Private Life
by Castlefan6
Authors Note AU: Beckett and Castle have reached their first If Only moment, which forces Rick to leave the precinct. The episodes Cops and Robbers and To Live and Die in LA have been rearranged to suit this Timeline; please go with it.
I am taking a Literary License to fill in the blanks.
I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement, except the ones I create.
This is COMPLETELY AU and May or May Not Wind Up with a Caskett Ending.
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Chapter 8
Hidden Hills, California,
Later Same Day
Rick knew how Beckett would probably take the news about Gage. Somehow, she had the misguided thought that this case, as well as her mother's, belonged to her and her exclusively. He wasn't concerned about that. Gage was part of Operation Birds Eye, and the quicker he got his and Maddie's responsibilities taken care of out here, the quicker they could go home.
He opened the door to see Maddie waiting for him, looking as beautiful as ever; she quietly took his hand, kissed him hello, and led them to the privacy of their suite. There, she had a hot bath drawn, and his three fingers of malt liquor poured as she silently kissed him, hugging him a little tighter than usual.
He tilted her face to see the tears pooling in her eyes. "Hey, none of these; I'm home, safe, and sound like I promised," he said softly, kissing each eye and then her soft lips.
"I know, Rick, and I do my best not to worry about you, but hell, I love you, and I'm afraid every time you are away from me. I know I can't stop it if something were to happen, but if I were with you, well"
"Hey, none of that. Maddie, we both know the score. We've been lucky to work together as much as we have, and it's time I truly treasure. By the way how did the Detective take the news about her suspect?" Rick asked,
"You really want to know, or do you know already? You would be right if you guessed; she was upset and felt cheated out of solving a case for someone she loved," Maddie said with disgust in her voice, shaking her head.
"I told her she should be thankful that Royce's case didn't wind up in the cold case files of both LAPD and NYPD; at least she got closure from that," Maddie added.
"I figured as much, Maddie, it's just her style; she has to do it her way, on her time, and where she got the idea that she had the resources to solve crimes like these, I'll never know. I told Roy she's going to get either herself or someone near her killed with her Cowboy routine," Rick said,
He was being led into the bathroom as he finished speaking. Maddie didn't have to invite him twice to join her in the oversized tub. It was the start of a beautiful evening.
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Two Months Later
New York
Beckett stayed out of sight during her remaining time in Los Angeles and took the direct flight from Ontario, California, to JFK without saying another word. She had written a gracious thank-you note to Maddie and Rick for their hospitality and left a personal check for her plane fare payable to Maddie. She also thanked Rick for his part in bringing Royce's killer to justice without mentioning anything that she had said to Maddie the night it happened.
It was one of the most challenging letters she ever had to write, knowing that Maddie wouldn't be the only one to read it. How did she say she had feelings for the writer without coming out and stating the obvious? Maddie had already busted her for him being both her and her mother's favorite writer.
FLASHBACK
She started as honestly as she could, knowing Maddie could and would see through any Bull Crap she tried to pass off. It was extremely difficult being in the same home, so many miles from New York, yet so close to the writer, it wasn't supposed to be like this. She never thought for a moment that she would be envious of Maddie over a man, any man, yet here she was.
"Dear Maddie,
"First, please thank Rick and accept my sincere gratitude for putting me up for my stay in Los Angeles, I'm sure it wasn't what either of us ever expected. I also appreciate you booking the flight from the alternative airport and having your drivers transport me to the airport. I've left a check to reimburse you for the airfare and what I thought would be a reasonable amount for the drivers. If I owe you anything more, please let me know, and I'll send you a check.
"I know I upset you in our discussion, which is one of the reasons I didn't try to pursue our conversation any further. I'm sorry I upset you by assuming things about Rick that hurt you, things that were totally incorrect and easily verified, had I taken the time or effort to do so.
"I know that as close as you and Rick are, you will share this with him, please do. I owe you both a sincere apology. I had asked Rick for a face-to-face meeting before I realized the dynamics of your relationship, I thought better of that idea once I knew how much you care about each other.
"I promised you that, as your friend, I would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and even though it wouldn't have meant anything to him, I decided to apologize to you both by this letter and return to New York to allow you to build your future without any more interference.
"I am genuinely sorry for hurting him, I know I did, and as you said, the lies were the biggest deceit. No one deserves to hear anything but the truth, and I am sorry I thought I needed to lie to him. I'm also sorry that by hurting Rick, you felt his pain and anger.
"I can only imagine his thoughts when he found out I was the problem coming in from New York to mess up the LAPD case to solve Mile Royce's murder. I owe him my eternal thanks for one more thing, and I know Mike would have approved. I would have made a mess of the case if left it to my feeble plan.
"Please pass along my thanks to him for his help on this case and all of the cases he was so instrumental in solving, there were many more than I ever wanted to admit. I know it's far too little and much too late, but I am thankful for his help.
"I don't know how long either of you will be here in Los Angeles, well, Hidden Hills, but please remember to call me when you return to New York and have time to do lunch. I was serious about taking your friendship seriously, and I hope you feel the same,
"Till Then, Stay safe,
"Always,
"Kate."
CURRENT TIME
She knew that her friendship with Maddie was fragile at best, and until she started to change her behavior, she shouldn't expect to be on either her or Castle's Christmas Card list. She had been meeting with Dr. Burke weekly, and although progress was being made, it was very slow. He wasn't sympathetic; instead, he called her out on her shortcomings as a friend, boss, and employee.
One task she had been assigned to do daily was journaling not only the events of the day but also her feelings as she was going through them. It didn't sound like a big deal when he first assigned it to her, but after getting reprimanded more than once for half-hearted attempts at trying to catch up with a week's activities shortly before her appointment, she had changed her mind.
His words from their last session still burned her ears when she thought back, "Detective, you're wasting my time and your money and using the time I could use to help someone who really wants it." As he peered over her half-ass attempt at capturing the previous weeks' activities, a pitiful display even she had to admit.
She promised to take her journal more seriously and began to record daily events as they happened, even if only in a few lines. Each night, she would formalize them into the journal and expand on her thoughts as she often thought of two people in California and what they were doing tonight.
She knew she had pushed Burke about as far as she dared; she was getting more questions than answers, but he promised her that therapy was a process, not instant relief.
Roy calmed down tremendously once he knew he wouldn't be losing any funding and had a few heart-to-heart talks with Rick. It seemed that there was a deeper connection between the two, as well as his honor as mayor. Things were better at work BUT not the same, and she doubted they ever would be.
She knew that she had enjoyed preferential treatment from her captain since she assumed the lead detective role, but those days were gone. Now, she was just another employee and held to the same standards as the rest of Roy's employees. She didn't know what or who changed Roy's perception of her, but she had her suspicions.
Castle's timing in working on some cases with them coincided with her change of preferred status. She refused to blame him, not without proof. She had learned her lesson about that, and Maddie had made sure of it.
She hadn't heard from her since last week; they had been exchanging texts at least weekly when she said she and Rick would be busy for a few weeks, and she'd let her know when she was back.
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Hidden Hills, California,
Later Same Day of Beckett's Departure
Maddie was shocked when Kate retreated to her quarters and did not approach her or Rick for the remainder of her stay. They had spoken only twice, both times like courteous strangers, not former or current BFFs.
The morning, she left to return to New York, Rosa brought a letter from her. It was addressed to both her and Rick, so she decided to hold it until Rick came down for his morning coffee. She had to go into the office to finalize some paperwork, but unless something drastic occurred, they would finally be allowed to return to New York in about two months.
"Good Morning, Sweetie. Did our guest get out of the house on time to make her flight?" Rick asked as he leaned in and kissed her sweetly,
"She was out of here without making a sound, but Rosa found this addressed to us both." She said, showing him her letter briefly before returning the kiss with just a little more tongue than he had given,
"What did she have to say?" Rick smiled as he waggled his eyebrows. He loved it when she was the aggressor in kisses.
"I was waiting for you to read it, I mean, I'm sure you're the main reason she wrote it at all," Maddie said,
"I don't know about that, Maddie, you guys were once best friends," he said,
"Yeah, besties that didn't speak for years because of a boy in high school and her hurt pride," Maddie spit out, a little more bitterly than she intended.
"I'm sorry, Rick, it's just that when she showed up this time, I drew the line in the sand. Friends or not, I know she has the hots for you, and I wasn't about to stand by and let her do her casual flirting with you, not this time, I mean, I don't own you, and we're" She was interrupted with his lips gently kissing her,
"Hey, I'm here. I would never do anything that would hurt you, especially with one of your sometime friends," he said as he smiled and wiped her eyes. Tears had pooled without her knowing it.
"I'm sorry, Rick, I mean, you and I are."
"You and I are a couple, not defined by formal definition but by the promise that we would talk to the other before we ever acted on any impulse. We're just as much a couple as Ross and Rachel on Friends when they weren't on a break," he laughed as she threw her napkin at him.
"Why don't we get our coffee and go to the Veranda and read what she had to say? That's the only way either of us will ever know," he laughed. "And I love it when you get jealous; it just means I'm not the only one jealous of my girl," he smiled. She kissed him again, feeling much better than she had just a moment ago.
They walked hand in hand to the veranda, and she climbed onto his lap as they opened the envelope and read the letter silently. "Well, she's consistent," Rick said.
"I know. Don't you want to know what I got upset with her about, sweetheart?" Maddie asked,
"I already do. You got hurt and angry when you knew she had hurt me; that tells me just how much you love me. I may not say it often, but I do see the little things you do, the special way you wear your hair, the slit in your skirts on my side so that I can gawk at those beautiful legs,"
Maddie blushed," Rick, just keep doing what you're doing; you don't have to say anything. I know how much you care about me. It's nice to hear that you still like looking at my legs and that you notice when I change my hairstyle. You know it's for one man." She kissed him gently, and neither wanted to pull away, finally breaking for air.
"I don't want to become boring for you, and I know you can have your choice."
She didn't finish her statement, "I choose you, only you." The kiss was even more passionate than the first one. Maddie thought to herself, shut up, and enjoy this while you can.
TWO WEEKS LATER
She loved the excitement of her job but often became frustrated by the strict rules and slow-moving arm of justice. Some days, it seemed like it barely crawled, much less moved rapidly. She knew Rick had wrapped his portion of the operation, and they were waiting for some players who had entered the game late to show their hands.
Maddie and Rick had continued their social and private lives, in private, but she couldn't complain about how romantic and how much attention he had paid to her, especially since Beckett had made her appearance.
She knew that this type of assignment didn't come along often. Usually, they were separated by hundreds, if not thousands of miles. That was the downside of this assignment ending, and she knew her chances of being housed with Rick for "Work" wouldn't happen again unless something crazy happened.
In all honesty, she could have brought her part to an end in two weeks, BUT she didn't want to give up what she had at home. She wasn't ready to lose the familiar routine, almost like man and wife; STOP that, she scolded herself.
Rick had always been honest with her, but he still wasn't ready to commit to anything more than monogamous friends with a hell of a benefit package. She knew he cared more about her than just a friend, but she also knew that if she pushed, it would be the end of what they had.
What they had may not be perfect or work for every couple, but she wasn't about to gamble and lose the only man who could make her happy both in and outside of their bedroom. Finally, the news she had been dreading came down. They would be returning to New York in three months when the movie wrapped up. Rick had surprised everyone and contributed substantially to the screen adaption of his latest best-selling novel.
Now, they would have to decide on living arrangements when they returned before she had her condo and he had the loft. Martha was on tour, and Alexis was living on campus, so it was really up to Rick. She could only hope he would want to continue some arrangement similar to what they were living now.
God, how had she fallen so deeply in love with this man, and how the hell would she survive if he wanted to go back to the old arrangement with each having their own home?
TBC
A/N: We are still not ruling out a Caskett Ending. There is still a lot of story to tell, so be patient. Health continues to improve, so keep Tom and S in your prayers. They need them now.