The summer season left the world abruptly, a cool front invading southern Georgia and pushing sticky, searing air out of the way without warning. Coats and rainboots would be pulled from the backs of closets with the arrival of October, cardigans and pumpkin patches and orange leaves annexing the entirety of Sweetwine, welcomed with open arms.
Barbara Robbins was a martinet for festivity, no matter the holiday. Halloween, Christmas, the Fourth of July—they all warranted her very best decorations, all crafted by hand and used year after year, a friendly, familiar constant on the corner of Lovers Lane and 32nd Street.
The oak tree in front of the quaint yellow house already bore white ghosts, swinging eerily from the branches, and the front porch was lined with mock cobwebs and a few stout pumpkins. As children, Arizona and Timothy would fight tooth and nail over who got to put up the family's famous skeleton, affectionately nicknamed Scary Potter by Arizona, after her favorite book series at the time. One year, after finishing the fifth book, the blonde even dressed him up in a robe and glasses and gave him a stick to hold as a wand, something Callie had subsequently teased her about for years.
"She put up Scary without me," Arizona whined as she shifted her car into park, turning to the woman beside her. Blue eyes effervesced with childlike excitement. "Buuuuut I think we're supposed to carve pumpkins tonight after dinner. It'll be just like old times."
"Not quite like old times," Callie mumbled. Coffee-colored eyes fixated fretfully on the daffodil house in front of her, as if afraid it would break loose from its foundation and strike her at any given moment. "What if they hate me now?"
"Callie, you're you. No one could hate you," golden brows furrowed. She unbuckled her seatbelt to get closer. Her small hand covered tan ones, stilling them as they wrung together nervously in her lap. "Believe me, I tried to. For years. But I just don't think it's humanly possible." She dimpled, and Callie felt her muscles relax on their own accord at the vision.
Callie wrapped her fingers around Arizona's, letting the undemanding touch mollify her. "Are you sure?"
"I'm more than sure," Arizona beamed, stealing a few tiny kisses from her lover before pulling back. They were running a bit late, and her father was a stickler for punctuality. "C'mon, mama made stew and sweet tea."
Callie wrapped her arms around herself nervously as she followed Arizona inside, keeping a safe distance to avoid rousing any suspicion in the older couple. She recited a silent prayer in her head as she trekked up familiar steps, begging God or whoever was listening for gentleness from the Robbins, not that she necessarily deserved it.
The blonde opened the door without knocking, and she heard a motherly, familiar voice before seeing the person it belonged to. That sweet voice alone made Callie feel whole in a way she hadn't in a long, long time. "Oh, sweetheart, you made it! Your father and I were beginning to get worried. Come on in, the cornbread is just—"
"Mama," Arizona interrupted. "I hope, um, I hope there's enough for an extra guest." Pale cheeks flushed, suddenly shy about her mother knowing the truth regarding her history with Callie.
"Of course there's enough, baby, that isn't a problem," Barbara called from the kitchen. Arizona followed the sound of her voice, and Callie followed behind her timidly. "Did Lucy manage to get off of—" the older woman's words died abruptly in her throat when she lifted her head, eyes landing on the woman she had once sincerely viewed as a second daughter.
"Mama, you remember Callie?"
"My god," Barbara was beaming. Surprised, sure, but undoubtedly happy. Her reaction made both younger women relax a bit. Mrs. Robbins pulled her oven mitts off of her hands and opened her arms up, enveloping Callie in the kind of hug only a mother could give. "Callie, dear, how could I ever forget? Look at you. You're glowing!" She pulled back from the hug to look at her pretty face, smiling warmly before looking at her daughter. "Isn't she so beautiful, honey?"
The pink in her cheeks worsened. "Yes, mama," the blonde groaned, feeling like an easily embarrassed teenager again.
Callie was blushing, too. "I'm so happy to see you." She hesitated, then added, "I missed y'all."
"Oh, we missed you too, sweetheart. It's so good to see your face," she pinched Callie's cheeks affectionately, and Arizona felt her heart warm as she watched. She had known her parents would welcome Callie back with open arms, no questions asked, because they loved her, but it was different actually witnessing it in person.
"Where's Daddy?"
As if on cue, the back door opened and Samson came bounding through the house, paws clicking against the hardwood floor as he rushed to greet his new guests. Arizona giggled and dropped to her knees to rub the dog's ears. "Calliope, this is Sammy," she grinned.
"Did someone say Calliope?" a deep voice behind them asked. It was Daniel, hands busy raveling up Samson's red leash and hanging it on its hook by the door. The usually stoic man's gaze landed on Callie, and everyone was surprised to see him break into a real smile, teeth and all. "Well I'll be damned," he laughed and crossed the length of the kitchen, wrapping Callie up in a bear hug, lifting her feet up off the ground momentarily.
Blue eyes widened, and she found herself a bit protective. "Be careful with her, daddy."
"Oh, hush, young lady," Daniel scolded gently, pulling back from the hug to give the Latina a fatherly pat on the shoulder. His composure returned instantaneously, but everyone in the room knew how happy he was, how happy all of them were. It wasn't often that Daniel Robbins smiled or laughed or extended such a friendly embrace.
Arizona bit back a stupid smile. She caught Callie's eyes for a moment, and the pure joy she saw in them melted her.
"Well, let's go eat before it gets cold," Barbara suggested, gently herding the group toward the dining room table. "We have lots of catching up to do."
Barbara insisted on filling their plates with more than enough cornbread and mashed potatoes and steaming beef stew and collard greens, and Callie was suddenly aware of how empty her stomach was. She had been forced to skip multiple meals the past few weeks, and she couldn't remember the last time she had had a warm, nutritious, homecooked meal in front of her. She made sure to take special care to eat slowly, to savor every bite.
"Thank you so much for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Robbins. It's delicious."
Barbara's nose wrinkled. "Oh, honey, when have you ever called us that? We're still Daniel and Barbara. Or mom and dad."
Callie smiled and pushed a lock of black hair behind her ear with her left hand.
"How have you been these days?" Daniel asked, much more open and talkative than compared to their dinner with Lucy. "I can't help but notice the wedding ring."
Callie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Samson was laying at her feet, and sensing her growing anxiety, pawed gently at her leg to calm her. It worked, if only a little bit, and she made a mental note to slip him a piece of cornbread later for being a sweet boy. "I'm married, yes, to my husband Luke. Lucas Moore. He works at the tire shop—"
"On Grand Avenue?"
"Yes," Callie startled a bit. "You…know him?"
"No, I've just had some work done by him," Daniel's response was short. He didn't seem impressed at all. Callie couldn't blame him. "I wouldn't have paired you with him."
She cleared her throat quietly, desperate to change the subject. "And I work at Monday's Place. Y'all should come by for some pie sometime, on the house," she smiled warmly, grateful when Barbara nodded enthusiastically. She hesitated momentarily, setting her fork down to rest her hand on her stomach instead. "And I'm… I'm, um, expecting, actually. A baby. I'm expecting a baby." She kicked herself for how awkwardly it came out. She really needed to practice saying the words out loud.
"Oh," Barbara chimed, before realization sunk in. "Oh. Is that how you two… reconnected?" Barbara was more than aware that her daughter was the only OB/GYN in their small county.
"Arizona is my doctor, yes."
"I see," Barbara smiled kindly, reaching across the table to gently pat Callie's hand. "Well, congratulations, honey. You'll make such a beautiful mother."
Something about the way the aging woman said it made Callie believe her. She could tell from the gentle ache in her cheeks that she was smiling. "I hope so."
"Oh, you will," Barbara returned to eating her dinner, waving her hand dismissively. "This might be the closest I ever get to a grandchild, the rate my Arizona's going."
"Mom!"
"What?" She asked innocently, popping a shoulder up in a nonchalant shrug. "Four years with this woman and we've only met her once. Just doesn't seem very urgent to me."
The last thing Arizona wanted to do was defend her relationship to her mother over dinner, and especially not in front of Callie. "It's really no one's business besides mine and Lucy's." She caught those brown eyes and hoped Callie could see the silent apology in them.
The truth was, Arizona and Lucy had never even discussed having children. The blonde quickly changed the subject every time her girlfriend brought up even marriage, let alone having a baby together. She wasn't sure why she suddenly wanted, needed, to tell Callie that so badly. It didn't matter, she knew. It didn't change anything, but she was overwhelmed with the abrupt desire for the brunette to know, and it scared her a little. She bit the inside of her cheek and changed the subject instead. "Can you make a fire tonight, daddy? While we carve the pumpkins?"
"Of course. It's tradition."
Arizona's dimples appeared, but Barbara frowned worriedly. "Oh, I only got three pumpkins for tonight. I didn't know we'd be having a fourth," she began to clear the table as they finished eating. "Callie, honey, you can take mine."
"That's really not necessary," the brunette insisted. She stood up, immediately helping Mrs. Robbins carry the empty plates to the kitchen. "I'm more than happy to just watch." She began to clean the dishes for the older woman, and Barbara smiled at her, admiring her giving spirit.
"Shut up, Calliope, we'll share my pumpkin," Arizona argued from the dining room, making everyone laugh. The blonde followed her dad outside to help kindle the fire, leaving Callie and Barbara all alone to clean the kitchen.
Her nerves returned momentarily when she realized Arizona wasn't around to protect her. They disappeared immediately, though, when an affectionate hand touched her shoulder. "My sweet child," Barbara said softly, and Callie turned to look at the aging woman's face. A sharp sting of guilt for abandoning them for so long hit her, but she quickly repressed it.
She had done what she needed to do at the time, and she wouldn't keep kicking herself for it. She couldn't. But she could rebuild what she had broken, and she was determined to do precisely that.
Her brown eyes softened and she hugged the older woman, overcome by how nice it felt to have that motherly comfort again, free of any judgement whatsoever. It was pure, unselfish love. She hadn't known how much she had missed it until it was in her arms again. "I'm sorry," she whispered into a thin shoulder.
"None of that," Barbara insisted, rubbing her back to comfort her. "We're just happy to finally have you back." Callie sniffled. "Help me carry some hot apple cider outside, dear?"
The brunette happily obliged, carefully balancing two steaming cups of cider in each hand and following Barbara to the backyard. It still looked more or less the same—a beautifully kept garden speckled with bird baths and hummingbird feeders and colorful little clay garden gnomes that had freaked Callie out as a child, windchimes and outdoor string lights hanging above her head, a picnic table in the middle of the yard lined with citronella candles, a fire pit with a perimeter of gray stones. The small treehouse she and Arizona had spent countless nights in as kids was still standing somehow, though the wood appeared to be rotting now.
She handed a cup of cider to Arizona, her face glowing a pretty orange in the firelight. "You missed it, Calliope, I lit it all by myself," she flashed her white teeth, beaming with pride, and Callie let out a laugh at the way her father rolled his eyes.
"Something tells me you had a little help," she teased, passing off a cup to Daniel, who winked cheekily at her. She shivered a little at the cool air and sat on a stone beside the blonde, feeling their legs brush.
"You want my cardigan?" She offered sincerely, and the brunette blushed and shook her head.
"I'm okay for now. The fire feels good," she sipped her apple cider, letting it warm her from the inside out. "I think our jack-o-lantern should be scary. With big teeth and everything."
"No," the blonde argued. She had always hated the dark, scary parts of Halloween. She much preferred the Christmas season. She would never say no to the candy or cute costumes, though. "I wanna carve a kitty cat."
"A cat? Really?"
"Yes, with whiskers and a cute little nose."
"And big scary teeth?"
Her nose scrunched. "I guess I can meet you in the middle. As long as I get my whiskers."
Callie laughed and rolled her eyes, the pair easily slipping into their own little world. "I've never met a bigger baby in my life."
Arizona narrowed her blue eyes. "I'm not a baby. I'm just…sweet."
Callie's brow arched and she smirked, quickly biting back the inappropriate comment on the tip of her tongue. They weren't alone, she quickly remembered. "Whatever you say, Robbins," she settled for instead, extending their eye contact a little longer than what could safely be considered friendly.
Arizona's mouth ran dry and she laid down her cup of cider, reaching for their medium sized pumpkin instead, dying for the air to stop feeling so stifling. She both loved and hated how easily things could escalate between them—it was addictive, but it was dangerous. Friends, she silently reminded herself. In front of her parents, in front of anyone else, they were friends.
After sawing off the crown with relative ease, she rolled up her sleeves and crinkled her nose, mentally preparing herself for the slime she was about to unearth. She delivered babies daily, cut into mothers to perform emergency C-sections, but somehow this, the guts of a pumpkin, grossed her out more.
Callie held back her laughter unsuccessfully. "Do you… need help?"
"…Maybe."
"It's just a pumpkin, Arizona," Callie laughed and reached her hands in, scooping it out and tossing it into the discard pile Arizona's parents had already started.
The blonde almost gagged. "That's… gross. So gross." She visibly shuddered, and Callie rolled her eyes and plopped a handful of pumpkin seeds and fibers into Arizona's unsuspecting hand. She squealed and dropped it as if it had burned her. "Callie!" Blue eyes narrowed. "I trusted you. That was mean."
The brunette giggled. "You're a doctor and you're scared of a pumpkin? Really? You sure you can deliver my baby?"
Arizona wiped her slimy hand on the grass, nose scrunched. "Your baby is cuter than a pumpkin."
"Even a pumpkin with a kitty cat on it?"
"Even that."
Callie smiled. "Come here, just try it. It's not that bad." She scooted over a little to make room for her lover, and Arizona sighed quietly before giving in. She hesitated before reaching her hands in, helping Callie clean the pumpkin with a pained look on her face. It was probably one of the cutest things Callie had ever seen, but she held that thought in as they went about their work.
Neither noticed the way Arizona's parents watched them, or the knowing looks they silently exchanged between each other.
They relished in each other's closeness, stealing whispers and giggles now and then. Arizona helicoptered over Callie's shoulder as she sketched out a scary cat with a magic marker, scolding her when she made the teeth a little sharper than she would have liked. The blonde carved it out perfectly after that, following the lines Callie had made. They lit a tea candle and popped it inside, both women grinning when their cat finally came to life.
"What should we name him?" Callie asked.
"What makes you think it's a him?"
"Look at him! He's handsome."
"Well I think she is beautiful."
"You're so annoying."
"Maybe," Arizona grinned, teeth shining up at the taller woman cheekily. Callie's hand rested on her waist instinctively, neither noticing its placement. "I think she looks like a Casper."
"Isn't Casper a boy?"
"Shh."
Callie laughed. "Fine, Casper the scary cat pumpkin it is." She moved to touch Arizona's hair, only then noticing she was covered in pumpkin and black sharpie.
Her clothes were, too, and grass and Samson's fur and ashes from the fire. Her nose crinkled.
There was no way she could go home to Luke like this.
She swallowed and pulled back, and as if reading her mind, Arizona quickly chimed in. "Hey, let's wash your clothes up before you go," she offered, and Callie felt relief flood her. Arizona was always so observant, so reverent, so perfect. She wasn't sure she'd ever be able to understand how she always somehow knew what Callie needed.
"There's some spare clothes in Arizona's old bedroom, darling," Barbara offered. The older woman stifled a yawn. It was after 9 and late for her and Daniel's standards, but they wouldn't miss spending time with their daughter or Callie for anything. "I'll help with the laundry."
"Mama, you're sleepy," Arizona pouted. "Y'all get some rest, okay? I'll take care of her," she promised, gathering their empty cups of cider to take inside.
"Goodnight, girls," Daniel said. "I had fun tonight. Don't you be a stranger, Callie," he commanded, giving each girl a quick kiss on the forehead before retiring to his bedroom for the night.
"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Barbara worried.
"Mama, I've got it," she laughed quietly, pressing a kiss to her mother's cheek. "Thank you for tonight. I'll see you soon," she promised, cleaning up their mess.
"Thank you so much, Barbara," Callie said sincerely, hugging the older woman for the third time that night. "I'll, um, see you…?"
"Soon, I hope, dear," Mrs. Robbins smiled sweetly. "You're welcome anytime. Our house has always been yours." She gestured to the two of them as she walked down the hallway. "Sweet dreams and drive safe, sweet girls. Love you."
When the bedroom door clicked closed, a breath fell past Arizona's lips. "God, that was hard," she whispered, quickly pressing a kiss to Callie's mouth before leading her down the hall. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up," she said sweetly. She pushed her childhood bedroom door open with her hip, collecting an oversized Yale School of Medicine sweatshirt that her father had bought out of pride upon Arizona's acceptance from a drawer and tossing it at Callie. "Go shower, you smell like smoke," she giggled.
Callie rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the overwhelming feelings that flash flooded her upon being in Arizona's room again. The white sheets with pink flowers, the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling, the pictures of the two of them that still sat in frames on her bedside table, it all brought back so much. "You don't smell much better."
"I'd join you in the shower, but I gotta wash your uniform," Arizona pouted, batting her stormy eyes at her. The brunette just smirked, peeling the light blue dress off of her body and pitching it toward her. Her bra and panties were next, and Arizona almost moaned out loud at the vision before her.
"Be fast," Callie smirked, pressing a slow kiss to her pink mouth, before sauntering toward the bathroom connected to the guest room. "Arizona?" She called from the doorway, her voice sounding a bit smaller than she meant for it to. When blue eyes met hers, she smiled sweetly. "Thank you, by the way."
Arizona melted, the lust burning deep within her giving way to something softer, something sweeter. "Thank you," she whispered back, promptly disappearing down the hallway to the laundry room to throw a quick load in.
When she returned, the sound of the shower running and Callie's soft humming in the bathroom almost tempted her into joining, but something inside of her stopped her.
She knew what would happen if she took that route. They would undoubtedly fuck, and it would be quick and hot and passionate and dirty and mind-blowing, just like it always was, just like in the kitchen and in Arizona's car.
But she didn't want that. Not tonight.
She laid down in her twin sized bed instead, staring up at the stars on her ceiling, counting them over and over the way she always had when trying to fall asleep as a teenager, the comforting sound of Callie humming Georgia On My Mind lulling her into a dreamy slumber before she even realized she was falling asleep.
The gentle dip of the mattress woke her from her light sleep less than ten minutes later, and she rubbed her tired eyes and turned her neck to look at Callie, hair wet and dressed in nothing but the Yale sweatshirt she had loaned her. "God, you're so beautiful," she whispered quietly, scooting over to make room for Callie to lay beside her.
"If you're into the whole wet dog look, maybe," she laughed, opening up her arms to pull Arizona closer, and they melted together perfectly, cuddling for the first time in ages.
The blonde laid her head on her chest, dropping little kisses to her neck. "Stop it," she scolded her softly, lips muffled against her warm skin. "You always do that when I compliment you."
Callie's hand played lazily with Arizona's hair, twisting and untwisting blonde curls around her fingers. Her lips fell into a frown, one that Arizona reached up to kiss away. "I know. I'm sorry. I'll try not to."
"Thank you," Arizona kissed her again, small hands sliding up Callie's sweatshirt, caressing her sides tenderly. The brunette's lips fell open and she turned on her side, pressing closer to that lithe body as they kissed, slowly and affectionately, taking their time to truly enjoy one another.
A shiver shot up Callie's spine when Arizona sucked on her tongue, and the blonde ghosted her fingertips down her back slowly, feeling every gentle ridge of her vertebrae, memorizing the hills and valleys of her lover.
When they pulled away from the kiss, eyes were hooded and lips were swollen and Arizona grinned melodiously, lashes fluttering as cobalt eyes fixated on the object of her affections. "You're all I ever think about," she confessed quietly, making herself vulnerable. It was terrifying. It felt like exposing her jugular to her biggest predator and taunting come and get me.
Callie swallowed, the pad of her thumb ghosting over a sharp jawline. "Me too," the Latina admitted gently, and some of that terror vacated Arizona's body. She sighed softly, sadly, and captured her lips in another kiss, claiming Callie as hers if only for a moment.
Plump lips moved down a pale neck, fashioning a trail of wet kisses, careful not to leave any permanent marks. A breathy moan escaped her and she started to wiggle, squeezing full hips in her hands. "I want…"
"Hmm?" Callie hummed against her pulse point, the gentle vibrations sending a jolt of arousal through her body that nearly jerked Arizona off the bed.
"I want to make love to you," she whispered huskily, heart hammering against her ribcage. "Slowly. I want to take my time with you."
Callie swore she could have come right then and there. "Your parents…" She worried her lower lip between her teeth.
"We can be quiet. It'll be like old times," Arizona smirked, pressing her thigh between Callie's legs and giggling under her breath at the moan that fell wantonly from her mouth.
The brunette tugged gently at the doctor's scrub bottoms, giving in easily. "You're a good negotiator," she laughed, and Arizona quieted her with a kiss, wiggling out of her pants and kicking them onto the floor like Callie wanted.
They undressed one another slowly, between sloppy kisses and breathless whines and a few quiet giggles. Arizona finally tugged Callie's sweatshirt off, freeing those voluptuous breasts with a gentle bounce, and she wrapped her lips around a pebbled nipple and sucked softly, kneading her other breast in her hands.
Callie arched her back off the mattress, dark eyes fluttering closed. "Arizona…" She sighed, tangling her hand in blonde locks. The blonde pressed her thigh against slick folds, the friction of it sending sparks through the Latina's hypersensitive body. "C'mere," she whispered, tugging on the blonde's thin hips, repositioning the woman on top of her so that their legs were scissored.
Arizona's head fell back, long blonde hair scraping her lower back, when their pussies pressed against one another, the friction against her swollen clit knocking the breath out of her. "Fuck," she whimpered, steadying herself by holding onto the headboard above Callie's head. She rolled her hips forward to meet Callie's, the pair easily finding a common rhythm.
Callie palmed Arizona's bouncing breasts, head thrown back to expose her delicate neck. Arizona kissed it habitually, feeling the vigor of her pulse beneath her mouth. "Baby, I'm gonna…" Callie warned, thighs trembling a bit from the intensity of their slippery folds working against each other.
"Not yet," the blonde choked out, rolling off of the brunette and onto the bed again. Callie whined at the loss of contact, opening her mouth to protest, but she was quickly shut up with a kiss and Arizona's fingers on her puffy clit. She was grateful Arizona's mouth was on hers to muffle the animalistic noise that escaped her at the connection.
Arizona giggled against her mouth, kissing down her body slowly, tongue trailing over her salty-sweet skin. Callie was surprised when the blonde paused at her stomach, concentrating tiny kisses there and giggling against her abdomen. "Hi little baby," she said sweetly, looking up at Callie with a mischievous glint in her eyes and a smile.
The butterflies that filled her stomach at the simple gesture took her by surprise, but before she could wrap her mind around how wholesome, how sweet it was, Arizona was moving on, preoccupied with worshipping Callie's beautiful body. And she wasn't complaining. She reached for a pillow and bit down on it, an old trick she had learned that helped keep her quiet, and just in time for Arizona to lick a straight line up her slit.
A guttural moan escaped her and her hips jerked, her primal desire for the woman beneath her clouding every single thought in her mind. Arizona ate her out almost torturously, purposefully building her up to the cusp of bliss and then relenting, never quite letting her reach the point of no return. It was good, so fucking good, but it was driving her crazy with frustration, her whole body starting to tremble after the third time Arizona pulled away. "Arizona," she hissed through clenched teeth. She reached for delicate wrists and tugged them upward, sighing in relief when she surrendered and slithered up her body and pressed a kiss to her swollen mouth.
"Sorry," the blonde whispered sheepishly, cheeks flushed, chest heaving from breathlessness. "I just don't want this to end," she admitted, ghosting little kisses across her parted lips. "I don't know when I'll get to have you again like this."
Callie's face fell a little, understanding instantly what she meant. Her heart seized in her chest and she brushed a strand of sweaty hair away from Arizona's full cheeks. She couldn't promise her another time like this—intimate and slow and on their own terms—and that pained her. "I wish things were different," she admitted quietly, and she didn't miss the way blue eyes started to shine, Arizona blinking rapidly to get rid of it.
"Me too," she sighed, pressing a sad kiss to Callie's collarbone. "Can I just… pretend for a few minutes that you're mine? Is that… Would that be okay?"
"Yeah," Callie choked out, swallowing the painful lump in her throat. "Come here," she pulled the smaller woman to her, pressing a shameless kiss to her pink lips, hoping that every little thing she was feeling she could convey without audibly saying it.
Arizona melted into her, the two women's limbs entangling. Fingers drifted between thighs, sliding into one another simultaneously, desperate to make the other feel good, feel whole, feel.
When they came unraveled, together, Arizona buried her face in a tan neck and Callie bit down on a pale shoulder and they willed themselves to keep quiet, finally collapsing from exhaustion and curling up in each other's arms as they caught their breath, naked bodies pressed tightly together.
They laid in silence for a few comfortable minutes, Callie tracing little hearts and stars on the blonde's shoulder with her fingertip, mind elsewhere, when Arizona finally broke the silence. "Calliope?"
"Hmm?"
"I don't—" Her voice caught in her throat and she closed her eyes, willing herself to keep her composure. "I can't be another experiment to you. I really think that would break me this time." She sat up a little in bed and pulled her knees to her chest, making herself small.
Callie's face fell. She supposed she should have expected this conversation to come up eventually, but the bile in her throat still burned anyway. She furrowed her brows, extending her arms for the blonde when she moved to pull away. "Hey," she called quietly, the insecure look on Arizona's face unsettling her. She was normally so confident and sure, and it was jarring to see her purposefully shrink herself this way. It felt even worse knowing she had been the cause. "You were never an experiment to me, Arizona. Not ever, okay?"
A lower lip wobbled, and she kept her eyes trained on the pastel wall in front of her, certain if her eyes met Callie's, she would crumble. "At the airport. You said—"
"I know what I said," she interrupted sharply, certain that hearing the blonde repeat those hateful words would be too painful. "And I'm sorry that I said it." Her hand cupped Arizona's face gently, forcing her to make eye contact. "I loved you so much. So much. It hurt to breathe sometimes. You have to know that."
But instead of blue eyes softening at the confession, they watered, and a jaw clenched in what was undeniable, white-hot anger. "You ruined us," she choked out, a tear falling down her cheek. She wiped it away roughly with the palm of her hand, embarrassed that she couldn't reign in her emotions. "This could have been our life, Callie. Our baby. I wanted everything with you, and you ruined it."
She jerked her face away from Callie's soft hand, and the Latina's heart broke. She almost started crying, too, but managed to keep herself together. Arizona was still angry, and she had questions, and that was understandable. The least she owed her was answers. "I don't regret that day in the airport."
A humorless laugh fell from the blonde's lips. "Ouch. Alright," she moved to get off the bed, presumably to find her clothes and end their conversation before it could even begin. "Understood."
Callie grabbed her wrist before she could get too far, gently pulling her back down on the bed. "Please listen to me," she pleaded, brown eyes imploring her. Arizona bit the inside of her cheek, but she stayed seated. "I don't regret putting you on that plane because look at you, Arizona." She gestured toward her. "You're so beautiful and successful and happy and you did it. Everything you ever dreamed of. And I couldn't be prouder of you."
Her face finally softened, the walls she had quickly built to protect herself falling down just as fast. "I wanted all of it with you. That was my dream."
"I know. It was mine, too," she admitted. She tried again to reach for her, pleased when the blonde didn't jerk away from this attempt.
"What changed?"
Callie felt herself tense a little. She never talked about this part of her life. Never. But it was Arizona in front of her, and she trusted her more than anyone else in her life. She wrung her hands in her lap and cleared her throat. "The night before our flight, my parents…" Her voice wavered and she could tell she wouldn't make it through without crying. Arizona was next to her in a heartbeat, wrapping her arms around her, chin resting on her shoulder. It filled her with enough strength to propel her forward.
"My parents sat me down and told me that mama was sick. Really sick. Cancer," she sucked in a breath. "Daddy asked if there was anything I had done that God would need to punish the family for, and I just started crying. I couldn't stop. I thought it was my fault for loving a girl, and I told them that, I told them the truth. About, y'know, us."
Arizona rubbed soothing circles on Callie's back, a sick feeling settling into her stomach.
"And Daddy just lost it. I've never seen him so mad, which is saying a lot. He started throwing things and told me I was going to hell and that I was killing my mother—" she hiccupped, wiping hot tears off her cheeks and sinking into the blonde's embrace, seeking her warmth and comfort. "—and he kicked me out. I gave them every penny I had saved up for Rhode Island to help pay for my mama's treatment, but he didn't care. He wouldn't look at me, wouldn't speak to me, even at her funeral. He still blames me now."
"Callie," Arizona's voice cracked. She was crying, too, upset she couldn't protect Callie from all that she had been through. She kissed her salty tears off of her face, squeezing her close. "Callie, it wasn't your fault, okay? None of it was your fault. Please hear me when I say that."
"I know that now," she admitted quietly, "but somedays it still feels like it is." She wiped her eyes, gaining a bit more self-possession, and sucked in a shaky breath. "I couldn't go to Rhode Island with you because I couldn't afford my tuition, or rent, or food. I got a job at the diner and slept on the streets and on random people's couches and in seedy motels for a few months. I was still sending most of my check to my parents to help my mama then. And that's when I met Luke," she shrugged her shoulder. "And he had a stable roof I could live in and a bed I could sleep in and I was desperate."
"You should have told me the truth, Calliope. I could have helped—"
Callie cut her off with a tired laugh. "Arizona, you and I both know you wouldn't have gotten on that plane if I had told you the truth." The blonde's mouth opened to protest, but Callie pushed on. "You protect the things you love, more than anyone I've ever met. I love that about you, but if you had sacrificed your entire future to be a good man in a storm and protect me I never would've forgiven myself. I had to make you hate me to make you go."
Arizona closed her mouth, stunned, momentarily, into silence.
Because Callie was right.
"My parents…?"
Callie only shrugged, rubbing her tired eyes. "I guess I really didn't want God to punish them because of me too."
"I'm so sorry," Arizona said softly, sincerely, her voice cracking. She had spent so long being angry, trying to hate her, questioning every moment they had ever shared together, only to find out that Callie had ultimately sacrificed her out of love. Her stomach hurt. "You didn't deserve any of it."
She just shrugged again, pulling Arizona into her arms so they could lay together for a few more minutes before they had to leave. "I'd rather me go through it than somebody else."
That only made Arizona's lip wobble even more. She buried her face into her tan neck. "I'm so sad that things aren't different."
"I am too," Callie whispered, playing with blonde hair to help calm both of them down. "I am too."
Arizona tilted her head back to kiss the brunette, letting her lips linger there longingly. "You're the greatest person I've ever met."
Callie let out a quiet chuckle, shaking her head. "Now you're just being dramatic."
"Hey," blue eyes narrowed sharply, "you promised to stop doing that when I compliment you."
A laugh bubbled out of her chest, and she kissed the blonde's forehead affectionately before pulling away. "We should get going soon. Luke will be expecting me."
Arizona sighed and regretfully slid out of the twin bed, pulling on her clothes quickly. "I'll go get your uniform outta the dryer," she offered, disappearing momentarily and returning with Callie's warm, clean clothes. The brunette dressed quickly, before positioning herself in front of a mirror to retie her hair with her signature ribbon.
Their drive was quiet. They both sat in silence, processing the long day they had shared together, the developments that had transgressed between them. Callie kept a firm grip on Arizona's hand as she drove, thumb brushing over knuckles lovingly. "You can just drop me off at the bus stop closest to my house, and I can walk from there," Callie suggested, and Arizona obeyed, pulling up to the curb beside the abandoned stop.
She rotated in her seat to look at the other woman. "I'm sorry for panicking earlier," she sighed. "I just got scared, I guess." She squeezed Callie's hand and pulled it close to her mouth, ghosting kisses over her knuckles gently. "And thank you for trusting me enough to open up."
Callie smiled amiably. "Don't be sorry. I'm scared, too. This is scary."
"Yeah," the blonde concurred.
Callie closed the distance and kissed her goodnight. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? Not this time. I promise," the brunette vowed against her mouth, and Arizona felt her lips twitch up into a smile.
She made an active choice, then and there, to believe her. To trust her.
"Me either." Another peck to her plump lips, and she pulled back. "Text me when you make it safe?"
"I will. Goodnight."
"Night, Callie," Arizona called out the door as Callie shut it and began her four block walk back to her house.
Callie wrapped her arms around herself, shivering as the midnight chill seeped into her skin as she walked. Her mind was reeling, the unexpected turn the day took leaving her disoriented and dizzy.
They had made love. They had talked, really talked. They had cuddled and laughed and made promises.
Whatever this was between them, it was very quickly spiraling into something out of either of their control.
But Callie found herself not particularly caring. If falling into Arizona was scary and dangerous and out of her control, she would still fall, over and over again, every time.
She neared her front door and slid her phone out of her pocket and her thumbs danced over the 9-digit keypad, typing out a text with ease.
Home safe. x C
Arizona's reply came quickly, and she hated the way her heart leapt from the vibration.
Good. Get some sleep.
She returned her phone to her pocket and unlocked the door, entering her small home as quietly as possible. If she was lucky, her husband would already be asleep, and she could completely bypass the handsy grabs and cigarette flavored kisses and questions, always so many questions.
Today, she was not lucky.
Luke was not only awake, but he was waiting for her on the couch, surrounded by crushed beer cans and cigarette butts, always a bad sign. She swallowed the bile rising in her throat as she closed the door behind her, ignoring the way her stomach burned, the way every instinctual part of her body screamed at her to run.
"Hi, honey, you're awake," Callie pasted on a fake smile, praying he didn't pick up on the shake in her voice. She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, wincing when he roughly grabbed her wrist.
"Don't you hi honey me, you filthy bitch," Luke hissed, and Callie moved to rip her arm away, white hot fear filling her at the tone of his voice.
"W-What's the matter?"
"I thought I'd stop by the diner today. To see my wife, like a gentleman would. Imagine my surprise when I get told she's not there," his nostrils flared, and he gave her a quick, hard shove. "Made me look like a fucking moron. Do you like making me look stupid, Callie?"
"Of course not," she cowered, backing away from him as he neared in on her.
"Where the fuck were you?"
She swallowed, frozen in place.
"Answer me!"
She jumped at his sharp tone, back pressing against the cabin-wood wall behind her. "I was at a doctor's appointment."
Luke snorted. "Bullshit. You ain't sick. Don't fucking lie to me," he raised his hand over his head, seconds away from striking her, when the words that tumbled out of Callie's mouth stopped him dead in his tracks.
"I'm pregnant."
She was curled up on the floor, hunched over in a position to try and shield her stomach, hands raised over her head in terrified surrender.
"No shit?" Luke asked, dropping his arm as a grin spread over his face. "I'm gonna be a daddy?"
Callie wanted to vomit. She nodded her head in silence. She hadn't planned to tell him so soon, but she had no idea how else to stop him on his warpath and she panicked. "Yeah," she whispered, flinching when the tall man dropped to his knees beside her and pushed her arms out of the way to hold her stomach.
Luke laughed. "I'm gonna be a daddy!" He was excited, a grin on his face that made Callie's blood boil. "My kid's in there." No, Callie thought sharply, protectively. My baby. Mine.
"I hope he looks just like me. We can name him Luke Junior, don't you think?" No.
He patted her stomach and she winced, pushing his hands away. "If you ever hit me again," she warned lowly, mustering more strength than she knew was inside her, "I will leave you. And I will take my child with me."
Luke's face fell. "Naw, baby, I didn't mean it. I won't. I swear it. I'm gonna be the best daddy, you'll see," he wrapped her up in a suffocating hug, and Callie couldn't breathe, couldn't think. "I need you, baby. You're all I got." He pressed a beer-scented kiss to his wife's hair, pressing her face to his t-shirt. "You know I love you, don't you?"
She didn't answer.
She let him hold her, body limp, eyes glazed over as she stared at the wall behind him, wishing more than anything that those walls would close in on her and swallow her whole.
She hated him. Hated him. This life, this house. It wasn't safe or warm or home and she wanted out.
She wanted Arizona.
She clenched her jaw in set resolve, more determined now than she ever had been to get out, for her own sake, for her child's sake.
She was leaving Callie Moore behind her, no matter what she had to do to get rid of her, and she was crawling back to Calliope Torres, crawling back to her joy and strength and the woman that she had once been.
She would win the contest in December, she had to, and she would move out and open up a sweet little pie shop and take good care of her baby, and she would finally be happy, finally stop punishing herself for her parent's mistakes. She would give her child jack-o-lantern Halloweens and sports teams and rice krispy treats and so, so much more than this.
She would.
Come hell or high water.