Think this has been done before but wanted to give my spin on Edward's POV after the phone conversation with Rose up until Bella is changed

I do not own twilight or any of it's characters

The phone cut off, It was now in a 100 small pieces on the floor I could not fathom what I had heard...my sweet Bella..was gone, no this could not be happening, it felt like the whole world was crashing around me, the pain worse than when Carlisle changed me. I fell into a ball, pulled my knees to my chin and dry sobbed my unbeating heart clenched tight, oh how I wish I could cry real tears, this was all my fault, she would still be alive if I didn't leave. Time seemed to stop, nothing mattered anymore, living if that's what you want to call it was now pointless. For the first time in months I let images of Bella go through my mind, her perfect brown eyes, the way she would smile when I looked at her, her beautiful long brown hair, the last of her scent clung to my shirt, why did the world take her away, what did she do to deserve that, no this was my punishment for leaving her. I could not live in a world where Bella did not exist, I needed to find away to be with her againI got myself together and made my way to Italy, I needed to find a way to provoke the Volturi.

No..They won't do anything, without cause, fine, I will force their hand. The festival was the perfect time for me to expose myself, they would have no choice but to take action. I walked down the ally, towards the busy street, no long now Bella, we will be together again. I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, letting it drop to the floor, I closed my eyes again letting more images of Bella flow through my mind one more time, preparing for it all to end and to finally be back with her. I mentally apologised Carlisle and Esme, I knew how much they loved me as a son, especially Esme, I was like her own. I apologised to Alice, for being the reason she lost her best friend and all the others for loosing a brother, I knew this would hurt them all but this hurt more, I needed to be with Bella. After a few seconds something light collided with me, a familiar scent washed over me, it was her, I was finally back with my Bella, They were good, it was so quick and painless, but she didn't sound like the happy Bella I remembered she sounded panicked, stressed for some unknown reason " Edward open your eyes, I am alive, please" huh what was that? " Please Edward, I am alive, look at me" I opened my eyes, she was stood there, my beautiful Bella, she was really here, happiness rose from my dead heart, how was she here...why was she here.

I pulled her back into the dark Ally, I took an uneasy breath " Your...alive!" she looked at her feet "Yes.I needed you to see me once, to see I was alive, but you didn't need to feel guilty about anything..I..I can let you go now" What..she thought I acted out of guilt, what have I done " Bella...I never acted out of guilt" I took her hands in mine " But you said..." "I lied Bella, I had to lie and you believed me so easily" she looked lost confused...broken " Bella, I needed you to have a chance of a normal, happy life, one where I did not put you in danger, but now I know I was wrong..I am so sorry" tears fell from her eyes, I bent down and kissed them away " Please don't cry love" Jane appeared along with the other guards, ruining the moment, god why did I not just ask Alice if Rose was lying, once again Bella is in danger, I needed to protect her at all costs " Bella love why don't you go and enjoy the rest of the festival" " The girl comes with us' oh not happening Edward, just play along, you will put her in more danger if you don't I spun round to see Alice breaking though the door, I nodded and followed along, really just wanting to be alone with Bella to make things right with her.

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We were sat in the lobby waiting for dark before we left, Bella was curled up in my arms, coming down from what she saw, oh how I wish she didn't see that, she was a wreck, and now I can see her properly she looked so different, she was still my Bella but she had lost so much weight, her hair wasn't the same vibrant brown it was, the bags under her eyes, showing the lack of sleep she had been having. I traced her eyes " You should sleep Bella, you look so tired" Panic shot through them but she tired to hide it " Well you need to hunt" she placed her small warm hand on my cheek, oh how I have missed that feeling " I will be fine, please try and sleep, I promise I will wake you when we leave" She shook her head, fighting the need to sleep Edward, she won't sleep, she is way to stressed for that, listen to her heart I looked at Alice with a remorseful look Do not start brooding Edward, you cannot blame yourself for this, I should have rang to tell you, but you would have rushed into it thinking I was lying she was right, I would have rushed into it, but it does not stop me from being angry with myself for leaving Bella, it was my fault this happened, I just hope she can forgive me, I don't think, no I know I cannot live without her in my life anymore. She must of sensed my discomfort because her hand was back on my cheek and I could feel her eyes on me, I looked down to meet them, love and admiration pouring out of them. Giving her a weak smile I gently kissed her forehead, which still had the same effect on her as it did 6 months ago, maybe she did still love me..god I hope she did.

We were finally allowed to leave, Alice was not impressed with the car she had to steal so I promised to buy her a new car when we got back, as a thank you for going to Bella and for saving me. I pulled Bella into the back seat with me, she was still fighting sleep, not wanting to miss anything, this made me worry me, she shouldn't fight sleep anymore. " Edward...please don't let me sleep" sighing I nodded and gently kissed her cheek, we stayed locked in each others embrace all the way to the airport, both of us embracing the time together. Edward, I hope you know this means you cannot leave again, it will break he completely if you do I nodded, knowing I didn't have the strength to leave again, it was hard enough the first time. When we finally made it to the airport I had to practically carry Bella to the plane, she was weak too tired to sleep, I tried to get her to sleep on the plane but it was useless, the second she was on the plane she ordered a coke, which kept her up. Once we were up in the air she took back her position in my arms, I placed my chin on her head, breathing in her scent whilst Alice was firing another thought at me Edward, the whole family will be at the airport, including Rose, she is remorseful Edward please don't give her a hard time, Carlisle already has. I knew I was facing a massive telling off when I got back, especially from Esme. I don't know if I can hold my anger back from Rose, she is the reason we are here, if she spoke to Alice Bella would be safe in Forks, but I also in a way am happy it was Rose who called and I know have my Bella back, I just nodded.

when we Landed at the airport, I saw my family waiting for us, as we got closer all the thoughts hit me in one go, but it was Esme's that stood out the most Oh my boy, he's back, he's safe and with his sweet Bella, she saved him I was pulled into Esme's arms, she dry sobbed as she hugged me tightly yet awkwardly because Bella still held on to me " Please, never do that again son, please" " I am sorry mum, so sorry" I looked at Carlisle who also looked like he had been crying his thoughts more focused on Bella Oh sweet girl, Edward she has lost so much weight, she is almost as pale us son, you need to look after her now, no more leaving...ever. I missed you Son he pulled me into a hug as Esme pulled Bella into a hug, I heard the conversation but decided to stay out of it. Jasper smiled and apologised for the hundredth time to Bella since we got back. Emmett slapped me across the side of the head before pulling me into an unexpected hug " you are never allowed to leave again Edward, ever, and please don't be mad at Rose, she is sorry Edward" I just huffed and pulled Bella towards the car, I did not want to talk to Rose at the moment, I still was angry, regardless her being the reason Bella is back in my arms.

Once in the car Bella finally succumbed to sleep, she slept all the way till we arrived at hers, I carried her up her drive way to be met with an understandably extremely enraged Charlie, images of the sleepless nights he had because of nightmares Bella was having, next, her refusing to eat, go out do anything, my heart clenched seeing her in that mess...all because of me. " GIVE HER TO ME..YOU HAVE SOME NERVE SHOWING UP HERE" Bella tried to stop him from shouting but her feeble attempt was interjected by Charlie trying to pull her out of my arms " Please sir, let me take her in and I will leave" He pushed me away and pulled Bella out of my arms " Not a chance in hell, if you step over this line I will shoot you" "Dad...S...top please, let him take me in" Charlie looked at his broken child " NO Bella, I will not let him, he broke you!, Leave now!" Bella's heart rate skyrocketed and she looked at me panicked " Please sir, I promise to leave after" " Fine!, you have 1 minute and I will be in with my gun" I had no doubt he wouldn't and now would not be the time for the family secret to get out.

I picked Bella up and gently carried her upstairs, she clung to me with all the strength she had left " Please don't leave...please" she began to cry, her tears staining my shirt " shhh Bella, I promise I will be back, I have to be seen leaving, I'll open your window and will be back I promise" She continued to cry but nodded, I placed her down on her bead and pulled the blanket over her, opened her window and reluctantly left " You stay away from her do you here me!, you are not to take a step across this door unless you want me to shoot you!" Charlie looked me dead in the eye, now he humans did not normally scare me but Charlie managed to send a shiver down my spin. More images of Bella flashed though Charlie's mind, the day I left, a tall guy carried her out of the clearing, she looked so small, so..fragile..what have I done, guilt started eating at me again. I decided to hunt whilst waiting for Charlie to go to bed before going to see Bella, It wasn't the distraction I was hoping for but it killed the time.

I climbed through Bella's window to see her sleeping, she looked so peaceful, that changed fast when she started to have a nightmare, Charlie began to shift in his sleep, I gently woke her up before he did. " Bella.." her eyes shot open and she looked up at me through glassy eyes " Your here..." I smiled weakly and placed my hand on her cheek " you can sleep, I will be here when you wake" she instantly shook her head " Bella, the only reason I left was because I wanted you to have a normal, happy life" She looked at her sheets " It was so easy for you to leave" I hate myself so much for what I did to her, why does she not understand my feelings for her, how could one word break her trust in me so fast..." Bella, leaving you was the hardest thing I have done in over a hundred years" " but...it does not make sense for you to love me, I am human..nothing" She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest " Bella, how can I make you see that I do still love you, or am I too late, have you moved on like I intended you too?" she looked at me confused " No, it's just..when you leave it is going to hurt so much more, I don't think I will cope at all this time, like last time was bad, but loosing you a second time..will be too much" God how can I convince her...how can she believe the lie and not the truth " Bella, do you still have feelings for me..do you still love me" she once again looked at me confused " Did you not hear what I just said" " Please just answer the question Bella" "Yes Edward, I still love you, I will always love you and there is nothing anyone can do to change that" That is all I needed, I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers for the first time in 6 months I felt home, getting carried away with myself I kissed her harder than normal, the feel of her lips moving against mine sent electric sparks shooting through me.

I had to stop the kiss, she was forgetting to breath again " Breath Bella" she blushed and looked away " Sorry I forgot how much you dazzle me" oh how I have missed this, why did I have to leave, I pulled her towards me and cuddled her as tightly as I dared, I myself did not want to loose this moment...ever " Edward..when Alice changes me you that's it, us forever" "No I will not let her live this life, I have to protect her soul, but then I would get her forever which would be selfish of me.. She won't need to change you, there are always ways to keep the Volturi in the dark" she pulled out of my arms and grabbed her coat " No, we are settling this, I will be one of you Edward, I for starters am not being another year older than you, and secondly, I am not being the reason you take yourself back to Italy because I am dead, that is not fair on your family" Still so stubborn, " Fine, but we are not going now, if Charlie wakes up and finds you gone again Bella you will give him a heart attack" She nodded understanding and got back into bed, she finally fell back to sleep and I gently rested my head on her chest listening to her heart beat...I was finally back in my safe place.