The Man in Blue Flannel Pants Homer gets promoted, again... Bart invites Krusty to run a dinner party at his house and then Reads to Lisa. Then Kearney wants Bart to read to him...
Plot
The title gag is Krusty and Mel on a pair of trapeze.
"Hey hey hey!" Krusty laughs. He fails to catch Mel who falls screaming to his death.
...
The episode starts at Krustylu Studios. Bart and Milhouse got tickets to sit in on the live show. Instead of having to watch it at home.
Krusty squirts Mel with a seltzer bottle and clobbers him with a mallet.
The kids laugh.
"Is there any better feeling than waiting for a live Krusty show to start?" Bart sighed.
"Maybe watching your bride coming down the aisle." Milhouse asked.
"Hmm..." Bart day dreams.
His dream is about him marrying the zombie lady again...
He walks his undead bride down the aisle of Lovejoy's church. Organ music plays.
The zombie Mrs Simpson growls and rips off Bart's scalp, she eats his brains...
"Coooooool!" Oscar as the ring bearer cooes.
Homer sobbed. Marge comforts him thinking he is being loving and supportive.
"Why does she get to eat before the reception?" Homer whined tearfully.
Marge sighed exasperated.
"Why am I the best man..." Radioactive Man asked baffled.
Back in reality Bart chuckles.
Milhouse shrugged as he can't read minds and has no idea what Bart is imagining.
Back stage Krusty gets ready. He is wearing a gadget laden robo-dinner suit to perform clown antics for him.
"Seltzer bottle connected and pressurised?" he asked.
"Check." said a technician.
"Roll-up dicky set to six?" Krusty asked.
"Nope. 11." said A technician.
(gasps) The other technicians gasped.
"My comedy comes from taking risks. Or avoiding them, I can't remember." said Krusty.
Annoying agents or executives arrive.
"Krusty, we need to talk."
"Make it fast. I got a coiled up spring ready to boi-oi-oi-oi-oing." said Krusty.
His gadget suit's pants explode and fall apart... damaged servos hiss with smoke and crackle.
"Oh, why can't I be funny with just my words?" Krusty whined.
"Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch, except when he's off work." said Krusty.
Uh...
"It's a crack about his dogs..." said Krusty.
"I thought it was a crack about his ex girlfriend's antics in the bedroom..." said a technician. "And them constantly filing lawsuits at him when he ends the relationship..."
Front stage.
"I hope he does the Me So Solly gag! That always makes me plotz!" Bart giggled.
"I dunno Bart..." said Milhouse using binoculars. "I see him wearing the dicky shirt, but he's not wearing the buck teeth..."
"If you find that funny then you're hypocritical racists, kids..." said a xenomorph from Alien wearing a red Romney hat.
"No we're not... Only you're racist for disliking black Nick Fury because you can't handle blackwashing in media..." said Bart.
The alien stormed off annoyed.
"Who was that guy?" Bart asked.
"Another jerk like Hank..." said Oscar. "Except instead of bullying me over my diaper fetish that guy is projecting so hard that he is correct and that wokeism is bad."
...
Bart and Milhouse got bored waiting for Krusty. They took to punching each other's arm.
"Ow!"
"Ow..."
And so on...
"We were lied to. We were promised Punchello antics and buffoonery!" Milhouse whined.
The kids jeer.
Back stage.
Krusty's robo-pants have been fixed and set back to the desired setting with his roll-up dicky set to 11.
Krusty hears the kids getting impatient. "Uh oh... the kiddies are getting restless..."
"Krusty this is important though." said an Executive person etc.
"Okay out with it..." said Krusty.
"It's about your vodka, Absolut Krusty." said the agent or executive.
"Oh God! Is it because I use Methanol (Wood alcohol!) instead of Ethanol?!" Krusty gasped.
"No! We're having trouble persuading people it's hip to drink a vodka made by a clown, in a bottle shaped like a clown, that does this when you open it." said an agent.
She opens the bottle of vodka. It goes AWOOOOOOOOGAAAAAA! Like a circus car horn.
Krusty laughs. "Always gets me."
"Yes well... Adults when they drink they don't want their vodka bottle making silly noises..." said the lady agent.
"Hey! If Drunko the inebriated clown can sell vodka, why can't I?" Krusty asked sharply.
The agents frown.
"Yeah, plus, that TV special where you drank another brand of vodka didn't help." said a man.
"I used up my stuff poisoning deer." said Krusty. That's mean...
The agents frown at him.
"Plus I don't like the taste of my own product! It has methanol in it..." said Krusty.
"If we're ever gonna sell your vodka, we need to do something completely unorthodox- a viral marketing campaign." said an agent.
"Viral?! Oh no! I don't want the flu again..." said Krusty.
The agents gave him irked glances. "That's not what viral marketing means..."
They explained to him what viral marketing means.
"Oh I get it! We run a commercial featuring bikini clad babes..." said Krusty feeling horny...
"Uh no..." said an agent.
"Sic a giant goat to terrorise Europe?" Krusty asked.
"No! Hear us out Krusty..." said the lady agent. "We need to do something... something unorthodox..."
"No way! In case you haven't realised! I am an orthodox jew!" said Krusty.
The agents sighed.
"Go on..." Krusty sighed.
"People are more likely to drink your vodka if they think all their coolest friends are drinking it."
LSo, we pay for a big party at the home of a Springfield trendsetter. Your Brockman, your Bumblebee Man..."
"He invites his cool friends, we serve free cocktails, made with your vodka, generating buzz." The agents explain in turn.
"We got buzz. When Oscar brought in a live beehive..." Krusty sighed.
"Positive buzz." said the agents.
"That exists? Wow." said Krusty.
"So, all you have to do is find one of your loyal fans whose house we can trash and friends you can exploit." said the agents.
Krusty's robo-pants creak.
Hurry up! Unless you want a face full of clown junk!" said Krusty.
"I do!" said Oscar.
"Yes we know kiddo. You have a disturbing clown fetish..." said Krusty.
Oscar moaned aroused.
Cousin Hank seethed.
The agents go on and on about viral marketing. And subsidiaries.
Krusty's gadget-equipped robo-pants explode. He groans.
"I need a drink." Krusty groaned.
Mr Teeny the chimp offers him his bottle of Absolut Krusty.
"Not that! Never that!" Krusty yelled.
...
After the show.
"Hey, hey, kids! Who wants to host a viral marketing event?" Krusty asked.
"Yay!" The kids cheer.
"All you have to do is write me a letter about how hip and influential your parents are." said Krusty.
"Milhouse, I'm gonna win that thing." said Bart.
"How do you know, Bart? Maybe for once I'll win." said Milhouse smugly.
"Children of troubled marriages not eligible." said Krusty coldly, as if singling out Milhouse.
"Oh!" Milhouse groaned.
"Or orphans...l said Krusty.
"Oooooooh!" Oscar whined.
...
Bart's house. He obviously won the prize of holding Krusty's viral marketing party.
"So, uh, why are you here?" Homer asked Krusty and his agents. "Is it about that unauthorized Krusty lookalike I hired for Lisa's first communion?"
"What was his name? Krappy the Klunk. See?"
There was a photo of Lisa in a fancy white dress at her communion or something. An elderly clown squirts water from a seltzer bottle all down her dress.
"Homer, we're here to throw the most redonkulous marketing outreach this town's ever seen." said the agent.
Hugo snorted annoyed. "Redonkulous is not a real word..."
"Shut up fr-" Homer seethed but Oscar pulls out a black hand gun on him. He immediately kept his trap shut.
"All you have to do is invite every cool person you know." said tbe make agent.
"Hey, I wrote the application. Do any of my friends get to come?" Bart whined.
"One friend." said the lady agent.
"He can listen to music with headphones on, he gets one slice of cheese pizza, and if the party gets slow, he has to pretend to let Krusty save him from drowning." said The male agent.
Bart did not like this short end of the deal. Who's party was this anyway? His! That's for sure!
Bart frowned a furious glare as the fourth wall zoomed in on his icy glare and bongo drums played a small solo.
Suddenly the male marketing advisor had a pineapple head and the lady marketing advisor was a Redonkulous. Part donkey, part Mardi Gras festival dancer.
"Okay... Fine we'll do things your way evil one..." the marketing advisor guy sighed. Dreading Bart's demands.
Bart smirked.
Marge sighed. "Bart, if I am getting this right... This is a grown up's party that goes on way past your bed time..."
"I get to stay up all night..." Bart said in a demonic voice.
Marge sighed.
...
That night. The house had a glass sculpture of a bottle of Absolut Krusty on the front lawn, lights and loads of cars. Ie the party was very, very popular...
However the sign spelt the Simpsons surname wrong. It read Stimsons.
"You idiots! Our name is Simpsons!" Homer yelled.
"Can't you be the Stimsons, just for tonight?" The marketing agents sighed.
"No! Take down the banner and write it again!" Homer yelled.
The marketing agents sighed flustered and annoyed.
Inside the party was packed with guests. Including Bumbleman and Boobrella.
Redonkulous!"
"Off the bilge!" said each of Homer's friends as they arrived along with celebrities like Kent Brockman and Bumblebee man.
"Kali Arrrrrrrr!" Pirate Kali was there too...
Bart winced exasperated.
"This is much better than the crummy parties we usually throw!" said Homer. "Shame we're crammed in here because of Bart's tantrum with his evil freaky powers!"
There was a dividing fence sealing off some of the rooms of the house from the grown up party. In the dining room, kitchen and Maggie's play room/rumpus room were kids all running around wrecking the place. And fighting. Most of the fighting was caused by Nelson.
"I just hope Hugo's having fun..." Marge sighed.
Down in the basement. Hugo had Bart's crummy make up party hosted by Sideshow Mel. He was sat with Milhouse and Kirk.
"And that is why John Gielgud was more of a father to me than my own father..." said Mel running a boring slideshow.
"Hey! Why I oughta!" said the ghost of Melvin Von Horne Sr. He died in season 18 remember?
Mel grimaced exasperated.
"Where's the nachos you promised?!" Milhouse whined.
"There'll be time enough for nachos!" Sideshow Mel said annoyed.
"Why can't I join the grown up party?" Kirk, Milhouse's Dad asked.
"You said the clown scared you..." Mel sighed giving him a quizzical look.
"Well he did. A little..." said Kirk.
"The clown scared me too." said Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature. "Clowns are the ultimate evil! They want to become the dominant species!"
Mel winced.
Plot 2
The party is still on going.
At the bar, attended by busboys in red tuxedos. The Absolut Krusty vodka dispenser dispenses vodka out of Krusty's nose on the bottle resembling his jolly face. Eeeeeeeew!
"Eeeeeeeew! The vodka pours out of his nose!l Oscar whined.
Clownja winced. Oscar cartoon clown headed jack-in-a-box thing that has blond hair and a big round red shiny nose.
Marge sighed ushering Oscar out of the grown up's area.
Elsewhere on the ground floor/first floor for Americans like the Simpsons. Bart was dancing corny out of style disco dancing to the loud music with Oscar.
"This viral marketing party is a failure because of that brat and his supernatural powers! No one wants to associate cool with a family friendly party with kids running about!" The male advisor sighed.
"Sean do you want to be a pineapple head again...?" His coworker asked. Warning to just let Bart have his way.
"Could be worse. Homer could have invited the boss of the plant! Mr Burns!" said Carl Carlson.
"Hehehehe! As if I'd be that stupid! Not to mention all the evil things he's done to me and my family! Hahahaha! You're a real hoot!" Homer laughed.
"Dah! I knew I forgot someone important! Come in Mr Burns!" said a instant capsule clone of Homer from Hugo's instant clone, just add water capsules that make stupid, inbred version clones that are unstable and melt into a puddle of gore after a while. The Bitch Stewie style clone of Homer stupidly let Mr Burns in.
"Ah hoy hoy!" Mr Burns greeted everyone.
Everyone groaned as he brung down the party.
"He's destroying our youthful demographic!" Carl whined.
"This is bad! Homer please get rid of him!" Krusty's agents whine.
Mr Burns wanted to do karaoke.
"Oh I feel like singing!"
"Do you have anything by Prince..." Homer asked the DJ.
"Wilhelm of Prussia?" Mr Burns cut in.
"Um no..." said Raphael as the DJ.
"Ah yippee yippee!" Zombie Kaiser Wilhelm ranted angrily trying to do his version of a Yeehaw.
Buck McCoy and Zombie Billy the kid face palmed and shook their heads at Kaiser Wilhelm's antics.
...
"Just play the oldest, stupidest thing you have!" said Homer exasperated.
"I'll check my beeswax cylinders..." said Raphael.
"Woooooow... because we're dealing with such an old fossil Dad, instead of stopping at LPs on a gramophone we're going back to the beeswax cylinders..." Bart snarked as he drank a can of buzz cola.
"Those gramophones are too complicated and newfangled for me!" Mr Burns ranted.
Mr Burns sung a stupid song about biplanes and a lady called Josephine.
After ruining the party with his old fogey antics Mr Burns thanked Homer for giving him a good time.
"Homer Simpson, you truly are the beating baboon heart of this party!" said Mr Burns.
Homer was so touched that Mr Burns finally remembered his name he forgot why he hated him and cried.
"Oh thank you! Thank you sir! This is the greatest moment in my life!" Homer grovelled to Mr Burns simply because he remembered his name for once. "Nothing can ruin this perfect moment!"
Bart came on screen moaning and clutching his chest.
"Bart are you alright dear?" Marge asked him.
"My baboon heart! Body rejecting it!" Bart groaned. He barfed up a cow heart.
"Eeeeeeeew!" Everyone cried again Bart's gross party trick.
He chuckled and chortled.
"Well except tha-" Homer commented but...
"Baboon! Baboon! Baboon!" Lisa screamed angrily at Homer.
"Lisa stop calling me that!" Homer reprimanded her.
"Babooooooon!" Lisa screamed.
Everyone decided the party was ruined and went home.
(Muttering as they left).
"Nice going Simpsons..." the agents sighed annoyed.
"You morons! Now no one will think my vodka is cool!" Krusty yelled.
Bart sighed.
Oh and Krusty isn't in the rest of the episode for some daft reason.
...
In canon Homer got promoted, again... until Matt insists upon status quo.
Mr Burns's office.
He discusses the situation.
For once he was rewarding Homer
"Well that's better than being chased out by angry hounds, falling down a trapdoor or being a peg in your human croquet games..." said Homer.
"When I let you be a hoop, you split your pants..." said Mr Burns.
Oscar laughed.
"Speaking of pants..." said Homer.
"Hurry up Simpson! Our current accountant Robert Marlowe is retiring this month!" said Mr Burns sharply.
"Yes. And then the only tie I'll be wearing will just be for auto erotic pleasure..." said accountant Robert Marlowe who was an eighties, whiskey drinking accountant.
"Eeeeeeeeeew! TMI! Too much info!" Homer groaned in disgust.
Oscar moaned aroused and made loud sexual gasps.
There was discussion about the perks of the job and boring yakking.
"But before you say yes Homer. I must warn you. Account men lose their soul!" Robert warned ominously.
In a burst of hellfire Treehouse of Horror XI Satan appeared laughing evilly.
"Woohoo! No more church!" Homer cheered.
Mr Burns gave a baffled and slightly concerned bug-eyed look.
"Sir are you sure? Simpson's record as safety inspector. He hasn't exactly set the world on fire... But he has come close..." said Smithers. This here kids is an example of an antanaclasis, A pun using two different meanings of a word. In this case figuratively and literally setting the world on fire...
"I want to set the world on fire... sometimes I just want to see it all burn..." said Oscar turning evil...
Mr Burns gawked at him.
"Does he have to be here..." Burns sighed.
"Yes to tell the story..." said Oscar.
Robert Marlowe shows Homer the ropes.
Oscar suddenly figured who Robert Marlowe reminded him of.
"Huzzah! I knew I recognised you, mister New One Appearance Character!" said Oscar. "You're that guy from The Adjustment Bureau film!"
Homer grimaced exasperated.
...
Homer goes to his new office, In Sector 22 F.
He also was given access to the executive Bathroom again.
Homer arrives at a nice, new looking office building.
"So long, Sector 7-G. Hello, Sector 22-F!" said Homer delighted.
He gets in one of those fancy glass elevators with the tiny bell that goes ding!
He was also subjected to horrible elevator music. He leaves the elevator shivering in disgust.
Homer looks about his huge individual accountant's office.
There's a seating area of chairs by a large window. A massage masseuse lady. A sushi chef. A bowling alley, yes a bowling alley... And finally a sexy secretary.
Homer didn't care for the beautiful secretary as he is happily married.
He goes from this main area of his office to his actual working area. A smaller room with a desk.
He looks out his window in awe.
Robert is waiting in his office.
"The higher they rise, the further they fall!" said Robert.
"You know, you're kind of a downer." Homer frowned.
"Must... not... make... We... Happy... Few... reference..." Oscar grunted as he exerted himself and fainted.
Homer winced.
"I thought you were retiring. Why are you still here?" Homer asked Marlowe.
"He is here to tell you that your entire life has been controlled since birth by a shady organisation of men in suits who travel via magic cartoon Scooby Doo doors!" said Oscar. Oz seriously...
"You monster! Let me run my own life!" Homer screamed.
"You moron! The last tine you humans had free will you caused World War I! Then you caused World War II!" said Robert.
"I don't care! This is my life! I will fight this machine! And any goons you send after me!" Homer yelled.
"You said it Homer!" said Oscar.
Robert sighed.
Loads of Agent Smiths arrive.
"Mr Simpson..." said one.
Homer screamed.
Oscar winced.
Also Terrance Stamp is in the Adjustment Bureau.
"KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" His uh character yelled.
Oscar winced.
"Aw geez... Oz ruined the episode with nonsense again..." Bart in the green room sighed.
...
Then Matt retconned Bart Stops to Smell The Roosevelts as if it never happened and that Bart is still an underachiever and proud of it.
"Hey that's my motto man!" said Bart sat on Lisa's bed in his pyjamas reading her a bedtime story as that's his subplot this episode. "Plus you kept saying I was messing with the natural order by turning the bullies into history loving geeks."
"You were messing with the natural order! And causing me to constantly reference Night at The Museum! Holy Macaroni! Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt!" Oscar retorted.
Lisa winced.
Bart was reading to Lisa Little Women. However for some stupid reason he was stupider than Ralph and couldn't even read the word genius.
"Genn I ous?"
"Genius..." Lisa corrected him.
"Is the highest form of pati, pah teh... Pa Ti?"
"Patience! Patience! Which I have very little of right now!" Lisa ranted.
"Gee! Keep your hair on!" Bart replied.
"God! Bart you are not that stupid! Read it properly! This retcon just for status quo is idiotic! You can be very smart when you want to!" Lisa ranted.
"Hey! I have a reputation as the cool kid to uphold! I can't be reading!" Bart insisted.
Oscar sighed.
Bart sighed and read the book properly.
Hold on. Let me get tucked in and comfy with Madame Bunny." said Lisa.
Bart winced because she called Bongo from Life in Hell, Madame Bunny.
"Lis, he's not called Madame bunny... His name is Bongo..." Bart sighed.
"I'm calling my plushie of him Madame Bunny!" Lisa insisted sharply.
Bart seethed and squeezed the bridge of his nose agitated.
"Hey Toots! My name is Bongo!" said Bongo from Life In Hell comics.
Lisa frowned.
"Are there any midget ladies in this book..." Oscar asked.
"No Oz... Just as To Kill a Mockingbird is not about killing mockingbirds..." Lisa sighed.
Bart winced at Oscar.
...
Back at Homer's office. Robert drinks glasses of whiskey. American Whisky has an E in it.
"No really why are you still here Robert?" Homer asked.
"Adjustment Bureau..." Oscar rasped.
Homer threw a paperweight at Oscar, concussing him.
"Oof!" Oscar grunted.
"Hey, you're a baby account man. Still on the bottle." said Robert Marlowe.
Homer was suddenly wearing just a diaper and a baby bonnet.
"I want my Daa-daa.." he whined. A studio audience laughed.
"Yeah that was what was running through my mind when you said that..." said Oscar grinning like a cheshire cat.
Robert sighed.
"So, for my last good deed before I retire, I'm going to help you persuade Mayor Quimby to sign off on a nuclear rate hike." said Robert.
"Uh-oh, a meeting with the mayor." Homer gulped. "How do I prepare for that?"
"Oh that's easy Homer. You see Quimby is illiterate and corrupt. He takes bribes... sweeten him with a nice bribe and bam! No more nuclear tax hikes!" said Robert.
Also it involves getting Homer really drunk on whiskey so he isn't worrying about this meeting with the mayor.
Homer drops and breaks the bottle.
"Aw. Bourbon go bye-bye..." He moaned.
Oscar laughed.
Plot 3
Homer, Robert and the mayor go out for lunch at a steak restaurant called The Loin King.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Homer sighed.
"Simba... this is the Circle of Beef..." Oscar said in Mufasa's voice.
Homer face palmed.
They sit down to eat.
"Wow, I can't believe I'm eating steak with the mayor. The next time, I vote for you, it's gonna be on purpose."
"Much obliged." said Mayor Quimby.
"And not a vote of apathy over our first past the post system by picking the lesser evil to keep Sideshow Bob out of the Mayor's office..." said Homer.
"Now, uh, where would you like to discuss your proposed tax breaks?" Mayor Quimby asked.
They laugh and clink glasses of whiskey.
Homer eats some steak.
Lenny and Carl knock at the window.
"Hey, Homer!"
"Look at you, man!" They're annoyed he no longer associates with them at work.
"I've outgrown you!" Homer shoos them away.
"Oh, Mr. Mayor, more peanut nore?" Homer asked Mayor Quimby.
Carl knocks on the window.
Lenny and Carl are glaring at Homer because he is snubbing them.
Homer dips his finger in the peanut sauce and draws smiling faces on the glass over Lenny and Carl's faces.
They look away with faces frozen in permanent smiles.
"This is really weird..." said Carl through his frozen grin.
"My face hurts..." said Lenny.
Homer cheers and clinks glasses with the mayor and Robert Marlowe.
"I once tried to eat a really big steak once. Not here, at another steakhouse." said Homer.
"Homer you are very resourceful!" Mayor Quimby said delighted.
...
Homer and Robert Marlowe then take the Mayor to a sports game, possibly ice hockey. To sweeten his mood so he'll give a tax break.
They were let in at VIP without being punched in the gut.
Everyone else got punched by security.
In VIP Homer was offered aftershaves and perfumes.
He wanted to stink like whale blowhole again.
Everyone groaned in disgust.
"So rank! Ugh!"
And Tabitha Vixx was seen topless from behind. Ie we see her bare back...
Back at COBRA lair.
"We've got to censor television!" Yelled Cobra Commander. Yes I referenced a Family Guy joke that insinuated COBRA from G.I Joe runs the FCC...
Destro sighed. "Sir it is just a view of someone's back... The courts will throw out our case..."
"Bah!" said Cobra Commander.
Homer, Robert and Mayor Quimby get nice seats.
"Say comfy chairs..." said the Eleventh Doctor. No...
"Wow... these seats are great!" said Homer.
"Yeah. And if you don't like the score you can change it." said Robert.
He gives Springfield's team an extra point.
"Boring..." Homer sighed.
Robert gives the home team more points.
Other executives of other companies were in VIP boxes.
Try N Save were in one box.
"Okay people, the game can wait for a moment. We have to talk serious... Shoplifting incidents have gone up and up ever since our finest security guard Don Brodka was murdered. And this has cut into our profits..." said the CEO of Try-N-Save.
"Oh heavens!" said the posh dowager at Mr Burns's dinner party who's daughter was rudely insulted by Larry Burns, was there.
I don't know why she's part of Try-N-Save. Maybe she's a shareholder...
The board members mumbled concerned. Their only good security guard was Brodka. And now he's dead. Oscar murdered him in season 7 to help Bart steal a video game.
Homer sweetened the Mayor's mood and convinced him to give Mr Burns a tax break.
...
Homer's new office.
Homer and Robert celebrate getting the company a tax break with more whiskey...
"I can't believe that was work!" said Homer.
"I can't believe you ditched us!" Carl snarled. Standing at the doors to Homer's lounge outside his work area.
"I can't believe it's not butter!" Oscar yelled delighted and chuckled. He is a very, very strange little boy...
Homer winced.
"Yeah, but work is over now." said Robert as he chills on the office couch.
"Want to drink with me till I fall asleep?" Robert asked.
"Oh, well..." Homer ponders.
There is a picture of Marge and the kids on his desk. "Mm, I really should look at this picture a little longer." Homer looks at the picture of his family.
"Hmm. Okay, let's go." They both drink whiskey.
"Great. Now, in honor of my last day on the hamster wheel, I have a little gift for you." said Robert.
"Hehehehe... I have got to work out a scene of Nibbles the school hamster saying that..." Oscar chuckled.
Homer sighed.
Robert got out a set of cocktail glasses and a cocktail shaker.
"This set of bar tools has been passed down from account man to account man since the dawn of history." said Robert.
"1956." He added.
"The dawn of time itself was trillions of years ago... when the big bang happened..." Oscar muttered.
Homer threw another paperweight at him. This one missed.
"Can you be my dad?" Homer asked Robert.
"If your mom was a secretary in the 1950s, there's a good chance I am." said Robert.
Abe glared at Homer.
"Homer I'm your father! And that's that!" Abe Simpson snapped.
"How did he get past security..." Robert asked.
Oscar shrugged.
...
Homer drives home and crashes into the front of the house, collapsing and shattering the bay window and its wall.
"Nice going rummy... Shoulda got a taxi..." said Oscar.
"Shaddup..." Homer stumbled in.
"Homer were you drinking at work again?!" Marge sighed.
"1950s accountants drink whiskey..." Homer slurred as he stumbled about.
"Homer you don't need to have a few just because Robert is..." Marge nagged.
"Also tubby drove home under the influence..." said Oscar.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
Homer sighed annoyed at being told off.
"But it is nice that you're an executive now..." Marge sighed.
"It's a rat race, but it looks like I won." Homer chuckled.
"Enough of the rodent analogies... Or I shall turn you into a rodent!" Oscar snapped.
Marge sighed skightly vexed at Oscar.
"I remember when Sonic was voiced by Urkel..." said Oscar. Yes this is true...
Marge sighed and sent him up to bed as it was very late.
"Dad, you were supposed to read me a bedtime story." Lisa whined when Dad came up. Lisa was in her nighty holding her chosen bedtime story book.
"Oh, sorry, sweetie. Bart can read it to you." said Homer dizzy from drinking.
Bart frowned in disbelief. He hates reading.
(Homer and Hugo laugh)
"You two shouldn't laugh at Bart. I'm sure he can read if he tries..." said Marge.
"Yeah but he won't. He hates using his brain..." said Hugo.
"Read to Lisa? Why don't you just ask me to kiss her?" Bart grimaced.
Lisa made a grossed out face. Ie silently retching.
"If you kissed her, that would be lovely." said Homer. Uh...
"I'll read! I'll read!" Bart yelled quickly.
"And kiss." said Homer squinting, as if he insisted Bart kiss Lisa goodnight.
"No Dad..." Bart frowned.
"Kiss..." Homer insisted.
"No!" Bart yelled.
"Don't I get a say in this?" Lisa whined.
"Sweetie Daddy is too drunk to read to you. But this time he is not drunk from Uncle Moe's. He is drunk from work."
Lisa sighed.
...
Homer felt woozy while Bart frowning skimmed through Lisa's Nancy Drew book, confounded by it as he is a moron and doesn't pay attention in class.
"Dad..." Lisa whined.
"Please, Lisa. I had 18 martinis today." Homer groaned.
Oscar and Hugo gawk at him concerned by the amount of alcohol he consumed in one day.
"How are you even still alive right now?!" Oscar was baffled.
"Yeah, that's way over the fatal amount alcohol consumed in 24 hours to cause acute alcohol poisoning..." said Hugo.
"Well I'm the main character, I have plot armour..." said Homer.
Hugo face palmed. "That is the stupidest thing ever and I think our creator should now release his IP to public domain so a professional can stick to at least semi-realistic outcomes to your antics..."
Homer scoffed.
"Look I run this show! Well this fan fiction... If I say you die, you die!" Oscar snapped.
Everyone gawked at him.
"I have to read my thesaurus to continue to enunciate in an abstruse manner..." said Hugo.
Oscar winced at him.
"Look I just want someone to read to me my bedtime story..." Lisa whined.
"I'll read to you sweetie..." said Marge.
Bart sighed relieved and went to his room.
"Bart I am gonna teach you to read! And you're gonna enjoy it!" Lisa yelled.
"Nope! Gonna get a job that never involves reading! Like frying French fries at Krusty Burger!" Bart replied as he headed to his room."
Marge mumbled. "Hrrrrrrrrmmmmm..."
"By the way, what is with the Mr Teeny plushies everyone has?" Oscar asked.
"I'm going to bed..." said Homer.
"No you're going to dead... You had 18 alcoholic drinks in one day..." Oscar seethed.
Lisa sighed.
Oscar went to his room.
"Oz why in blazes are the Nazgul now riding giant pelicans?!" Hugo yelled from the attic.
Oscar laughed.
...
Homer gets a red train to work.
"The parking lot of the plant is on the other side of a wire fence behind our house..." said Oscar.
Homer dressed for work in a 1950s style sighed.
Oscar gawked baffled at all the 1950s dressed people heading to work.
At Springfield Station.
Homer got in some 1950s guy's white car.
The wife was confused.
"Eh... close enough..." said Homer.
The white car drives off without the intended passenger. A 1950s office guy with grey hair and glasses.
Homer drinks in a new bar. He is drinking whiskey.
He signs papers with important wealthy wall street guys to sign up for contracts to make the Power Plant money.
Homer sighs as he is depressed.
Homer's Accountant office, with the bowling alley.
Homer bowls. Even the bowling doesn't cheer him up.
"Can I get you something?" Robert Marlowe is pouring himself a drink.
"Pour me an Old Fashioned, pal." said Homer depressed.
"Okay Homer pal but hey smile! Last week you wanted me to be your daddy. Now you're feeling blue..."
"I dunno, this job is making me feel numb... I should be happy I got promoted..." said Homer.
Robert hands over his Old Fashioned. Homer gulps down the cocktail. Yet again how his his even harder life of office drinking not killing him...
"I dunno but everyone in Mad Men should be absolutely drunk at five..." said Oscar.
Home time. Everyone in Homer's floor of the executive building leaves work extremely inebriated and stumbling about.
"Peter Griffin is right. Mad Men needs lightsabers..." said Oscar drunk. Yeah he got drunk too...
Homer then continues his montage of antics at work. He drove a green John Dear lawn mower through the office...
"Cooooool!" Oscar cooed.
However Homer's mower lacerated Smither's leg. Blood sprayed everywhere.
Oscar laughed.
Plot 4