"A skirmish, Remus? Without proper planning? It's reckless! " Tonks exclaimed, her voice sharp with worry. " Moody and Dumbledore have lost it, and you– you and Sirius thinking this is a bright idea is completely mental! " Her hair, usually a vibrant bubblegum pink, was still a dull, mousy brown.
"There will be planning, " Remus protested. " We need to be proactive and show them that we are acting, that we have power, as well, " he said calmly, trying to inject a note of reassurance into his voice. " You know well that we cannot afford to wait for them to make the next move. "
"But to rush into a confrontation… " Tonks countered, her hands twisting in the fabric of her grey robes. " It's too dangerous for all, for you–especially, " she said, her large eyes now burning with something that Remus Lupin wanted to avoid desperately .
He sighed, settling down his teacup. Downstairs the dinner was still going on, even after Dumbledore's hasty departure. Remus Lupin was not immediately aware that the young witch he was avoiding had followed him back into the library.
"You are an Auror, Tonks , if you can't handle the pressure, the dangers, then I don't know what you are doing here, honestly, " he said in a firm voice, avoiding looking at her.
" Don't give me that, " she spat, angrily. " It's not that I am a coward– don't you see, Remus? " she said, raising her voice. " It's not just about the Order , you are not as young anymore and you cannot keep throwing yourself into danger like this. Sirius–he, he needs to get a grip , I'm sure you volunteered for this ridiculous operation because he was just so eager to get into a fight, that blasted cousin of mine, " she rambled angrily, eerily resembling Sirius at that moment.
"Tonks–I am not reckless, " he said in a voice that was gentle despite his growing irritation from her words. He was a seasoned Order member, he had seen danger and darkness, and he was not a fragile child.
Tonks shook her head, her expression unconvinced. " It's too much, Remus. It's all too much, " her voice trembled with unshed tears now and Remus Lupin turned around abruptly. He had seen her angry, he had seen her upset, he had even seen her cheekily coaxing him into a few stolen moments that had blinded him with desire, but he had never seen her defeated , this hurt before.
"I can't bear the thought of something happening to you, " she whispered, crossing her arms, and letting the tears run down her heart-shaped face.
Remus' patience finally snapped , he didn't want to see her like this, not because of him. " Nymphadora, " he said, his voice sharper than he intended. " You are not my mother–or, " he paused and looked at her with a detached stare. " Or, my wife. You don't get to dictate what risks I take, " he said.
Tonks recoiled as if he had struck her.
"N o, " she whispered, her voice hoarse. " No, I'm not your wife. But I… " she stopped, her throat tightening with emotion. Then with a surge of defiance, she listed her chin and met his gaze. " Don't pretend you don't know what I feel for you, " she said. " I– "
" Don't , please, " he said. " Just don't say it, " he repeated, unable to look at her properly. She stifled a cry and turned her back at him now, refusing to be seen like this, after the way he had spoken to her.
Remus wanted to smash everything around him for hurting her again. He didn't mean to be cruel, but his creeping fear and the burden of responsibility made him prickly, detached, even uncaring.
Even though the reality was that he deeply cared for the young woman in front of him.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off, her voice trembling with barely suppressed anger.
"Save it, Remus, " she said, turning back to face him, her face still red. " Just…be careful. Please. "
Remus groaned painfully when he saw the door closing behind him and got up abruptly to search Sirius' liquor cabinet, trying to suppress the need to break his friend's numerous bottles of amber-looking and spicy-tasting fire whiskey.
...
The remnants of the Order meeting echoed in Emma's mind, the weight of the information settling heavily on her. The night had been a whirlwind of revelations, each one sending a jolt of adrenaline through her.
Dumbledore's words reverberated in her thoughts: Peter might be behind Black's nightmares, the horrifying visions of Bellatrix Lestrange. It meant Peter was alive. And not just alive, but a Death Eater. Which then made Black ... what?
The encounter with Dumbledore after the meeting, Eulalia's prompting glare pushing her forward to introduce herself and hand over the vials, felt surreal. His brief, piercing gaze hadn't seemed to register anything amiss, but the encounter left her shaken nonetheless .
And then, the final blow: a planned operation at Augustus Rookwood's home the following week. Dumbledore's intelligence suggested Voldemort was moving between the homes of his wealthiest supporters – Malfoy, Rookwood, and Nott.
This was it. Her healing skills would be put to the test. She and Eulalia had agreed to remain at headquarters, ready to tend to any wounded members.
Her mind raced, struggling to process the onslaught of information, but one thought kept resurfacing, eclipsing all else. Peter was alive. He had been seen at the home of a known Death Eater. He could be connected to Black's torment. He had to be a Death Eater too .
And that meant Black ... was innocent.
Her head was pounding and the nausea did not let her calm down. Dinner was a blur and the clamour of the dinner table , usually a comforting symphony of clinking cutlery and lively conversation, grated on Emma's nerves. She pushed the food around her plate, her appetite nonexistent, her mind a maelstrom of conflicting emotions.
Tonks sat beside her, but she was not there. Her gaze was fixed across the table, a mixture of longing and anxiety etched on her face as she watched Remus Lupin engage in a conversation with Kingsley.
On Emma's other side, Fleur was recounting some tale that had Molly Weasley scowling. It was a welcome distraction, providing Emma with the perfect opportunity to slip away unnoticed.
"Excuse me, " she murmured, rising from her chair. Tonks barely registered her departure, her attention still on Lupin.
As Emma turned, she caught a glimpse of a familiar head of dark hair across the room. Sirius Black turned momentarily, his gaze intense, curious. He turned away as Hestia Jones leaned in to speak to him. Without making eye contact, Emma bolted out of the crowded basement kitchen, past the chattering portraits in the hallway, and finally, through the back door into the crisp night air.
Grimmauld's overgrown garden offered a place to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the house and the looming gazes of its tenants .
She realised she had never ventured out there before , and she spotted a ramshackle shed tucked behind a tangle of rose bushes that were charmed to remain a bit longer , in the autumnal weather.
She unhooked the clasp and pushed the wooden door, curious for a moment of respite. Slipping inside, she sank onto the dusty floor, drawing her knees to her chest. For a moment, the darkness was comfort, a shield against the chaos swirling within her.
Then, a low growl ripped through the silence.
Emma's eyes widened as she saw it , or rather him , a hulking shape emerging from the deeper shadows of the magical shed. Buckbeak, the hippogriff, his fierce, eagle-like head turned towards her, his talons scraping the wooden floor.
Fear, sharp and cold, flooded through her. She got up suddenly and scrambled back towards the door, a scream catching in her throat.
" Don't ! " she choked out, frantically scrambling for her wand while fiddling with the door hook with her other hand so she could extricate herself from the shed.
The beast spread his wings, his powerful frame filling the small space. He lowered his head, his beak inches from her face, his hot fishy breath washing over her.
Emma momentarily recoiled and then pointed her wand, her hand trembling. " Don't come any closer! " she shrieked.
In the meantime, she managed to open the door and she backtracked outside, losing her balance on her rushed exit outdoors.
The creature growled and followed her outside, opening and closing his wings while letting out angry huffs.
Emma kept backing away , her want steadily pointing at the hippogriff.
"Get away! " she shouted at the creature , which was now towering over her, his powerful legs stomping the ground. She was certain that the hippogriff was about to trample her, and she was hyperventilating, pushing panicked tears off her cheeks.
"Put your wand down! " someone hissed in an urgent voice from the direction of the house.
Emma instinctively turned toward the voice, while Buckbeak let out a shrill cry, his powerful wings unfurling as if preparing to take flight. She clutched her wand more tightly, adrenaline preventing her from lowering it as the voice instructed.
Sirius Black stepped out from behind the hippogriff, his tall and lean frame casting a deeper shadow in the dim light coming from his wand, which he held down, away from the creature. His long hair was tousled , grey eyes intense as he looked at her.
"S -Sirius? " Emma breathed her grip on her wand loosened slightly.
"Lower your wand, now! " he urged her again, before turning to calm the large creature. " Easy now, " Sirius murmured, taking a cautious step towards Buckbeak. The hippogriff snorted, his amber eyes still fixed on Emma.
" He's not going to hurt you, " Sirius Black said, his voice low, " but you need to put your wand away , it's upsetting him, " he said, touching the creature's mane hesitantly which gave him another snort from the hippogriff.
Emma hesitated, her heart still pounding against her ribs. Sirius urged her again, gesticulating at her wand but did not raise his voice, trying to sooth the creature. Emma slowly put her wand down, keeping it on her side.
" He's a proud creature, Buckbeak, " Sirius explained, gently stroking the hippogriff's featherly neck. " He doesn't take kindly to threats, " he said to her , looking at her with a frown.
"I was defending myself, " Emma hissed, annoyed at Black and the massive creature, and a bit at herself too, for being too distracted to remember about Black's hippogriff in the shed. Who even kept a beast like that among humans?
It was a curious sight, though, how Black was attuned to the creature's needs. He was treating the hippogriff with gentle care and affection, despite her almost being stomped to death by this beastly creature.
"Tuck your wand into your holder, " Black commanded, his voice still calm. With a deep breath, Emma lowered her wand further, tucking it back into her robes. Sirius Black smiled faintly.
" That's better, " he said. " Now, you owe Buckbeak an apology. A proper one. "
Emma frowned, unsure as she was trying to get up from the moist ground. " An apology? "
" He's sensitive, remember? " Sirius said, a hint of amusement in his voice. " You startled him and barged into his space. You need to show him respect and he won't hurt you. Eh, Buckbeak? " he asked playfully. " We don't scare girls, mate, " he patted the hippogriff again playfully.
Emma glared at Sirius, her cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. His shit-eating grin, the casual way he handled the magnificent creature as if it were a harmless puppy, grated on her nerves. Words failed her. How was she supposed to apologise to a beast that could tear her limb from limb?
Sirius then gestured towards the hippogriff, his wavy unkempt hair flying in all directions. " Bow to him. Low and slow. And look him in the eye. "
"What on earth are you about, you— " Emma started, irritated at this man's mad instructions. " Are you insane? "
Black huffed a laugh. " No, listen to me–look, I'll show you, " and with that remark, he stood between her and the creature, his lean body turning swiftly into a graceful bow, his right hand behind his back. He stared right into the amber eyes of the creature and a few seconds later the temperamental hippogriff bowed back at Black, who had a wide grin on his face.
"See, he is a good boy, " he told her, smiling a little.
Emma stared in disbelief, still wary, but she did as she was told , trying to fight off the growing irritation. She bowed deeply, keeping her gaze fixed on the hippogriff. For a moment, the only sound was the rustle of Buckbeak's feathers and the beating of her own heart.
Then, the hippogriff dipped his head in response, a low, rumbling sound emanating from his fury chest.
"See, kid? All forgiven. " Sirius chuckled, giving Buckbeak another affectionate pat.
Emma, pointedly ignoring his patronising tone, straightened up, her eyes darting between Sirius and the magnificent creature before her. " How did you...? " she began, her voice laced with confusion and a hint of annoyance. " Were you following me ?"
Black, who had been watching the hippogriff with a fond smile, suddenly turned back at her, with a quizzical look. " Following you? " Sirius scoffed a hint of amusement in his voice. " Hardly. I saw you bolt out of supper like a bat out of hell when Dumbledore left. It made me curious. Call it concern, if you may, " he added.
"Stop calling me things, " she said sharply, stepping away from the hippogriff's diameter as much as possible. Black just stared at her, his features even now, but still inquisitive .
"Very well, then, " he shrugged. " But this won't change that you still ran out of the meeting, " he returned.
Emma's cheeks flushed, her eyes hardening with defiance. " So what if I did? " she retorted, her voice sharper than she intended. " It's none of your business where I go or what I do ."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. " You're right, " he conceded, his voice calm. " It wouldn't be any of my business if you weren't acting like a startled hare every time I'm within ten feet of you ."
Emma bristled at his words, her anger masking a growing sense of panic. She couldn't let him see through her , couldn't let him uncover the truth about her past , about her connection to Peter. " I don't know what you're talking about, " she snapped, her voice trembling slightly. " You're imagining things ."
He was speaking to her differently, oddly, without the formal distance or gruffness of their previous conversations. It was almost as if he wanted to soothe her, just like he did with the creature, only minutes ago. His eyebrows were ascending his forehead, disappearing behind the hair that fell casually on his face and he had his hands up, as if to calm her, to explain that he was genuinely concerned.
"Listen, " she spoke again, more calmly now. " I'm fine. I just needed some air. "
"Right, " Black said with an awkward laugh. " And the shed, with a rather large hippogriff inside, was the closest source of fresh air? " he returned.
"Why do you even care? You barely know me, " she said, exasperation clear in her voice.
He struggled again and took a step closer, placing his hands deep into his pockets. She had noticed how he liked to do that.
"Maybe because you're the most intriguing thing that's happened to me since Azkaban, " he said steadily, looking at her.
She stared back at Black for a long time not knowing what to say. What was that supposed to mean?
"You should focus on fixing your sleep rather than chasing me around, " she replied in a clipped voice.
He chuckled at her comment, losing the fluster he showed when she had mentioned his nightmares before. " Now, who's being dramatic? " he asked. " I was simply curious, and perhaps a little concerned, " his eyes narrowed slightly. " You're a bit of a mystery, you know. "
Emma scoffed. " There's nothing mysterious about me, " she said adamantly.
" You're different, " he said finally , his voice low and husky. " There's something beneath the surface, something you're not letting anyone see ."
Emma's instincts screamed at her to flee, to put as much distance between them as possible. Yet, a part of her, a part she didn't understand, wanted to stay.
His eyes were laser-focused on her now. " Your reaction to the news about Regulus the other day, the way you were looking at Dumbledore…it is like you know something we don't , " he paused, tilting his head, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. " Almost as if you have something to hide, " he said in a firm voice that was oddly not accusatory .
"And you're obsessed with figuring me out, " she countered, her voice barely a whisper. " Why? " she asked.
Sirius didn't answer immediately. He studied her, his eyes tracing the lines of her face as if memorising every detail. " I don't know, " he finally admitted , his voice rough this time.
She couldn't explain her reaction to Regulus Black being a Death Eater, not even to herself. Perhaps it was something eerily close to home for her, a lingering suspicion that her brother was not who they all thought he was.
And only the man in front of her knew the truth.
" Don't be ridiculous, " she chastised him.
Sirius didn't answer, but his gaze held hers, unwavering and intense.
A sudden gust of wind swept across the grounds, carrying with it a chill that cut through Emma's sweater. She instinctively crossed her arms, trying to ward off the cold. Sirius Black took a step closer, seemingly sensing her being cold. She instinctively took a step back, as he approached her. His face was illuminated by the small lantern he had lit with his wand, just above their heads. The dim light highlighted the sharp angles of his cheekbones and made his grey eyes appear almost blue. She also noticed that he had a cleft chin, peppered with what seemed to be a half-grown beard now.
There was something in his stare, an intensity that made her uncomfortable. It was as if he was trying to see right through her, to unravel her carefully constructed defences.
The breeze suddenly whipped through the garden more prominently, rustling the leaves of the bushes and making her shiver a little.
Sirius, as if reading her thoughts, reached for his jacket, and approached her further, intending to drape it over her shoulders. Emma, however, flinched back.
Black froze still, his expression flickering with surprise, then quickly softening as if he realised something. " Are you afraid of me? " he asked slowly.
Emma's heart pounded against her ribs, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. " No, " she breathed, the word catching in her throat. " No, I am not ."
Sirius didn't move, his gaze holding hers, searching for any sign of deceit in her voice. He was so close now , she could feel the warmth of his body, and smell the faint scent of leather that clung to him. He leaned in, his face inches from hers, and for a fleeting moment, Emma thought he was going to kiss her, and she berated herself for this intrusive uncontrolled thought.
He gently draped his jacket over her shoulders, the warmth of the leather a stark contrast to the chill that had settled deep within her bones. " Good, " he murmured, his voice a low rumble. " Because I wouldn't want to frighten you ."
Her cheeks were burning and she couldn't say anything, except to give him a curt nod, instead of thanks. He also looked away for a moment , his gaze shifting towards the door.
" I 'll take Buckbeak back to the shed to feed him , it will take the edge off, " he said. " Perhaps you want to go back inside , it's getting colder, " he added.
She simply nodded, unable to process everything that had happened in one day.
She turned and fled, leaving him standing alone in front of the shed with the hippogriff.