Thank you so much for your reviews, everyone! You're the best! And welcome to the newest reviewer, Rhilus! Thanks so much!
I wouldn't have included it but since you guys said you wanted his reaction, here it is.
Hope you enjoy.
"So that's why!" She exclaimed, hitting her fist into her palm. He winced. His eyes lost focus as he stared hard at his lap, mentally kicking himself. He would keep doing that for the rest of his life. He would punish himself witless, beat the living daylights out of himself until there were none of his senses left. He would never make himself forget this, and he would pay the price, continuing to suffer endlessly when she left him. And she had every right to do so. But it had to be said. He had never been worthy of her and this just proved that he was doomed to a life sentence of solitude.
Her gaze snapped up to meet his but he was not looking. He was hardly listening, nor noticing how she played it down. He was drowning in himself, the shadows eating him alive, scraping at his insides, puncturing his heart. He crumbled into his empty shell, guilt swallowing him whole.
Erza took his hands and he nearly jumped at that. From below, he dared to sneak a glance at her, eyes clashing with a reassurance that did not make any sense to him.
"She was my first kiss, too!" She said, making his eyes snap open. Her expression clouded with concern and she tilted her head, lowering herself to be able to see his face. "Jellal?" She asked, voice retreating carefully. He felt his hands tremble in hers, wanting to take them away, finding them not to be working. She noticed, gaze flashing down and back up but he had averted his own. "Jellal," she tried again.
He opened his mouth to fight her off – he could not handle her affection when he had just trampled on it. His breath got stuck when she took it, pressing her lips onto his. She cupped his cheeks, preventing any escape. Slowly, he felt his defences lower. His hands calmed, though they did not dare to reach out for her just yet.
"I don't deserv-" he tried when she freed him but it only earned him another kiss. Was that his punishment? If so, he would quite willingly be suffocated. Erza poured every ounce of passion she had into their kiss, pushing him into the corner, tugging on his face to close the gap between them. His shackles fell with the touch of her lips.
"I finally understand," she panted at last, smiling about something he did not grasp. "It was you," she snaked her arms around him, hugging him close, nuzzling her face into his chest, "it was always you; I'm so glad…" she sighed.
"I… don't get it…"
It had taken until the last station for him to understand. He was not sure whether he agreed with her that they had in fact been each other's first kiss through Kagura, but she was happy with it and so was he.
Several trips were necessary to get everything to the house and they just stacked it in the hall or where ever there was space. After contemplating for a while, both decided it would be better not to get caught with even the slightest hangover symptoms, and so they napped the day away – for safety reasons, of course.
Jellal hardly slept, though he drifted off and awoke several times. Erza was clutching his shirt as compensation for not using a blanket. Every time he woke up, she had found a new position, hooked another limb onto him or just generally crawled and climbed further until she was lying on top of him.
He always listened for her breathing. When finding it to be calm and steady, he dared to run his fingers through her hair, savouring each second of it. It ended with a ball of hair on the bed and at some point, getting stuck. He panicked slightly. Wiggling his hand, he tried not to let her feel it at her scalp. He reached over her with his other arm, trying to pluck his hand free, sighing deeply in relief upon succeeding.
"What are you doing?" Erza lazily let him know to be awake. He tensed and she giggled. Blushing, Jellal avoided the playfully teasing spark in her eyes.
"N-nothing…" he mumbled and she beamed a broad smile, propping her chin up on his chest.
"Right." She raised a brow. "What time is it?" She asked, and he glanced at the last beams of sun that shone through the curtain, estimating. No time he would have said could have gotten her to leave her spot, he realised when she nodded absently, closing her eyes again.
"We forgot to buy flooring for the hall," he remarked and she hummed in response.
"I told you we should have made a list," she muttered, folding her arms beneath her head, "but there's no space for it now, anyway."
"It could go into the cellar,"
"We have a cellar?" We. His head was ringing with that word. We. Our cellar. He could not believe that she had actually accepted – at least it seemed that way. He had not really been given any time to think about it and especially not at that moment, but it was good that way. He might not have dared otherwise and since this was the outcome, he could not be happier.
Then again, he knew that he had no excuses anymore. She would pay the heck out of his loan.
"Yeah. Have you never noticed those bulkhead doors outside?"
"Bulk-what?" She tilted her head and he wanted to just squish her in a hug. She was too adorable sometimes – most of the time – and if he did not trap her in his arms, he felt it could all poof into smoke and vanish, turning out as nothing but a dream.
"The doors outside," he hesitated, then fought to say it as casually as possible, "between our house and the next," he felt a warm glow inside him. Their house. Holding up one arm, he tilted it to draw a diagonal line. "They go like this against the wall; I assume it had been used for food storage or coals maybe." He explained. He used his previously raised arm as an excuse to rest it on her back. He still wanted to hug her.
"How big is it? The cellar,"
"The size of the house," he said. A smile crept across his lips when he saw her eyes sparkle at her newest discovery. "I thought it'd be handy for all of those suitcases of yours – then you wouldn't have to walk back and forth all the time." He proposed. It was difficult to keep from chuckling at her ambitious expression; it made her look like a child, plotting to snitch some candy.
He decided to wait with revealing that there was an attic, too; he would save up that reaction for when he needed it. And because it could hardly get any better than this.
Finally, Jellal could not stand it anymore, bringing both arms around her. Erza smiled, then her eyes widened in surprise when he tightened his embrace, squeezing her once. She yelped when he rolled up in one go to sit upright, still holding her close.
"Let's eat," he said, releasing her. She had none of it. Erza hugged him back before he could even think about getting up, conveniently blocking his legs with herself.
"Already?" She joked and he had to laugh.
"We need some strength for tomorrow," he reminded. They had jobs the following days, at least it was the plan to get some. He for one desperately needed the money and she would have to turn up at the guild rather sooner than later to avoid even more questions than there were already waiting.
Neither changed as they shuffled into the kitchen. Jellal put the kettle on. He followed her gaze to the window, leaning against the counter. Erza glanced at him shortly, then almost shyly away again. He frowned.
"Wouldn't it be possible to put a wooden board across these two to sit here?" She asked, strolling to the last countertops, running a hand over both. They were opposite each other, to either side of the window.
"We can take them out entirely and have a table there," he nodded. The house was definitely missing a place to eat and since neither of them was a decent cook, they would not need the extra storage. Plus, he had already pondered about having furniture in the hall and a chest of drawers would be just right.
He looked up when he felt her eyes on him. She turned away again, giving a hum of agreement.
"What's wrong?" He asked. She did not react – at least not with an answer. Erza rubbed her knees together. "What?" He started to be concerned, walking up to her, looking around whether there was something amiss. Or if she had somehow broken something again.
She took his arm and pulled him down, pecking his lips, surprising him.
"Nothing." Erza strolled back to the kettle that boiled with water. "I just really wanted to do that." Jellal closed his mouth, astonishment turning into a gentle smile. So then she was having those thoughts, too. And somehow, that weakness of her gave him the strength to act upon his own insecurities. He put a hand over hers, preventing her from starting on a meal or even tea.
"I think I have a better idea of what to do…" he murmured above her ear.
"So… now what?" Erza glanced up at Jellal. He furrowed his brow, as uncertain as her.
"I'm not sure… I haven't exactly done this before…"
"I really should have asked someone how to do this; someone more experienced," she averted her gaze from him, letting it travel downwards.
"But wouldn't that blow our cover?" He asked. He could not help but feel awkward and somewhat helpless. She had said that she wanted to reveal it, but only if someone asked. The lack of knowledge was not something to be embarrassed about since she was as clueless as him, though he felt as if it would have been better if either of them had done this before.
"I guess you're right… maybe Wendy would keep it a secret," Erza interrupted his thoughts.
"She's too young and I doubt she has the experience," he said, not wanting to drag the innocent Dragon Slayer into their dilemma, "at least when it comes to this,"
"True. Charle is still on our case as well," she sighed, blushing.
"What about Lucy? She would be trustworthy with this, wouldn't she?"
"Lucy has lived in a mansion her entire life – her father would never let her do any of this."
"Who is the most knowledgeable in Fairy Tail?"
"I'd say Mira, but she would never let this go; we'll be doomed…" Erza grimaced. She did not feel confident enough to just try, though she feared she had no other choice. She really should have paid more attention, she told herself, having missed her chance to ask questions.
"Perhaps there's a book in the public library," Jellal proposed but she shook her head.
"That's closed now," she countered. Her arms were starting to get tired in their position and her back hurt. She could feel Jellal's stare, his breath almost reaching down to her ear.
"Does Fairy Hills not have one?"
"Not on this topic, no… maybe Levy does – she must have something, but she doesn't live at Fairy Hills anymore," Erza pondered. She did not dare to turn her face again and catch a glance of his face. She knew he was insecure as well; she could hear it in his voice.
"Would it be too late to ask?"
"That's not what I'm worried about. She lives with Gajeel and he… has a keen sense of smell, he'd know," she sighed again, "Could you contact Meredy?"
"She knows as much as I do, I'm afraid…"
"Hm…" both fell silent for a moment. They both knew it was inevitable.
"I guess there's no other way to find out but to just… try," Jellal said. His hand wandered to hers for support.
"Alright…" Erza's brows knitted together in concentration, "here goes," she carefully moved her hand down. She licked her lips as she focused. "I just… squeeze it?" She asked, receiving a nod out of the corner of her eye. He gave an affirmative hum.
"Take it slow," his voice was hushed, his attention fully on her actions, "and mind the tip." She hesitated. Then she followed his words, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes widened. Forgetting to move her hand, Erza soon pulled a face, panicking when everything overflowed. "Don't stop," Jellal guided her hand when she almost pulled away, "just…" he narrowed his eyes, "trail…" he helped her correct her mistake, smoothly creating a line with the piping bag she clung to so fiercely.
"Here, you take it," Erza slid her hand out of his. She took the platter beneath the cake by the rims, turning it as he did his best to make the line of frosting as straight as possible. Neither was breathing for a moment, almost a minute. They stayed in sync, though it hardly helped.
It looked horrible. The entire cake was a wreck to begin with. Half of it had burnt in the oven, another part afterwards on the stove where she had accidentally left it on the hotplate that they had wanted to use to melt chocolate. Which had burnt, too.
"Hm…" he straightened and so did she. Her back was aching from leaning over the counter for so long. "It's…" he started, not finishing. 'Interesting' was the nicest description he could come up with, though it was too polite, still.
"It doesn't look anything like the one on the picture," she offered and he nodded sadly. "Whoever makes a recipe that doesn't explain how to decorate, anyway?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest, a pout on her lips. He had to smile despite himself.
"How about next time," he stepped closer to her, lifting a hand to put it on her shoulder, "we buy one instead?" He faltered, nearly stumbling when she leaned back, into him. Smiling, he watched her lower lip shove out even further, eyes avoiding to look at him. And the cake.
"Not an option. We'll just have to start smaller." She declared. She never gave up, not completely. Her heart skipped a beat when he reached his arm around her waist instead, accepting her request, though careful not to touch any wounds – they had to be healed by now, but he could never be too cautious. She leaned back further, fully against him. Even though their efforts resulted in a pathetic outcome, she did not feel as crestfallen as she would have thought. It was okay to fail together; they were not rivals, they were a team.
The cake slumped together. Both pulled a face.
"Eat out?"
"Eat out."
Once again, if there's anything you'd like to happen, let me know, because I'm making an outline to fit my ideas in.
Thanks for letting me know what you think!