Chapter 27) A Dangerous Choice

Selected Listening: I Know You Are There- James Newton Howard

Anastasia woke up feeling absolutely broken after the night prior. She hadn't succeeded in telling Draco she loved him, and instead ended up dancing with Fred, which although nice—confused her.

After they danced, Anastasia told Fred goodnight and went up to bed, but instead of sleeping, she lay there for hours, wondering exactly where Draco went, and if he had finished whatever he was doing with the students practicing dark magic, and if he had bothered to come looking for her at all after that.

Witch Weekly wasn't read widely by the students at Hogwarts, only a few girls here or there, mostly in Slytherin. But by the time the magazine was delivered that morning, she would be ousted, and wouldn't be able to tell Draco how she felt in the way she imagined. After the Yule Ball, she wasn't sure she wanted to say it at all…in fact, she might have wanted to say the opposite.

Anastasia didn't know what she was going to do, only that she had to do it.

She brushed her hair in the vanity mirror, then opened the small tub of Fleamont Potter's hair product. It was half empty.

"You must use this every day or your hair will grow back to where it was," the witch at the salon had told her. Narcissa bought her two extra vats of it. Anastasia tried not to think too hard about losing her relationship with her godmother over this…no matter how tenuous it was to begin with.

Instead of smoothing it into her ringlets like she did every day, she closed the vat and used none.

She had to do it today or she wouldn't do it at all.

Anastasia trekked down to the Great Hall with the other Gryffindors, a heaviness in her stomach.

The Great Hall had been half-way undecorated, deglittered and defrosted, back to its normal mahogany and gold color scheme. The buffet tables had been left out, now filled with breakfast items like muffins and fruit. Everyone was dressed in their loungewear for a lazy post-Christmas holiday, drowsily yawning and talking with friends.

Draco stood in line with the Slytherins, grabbing his morning apple when she appeared behind him. She reached for his hand to pull him away, but as her hand brushed his, he glared over his shoulder.

"Finally, there you are," he whispered. "Where did you go last night?"

Anastasia took a deep breath, and then processed his words. "Wait, where did I go? You're the one who up and left me—"

"I came back, and you'd vanished! Pansy told me you got bored of me and went to bed!" Draco's eyes glowered, but there was something else there, a glint of fear.

Anastasia stopped, her face flushed with anger. Hermione, who had been hovering nearby, began to raise her voice to defend her, but Anastasia put up her hand and shook her head.

It was the opposite of what she tried to do yesterday, but probably for the best.

"We're done," she said simply, a slight crack in her tone.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"We're done! You want to believe that twit, go ahead. It's not worth it anymore. Just leave me alone," she said, feeling her heart rip in two. "Run off with your friends and spend your time how you'd like…with your bloody dark magic rituals." She said the last words very quietly.

"What—" he blushed. Everyone was watching. He lowered his voice to a whisper again. "Anastasia, you can't, we—I didn't."

"Course I can," she stated bravely. "It was this way before, and it can be again."

Draco looked her up and down, furious.

"No! You're not breaking up with me. You can't do this. Anastasia!" he shouted. He had never raised his voice at her before. She bit her lip, unyielding. It didn't stop tears from welling in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I can't do this anymore. It's too much."

Draco stared around at all his classmates. He began shaking his head in disbelief. At the teacher's table, McGonagall looked like she might jump over it to get to them, afraid of what the boy might do. Albus held her back by one shoulder, hesitant to intervene himself. Snape found something interesting to look at off in one corner, his lips stretching nervously at the ends.

Overwhelmed, the Slytherin prince turned back to his ill-fated love.

"Fine. If that's what you want," Draco strained. His eyes shone glossily.

"It is," she responded, tears spilling over. "It is."

Draco stumbled out of the room, dumbfounded.

Anastasia saw everyone watching, wiped her eyes, held her head high, and then escaped out the backdoor of the hall.

The backdoor went straight to the headmaster's suite, but she wound her way back down the front entrance, all the way back to the castle's farthest staircase, all the way down to the unused wing of the castle. She wandered through the empty halls, lost.

She broke up with him. She broke up with him and broke her own heart. But it was better this way, wasn't it? This way, she couldn't get hurt. She wouldn't have to put up with Draco's blood purist tendencies. She wouldn't have to deal with Pansy trying to sabotage her constantly. She couldn't be hurt by dark magic. No matter what the truth was, if her godmother had designed her for her son or things simply fell together by accident, she couldn't be manipulated any longer.

She slumped down on a stump in the small snowy courtyard and sobbed into her hands. Her nails gripped at her heart. She couldn't breathe. She had to breathe.

Her heart panged with strain as the frozen air stung her lungs.

He was crying too.

"Why are you here?" a familiar voice demanded again. Anastasia looked up from her hand to see Helena Ravenclaw floating above her. The surprise jolted a spasm of breath into her chest as she thought of what to say.

"I'm sorry. I know this is kind of your space…I just needed to be alone."

The ghost in the medieval dress folded her arms frustratedly.

"Well, you're not alone. I'm here. And I don't like dark magic here either, so if you brought any, take it with you."

"Right," Anastasia said rose to her feet. "Wait, what about dark magic?"

The grey woman's eyes judged her shrewdly.

"I don't interfere with the activities of mortals. If you have any, take it away," she said flippantly, floating down to another nearby stump and pretending to lounge on it.

"I don't. Have you seen someone practicing dark magic here?" Anastasia asked carefully. The woman's eyes glared her down. Anastasia wasn't dressed for the cold, and it was settling into her limbs quickly. She shivered.

"Not seen." Helena continued, "They ward the room they use so I cannot see. It keeps away ghosts and poltergeists, so no one walks in on them. But I know they're doing it. I've seen what they leave behind. Messy, inconsiderate scoundrels."

Anastasia hugged herself, wondering if Draco was one of them. She supposed she knew he was.

"Um…I didn't come here for dark magic, I…I need somewhere to cry for a minute. Please let me stay."

The ghost floated up to a kneeling position.

"Are you crying because of your obscurus?" she asked, curiously.

"No…no I got rid of that years ago…no I'm crying because I broke up with someone."

"The Malfoy boy?"

"You know?"

"The whole castle knows. But I've heard girls cry over breakups…your cry…it sounds worse," she observed.

Anastasia focused on her breath once more. They couldn't break up and storm off only to end up in the hospital wing together moments later.

"Yes well…you would too if you were connected to them by magic and you had to break up for your own sanity even though you loved them," she explained calmly.

Helena judged her carefully now, nodding.

"Like by a lifeline?"

Anastasia's eyes hung open in shock. She didn't understand how anyone could understand exactly what she meant by her vague description. "Don't tell anyone. Please, it could put us in danger."

Even saying it aloud, Anastasia felt her feelings for Draco snap back to her. She couldn't bear it if he were hurt. She couldn't bear to not be with him, but here she was. She chose it, and she was afraid.

Helena's eyes grew solemn, understanding even, as she stared into Anastasia's soul.

"I hear lots of things…I don't have anyone to tell," she clarified.

Helena floated across to sit beside her, suddenly sympathetic.

"You did the right thing."

Anastasia continued glaring, she got up and walked a few steps away.

"How do you know? Why do you care?"

Helena stood up and hovered over the courtyard, a gray pillar.

"Lifelines are dangerous…but you must be careful now."

"Why?" Anastasia dared ask. "What do you know?"

"They can be even more dangerous when the two are apart. The lifeline magic wasn't meant to be strained."

As Helena floated away, Anastasia noted the dark stain on the bodice of her ghostly dress.