Chapter 20: Unexpected
Three years later, Cody and Lizzie are well settled in Tahoe. They live in an apartment very close to Jesse. They could just walk over. It was a comfort to Cody on the nights he is on call and had to stay at the ranger station. Lizzie is busy with the bee hives she has established and Cody working with the rangers. Lizzie worked with the National Forest Service on a bee hive program where they help trained residents in setting up their own bee hives. Lizzie and Cody have been trying to have a baby for three years with no luck. Lizzie got pregnant once, but then miscarried. They were both tested, and they found that Lizzie had endometriosis. She had surgery to remove what they could, but said they probably still need assistance. They have recently did IVF and it failed. The inability to have a baby was taking a toll on their marriage. Lizzie was getting depressed and turning inward.
Jesse's health was badly declining, which had not helped things. Jesse gave Lizzie and Cody the title to his cabin. Cody and Lizzie told Matt and Robin they could go up there any time. Matt and Robin were okay with the arrangement as it is where Cody grew up.
Matt and Robin just bought a house near the ranger station. Matt was offered a new job as the Director of the Western Region of Search and Rescue. He agreed to the transfer as long as he could stay in Tahoe, and they agreed. Lizzie was able to set up new bee hives near the edge of the property. She would teach the kids the ins and outs of bee keeping.
Cody came home and the apartment was empty and dark. There was no message from Lizzie. Generally, if she went out, she would leave him a note and mention something he could have for dinner. He checked the refrigerator and did not see anything. He found some leftovers, heated them up and ate them. He wondered where Lizzie was. So, he walked over to his dad's place. Cody walks into the apartment. "Hi, dad. Have you seen Lizzie?" Cody asked.
Jesse was heating up his dinner and walking with a walker back to the living room to his chair. He was moving very slowly, "Not since this morning. She left you a note."
"Where is it?" Cody asked.
"Before I give it to you, we need to talk," Jesse said.
"Son your wife is hurting. I know you have been trying to have a baby. Lizzie told me before you ever moved back to Tahoe. It has been three years. She told me once she was pregnant. I think she was so excited and then a month later she miscarried. This morning, she seemed more sad than normal. You need to be there for your wife, focus on her. Maybe take a trip away," Jesse said.
"We just did a round of IVF and the implantation did not take. We had a follow up appointment yesterday to see if we could try again. The whole process was very hard on her physically and not to mention emotionally. The Doctor said it was not a good idea for us to continue." Cody's eyes have teared up.
"She probably feels like she has failed you. Not being able to give you the one thing you have both really wanted. How much time have the two of you spent together?" Jesse said.
"We have not seen much of each other. Our jobs have been on different schedules plus the bee hives, ranger station, search for new commander, helping Matt and Robin move and fix up their place. Now the new commander has started, and we are all picking up extra duties to get him settled and establish a relationship with him." Cody said.
"So, looks like you been avoiding Lizzie. I think you need to focus on your wife for a while, before you lose her," Jesse suggested.
"I am not going to lose her. I love her and she loves me. Kids or no kids I will always love her. Yes, I want kids and disappointed it is not happening, but I do not want life where she is not with me," Cody said.
"You need to tell her that and cherish her in every way. If you need to step back from the ranger station, then step back. She is more important than any job," Jesse said. "I had a great love once, your mom. I was so busy with what I wanted and my career, I did not pay attention to my wife's feelings, and I lost her. You lost your mom. A relationship we both can say never recovered."
"Lizzie is not mom. We both love the outdoors, she loves it here, she has her own identity and interests," Cody said. Jesse hands Cody the letter.
"Dear Cody,
Sorry for writing this letter and leaving it with your dad. I need a break for a while. I just need to be alone to think about what I want next. I am so sorry I cannot give you the family we both want. Cody, I love you so much, but I don't want to keep disappointing you. The look on your face, I know you are disappointed. I don't want to keep fighting with you. Maybe some time a part will help us both decide what we both want. If we want to stay together or move on. Cody, I don't say these words lightly.
Cody, I love you and that has not changed. I just need time.
Love always with all my heart.
Lizzie"
"Cody, what is it?" Jesse said out of concern. Cody had tears running down his face. He handed his dad the note.
"She is leaving me. How did this happen?" Cody sat down on the coach.
"Wow, it is worse than I thought," Jesse said. "Any idea where she would go?"
"I… I… don't know." Cody started to panic. "I don't want to lose her."
"Find her, talk to her, cherish her," Jesse said "Take her away for a bit. Get away."
"Dad I can't leave; the new commander has just started. What if you need us." Cody said.
"Commanders come and go. It is a job and not your life. And I don't want to be the reason your marriage falls apart. I know I don't have much time left. I don't want to go not knowing the two of you will be okay." Jesse said. "The two of you are perfect for each other. But you should think about the possibility of never being a father with her and if you are okay with it. Or maybe look into adoption or something."
"I don't want to lose her dad," Cody said.
"I am guessing she is at the cabin. She mentioned checking on the hives," Jesse said.
"Dad, thank you," Cody got up and gave his dad a hug. "You always have the best advice. Dad, I love you, you know that right?"
"I love you too son. And it is a bit late to go up to the cabin. Go first thing in the morning," Jesse suggested.
"I guess you are right. I hate the thought of her up there alone. I wish we had a road to the cabin. If we did, I would just drive up there tonight," Cody said.
"Then build one. Talk to the McCormick's and see if you can make a deal with them," Jesse said.
"Do you need help getting ready for bed?" Cody asked.
"That would be great son," Jesse said. Cody got up and helped his dad get ready for bed.
"Would you like me to give you a hand tomorrow before I head up to the cabin?" Cody asked.
"No son, I have already arranged for Robin to come," Jesse gave Cody a hug good bye.
First thing the next morning Cody went up to the cabin on his horse. He got off his horse and noticed Lizzie's horse was in the barn. He ran into the cabin. "Lizzie! Lizzie!"
He went into the master bedroom and found she was there in bed. "Lizzie, I am so sorry." Lizzie rolled over and he could see she was crying. He crawled into bed with her and just held her. "I am sorry Lizzie. I hope you know I love you more than anything. Sorry I have not been there for you and not giving you what you need. Guess I grieve more by pulling away from you than being there for you. Sorry for pushing you away and starting fights with you for no reason. Please don't leave me. I love you. I would rather be with you with no kids, than with someone else and a whole slew of kids. When we got married, we said in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part. I will love you until the day I die, and I want nothing more than to be your husband every day until then."
"Are you sure Cody, it does not look like kids are in the cards for me," Lizzie said with tears. "I don't want you down the road to resent me for denying you the opportunity to be a father."
"Lizzie, I am sure. I was talking to my dad last night after I read the note. I want nothing more than to be with you, to have you by my side. Even if it is just the two of us. We just have to be super close to Jasper and Kelly, so they take care of us in our old age." Lizzie just laughed a bit.
"Cody, I have been thinking too. I need a break from thinking about kids, I know adoption is not an easy process either. I just want to focus on us for a while and take care of your dad," Lizzie said.
"Okay, except one thing. My dad said we should take a trip away to refocus on us."
"I think we have the perfect oasis right here," Lizzie said.
"I was talking to dad last night. I think we should see if we can build at least a dirt road up here," Cody said. "I would have to talk to the McCormick family to see if they would be okay with me doing it or purchasing the land from them or see if they will give us access. Some of it is already our property. Then we could drive here when ever needed. I would feel better about you driving up here by yourself then going up here by yourself on your horse. I was worried about you all last night. I did not sleep much at all. I tried to reach you on the radio on and off all night and nothing."
"I guess it was not the smartest decision to go up here by myself and not tell anyone or radio in," Lizzie said.
"I could not bear It if anything bad happened to you," Cody said.
Six months passed and the road path was complete. Cody with the help of Matt, a couple of the rangers and the McCormick family worked on clearing the nearly two mile stretch of road. The road was clear enough to drive on. Cody and Matt brought Jesse up to the cabin. He had not been up there in years. They had him in a wheelchair to get him around. Robin, Lizzie and the kids came up for the day. They knew Jesse's time was drawing near and they did not want the kids there when he did pass if he did not make the weekend.
"Wow this place is a sight for sore eyes." They took Jesse down to the water. "I so loved fishing here."
"Dad, I think we have some time for fishing. Should we see if we can catch some for dinner." Cody said.
"Sounds good son," Jesse said.
Matt, Cody, Jesse, and the kids all went fishing. Kids would alternate sitting on Jesse's lap, fishing with their dad or with Uncle Cody. Lizzie was taking pictures with her new digital camera to preserve some of the memories. Robin had the video camera out as well to capture the kid's interactions with Jesse.
After enough fish were caught for lunch, it was prepared. Jesse's food had to be pureed as he was having issues swallowing his food. "I want to thank you all for your months of hard work and getting me back to the mountains I loved one last time. I want you all to know how much I have loved every one of you. My two grandkids, Kelly, and Jasper. I love your innocence, your joy, your energy. I am so honor you call me Grandpa."
"We love you Grandpa," both kids went up to Jesse and hugged him and he hugged them back and kissed them goodbye as it would be the last time, they see him.
"My two beautiful daughters-in-law. If I had to choose the women for my sons. I could not have chosen better women for them. You have both gone above and beyond the call of duty to care for this dyeing and feeble man. I love you both as if you were my daughters." Jesse said. They both went to Jesse hugged and kissed him.
It was time for Robin, Lizzie, and the kids to leave. They said their final goodbyes to Jesse. And headed back to Tahoe. Lizzie would spend the night with Robin and the kids, so they could be together.
"Boys, I couldn't be any prouder of you, the men you have become. I know you both have your struggles in life and things have not always been easy. But I want you both to know I love you both beyond words. I pray that Kelly and Jasper will grow as the kind of adults you have become. Cody, I pray that you and Lizzie will have kids some day and they too will become like the men you are today."
"Dad, I love you," Matt hugged his father.
"I know son, now I think it is time for me to retire can you help me." Jesse said. The boys helped their father get ready for bed.
Cody stayed behind, "Dad I want to thank you for the life you have given me. Fighting to raise me out in these mountains. Teaching me everything about the land and the world around me. Also, for the advice you gave me when it came to my marriage. The last six months Lizzie and I have really connected. Things are more like they were when we first got married. Things could not be better between us. We have been taking a break from the kids for now. We are not preventing anything from happening if it happens naturally, but we are not expecting it either. We are more content and enjoying each other again. Thank you. I love you dad more and I will miss you so much." Cody hugged his dad and cried in his arms.
The boys slept in their childhood bedrooms. Sometime during the evening Jesse Hawkes took his last breath in his sleep in the cabin he built in the mountain he loved so very much. Cody and Matt woke up and they went to check on their dad and found that he had passed. The two boys embraced and made the call over the radio. The rangers got hold of Robin and Lizzie and gave them the news.
The rangers met the hurst at the funeral home to salute their founder and former commander. Robin, Lizzie and the kids were there as well.
The funeral was a few days later. Many rangers from the past came out to honor Jesse. Jackie and her husband Pete along with Lizzie's family also came out for the service. Many of the rangers spoke of their memories with Jesse. Both Matt and Cody spoke, Cody had a much harder time, Lizzie came up and joined him to give him her support.
After the burial everyone gathered at the ranger station for a meal.
Jackie was talking to Lizzie's parents. "Cody and Lizzie are not getting any younger. I would have thought by now they would have made us grandparents. I wait and wait and nothing," Jackie said.
"They have been trying for years. They had a miscarriage, they tried Intrauterine insemination, and IVF. IVF was too hard on Lizzie's body that after first round the doctor said she should no longer try IVF. They have decided to take a break for now."
"I had no idea. Cody never tells me anything," Jackie said.
"It took a toll on their marriage; I know I had talked to Lizzie many nights where she was just crying. They had to have a long talk about kids and whether they wanted to stay together or not. I think Jesse helped Cody a lot with that and understanding her feelings. Things are much better between them. Better than it has been for a few years." Lizzie's mom said.
"Sons, they never communicate anything." Jackie said and walked away.
A year and half after Jesse's death, Cody and Lizzie had been busy updating the cabin. Besides the road. They have added solar panels, so they have a better source of electricity. They are spending more and more time out there. Cody has been able to do some ranger work from the cabin. Cody was a first responder as he could arrive in situations before the rest of the team. He could spend a week up there at a time and then a week back in Tahoe. They had gotten internet up at the cabin, so they were both able to work up there. Cody was in the beginning stages of working on a youth program for troubled teenagers. Something they were hoping to have the next summer. Kelly and Jasper had just spent a week up there with Cody and Lizzie. They came about once a month during the summer and the kids loved it and so did Cody and Lizzie. They dropped them off at Matt and Robins place.
"Did you guys have a good time with Uncle Cody and Aunt Lizzie?" Robin asked.
"It was the best time; we went fishing and horseback riding. We helped Uncle Cody work, and we went to the bee hives," Kelly said.
"You helped Uncle Cody work?" Robin asked.
"Yep," Jasper said, "I rescued someone."
"You rescued someone?" Robin asked.
"No, Uncle Cody rescued someone," Kelly said. "We watched him with Auntie Lizzie."
"We went to Aaron Bas's Lodge," Cody said.
"How does everything look?" Matt asked.
"Pretty much the same. That barn needs to come down, that was where the man was trapped. If it is not down by the time the youth program starts, I was thinking might be a good project for the teens. Does Jennifer still own it? Have you heard from her?" Cody asked. "Of course, it would be better if it would come down sooner."
"Last I checked Aaron's estate was still paying the taxes, but she has never been back or at least that I am aware," Matt said.
"Excuse me," Lizzie went running to the bathroom. They could hear her throwing up.
"Auntie Lizzie been doing that a lot the last few days," Kelly said.
"Is she okay?" Robin asked.
"She has some bug or something, seems to be on and off all day," Cody said.
"I am going to check on her," Robin said. She went to the bathroom and knocked on the door. Lizzie, can I come in."
"Yeah," Lizzie said. "I am not sure what is wrong. I feel fine most of the time. And sick for a bit."
"Could you be pregnant?" Robin asked.
"After all this time?" Lizzie asked.
"Take this home with you," Robin handed Lizzie a pregnancy test. "We don't need it anymore,"
"Are you?" Lizzie asked.
"Yes, about two months. We have not told the kids yet. We thought we would wait another month," Robin said.
"I won't say anything. Thank you for the test. I can't imagine I am pregnant after all this time. We've not done anything to prevent it, but we have been trying for years and nothing." Lizzie said.
"Take the test and let me know. We were really not trying, and it just happened," Robin said.
Lizzie went home and took the test; she hid it from Cody until the results came back. She did not want to get his hopes up, just to be disappointed again. Cody was talking about something, and Lizzie was not hearing a word.
"Earth to Lizzie," he waved his arm in front of her.
"What?" Lizzie asked.
"Is something wrong?" Cody asked.
The kitchen timer went off. Lizzie took a deep breath. "Robin gave me a pregnancy test to see if the reason I keep getting sick is morning sickness."
"Did you take the test?" Cody asked.
"Yes, that's what the timer is for," Lizzie said very nervously.
"Why did you tell me?" Cody asked.
"I was afraid to get your hopes up. Just to be disappointed again. I debated if I would even take it. It has been years and nothing," Lizzie said.
"Why don't be check it and we will know one way or another," Cody said. Lizzie went into the bathroom and got the test from where she hid it. She came out of the room very pale. "What does it say?"
"I am pregnant," Lizzie said. She held out the stick to him. "It's positive."
"It's positive, we're having a baby?" Cody picked Lizzie up and spun her around. "I am sorry, are you okay. I did not hurt the baby?"
"I am okay, just in shock," Lizzie answered.
"So, what is next?" Cody asked.
"So, I suppose I should make a call to the doctor's office and get it confirmed by them." Lizzie said.
Cody knelt before Lizzie. "Hi little one, I am your daddy and I hope you get big and strong. Your mom has a wonderful home for you there for the next seven, eight, or nine months. She will take good care of you," He then kissed her belly.
"Cody don't get your hopes up. You remember what happened last time. I was two months along and lost the baby. You were so disappointed," Lizzie said.
"If it happens again, I will deal with it," Cody said. "There is hope. Call the doctor and we will go from there."
Lizzie went to the doctor, and everything was good. By their estimation she was ten weeks along. She was further along than with her first pregnancy. Cody was over the moon with excitement. They were keeping it quiet until after the third trimester. But she said she had to tell Robin. She was also keeping Robin's secret.
"So, what did the test say?" Robin asked.
"When I took the test, Cody knew I was distracted by something. So, I had to tell him about it. The test was positive. I went to the doctor yesterday and they confirmed I was pregnant, and everything was looking good. I am about ten weeks along they think. Longer than my last pregnancy."
"You were pregnant before?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, about four years ago. We never fully stopped trying. We tried several things, and nothing worked. Last thing was a round of IVF and it did not take. Doctor said it was too hard on my body and recommended we not do it again." Lizzie said.
"Lizzie, I had no idea. We were surprised that you had not tried sooner. We thought maybe when you moved to Tahoe you would start trying." Robin said consoling her friend.
"That was the plan, we have been trying since we arrived. Jesse was a good ear to talk about it," Lizzie said.
"I have some news too. I had a miscarriage couple of days ago," Robin said. "Did you say anything to Cody?"
"Robin I am so sorry," Lizzie consoled her sister-in-law. "I have not said anything to Cody."
"Good, we had not said anything to anyone yet. You are the only person who knew." Robin said. "We were not planning on expanding our family, but when I realized I was pregnant. We were so excited. I am sad and disappointed now and would like to have another. We are going to try again once I am in the clear. But Lizzie, I don't want to diminish your excitement. Especially now that I know you went through so much to get here. I pray goes well for you. I have my two beautiful angels. I hope the same for you.
"It would have been fun to go through this together and to raise our babies together. I hope we will still have a chance," Lizzie said.