Flying with angels. So why did it feel like she was so low?

Their little dove. So why did it feel like she was alone?

She was alive. So why did it feel like she was dead?

Evelyn sat there in the mud for hours. Dawn remained at the edge of the horizon and the oil lamps nearby burned low and yet she didn't care. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Evelyn knew that she was cold. She knew that she was cold and dirty, starving and thirsty, and, above all, exhausted and in pain. Yet she didn't care. She just stayed in front of the grave that was meant to be hers and waited for it all to swallow her whole.

She was tired. My god, she was tired. Tired of living this half-life, a life burdened by fear and pain and loss. A life where her only childhood memories consisted of harmful hands in the corner of the bedroom. A life where her only happiness came in the form of a man who killed as if it were nothing, a man who probably would protect her from anything, even if the most dangerous being was him. A life where her family lay six feet under the dirt while she was first to be above it, desperately wishing she were there with them.

What would it be like to be with them again? What would it be like to hold her mother's hand for the first time, to look into those light blue eyes and pretend as if she had been looking into them her whole life? What would it be like to be wrapped in her father's arms as he told her the stories Sirius had told her? What would it feel like to be loved like that?

Evelyn always wondered how things would have been if her father had lived past seventeen. Now, she would always wonder what it would have been like if her mother only knew how often her daughter visited this exact graveyard, wishing she could join the only family she had left.

It was crazy how life was sometimes. We measure our moments in "befores" and "afters". Before her grandmother hit her for the first time and after every strike since. Before she went to Hogwarts and after. Before she met Tom and after him.

But that was the thing.

Evelyn didn't get either a before or an after with her parents. All she got was a life without them, wondering what it would have been like to just have a few moments of unconditional love.

All her life, Evelyn had been told that it would pass. The grief would pass. The pain would pass. The loss would pass. "Eventually," they said, "You will hardly remember how you didn't have a mother or a father."

But they were wrong.

They didn't realize what it was to feel a weight on her chest that was so heavy despite the fact that she felt nothing but empty. They didn't know what it was to have all this torment tearing up inside of her, to know what it was like to carry this sort of thing for the entirety of her life as if she weren't just a girl who couldn't bear to feel it all on her on. They didn't know what it was to wish she had a mother and a father, to have someone wiser to run to when things became hard. They didn't know what it was like to wish that someone cared about her enough to answer her pleas. She talked to the gods—to any that would listen to her pleas for companionship and some semblance of love—but the sky was empty and the graves were full.

They didn't know what it was like to reach out and only grasp air instead of fingers. They didn't know what it was like to reach out anyway knowing that there was only air but wishing that, for just a brief moment, something else would be there too.

They didn't know what it was like to be so broken that she wasn't even sure what parts of her were left. Just a shell of a daughter. A shell of a dove.

Evelyn stared at that small teddy bear. Its ear was almost torn off and years of wind, dirt, and rain had not been kind to it. She supposed it was brown with a white stomach at one point but that point was long ago.

"You and I are the same," she whispered in a hoarse voice to the bear. "Alone. Damaged. Neglected."

So she picked up the bear and cradled it in her arms—it was hers after all. Perhaps one of them could finally be held. Perhaps one of them could finally be loved.

There is a way, a voice inside of her whispered. There is a way you can be loved again. There is a way you can be with them again.

Yes. Yes, there was.

You know what to do.

Evelyn grabbed the bear and the frame and apparated.

To the lake.

. . .

The blue hour was just beginning by the time Evelyn walked up to the foggy shores of the lake by Black Manor. The water was murky and dark, as was the almost grey sand that surrounded it.

Evelyn, the water seemed to call in a hissing voice. My child. You are returning.

"Yes." Because she was returning. The lake had called her once in a dream and she almost answered. Perhaps there was a sort of dark magic lingering over it, one that surely would have killed her if Tom hadn't pulled her away.

Tom wasn't here now. He was blocked, probably back at Hogwarts, though possibly still in London. It didn't matter. He wouldn't know until it was too late.

Just like before, Regulus's apparition appeared to hover over the water. "Sweetheart," he called out in a voice that was somehow a loud whisper. "Are you sure this is what you want? You cannot turn back."

Evelyn nodded and clutched the bear to her chest. "I'm sure. I want to be with you. With mom." The word flowed so naturally out of her that she was sure it was a sign.

Regulus's smile was sad but understanding. "Then I'll be with you all the way there."

"Does it hurt? Dying?"

"Dying is easy. It's the living that hurts."

Evelyn nodded. "Do you regret it then?"

"Living?"

"Dying."

Her father smiled and walked over to the shore. He didn't step onto the land; he must have been tied to the water somehow. Perhaps, after a few moments, she would be too. Evelyn took another step to meet him. Her toes just narrowly avoided the murky lake. It lapped on the shores continually but never made contact.

Regulus cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. It reminded her of Tom. "Every day."

Up until that point, Evelyn was quite sure of her decision. She wanted to be with her parents, wanted to be away from the pain of every day. But now, as her mind continued to flash to Tom and her father spoke of his regrets, she wasn't so sure. There were questions that lingered through her mind, cutting holes through her assurance. Dying was so... permanent. Before, that was the appeal. Now, she wasn't so sure she wanted to say goodbye to Tom, goodbye to Mattheo, goodbye to life.

Come, child, the voice in her head hissed. It was stronger now than before, now that she was closer to the lake. Come and join your father. Come and join your mother.

"Alright," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. Because even though she was having doubts, they didn't seem strong enough to overpower her feeling of complete and utter emptiness. You can be with them again, a softer voice said. It sounded like her own. You can be away from all the harshness of this world.

So Evelyn reached out across the water and grabbed Regulus's hand. It was cold and yet she somehow felt warm holding it. Father, she thought. My father.

The lake was frigid. It bit at her toes as soon as she stepped inside, though the fact that she wasn't wearing any shoes anymore probably didn't help. Her boots and socks sat by the shore next to the teddy bear and the frame of her parents. She couldn't bear to let those be lost to the icy depths below. At that moment, they seemed more valuable than she.

Regulus continued to lead her, stopping patiently whenever her feet seemed to get stuck in the mud. And as they neared the center, Evelyn felt something below pull her down. It grabbed at her legs and forced her head under the surface.

Evelyn tried to remain calm and focused on the feeling of her father's hand in her even as the being that was the lake pulled her further and further down. Invisible arms held at her ankles and forced her into the depths. Still, her father held on. He wouldn't leave her. Not now, not... ever.

Regulus had been there. He was there in the dungeons, there in her dreams. He probably watched from beyond as she went to Hogwarts, as she had her Christmases and birthdays, as she met Tom. He was there. And Evelyn realized that he would always be there for her, whether she was alive or dead. He'd never left her. She might not have always seen it but he was there. She wasn't alone. She had family. She'd always had a family. She had Vivian and Sirius and Mattheo. She even had Regulus's ghost. And Tom.

Oh, Tom.

What was she doing? Why was she doing this? Why did she ever want to leave him?

Evelyn broke free of the fog the depression had placed on her. When she opened her eyes, all she could see was the darkness of the still water. The surface seemed miles away. "I want to live... I want to live!"

She turned to find her father looking bewildered. Bewildered yet proud. He attempted to pull on her hand and bring her to the surface but with a gasp, both of them realized that the lake wasn't letting go. It had taken the father and now it wanted the daughter.

Evelyn thrashed but the hold on her ankles seemed to only get tighter. Panic. That was all she felt. Panic because she was about to die just when she had finally decided she was ready to live. Panic because she was about to lose the only happiness she had found in her life all because of a stupid, impulsive decision.

Panic.

So Evelyn did the only thing she could think of.

She called out for him.

"Tom," she sent into the void, into the bond that she hoped wasn't too severed to work. It was a long shot—especially since she had been blocking him since the potion wore off—but the water continued to burn down Evelyn's lungs while she felt herself being pulled deeper and deeper and deeper. A cry for help was all she could do.

Just before everything went black and the final bits of water filled her lungs, just before she felt the claws of the link finally secure her in their grasp, Evelyn heard a broken voice in her mind.

"Little Dove."

And then darkness swallowed her whole.

Guys I think this is the last cliffhanger (at least the last one I have planned) so don't hate me lol. Next chapter is completely Tom's POV to make up for it. Have a good week! Let me know what you think in the comments xx