CW: More talk of previous miscarriage :(

They retrieved fresh garments from his quarters and headed directly to the wash facility. The washing room was nearly empty with only a couple warriors and an unblood bathing.

Raz'ha ordered an unblood out of the bathing pool with weaker cleansing chemicals. The unblood quickly chirped his agreement and scrambled into the next pool. "Apologies, honored warrior. I didn't know you intended to bathe your ooman at this time."

Raz'ha forced his gruff reply down as he undressed. The unblood was a student and did nothing wrong to warrant his annoyance. In truth, his annoyance was over his own lack of understanding his ooman. "Thank you. Ooman flesh is sensitive to strong chemicals and this is where she must wash."

The unblood chirped, trying his best to steal glances at Amelia without provoking Raz'ha to a challenge. "I am honored to relinquish the pool for your needs."

Raz'ha nodded and helped Amelia into the pool as the unblood discreetly watched. He was relieved that Amelia simply ignored the unblood's attention. He took off her dress and began scrubbing it in the water as she rubbed the slime from her arm in silence. Much like the unblood, Raz'ha also stole glances at her. She seemed tired and lost in her own mind. She was neither upset about the pup near death nor happy to have saved many pups today.

Remembering that oomans approached subjects less directly, he said, "You are quiet."

"Sorry, I'm just worried about Mah'sic. If he catches chirnik here, he will be humiliated." She used her blunt nails to scrape off dried mucus from her arm. Even the cleaning agent struggled to dissolve the mess. Her garment would probably not come clean.

He gave her response some thought. "The females will question him about chirnik. He will be praised if he aids pups with knowledge as you have done."

"I don't know if he will see it that way," she murmured. "He's finally getting a little food to eat and if they're leaving for his chiva soon, he can't get sick now. You told him there was an outbreak?"

"Yes." He struggled with something to say. "If the unblood is ill, I will offer my aid in expelling the sickness."

She gave him her amused ooman smile. "You will regret that."

He chirped in question.

She understood the sound and said, "He is very disgruntled when he is sick. Worst patient ever."

He was not concerned with the unblood's ill temper. "Mah'sic's temperament is easier. I understand much even if Taurens have different customs."

"But you are confused about me." She looked at his face. "About me and babies."

He gave a nod. "I expected you to make ooman water for Du'sa."

She gave it thought. "To you he was dying, but he only had a seasonal cold to me. It's just a nuisance sickness." She shrugged. "He will get better."

Two of his students hadn't survived, but he didn't tell her that. "You are not proud to save his life?"

She quirked a brow. "I don't know. Should I be?"

"One in three pups die of chirnik." He tilted his head. "It is the most frequent cause of pup death on our ship. It ensures my clan remains small."

"That just makes me sad and frustrated." Her brows lowered as she made her angry face. She scrubbed her shoulder cleaning off the last of the mucus.

He did not understand. "Why?"

"It's a simple sickness with a simple treatment. You don't even need medicine." She waved her hands at nothing in an angry gesture he recognized. "It just seems ridiculous that anyone should die like that. Many ways here seem unnecessary and," she made a choked noise, "sad."

The unblood was growing nervous in the next pool as he watched the exchange. He clearly did not understand her language but seemed to discern her anger.

"My clan may not thank you for your aid, but I do." He gripped her shoulder as he would for a celebrated warrior. It saddened him that his clan would not honor her. They would profit from her again while Amelia remained frightened and hungry. "You accomplished an important task and should feel pride."

She looked up at him helplessly. "Raz'ha, I," she shook her head, "I don't want anyone to die. If I can help, I will, but you guys should really have a chat with Mah'sic about things like medicine. Honor him. He knows more than me."

"I will recommend it to the elders." He returned to washing her garment. "May I ask you questions you will dislike?"

She made a laughing huff. "If you are okay with answers you will dislike."

He clicked at her sarcasm, recognizing that he said something inappropriate for an ooman.

"Ask away, Raz'ha." As she agreed verbally she shook her head in a confusing no gesture.

Already having erred he could not retreat. He shrugged a shoulder and asked, "Did Du'sa make you sad for your own sucklings?"

Her gaze dropped from his face similar to the way she refused to see him before. He did not understand this gesture but began to suspect it was a sign that she was withdrawing despite standing beside him.

"Amelia?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

He chirped his confusion.

"I don't know what you want me to say." She twisted her hands together. "I know Du'sa is not mine and I have no plans to try to keep him if that is what you're asking."

"I am asking if the pup made you sad."

"A little, maybe, wondering what mine may have looked like. If things were different." She shrugged again. "I don't focus on that. What happened can't be undone and is best left in the past. I don't like to talk about it."

He stopped himself before blurting out his next thought. Carefully he said, "I am not ooman. I know I will offend but I ask only to understand."

Her profile shifted more away from him as she nodded her consent.

He rumbled a purr preemptively. "I heard a female bearing a pup to care for would ease grieving. Is this not true for oomans?"

"One doesn't just replace the other." She took a deep breath and shook her head, no. "It's not that simple."

He chirped but it was a long time before she replied.

"The next one may not survive. There are never any true guarantees." Her voice sounded detached. "What if one did survive? Would my child be yautja?" She did look at him in a strange blank way that made him uncertain. "Would my child be a slave or free? Would they be accepted or would they be lonely and friendless or even mateless for a long miserable life?"

The detachment dropped and her brows creased again. "Why would anyone put another life in that situation? That wouldn't make me feel better."

"I would ensure their happiness," he said readily even as he was unsure how to do that. He would learn. "I would do what is necessary. I would find it a suitable mate even if it requires an ooman."

"Raz'ha, it isn't that easy. I made my choice to be with Val'jek, but a child would have none. They would probably be a slave. We both know it."

Raz'ha disagreed with that assumption. Instead of voicing his thoughts on that, he reminded her, "You are slave in name only and do as you wish. Elder Val'jek ensures it. He would ensure this for your offspring if necessary."

There was no shame in relying on the elder's higher rank. It would offer more for Amelia and her pups, and ensuring both were protected was more important than his pride.

"And if my child outlives him? Val'jek will probably outlive me but what about a mixed race yautja?" She was making her stubborn face.

"He has taken measures to protect you. The same would be done for your offspring." He rumbled. "I would ensure there is protection."

He intended to say more but he was rendered mute by a startling realization. Amelia was not opposed to bearing a suckling. She was afraid of what might befall her offspring. If she did not want a pup, she would not question him with these numerous fears she appeared to harbor. She would not have those fears if she did not think of pups.

She frowned at his answer. "Yautja men don't typically care for babies. In my culture, we call fathers who don't care for their children deadbeats."

"I am unfamiliar with this word." He cocked his head trying to mimic her.

Her voice was flat. "It's derogatory. It means they are irresponsible, disloyal, and losers."

He recoiled. Amelia thought this of males? "Yautja do not think this way. Females do not want males to care for pups."

Is this how the elder bonded with her? Elder Val'jek had an unnatural relationship with his offspring. Thoughts of how he struggled to hold Du'sa came to mind and he felt suddenly inadequate. She had seen this deficiency in him today.

"I know." She sank lower and began washing her ooman hair. She had dismissed the topic and Raz'ha was left feeling more unsettled than before he questioned her.

He did his best to clean the garment but as he suspected, it was stained. He moved on to washing his own body and ignored the unblood trying to figure out a way to broach a conversation. It was likely about mating with Amelia.

Unbloods and young bloods couldn't seem to help themselves and he had numerous requests to mate her. They would not challenge Raz'ha for her, since they had no hope of winning, but they could be annoying and persistent. He suspected half of the males would still be willing to pursue the ooman even after knowing how difficult it was to engage in ooman mating. They were full of confusing rituals and unspoken expectations.

And they didn't mate for offspring, which was the most confusing part of it all.

#

The next day

He placed the medkit beside her pash breakfast. Before she could ask, Raz'ha said, "I will not hinder you, but I have difficulty fulfilling this duty."

His mandibles closed tightly and she realized his face was expressing his discomfort or perhaps even humiliation. She ached for him as he was caught in her alien culture. He hadn't known sex was about love and pleasure instead of just babies.

"I understand," she said and took a steadying breath. She inched closer and gently touched his mandibles. He flinched and his body grew more tense. Undeterred, she stroked his face with both hands. "Neither of us knew what we were getting into. It will be all right though. I will manage my medicines and you won't have to feel conflicted."

He seemed torn but his mandibles released their death grip on each other. "Forgive my failure in this task."

"It's no failure," she started but realized she would never convince him with denials. This was his ingrained culture. "It would be unnecessarily cruel to require you to perform this task. I release you from this duty." Her words sounded awkward to her ears, but she hoped formalities would make him feel reassured.

"Thank you, Amelia." Like magic the tension melted from his big body. He leaned into her palm and his opposite mandibles lightly dragged over her wrist.

"Thank you for understanding why this is important," she said.

He covered her hands and gently returned them to her. "We must eat before I am late for my duties."

She did her best to smile her agreement but couldn't help her concern. Did no babies mean Raz'ha was finished with her? She had known better than to grow attached to the warrior and yet here she was worrying that he may not want her anymore. What happened to the plan to keep him at arm's length?

She added her medicine to her food and they ate in silence both stewing in their thoughts.

#

That evening

She was in the hall with Yeyinde when a procession of females caused a stir. A sinking feeling took residence in her belly at the sight of them coming to a level meant for males.

"Maybe a different route is best," Amelia murmured.

Yeyinde clicked agreement as he motioned her to take a right at the adjoining hallway. Even with her mask she barely made out anything in the dark hall. She heard that locations frequented by the younger males had even less lighting but this was downright blinding. How did Mah'sic and the others cope?

"Amelia of the Taurens," a distinctly female voice called.

Amelia froze and Yeyinde gripped her shoulder, steering her a step behind him as they turned to face the owner of the voice. His mandibles spread wide and his chest puffed in a display that would intimidate most. She recognized his subtle nudges as the procession approached them. He was shielding her, and through her history with Val'jek, she recognized that the claw on her shoulder wasn't happenstance. If he decided to carry her, he'd steer her into his chest by that shoulder and lift her by the hips with the other arm.

Yeyinde expected to flee with her. That could only mean that if there was a confrontation, he didn't expect it to be honorable because he certainly wasn't a coward.

"Amelia has a meeting to attend," Yeyinde said as he clicked a simultaneous greeting.

"I will let Honored Warrior Raz'ha know she will be late." The female waved a hand and one of her procession broke off. The nameless female headed down the better lit hall.

Yeyinde rumbled indistinct displeasure.

"Make introductions, warrior," the female said.

Yeyinde stared for a moment too long but then did as instructed in his own way. "Amelia, this is Del'is, an esteemed female of our clan." His clicks were technically praise, but Amelia had the impression they were sarcastic. As sarcastic as clicks could be anyway.

Amelia bowed her head as appropriate.

"Del'is, I introduce Amelia of the Taurens, mate to Elder Val'jek also of the Taurens, and sponsor of our trade negotiations, and curer of chirnik."

That was a serious deviation from the script and she gaped at him behind her mask.

"I am honored to meet with you, esteemed ooman," the large female said.

Amelia bowed her head again as her mind raced. This was no happenstance and she struggled to remember who this female was and why everyone who entered the hall stopped to watch this introduction. She hadn't been introduced by any title so couldn't be a priestess, but yautja ranks and titles could be a little more categorical rather than specific to a person. The female hadn't used Yeyinde's honored warrior when addressing him. Though Amelia was pretty sure that was a subtle jab feigned as if she hadn't noticed.

"We must go if the ooman is to eat." Yeyinde added subtle pressure to her shoulder, encouraging her to inch back.

"That is why we have come to visit this level," the female said as if he wasn't trying to make an exit. "There are rumors of harsh conditions and terrible hunger in the male quarters. We are told it is exaggerated complaints, that males whine over small discomforts." She chuffed. "We see now there is much truth to these rumors. Don't you agree, ooman?"

Amelia said, "It's rumored that all suffer on this ship."

"It was wise and generous of you to alleviate that with your own food supply and join us in our hunger." There was a note of expectation as Del'is tilted her head in Amelia's direction.

"Any would have," she said hoping to mitigate the praise in case an insult was to follow.

"Many have not." Del'is stepped closer. "Many will not."

And then it clicked. This was Del'is, the person pulling the strings in the background. She was the driving force in most regime changes during Raz'ha's adult years.

"I can't say I speak for others or know truth from rumor for sure," Amelia said, evading the implications of the clan leadership doing nothing.

Del'is chuffed. "I say it is truth."

"That is very disheartening then."

"Yes, and unacceptable. Is it not proper to address these disheartening practices as you've addressed the hunger and now the chirnik outbreak?"

Amelia looked around and understood the purpose of the procession now. It was a campaign stop. Del'is was rallying support and trying to capitalize on the dumb luck of Amelia helping their young. If only the female knew how unimpressive a human endorsement would be. An answer was expected though, so Amelia pulled herself together.

"That depends on what replaces the current practices. Where I come from it's important to be diligent and look closely at new ideas and new leaders or we risk repeating the same vicious cycle of oppression and corruption. I am told it's a universal trap, this blindly ushering in the new when we are done with the old."

The female tilted her head. "Of course, though we have a system in which we choose our leaders from priestesses who are experienced and constantly scrutinized."

"Yes," Amelia said cautiously but for an inexplicable reason her anger crept up. "That can be an advantage if someone wanted to look back on past issues and see where a candidate stood. It makes it easier to see what they do when they aren't needing to make desperate attempts at endorsements or support." Amelia shrugged, feigning indifference.

Amelia watched the female stiffen, but her tone remained friendly. "I agree and understand you are skeptical as a newcomer from a corrupt homeworld of lower beings."

"I'm glad and hope you report back to leadership about the living conditions. Now, please excuse us, I'm incredibly hungry and others are waiting before they can eat as well." She bowed her head to Del'is and said a farewell without giving the yautja female a chance to reply or protest without being rude.

With one last assessing look between them, they walked in opposite directions.

They traveled two halls and Yeyinde remained silent. A very strange thing from the warrior.

"Tell me what happened with your father," Amelia said.

"He was labeled bad blood. I performed my duty." No hesitation. No elaborate explanations or excuses.

This was murky water, given their new friendship, but she had to know. "But he wasn't one, was he?"

No clicks gave his words context. "He never denied the charge."

Amelia mulled that information over, trying to imagine a younger Yeyinde tasked with killing his own father. Yautja didn't have strong familial relationships as adults, but this was different. Mek'ja had been a mentor and therefor one of the biggest influences on Yeyinde. Thinking about Raz'ha and his students, it was simple enough to see he cared for them in his way. He risked much to protect them. Mek'ja was where they'd both learned it from.

"Of course he didn't deny it," Amelia murmured. "That would have made you a murderer."

"Sei," Yeyinde said softly.

"Did you know at the time?" she pressed but kept her voice low in the hall.

Yeyinde didn't answer.

Raz'ha barreled at them at a dead run, ending any more prodding she would have done. The green warrior lifted her off her feet as he scanned her with his mask.

"What are you-?"

"You met with Del'is," Raz'ha said.

"We spoke," she said, "nothing more."

He placed her on her feet as abruptly as he'd picked her up. Then he ushered her along as the males exchanged informal greetings.

"She speaks out against leadership and seems to be raising support, but didn't say who for," Amelia said.

"Sain'ja believes it's Priestess Ark'ee," Raz'ha supplied as Yeyinde returned to his abnormal silence.

"What do you know of her? Is she better? Can she take over without starting a civil war in the halls?"

Raz'ha's hand dropped away as if he'd just noticed he still touched her and he clicked at her. "With the right strategy it has been done before, but she is like all the other priestesses. It is only now that she becomes interested in males and criticizing leaders."

There seemed to be no alternative. Democracy didn't seem suitable with their social structure. There was no one else stepping up to lead. Amelia wasn't sure it would do any good though.

If only she could stop noticing Raz'ha's distance, that his hand remained at his side instead of on her back to reassure her. She cut off the thoughts and reprimanded herself for getting caught up in her attraction to him again. This wasn't permanent. Val'jek was coming and she would go home and Raz'a would stay with his clan.

Living in darkness. Risking his reputation and life protecting his students.

She couldn't leave him like that. "More of the same isn't going to work."

Raz'ha clicked agreement.

"I'll talk to Elder Durnst and see where he stands."

"I wasn't certain until after," Yeyinde said.

Raz'ha trilled confusion.

Yeyinde didn't reply to Raz'ha and watched her as they walked. "It was already done per his wishes which was to maintain peace." He trilled. "I have known."

"But how did you discover the truth?" she pressed.

Yeyinde looked away and she thought he might not reply. "They wanted me to take a trophy, but we hadn't challenged. He surrendered to me."

And that wasn't done. You took trophies from battles not executions. The lie would have been counter to his entire life of learning.

"You said nothing of this," Raz'ha said, appearing to understand the topic now.

"There is no proof." Yeyinde shrugged. "Only my interpretation and instincts."

That had both warriors turning silent.

"I'm sorry they did that to you, Yeyinde," Amelia said softly. She touched her fist to her chest.

Yeyinde mimicked the gesture half heartedly.

His father and teacher must have felt very deeply and been honorable to willingly volunteer for execution. It worried her that he was labelled a bad blood and executed so easily though.

"He was being considered for an elder position at the time, wasn't he?"

Raz'ha answered for Yeyinde. "Sei, and it's said that's how they discovered his plans for treason and to assassinate the high priestess."

"Who got the position instead?" she asked.

"Elder Ev'jek."

She snorted. "The one demoting males over food. Of course."

They arrived at Raz'ha's quarters. There was an awkward moment before the warrior left to retrieve their food, but no words explained the moment that passed.

"If females enter the hall, run to retrieve me as fast as you're able. Don't wait," Raz'ha could be heard saying to the unblood guard at the door.

# # # #

Author's Notes: We have a lot going on for our poor characters with even more stress and mess on the way. What do we think of this impromptu campaign stop in a dark hallway?