"How crazy is your metabolism?"

Peter glanced up from his book in the library.

"What?"

"I mean..."

Gwen paused, glancing around before leaning in, continuing in a lower tone.

"With, you know, everything you can do, your body must need A TON of nutrition, but I've never seen you eat more than the average college guy?"

"That's because I snack a lot at home or on the go," Peter replied. "You know, bananas, apples, granola bars, stuff like that."

"Ah, makes sense," Gwen replied before returning to her book. Peter could only let out a slight chuckle to himself; ever since his girlfriend had found out that he was Spider-Man a few days ago, she had had non-stop questions about anything and everything, but especially things pertaining to the biological nature of the matter. Still, despite her scientifically curious nature, she'd tended to show great restraint when they were out in public... mostly.

"I still can't believe you make your own... you know... the way you get around," she spoke up again. "How many trials and experiments did it take for you to even come up with it?"

"For the baseline stuff, just once," Peter replied. "I've made some variations for specific purposes over the years that took a few attempts though, some of them more... explosive than others."

"Wow!" Gwen replied. "I'm guessing when you were bitten, it must have downloaded you with the knowledge of how to make it."

"That's always been my hypothesis," Peter replied; he couldn't help but be grateful for how much of a science fanatic his girlfriend was. "It's the only thing that ever made any sense."

"I'm glad that it didn't just give you the ability to actually make it in your body," Gwen said.

"I mean, I wouldn't mind," Peter countered. "It would save me A LOT of money on the chemicals and stuff that it takes to make it."

"Yeah, but that would be so gross!" Gwen exclaimed.

"I guess it would be a little strange," Peter said, laughing. Honestly, he'd thought more like her at first, but after emptying his wallet so many times over the years on Spider-Man related stuff, ANYTHING would be worth saving a little money on his alter ego!

After a little while longer, they finally took their leave from the library, walking peacefully and contentedly along the campus. The two carried on basic conversation about several things as they went along, but through it all, Peter couldn't help but keep his gaze almost exclusively on Gwen, something his girlfriend seemed to pick up on.

"What?"

"I'm just so happy that you finally know," he replied. "Our whole relationship to this point, it was hard not to be a little on guard at times, always feeling like I had to be careful so I never slipped up and said something I shouldn't. I was always so worried about how you might react if you found out, but instead, you just reminded me why you're my favorite person on earth."

His girlfriend glanced down as she smiled, her cheeks turning a shade of red at the attention.

"Well, I'm glad that I know too," she finally replied, meeting his gaze once more. "It was hard to always feel like you were holding something back from me, but now... it's like, I still felt like I knew you before, but now, there are so many pieces that just make more sense. Knowing now that you're doing what you're doing out there only makes me appreciate you even more."

"It's just nice to finally feel completely comfortable and relaxed around someone for the first time in more than five years," Peter admitted. "Man, I can't believe I've spent a quarter of my life now like this!"

"Well, now you don't have to," Gwen assured him. "Listen, I promised my dad that we would sit down and have some proper daddy-daughter time that didn't involve me just hold up in my room working on end of semester projects, but before I go..."

Gwen then slid her backpack off, opening it and taking something out.

"I want you to have this, at least for a little while," she said, handing him a purple notebook of some kind.

"What is this?" Peter replied as he hesitantly took it.

"It's my journal, diary or whatever you want to call it," Gwen explained as she threw her backpack over her shoulder once more. "You've just been really opening up and sharing stuff you've never shared before with me the last couple of days, so I figured it was only fair for me to return the favor, and what better a way to get to know someone than to read their deepest thoughts?"

"I mean, talking in person has always worked pretty well for us," Peter assured her.

"Yeah," Gwen replied, her tone hesitant, "but... there's some stuff in there that I'm not sure I feel like I can say out loud yet, but I still want you to know. I bookmarked a few things, but you can read as much as you want."

"Alright," Peter said, "if you're sure."

"I'm sure," she replied. "I want you to really know me too."

She then leaned forward, giving him a gentle peck on the lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too," he replied, and soon, she was walking off, leaving him to glance down at the surprising gift he'd just received.

Slumping onto the side of his bed, Peter lowered his head in his hand, letting out a sigh into it. This evening's patrol had been the longest he'd had in a long time. It wasn't even that it involved anything that challenging, but rather that it seemed like, just as soon as he'd busted a robbery, a fire would happen, then someone was speeding down the road to get away from the cops, then something else, the idea repeating itself ad nauseum. It hadn't been until after 1:00 A.M. that Peter had even finally gotten home and, now that he'd had a hot shower, he was finally ready for bed.

Glancing off to the side in something of a daze, he saw where he'd placed Gwen's diary on the corner of his nightstand. Reaching over and taking it in his hand, he examined the surprisingly thick purple book, with several bookmarks just barely sticking out of different pages.

"Oh, why not?" he thought to himself. Part of him wanted nothing more than to just go to bed and wait until morning, but he was just curious enough about its contents to at least use it as some light reading before hitting the hay. Putting his feet up on the bed, he sat his pillow up and leaned against it on the wall, opening it to the first marked page and discovering there was a note written on the bookmark itself as well:

"Please don't judge me for this one; I was just a kid!"

Now more intrigued than ever, Peter's eyes went straight to the page.

"February 10th, 2013"

Gwen would have been no more than ten years old at the time.

"I hate science! It's stupid! I thought for sure that my homemade volcano was going to erupt, and everyone was going to love it in class, but what did it do? Nothing! All the kids laughed at me too! Mom says that sometimes these things happen and there's always next time, but she doesn't know how humiliating it was! I'm never doing another dumb science project ever again!"

Peter had to fight from breaking out into full on laughter as he finished the page. He had to admit that seeing his girlfriend as a pouty ten-year-old was NOT the first thing he'd expected to read, but it had already made staying up just a little bit later worth it. He decided to see the next day's entry, even though it wasn't marked, just to see if there was more where this had come from.

"February 11th, 2013

So, mom showed me today where my volcano went wrong. I still feel embarrassed, but she told me about how she failed once in front of a lot of people. She said it was hard for her too, but the important thing is that we don't give up on what we love because we had one bad experience. I don't know if I would say I 'love' science just yet, but maybe I will at least give it another try."

Well, it wasn't quite the same, but Peter did find it nice and heartwarming. Gwen had always talked very highly of her late mother, and this little entry only reinforced why that seemed to be. He then flipped through and scanned some pages, realizing that there were often several months between entries, which was why several years were likely able to be in here. Eventually, he came to the next marked entry, though the bookmark accompanying it had no note this time.

"October 17th, 2015

I'm so glad to finally be over that nasty stomach bug; I haven't been that sick in a long time. I feel bad for mom; she stayed up practically all night with me, taking out my 'puke bucket' any time I'd just freshly filled it, and disposing of its contents so it wouldn't nauseate me even more. She monitored my fever all night long and made sure I got some fluids so that I didn't get dehydrated and make things worse. In short, she made sure that I had everything I needed. Looking back on it, she's always been that way; she's always looked after dad and me, whether we were sick or just needed some cheering up, and she never thinks of herself.

Part of me wishes she would too; it could just have been me projecting onto her last night, but she didn't seem like she was feeling the best either. She's kind of been this way for the last month or so actually; her and dad keep saying there's nothing to worry about, but... I don't know. Something's going on with her, I just have no idea what it is."

"Hmm," Peter thought as he eyed the page curiously. He had a feeling that he knew where this was going. He turned to the next bookmarked page, which wasn't too far down.

"January 10th, 2017

Today, I learned that mom has stage 4 breast cancer. I don't know how I'm supposed to process this; the thought of it makes me unable to breathe. She and dad explained the treatment plan she was going on but admitted that the doctors think she has a fifty percent chance at best of making it. I appreciated that they didn't sugar coat it or give me false hope, but still, that was hard to hear.

I... I can't lose her."

Peter could see even all these years later why this entry was so short, not just due to its sad contents, but also because the bottom half or so of the page had been ruined by what was no doubt the water that had come from Gwen's tears. He was beginning to understand why Gwen had said there were some parts that she wasn't ready to share with him, but he turned to the next bookmarked page, now fully engrossed as if he were reading the latest adventure novel.

"July 1st, 2017

Mom's looking worse and worse. It's been over six months since this new treatment started, and at first, it seemed to be working. This whole week though, she's started looking a lot rougher; the doctors have supposedly told us that a little regression to the intensity of the treatment at this stage is expected, but I can't shake the bad feeling that I have about this.

The craziest part about all of this is that, even though she's under doctor's orders to stay in bed and get as much rest as she can, she's STILL getting up and trying to do things for dad and me, as if we couldn't take care of ourselves! We eventually managed to convince her that we had everything taken care of and got her back to rest, but she fought us the whole way. I had no idea she was so stubborn!

I went to see her later when she was feeling a little better, and she explained that she's always believed it was her duty as a wife and mother to serve and take care of us, not out of obligation or because we made her feel that way, but because she loved us and always wants to make sure we are taken care of so that we can be our best selves. She told me that she didn't want her illness to get in the way of that, even if she knows it's better for her to try and recover.

I told her that I really hope that I can be like her one day. She assured me that I already am, but... I don't know. If the same thing happened to me, I honestly don't know if I can say I would be so willing. I've been angry enough that this has happened to her; I can't imagine how I would be if it happened to me."

Without hesitation, Peter turned to the next bookmarked spot.

"July 21st, 2017

She's gone. Mom's gone. I've been sitting here for over an hour now trying to figure out how to organize my thoughts, but even after writing those words, it still doesn't feel real. It feels like I'm not even really here; I can barely breathe consistently, and I just feel so... lost. I don't know how I'm going to make it without her. Dad usually puts on a brave face today, but he cried today like I'd never seen him cry before. We shed so many tears together that I'm almost surprised that I still have any left, but here I am, still wiping my eyes every few seconds.

I hate that you're gone, mom. I hate that we're never going to be able to work on science projects together again. I hate that you're not going to be here anymore to show me how to make your favorite recipes. I hate that we'll never get to all go on picnics together in Central Park, or that we'll never go on any more trips together. It feels like cancer stole you from me; you were taken long before you were supposed to be. You were supposed to see me win as many science competitions as possible. You were supposed to see me graduate high school, go to college, fall in love and marry some goofy boy and have your grandkids with him. I still needed you for so much more.

But now you're gone, and none of that stuff even feels like it matters anymore."

At this point, Peter had to take a moment. Everything that Gwen had just described in this entry were things he'd felt before, almost to the letter. He was too young to fully understand what it had meant when he lost his parents, but when his Uncle Ben died, it felt almost as if his whole world had ended. He struggled to get back any interest in school, science, etc. Gwen had described some of these things to him during their big heart to heart in the library all that time ago, but that seemed like only surface level stuff now compared to what he'd just read.

Yet, he pressed on, going to the next bookmarked page.

"April 3rd, 2018

I participated in my first science fair since mom died. While dad had been understanding, I could tell he wanted me to get back into something like this, probably because it would be a step for both of us to get back to something resembling normalcy. I thought about it a couple of times, but I just wasn't ready, and honestly, I didn't want to go when I got up today. He talked me into it though, and I have to say, I'm glad he did, and not just because I won first prize either, though that was nice too.

I'm glad because I know that it's what she would have wanted for me. She'd always encouraged me to press on, to never give up any time I experienced a setback in life, so I think that's why today felt so special to me. Even if I hadn't gotten any kind of trophy, just coming here and participating would have still felt like a win.

I hope you're proud of me, mom. I really want to make you proud."

"I know she is, Gwen," Peter found himself muttering. He then went to the next bookmark, seemingly unable to put the thing down. This entry was quite a bit further out from the previous ones, and there was another note written on the bookmark this time.

"Not A WORD about this one the next time we see each other!"

Now more curious than ever, Peter quickly began reading the page.

"April 13th, 2022

Ugh, I can't stand this! Why am I being this way!? I've known that Peter Parker is seeing someone since the day I met him, so why do I keep thinking about him so much? You know what, maybe if I actually sit and write some of the reasons why I like him down, maybe it'll help somehow. Yeah, I'll know how I can tackle them and prevent them from getting worse! Besides, it might not even be as many reasons as I think, and I'm just blowing them out of proportion. Let's see..."

Oh, Peter couldn't WAIT to see where this went!

"Okay, first thing: he cares about people, even people he doesn't know. I still remember when he helped that guy pick up his books at the beginning of the year, and I thought it was nice. Since then, all I've done is see him do that kind of thing for friend and stranger alike. It's honestly amazing how little it matters if he knows the person or not; he's always there to help them!

Anyway, let's see... number two: he's hardworking. I mean, he does keep up with school while trying to provide for his aunt as well, who I understand isn't always in the best of health, so there's that. He kind of reminds me of dad in that way; there aren't a ton of ways that I'd say they're alike, but they're definitely both the types who like to work hard and provide for the people they need to.

Alright, number three: he really does seem to enjoy life. Honestly, he's been through a lot, given that he lost his parents when he was a kid and his uncle just a few years ago. He does get a little mopey sometimes, but for the most part, he actually surprises me with how upbeat he is most of the time. I feel like it took me a lot longer after mom died before I could really start to enjoy myself like that again.

Number four: he's cute. There, I said it. It's funny, because I feel like I can't pin it to one specific thing that I find attractive. It's just... I don't know. I've never really thought about it like this (does anyone, actually?), but I guess if you could make the ideal body type on a guy that I would be attracted to, it would be him.

Okay, that didn't help at all; now that I see all the reasons in front of me, my crush on him is worse than ever! This backfired badly; I think I'll go read or something, try and get him off my mind... as if that had ever worked before. First time for everything, right?"

Peter could only shake his head after reading that entry for a few reasons, not the least of which was how ridiculous he felt in hindsight. Betty was nice, but there was his perfect match right there the whole time, madly in love with him, and he'd really been unable to see it? He knew that hindsight was 20/20 and all, but still, it was now more obvious than ever how much more compatible he was with Gwen. Who knew though; if things had played out any other way, he might have found a way to blow it somehow. Parker luck was a real thing after all.

He then moved onto the next one.

"October 14th, 2023

I just got back from Peter's house and... wow. I know it was his birthday, but this was easily the greatest night of my life! I can't believe how fortunate things turned out; all those days I spent trying to make my feelings for him go away, only for him to reciprocate them when they were as strong as ever? I'm pretty sure Hallmark couldn't have written a better script!

So, yeah, Peter is my boyfriend now! I'm honestly kind of scared to go to bed right now. I mean, what if I wake up and find that it was all just a dream? Like, I KNOW it was real, but still!

I'm just overwhelmed with happiness right now. I've always prided myself on being the logical one and not getting too head over heels into my feelings, but honestly, I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life. I just wish mom could have met him; I know she would have really loved him, and the three of us nerding out together would have been incredible.

I won't lie though: I feel a little nervous too. I guess that's natural, but still, Peter has clearly thought very highly of me for a while now. What if I'm not the girlfriend he thought I would be? What if we date for a while, but he eventually realizes that he could do better? Mom would tell me to just take a breath, so that's what I'm going to do... okay, I do feel a little better. I'm not going to let these things get to me, not tonight. Like I said, tonight is a happy night, the happiest of my entire life.

I'm counting down the minutes until I see him again already!"

Peter could feel his cheeks stretch as he smiled. He'd had almost those exact same thoughts throughout the whole night, and basically in that order too. Mostly, he remembered feeling like he was way up in the clouds then and for the next few months. It was honestly interesting to read about her being so smitten with him in this way, given that whenever they were in person, he was too absorbed in how smitten he was with her to really pay attention.

There was one more bookmarked spot left, so Peter turned towards it, finding that it was near the end of the booklet.

"April 10th, 2024

"So... should I even write about this in here? I have so many thoughts, but at the same time, Peter's just placed more trust in me than I ever thought possible, and I don't want to do ANYTHING to break that trust! Okay, I'll just say it like this: I know everything now, or at least the important, fundamental parts of everything.

It's weird how it both recontextualizes every interaction I've ever had with Peter while changing absolutely nothing at the same time. It's like, there's this whole other part of his life that I had no idea about and is a lot more... exciting than what I'd seen, but at the same time, he's still the same wonderful man I've always known. Once I got over the shock, I could see clearly how it couldn't be anyone else but Peter.

At the same time, I can't help but feel nervous as well. I mean... how am I supposed to relate to this whole other side of his life? When he tells me the things he's done or what he's seen and experienced, I feel like all I'll be able to do is just sit there and nod, but be unable to actually comprehend any of it like he can. He can do so much that I can only dream of, but more than that, he has to make impossible choices on a daily basis. I mean, am I really the best person to help him through all this stuff?

I wish I could poke mom's brain a little about this stuff. She was always so accepting of dad wanting to be a cop and the life that he led, while I've always just tried not to think about it. At the same time, this... this is so much bigger. I just feel so much smaller all of a sudden; Peter goes out there and makes a huge difference in the lives of people every single day, and here I am just trying to get through class. What am I doing to make a difference now?

Oh, and Peter, if I do in fact decide to let you read this, listen to me very carefully: YOU DIDN'T SAY OR DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY! I know you'll find some way to blame yourself, and maybe nothing I say will change that, but everything I've just written has come from my own mind, nothing more.

Anyway, I'll end with the fact that I do feel a great sense of peace now that Peter and I are stronger than ever now. I'm so relieved that there isn't a distance between us anymore. Still, all the things that mom was for dad... I don't know how well I can be that for Peter now, given... everything."

Peter slowly closed the booklet, setting it down as his mind began to process everything he'd just read, especially that last part. Of all the aspects of revealing his secret identity to her, he'd never considered the side that she'd written about. Plus, he now had a much better sense of how Gwen viewed her mother as well. He knew she'd thought very highly of her, but the pedestal his girlfriend had put her on was remarkably similar to what he did with Ben. He'd never really said it like he should have, but he'd always appreciated the man he was and the role he'd played in both his and May's lives, and he wanted to do that for his own family one day.

As he shuffled his pillow over and laid his head down on it, Peter contemplated what he could do to reassure his girlfriend. After all, she had done as much for him when he'd told her the truth about his origins and what had motivated him to be Spider-Man in the first place. She'd had every right to think infinitely less of him than she had, but she showed him grace and love instead. It was far from what he deserved, yet she seemed to insist otherwise, reminding him that he was enough for her.

He didn't know how yet, but he knew that he needed to do the same for Gwen.

"Hey!"

Gwen looked up, spotting Peter trotting up towards her.

"Hey!" she replied equally enthusiastically.

"These are for you!" he said, bringing out the roses he was holding behind his back.

"Aww, that's sweet," she said, sniffing them. She then caught a glimpse of what looked like a folded paper within the bouquet.

"What is this?" she asked as she removed it. Peter only smiled, simply nodding in the paper's direction, so she unfolded it, beginning to read it.

"Hey, Beautiful!

I just wanted you to know that you are enough. I wanted to tell you that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are the one for me. You may not be out there doing what I do, but you also strive to help people. You are someone who has faced loss and, instead of giving up, you emerge stronger from it. You choose to honor the memory of a loved one by doing the best you can with your gifts every day. That's what I do too. We are on the same path, Gwen Stacy, and we always will be. I know that, if your mom was here today, she would be so proud of you... just like I am.

I love you."

Gwen wiped her eyes as tears began to well up. She knew exactly what he was doing; he was responding to what he had learned of her through her reading. She sniffed, glancing down at the card before looking back up at her boyfriend.

"Thank you."

"I mean, I just couldn't let you go on thinking any other way now, could I?" he questioned. "Besides, it's nothing you haven't done for me already."

"It seems we're good for each other, wouldn't you say?" Gwen asked.

Peter leaned in, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Absolutely... now, about that one page..."

Hope you're still enjoying it!

Continuing to pray for you all; stay safe and healthy!

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9