Chapter 50

The first day of the rest of his life

Zoro awoke to the sound of the voices of the Straw Hat crew around him. Lying on the bench, he also heard the sound of cutlery nearby and finally opened his eyes. In the galley, his companions sat down at the table and the swordsman straightened up suddenly, his senses alert. He had just realized that Sanji was no longer by his side and he had not heard him leave.

Immediately though, he spotted the blond leaning over his frying pan behind the counter and his shoulders relaxed. He then noticed that the atmosphere was peaceful as Brook's voice happily rose among Robin's light laughter.

Zoro ran a hand over his face, tired. The night had not been easy and despite appearances, he doubted that the cook was calm. The events of the day before were probably still in his memory, as in that of the entire crew.

The swordsman stood up to take his seat among his friends around the breakfast table, watching from the corner of his eye the blond who was flipping pancakes. If Sanji had fallen back to sleep quite easily after their companions had left, his night had been restless and Zoro had been awakened by his heavy breathing even though the cook's eyes were still closed. At this point, Sanji was still leaning against his shoulder and the swordsman had thought he was having another nightmare. He had hesitated on whether to wake him or not, and ultimately remained still when the blond had stopped moving. He was about to relax again when Sanji had jumped before suddenly opening his eyes. He had put a hand to his heart and the swordsman had felt its infernal rhythm in the silence of the night at the same time as him.

Zoro had immediately identified the problem. Sanji was having a panic attack, probably massive, and he hadn't been that surprised. After the shock that the blond had suffered a few hours earlier and which had numbed him, his mind and body were processing what had happened and the aftershock would probably be terrible.

The cook had obviously reached the same conclusion because he had gotten up to try to regain control of himself but it was already too late. His breathing had increased in a few seconds and he had almost doubled over, shivering violently. Zoro had come closer when the blond had started to dig his hands into his hair as if to pull it out and he had forced him to sit on the seat in front of him. He had observed him quickly, noting his eyes were out of focus and his skin icy despite his clothes. The swordsman had trapped his hands in one of his own to prevent them from pulling on his hair again and grabbed his chin with the other so that the cook was forced to look at him.

Zoro had remembered Chopper's words and called the blond until his distant gaze had finally clung to his own. Patiently but firmly, he had asked him to focus on his voice, telling him to slow down the pace of his breathing. Sanji had bordered on hyperventilating and Zoro had feared that he would pass out like the time he had collapsed after trying to attack him. The fencer didn't allow the blond to let his gaze drift for a second. He had used the pressure of his hand around his then on his shoulders to bring him back.

The cook's breathing had slowed down a little after a long time and Sanji had slowly blinked. His stiff body had begun to relax and he had struggled not to collapse as the anxiety finally ebbed. In the end, he had fallen against the swordsman, exhausted, and Zoro had only noticed much later that he had continued for several minutes to make small circular movements on his back to soothe him.

Sanji had fallen asleep against him and after a moment of hesitation, the swordsman had gently fallen backwards on the bench, taking his companion with him. The blond hadn't moved and Zoro had left Sanji's head on his chest as his breathing had become deeper. He had grabbed the blanket that had half fallen on the floor with his fingertips in order to spread it as best as possible over the cook. Then it hadn't been long before the swordsman closed his eyes and fell asleep until the crew arrived.

Suddenly, Sanji placed a plate full of omelet in front of the swordsman after serving Brook to his right and Zoro snapped out of his thoughts. He raised his head and their eyes met. The cook didn't look away, even nodding imperceptibly in his direction. His face was still pale and marked but his body language was relaxed and the fencer felt his muscles relax in turn.

He then grabbed his fork to start his share without further delay, mingling with the gentle atmosphere that bathed the galley. Around them, his companions were not as noisy or cheerful as usual but Luffy was happily digging into the mountain of pancakes placed in front of him and even Chopper was chatting peacefully with Jinbei.

Sanji had probably told them what happened before he woke up and the swordsman glanced at the navigator who was sipping her tea while reading the newspaper alongside the archaeologist. The two young women had gone to town after the blond had gone out the day before. They had wanted to only buy the newspapers of the day but on the way, they had come across a woman who was less frightened or more desperate than the others and she had given them interesting information for their initial project to help the population. When they had returned, they had waited in vain for the cook to tell him about it.

After a while, Zoro saw Nami fold up the newspapers she was holding and he understood that their initial plan still stood.

"A resident brought us some important news yesterday," she said to the blond who was clearing the first plates. "A promising lead that could allow us to help the islanders and leave them with a positive image."

"Really?" A glimmer of hope shone in the cook's eyes and the navigator nodded. "We verified what she said and went back to the downtown building with Robin this morning. We had confirmation that a manned flight was indeed in orbit around the earth. The shuttle has been trying to return for weeks now but their command center has failed and they can't fix it."

"Without ground-based navigation, they cannot navigate or land!" Brook got alarmed.

"That's the whole problem," the redhead agreed. "They're gonna run out of oxygen and food up there."

"They're trying to restore the controls but the Vinsmoke technology is complex, not to mention that they destroyed part of it when they left the premises," Robin continued.

"What can we do to help them?" Usopp asked, his bowl of cereal in hand.

"We could rebuild the control panel with them," Franky suggested.

"This would require recovering crucial information that the Vinsmokes had used," the archaeologist informed them. "Without a thorough study of their technology, it'll be impossible to achieve in the expected time."

"Their scientists have already searched the water tower and the workshop near the port since these were their launch complex and command center. They even searched the center north of the island where you went, Sanji-kun," Nami continued, "They found nothing."

"Yet it is where there'd be the greatest chance of finding precise documents," the cook pointed out to them. "I'm pretty sure this was their headquarters."

"Maybe this information was destroyed when they left," Chopper said.

"I'm not sure," the blond whispered, "Everything stayed as it was, they just left when they were no longer interested. What they destroyed were the buildings the residents had built."

"Could they have missed it?" The musician asked.

"Maybe," Sanji agreed. "There were several closed doors and I didn't try to open them. It looked pretty big and I can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure I didn't see half the rooms. I was… a little distracted."

No one reacted to the obvious and Zoro spoke after a few seconds.

"If they haven't been able to access the entire building, they can't be sure that the information they're looking for isn't over there."

"This is the most logical hypothesis and our only lead," Jinbei noted. "Without this information, we won't be able to help them either."

"If we recover at least some data, I might be able to do something," Franky affirmed. "I'm starting to figure out how they work since working on the Raid Suit!"

"It's decided then, we gotta go!" Luffy declared.

"It's not a bad idea but does, uh… Does it seem okay if you go back there so quickly, Sanji?" The sniper asked with apprehension.

At these words, all eyes converged on the cook and from his counter where he was stacking his dishes, the man bit his lips in front of his friends.

"Well… If I'm not alone," he murmured after a moment. "I don't think it'd be wise for me to explore the place on my own again…"

"Of course, my friend!" Brook exclaimed.

"You can count on us, bro!" The cyborg agreed.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," Chopper reminded him. "We can go there while you rest on the Sunny."

"No, I wanna help the inhabitants. And then…" Sanji looked down, "It's weird but somehow, I need to confront what they did. If only to prove to myself that… I'm different from them."

The cook quickly met the swordsman's gaze before looking at the rest of the crew then lowering his eyes again.

"Besides, if you're here, you can prevent me from overdoing it if I can't stop," he added under his breath.

"Of course, we'll be with you," Nami assured him.

"It's not unusual to want to put yourself in the presence of what hurts you," Chopper said. "Assessing and understanding reality is a way to appropriate it in order to move forward. You just need to be careful so that you don't reduce it to the violence of the acts you saw."

"I'll do my best," the blond whispered.

"You have to follow your instincts," Jinbei encouraged him.

"Remember that you don't have to feel alone to carry this burden," Robin reminded him.

"And don't forget that you're not like them," Zoro muttered.

"That's for sure!" Luffy exclaimed happily as he stuffed his last pancakes into his mouth. "It's with you that I'll become the Pirate King!"

Sanji felt the warmth of his captain's words envelop him and a smile stretched his lips without realizing it as he gently placed his dishes in the sink. Even so, no one around him missed it.

Sanji felt his nervosity growing as he walked up the beach for the second time in two days. He knew that around the next blend, the northern forest would appear and the center would be only a few steps away. Behind him, his crewmates walked in silence.

Chewing his cigarette to keep himself busy, the cook went over the last twenty-four hours. He felt like he was emerging from a fog and his memories of the day before until Zoro found him were uncertain. He knew he had wandered for hours in the Vinsmoke laboratory but he didn't remember the details and this aspect more than any other worried him. Had he really been reading that logbook all this time or had something else happened that he didn't remember? Had he discovered something that triggered his shock, or was it the endless descriptions of the torture the locals had suffered that finally made him lose his mind? Was he going to suddenly remember something when he got back there? Would this trigger another trauma or would he go insane for good this time?

The blond clenched his fists in his pockets. He had begun to reconnect with himself when Zoro had forced him out of his torpor. His words had been cruelly necessary and Sanji readily acknowledged their truth but he still found it difficult to accept them. All he was sure of was that the swordsman had cut through the darkness in which he was lost and even if his speech didn't make complete sense yet, he remembered the reality of his companion's arms around his body when he had finally become aware of the rain falling on them and the feeling of security that had dawned on him.

Luffy's presence had had the same effect when he had realized that the crew had appeared in the galley. His captain had immediately figured out that he was not able to face his friends' questions when he didn't understand what had happened and Luffy had offered him a protected space to rest. Despite his relief at not being in the spotlight any longer, Sanji had felt the need to continue knowing the swordsman was close. Zoro had put into words what he was going through and he had been a bulwark to contain his emotions at the port. He was the one who best understood the issues he was suffering from and Sanji trusted him as much to stop him if he completely lost his mind as to anchor him in the present.

And once again, the swordsman had lived up to his companion's expectations that night. When anxiety had awakened him, Sanji was already no longer in control of himself and the shadows of the night had only accentuated the terror of his day. Zoro's voice had slowly brought him back to reality and the contact of his skin on his own had ended up relaxing him. He had barely registered that he was falling asleep against him, and it was only when he had woken up a few hours later that he had become aware of their position.

At that point, Zoro was still sleeping soundly and Sanji had felt himself blush. He had had the impression of perverting the generosity of the swordsman and he had gotten up silently. With clearer ideas, he had headed outside to smoke a cigarette in the fresh dawn air.

It didn't take long for the crew to appear and Sanji had seen them hesitating to join him on the first floor. No doubt they hadn't slept much either, worried about their companion, and the cook had nodded to invite them to come upstairs. His friends were probably just waiting for this signal and when they had all surrounded him a few seconds later, the blond had read their relief as much as their affection in their eyes. This tenderness had enveloped him better than any words could and he had simply opened his arms in return. Immediately, the crew had rushed there and their embrace had been enough to calm everyone's anxieties without a word being necessary.

Afterwards, the cook had naturally resumed his place behind the worktop and while his crewmates had sat down around the table, the discussions and laughter had reappeared. The preparation of breakfast had been quick and efficient and everyone had begun to eat their share with appetite when Zoro had opened his eyes. The swordsman hadn't made any comments but Sanji had sensed his questions and he had reassured him with a look when he had set down his plate.

Despite his embarrassment because of his feelings, there was no time for dissimulation and the blond had wanted to be sure that the swordsman knew that he was deeply grateful to him. Zoro had seemed to understand the message and the meal had continued in the simplest way until Nami shared the information that one of the residents had told her.

Sanji was really happy about the possibility of helping the population and that's why he hadn't hesitated to say that he wanted to join the crew to find what they were missing. As he had admitted to his friends, he was also convinced that this step was necessary for him to overcome what his biological family had been putting on him for too long. At the same time, he could not deny that this confrontation oppressed him but he had taken the swordsman's words to heart: if he didn't get rid of this demon that were the Vinsmokes in his mind, it would haunt him all his life and Sanji didn't want to yield an ounce of supremacy to this tyrant anymore.

Suddenly, the sun dazzled him and the cook noticed that he had left the protective shade of the trees to emerge onto the meadow. Sanji froze. In front of him, the immense stone statues towered over him once again and he felt his breath growing heavy. Yet he clenched his fists and looked up, Zoro's words echoing in his mind.

He may have had the same name as them, but he was still a fundamentally different human being. He had made choices none of them could have imagined and he would continue to create his own path, no matter what. It didn't matter where he came from and what his family would have liked him to be. Today, he faced their frozen faces at the same time as his past to recover the present with which he would build his future. Today was the first day of the rest of his life.

At this moment, Sanji noticed that Robin had approached before stopping to his right, her gaze fixed on the statues in front of them. Behind her, the rest of his companions followed suit and took their places one after the other at his side. In the end, Luffy came out of the forest to stand still to the left of his cook, staring at those who were looking at them without seeing them.

Zoro slid one of his swords out of its sheath and Nami planted her Clima-Tact in the green grass at her feet. Usopp tested the elasticity of his kabuto and Chopper bit into a rumble ball. Brook began to hum and Franky cracked the bones in his neck. For their part, Jinbei and Robin remained perfectly still, their eyes fixed straight on their enemies. Finally, Luffy pulled his hat down over his eyes before taking a step forward and the rest of his companions instantly followed him.

Sanji felt his eyes brimming with tears at the sight and he took a deep, shaky breath before moving forward as well. It didn't matter what would happen once inside because more than ever, he was sure that he wouldn't be alone.

When the crew returned to the Sunny a few hours later, the Straw Hat Pirates were tired but also satisfied. Among the countless rooms that they had forced the lock to enter, they had collected a lot of technical booklets and Franky was hopeful of being able to get something out of them.

Of course, they couldn't help but notice the various instruments and documents that sometimes lay on the floor and they didn't need to read them to imagine what they contained or what they had been used for. The sinister building they were pacing up and down was proof in itself and Usopp had offered to destroy it in front of the blank look of the cook the moment they arrived in a sort of autopsy room. Yet Robin had reminded them that this was the history of the island and that removing the evidence of what the inhabitants had experienced would make it even more difficult for them to overcome this trauma.

Sanji had nodded and everyone had simply moved on to the next room. This time, the blond had taken care not to read any documents and the logbook that he had left on a dresser had remained there. No one had been tempted to learn more and the cook had felt ready to face anything when they had all walked past files scattered on messy desks without a glance in their direction.

As he had progressed through the center, the cook had understood that he didn't need to know the vicious and cruel details of the experiments his family had probably been guilty of towards the population. These details were secondary and would only serve to give him nightmares.

Conversely, walking around the place with his friends allowed him to confront reality while not getting caught by its brutality. As the inhabitants would do sooner or later, he acknowledged his past to better distance himself from it. He didn't turn a blind eye to these atrocities but he didn't allow himself to be devoured by their vision either. He simply drew from it the stronger resolution to demonstrate to all those who would like to see it that the third son of the Vinsmokes was in no way like the rest of his family.

He was doing it for Zeff who had inculcated all the principles he followed today, for his mother who had done everything to prevent him from becoming the monster his father wanted and even for Reiju who had tried to fight against her dark side. But also for Luffy and all his crewmates who had never stopped believing in him and who had never likened him to his brothers.

Also, he was doing it for himself. Because his rational side knew that he didn't deserve to continue suffering for something he had no control over, even if he didn't feel it yet. This torture made no sense and it had to stop, even though the blond had trouble imagining where he could find this peace that had always eluded him.

So even though he had trembled while crossing some corridors, Sanji had continued to move forward, the bodies of his friends surrounding him like so many guardrails preventing him from falling. He was not completely convinced that he was worthy of such an honor but he particularly remembered Nami's words about the forgiveness he needed to grant himself and this anger towards himself he needed to let go of. He knew he still had a way to go about that, but today he was taking a concrete step towards his freedom.

"Oh, we got a message!"

Sanji looked up at the same time as his other companions while Luffy rushed towards the Den-Den Mushi sleeping in a corner of the galley. The straw hat boy pressed its shell against which Franky had put up a small answering machine and immediately, the animal woke up.

"Tony-ya, I need to treat several second-degree su-superficial burns that are not healing as expected. We are on the open sea and depending on your position, your crew may be the one who can provide me with medicine the quickest. I have enough to pay you and there is no life-threatening emergency but… these wounds are painful. If you are on an island, I would be grateful if you could inquire about this."

The Den-Den Mushi fell asleep again and a wave of concern ran through the crew of the Straw Hat boy. It was obvious that the surgeon was the one who needed treatment, not only from the sound of his voice but also because everyone had in mind the fact that Law had suffered severe burns when his submarine had been damaged. Chopper had given him first aid then the other captain had naturally taken over. The little reindeer was well placed to know that these kinds of wounds were difficult to treat, especially since Law had stayed in salt water for a long time before being treated, and he had insisted that the surgeon be careful when the two crews had parted ways. Unfortunately, it seemed that his fears were not unfounded.

Luffy was already reaching out to call the Hearts' submarine when his gaze met that of the ship's doctor who nodded firmly in return.

"I'm gonna check my stock!"

Musical inspiration for the scene where the Straw Hat crew join Sanji in front of the statues: Freedom Fighters - Two Steps from Hell.

How are they to help the residents and in what condition will they find Law? Will Sanji manage to break away from the shadow of the Vinsmokes and how will his relationship with Zoro grow?

So much suspense!