A Holiday by Decree

~~ Day 4 ~~

Tyrion had had such a pleasant morning in the courtyard with Sansa, coffee, and the aviary that he could not recall having enjoyed anything half as much recently at all. Compared to the drabness of his life with a fulltime slate of administrative tasks in the new capital, he found himself caught up riding a rare emotional high.

He sat in the library, with an unopened book, while his mind sped, picking apart what had made the past 12 hours so good.

It had been key that he had been so relaxed from the herbs the night before - without a chance to second guess himself, he had just enjoyed himself and his time with Sansa; he was relieved that he remembered most of it, except the night's end, as they had both eventually dozed off on the cushions.

Instinctually, this struck Tyrion as probably the most optimal evening he could have asked for; it was certainly no coincidence that for years, and still on certain occasions, that he had made a point to drink habitually at the start of anything. He had learned early, that given who he was as a person, the risk of getting caught up in his own inadequacies, whether by circumstance or his own poor thoughts, was high. Given one of these things was under his control, he always appreciated any chance he got to mitigate that.

In this case, it had been a double treat that Sansa was just as uninhibited. How they had eaten, talked and laughed - Tyrion thought he would give his right arm to do it every day of his life! Of course, he felt a twinge as he thought it and imagined Jaime casually calling him a fool; in hindsight, the ways that Tyrion had known his brother had cared for him were atypical. Still, he had known it and missed Jaime terribly for it.

Meanwhile, Tyrion's heart may have been light as a bird at the beginning of the afternoon, but by the end of it, self doubt and a return to reality had turned the flutters in his chest fearful and anxious.

Sansa seemed to have a good time with you last night and this morning, but you can't both be high or coming down off one forever. Just look at her - you ignored it this morning, but the staff here must be laughing, seeing you trip over yourself to be with her. Back home, that would only get worse.

… Sansa is also surely humoring you out of pity or a sense of duty, or worse yet - perhaps either Jon or Daenerys did put her up to this… Continuing with this would be just as bad as if you took advantage of her after your wedding! Face it, you stupid Lannister Imp, you let your emotions rule you, and you fall in love far too easily - you really are a fool!

And, on and on his terrible mind went until it was time for dinner.

:::

Note: Angst sighting! Don't worry, for those of you who are here for the light fluffies, it's going to be worth it ;-)