Chapter 55

Ginny POV

She felt like her brain was malfunctioning. Ginny had her hands firmly on Hermione's waist and was still trying to process what had just happened. Hermione had leaned in to kiss her, that much was clear, but why?

"Hermione, what – "

"I'm so sorry Ginny. I have no idea what just came over me. I think I just haven't been dealing with the distance between myself and Juliette, and I'm overwhelmed with school and Prefect duties, and you're being so kind and supportive and I just – I don't know what I was doing or thinking. I'm so sorry. I just miss Juliette," Hermione rambled off quickly, her face blushing deeper than Ginny had ever seen.

Ginny didn't respond right away as she continued desperately to try and process what had just happened. Previously, Hermione had fancied her. However, over the summer Hermione had said that she loved Juliette, and Ginny had tried to use that as closure. But if she loved Juliette, why had there been so many instances in which Hermione had been looking at Ginny's lips or had even gone so far to actually lean in towards her? Was it possible that Hermione did still fancy her? Why did this have to be so frustratingly difficult and complicated?

"Hermione, do you fancy me?" Ginny asked plainly. She didn't want to sound hopeful or desperate, she just couldn't not ask.

"Wha – Of course I don't, I'm – "

"Dating Juliette. In love with Juliette. Yeah, I know, but – "

"There's no 'but' Ginny. I am dating Juliette. I am in love with Juliette. I told you, I just – "

"Hermione, you just leaned in to kiss me. And I've caught you looking at my lips before, so don't try to deny – "

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ginny. Sometimes I look at your lips when you talk, but that's perfectly normal," Hermione declared matter-of-factly.

Ginny stared at her in disbelief, her hands still on Hermione's waist, holding her. The brunette was staring at her fiercely, trying to back up her declaration, but Ginny could see right through it.

"I've never seen you do that to anyone else. Why is it just me then?" Ginny probed. She didn't want to push Hermione too far, but at the same time she didn't want to let this go.

"You must just not notice, because I do," Hermione said defensively. Ginny could tell Hermione was getting angry now, but she still hadn't stepped out of Ginny's hold on her waist.

"So, you're saying you don't fancy me? And that you leaned in to kiss me because you're stressed and that you miss Juliette, who you are still with and who you love? And that you staring at my lips means absolutely nothing, and that you do it all the time to other people as well? Just to be clear… That's what you're saying? You're saying you don't fancy me, Hermione?" Ginny didn't mean to, but she heard herself ask Hermione this in a challenging tone.

Hermione swallowed hard, then nodded.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying…" Hermione said. She was less defensive now. She spoke softly, with almost a pleading tone, as if she was begging Ginny to end the conversation and move on.

Ginny looked into Hermione's eyes, desperately trying to read them, trying to find the truth. But she knew the truth. And she knew Hermione knew the truth too. Why wouldn't she admit it? There's no way Ginny could've misread this, all of this. Especially since she knew Hermione had fancied her before, there's no way this was all in her mind. But what could she do? Hermione was denying it, and she was in fact dating someone else. Ginny knew she should drop it, but –

"Fine. If you want to pretend like that's all true, fine. If that's what you want, fine," she said firmly, finally letting go of Hermione's waist and stepping back away from her.

Hermione stared at her, and for a moment, Ginny thought Hermione was going to step forward towards her, but she stayed rooted in place.

"For the record, I fancy you Hermione. I know that you're my best friend and I know that you're dating someone else and in love with them, but for the record, I fancy you. Figure it'd be nice if at least one of us lived up to our supposed Gryffindor bravery…" Ginny said definitively, looking Hermione directly in the face.

Hermione's face transitioned into an unreadable expression. She looked stunned and confused and hopeful all at once, but Ginny couldn't read into it. This was too difficult, and if Hermione was going to be stubborn and deny her feelings, then fine. At least Ginny made her feelings known, that's all she could do.

Ginny took another step back and turned to walk away. She thought, maybe even hoped, that Hermione would follow her or grab her or something, but she didn't. Ginny continued walking, leaving Hermione by the fallen log that had become somewhat of an emotionally revealing location for the two of them. Well, at least for Ginny. At least Ginny was honest with her feelings. She was willing to put herself out there, and she didn't regret it.

She walked along the lake, up into the Quidditch stadium, and into the locker room. She knew no one was on the schedule to use the pitch that evening, so she figured she'd be able to have a moment to herself. She sat down hard on the wooden bench across from her locker. When she saw the book that was sitting on the shelf inside, Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland, she let out a harsh laugh and stood to pick it up. She wanted to throw it, she wanted to toss it into the showers and let the water destroy it, but she knew she'd regret it if she did. Whatever was going on between herself and Hermione, or rather, whatever wasn't going on, she couldn't let herself act out irrationally and do things she'd regret. She'd watched Ron do dumb things like that all that time with his lack of self-control and forward-thinking, and he almost always regretted his actions later on. She flipped through the book, reflecting on how she felt when Hermione had given it to her, how special it made her feel. She realized that Hermione had likely been fancying her when she gifted her the book, and snapped it closed and placed it back on the shelf roughly before sitting back down on the wooden bench and laying down along it, covering her face with her hands and letting out a moan of frustration.

"Uh… Hello?" she heard echo through the locker room.

Ginny sat up quickly and turned to face the door to the locker room. Katie was standing in the doorway, staring at Ginny.

"What are you doing in here, Ginny? Were you going to go out and train? It's getting dark… Plus, we've discussed overtraining already…" Katie said slightly scoldingly.

"Uh no – I was – I was just looking for a place to be alone with my thoughts. It's been kind of… Kind of a day…" Ginny said quietly. She could feel tears building up behind her eyes, and she didn't want to cry in front of Katie, but she wasn't sure she was going to have a choice.

Katie looked at her, and crossed the locker room to sit beside her on the bench.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Katie asked gently.

Ginny shook her head, biting her lip and trying to force herself to not cry. Unfortunately, she quickly discovered that she was fighting a losing battle. Katie looked at her briefly before getting up and going into the back room of the locker room. She returned moments later with a clean towel, sat back down on the bench beside Ginny, and handed it to her. Ginny wiped her tears silently, and the two of them just sat there for a while in the quiet of the locker room. Eventually, Ginny broke the silence.

"You don't have to sit with me, I'm – I'm fine," she got out, her voice betraying her and breaking.

"I've got strict orders from Angelina to be there for our reserve player this year, no matter what. If you want me to leave, I will. But if you don't mind, I'd rather sit here with you so at least if you do want to talk, you've got someone who will listen. No pressure. I just want to make sure you feel supported, if that's alright."

Ginny nodded, and wiped away more tears with the towel. They were silent again for a few more minutes, before Ginny once again broke the silence.

"Why are girls so complicated?"

Katie chuckled, "That is a question I have yet to find an answer to, unfortunately. What's going on that's so complicated? Is this about Demelza or…?"

Ginny looked at Katie, taking in her dark, kind eyes.

"Will you promise to keep this to yourself?"

"Of course," Katie nodded.

"I fancy Hermione…"

Katie's eyebrows shot up in shock, "Hermione? Hermione Granger? Really? I thought the two of you were best friends? Plus, isn't she dating Juliette Marat?"

"We are, she is…"

"Wow, well, you're right. That is complicated," Katie nodded sympathetically.

"I think she might fancy me too…" Ginny continued, taking in Katie's widening eyes.

"Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"

"Well for one, she tried to kiss me tonight when we were out by the lake for her birthday picnic…"

Katie laughed out loud, but not in an unkind or cruel way, "Well sure, that's a pretty good indication. But she's still dating Juliette?"

Ginny nodded.

"That's tough… I can't imagine she'd try to kiss you if she didn't fancy you at least somewhat… But she's still with Juliette…" Katie said thoughtfully.

Ginny gave her a slight glare, "Well, I asked her if she fancied me and she denied it. So, I told her I fancied her, and then she didn't say anything… She just stared at me, and then let me walk away. So, if she does fancy me, I gave her the opening she needed. I don't understand – "

"Well Ginny, if she's still with Juliette, it wouldn't have been the right thing to do to just start up with you right then and there. She's clearly having a hard time with this, if she's still with Juliette and trying to kiss you and all…" Katie rationalized. "She might fancy both of you."

Ginny rolled her eyes which spurred Katie to give her a look.

"Hey, it happens. You can't always choose who you fancy. Maybe try a little sympathy for the girl you say you fancy?"

Ginny gave Katie the look this time.

"If she's worth it, hang in there. Relationships aren't easy, especially at our age – I would know. If you want to really give this a shot, then maybe you just need to be patient. If it's meant to be and if Hermione wants to be with you, she will be. You said how you felt, it's up to her on how to respond. You can just sit back, relax, and focus on Quidditch. And I guess your classes as well…" Katie smiled, giving Ginny a nudge. Ginny returned the smile.

"Thanks Katie. I really appreciate this," Ginny said, feeling significantly better having gotten all of this off her chest.

"I told you at the beginning of the season, I'm here for you for whatever you need, outside of Quidditch included. You're going to be okay, Ginny," Katie said with a reassuring smile, pulling the redhead in for a hug. Ginny relaxed into the hug, feeling very lucky that she had such a great teammate in a time like this.

Once they broke apart, Katie stood up from the bench and offered her hand to the redhead, "Come on, let's head up to the common room."

Ginny took Katie's hand, letting the older girl pull her up, and followed her out of the Quidditch locker room, hand firmly still in Katie's.