arriving at the grass field to see Chef and Chris wearing loincloths. "Talk about your fashion faux pas." Heather said.
"Are those boys wearing a loincloth?" Leshawna asked.
"Like it?" Chris asked.
"Oh. It hurts. A lot." Duncan said as he laughed.
"You think that hurts? Wait 'ti you hear today's challenges. Now, let's get started." Chef said.
"Uh, aren't you forgetting something?" Courtney said.
"As soon as I take care of a few formalities. Thanks to Courtney's lawsuit, she'll be playing by a different set of rules." Chris began explaining.
"You said there are no rules." Duncan said.
"There are when you have a good lawyer." Courtney replied.
"Chef, let's get this over with." Chris said as Chef took a book and began reading it.
"Ahem! Rule one. Not withstanding the contestants are not permitted to contact with the outside world, the contestants hereafter referred to as "Courtney" may retain a personal digital assistant. A.K.A. her PDA." Chef explained.
"What?! That's so not fair! I can call my family back at the farm with that!" Beth said.
"Care to take that up with our legal department, Beth? Huh?" Chris asked.
"Court is now in session!" Chef yelled as he wore a judge outfit and slammed a hammer into a platform, breaking it.
"Uh, never mind!" Beth said.
"Didn't think so. Court is now adjourned. Rule two. Whereas contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided by Chef Hatchet, aka moi, Courtney shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience with parties consisting of all the producers and Chris as applicable." Chef read.
"I hope you like lobster." Chris said.
"No way!" Beth and Heather said as everyone complained.
"Hey Chris? Why don't I get any lobster!" Chef angrily said.
"Let's see your lawyers get you out of this one." Chris chuckled, ignoring Chef and causing him to get pissed off.
"What? I'm still sleeping in the girls' trailer." Courtney said.
"Where she will have a pure goose down pillow, extra lofty comforter, and seven hundred thread count sheets. Oh. And her own. Private. Bathroom." Chef read as everyone said.
"Those are the new rules. Let's call them Courtney's rules. In honor of Courtney, who gets special treatment. And an unfair advantage." Chris said.
"Nice. Our spoiled princess didn't waste any time hooking herself up." Duncan said.
"And you don't have any problems with that, right?" Courtney replied.
"Uh, of course! Why would I have any problems with that!" Duncan chuckled.
"Good. Maybe I'll share some if you behave. You wouldn't want to miss out on the food, wouldn't you? I'm still upset about Gwen." Courtney said.
Confessional: Duncan
"If I behave!? What am I, a two year old?" Duncan said.
"Gwen and I are just friends, Court. You don't have anything to worry about!" Duncan told Courtney.
"I hope I don't have anything to worry about." Courtney said.
"While I'm loving this drama, I think today's challenges will help bring out your more... primal instincts. Today's genre? The period movie!" Chris said.
"Ooh! I love period movies! All the pretty petticoats with dresses and puff sleeves!" Beth said.
"Ugh, that's disgusting! No way am I wearing that stuff!" Eva gagged.
"Do we get wigs?" Heather asked.
"Chef! Do we have a wig?" Chris said.
"Well, there's this." Chef said as he got a red wig and tossed it at Heather.
"Ugh. It smells like raw meat." Heather said as she was disgusted by the wig's smell.
"That's because our period is the paleolithic period, which I thought you dum-dums might have guessed from my... loincloth." Chris said.
"Paleo Lipstick? Is that a new brand?" Lindsay asked.
"It's the stone age. We're going to be cavegirls." Beth said.
Confessional: Eva
"I'd rather be a tough and fierce cavegirl than a weak and pathetic princess! I'm going to dominate this challenge if I don't get held back like I did in every other challenge." Eva said.
"No talking. Cave people grunt and look confused, which means for once, you're all perfectly cast.
"As much as I want hair, I am not putting that sick thing on my head." Heather said, talking about the wig.
"No problem. You look pretty savage anyway." Chef said as he took the wig while Heather touched her bald head.
"Wait!" Heather said as she took the wig back and put it on.
"Okay! Cave people in prehistoric flicks do two things. Make fire and use tools made of bones. Technically, you should also know how to bring down a mammoth with a stick, but since Owen's no longer here, no mammoth, no challenge. Here are your costumes. Get into character, people." Chris said as Chef brought a pile of loincloths.
"You've gotta be kidding." Duncan said.
"I never kid. Actually, I do. But never about something this funny." Chris chuckled as everyone sighed.
Confessional: Courtney
"Ugh, why couldn't I return after this challenge was over!" Courtney complained.
Cut to everyone wearing their loincloths. Tyler had a red, Duncan had a yellow, Eva had a dark purple, Leshawna had a brown and Beth had a green full body cloth, Noah had a blue, Harold had a yellowish orange and Justin had purple shorts, Heather an orange, Courtey had a moss green and Lindsay had a pink two piece cloth. "Hello, cast. Nice to see you all decked out for the competition. And might I say, you all look pre-hysterical." Chris mocked.
"Who knew I'd look so hot in leopard skin?" Harold said as he posed.
"Now the world can see my abs!" Tyler said.
"That's amazing!" Lindsay said as she blushed.
"Ow! I think mine still has a claw." Courtney said as she itched her pants which had a claw in it.
Cut to Chris in the security room. "Please note: No animals were harmed in the making of this television program. Okay! We good?" Chris asked as he read a note.
Cut back to the campers. Heather tried to cut Courtney's hair but then cut the claw when she noticed and looked at her. "Um, there. Got it." Heather said as Courtney looked suspicious.
"Chef! The tools for the first Stone Age challenge please!" Chris told Chef.
"Here's your rocks." Chef said as he gave everyone some rocks.
"Rocks? Aren't we taking this Stone Age thing a little too literally?" Duncan asked.
"Shows how much you know, Duncan. Rocks are an awesome resource. Inuit hunters used them to build inukshuks. Plus, they make a great paperweight. Ow! That hurt!" Harold said as Duncan dropped a rock on his foot.
"What do you know? Rocks are useful." Duncan chuckled.
"First team to collect the hidden firewood and use the flint stones to make fire, earn something to help them with the second challenge. Ready? And... action!" Chris said as everyone ran away.
Cut to Duncan looking around when he was suddenly grabbed by Chef, accidentally hiring his cloth and accidentally exposing his genitals.. "Hey, hey! Easy there. Not a lot of fabric here." Duncan said as he pulled his loincloth back down.
"Hand it over." Chef angrily told Duncan.
"Ugh, fine." Duncan said as he threw multiple items away.
"All of it, prehistoric pond scum." Chef said.
"All right, all right." Duncan said as he tossed more when they suddenly heard Tyler screaming and Chef dropped Duncan before he could toss a lighter.
"Help, it's after me!" Tyler yelled as he ran away from a beaver while carrying sticks.
"Looks like Harold found the wooden beaver dam on the set of "Rodents Who Kill"!" Chris said as Tyler found more beavers and ran away the opposite direction.
"And "Rodents that Kill: Part 2"!" Chef chuckled.
"Why? Ahh!" Tyler screamed.
"Those killer beavers are animatronic, right?" Duncan asked.
"Animatronic? Of course." Chris said.
"That's it, keep those knees up!" Duncan told a running Tyler.
"Help me! Ah!" Tyler yelled as he was tripped by Duncan.
"Way to get the wood, teammate." Duncan told Tyler
"No! No! Ahh!" Tyler yelled as he was dragged away by a beaver..
"Coming!" Leshawna said as she came with Harold chased after the beaver.
"What are you doing? He had all our sticks, now we're going to lose!" Harold told Duncan.
"He probably would have destroyed those anyway. We can't trust him on the team as long as the dumb blonde is on the other after what he did last season." Duncan said.
"He said he regretted that, we should still give him a chance to redeem himself!" Harold replied.
"You do what you'll do, I do what I want." Duncan said and left.
"That is just so… gosh!" Harold angrily said.
Confessional: Harold
"Duncan and I have our differences. For example, whereas I hate him, he can't stand me. But we're guys. And guys can put stuff like that aside. For the sake of the team. We can also pee standing up." Harold explained.
Cut to the Grips trying to make a fire. "I don't get it. How do you make fire with a rock? Oh, is this like that game, Rock Paper Scissors?" Lindsay asked as she held some flints.
"Give me those." Courtney said as she took the flints and started trying to make a fire.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Courtney thinks she knows everything. But she doesn't know that when I was twelve, my flat iron once accidentally set fire to my grandma's house. Twice!" Lindsay said.
"I'll have this going in no time. I was a C.I.T. you know." Courtney said.
"Oh, she is not back on that again. This isn't camp, it's a movie set!" Leshawna said as the Gaffers came with sticks.
"She is a total drama queen." Duncan said.
"Excuse me?" Courtney angrily said..
"I meant it as a good thing!" Duncan replied.
"Good. You're already on thin ice after what happened with Gwen." Courtney said as she went back to trying to make a fire.
Confessional: Duncan
"I did not hook up with Gwen! Having Courtney back reminds me how much she drives me crazy! And how much she drives me crazy." Duncan swooned.
Confessional: Courtney
"I watched the show. I know what I saw between Duncan and Gwen. Nothing gets past me. I want to think he's still interested in me but mocking me isn't doing him any favors." Courtney said as someone cut her hair from behind the curtains.
Confessional: Heather
"I got some! Courtney's hair! Soon, it will be mine. All mine! What? I'm not crazy. I'm just bald." Heather said as she laughed crazily.
"Things are finally heating up!" Chris said as Duncan and Courtney tried to make a fire.
"Go, Duncan! Burn her!" Heather cheered.
"Come on, let's go!" Harold cheered.
"Yay! Go, Courtney!" Beth cheered.
"Whoo! All right!" Lindsay cheered.
"Don't mess this up!" Eva said.
"I love it when sparks fly." Chris said as Duncan and Courtney glared at each other when Duncan secretly used a lighter to make fire. The Gaffers cheered when they saw the fire.
"I, I make fire!" Duncan grunted as he hit his chest.
"Courtney, I thought for sure you'd be the first to burst into flames. Gaffers win the first challenge!" Chris said.
"Ugh! You obviously gave me fake flints! Nobody could start a fire with these ridiculous props!" Courtney said as she tossed the flints away.
"Fire!" Lindsay yelled as she took the flint and made fire with that.
"Whoa, nice job Lindsay!" Tyler said.
"Ooh, dah!" Courtney angrily stormed off.
Cut to Chef blowing a horn. "Yup. Still loving this crazy thing." Chef said as all the campers arrived.
"Time for our second caveman movie challenge. But first, Chef will pass out your rewards from this morning. Chef, weapons please." Chris told Chef.
"Hope y'all like the same stuff as dogs." Chef said as he showed some bones.
"Excuse me? Our reward is bones?" Leshawna asked.
"Hey, for cave people, bones were cutting edge technology. And, they're not your reward." Chris replied as Chef gave the Gaffers tiny bones and the Grips big ones.
"Hey, what gives? We won the challenge, I made fire!" Duncan said.
"Actually, you didn't. We reviewed the footage caught on camera, and you made fire with a lighter. Which is not a Stone Age tool. Which means... Lindsay made fire first! The Grips are the winners!" Chris explained as the Grips cheered.
"Well, well. Duncan. It seems your plan to beat me backfired." Courtney smirked.
"I've got many more for you, sweetheart." Duncan said as Courtney rolled her eyes.
Confessional: Courtney
"Duncan is so childish. He should stop calling me nicknames already, it's getting annoying." Courtney said.
"Ahem. The props department for caveman movies are bare bones. Which means these are all actors have to fight their on-screen enemies with.
"And who might these enemies be?" Leshawna asked.
"Each other, of course. Grip tribe versus Gaffer tribe." Chris replied.
"Cool. We have to fight each other with bones?" Duncan asked.
"I like your enthusiasm Duncan. Only you'll be fighting over there. Each player that knocks his or her opponent off the column into that big bubbling tar pit scores a point for their team. To the tar pits!" Chris said as he pointed at two pillars in a tar pit.
"Wait, but we have six players and they have five." Noah said.
"Nice of you to point that out Noah. One of the Grips will not be competing. Who it is will be decided by a wheel." Chris said.
"Let's see who the lucky brat is!" Chef said as he brought a wheel and spun it. It landed on Eva.
"What!" Eva angrily said.
Confessional: Eva
"Seriously, I'm probably the only person here who actually wants to do this! Did they rig the wheel so that it's more fair to the Gaffers?" Eva questioned.
Cut to Leshawna and Noah on the platforms. "I'm supposed to knock him off with this teensie weensie little bone?" Leshawna asked.
"How am I supposed to knock you off at all? There is a great weight difference between us." Noah said.
"Excuse me!?" Leshawna angrily said.
"Uh, how do we know when to start?" Noah asked.
"Oh, don't worry. You'll know!" Chef laughed as he blew into the tribal horn.
"Whoa! Ahh!" Noah squealed, startled by the noise and ended up falling in the tar pit as the Gaffers cheered.
"Aw, see? Now that was just way too easy." Leshawna laughed.
"That's one point for the Gaffers!" Chris said.
"That was just pathetic." Eva told Noah as he got out of the tar pit.
"You try being a skinny guy trying to hold a giant bone on a tiny platform as you hear a painful horn noise." Noah replied.
"Next up, Tyler and Lindsay!" Chris said as Tyler gasped.
Confessional: Tyler
"How am I going to knock my girlfriend off a platform into a tar pit? Man, why did I have to go up against Lindsay!" Tyler sighed.
Cut to Tyler and Lindsay on the platforms where Tyler looked unsure about what to do.
"Go, Lindsay!" Beth cheered.
"Smash his skull in!" Eva cheered.
"Come on Tyler, you can beat her!" Harold cheered.
"He's going to jump in the tar pit and pretend that he tripped." Duncan said as Tyler looked at the tar pit.
"Don't do that! You saw what happened last time, don't be a filthy essay thief!" Harold yelled.
"I-I can't do this!" Tyler replied.
"Tyler? What are you doing?" Lindsay asked.
"I'm jumping in the tar pit. I'm not going to hurt you!" Tyler replied.
"I don't want to hurt you too, but you know what happened last time. You got voted out!" Lindsay told Tyler.
"Better me than you!" Tyler replied.
"Weren't you the one who told me that I could be a leader if I wanted? I can hold my own, you don't need to sacrifice yourself for me! I made the Top 5 last season after all." Lindsay said.
"But.." Tyler tried to say but was interrupted.
"Tyler, please. Do it for me and yourself too!" Lindsay told Tyler.
"Alright! I'm going to do it!" Tyler said as Beth, Harold and Leshawna cheered.
"Get on with it already!" Eva yelled as Tyler tried to hit Lindsay but she blocked it with her bigger bone.
"Ah! Oof!" Tyler grunted he hit her bone multiple times and was launched back every time and eventually ended up falling in the tar pit.
"I won? I won! Whoa! Ahh!" Lindsay screamed as she accidentally fell in the tar pit.
"Linds, are you okay?!" Beth asked Lindsay as she popped her head out of the tar.
"It feels like a cool mud bath. I wonder if it's good for the skin." Lindsay said.
"Here. Be sure to let me know." Justin said as he pulled Lindsay out of the tar.
"You did the right thing. Good job, even if you lost." Harold said as he pulled Tyler out of the tar.
"Thanks, dude." Tyler replied.
Confessional: Tyler
"I might have lost, but I managed to show that I wasn't a team backstabber and proved that Lindsay can be strong! So I don't mind." Tyler said.
"Next up, Beth and Heather!" Chris said as they suddenly heard a goose scream.
"Look what decided to show up!" Chef said as they looked at the air to see some prehistoric pterodactyls.
"Uh-oh! Looks like Lindsay's blood curdling screams have attracted a swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls. This should make things interesting." Chris said.
"Cool special effects, man. High five." Justin said as he offered Chris a high-five.
"Oh totally special effects." Chris replied as he backed away.
Cut to Beth and Heather on the platforms. "Why don't you just jump off now and save us all the time!" Heather said as she hit Beth with her bone on the head.
"Oof! Ow!" Beth grunted as a pterodactyl suddenly grabbed Heather's hair.
"My hair! Let go or you're dead meat, Tweetie!" Heather grunted as the pterodactyl flew away with her wig while she fell but held onto Beth's bone.
"Let go!" Beth said.
"You let go!" Heather replied.
"Okay." Beth said and dropped the bone, causing Heather to fall into the tar pit with it.
Confessional: Beth
"They make us do a lot of horrible, humiliating things to each other on this show, and I haven't been very good at most of them. But when I knocked Heather off her high pedestal, and made her fall into a pit of bubbling tar, well, that was my high point of the competition. Maybe my whole life!" Beth chuckled.
"All right!" Courtney, Justin, Lindsay and Noah cheered.
"Whoo! All right!" Leshawna cheered.
"Hey, whose team are you on, anyway?" Duncan asked.
"Yours. And hers. But it's kind of lose-win, no?" Leshawna replied.
"Fair enough." Duncan replied.
"Isn't anyone gonna help me out of here?" Heather asked in the tar pit.
"And that evens the score at one-all for the Grips and the Gaffers. Next up, Justin and Harold." Chris said.
Cut to Justin and Harold on the platforms where Justin dramatically posed.
Confessional: Justin
"I'm gonna win the million, but that shot of me standing atop the stone column is worth even more. It's gonna be an iconic image for the series. Hey, Lindsay was right about the tar. My skin does look even better." Justin explained as he was covered in tar and looked at his hands.
"Hoo-ha! Huah! Wha! Uh-oh." Harold grunted as he dodged Justin's swings and saw some beavers approaching.
"Don't blow this, Harold! They're not real beavers!" Duncan said.
Confessional: Harold
"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm scared of... beavers! Especially fake prehistoric beavers." Harold said.
"Just don't go and lose this challenge for us, beavers can't swim through tar!" Duncan said as the beavers went in the tar.
"Their teeth are the size of railway spikes!" Harold said.
"You'll be okay, baby!" Leshawna yelled.
"Don't be a wimp! The columns are plaster, not wood! And beavers can't climb!" Duncan yelled.
"Uh, you sure!?" Tyler asked as he pointed at the beavers chewing and climbing on Harold's platform.
Confessional: Duncan
"I guess my knowledge of prehistoric beavers is a little rusty." Duncan said.
"Down, beavers! Down! Get back to your dam! Whoa! Ahh!" Harold yelled as he hit the beavers on his platform and ended up falling. However, he managed to pull Justin off his platform and hold onto it as Justin fell in the tar pit.
"Nice job on losing." Noah said as he pulled Justin out of the tar.
"At least I lasted more than a second!" Justin replied.
"At least I didn't lose to a guy who's half my strength!" Noah replied.
"That was awesome! Would've preferred to see some beaver carnage. But you can't have everything. Anyways, that leaves the teams tied. And us with a grudge match between Duncan and Courtney. On the same column! You just can't write this stuff." Chris laughed.
"Don't get too hyped. Duncan won't last more than two seconds." Courtney said.
"Oh, we'll see about that princess." Duncan replied.
Cut to Duncan and Courtney on the same pillar. Courtney grunted as she almost fell and ended up holding on Duncan. "Quit trying to make out with me!" Duncan laughed.
"All you're going to kiss is the end of my bone!" Courtney replied.
"Stuff it and begin!" Chef said as he blew the horn. The two almost fell but held each other's hands for support and ended up kissing.
"Oh, yeah! Now that's the stuff!" Duncan laughed.
Confessional: Duncan
"It's like there were two Courtneys up there! The nut job I wanted to knock into the tar pit, and the hottie in the fur bikini!" Duncan explained.
Confessional: Courtney
"Sure, Duncan has this primal animal magnetism, heh, but he's also between me and winning this challenge." Courtney explained.
"Whaaa! Yah!" Courtney yelled as she slammed her bone in Duncan's kiwis.
"Oh! Ah…" Duncan grunted as he held his kiwis and fell in the tar pit.
Confessional: Duncan
"Why do they always go for the kiwis? Why?!" Duncan squealed as he clutched his kiwis.
"Ah hah! I gotta check that out again!" Chris said as he replayed Duncan falling in the tar pit.
"Ah… Ah…" Duncan grunted as he fell in the pit in the footage.
"Awesome! Well, I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance at one million, B.C. B.C.: Before Courtney. As for the Grips, they won today's reward. A mammoth-sized prehistoric barbecue!" Chris said as the Grips cheered while Duncan got out of the tar pit while crawling.
"Meh. It's a living." Chef said as he came with a barbeque kart.
"Don't worry. The Grips may have won today's reward, but we're not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry." Chris said as he gave Tyler a pterodactyl egg.
"A pterodactyl egg?" Tyler asked.
"Should be enough for four. You do have fire. Maybe if you're lucky, the Grips will throw you a bone when they're done." Chris said as the Gaffers fire ended.
"Is it at least hard-boiled?" Harold asked.
"Ha ha ha, barbecue time." Justin said as the barbeque cart ended up falling in the tar pit while Chef got off it.
"Oops." Chef said as he saw what happened.
"Look on the bright side. You still have your bones. You could use them to hunt for dinner." Chris said as the Gaffers laughed.
"Now that's gotta hurt." Harold said.
"Hey, what's that?" Tyler asked as he pointed at a pterodactyl diving toward him to hit him.
"Uh, Tyler? I think the pterodactyl wants its egg back." Harold said as the pterodactyl started attacking Tyler.
"Wha! Get this thing off of me!" Tyler yelled as Heather got out of the tar pit and saw Tyler being attacked by the pterodactyl that still had her wig.
"Give me back my wig! Nobody messes with my hair!" Heather yelled as she fought with the pterodactyl and ended up beating it and dragged it away.
"Probably tastes like chicken. Speaking of chicken, tonight's surf-and-turf. Shall we?" Chris asked Chef.
"Let's shall." Chef replied.
Cut to Harold holding a pterodactyl egg over a fire as Leshawna held him while Tyler sat next to them alongside Duncan who was laying in the ground holding his kiwis. "How long for a soft-boiled pterodactyl egg?" Harold asked.
"I'm guessing about three hours." Leshawna replied.
"Um, Leshawna?" Harold said.
"Yes, sweetie?" Leshawna replied.
"My hands feel ouchie." Harold said. Meanwhile Tyler saw the Grips walking away and waved at Lindsay as she waved back. Duncan saw this and was upset.
Confessional: Courtney
"After I got rigged out last season, I realized playing fair doesn't pay. My new strategy is to sue to win and I'm not going to let anyone stand in my way, even Duncan. Mm! Lobster and Belgian chocolate." Courtney said as she ate lobster.
Cut to the award ceremony. "Gaffers, welcome to your first ceremony in a long time." Chris began the ceremony.
"Mean Girl, you lost to Blath of all people due to being distracted by your wig. You also tried to cut off C.I. 's hair." Chef called out Heather who looked confident.
"You what!?" Duncan angrily said.
"Oh, boo hoo, cry me a river." Heather rolled her eyes as Duncan looked upset.
"Jockless, while you didn't sabotage like last time, you still lost your match against Dumb Blonde." Chef called out Tyler who looked happy.
"Finally, Delinquent. You cheated to make the fire and lost to your girlfriend like Jockless did, only in a more humiliating way." Chef called out Duncan who looked determined.
"Gilded Chris awards go to…" Chris began as he started tossing the awards.
"Leshawna." he said as he threw her a reward.
"Harold." he said as he threw him a reward.
"and Heather. Only two left. Which loser will take the Lame-O-Sine?" he said as he threw Heather a reward. Duncan and Tyler were both determined.
"The final Gilded Chris award goes to
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Duncan." he said as he threw Duncan a reward. Tyler didn't look to upset.
"Well, sorry I disappointed you guys." Tyler said.
"You didn't disappoint us, you gave it your all. That's what matters." Harold said.
"Sugar baby is right. You got my respect, jock boy." Leshawna said as Tyler smiled.
Cut to the Lame-O-Sine. "Oof!" Tyler grunted as he ended up tripping and fell while the Lame-O-Sine left without him. "Hey! You forgot me! Come back!" Tyler yelled as he ran after the Lame-O-Sine.
Confessional: Lindsay
"I can't believe they voted poor Tyler off. Well, whatever. I'm going to win this to show that he was right to believe in me!" Lindsay said.
Confessional: Heather
"I'm happy we got two eliminations in a row. Reward challenges are such a waste of time. I wish we had a Gilded Chris ceremony every night. Let's get on with it already so I can get my million bucks and get a decent makeover. I mean, a super-sized serving of meat? Who cares? I've got something better. Courtney's hair! No, you can't have it! It's mine! Well, okay. It was Courtney's but I took it, which makes it mine!" Heather said as an intern came and fought Heather for Courtney's hair, took it back and left. "Ugh, it won't come off. I have hair! I finally have hair!" she said as she put her wig on.
Confessional: Chris
"I know everyone wanted to see Heather cut off Courtney's hair. Trust me, so did I. [slurp] But, the girl's got a kickbutt lawyer. Can't harm a hair on her head. See you next time, kiddies! Same Chris time, same Chris channel!" Chris said as he drank from Mr. Coconut and tossed it away, accidentally breaking something off-screen. "Uh, wasn't me!" he said as he ran away.
VOTES
Confessional: Duncan
"Jockless still lost even if he didn't throw." Duncan said as he chose to eliminate Tyler on the device.
Confessional: Leshawna
"Sorry Tyler, Duncan and Heather are just a lot more useful, even if I don't like them." Leshawna said as she chose to eliminate Tyler on the device.
Confessional: Heather
"Jockless is one of the most incompetent people I've ever met." Heather said as she chose to eliminate Tyler on the device.
Confessional: Harold
"I vote for Duncan. Tyler didn't throw the challenge this time, Duncan deserves to go." Harold said as he chose to eliminate Duncan on the device.
Confessional: Tyler
"Duncan's a jerk with a capital J!" Tyler said as he chose to eliminate Duncan on the device.
BONUS CLIP
Tyler's Lame-O-Sine Ride
"I'm not too sad about being voted off. If I'm realistic, I probably wasn't going to win anyway and I at least went out while proving I wasn't a dirty sabotager and Lindsay's still there. Hey, maybe I'll get chosen to play more often due to this instead of mostly sitting on the bench. I'm very capable, you know. I've got wicked strong- Ow!" Tyler said as he accidentally slapped himself while trying to show off his hands.
Screaming Gaffers: Duncan, Harold, Heather, Leshawna
Killer Grips: Courtney, Beth, Eva, Justin, Lindsay, Noah
Eliminated Contestants:
11. Tyler
12. Owen
13. Izzy
14. DJ
15. Gwen
16. Trent
x. Izzy
17. Geoff
18. Bridgette
The first change of the season is that Tyler is booted earlier! I was originally going to boot him in EP 10 by having his jaw be broken and making him med-evac but he barely did anything until that so I decided to make him last longer and give him a proper boot here. I think the arc of him redeeming himself after sabotaging his team before works here. I also made the Heather confessional be in the episode because I wanted to have it but couldn't make it the bonus clip due to needing a Lame-O-Sine clip for Tyler. As for Courtney, she's less abusive to Duncan but will still hurt him to win like she did in cannon.