The Nerd Versus the P.I. Family

By Steampunk . Chuckster

A/N: I felt inspired to post this. Hope you enjoy.

Summary: Sarah Walker has uprooted her life, leaving her job with the LAPD and going it alone as a private investigator, all in the hopes it provides her with less dangerous stakes and a schedule she can control so that she can handle her most important job, raising her toddler, a bit easier. But when the single parent thinks her computer might've been targeted by a criminal, she has to request help from the unlikeliest of sources: The Buy More Nerd Herd.

Disclaimer: I do not own CHUCK, I do not own its characters, I am not making money from posting this.

"Nnnneeeeeooooommmm…"

He felt a certain pair of blue eyes on him, and the hair stood up on the back of his neck. And still, he swept the toy airplane that he'd picked up off of the table through the air again, only in the opposite direction this time. "Nnnneeeoooooom…"

"Huh," he heard Carina mutter. "Here I thought Max was just being an adorable sweetheart, but maybe he knew he was dealing with a fellow toddler."

Chuck turned towards her slowly, stopping the plane's flight midair, giving her the flattest look he knew how to give. "Are you insinuating that I'm a toddler?"

"I mean, I didn't really insinuate; I said it pretty plainly."

He chuckled and put the airplane down. "It's a cool toy, so sue me."

Carina smirked and shook her head, before she finally picked up her laptop and thrust it at him. "Here it is, my home laptop. Whatever you see on there, pretend we're in Vegas. What happens here, stays here. And please try not to…let anything too embarrassing get onto that bastard chameleon thing. I have a reputation I need to keep up."

"I'm not going to go digging through all of your personal stuff," he said, giving her a look as he took her laptop.

Should he? Was she the right audience for this? Would she tell Sarah he was a creep? Or would she think it was funny? He went out on a limb, took a risk, and he said it: "I won't tell anyone about all of the porn that's on here."

The redhead snorted loudly. "It's cute you made that joke, but I, uh, don't need porn to get what I need."

Chuck's eyebrows shot into his hairline, and he nearly laughed. He held it in, for fear it would have a thread of nervousness in it. "Touché," he said instead. She really and truly got him with that one.

Carina laughed. "Look, all I'm asking is for some…professionalism." She gave him a serious look. "Like you'd show any client. Sensitive info, anything your eyes might catch sight of. I've had this thing for years now and I'm a little worried there's stuff on there I don't even remember being on there, so…"

"I've been getting on people's computers, phone, tablets, whatever else, since I was a teenager, Carina. A decade or more's worth of experience has made it so nothing I might see on someone's device fazes me now. I'm treating this with utmost professionalism."

"Hm. Even though I'm the best friend of the woman you're trying really hard to date?"

Chuck narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "You phrased that a certain way."

"Yeah, on purpose. You are trying super hard, my guy." She held out a hand towards him placatingly. "I'm not saying that to diss you or put you down, I swear. Just an observation. It's not easy dating a parent, I can only assume. Sarah's all tied up with the case and with Max. And you still manage to find ways to squeak into those empty spaces in Blondie's schedule. I'm impressed you're still here, that's all."

The Nerd Herd area specialist squirmed in his chair even as he stuck the program back onto her laptop. "Um. I'm a little surprised, too. Honestly. I keep thinking she's gonna be like 'what am I doing?' and cast me off at any moment."

Carina narrowed her eyes. "I meant the fact that you haven't cast her off, or given up, moved on to something else a little easier."

"Oh." Chuck shook his head vehemently. "What do you think I am, a moron?" Carina snorted. "You don't just give up when you meet someone like that. She's…an amazing person."

"Oh, she is. I don't blame you. But… this is the kind of shit that might have someone else hightailing it in the other direction, even though Sar is amazing."

"What kind of shit?"

"Being basically ignored for a few days, a week, longer than that even." She shrugged. And then she winced. "Sorry, I'm not trying to sound so blunt. She isn't ignoring you, at least not on purpose. It's just that you're getting a pretty clear picture of her priorities."

Chuck watched her for a long moment, what she was saying settling in his gut. "And I'm not one of the top priorities. Is that what you mean?"

"It isn't like you aren't there at all, you're up there. But she has a child to take care of. And that means her career, her paycheck is important too." He nodded slowly. "For someone who's had her make that pretty clear to him, you're still here and trying and it's interesting. I feel like most dudes aren't willing to put in this much work, and exert so much patience. Most people in general."

Chuck squirmed. "I…don't know how to respond to this."

Carina snorted. "You're almost annoyingly honest. Anybody ever tell you that?"

"Um." He blinked.

"I know, I know. Now I'm just being rude. I'll be honest with you this time. I actually like you. I should since you're saving my ass big time here. But that aside, you seem like a pretty good guy."

"Thanks. I, erm, I like you too."

Carina laughed. "I believe you somehow and I don't get it. I have teased you mercilessly since day one. And now I'm basically dangling you over a cliff."

"Maybe but I'm a grown up. I can handle teasing without taking it personally or being all butt-hurt." He cleared his throat as she laughed. "As for the cliff dangling, it's, um—Well, I don't blame you. You don't just have Sarah to watch over, Max seems like he's super important to you, too. You're basically like his aunt in a lot of ways. You're looking out for them."

She smirked, shaking her head at him in what seemed like it could be awe. "Okay, fine. Do your thing." She patted him on the shoulder. "Don't tell Sarah I grilled you, either, she'll excommunicate me from our friendship for it."

"What am I excommunicating you for?"

Chuck spun to watch as Sarah walked back into the room, her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised.

"Oops," he heard Carina mutter. Then she cleared her throat. "I plead the fifth."

Sarah glared then turned the glare on Chuck.

"I…also plead the fifth."

The redhead reached over and knuckled his bicep in camaraderie. "Oh God, not you two teaming up against me now." She smirked at Chuck in particular and closed the distance, plopping into a nearby chair and scooting it closer to watch what he was doing. He felt her warmth against his side even though she wasn't touching him and he wondered if maybe he was blushing, even as he cleared his throat and focused on the laptop screen. "I'm letting you have this, only because I'm tired."

"Speaking of tired, the little bug go to sleep already?" Carina asked. "His eyes were getting droopy and I snuck out. He was tired underneath all of the 'I'm not tired' bravado." She laid a hand on on his arm and squeezed. "How's it going out here?"

"Um, I just started. But good."

Chuck was still feeling a little raw from that quick but intense conversation. And still, he wasn't going anywhere. He was going to freaking cling to this with all he had. It was just that good. Or at least, it could be good if they gave this a chance. It could be better, but he wasn't putting that on Sarah with all of the responsibilities she had.

"Want something to drink or eat? I've got Oreos, wine, beer, apple juice," she said the last thing with a giggle.

Chuck widened his eyes at her. "Max would share his apple juice with me?"

"He would if it was his, but it's mine, and I'm on the fence about it," she teased, grinning cutely.

He bit back a giggle. "And what does a fella gotta do to get you onto the side of the fence where there's apple juice sharing going on?"

"A fella's gotta finish moving my shit onto that lizard thing before I turn into the old lady in Titanic, preferably," Carina snarked, bursting the flirtatious bubble he and Sarah had going on. Sarah tilted to the side to look around him and glared at her friend. "What? I don't wanna be out 'til three in the morning this time. So sue me. You two can be all cute and whatever whenever you want, but not on my time."

"I'll get you juice," Sarah said, still giving Carina a look as she climbed up to her feet.

"Water's actually perfect. I was teasing about the juice. But-But thanks."

She smirked at him, nodding, and then glanced at Carina, an annoyed look replacing the smirk. "You can get your own drink."

"Good. I will." Carina gave Chuck a pat on his head, and he knew she meant no harm, but he appreciated the wordless apology anyway. And she stood up to join Sarah in the kitchen.

Chuck tried not to notice, keeping his eyes on his work as if he couldn't hear them, but they were having some kind of hissing conversation, words he couldn't exactly hear. And he chanced a quick peek to see that Sarah had cornered Carina, his glass of water in her hand, and Carina had gone into full defensive position, her hands up by her shoulders in a shrug.

Awkward…

He dropped his gaze back to the computer and tried to focus on what he was doing, trying not to get too caught up in what may or may not be happening in the kitchen, what might be said and by whom, and if Sarah's best friend, the honorary auntie to her child, was expressing her disapproval.

}o{

Sarah wheeled around on her the moment they got into the kitchen, knowing she was right behind her. "Carina, what are you up to?" she hissed as quietly as possible.

She moved to the cabinet, taking a glass out for Chuck, still fixing her best friend with a critical gaze.

Carina shrugged defensively. "I'm just teasing—"

"You do something enough, and it feels less like teasing and more like you're serious. He isn't stupid. If I'm noticing it's a lot, so is he." She pushed past Carina to get some ice.

"He said it's okay if I tease him."

"Because he's a nice guy. Because he's trying to stay on your good side because you're my best friend."

"He seemed pretty sincere about it," Carina said with another shrug. "I'm not any harder on him than I've been on—"

"Yes, you are." Sarah turned on her again, pointing in her face. "He's doing a lot for you right now, Carina. And he isn't making a cent from it. He isn't asking you to pay him. He's helping you because he doesn't want some asshole out there getting access to your files and getting you potentially fired." She whispered an extra, "That's it."

"You don't think the fact that he is desperately clinging to you like a barnacle has any bearing whatsoever on him being here right now and helping me?"

"He had no idea I was even gonna be there the other night. He was totally prepared to sit there all night with just you. To help you. Because he's a genuinely good guy and you know I'm right. You're just being like this because…I don't know why." She brushed past Carina again to fill Chuck's glass with the filtered water from her fridge.

"You're overreacting over a little ribbing," Carina hissed, following after her so that she didn't have to raise her voice to be heard.

"Fifty percent of the words that come out of your mouth are rude when they're directed at him. And I don't know if you're trying to protect me, or if it's about Max, or both of us, but I don't need you to rip the reins out of my hands on this one, Red. Okay? I've got the reins. I can protect myself and my son."

Carina held her hands up. "I know you can."

"Then maybe stop trying to scare this guy off with rude behavior."

"I'm not doing that!"

Sarah sighed at her best friend. She'd snapped that pretty loud and immediately winced after, but if Chuck hadn't understood what was happening in the kitchen before, he did now. She should've waited until later maybe to broach this subject with Carina, when Chuck wasn't here, thus keeping him from being in this awkward situation. But, damn it, Carina had just pissed her off.

She was tired of having to give Carina looks over Chuck's shoulder, tired of admonishing her in front of him. But it was just rude. It wasn't funny. Not to her. And she had a feeling she was right, that Chuck was generally fine with the teasing, but it'd gotten to be enough that he was probably starting to internalize it and wonder if it was more than just teasing.

"Whatever, just get your drink, and please…please try to stop being so rude to him. I like him, Carina."

Carina sighed. "I'm gonna be nicer, okay? I don't mean to be rude to him. I'm just not in a good place right now. This shit with them getting onto my laptop could've cost me my whole career. I've fought tooth and nail to get where I am. I almost lost it. I'm…"

Sarah frowned, feeling a little guilty admittedly. "Shaken up?" Carina nodded, looking like she genuinely hated that she had to admit that. Sarah could relate. She did relate. They'd both been like this since…always. And Sarah knew she was the worst of the two of them. "Well, look, can you not take it out on him? That's not fair, especially with how much time he's spending helping save your ass."

Carina let out a quiet groan and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Okay. You're right. I'm wrong. And I'm sorry."

"He's the one who deserves the apology, not me. Maybe…" She paused, peeking out of the kitchen to look at him. He was focusing on the screen maybe a little too hard, and she knew he'd noticed them arguing in here, even if he didn't know what they were arguing about. And he was observant enough to know they were probably arguing about him. Crap. "Maybe don't apologize to him immediately because this is already awkward enough."

The redhead winced. "Yeeeaaah, but that was mostly you."

"Shut up," Sarah said, rolling her eyes and leaving the kitchen altogether. Maybe she should've grabbed some more wine for herself while she was at it. She sidled up next to Chuck and put the water down. "There you are."

He looked up at her and smiled. "Thank you." Taking a moment to sip it, he set it back down and got to work again. She didn't understand how in the hell he was moving anything anywhere, because once again, the screen had done that crazy coding thing that made her feel like she was in some 'nineties action hacker film.

She sat down and just watched, Carina finally coming around to sit on Chuck's other side. Sarah felt the tension in the air as she sat down, Chuck's fingers stilling on the laptop's keyboard just long enough for her to notice, before tapping away again. And she was absolutely sure he knew what the conversation in the kitchen had been about. Did he wonder if Carina hated him? If she disapproved?

An hour passed with little to no actual conversation, and even though she didn't want to, she snuck out of the room to check on Max, leaving Chuck alone with Carina again. He was asleep, but he'd switched positions, his blanket all tangled up in his legs, which made her think that maybe he was restless tonight, not sleeping too well.

He had his rare spells of not sleeping well.

Deciding to just leave him and hope he stayed asleep, she came back into the room to find Carina laughing as she leaned in close to her computer screen with Chuck. His eyes flicked up from the screen the moment Sarah came into the room and Carina's gaze followed soon after. The redhead waved her over. "You gotta see this, Blondie."

A dubious look on her face, even if the sight of them laughing together had eased something deep inside of her, she sauntered over and sat, scooting close. "What is it?"

But even as she asked, she saw what it was. She laughed, even as she groaned.

"It's a good color on you, Sarah," Chuck chirped, grinning, amusement pouring from his handsome features.

"That's what I said, nerd!" Carina exclaimed, smacking his shoulder with the back of her hand.

It was a picture from Max's second birthday party. Her parents had hosted it in their backyard with a handful of kids from the park and their parents, Carina, a few of the fellas from the station and Rizzo. Max had blown out the candle on his ice cream cake and then he had grabbed some and smashed it in his face. When she laughed, kneeling down to try to wipe it off, he grabbed a fistful and smashed it in her face too. She remembered the raucous laughter, how it had egged Max on, his little voice squealing "HAAAA MOMMYYYYYY!" as he clapped, sending cake bits and ice cream everywhere.

Carina had helpfully snapped pictures of all of it.

"I do look pretty good in blue," she muttered, sending them both a teasingly dark look and shaking her head.

"I feel like you look good in every color," Chuck piped up, shrugging. And he turned to look at her with a slow smile he had no business sending her in front of Carina freaking Miller.

Carina snickered. "Damn, nerd. That was a line."

Sarah blushed, shaking her head. "I had to wash my hair twice to get that crap out of it," she tried, an attempt at swinging the conversation back, even as she felt a pleased feeling bloom in her chest at the look he was still fixing her with.

He finally turned back to the screen. "Sorry, Carina. I'm really not paying attention to the details, but that one just caught my eye."

"Eh, it's fine. I don't mind you seeing pictures of Max's birthday party. But kindly refrain from sticking any of the sexting pics I've still got on there into this lizard thing, huh? I don't want the boys at the LAPD getting their kicks."

Sarah heard Chuck choke a little bit, but then he laughed. He stopped laughing when Carina just kept staring at him with a serious look. "Oh." He cleared his throat. "Right, I, uh, I won't."

Carina's face broke and she laughed. "Sorry. Sorry, I couldn't resist."

And there she went again. Sarah sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Oh. I was trying really hard not to ask why you'd keep those even after you sent them. Let alone sticking 'em in your photos library? That's brave, Carina."

That made both of the women flanking him laugh, and Sarah could only marvel at him as he chuckled, shaking his head.

Sarah felt the tiredness creeping in then as Chuck spent more time in that weird coding zone, and she found herself getting up to refill his water even when he still had some in the glass, if only to keep her legs moving, give herself something to do. Carina was playing a game on her phone, having taken up a spot on the couch.

It seemed like meticulous work that wasn't as simple as shifting stuff over onto a hard drive. And as she wandered back to his side to set the water down, she leaned over his shoulder to watch, and decided to ask. "So what exactly is this, anyway? It looks harder than simply clicking and dragging."

"Oh, it is. It isn't super hard work though," he said, pulling his fingers off of the keyboard and turning to glance up at her. "I mean, not for me. I had to do some diagnostics on the thing, study it and figure out how it picks things up. And then I have to systematically shift the files I think are safe enough for the LAPD to see into its path so it copies it. I'm trying to make sure it only copies what I give it. And I have to keep ahead of it. I've got a fifteen minute head start on the little bastard now, though."

Sarah furrowed her brow and moved to sit again, peering at him, then looking at the screen again. It was back on the regular desktop, a picture of Carina on the edge of a precipice in the Grand Canyon set as the background. (The only piece of Carina's short-lived relationship with a geologist named Wolf that still existed. That one hadn't ended well.)

"Wait, so…you're basically leading this chameleon copy monster machine on a path you set for it, basically."

"Yes."

"There's some sort of philosophical allegory in this. Like, I feel like Nietzsche would have a field day with this moment." She snorted as Chuck giggled. "Don't listen to me. I'm tired. Getting loopy."

"No, you're right. Nietzsche would love to study what I'm doing here."

"You two are getting too brainy over there for this late at night," Carina said from the couch over the quiet sounds of Candy Crush emanating from her phone.

Chuck smirked and sat back against his chair, crossing his arms. "I'm trying to gauge how much stuff needs to be on this not to flag the LAPD analyst's suspicion. You know?"

"Well, they don't really know how long this thing was on Carina's laptop before it was caught. So does it really matter that much?" Sarah asked idly, propping her chin in her palm.

He blinked and she saw Carina sit up straighter to peer at her over the back of the couch. Then he turned to look at Sarah. "Uh, you're actually right. If they don't know how long, I guess I don't need to worry about there being too little on it once they get their hands on this thing. Oops." Chuck winced then, sending Carina and Sarah both an apologetic look. "I guess I didn't necessarily need to keep us all here for so long."

To her credit, Carina just let out a genuine laugh. "This is actually kind of funny. Don't worry, dude, I'm not mad at you."

But before Sarah could join in, she heard a sound from the hallway, a quiet whining, "Mommyyyyy?"

She spun around to look and sighed. "And that's my cue."

"Need me to go?" Carina asked.

"No, no. I've got it. He doesn't seem like he's sleeping well tonight." She climbed up to her feet and squeezed Chuck's shoulder. "I'll be right back, hopefully alone."

But when she went into Max's room, he was standing in his bed, his hands on the top railing, his eyes big and blue and forlorn. He reached for her, Lovey in one hand.

"What's wrong, my guy?" she asked, frowning at him as she leaned down to pick him up, grunting as she hoisted him into an embrace and hugged him close to her.

His chin rested on her shoulder and he hugged her back, tight. "I don' s'eep," he said. She could hear his pout in his voice. "S'eep bad."

"I'm sorry." She rubbed his back comfortingly. "What can I do to help you sleep? Need me to read to you? Sing? You like me to sing still, hm?"

"No," he said. "Mi'k?"

"You want milk? Right now?"

He nodded. "Mmmhm."

She sighed. "Okay, well, why don't you lie back down and I'll go warm up some milk while you try to sleep." He shook his head. "Why not? I think that's a pretty good idea." She pulled back a bit to look into his face, smiling comfortingly. "And it would make Mommy very happy."

"No."

"No." She sighed. "Welp. Okay. Come on. You have Lovey still?"

"I d'op."

"You dropped him?" She looked around and saw Lovey had fallen to the floor behind him. "It's okay, I've got him." She knelt down and grabbed it, handing it back up to him.

"Hooah."

"What?" She blinked at him, tilting her head.

"Lovey is a y'ady."

That made her raise her eyebrows. "Oh, Lovey's a lady now? She's a girl? When did that happen?" He shrugged shyly. "Well, okay. Lovey's she now. Works for me."

"Yay."

"Yay," she giggled, carrying him out of his room and down the hallway.

The moment she made her way into the kitchen with Max in arms, Carina was up and surging towards them. "Heeeey, look who joined the boring party after all."

He beamed shyly and turned to hug Sarah's neck, burying his face in her shoulder. Sarah rubbed his back and moved to the fridge. "Red, can you do me a favor and grab the bottle that's furthest in front?"

"Is it milk time, buddy?" Carina asked, stroking his arm as she moved to help.

"Thanks," she breathed as her friend put the bottle on the counter and shut the fridge. "I have an idea, Max. How about you go with Miss C and Lovey and I'll bring your milk to you?" He squeezed her tighter. "I'll be right there, I promise."

He pulled back then and gave her a tired, dubious look, his hair sticking up every which way, and then he nodded with an, "Uh huh", and he let her put him down. He immediately grabbed Carina's outstretched hand and pulled her out of the kitchen.

She didn't usually cut corners, but Max had sort of grown out of the warm milk thing, and tended to just drink it cold out of the fridge when he even wanted it. So using the microwave, especially tonight when she was so tired, felt appropriate.

She peeked out of the kitchen over to the table where Carina hoisted Max into the chair Sarah'd been sitting in next to Chuck. He crawled onto his knees so that he could prop his elbows on the tabletop and he leaned forward, his cheek against the wood as he hugged Lovely.

She'd normally tell him that wasn't the right thing to do, but the little guy was having a rough night and she thought a bit of leniency wouldn't do much harm. Anyway, it was making Chuck giggle as he looked up from the laptop.

He leaned in as well. "Hi."

"Hiyeee," Max replied.

"Are you tired?"

"Mmmhm."

Chuck nodded. "Me too."

The microwave finished, the beeping carrying over to the table, because Max hurriedly pushed himself up to his knees again and called out, "BEEP!"

Chuck laughed and looked up towards where she stood at the microwave. She shrugged, smirking. "He likes the beeping."

"BEEP BEEP. Beep."

So you like beeps." Chuck crossed his arms, making a show of thinking hard. Sarah situated herself in a spot in the kitchen where she could watch the interaction even as she poured the warm milk into one of Max's special cups. "What are your thoughts on boop?"

For some reason that set Max off on a string of giggles.

"Oh, is that funny?" Chuck asked, raising his eyebrows. "Boop?"

"Yeeesss," Max giggled.

Sarah swirled the milk in the cup to cool it down, then fitted the lid onto the cup securely, tipping it over to make sure it didn't spill, then walking it over. "Oh no, now we're onto boop?"

Max turned and reached for the cup with both hands, taking it. "Tank'oo Mommy."

"You're welcome." She leaned down to kiss the top of his head.

He took a sip and let out a long, "Ahhhhhh!" making them all chuckle, and because he got a response he liked, he did it again. And then again. "What da boo?" he asked then.

"A boop?" Chuck pursed his lips as Max nodded, suddenly shy again. "A boop is different from a beep. That was a beep. The beep beeeeep. Now a boop is different." He sat up straighter and met Sarah's gaze as she still stood behind Max with her hand on his shoulder. "If your mom wouldn't mind being the guinea pig." He gave her a cute, innocent look and gestured her over with a flick of his head.

Dubious but also very curious, she moved closer to the Nerd Herd area specialist, sitting on the half of the chair nearest to Chuck, forcing her son to share with her.

"Now, watch carefully," Chuck said, lifting his right pointer finger. Max nodded eagerly. The finger Chuck held up surged up to Sarah's face and he cutely tapped her right on the end of her nose with the tip of his finger. "Boop!"

Sarah pulled back and rolled her eyes, "Oh God."

Carina cackled. "I knew it!"

And Max was beside himself with glee. Of course—of course—he leaned across her to push his finger to her nose, yelling, "BOOP!" in her ear. He did it again. "BOOP!"

"Okay, once was good. Thank you." She sent Chuck a thanks a lot look.

He winced, even as he chuckled. "Sorry. The boop is a life skill I felt might be necessary." He cleared his throat, then leaned over to look at Max. "You have to be very careful with the boop, Max, okay? It's very important that you don't touch people without their permission. Even if it's to boop."

"This is getting to have way too much innuendo for me," Carina mumbled.

"Carina, oh my God," Sarah groused, and Chuck cracked up.

"Yeah," Max said, nodding seriously. "I don' boop 'fout 'missi'n."

"Good," she said, kissing his temple. "Never boop or touch without permission." Curling her arm around him, she squeezed him to her side, then turned to look at Chuck, mouthing thank you. He'd said just the right thing there. And she appreciated it. "How's the data transfer going?"

"Almost done."

Carina perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's got a few more minutes on the trail I gave it, then I'm gonna stop it, wrap it up, take it off, and stick it on a jump drive so you can take it to your contacts at the LAPD."

Max decided to crawl into her lap, and in spite of the fact that she now had the chair to herself and could scoot back to sit in it properly, she stayed on the half closest to Chuck. And she did it on purpose.

With one arm around her son for security, she put her other hand on Chuck's shoulder. "So you didn't put anything naughty on there after all, huh?"

He snorted. "Uh, no. Carina asked for professionalism and, um," he turned to the redhead, "hopefully you feel that's what you got."

"It is what I got. Thank you." She reached over to tap him on the nose. "Boop. There. That's a thank you boop."

"Rina, you ask 'missi'n foost."

Sarah pulled her lips in between her teeth to keep from bursting into laughter, turning wide eyes on the other two adults.

Looking properly chastised, Carina cleared her throat and nodded. "You're right, Max. I apologize, Chuck. May I please boop you on your nose?"

Highly amused and seemingly just barely keeping it in, he cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes, Carina. You may." And he thrusted his nose out towards her adorably.

Carina tapped it, and gave him a very solemn "Boop." Then said with equal solemnity, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He nodded once.

Max giggled, pleased with the exchange. And then he tried to put his milk on the table with Lovey still clasped in his hands, but it landed strangely on its base and tipped, clattering onto its side.

Sarah made a surprised noise, reaching out to stop it from…she didn't even know what. It was a special cup that didn't spill, anyway. But it was reflex. And her reflex, along with her surprised sound, must've startled Max bad enough that he jumped, scared.

And she knew immediately he was embarrassed by his reaction, embarrassed enough that his eyes welled up and he sniffled once. "Hey, no. It's okay. I just thought it was going to spill but it's okay…" she rushed out in a gentle voice, hugging. "Nothing spilled. It's good. We're all good."

"Hey, watch," Chuck said, acting fast. He reached out and righted the cup. "Ta daaaa. Milk still in the cup. On the table. All is well."

Max nodded, sniffling again, his lip quivering as he hugged Lovey up under his chin. "You're okay, Max," she tried again, giving him a little bump and squeezing him. He nodded again, but she could tell he was still embarrassed.

He was genuinely the most sensitive kid sometimes, but she knew him being tired and sleeping poorly so far tonight was making it worse. She didn't know where he'd gotten it from, and she still hadn't figured out how to come to terms with the fact that there would be certain things Max inherited from the man who'd cut all ties and disappeared entirely to avoid any kind of responsibility.

It was easy for her to push that melancholy thought out of her head, then, because Chuck chose that moment to hold up his palm between them. "You know what always makes me feel better? A high five. Want one? I'm really good at it. I've been told my high fives can cure all emotional ails."

Max lowered Lovey a bit and nodded, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. And instead of slapping Chuck's palm, he reached up and just pushed his little palm there. God, it maybe took up half of Chuck's palm, his hand was so tiny, and Sarah was assailed with the reality that it wouldn't be that small forever, and sooner than she was ready for, it would get bigger, because he would get bigger. And she needed to take a deep breath to keep the almost tears at bay.

Parenthood was…insane.

"You know what, Max? This high five is the best high five I've ever received. It's just cured my emotional ails. All of them. I was not ready for that," Chuck said, kindness in his face and voice. She wanted to throw her arms around him and hug him, kiss him even, when any trace of tears and upset left her son's face, and instead, he was grinning proudly.

"I coor ail?"

Chuck let out a giggle that melted her insides even further. "You did! You cured my ails." He folded his arms on top of the table and gave Max a serious look then. "How 'bout you? Feeling better?"

"Yes." Max nodded. "Dis coor ails."

"Success!" Chuck sat up straight, faced forward, and pumped his fists over his head. "Woo!"

They all laughed, and then there was a ding from Carina's laptop and the screen blinked once. He paused. And then he pumped his fists again. "Success here too! Oh man, I'm on a roll!" Rubbing his hands together first like a freaking cartoon character, he dove back in, typing like mad, then grabbing the nearby jump drive from the table and sticking it in the side of the laptop.

"What he do?" Max asked, leaning against Sarah, looking a little more tired now, she noticed as he put his arms around her neck and cuddled her. She hoped with everything in her that he never grew out of wanting to cuddle like this. He would, damn it, but she hoped it took a long, long time.

"He's fixing your auntie's laptop for her."

"Pooter b'oken?"

"Mhm."

"Oh." He paused. "Bad."

Sarah could see an idea sprout in the little boy's head then as he pulled away from her and moved to stand on her thigh. "Ow," she muttered. "What are you doing?"

But he was already walking over the space between her chair and Chuck's. Chuck acted fast, thankfully, taking his hands away from the computer to grab Max under his armpits, holding him up so that he didn't fall to the floor. And then he walked over Chuck's lap, reckless, not caring where his feet ended up.

Chuck winced, but let him go until he finally got to Carina who hoisted him away from Chuck to set the two year old on her lap. "Hi. Quite a journey you made there." Max nodded, panting a little. "How are you?"

"Good. Dis fuh you." He held up Lovey. "She hug." He hugged the stuffed animal blanket, rocking back and forth, and then he offered her to Carina.

"She?" Carina asked. "I thought…"

"Just go with it," Sarah said with a shrug, wrinkling her nose.

Carina took it and giggled. "This is very sweet. Thank you, Max. I feel better about my computer being broken now."

He nodded, then gave her a diplomatic look. "Need hi'fi'?" He held up his hand. She slapped it and he giggled, pulling his hands into his chest.

Chuck made a quiet humming sound, then clasped his face between his hands and turned to Sarah. "Oh my God, he's so cute," he whispered.

She beamed. "I know. I can't stand it most days."

And she couldn't help silently congratulating her kid for putting on quite the impressive show. Granted, he might give Chuck the wrong idea: this toddler who's perfectly well-behaved and always sweet and thoughtful and never has fits or tantrums or wants what he wants and who cares about anything or anyone else because he's freaking two and that's what two year olds do. Chuck had seen one of his crying fits, too, though, so maybe he was getting a nice blend.

Chuck took the drive out then and gently shut Carina's laptop. "I actually have good news for your auntie, Max, because her computer's allllll fixed." He held up the jump drive. "This is for the LAPD. You want me to put a label on it or anything? I've got jump drive labels."

"Ooooof course you do," Carina drawled. And Sarah thought she'd let that crack slide because it wasn't worse than the things Sarah'd said to Chuck (but laced with flirtation).

"Nothing wrong with being prepared," Sarah said, and she heard said flirtation in her tone. "As a single parent of a two and a half year old, I thoroughly approve of preparedness."

Chuck grinned at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

There was a moment, and she felt it, a warmth settling there between them, mutual affection, respect, and she wanted to fall into it, wrap herself up in it. But it was interrupted suddenly by Chuck making a comical choking sound, and she realized Max was grabbing onto his zip-up hoodie and yanking it to keep from falling as he tried to clamber back the way he'd come.

"Uh, buddy…you're a little bulldozer tonight," Carina giggled, helping him with her hand under his butt to keep him safe.

Chuck turned to accept Max onto his lap, and Sarah didn't miss the smart and subtle way he cupped his hand protectively over his crotch as Max bulldozed through.

Max made a disgruntled whining sound as he made grabby hands for the milk he'd left on the table by Sarah.

"Do you think you can ask for the milk with your words, maybe?" Sarah asked.

"Mi'k?" He rubbed a circle over his stomach, and she knew it meant please but she gave him a look anyway and he mumbled, "P'ease."

"Good. Much better." She handed him the milk and he distractedly planted his knees on Chuck's thighs and just stayed there, tilting the cup all the way back and guzzling.

Chuck froze as Sarah leaned back to meet Carina's gaze over his shoulder.

"Huh," the redhead muttered. "That's interesting."

Sarah gave Chuck a questioning look then and he just smiled, surprise still in his face, then shrugged. He didn't seem to know where to put his hands though, which was sweet. And a reminder that even though he was genuinely kind and warm with Max, he still was in a little over his head with this situation. It was more comforting somehow than if he'd taken to Max immediately and vice versa, like he was a professional kid charmer or something.

One of those too good to be true moments with him that scared her. Instead, he was a human being, a really good one, but not a perfect one. She was so glad. She could work with imperfection.

Max took another long gulp of the milk and put the cup down properly this time. Sarah wondered if the other two had held their breath the way she had as they all watched him do it.

The moment was interrupted by a beeping sound then and Carina took her phone out of her pocket. Sarah watched as a smirk grew over the lawyer's face as Max uttered another, distracted BEEP.

"Well, that's my cue. If you're sure everything's all taken care of here, Tech Hero?" Carina surged up to her feet, a bit hurried in her movements. Sarah knew what she'd seen on her phone. Her friend had it all figured out, the single best way to release tension, stress, anxiety. It worked for her. And she had ways of getting what she needed that worked for her too. And she was reminded again of just how different Carina's lifestyle was from her own, and how they still managed to meet in the middle when they were together, even when they were fighting or disagreeing with each other.

Even when Sarah felt tiny spikes of envy at the redhead's freedom, a freedom she no longer had.

She would always feel that envy here and there, even if she was happy with the choice she'd made three years ago, even if Max was her whole world. She was only human.

"Everything is taken care of. You've got the jump drive. The program the bast—erm, the…bad guys used on your laptop is on there." Chuck must've realized Max had shifted around in his lap to stare at him, listening intently. And that he needed to mind the words he said in front of him. She appreciated it. Max was a freaking sponge these days.

"Good. Great. Thank you. You are a lifesaver." She shoved everything away in her bag and grabbed the jump drive, holding it up. "I'll take this to the LAPD first thing in the morning." She looked like she was close to leaning down, then froze mid-stoop, her gaze flicking up to Sarah. "Can I kiss this man's face, Sar? In gratitude of course."

Without thinking about it, Sarah giggled and shook her head. "That's not within my jurisdiction. He's not mine. Ask him."

Carina lifted her eyebrows in surprise. Chuck looked straight ahead. "May I?" Chuck smiled and nodded, a blush on his face. The woman stooped all the way then and placed a quick peck to Chuck's cheek. "You're a gem, nerd. Thank you. Sincerely. And you're a good sport," she tossed out there, almost as if on second thought. Sarah appreciated it. And she flashed Carina a smile to let her know.

Her best friend squeezed her shoulder as she swept past.

"Hey, Max. You be good for your mom and Chuck, huh?"

"Kay! Byeeee wuv 'oo."

She leaned over Sarah to ruffle his hair, then blew a kiss. "Bye kiddo. Love you too. Love you, Sar. And Chuck…I kinda love you too right now." She wiggled the jump drive. "Is that weird? Can I say that?"

"You can say it," he chuckled, good-naturedly. "I'm happy to have helped."

With a wink, Carina was gone, leaving the three of them alone, and Sarah felt an almost nervous tension as Max spotted the toy airplane on the table and picked it up, making cute bvvvvvvv bvvvvvvv! sounds as he swept it around through the air, still not seeming to mind, or maybe not even notice, he was sitting in a relatively new person's lap.

Chuck cleared his throat finally, one hand having eventually settled on Max's side, probably to provide the kid stability since the airplane business was proving to cause him to sway to the side a bit dangerously. "Should I head out too?"

"You have a b-o-o-t-y call like Carina?" she teased.

He snorted, shaking his head. "Um. No. Not me. That's not…my style. But, uh, more power to her." He blushed, watching Max's hand surge through the air. He was watching closely, she noticed. It felt pointed.

"I don't really want you to go just yet," she said then, quietly. "Unless you have to. If you have to, of course I understand."

Chuck's gaze turned to her with a snap of his head, his eyebrows raised. "Yeah. I-I mean, no I don't have to. Yeah, I'll stay. I won't go. Not yet. If you don't…want me to."

"No go," Max said, pulling the plane in close to his chest and turning to look at Chuck. "D'aw p'ane?"

Sarah giggled, tucking some hair behind her ear a little shyly. "Max, Chuck's drawn a lot for you already tonight. And I think you have to try to go back to sleep, my guy."

Abject horror swept onto his face as he froze, spinning around on Chuck's lap to face her all the way. It made Chuck choke with laughter and he muffled it quickly against his fist. "No s'eep! No, Mommy! Nooo!"

She rolled her eyes and gave Chuck a flat look as he continued trying not to laugh. "You see the melodrama I have to put up with?"

"That's talent, honestly." Chuck shrugged, and she snorted in amusement.

The two year old grabbed his cup then. "Ah done wif mi'k."

"Okay fine. Fine, we'll compromise then," Sarah said, still sometimes enthralled with how his smart little brain worked. She was going to have to watch out for him as he got older. There was a chance he might run rings around her with his cunning little mind. "You finish that milk, you go to bed. And no slow drinking on purpose," she added.

"Smart," Chuck muttered out of the side of his mouth. "Closed that potential loophole."

Max pouted and nodded as Sarah sent Chuck a proud smirk.

"I've been doing this for a few years now. Sometimes I've got it where it counts," she said with a jaunty one-shoulder shrug.

"You've always got it where it counts and…other places too." He winced. "That was better flirting in my head and it came out a whole mess. Sorry."

Sarah laughed and stood up, and then she bent down and pressed a slow, pointed kiss to his cheek. She hovered with her lips by his ear. "I know what you were trying to say and I appreciate it." She kissed him right behind his ear. "A lot."

His cheeks went red and he cleared his throat, a pleased look on his face. "Oh good. Thanks. Thanks for that grace."

She giggled and ruffled his hair, then moved her hand to Max's, doing the same to his straighter, lighter locks. "Hey, you."

"What, Mommy?" He cheesed up at her, his grin big, having gotten his way at least a bit and probably feeling good about it.

"Why don't you show Chuck the rock you found at the park with Grandpa this morning while I get him another drink?"

Chuck looked up at her. "Oh you don't have to. I can get my own—"

"You're the guest. And you more than earned it. What do you want?"

"I hab joos? Mommy, joos!" Max interrupted.

"Hey. You have your milk, and you're drinking it and then going back to sleep, remember?" He pouted. "No juice right before sleeping. That'd be a major mistake," she said under her breath.

"Sugar," Chuck agreed.

She smiled at him even as she backed towards the kitchen. "Chuck," she said, giving her son a significant look she hoped he took to mean not you, "what'll you have?"

"If you don't mind parting with a beer, that sounds pretty good right now."

"You got it," she said, smirking at the way he'd phrased that.

"How's your milk, Max? Like it?" she heard him asking as she left them behind to go to the kitchen.

"Mhmmm."

She opened her fridge quickly, snagging a beer and trotting over to the drawer where she kept the bottle opener, peeking out to see Max point from where he still sat on Chuck's lap.

"What?" Chuck asked. Max pointed again. She knew what he wanted because she knew Max's language better than anybody, but she wanted him to say it so she didn't pipe up even as she opened Chuck's beer for him. "Um, your rock? Do you want me to get something for you?"

"No." Max shook his head then pointed again. "Down." He pointed again. "Down. I s'ow w'ock."

"Oh! Of course! Down! You got it, my dude!"

Sarah smiled as she finally swung out of the kitchen, watching Chuck help Max down off of his lap. Max immediately sprinted off, his no-spill cup dangling from his fingers.

Chuck looked up to see her approaching and he surged to his feet quickly, accepting the beer with a thanks.

"You're good for him," she said as they turned to watch him dig through his box of things he'd found and kept during his adventures with her dad. She realized that sounded a little intense and she rushed out, "You don't know his weird little language he uses, the pointing, the whining sounds, the grunts, when he signs… so he's forced to actually talk to you, use his words." She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. "He knows he can cut corners with the rest of us, so he does."

He chuckled. "Is that particularly wily for a two year old, or is it normal?"

"I dunno," she said with a shrug. "I'm not very familiar with other two year olds. We go to the park a lot and there are usually the same kids there, a few of them are close to his age and some of them can have full-on conversations—he's definitely not there yet."

She sniffed in amusement, watching as Max made an excited sound and lifted his fist above his head triumphantly with a "I GODDIT!"

"But then sometimes they do dumb stuff like picking up a stick and trying to eat it and their parents have to run over and take it and tell them that's not for eating. Max knows not to eat a freaking stick." Chuck laughed and she smirked. "He sees and understands more than I think any of us know." And then she admitted something quietly, something she hadn't even said to her parents or to Carina, with how immediately defensive she knew they'd all be. "I was thinking of getting him in for a check-up, just to see…what they think about his development. He isn't as fast or steady on his feet as some of the other kids I see playing at the park. He can't throw a ball like they do. It still isn't really a concept he understands." She shifted her weight uneasily. "And it isn't like I'm concerned or whatever, I guess I'm just curious? Or maybe I should leave the kid alone and let him learn at his own pace." She rolled her eyes. "Or maybe I shouldn't even be thinking shit like this about my own kid," she said under her breath.

"Hey," he said, lowering the beer from his lips before he could take a sip. "I keep saying this. I don't know jack about parenting so maybe I should keep my mouth shut. But it doesn't feel like a great injustice for you to see where other kids his age are in their development and compare and contrast." He shrugged. "What if you take him for a, I dunno, what do they call it? A development check-up?"

She shrugged again. "I dunno. This is my first time doing this."

"That's fair," he said with a giggle, but then Max slammed into his legs, causing him to let out a surprised yelp, and the two year old's hand jutted up with a rock clutched in his fist.

"D'ere w'ock!"

Chuck flashed her a wide-eyed look. "I feel like being able to teleport gets you high marks in development school."

Sarah cracked up at that, watching as Max grabbed Chuck's hand and forced the rock into his fingers.

"It ha', uhhh, b'ue. G'een. B'ack."

The excited "ooooooo" sound Chuck made seemed to please Max greatly, and then he brought it close to his eye, shutting the other one and squinting. "Hmmmm…yes. I see zis rock is a fine specimen," he said in a silly Austrian accent. "Ze colors svirling. Ze blues. Ze greens. Yaaah." He made a satisfied face and lowered the rock again, nodding. "Ze only way zis could be more perfect would be if ze rock were perfectly round." Then he offered the rock back to Max as the two year old laughed at Chuck's antics.

Beaming, Sarah knelt down at Max's side and hugged him, charmed out of her mind by the sound of his laughter. It was like the sun had settled in her chest and its rays were stretching out their bright limbs, coiling through the rest of her body. "Is Chuck funny?"

"Yeees," Max responded, still laughing as he put his arm around her neck. He uncurled his arm from around her then and reached up to take the rock back from Chuck. "T'anks."

"You're welcome. Thanks for showing me your super cool rock. I love it. That's a very good find. You're a regular geologist."

Max stopped and blinked. "What dis? Eeee-ol-ist."

"A geologist is someone who studies our planet, the Earth," Chuck replied. "The dirt, the crust, the different layers under that. The rocks we have on Earth. And how it's all changed over time."

"W'ock change?"

Chuck made a thoughtful face and reached over to set his bottle down on the table behind him, before he knelt down to get to Max and Sarah's level. "Not quickly. Not in any way that we can see because it's very slow. Over miiiiillions of years. But change does happen."

"Oh. Dis change?" He looked at his rock in his little palm.

"I think that one is going to stay the same for as long as you have it."

"Oh. Dis good."

The Nerd Herd specialist giggled and nodded. "Yeah, I don't like my rocks to change either."

But Max had already brought his cup to his lips, and Sarah watched with bated breath as he tipped it back so far she had to put a hand at his back to keep him from falling onto his backside. And then the milk was gone and he made a satisfied little gasp, licking the little mustache off from above his lips.

"Max, that milk wouldn't happen to be…finished, would it?"

His eyes went wide as he realized what he'd just done. "No, Mommy. 'ant mo' mi'k."

"You can't have more milk. We had an agreement. You finish that milk, that milk right there in that cup, and you go back to bed to sleep."

"Noooo. 'ot tiii-oooowd!"

"I know you think you're not tired, but let's try anyway," she said gently. "Come on, let's say goodnight to Chuck, okay?" She turned him to face Chuck as the man still kneeling there thrusted his hand out between them.

"Will you go to sleep like your mom asks? And I promise next time, I'll bring you a super cool rock if you do that." He winced and glanced at Sarah. "If that's cool with your mom."

"It's cool with me," she said, giving him her best grateful look. Because she knew the effect that would have on her son.

She was right.

He became excited immediately. "Okay!" And he pushed his hand at Chuck's, letting Chuck clasp his fingers around the tiny fist and shake it. "I go to s'eep. When I get w'ock?"

"As soon as possible," Sarah said, sending Chuck a significant look. Then she made a regretful face. "As soon as Mommy's schedule gets sorted out."

"Okay, so't ou' skeddle," he ordered, turning to face her with a serious look on his face.

Chuck barked out a laugh as Sarah pulled her chin back. "Wow. Bossy. Fine, I'll sort out my schedule." Sarah lifted him into her arms and stood up with a bit of a groan. She turned to look at Chuck as Max hugged her. "I'm not even going to pretend he didn't get that from me."

That made him laugh again and she put Max on his own two feet. "Wanna put your rock away and say goodnight?"

"Yeah!"

Max toddled over to his collection box and dropped the rock inside, then toddled back to Chuck and hugged one of his legs. Sarah could see the man melting, his brow furrowing and his lips pressing together. She related so hard. "Bye, Max. Thanks for the hug, dude."

"We'come, doo!"

Chuck laughed, patting Max's head, and then Max pushed his milk cup into the older man's hand. "Oh. Thanks."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Max, you can put it on the table or give it to me. Chuck's a guest."

"Oh no no. I got it. I've totally got it. I'll take this into the kitchen for you, Max, okay?"

Sighing, the P.I. signaled to her son with a raise of her eyebrow, and that was enough for him to say, "T'ank 'oo." And then he pulled away and walked heavily, each step a bit of a stomp, back to the hallway and towards his room.

Sarah moved over to the table and found Lovey on the floor next to the chair where Chuck had been sitting. "I'm going to make sure he gets into bed okay, but will you…stay 'til I get back? Please?"

He smiled. "For sure." He lifted the cup then. "Um, and I'll handle this."

"You don't have to. You can literally just leave it there."

"Nah I got it."

Sarah gave him a long look, the corner of her mouth turning up, and then she left him behind, following her son to his bedroom, trying in vain to keep her brain quiet.

A/N: Y'all spending all your review time trashing Carina are about to have a field day, huh.

(Carina smirk)

-SC