As the sun rose on the horizon, the birds were singing in the trees, and the morning air was filled with the sounds of chirping and tweeting. The morning was beautiful, but Rosa was feeling anything but.
After the argument with Levi, Rosa had been unable to sleep that night. She had been tossing and turning in her bed, her heart aching, her head throbbing. Eventually, she had given up, and had decided to go on a walk, hoping that it would help her clear her mind. It had not helped.
Rosa walked down the stairs, and stepped out into the courtyard, the warm morning sunlight kissing her skin. She took a deep breath, the crisp, fresh air filling her lungs, and the faint smell of flowers tickling her nose. The breeze was cool and refreshing, and she could hear the gentle rustling of the leaves in the trees.
She looked up, her gaze fixated on the sky, and her heart sank— She missed him. She missed Levi. She missed his company, his voice, and his smile. She missed his presence, his warmth, and his scent. She missed him, and it was tearing her apart.
Wiping away the tear that was threatening to spill, Rosa took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. It was humiliating, being this attached to someone who didn't reciprocate her feelings. It was embarrassing, and pathetic, and Rosa felt stupid for letting herself get carried away like this. Levi was probably happy, relieved, to have her out of his life, and it only made her heart ache more.
She had thought that Levi cared about her, had thought that they were friends, that he had begun to see her as something more than just a subordinate, but she had been wrong. Of course, they had never been a real couple, and it was obvious that he didn't have any feelings for her, but she had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she mattered to him. Even only a little bit.
Apparently, she was wrong.
Rosa bit her lip, and looked down at her feet. It's better this way, she assured herself. She was no longer bound to him, and she no longer had to live a lie. It was good. It was all good.
And yet, she couldn't shake off the feeling of emptiness, and loneliness. She had grown accustomed to his presence, and now, without it, she felt hollow.
"What the hell am I doing?" Rosa sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. She had to forget about him. She had to move on, and forget that she ever had feelings for him. It was the only way to survive.
Taking a deep breath, Rosa began walking, her feet carrying her across the courtyard and towards the training grounds. The sun was higher now, and the sky was a bright, blue shade.
When she arrived at the training grounds, she saw that most of the gang was already there. They were busy putting on their gear, preparing for their training session. After grabbing her gear from the storage shed, she joined the others, and started putting on her harness and straps. She was just finishing up when she was greeted by a familiar face.
"Good morning, Rosa." Hange smiled at her, her ponytail swaying in the breeze as she pranced over to her. "Ready for today's training?"
"Morning." Rosa tried to muster up a brave face, but her friend could see something wasn't right.
"Uhm… Are you okay?" Hange frowned, her smile disappearing.
"Yeah, just... Haven't slept well." Rosa sighed.
"Oh, that's a shame." Hange eyed her skeptically, unsure if to take her word for it. "Well, I hope you'll feel better once you're up in the air." She smiled, giving Rosa a pat on the shoulder. "Erwin's about to join us— He wants to make sure everyone has gotten the hang of the new squad formation we tested on the last expedition."
"Okay." Rosa nodded, strapping her gear to her thighs and hips.
As Hange turned around, Rosa's gaze shifted, her eyes landing on Levi, who was talking to Erwin. The man's face was expressionless, but Rosa could see the dark circles under his eyes, the tiredness that seemed to emanate from his very being. It was obvious that he was exhausted, and Rosa felt her chest tighten. Something was wrong, she could tell... But as Levi had made it very clear last night, it wasn't her place to worry about him.
"Attention, everyone." Erwin's voice boomed, the Commander stepping forward. "Before we begin, I'd like to say a few words."
Rosa quickly snapped back to reality, her focus shifting back to Erwin.
"I'd like to congratulate all of you for making it this far. You've shown remarkable progress and dedication, and I couldn't be more proud of you." Erwin stated, his blue eyes scanning the group. "I know we've all suffered great losses, and that the future may seem bleak, but I assure you, we will get through this. Together."
Rosa and the other soldiers nodded, murmuring their approval.
"Now, without further ado, let's get started; Today's training will focus on improving your teamwork and coordination skills." Erwin explained, his hands clasped behind his back. "We will be using the new formation that we've developed based on the information gathered during our latest expedition. We'll begin in a few minutes, so make sure you're ready."
Rosa took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the day ahead. Her mind was still a mess, but she knew that she had a job to do. She had a duty, a responsibility, and she couldn't afford to be distracted, not when she finally had been able to rejoin the ranks.
"Walch." Erwin called her over.
"Yes, Sir." Rosa approached the Commander, giving him a quick salute.
"Since you joined us so unexpectedly during the last mission, we're still to appoint you to a specific squad." Erwin explained, his eyes sweeping over the crowd. "I'm assuming you'd prefer to be in the same squad as-"
Seeing the Commander subtly turn his head in Levi's direction, Rosa's chest tightened.
"With all due respect, Commander—" Rosa interrupted him, her voice calm and steady. "I'd like to be appointed to the Section Commander Hange's squad, if possible."
"Is that so?" Erwin's brows furrowed, his expression turning slightly concerned. He quickly recovered, though, and his usual, stoic mask slipped back in place. "Well, then, consider yourself assigned to Squad Hange, effective immediately."
"Thank you, Sir." Rosa nodded.
Making her way towards her squad, Rosa felt relieved; She wouldn't have to work with Levi, which meant she would have no reason to interact with him. It was the best solution for both of them. How he had glanced over at her direction when she had been talking with Erwin hadn't escaped her notice, though; Levi had been expressionless as usual, but Rosa had sensed a certain... disappointment, perhaps, in his demeanor. It was a subtle, almost imperceptible change, but she had noticed it, nevertheless.
But why would he feel disappointed? She wondered. A tiny, treacherous part of her dared to hope, maybe, just maybe, he was sad because he was losing his pretend-fiancée, his pretend-partner, his pretend-future-wife. Maybe, just maybe, he actually had been happy with her, and was saddened by her leaving.
Rosa's brow furrowed. It was stupid to think that, especially after the way he had reacted last night. He had been rude and harsh, and he had made it very clear that he was annoyed by her, that he didn't want her around.
"Rosa, over here!" Hange waved her over, a wide grin on her face.
"I guess you heard?" Rosa said as she stopped beside the brunette, giving her a small smile.
"Of course." Hange chuckled. "I'm glad you chose to join my squad."
"I'm happy too." Rosa smiled.
"How come you didn't want to join Levi's squad, though?" Hange tilted her head, a mischievous smile appearing on her lips as she continued. "You two could've used the opportunity to spend some quality time together."
"Oh, uh... I just... I thought it'd be better if I was placed somewhere else, that's all." Rosa shrugged, trying to play it off as no big deal. No-one had yet noticed the ring missing from her finger, and she hoped that it would stay that way; She'd have to spill the beans eventually, tell everyone that she and Captain had 'broken up', but for now, she wanted to avoid the questions, and the pitiful looks.
"Mhmm, sure." Hange smirked. "So, how's it going between you two, anyway?"
Rosa cursed internally. She should've known that Hange would ask that.
"Well, uh, we're good. I mean, we're fine." Rosa mumbled, pretending to check her straps, adjusting the buckles for no reason.
"Just fine?" Hange arched a brow, eyeing Rosa skeptically. "You don't seem too sure."
"Oh, you know how it is." Rosa managed a strained laugh. "Captain can be a bit... difficult, at times."
"He sure can." Hange laughed. "But I bet there's gotta be a softer side to him, somewhere."
"There is." Rosa admitted, and it was the truth. She had seen the softer side of him, the gentler side, and it had made her fall even harder for him.
"Ah, so you've been able to melt the old grouch's icy heart." Hange exclaimed, a grin on her face. "I knew it! You and him, you're like the perfect couple!"
Rosa grimaced. Hange didn't know half of it.
"So, when is the wedding?" Hange asked, her brown eyes sparkling with curiosity.
Rosa froze. "The wedding..?" She echoed, her eyes widening in horror.
"Yeah, you blockhead, the wedding!" Hange grinned, playfully tapping her knuckles against Rosa's temple. "You went and let Shorty put a ring on it, remember?"
Rosa's mind went blank. How was she supposed to answer that? "Oh, uh..." She mumbled, her mind racing, trying to think of a believable excuse. "Well, we, uh..."
Thankfully, Erwin's voice rang out, cutting Rosa off before she had the chance to finish her sentence. "Alright, everyone." He commanded, raising his arm. "Let's begin."
As the other soldiers gathered around the Commander, Rosa breathed a sigh of relief; She had been saved, at least for now.
"The squad leaders will lead their squads through the forest." Erwin explained. "Once you've reached your designated point, you'll wait for the signal, and then, you'll start the exercise. The aim is to test your ability to work as a team, and to coordinate your actions. You will receive further instructions once you reach your point."
And with that, the groups spread out, heading towards the forest. Rosa's group was led by Hange, and they were the first to reach their destination, the designated spot located at the edge of the woods. Two other squads were stationed nearby, and unfortunately, one of them included Levi's squad. Rosa had hoped that she'd be spared from seeing him, but no such luck.
"Okay, so Erwin is hoping that by using this formation, we'll get all the dummies taken down." Hange explained, the wind playing with her brown hair as she looked around. "You know, with a one smooth, clean sweep over the forest. It should work, if everyone does their part, and won't go soloing by themselves."
Rosa listened quietly as the others chatted among themselves. She knew the drill, and was fairly confident in her abilities. And yet, the mere presence of a certain someone made her stomach tie into knots, making her feel almost slightly nauseous.
Suddenly, a movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention. Turning her head, Rosa saw that Levi had approached the group. She held her breath as she watched him, her palms growing sweaty. And, sure enough, Levi was heading straight for her.
"Hey." Levi said quietly as he stopped in front of her, his gaze unreadable.
"Hi." Rosa managed, averting her gaze. She really didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to see him, but there was no escape.
"So, you decided to join the Shitty Glasses' Squad." Levi stated, his gaze briefly flickering to Hange, who was busy explaining the finer details of the exercise to the others.
"I did." Rosa confirmed, still not looking at him.
Levi sighed. "Why?"
"I didn't see a reason why not." Rosa replied, her tone clipped. She wasn't about to tell him that she'd done it for him, to spare him the embarrassment.
But, of course, Levi wasn't stupid, and he could read between the lines. "Are you avoiding me?" He asked, his voice low.
"What do you think?" Rosa couldn't help the bitter tone, her voice dripping with sarcasm. What had he expected? That they'd just carry on like nothing had happened? That she wouldn't be angry, or hurt?
"Rosa, listen..." Levi's tone was pleading, his words almost a whisper. "Can we talk?"
Rosa swallowed, her throat feeling tight. "Why? Why bother, Captain? All we need to do is to let everyone know that the engagement is canceled. What's there left to talk about?"
"Rosa..." Levi tried again, but Rosa cut him off.
"Thank you for all your help, Captain." She stated, her voice hard, her expression blank. "I will deal with whatever comes, on my own."
"Just- Listen to me, okay?" His frustration evident, Levi reached out, his hand gripping her arm.
Levi looked like he was about to say something, but before he had a chance, Hange had appeared next to him, a mischievous grin on her face.
"What are you doing here, Shorty?" Hange inquired, her tone teasing. "Come to check up on your fiancée?"
Rosa flinched, her body tensing. She glanced at Levi, but his expression was neutral, his face an impassive mask.
"Just wanted to make sure that Walch isn't planning on going solo." Levi replied, his tone dry.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that." Hange assured him, slinging her arm around Rosa's shoulders. "She's part of Squad Hange now. I'll be taking good care of your fiancée, no worries."
"Mmm." Levi hummed, his gaze flickering to Rosa's face for a moment. He seemed reluctant to leave, and his expression was unreadable. But then, his gray eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching, and without a word, he turned on his heels and strode away.
As Rosa watched him walk off, she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. But, it was too late for that now, and the damage was already done. There was no going back.
This was better, for both of them.
Taking a deep breath, Rosa tried to focus, tried to ignore the hollow feeling inside her chest, and the lump in her throat.
She had to move on.