A/N: Here we go again! Third chapter is up! This song, too, is in French, so I have the translation down in the author's note. I also added some conversation in French. I know that Murdock actually can't speak French, but hey, he can in my imagination. ;)
For the best experience, listen to the youtube video : Un cri de joie, magnificat-Gaëtan de Courrèges.
I had first sung it when I was 12 years old in the cathedral and it was a magical moment for me. So I wanted to explain a little bit how singing makes me feel. Basically, I just forget my worries for a moment and I can enjoy what I love most.
Happy reading!
The book in his hand is shaking. Murdock tries desperately to suppress the shaking of his hands, but nothing he does has any effect. His heart is beating faster than usual. He shivers, even though he has his jacket on. The purple wobblies are wobbling more than usual.
Murdock sighed for the hundreth time that day. He closed his eyes, putting his book down. Today was going to be one of those days. He was nervous for no reason. He hated it. He was shivering without being cold. He was restless, his thoughts running one hundred miles an hour.
Oh, there are green wobblies there now too. Why is Billy red now? Wow, Butterlfy, ah no, it's a fly, bummer. A bird! A bird! Oh, it was just a shadow.
He was going insane! He couldn't hold a thought for a second. This had been going on for the whole day already, with no end in sight! He groaned lightly and flopped down on his bed, putting his arm over his eyes.
The night wouldn't be better, that was for sure. Probably another round of insomnia. He wondered how long it would go until he collapsed again. Like last time, he added grumbling in his mind. At least the sleep had been decent.
After a few hours, night time rolled around, and there was still no sign of his heart calming down. Little by little, the hospital settled down to sleep. The day nurses and orderlies left, and the ones for the night took on their shift. Murdock, though, was still wide awake. If possible, his nervousness has even increased. The only solution was to distract himself with anything.
He has already calculated the weight of the A-Team in the helicopter used in the last mission. Twice. He has already counted the spots on the ceilings, the steps leading to the garden, the steps from the staircase to his room, and the steps from his room down the steps into the garden. Though he was slowly running out of options.
He decided to imagine stories about how the spots on the ceilings were created when he heard hushed singing in the hall.
At first, he thought that he had imagined it. It wouldn't be the first time. Then he heard it again.
Interested, he swung his legs down on the floor and tiptoed to the door. His room was just across from the nurse station. Something about closer observation.
The station was deserted, except for a young woman. She's the intern; his mind provided helpfully. She was scribbling something on a notepad while humming softly. She has black hair pulled back in a braid. She has brown eyes, as far as he can tell, and a birthmark on her cheek. Her hand was shaking. The pencil was shaking in her right hand.
He narrowed his eyes, analyzing the motion closer. Possible explanations shot through his head. At least he had something to distract himself with, he thought happily. Either she was too caffeinated, it is a common thing, or she was scared. The latter seemed to be right if her gaze, which scanned the hall every 5 seconds, was anything to go by. It seemed as if she was scared that someone would jump out of the shadows any second.
Honestly, Murdock couldn't blame her. The main lights in the hall were out. She was all alone, as an intern, in a psychiatric ward with crazy war veterans who could very well end you in an episode.
Still, it felt like a slap in the face. A young woman was scared of him. He should be used to it by now. In 'Nam, the villagers had always looked at him in fear because of his uniform. He hated it. A murderer—that's what they saw in him. Nothing more, nothing less.
He had hoped that it was over, but seemingly it wasn't. Though the reason for their fear was different, Now, they were scared because they didn't know how he could react. Unfortunately, her fear wasn't unreasonable. A year ago, a patient almost killed an orderly during an episode.
Murdock was pulled out of his thoughts when the humming turned into singing. The humming seemingly didn't help that much. It was soft, but loud enough that he could understand every word.
J'étais perdue dans le troupeau,
Un matricule, un numéro:
Toi, tu me sors des statistiques,
Tu me choisis un nom unique...
It was French, Murdock noticed with surprise. There was no clear accent to hear in her French. He could understand every word.
Alors je sens monter en moi
Un cri de joie: Magnificat!
C'est comme un chant, comme un poème,
Comme un collier de fleurs.
Comme un merci, Comme un 'je t'aime'
Qui fait danser le coeur…
Her voice was so soft, a slight smile dancing around her lips. At the end, he started capping.
The girl jumped at the sudden sound, looking around frantically searching for the source, when she noticed Murdock.
She put down her notepad and walked over to him. That is his chance, he thought. "Mr. Murdock, I didn't know you were still awake. I apologize if I have woken you up." She blushed at the embarrassment.
Murdock wanted to lean his elbow on the door to appear 'cool', but instead, he slipped off and crashed to the floor. The young woman gave a yelp of surprise. He staggered back to his feet. 'What a great first impression', he mumbled under his breath.
The intern had to stiffle a laugh but didn't succeed and burst out in a fit of giggles. Mission completed, he thought with satisfaction. He wanted her to have a different opinion of him.
She looked up now for the first time and asked, "Are you alright?"
Suddenly, she went pale and started frantically to apologize: "I-excuse me! I didn't mean to laugh. I am really sorry. I-"
He shrugged it off: "It's fine. See? No harm done." He motioned to his body.
Only now did he take a closer look into her eyes. He took back his earlier statment. They were brown-green. A deep forest green. Beautiful.
"For your earlier question, Not at all. I was just surprised to hear you sing. It's very beautiful, by the way." Murdock added, making her blush deepen even more.
She looked around again, a clear sign that she wanted to end this conversation.
"Je ne savais pas que tu parles français?" Murdock asked in French. (I didn't know you could speak French.)
She looked at him in surprise, then smiled widly before responding, "Je suis née en France, mais on a déménagé il y a quelques années." (I was born in France, but we moved here a couple years ago.)
"Et vous? Comment parlez-vous le français aussi bien?" she asked. (And you? How can you speak French that well?)
"Je l'ai appris il y a quelques mois. Je n'avais rien d'autre à faire." He said it with a wink. (I learned it a couple months ago. I didn't have anything else to do.)
"C'est très impressionant!" she commented. (That's really impressive!)
"Tu t'appelles comment?" he asked finally. (What's your name?)
"Léonore," she replied.
Murdock looked at her in surprise. She seemed to understand his silent question because she added, "Je m'introduis toujours avec Leo. C'est plus simple que t'entendre l'horrible accent américain en essayant à prononcer mon nom." ( I always introduce myself to Leo. It's much easier than listening to the horrible American accent trying to pronounce my name.)
He laughed understandably at her comment.
"Pourrais-tu le chanter encore une fois?" he asked hopefully. (Could you sing it again?)
She opened her mouth to reply when another voice entered the conversation. "Leo, you're not here to chitchat. Let Mr. Murdock sleep and finish your work, got it?" ordered nurse Linda, emerging from who knows where.
Murdock made a grimace. He didn't like nurse Linda at all.
Léonore nodded her head and went back to her station without uttering another word. Nurse Linda shot him an angry look that clearly said get back to sleep. With a grumble, he wandered back to his bed and flopped down on it.
He really didn't like nurse Linda. Her name did mean 'beautiful' in Spanish, but that woman was far from beautiful. She didn't have a pretty soul. Her eyes are cold. She trated all the patients as if they were criminals. She acted without kindness.
Warm eyes are the biggest indicator for Murdock as to whether a person is nice or not. Whenever he meets a person, he looks them in the eyes. The eyes are the portal to the soul. He didn't invent the rules of the universe.
That's why he knows that BA is no threat. He's all bark, but no bite. He looks scary with his big and bulky frame and ever-present scowl, but in truth, he is a softy at heart. He is like a big, fluffy marshmallow. A tesosterone-filled marshmellow. That's what he is! Murdock has to giggle at BA's reaction if he tells him that. Better not to. He probably wouldn't be able to feel his face for a week or so.
Then he hears Léonore's voice again. Softly, she sings again.
He sits up again and listens. It has a somewhat calming effect. Slowly, his heart rate settles to a normal pace. The song and her voice are a perfect distraction. Maybe he will be able to sleep tonight after all.
A/N: As promised: the translation of the song.
I was lost in the herd,
A matricule, a number:
You take me out of the statistics,
You choose a unique name for me...
Then I feel within me
A cry of joy: Magnificat!
It's like a song, like a poem,
Like a necklace of flowers.
Like a thank you, Like an I love you
That makes the heart dance...
Only one chapter left to do! It will probably take me more time, because I have some examens coming up, but I'll finish the story. Bye! ;)