Chapter Twelve:

Lawyer SMG4 Catches Up

Mario, OnyxKing, and Grasshopper wandered through the Dark Land after catching their breath from the battle with Zero, all in agreement that they could still find help in putting an end to the insanity of Lawyer SMG4's sussy lawsuit.

The group found a red Warp Pipe in a cave near the wreck of an old Koopa Castle, which had likely been wrecked by Mario during a past adventure. Filled with curiosity, everyone leaped into the pipe, and let the spiraling void transport them to wherever it led to.

Mario and OnyxKing held onto their hats, which wobbled on their heads from their flight through space-and-time. Distorted warping sounds filled the trio's ears, and, moments later, they popped out of a green pipe in the middle of a grassy field, where they could see clear sunlight and a deep blue sky far above the ground.

OnyxKing blinked, and spotted a couple Bob-Ombs wandering around, then he looked up to see a floating island. He, Mario, and Grasshopper gathered their bearings, and they realized where they were:

Bob-Omb Battlefield.

"Wow, who saw that coming?" OnyxKing remarked, "We could have ended up in New Donk City, or the Dark Web, or Inkopolis, or Whomp Fortress, or back at Peach's Castle. But that pipe took us to Bob-Omb Battlefield, isn't that interesting? At least we don't have to worry about any Chain Chomps coming after us, huh?"

"Ah, the memories." Mario sighed, "Throwing King Bob-Omb around, releasing that Chomp, and racing Koopa the Quick. Say, Mario hasn't seen KTQ around anymore, did he retire from-a racing?"

"Not the time to get distracted, Mario." Grasshopper advised, "Bob-Omb Battlefield can still be pretty dangerous, there's rolling balls, and active Bob-Ombs, as well as wild Goombas roaming around. I've been here a few times, and a good many of the locals aren't that friendly to people."

"Well, well, well." Someone sneered, "Look who's here, OnyxKing67, Mario, and the superhero Elena 'Grasshopper' Dusk."

The trio turned around, and spotted an all-too recognizable face standing near a pole, not too far from their current spot, sporting a suit, shades, and a blue cap with a glitchy four symbol as well as a sneer.

Rogue YouTuber

Lawyer SMG4

"How's it going, SMG4?" OnyxKing retorted, "You got a lot of guts to summon an eldritch virus and nearly destroy the universe in the process, just to take me down because I 'illegally used your content' in my videos."

"No one runs forever, OnyxKing." SMG4 pointed dramatically at the YouTuber, "Knock-knock..."

"Uh, who's there?" Mario asked.

"Who?"

"Who's who?" OnyxKing asked annoyed.

SMG4 smirked, "Who let the Chomp out?"

Barking sounds rattled the battlefield, and Mario yelped, even OnyxKing was surprised. Moments later, a Chain Chomp was lumbering towards the trio. Grasshopper took flight, prepared to fight, even though the barking balls of teeth were known to be hard to kill. Lawyer SMG4 chuckled, and jumped on top of the approaching Chain Chomp.

Seconds later, the group heard more barking, and spotted a couple more Chain Chomps coming after them. It was a whole pack of Chomps, and they were gnashing their teeth in very vicious manners.

"If we were to rephrase that..." Lawyer SMG4 said with a giggle, "Who let the CHOMPS out?"

'Who let the dogs out. Who, who.

'Who let the dogs out. Who, who.

'Who let the dogs out. Who, who.'

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA! RUUUUUUUUUN!" Mario shrieked, and he made a break for it, just like in the 'Who Let The Chomp Out' video.

OnyxKing screamed and bolted, running as fast as he could, while the SMG4-Chomp squad pursued him along with Mario. A Chomp barked at Grasshopper, who flew as far away as possible to avoid getting bit by the crazy dog ball. Mario and OnyxKing ran all over Bob-Omb Battlefield, trying to get away from Lawyer SMG4's scary Chain Chomp brigade.

Upon the peak of King Bob-Omb's Mountain, Wheeler the Mushroom was trying to play some golf when Mario ran in, grabbed him from his wheelchair, and threw him at Lawyer SMG4's Chain Chomp.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Lawyer SMG4 yelled, and the Chomps became more aggressive by the second.

Mario and OnyxKing dove off the mountain, and ran across the field away from the slope, even as a pair of SMG4's Chomps pursued them all the way down. OnyxKing could hardly believe SMG4 was making him reenact one of the latter's most popular videos, as well as the sequel. Hopefully, the chase didn't lead to the castle getting set on fire and blowing up.

"What's with all the screaming?" A Goomba demanded irritably, "OH MY GOSH!"

The brown Mushroom yelped when it saw the unfolding chase and was flattened when SMG4's Chomp ran over it. SMG4 laughed maniacally and said, "You're too slow!"

'Who let the dogs out? Who, who? Who let the dogs out?

'Who let the dogs out? Who, who? Who let the dogs out?

'Who let the dogs out? Who, who? Who let the dogs out?'

Mario and OnyxKing spotted a Warp Pipe sticking out of the nearby mountain, and the duo dove inside it, letting the pipe transport them to who knew where. Hopefully, they'd be safe from SMG4 and his pack of Chain Chomps.

The two fat Italians were blasted out of the next Warp Pipe, and into the wonderous metropolis of New Donk City, surprising several citizens in the process.

"Don't mind us, just trying to get away from a crazy lawyer and some Chain Chomps." OnyxKing said casually.

BOOM! The Warp Pipe exploded, and Lawyer SMG4 appeared with his Chain Chomp, almost flattening a little boy in the process. Mario and his YouTube friend shrieked and took off through the streets, only to be intercepted by a police car with Hal Monitor's head, a pair of Chain Chomps, and a military truck driven by Swag and Chris.

"Ya'll cornered now." Swag quipped, "We're getting promoted."

"Karma's a bastard, eh, OnyxKing?" Chris remarked with a smug smile.

"Chris, let's have McDonald's in honor of this victory." Swag suddenly suggested, "I'll buy you a Grimace shake."

"After OnyxKing is in jail, but no Grimace."

"Saying no to Grimace shakes make me grimace in pain, Chris."

"QUIET, YOU TWO!" Lawyer SMG4 shouted, "Anyways, there's no running this time, OnyxKing. I have you now."

Mario leaped on top of SMG4's Chain Chomp with almost impossible and inhuman skill, irking the lawyer in the process as he got in his personal space. The fat Italian whipped out a microphone gun, took a deep breath, and started singing into it with the volume set to maximum;

'COUNTRY ROAD. IT'S-A ME, MARIO! OKIE-DOKIE!

'MAMA MIA! HERE WE GO! MARIOOOOOO!'

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IDIOT?!" Lawyer SMG4 screamed.

Mario then jumped off the Chain Chomp, and made a break for it with nobody stopping him as he cried, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU SONS OF A BITCHES! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MARIO'S A GENIUS! See you next time, paisanos!"

"GET BACK HERE, MARIO!" OnyxKing shrieked.

Yelling was no use. He was trapped, surrounded by Lawyer SMG4's posse, with Chain Chomps growling at him, and Hal Monitor, his face repaired, glaring menacingly at the YouTuber. SMG4 jumped off his Chain Chomp with a smirk, and brought out a pair of handcuffs, grabbed OnyxKing's hands, and cuffed him up.

Hal Monitor, in his humanoid form, stepped forward, grabbed the YouTuber, and slammed him into his police car again. OnyxKing sat back in defeat, knowing there was no way out of the situation he was in. Even then, there was a chance that things could turn around...