Another weekend had arrived, and while that was usually the one time of the week people could sleep a little later and catch up on much-needed rest, Ruby would arise early on Saturday mornings to watch a certain animated series she had recently gotten into. As a fifteen-year-old high school sophomore, she was considered well past the age of watching cartoons on TV, and she wouldn't necessarily argue with that, but this particular series seemed to speak to her. The main protagonist was an adorably plucky and terminally optimistic Thai-American girl who was seemingly out of touch with her cultural heritage, and whose best friend was a tall and shy, yet imaginative Jewish girl with long flowing hair and dressed in a sweater (and who also interestingly sounded like Lisa Loud).
This show is totally, like, my life! Ruby thought to herself. Except with ghosts!
So much like her life that she felt compelled to ship the Thai girl and her Jewish bestie just to make it all the more personally relatable for her… that is until one of the new characters introduced for the show's second season was a boy who was established as the Thai girl's new canon love interest. It made Ruby feel compelled to try her hand at writing fanfiction in which whatever romance arises between the Thai girl and the new boy is doomed to fail, thus driving her into the arms of her Jewish bestie, which would blossom into a newfound romance that would take the two of them by surprise.
When morning gave way into the afternoon, Ruby decided to put Operation: Tell My Cow-Worshipping Parents I'm Hanging Out With Shannon Today Without Letting Them Know I'm Actually Sneaking Into Dairyland To See Her In Her New Gig And Also Think Of A Shorter Name For This Operation into action. Just as she prepared to step out of the house, she noted her parents, Mohammad and Diya, were redecorating their living room with new wallpaper. She knew she had an obligation to inform her parents of where she was going and what she would be doing, which is why she had a simple announcement to make…
"Hey, guys, just gonna hang with bestie Shannon today," she informed them. "That cool?"
"Of course, Ruby," Mohammad responded to his daughter as he pasted another panel of the new wallpaper onto the wall.
"Just be sure to be home by dinner," added Diya as she unrolled another panel.
"Roger that," said Ruby before she flew out the front door.
It was a good thing that Ruby had cash flow on her, because otherwise, charges for Dairyland tickets appearing on the next bank statement would give her away, but with cash, there would be no evidence for her parents to have to find out about. Ruby's eyes widened like saucers when the famous Amoosement Park came into her vision. To step into what was for all intents and purposes a restricted area felt almost like entering a forbidden garden behind enemy lines… and the thrill of taking such a risk only added to the young Indian teen's excitement as she bought her very first entrance ticket. The surroundings of the different rides, attractions, booths, and other areas the park had to offer were a might overwhelming for a first-time visitor, and anyone who wasn't familiar with the park's layout could easily get lost if they didn't know their way around, so it was a wise thing that Ruby snagged herself a park map to help guide her to where she wanted to be, which she assumed to be the Uddertorium, located in the upper east corner of the park. The trek to the converted barn that served as an on-site theater wasn't the easiest trip for Ruby, as trying to maneuver her way through the hustle and bustle of park visitors made even the usually-crowded corridors of Royal Woods High seem barren in comparison.
After several minutes of walking, she finally made it to the Uddertorium, where she purchased another ticket to admit her into the next showing of A Cream Come True. There was already quite a line of spectators who waited to see the show, and Ruby observed a staff of ushers as they brought out batches of metal folding chairs to set up for them; she only hoped she could grab herself a decent seat so she could really see and enjoy the show. Eventually, those in line were admitted into the seating area, and Ruby scurried her way through the crowd to plant herself in a chair in the front row, where upon she was handed a program detailing what the show would entail: the story chronicled a journey embarked by Tippy the Cow and Heidi Heifer that lead them to Dairyland, which was believed to have only existed in dreams – all with the aid of a Dairy Godmother who helps them on their adventure.
Finally, the show began.
Tippy was a country cow who lived a rather dull and boring life on the farm where every day was the same: get out in the pasture, eat some grass, return to the barn for milking; lather, rinse, repeat. He longed for something more in life, and dreamed of finding a magical place where cattle could be free to do as they please, and enjoy dairy products that are so heavenly delicious… a magical place known as Dairyland.
Heidi was a city heifer who grew desensitized of touring fairs and being paraded around in livestock competition shows. She longed for a simpler life, and dreamed of finding a magical place where cattle could be free to do as they please, and enjoy dairy products that are so heavenly delicious… a magical place known as Dairyland.
With their minds made up, both bovines broke ranks and went off on their respective journeys to find their way to Dairyland, but it would not be so easy, especially since Dairyland had been dismissed by other cattle as being a fairy tale. Sure enough, as they made their way through the wilderness, they seemed to have no clue of where they were actually going, which was especially troubling to Heidi as she tried to navigate her way through a forest of cardboard trees…
"I don't know how this o-curd, but I've lost my whey… I'd butter find it, or I'll be in gelato trouble… mooo…"
For a brief moment, Heidi suddenly did an exaggerated and unscripted double-take that garnered laughter from the audience for such a silly action. The inside of Heidi's mouth was lined with black mesh that made it almost impossible for people to see into the costume, but made it somewhat possible for a performer to see out of, and the character's double-take was the result of Shannon momentarily breaking character by the unexpected surprise of spotting her girlfriend in the audience – front row and center, with a huge smile across her face. Of course, after the initial shock wore off, Shannon pulled herself together and got back into character so the show could proceed.
Eventually, Tippy and Heidi found each other in the wilderness, and with their shared goal of trying to find Dairyland, agreed to help each other… unfortunately, with both of them being lost and not knowing where to go, it was a case of the blind leading the blind. Faced with such a plight, they were soon aided with the help of a Dairy Godmother. Ruby nearly laughed at the sight of her overly dramatic drama teacher being lowered on a wire, while wearing a powder blue dress, accessorized with a large matching bow in her hair and a pair of fairy wings, but what really took her student by surprise was her calm, soothing, and subdued performance – it was a stark contrast to Mrs. Bernardo's usual performing style, not to mention her everyday persona… perhaps Kate Bernardo was a better actress than people gave her credit for?
The Dairy Godmother gave the pair the clues they needed to point them into the right direction of their destination, and it ended up being quite a cheesy journey as Tippy and Heidi eventually discovered a golden road of sticks of butter that took them to a string-cheese bridge over a curdling milk river and finally lead them to a cottage cheese cottage, the entrance to which resembled the dairy section in a supermarket, but was the magical entryway to Dairyland. At last, Tippy and Heidi had made it to a place that only ever existed in their dreams.
"Whoa… Feta Falls? Milkshake Mountain? Parmesan Peak?" Tippy marveled at the various locales just waiting to be explored in Dairyland. "Gosh, this magical dairy adventure has been the trip of a lifetime!"
"You said it, Tippy!" Heidi exclaimed before she turned and looked up into the heavens somewhat longingly. "Oh, Dairy Godmother… it makes my stomach churn just thinking about this dream having to end…"
Just then, the Dairy Godmother was lowered into the scene via wire again.
"It doesn't have to, my little cheese curds…" with the wave of her magic wand, the façade of a dairy section had also been lowered into the scene. "You can always find the doorway to this enchanted place in your grocers' dairy section…"
With that, the trio broke into song as they performed the show's final number:
Ghee and yogurt and Feta cheese, too
All of this dairy's a cream come true!
Of course the audience applauded as they ordinarily would at the conclusion of the show, but Ruby's reaction was akin to somebody at a rock concert or a football game; she cheered, screamed, whooped, and even chanted, 'HEIDI! HEIDI!' Shannon blushed so much inside the costume, even Heidi's cheeks turned red.
As far as Ruby was concerned, Shannon's description was accurate: the show was rather cheesy –in more ways than one- but was still enjoyable… even if some of the dairy puns flew over her head, that was of no matter to her, because she felt the best part of the show was Shannon making such a silly cow character seem so real and believable (that, and seeing Mrs. Bernardo not behave so overly dramatic as she usually does).
After the show was finished, Tippy continued on his appointed rounds throughout the park to mingle with other visitors, and Mrs. Bernardo took flight for another performance of her latest one-woman show, And Curtain. Once Shannon took her leave from the Uddertorium, she found herself nearly ambushed by an excitable Indian teen.
"O-M-G! The real Heidi Heifer! Can I, like, get a selfie?" She quickly threw an arm around the darling of Dairyland, pulled her in close and snapped a photo with her cell phone.
"Wow, Ruby, I can't believe you're here!" Shannon said after the two pulled away from each other.
"What's not to believe?" Ruby asked. "I'm totally, like, your number one fan! I had to see you in your newest gig!"
"And your parents were cool with you coming to Dairyland?" Shannon asked.
"They don't even know I'm here," explained Ruby to Shannon's shock.
"You lied to your parents?" Shannon gasped.
"I told them I'm hanging with you," noted Ruby. "That's no lie."
"But, did you tell them it was at Dairyland?" Shannon asked.
"Nope," said Ruby.
"That's lying by omission," noted Shannon.
"All of the sudden you're, like, a lawyer?" Ruby teased. "Besides, do you ever tell your parents the what's and where's of our hang seshes?"
"Touché," sighed Shannon. "Still, this seems like such risky business, Rubes…"
"Relax, Shans, I've planned it all out," assured Ruby. "A. I told my parents I'm hanging with you, so that's, like, a solid alibi that can be corroborated; 2. I paid for my tickets with cash, so there'll be, like, zero evidence; and D. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I couldn't, like, support your acting career?"
"You make a good case," relented Shannon. "But there's still the matter of cows being sacred in your culture… wouldn't you being here be… kinda… you know… sacrilegious?"
"I'm, like, really not that religious, anyway," shrugged Ruby.
"I guess…" muttered Shannon as she shuffled from one foot to another. She wasn't the most pious or saintly person in her own faith either, but she also was averse to anything she perceived or believed to be immoral – as much as she desperately did not want her family to learn the truth about her relationship with Ruby, a tiny part of her also felt ashamed of her dishonesty. Nevertheless, even if Ruby herself may have been something of a non-practicing Hindu, Shannon was still concerned about what her presence in this so-called barnyard of blasphemy could possibly entail. "But, I know your parents are… what if they found out about this?"
Ruby's face dropped a little as she posed another question to her girlfriend: "Don't you get tired of being so rigid all the time?"
The look on Shannon's face was somewhat incredulous over that remark as she retorted, "I didn't know wanting to avoid getting into trouble made me rigid…"
"Look, Shans, there's no reason for you not to be here, so, like, only I'd get into trouble, and you'd be off the hook," explained Ruby. "And I totally doubt I'll, like, ever get caught here; my parents won't come near this place, we'd be far less likely to bump into them here than we would bumping into your parents at Casa Cavino on Valentine's Day."
Shannon smirked at the reminder of last Valentine's Day when she had made reservations for her and Ruby to celebrate their first anniversary as a couple at a fancy new Italian restaurant downtown, only for her parents to have coincidently have reservations at the exact same restaurant on the exact same night, when their personal tradition was usually to dine at Giovanni-Chang's Italian/Chinese Bistro, where they had their first date. As bizarre and contrived as that coincidence was, Ruby did have a point in that her parents would have absolutely no rhyme or reason to be in Dairyland – even by happenstance.
"I gotta admit, this place actually looks totally fun," said Ruby as she continued to survey her surroundings and take a look at all of the rides and attractions the Amoosement Park had to offer.
"It really is; it's especially fun with a friend," said Shannon while Ruby turned and smiled at her again… a smile that the bespectacled brunette found so hard to resist. "You know… I did have a dream once about us checking out the rides in the new Sweetheart Land attraction…"
Ruby's eyebrows rose in intrigue to hear this little confession from her girlfriend.
"I… had that dream before you told me about not being allowed in Dairyland…" said Shannon as she nervously stroked the back of her head.
"Why don't we make this another cream come true?" Ruby asked as she wrapped her own arms around Shannon's arm and gave her such a longing look.
"Well…" mumbled Shannon before she reached into her skirt pocket to produce some passes she had on hand. "One of the incentives of being a park employee, albeit temporarily, is getting some season passes…"
"I wouldn't mind checking out any Sweetheart Land attractions with my attractive sweetheart," cooed Ruby which caused her shy girlfriend to blush like mad.
"Okay! Let's do it!" Shannon insisted like the flip of a switch.
"Awesome sauce!" Ruby cheered. "Or, is that more like awesome cream? Whatev. Show me a creamy good time!"
With that, Shannon took Ruby by the hand and ran off with her toward the other side of the park where Sweetheart Land was located – it was the one area in the Amoosement Park Shannon had yet to experience, mainly because these rides were conceived specifically for couples to enjoy, but with Ruby's banishment from Dairyland, Shannon had no other reason to check any of them out. After a look at the park map, one attraction in particular quickly caught Ruby's attention…
"Fly Me to the Moo… a roller coaster ride for you and your significant other? Sounds totally exhilarating!" She exclaimed.
Maybe it was, and maybe it wasn't, Shannon was unsure… mainly because she had never ridden on a roller coaster before. She decided to offer a different suggestion…
"Err, why don't we stop by the Cocoa Corner first? Looks like its right over there…" she pointed out a cozy-looking shack resembling a log cabin immediately to their right, where couples were invited to share toasty, chocolatey beverages with each other.
"You lead, I'll follow," shrugged Ruby, much to Shannon's relief.
As far as amusement park attractions go, the Cocoa Corner was hardly an exciting or exhilarating experience for a thrill-seeker like Ruby, but with such an attraction conceived specifically to share with your significant other, she still found enjoyment in doing something with her beloved Shannon. The atmosphere was what one would expect from a log cabin in a winter wonderland, with a roaring fireplace offering a toasty feeling that was equally as warm as the lighting the inside of the establishment was bathed in. Couples sat at tables for two throughout and shared large mugs of steaming hot chocolate, it almost reminded Ruby of the Burnt Bean, but considerably more romantic. The first sip of her cocoa was quite a wake-up call for the Indian teen's taste buds. She, like many young women, very much enjoyed chocolate, but there was something about this cocoa that was richer, and far more decadent than anything she had tasted before.
"Baap re baap!" She exclaimed in Hindi. "This is, like, totally the best cocoa I've ever tasted! Like, talk about yummers!" She nearly scorched her tongue and throat by drinking the contents of her mug so quickly (luckily, refills were free).
"Dairyland uses their own cream in their cocoa recipe instead of water," explained Shannon as she, too, enjoyed sipping on her warm beverage; that was probably true, as Dairyland was also a fully-operating dairy business in addition to an amusement park.
Ruby was quick to request another mug of cocoa, but even in spite of its delicious taste, there seemed to be something missing… something that Shannon was quick to figure out, as she had the foresight to ask for a traditional additive to hot chocolate, and from the bowl that rested in the center of the table, she retrieved a white jet-puffed confection.
"Marshmallow?" She offered.
"Sure!" Ruby accepted.
Shannon dipped the marshmallow into her cocoa before she hand-fed it to her girlfriend much like a minion feeding grapes to the royalty they served; it felt fitting to the Jewish teen, who saw her girlfriend as her Indian queen, and would not hesitate to be her loyal lady-in-waiting if that were the case. They kept at it for a short while until Ruby eventually began to playfully nibble on the tips of Shannon's fingers and thumb upon feeding her another marshmallow, which caused her to swiftly retract her hand.
"You're not supposed to bite the hand that feeds you, Rubes," scolded Shannon playfully.
"I, like, can't help playing with my food," responded Ruby in kind as she and Shannon shared a giggle.
"Speaking of food, wait till you try one of Dairyland's candied apples," said Shannon.
The next thing that Ruby knew, she and Shannon had gotten heart-shaped apples on sticks that had been dipped into caramel coating – a nice little treat with the contrasting taste of sweetness and saltiness.
"Y'know, Shans, you're, like, the apple of my eye," flirted Ruby as she and Shannon moseyed away from the candied apple cart.
"And you… are… the, um… the jewel of my… ruby mine…?" Shannon said only to blush to the color of her girlfriend's namesake at how ridiculous her failed attempt to flirt back sounded.
Ruby's giggling did not exactly help Shannon's embarrassment, either, but it seemed that she still got what she aimed for, as she followed with, "This apple's, like, totally tart compared to a sweetheart like you."
Shannon possessed a quick wit, even to the point of proving to be a worthy sparring partner with Luan in battles of wits, but she was still a might green in the romance department, and to ad-lib witty flirtations off the cuff proved to be a challenge… but one that she would not even have any further time to dwell on as an electric beeping interrupted them.
"Hey, lovebirds, make a hole! Momma's gotta need for speed, and you're blockin' my path!" Scoots called out as she zoomed past the two teens on her motorized scooter, with park security chasing after her tail.
"Dang it, Scoots! We've told you a hundred times, Limburger Lane is a five-mile-an-hour zone!" One of the guards called out to the elderly speed demon.
Scoots' need for speed prompted Ruby's mind to recall another attraction that was a part of the Amoosement Park's Sweetheart Land map…
"Oh! Maybe now we can, like, check out Fly Me to the Moo!" She exclaimed as she grabbed her girlfriend by the wrist and made their way toward the roller coaster's location.
"Ugh… do you… think that's such a good idea on a full stomach?" Shannon hesitated.
"We've only had, like, a cup of cocoa, and, like a candied apple," countered Ruby.
Shannon was still fearful about what this could entail. She recalled a sour patch earlier in their romance that lead to a falling out between the two, however brief it was: Ruby was so anxious to advance their relationship, and felt that Shannon dragged her feet. Not to mention Ruby was a thrill-seeker, while Shannon erred on the side of caution; she feared her cowardice would leave an unfavorable impression on her bold, fearless girlfriend. Soon enough, the roller coaster came into view, and Ruby could see why it was called Fly Me to the Moon; each of the cars looked like hefty cows with angel wings, and the tracks were constructed around a large moon. The nearer they drew to the roller coaster, the more trepidatious Shannon grew – especially when it appeared there was no line to wait in. Luckily for her, the reason for that was spelled out when they approached a tall metal fence where they found a sign affixed to the gated entrance.
"'Closed for maintenance'? Bummer!" Ruby groaned. "I, like, wanted to fly to the moon with my sweetheart…"
Shannon silently sighed in relief to spare her girlfriend her cowardice, but she knew there was still more to Sweetheart Land for them to check out.
"Don't sweat it, Rubes… how about we take a ride through the Tunnel of Butter?" She offered.
The Tunnel of Butter was straightforward: couples rode down a river of melted butter inside rafts that resembled large sticks of butter. It was almost identical to Dairyland's Seas O' Cheese ride, but obviously meant to be more romantic, like a tunnel of love. Also like Seas O' Cheese, an annoying song loop echoed throughout the Tunnel of Butter – this one, however, was a parody of a classic love song by the Association that would make even Weird Al Yankovic's stomach churn and curdle…
You ask me if there's a way to clarify my love for you
Butter, my love
Butter, my love
You wonder if there's a way I baste my heart for you
Butter, my love
Butter, my love
What makes you think our love would curdle or spoil
when you know my heart sizzles and melts
for you
(Fooorrrr yooooooouuuu)
As the two young lovers sat closely snuggled together in their butter raft, the ambience of the ride caused Shannon's mind to recall an episode of a series she had recently looked into. The series chronicled the journey of an outcast human girl who found herself transported to a demon realm, where she was introduced to many different decidedly abominable beings, one of whom was a young witch in training. The young witch seemed aloof and cold at first, but quickly defrosted to the point that she and the human girl grew to be friends… friends who eventually discovered they had fallen for each other, which was not unlike Shannon and Ruby. The episode Shannon recalled involved the human girl taking the witch through a tunnel of love in an elaborate attempt to propose their friendship become a romantic relationship, although the results did not go as planned. Their relationship had already progressed to such a state, although Shannon had been entertaining the idea in her mind of marrying Ruby, and everything about this moment as well as recalling that episode had her wondering how she could possibly pull off some sort of a big, extravagant proposal in the future.
Alas, whatever romantic vibes this ride was meant to invoke were soon eclipsed by a major annoyance that Ruby voiced…
"Okay, it, like, totally smells like popcorn in here, and it is, like, driving me crazy!" She ranted.
Shannon had to agree; the strong and pungent aroma of melted butter within this tunnel shifted her hunger into that for popcorn rather than further romance with her girlfriend. Luckily, she knew how to remedy such, and as soon as the ride was over, she and Ruby searched the park high and low until they spotted the popcorn cart that was mined by a mutual friend of theirs, who was quite surprised to be approached by the pair.
"Hey, Benny! Can we get one for two?" Shannon requested.
"Coming right up!" Benny obliged as he began to scoop popcorn into a large bucket.
Ruby's face twisted as she tried her hardest to repress the snickers that escaped her nostrils, although Benny figured out exactly what the cause of such was.
"Okay, I get it; it's my uniform…" he sighed as he squirted melted butter onto their popcorn.
"Sorry, Ben-Ben," giggled Ruby. "You just look like a dandy…"
"I mean, it's standard issue; all park employees wear it," explained Benny as he handed the girls their bucket of popcorn. It was true, though. The Dairyland uniform was meant to call back to a bygone era before it became common to buy containers of milk in markets, when every single morning, men in bright white uniforms would deliver glass bottles of milk to homes all across America. Still, Benny was painfully aware such a uniform did him little favors as he remarked, "I think this uniform has done more damage to my street cred than anything…"
"What street, Sesame Street?" Ruby asked with a laugh.
"Low blow, there," said Shannon with a nudge to Ruby's side while she paid for their popcorn.
Despite the ribbing, Benny learned to develop a thick skin, and took it all in stride.
"My guess is you came to Dairyland to see our new Heidi Heifer?" Benny asked Ruby.
"Your guess is spot on, my dude! She was def, like, my fave part of the show," said Ruby who helped herself to popcorn with one hand, while she playfully fiddled with a curl of her girlfriend's locks with the other; Shannon smiled and blushed at her girlfriend's praise. "But we've been having a total blast, too, and there's still so much more I wanna see!"
"You know, this popcorn's making me thirsty… why don't we pop over to the Shake Lab?" Shannon offered.
The next stop for the girls' afternoon was a little laboratory in which visitors could invent their own milkshake flavors. To give visitors the full effect of a laboratory experience, safety goggles and cow-print lab coats were provided to wear. Familiar with the routine, Shannon quickly got suited up into her garb, but as she turned around and saw Ruby dressed the same and looking like a sexy lab technician, a rather arousing thought entered her mind…
Wow… our babies will be smart AND beautiful…
Until another, more practical thought entered her mind shortly thereafter…
Not to mention imaginary…
Shannon didn't have to be a whiz in Biology to know that two females cannot produce offspring.
The procedure for the Shake Lab was as follows: there were two different self-serve stations, the first of which had dozens ice cream flavors you could mix and match, the second of which had an even greater variety of different additives and ingredients you could mix into your milkshake to create all sorts of concoctions. Many of the ice creams were traditional flavors such as vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, butter pecan, rocky road, but there were several others that were the flavor of different kinds of cheeses. The additives ranged from nuts, berries, chips (chocolate, caramel, etc.) to spices, seasonings, and condiments. The possibilities were endless, and Ruby decided to not waste any time; she set out to mix together as many different possibilities as she could.
The last time Shannon created her own, it was quite a chocolate shock: chocolate ice cream, mixed with chocolate chunks, and swirled hot fudge sauce… the Jewish teen was quite the chocoholic. This time, however, Shannon decided to mix things up a bit (no pun intended), and set out to create something that was more of a bombastic blast of berries. Into a large, Styrofoam cup, she dispensed a sample of strawberry and blueberry ice creams with just a splash of the Brie-flavored ice cream, then scooped in some chunks of strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry pieces. A squirt of boysenberry syrup and one good mixing later, topped with whipped cream and a cherry, Shannon had concocted what she had dubbed her Brie-Berry Boogaloo. She sampled a sip and thought it turned out quite satisfactorily, but she found it difficult to measure up to her previous chocolate thunder concoction.
"Shaaans…?"
As Shannon turned to face Ruby, she found her girlfriend trembled from head to toe – and made audible jittering sounds at that, which the bespectacled brunette found rather concerning.
"You okay, Rubes?" She asked.
"I have, like, got such a buzz going on!" Ruby exclaimed; sampling so many different milkshake flavors in short succession provided her with such a taste explosion that she never experienced before… not to mention the amount of sugar these flavors and other ingredients contained, it all definitely gave the Indian teen quite the rush. "Baap re baap… this stuff's even better than Flippees!"
"Ehhh, don't cast aspersions there, Chief-ette," said the short, round, mustachioed man in the grimy red shirt who, along with his raccoon sidekick, were also in the Shake Lab to try to figure out the secret ingredients from the various flavors the lab had to offer. "Ol' Flip's gunna be rollin' out a new line of Flipshakes that'll knock yer socks off!"
Nacho flashed the girls a pair of thumbs up before he finished pilfering samples of each milkshake flavor into vials that he and Flip then stored into a small freezer bag that Flip plastered Dairyland logos onto to make it appear as inconspicuous as possible, as the two went about their way.
"Girl, I just invented a Saffron-Stilton Swirl!" Ruby exclaimed to Shannon as she sampled another new concoction she just mixed in her cup that consisted of nutty and salty-flavored ice cream accented with a rather sweeter, yet earthy spice that was very common in her household. "I think this one's better than that Mozzarella-Mango Mocha Meltdown I invented!"
Concerned about the present state that her girlfriend was in, Shannon removed her lab coat and goggles, took Ruby by the arm, and lead her away.
"I think that's enough milkshakes for you today," she said as she also helped Ruby out of her lab coat and goggles.
"Wait!" Ruby shrieked. "I, like, have an idea for, like, a Wensleydale-Worcestershire Whammo! And, like, a Gouda-Gazpacho Gangbuster!"
"Maybe next time, Rubes," said Shannon as she lead her hyped-up girlfriend out of the Shake Lab. "Why don't we try something low-impact to help de-buzz you?"
Shannon figured another one of the more relaxing attractions was what Ruby needed to help calm her down, so the two girls got in line to ride Dairyland's Ferris wheel. Of course, the one drawback to a Ferris wheel ride is before you even get to enjoy the ride, there is a constant moving and stopping as other cars on the wheel are filled with passengers. It was tedious, but if there was one perk to the procedure was when you got to spend just a brief moment at the top while the bottommost car was being loaded, and sure enough, that may have been the highlight of this particular Ferris wheel ride for Ruby and Shannon, especially since there was a brief and unplanned little squabble in getting a pair of rambunctious twins into the car peacefully, as they fought amongst themselves as to which of them would sit on which side of the car – a squabble that took not only the twins' parents, but the Ferris wheel operator to neutralize. Neither of the two girls in the topmost car minded at all, because it gave them a moment to be on top of the world – a sensation that Shannon had always enjoyed, it was one of the reasons why she liked to spend some of her free time up on the roof of her apartment unit, especially on clear, starry nights. Ruby marveled to not only have a bird's eye view of the entire Amoosement Park, but also some of the surrounding town as well – it was almost as nice as the two first dates she had with Shannon on top of Royal Woods Hill. Almost. As the Indian teen's eyes scanned her surroundings, they quickly fell upon her girlfriend at her side, bathed in the light of the distant sunset. There was something about being out in the natural light, surrounded by nature's splendor, that made Shannon all the more beautiful to Ruby, and she greatly admired the sight beside her.
She tried such a flirt on Shannon before, and unfortunately, it went right over her girlfriend's head, but she gave it another earnest attempt as she remarked, "Is the view up here always this stunning?"
Shannon didn't answer; only nodded. Ruby was unsure if, once again, her flirt went over her girlfriend's head, but everything about that moment stirred up something within her – it was even more romantic at the top of the Ferris wheel than it was in the Tunnel of Butter, and she acted upon her impulse by leaning over and planting a kiss on her girlfriend's freckled cheek. Shannon cast a glance over at Ruby who wore a devilish little smile on her face, which succeeded in widening the smile on Shannon's face as well; it seemed that she, too, felt something stir up inside her to share in this moment of being on top of the dairy world with her girlfriend by her side.
A couple of moments later, the Ferris wheel went through that same procedure again, only this time, it was to let the passengers out of their cars, as the ride had come to an end. The operator was in for a bit of a surprise when the wheel spun the next car to be emptied of its passengers, and found an Indian teenager and a Jewish teenager making out with each other… clearly, they got caught up in the heat of the moment (and whatever other heat they may have been in), but he was not having any of it.
"Hey!" He barked to gain their attention. "This is a Ferris wheel car, not the back seat of your parents' station wagon!"
"Well, excuse us for, like, livin'!" Ruby fired back as she took hold of her girlfriend's hand and lead her away. "Come on, Shans, let's blow…"
As the two made their way back into the crowd, Shannon's face turned bright red over that previous little episode, as she confessed, "I had no idea we had gotten so… so…"
"Passionate?" Ruby asked with a coy smile on her face.
"I was going to say separated from reality," said Shannon while she continued to blush. "You've become like my Kryptonite, Rubes…"
"Yeah, like, no clue what that means, but I think it's safe to say you've become, like, my biggest weakness…" said Ruby as she squeezed Shannon's hand.
One might imagine that after the passage of time, surely, some of the spark between the two may have fizzled out, but it hadn't. If anything, that spark only continued to grow stronger between Shannon and Ruby, and it did not take much to set that spark off for either of them: a look, a touch, a hug, that was all it took to ignite that spark into a flame of passion between the two lovebirds. They were still just as much in love with each other now as they were when they first realized they had fallen for each other.
This may have turned into one of the best days Ruby ever had with Shannon – an impromptu date to a place she had never been before, and getting to experience a number of enjoyable attractions with the love of her life by her side the entire time, she did not want this day to end… although, it seemed it would have to when she suddenly felt a vibration against her thigh, and when she removed her phone from the pocket in her leggings, she saw the text she received from her mother:
Where are you? It's almost dinner time!
A look at the time in the top left corner of the screen alerted her to just how much of the day had escaped her.
"Dang it! I didn't even know how late it was!" She exclaimed as she quickly pocketed her phone and turned to her girlfriend once more. "Sorry to, like, leave you hangin', Shans, but I gotta go; dinner's in five, and I gotta hoof it all the way home! This has been a totally awesome first-time visit, and I def wanna sneak in here again since there's, like, still so much more to see… but only with you, my moo."
"Being here with you has made this my best visit to Dairyland ever!" Shannon exclaimed.
With nothing more to say, Ruby threw her arms around Shannon; there was no way she could part ways with her beloved girlfriend without a goodbye hug… actually, there was almost nothing Ruby could do with Shannon without some kind of a hug – a sentiment that Shannon wholly shared in as she returned the gesture and squeezed her girlfriend tightly. After another quick peck on the cheek, Ruby reluctantly left Shannon behind and made a beeline for her house. Aside from her affinity for dancing, Ruby was not a particularly physically active teen, and running great distances was definitely not something she was accustomed to, however, with adrenaline and a copious amount of sugar racing through her veins, she, remarkably, was able to rush all the way from Dairyland to her house, and make it home in time for dinner with only seconds to spare.
Meanwhile, Mohammad and Diya just finished setting the table for their dinner. Being an Indian-American family, they upheld not just Indian customs in their household, but American as well: they believed in sitting down and having dinner as a family, and as such, Ruby was always expected to be ready to sit down to the table with her parents – even if she had little to talk with them about. Just as Diya was about to send Ruby another text to inquire of her whereabouts, their daughter finally raced through the front door and into their formal dining room, where her sudden appearance was met with parental consternation.
"Where have you been?" Diya demanded to know. "You knew what time we would be having dinner!"
"Sorry!" Ruby huffed as she struggled to catch her breath and calm her adrenaline. "I was hanging out with Shannon, and I just lost track of time."
That was no lie whatsoever – she did hang out with Shannon, and she did lose track of time… she just left out specific details so as to not reveal where they were hanging out, and what they were doing that afternoon.
"What were you two doing all of this time?" Diya asked as Mohammad sat his wife at the table before he stepped over and pulled out a chair for his daughter as well.
Luckily, Ruby had anticipated this line of questioning from her parents, and had formulated a cover story:
"We, like, saw Shakespeare in the park…" she lied as she took her seat. "Shannon's, like, a big Shakespeare buff."
Diya glanced at her smart watch, saw how much time had passed, and had to question such a claim: "That took you six hours?"
In as much as Ruby enjoyed those six hours, that was small potatoes compared to the fact that there was one night during summer vacation where she and Shannon stayed up through the night even longer than that texting and chatting with each other the entire time. Nevertheless, Ruby was able to practice more of the improvisational skills she learned in Mrs. Bernardo's class as she added to her story…
"Like, you know how long Shakespeare can get…" she brushed it off. "Mrs. Bernardo almost made us stage, like, a whole six-hour Shakespeare play in theater class last year…"
Diya responded with a sigh. She and her husband were genuinely delighted their daughter finally found herself a best friend, and that she was spending time socializing with such – as far as they were concerned, it was quite preferable to her social life in years past, as she inserted herself into one social circle after another without taking the time to establish any meaningful connections or friendships. Still, in spite of their daughter's ever-growing independence, she was expected to abide by household rules.
"I suppose we'll just let it go at that…" resolved Diya. "But don't forget, you still have certain curfews…"
"I said I was sorry," moaned Ruby over how it felt as though she was being interrogated by her parents for allowing time to slip away.
As Mohammad took his seat at the table, a certain aroma caught his sense of smell, and it clearly came not from the food on their table, or any of the candles that burned throughout their house. It seemed to come from his daughter.
"Ruby? Why do you smell like buttered popcorn?" He asked.
Ruby nearly clenched her teeth under her pursed duck lips; clearly, that strong and pungent aroma from within the confines of the Tunnel of Butter remained on her person and lingered into the air around her. To think back on that particular moment, and what it lead to, she realized she could still respond to such a query without it being a total lie…
"Well, Shannon and I shared a tub while we were in the park…"
By now, Diya looked all the more disappointed in her daughter and bemoaned, "You spoiled your dinner!"
"No!" Ruby insisted. "It was, like, way earlier in the day, it was more like a lunch kinda thing; I can still eat dinner!"
At least, she hoped she could; she neglected to mention she also had a candied apple, some hot chocolate, and sampled a lot of milkshake flavors throughout her day.
The dinner tabled was no place for petty bickering as far as Mohammad was concerned, and he decided it was best to lay these things to rest so that they may enjoy their meal as a family.
"It has been quite an eventful day, but now is the time to nourish our bodies as well as our souls," he said as he joined hands with his wife and daughter, and lead them in a prayer of thanksgiving to Annapurna, the Hindu goddess of nourishment.
Although Ruby usually bowed her head and closed her eyes as her parents did during such a ritual, she did not usually follow along with the prayer her father would say aloud – for one thing, she barely understood a word of the Hindi language, except for but a few basic, common words and phrases, and for another, she was not even sure if any of these Hindu deities even existed (not to mention she could never keep straight which Hindu deity was who and for what)… in that respect, one could say that she was a Doubting Thomas. Instead, her mind wandered into the memories of the day she spent with Shannon, and how much fun she had experiencing an Amoosement Park her parents otherwise forbade her from entering. Generally speaking, Ruby was not usually one to rebel against her parents, although, if she had to admit, it did feel a little good to be a little bad.
This was another one of those chapters that I ended up cutting quite a bit out to keep it within a reasonable length. There were other rides/attractions I had written Ruby experiencing with Shannon, but we have seen them on the show before, so I figured to reduce the focus on the Sweetheart Land attractions, and others we haven't seen before. On that subject, I also had an epilogue written to wrap everything up… but I decided to delete it, because it really contributed nothing to the story as a whole, and the more I thought about it, the more it basically just recycled things Albertson and I both have already written before, so why do it again?
Other than that, I hope you also got some amusement out of the Easter eggs in this chapter. Already, Ruby is exhibiting litigation skills that will serve her well in her future career… how foreshadowing.
Lastly, at the request of GylmarGeniusCat, my profile page now includes a list of the Sharuby Saga stories in chronological order. Hopefully, this will clear up those who are confused by the order of the timeline.