Chapter two

"Eddie". Rachel whispered, so quietly it could barely be heard but loud enough for both to feel the effects their names still have on each other.

'Oh gosh, it's happening' there it was, the ultimate test, how much self-control did she have? She should have just left, should have just picked up her bag, excused herself quietly and left, but she didn't. She had to look over, she had to take him in, look at him, breathe in his unique scent that tumbled through every one of her senses. It was like she was drunk, intoxicated with everything that was Eddie Lawson.

Her trance was broken by a very raspy, soft voice; one that she would be able to pick out in a room full of people. "How are you?" and there it was. Why? Why did he have to ask her that? How was she even meant to answer? After all it would be a lie, and if she knew Eddie the way she thought she did he would see right through her.

Clearing her throat Rachel raised her eyes to look at him. "I'm. Yeh I'm ok, how are you?" Why did she have to do that? Why did she respond? She should have left. Should have acted like she never heard him and just kept walking, straight through the doors, down the drive and into the car park. She should have left things at a look, but she couldn't, he was her drug, the one she never knew she needed until she saw him again. Why was this so hard? Why didn't she know what to do? Why couldn't she have just controlled herself?

Looking down at the button on her sleeve Rachel waited for his answer, she couldn't keep looking at him, he would be able to make her crumble within seconds. "I'm. I'm doing good yeh." she could hear his smile "Rachel...?" that made her look up. 'Dammit.' "What? ...why? ... it's so good to see you, what are you doing here?" She watched his smile get gradually bigger the more he spoke, his eyes gently sweeping over her, taking her all in. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other, a very long time since they had last heard each other's voice.

In that very moment Rachel could feel her anger for her sister rise all over again, she could feel it bubbling inside her stomach for what she did, because Eddie was right, it was good to see him, her soul felt a strange peace she hadn't felt in such a long time, a sense of relief that she could finally breath, that she wasn't trapped, that she could be her real self without having to be embarrassed or ashamed, she could be Rachel Mason.

Rachel, not Amanda. Rachel; the woman she had fought tooth and nail to become yet was so easily broken down by the cruel words of her husband which would be thrown at her every time they argued... "Go back to your old life Amanda, it suited you better"

It was then! At that very moment, with her old love in front of her telling her how good it was to see her again that Rachel realised just how miserable she really was. That the life she had built for herself was nowhere near as happy and peaceful as the one she fell in to with Eddie and Philip, the one that worked so effortlessly that it was so easy to be happy. Her life with Eddie and Philip was different, it was gentle, and it was calm. 'Urgh Mellissa, I hate you'

"Rachel?" Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to keep saying her name like that? "Are you ok?" He needed to stop talking, he was making her brain swirl. Every part of her felt on fire.

Nodding, Rachel finally looked up at him properly for the first time, his smile had dropped, and his expression had changed to one of worry and concern. He was stepping closer, and Rachel felt like she was going to fall. Forcing air into her lungs she spluttered out her reply. "I'm ok Eddie, I'm really sorry, I've got to go."

Her heart hurt, her soul felt shattered, and her legs felt like they were going to give way any second. She had to leave, she was too exposed, she'd buried so much away over the years, became so good at hiding her truth that it was easy for her to believe her own lies.

But was she good at hiding it? Was she really? Or was it that the man she had married didn't look hard enough, because the man standing in front of her, he would see, he would see every single crack, every single splinter. She couldn't do that, she couldn't lay herself bare, not again, the first time nearly broke her, she knew this time her soul would be crushed for sure.

Taking one last look at the man she had fallen head over heels back in love with within an hour, Rachel turned. "Goodbye Eddie."

She felt like she was sprinting, her legs were moving so fast that she was effectively floating, she couldn't breathe, her eyes stung, and tears threatened to spill out of the corners. 'why' she thought to herself 'why now?!'

Finally reaching the outside of the very lavish 5* hotel, Rachel pushed her back against the old brick wall to the side of the entrance she needed to breathe, her heart was pounding, her head was swimming.

She could see her car from where she was, it would be an easy exit. So why couldn't she leave? Why couldn't she put the last few steps together, put one foot in front of the other and reach her car?

Maybe deep down she didn't want to, maybe, just maybe, she wanted to stay. Stay in this ridiculous hotel, stay for another day of mind-numbing seminars, stay close to Eddie.

'Well now you're just being ridiculous'

" uurgghh" Rachel let out an exasperated moan. This couldn't be happening to her. Why? Of all the times, of all the places did she have to lay eyes on Eddie Lawson here. In an absurdly beautiful hotel where no one knew her; knew who her past, knew who she is now. The one place she thought she would finally be able to get her thoughts together, to absorb herself whole heartedly into the information given to her and to find a way to tell Adam that she had spoken to an old friend and that she had been recommended for headship at new failing school.

24 hours, that's all it was, 24 beautiful hours. 'Stop, you can't do this. This isn't your life anymore.' Her head was all over the place, it was like she was fighting a losing battle. Every part of her knew she needed to get into that car, to put the keys in the ignition and drive as quickly and as far away as she could, so why couldn't she do it? She just needed to walk!

"What you doing?" shock! That's what hit Rachel's face next, pure shock. Had he followed her out? Come looking for her? Why was he here right now; again, a mere six feet away, standing on the bottom step of the entrance. 'Damm you Eddie Lawson, Damm you!' "Anyone would think you're trying to avoid me" he stepped down and turned to her. She had to break the silence, end the awkwardness between them. She'd tried her hardest to leave, tried with all her might to fight against herself, to gain some control back and get to her car, but she was fighting a battle she already knew she would be willing to lose. She was losing control and for the first time in a very long time Rachel didn't mind. She was strangely fine with the fact she had no action plan, no type of idea how she was going to get out of this situation.

Pushing herself off the wall Rachel stood, wavering slightly as her head began to whirl. 'My goodness Eddie Lawson, what are you doing to me.' "I could ask you the same question." Rachel couldn't help but smile, it was so easy, so natural that it felt foreign, when was the last time she properly smiled? "Are you following me Mr. Lawson?" Her breath caught; his eyes fluttered; It had been a long time since either of them had heard their names in a professional capacity and it seemed it had the same effect on them now as it did all those years before. Was she flirting with him now? Is that what she was doing? "I. I just popped out" Eddie held his head down as he pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. He knew what was coming, even after all these years. "Eddie" and there it was, the slow, quiet, sympathetic whisper of his name. "I thought you'd given up." It was now Eddies' turn to keep his head low, he couldn't take the look on her face. He knew what that look meant. It wasn't the fact that he smoked, that wasn't an issue to Rachel, it was what it meant when he did. Rachel couldn't help but remember a time years ago when she found Eddie smoking outside the pub, it had been a hard day with his ex-wife and the struggle not to become frustrated had become too much. A release; a bad habit that would rear its head every now and then only to be placated 5 minutes later until the next time his patience really wore too thin, or he needed a minute to get his head and emotions in order.

"I have." he smiled down at her, "just every now and then" winking as he finished talking. 'Oh Eddie, what are you doing to me.'

She knew what those few words meant, 'every now and then' and she knew not to push, especially not right now when his most likely reason to be indulging in such a habit was her.

Rachel nodded, she felt stumped, at that very moment she didn't know what to do. She wanted to stay, she knew she should stay, she had worked so hard to be there, had argued a ridiculous number of arguments with her not so understanding husband to leave now, but being there meant being close to Eddie. How was she meant to concentrate knowing he would be in the same room as her? Sleeping in the same hotel, eating breakfast at opposite ends of the dining room? But how was she meant to go home and leave him there? Go home to Adam; laughing at her as she lied to him, telling him he was right, she shouldn't be In charge of a school again, because telling him the truth about the situation would be even worse, it would be even more painful to deal with if her 'ever-loving' husband was to find out that the man she loved with her whole heart, the man she loved more than him, was at the same conference as she was. How convenient that would be, how easy it would make it for him to launch into a fit of rage, to scream and shout, to embarrass and degrade her.

That morning when she left her house, overnight bag in hand, Rachel's heart hurt, unsure if she was making the right decision. She hadn't spent a night away before and after the argument with Adam that morning; she was dreading being away, but now? Now, Rachel wasn't dreading it at all; subconsciously deciding the second she saw him walk down the steps, she wasn't going anywhere. She knew it was wrong, she knew for the sake of her marriage that she should go home. She just couldn't, she couldn't turn her back on him again, she couldn't walk away from the man who stood so freely Infront of her. Their history was too long, it was like a gravitational pull, an invisible string attaching them together.

'I hope you know what you are doing.' Rachel thought to herself as she smiled up at the gentle man in front of her. With a deep breath she tilted her head slightly to the right. "What are you doing here Eddie?" her question lost its seriousness when a small laugh escaped from Eddies mouth. "Probably the same reason as you Miss Mason." Rachel smirked, there it was, her name. she could never get bored of this man; it was so easy to be happy around Eddie Lawson. "I tell you what though, isn't he boring."

Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed my first chapter of this story, I was so nervous about writing again but the waterloo road fandom is still just as amazing as it was. I really hope you enjoy this chapter ,i feel we are really starting to get into the story now. I have so many plans for this, so i really hope you stick around for a few surprises along the way.

Please drop me a review, I love hearing everyone's feedback and any ideas others may have.

P.S if any other writers would be interested in co-writing a fandom story, I'd love to hear from you, co-writing is so much fun!

Lauren x