I do not own Twilight or any of his characters

Bella's heart beat picked up " When..you left, I became an empty shell, to start with it was just nightmares, not being able to sleep or eat" My guilt rose when I heard from her that she had been having nightmares, I saw it when I read Charlie's mind, but only the aftermaths of them, not her living though it. I smiled weakly to let her know to carry on " It carried on like that for around 3 months, until Charlie tried sending me back to Jacksonville, which I did not want to do, I tired doing normal things like hanging out with Jessica" I hated knowing she lived like that for 3 months, it hurt to know how much she was hurting " One night we went to watch a film, and on the way home we ran into a bunch of bikers who wanted to give us a ride, I took it up and..." I got angry, she promised not to do anything reckless, yes she jumped off a cliff...but to put her life in the hands of some stranger.." I saw you, you told me to stop and turn around and to go home, I didn't and kept seeing you. I found that if I did something dangerous I would see you"I really broke her..I did this, my thoughts raced, worry built up faster than it ever had...she jumped to...see me? " Bella...are you trying to tell me you jumped off a cliff to...see a hallucination of me..? She looked at her hands and let her built up tears fall, I held her hands with one of mine and gently pulled her chin up so our eyes met " I am sorry Edward I know it sounds crazy, but it reminded me that you existed that you were part of my life, I wanted to be reminded of you, it was a level of comfort for me I am so sorry for causing this mess." What..she thinks this is her fault, she could not be anymore wrong, it was my fault and I needed to show her that I was sorry. " Bella, please don't, it is not your fault, it is mine for leaving and I am so so sorry and really hope you can forgive me, I can see how much I hurt you and promise never to hurt you again but please promise me you will never be that reckless again..I cannot loose you"

She gently placed her hand on my cheek " Edward, I forgive you, I told you, please don't blame yourself I know you did it to protect me, It is not your fault I cracked up Edward. You did not know how I was going to react, please don't be angry with yourself and I will try and not be reckless" I pulled her towards me and kissed her gently

"Edward, can I ask you something" she looked up at me nervously " Anything" "How much did you see when you read Charlie's mind the night we came back...did he make it hard for you" I frowned and nodded " I saw everything Bella, saw the last 6 months through his eyes, your nightmares...you loosing weight.. not spending time with anyone including him, which wasn't fun, he's your dad so I saw through worried eyes, he still worries now, which is why you are grounded" She sighed " Guess I owe him more than a sorry don't I" She doesn't understand, he only worries because he loves her more than life, she is his biggest accomplishment.

Charlie knows she is sorry, he is just worried she is not ever going to get better because of how damaged I left her " Bella you owe nothing to him, he is happy to see you smile again, he is just worried I left you damaged and that it may last long into life. He has seen it, in himself when he and Renee broke up, he just wants you happy" She frowned" I still need to make it up to him Edward, I put him through hell and he deserves to know I am sorry and that I really do appreciate that he took care of me through my darkest times" she looked up at me with a puzzled look, like she had a question brewing but didn't want to ask " Do you have another question love?"

"Ummm.. yeah...I know you said that you spent time tracking Victoria, but why did you not see your family?" It was my turn to drop my head, as I knew that I did not only hurt Bella in the time we were apart but also hurt my family and like me, Bella deserves to know.

"I did it to protect them too, from me, Bella I was broken too, I spent everyday fighting not to come back, the pain from being away from you was overwhelming, I didn't want my family to see me like that, especially Esme" her eyes filled with tears again " I spent the first week in the same place, I did not move, lost track of time, I could see what I was doing to Esme so decided it was best if I left, it meant I could be left alone and not put my emotional outbursts on anyone else. All I wanted was to be with you and I almost gave in so many times Bella, before Rose called it was no more than a week before I showed back up in your room begging you to take me back"

I still knew I needed to spend time with Esme, I can see and hear she is still worried about me. I hurt so many people and want to make it up to all of them but right know all I wanted to do was take Bella in my arms and hold her forever " Despite all the pain Edward, I am so happy you are here that I have you back in my life" She sat in my lap and rested her head on my shoulder, I pulled her as close as possible without hurting her, holding on to this moment " I love you so much Edward" her new tears stained my shirt as all the emotions caught up" I love you too Bella, more than you know" She pushed me to the soft grass and lead beside me, gazing into my eyes, many unspoken words passing the time as we lead there, I would never get enough of looking into her eyes. " As much as I want to stay here, it is time for us to get you home or there will be a manhunt" She nodded and pressed her lips to mine, the electricity raced through me as I pulled her deeper into the kiss, ever so slightly letting the boundaries drop, only putting them back up as she became breathless " Breath Bella" blushing she hides her face into my chest, god she will be the death of me " No hiding that beautiful blush" Gently pulling her chin up, I kiss each cheek before pulling her to her feet " Time to go Bella, we really do not want an angry Charlie"

We arrived back at Bella's as Charlie pulled up in his cruiser, his thoughts running ramped when he saw me, I decided that it was best for me to drop Bella and leave straight away, me even being back in the same town as Bella angered Charlie, let alone me being in his front garden next to her. I gently hugged her but let go as Charlie's thoughts screamed at me if he doesn't let go in two seconds the gun is coming out.

I smiled weakly at Bella " I will see you at school tomorrow love" Her panic set in, I did not need to read her mind to know she was worried I wasn't going to come over later, I quickly kissed her cheek and whispered too low for Charlie to hear " Leave the window open" her heart slowed down and she pulled me in to a kiss " Love, Charlie is mad enough" She sighed and pushed passed him to get inside, his angry exterior now showing a hint of hurt. When will she understand I am doing this to protect her in away I do feel bad for Charlie but also he is doing this to himself because of the way he is treating Bella.

After what felt like forever 9pm rolled round and I was climbing through Bella's window, her bedroom was empty but I could hear the sound of the shower and the familiar smell of her shampoo, I sat in the rocking chair waiting for her to return, looking around I could see her room slowly returning to how it was before I left, the life coming back, like the shine in her chocolate eyes. I couldn't believe she was really back in my life. I was so lost in thought I did not hear the shower stop and her return to the bedroom. " Edward.." I looked up to her in just a towel " Oh hi love, sorry, would you like me to leave until you are changed?" She shook her head " No, but if you feel more comfortable you can turn around" she sounded a little hurt but it would be rude of me to watch her change. She stepped towards me, pressing a kiss to my lips before stepping towards her wardrobe. Oh god how I wish I could drop all the boundaries, this girl would be the death of me. I turned around giving her time to change, which was not long, her arms wrapped around my waist from behind " I missed you" dropping the boundaries a little can't harm right? I spun round and gently picked her up and carried her to the bed, letting the back of my knees hit the bed I laid back with her on top, her blush rising fast " I missed you too love, Charlie give you a hard time?" she nodded " told me I am being disrespectful to his rules and if I want to be ungrounded I should follow them better" she sighed sadly laying her head on my chest " Love he is only doing it to protect you, I know it may seem hard at the moment but I promise it will all go back to normal soon" her mood changed quickly, she got up and looked at me angry " so you are on his side?" okay now I was angry how could she think I would take his side, she will always come first " What?, no, Bella I am just saying he saw what you were like when I left, he is hurting too because like I said earlier he is worried about you. I am not taking sides and if I did I would always take yours love, I just want you to remember that I also hurt him as well as you!"

" Sorry" she climbed back on to my lap and kissed me, I kissed back, pulling her close, letting her soft lips pull against mine, this had an effect on her as she ground her hips into mine " Bella..no" this was not wise, she knew how she makes me feel and this was stepping way over the safety boundary " sorry I got carried away, I won't do it again please just at least kiss me for longer" that I could do, I pressed my lips back to hers, kissing her with as much passion as I dared, oh god did it have an effect on me, she will never know how much I lust for her. I only stopped when she curled up against my side and drifted into a deep slumber.

This did not last long as one of her nightmares surfaced at around 1:30am, I gently woke her up " Love please wake up" her eyes shot open " Edward?" " I am here love it's okay" Her tears stained my shirt " Is Charlie okay" " Yes love he is sleeping why?" her red rimmed eyes met mine and it clicked, her nightmare had been about him " What happened love?" " The...volturi thought he knew about you and killed him.." she burst into tears " Bella I promise that will never happen, my family and..the wolves will protect him" she nodded " I can't loose him Edward..not yet" I know how much she loves her dad and in a way this nightmare may help her rid a bit of her anger towards him " you won't I promise" she kissed me and tucked herself back into my side, she shivered so I pulled the blanket over her and created a thin barrier between us so she didn't catch a chill, her slow stream of tears pooling on to the bed " love please, you don't need to cry" " I can't sleep, I don't want to have that nightmare again Edward" " It will be okay" brushing her hair behind her ear I placed a kiss on her cheek, her heartbeat calming slightly, I kissed her Jawline, head and then her neck which acted as enough of a distraction " Please just kiss me your driving me crazy" I smirked and finally placed a kiss on her lips " Please try and sleep love" she nodded and finally fell back asleep.

Come morning Charlie was up and about his usual routine, expect this time he did check in on Bella, I hated letting her hold on me go but there would be a whole new situation if he caught me in his house let alone in his daughters bedroom. His concern for her raced through his mind, he had become so in tune with Bella even he could tell she had nightmares and would talk to her when he got home, he didn't want to wake her.