Chapter 27

Lottie couldn't help but be a bit intimidated by the grand gated mansion which she and Steve approached in his car half an hour later. Silently she understood why Alex kept the wealth of his family from her. Alex was fiercely independent and wanted to prove his worth at all costs, but she couldn't help but wonder what else he could be lying about. She had been nervously playing with her coat sleeve since the moment David explaining what had happened.

"A break down?" she had asked confused.

"In the early stages but I know exactly where it is headed. I've been down this road too many times before. He's been alright for five years until New Years Day when he turned up drunk out of his mind talking about you," David explained with a soft bluntness that showed he wanted to get to the point but he didn't want to upset her.

"Do you think I'm responsible?" she asked and David quickly shook his head.

"No, it is something that is not my place to explain. Look, I know you broke up and you may not want to see him. I don't know the details of what happened as he won't speak to me, but by not speaking to me or any of his family, he is getting worse. He needs his best friend. He needs you. I'm fearful we are going to go back to a dark place he may never get out of. Please? I need help in saving my son. Will you help me?"

Lottie didn't even have to think about it. "Lead the way," she commanded. Steve and Lottie had followed David's car to the house and she caught sight of the fact that Steve didn't seem surprised by the house as they entered through the gate.

"How long have you known?" she asked softly. Steve let out a sigh.

"Since we left the hotel."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she asked surprised.

"Alex told me because he wanted to offer his help. He said that his family's home could be a safe place and he could protect you. I thanked him but never took him up on the offer. All I know is that his parents lived around here. No exact location, house number or anything. He is a good man Lottie. If I thought otherwise I wouldn't have brought you here would I?"

All Lottie could do was nod to that. Prospective she told herself.

The mansion could easy have slept at least ten people and was a Georgian style red brick building with tall multi-pane windows and looked like it belonged in a period drama. A grand sweeping drive way she could easily imagine filled with horse drawn carriages lead to the front of the house. A statue of a stag on top of a stone plinth stood several metres in front of the front door acted as a mini roundabout leading cars back down the driveway.

"You have a beautiful home," Steve commented to David as the three headed for the front door. Before David could reply the door opened and a tall thin woman in her fourties wearing a thick jumper and jeans. Her short pixie cut hair was slowly turning from its natural black to grey and despite her folded arms showing mistrust her eyes were warm and welcoming.

"So this is the girl who has captured my son's heart" she said making Lottie raise her eyebrows.

"Girl?" Lottie asked without being able to stop herself. Knowing she had slipped up her first time to impress his parents, Lottie smiled softly and held out her right hand. "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Gower." Ruth unfolded her arms and smiled. Ruth had the gift everyone would die to have in the police force. The ability to look someone up and down and know exactly what kind of person they are. She could be blunt and brutal but she knew if she could trust you in a heartbeat. Lottie had passé the test.

"He's right about her David. I like her. Nice to meet you Lottie, please call me Ruth." Ruth took Lottie's hand and shook it. "You're freezing! Come into the warm, both of you. First winter up north is it?"

"How can you tell?" Lottie asked.

"The thickness of your coat. Childs play compared to the cold up here. Come on in, I'll get the kettle on."

She then turned to Steve and the two shared niceties as David lead Lottie inside. The inside of the house was as grand and stunning as the outside. They had kept the original features and décor style but it was spacious and minimalistic giving a light airiness that felt modern. Lottie couldn't help but feel like Elizabeth Bennett seeing the inside of Pemberley.

"Where is Alex?" Lottie asked when they reached the four of them reached the kitchen.

"In his room. He hasn't come out for days," David explained. Ruth turned on the kettle and turned around to face Steve and Lottie.

"Ok I need to ask something and I know I may be crossing the line here but what are your intentions with my son?" Ruth asked taking both Steve and Lottie aback.

"Intentions?" Steve asked confused.

"Yes. A plan, an aim. Choose whichever word you want but it means the same thing."

"Ruth, be reasonable –" David began but she held up her hand cutting him off.

"No, I can't be. We've been down this road before and I am not going to be picking up the pieces again. All I know is that the moment he met her, he came back to us. Now he is drifting away. I can't see him become a ghost again."

"Well, to answer your question, right now I am here to help. He's my friend and I need to see that he is ok. Besides, he broke up with me so any intentions in that regard is up to him to decide. I won't waste my time on something that will destroy me. So are you going to take me to him or not?" Lottie asked. She hadn't anticipated having to square up against Alex's mother but she wasn't going to cower to her either.

"I'll take you" David said and lead Lottie from the room. AS she passed Steve the two siblings caught each other's gazes and each silently communicated their wish of good luck to the other.

"You must forgive my wife. She owns her own business and is quite the ball buster. She has a good heart though. She and Alex are close so it hurts her to see him in pain."

"I understand. A mother's love is a strong one. Just as strong as a father's. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt Alex. He's my only real friend here. If there is anything I can do to help, I will."

"Thanks, same for you. Ruth is right you know. The moment you came here he got better."

"Better from what exactly?"

"I'll let him tell you. It isn't my place."

Finally the two got to a large oak door after going through the maze of the upper level and David knocked on it.

"Go away" came a grumble from the other side of the door. Alex was clearly sat near the door but not up against it. David nodded to Lottie.

"Alex? It's me, Lottie. I had to come see you. Can I come in?" she asked. Silence met her. Finally they heard Alex get up and head for door. The sound of a key turning in the lock was heard and the door opened a crack. Alex then walked away from the door.

"Come in" he commanded. Lottie turned to David and with a smile she reached out and squeezed his hand closest to her. He gentle placed his free hand on top of hers and squeezed it too. She saw the emotion in his eyes and knew this was important to him so she was going to try her hardest to help this kind man she had known less than an hour. She stepped into the rook and David let her go and shut the door behind her.

The room was trashed. The bed had become a sofa and sleeping area. Music CDs and vinyl records were scattered all over the place yet no music was playing. An array of glasses and mugs were scattered over the surfaces, a few empty vodka and beer bottles were scattered on the carpeted floor, and the window was open letting in freezing cold air, cigarette butts scattered all over it. Alex was stood in the doorway of the en suite. He looked a wreak. He was in a set of dark jogger bottoms, an oversized light grey shirt and his feet were bare. She clearly hadn't slept in days and he was pale and thin. His hair, not having been washed was greasy and he was shaking slight in the cold air.

"Hi" she said a little more than a whisper. He couldn't respond, just looked ashamed at the sight of the room. He lowered his head and seemed to crumple from the inside like a balled up piece of paper. She quickly crossed the room and threw her arms around him. He slowly sank to the floor and she followed him, holding him close to her letting him silently cry.

"How did you -?" he began to ask but she cut him off.

"Your dad found me. He is so worried about you as is your mum. They told me you were in trouble so I came right way. Come on, let's get you in bed."

She led him to the bed and made sure he was tucked in under the thick duvet before crossing the room and closing the window. Even in her coat she was cold and he wasn't wearing anything over the thin shirt and jogger bottoms he had on. Finally she lay down on the bed next to him so they were facing each other.

"What's going on Alex? Please talk to me," she asked quietly. After a moment he found the courage to speak.

"I never told you because it is hard for me to explain but … your makeover … triggered me."

"Triggered you? How? To what?" she asked patiently. He reached out and softly stroked her hair with a soft smile.

"Your hair colour reminds me of gold dust. You shimmer when the light hits it just right. Just like mum"

"You mean Ruth?" Lottie asked confused.

"No, my real mum. Olivia …" Lottie knew she shouldn't say a word. Instead she watched in silence as he plucked up the courage to tell her everything. She took his hand which was still stroking her hair and interlocked her fingers with his bringing it down to rest between them.

"Her name was Olivia but she went by 'Olive'. She died when I was three. She and my dad had a casual thing and although there was no real love between them, they were totally amicable and honest with each other. When she fell pregnant she said straight away that she was keeping me and dad agreed. Being in the RAF though he went wherever they told him to so mum raised me alone with his financial support." A slow beautiful smile spread across Alex's face and she could feel the love in his heart for a woman Lottie would never know. "She was so good a drawing and painting and she was so resourceful. She just got shit done you know? Then one day we went for a picnic in the park and I remember she was in a summer dress of a creamy colour with tiny yellow flowers on it. We were there with other mums and kids. Everything was normal and then …. A car came out of nowhere. It was going too fast and it began to swerve. I remember this mass of blue metal coming towards me … and then nothing. The driver had a stroke at the wheel and died a day later. It was an accident. Mum grabbed me and shielded me but the blow was too much … she died instantly. After that I'm in a new house with a new family. My dad had married whilst overseas and my little sister was on the way. Now I have here with three siblings and a fucked up head fully of anxiety and depression."

"How old was your mum?"

"25 year and 57 days to be exact. Do you want to see her picture?"

Lottie smiled and nodded. Alex let go of her hand and turned to the bedside table on which sat his wallet. He pulled out a pictured and turned back to Lottie handing it to her. Now she understood. In her hands was a picture of beautiful woman with shoulder length, straight honey blonde hair that was fluttering in the captured breeze, the same colour, texture and style as hers following her makeover. Olivia also had hazel eyes and a broad smile that was full of charm and life. Alex had gone into a breakdown because she looked just like his dead mother. She wanted to rant about how stupid and inconsiderate she had been and apologise but knew this was not the time of the place. Instead she looked at Alex smiling and saw the tears in his eyes.

"She's so beautiful. She'd be so proud of you, I know it. Just like I am." That was the moment Ales let out everything he had been holding back.

"You really fucking terrified me you know that? When you walked out of the flat and left me alone. I know I pushed you away but it was because you scared me so much. You looked just like her and I was overwhelmed. My anxiety said that you were going to die if you were around me which was too overwhelming so I pushed you away to save your life. I told you I'm not easy to love either in my own way. I'm not medicated or anything like that but when I am in a low place I get really low. I started having episodes of depression and anxiety when I was ten. It's been a while since I've had an attack so mum and dad are really worried. It's hard to bring me back out of it so even if I feel well tomorrow it could take weeks."

Lottie inched closer to him so they lay with their foreheads nearly touching.

"If I had known about your mum I never would have –"

"I know. I don't know how but you have come into my life like a tornado out of nowhere, that will shake up my world and everything within it, but you keep me stable. So being with each other may be a rollercoaster but I'm not going to miss it for the world." Lottie took a deep breath to find the courage to say what she had to.

"I might not be able to give you a family you want Alex. I may never give you a moment of peace."

"Likewise but it is you that I want. What I need. Who the fuck wants peace when it's so boring? I love a little chaos. I love you."

Never did she think she would hear those words and it fill her with equal parts fear and joy of it slipping way. She smiled and decided to be brave.

"I love you too" she whispered and he pulled her towards him for a kiss they both had been yearning for since they were separated.

"Promise me, that you won't keep this a secret from me anymore? Even if you have an attack of this at 1am you call me ok?"

"I promise" he agreed.

"Also, promise me that after a sleep you have a long hot shower and eat everything that Ruth puts in front of you? Because let's face it, this look doesn't look good on you."

"It does on rock stars," he smiled.

"Rock stars with drug addictions and eating disorders. Not for my boyfriend thank you very much. Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"Come here then," she commands. She had him re-position so his head came to rest against her chest allowing him to hear her heartbeat and she softly stroked his head as she hummed a tune. As she predicted he soon fell asleep in her arms. She remained that way for a good half an hour before she moved him to clean up the room. She left him a note explaining she had to go and left the room knowing that she had done something right. She had found someone who she knew would stand by her side through everything and she would do the same for him. They really were suited to each other and yes they may be young but they were worth fighting for. When she got downstairs she found Steve waiting for her in the living room with David and Ruth who looked worried at the sight of her.

"He's fast asleep. I've cleaned the room and he'll sleep deep for a while yet. He has promised he will get showered and eat everything you feed him Ruth when he wakes up so I suggest you fill the fridge if not already. If he doesn't, call me and I will be back here in a heartbeat to make him" Lottie explained.

"Told you she was like you Ruth," Steve commented making Lottie silently forgive him for being secretive.

"Thank you so much Lottie, you have saved his life," David said and she shook her head.

"No, I just did the right thing."

"So let us do the right thing for you" Ruth said and Lottie looked confused. "Steve here explained that he is going to be away for a while and that you can't leave here but he can't leave you alone. For everything you have done for our son, we want to repay the favour. If you are willing, you are welcome to stay with us for as long as you need. This house is big enough as you can tell and even with four kids in the house it is still big and quiet. Perfect for you to study and such in in a place of safety. Do you accept our offer?"

Lottie looked at Steve and could see the relief on his face knowing she will be safe here with people he trusted.

"Thank you, I'd be delighted" she smiled.