The Most Peerless Rainbow's End~ DanMachi~ 1
Chapter 1: Paradise Lost
In one of the farthest futures, in a place far outside the boundaries of one's trippiest psychedelic dreams, a figure clothed in fluorescent gold pure energy stood atop a horizonless world covered in rubescent amaranths. Numberless black pots of gold haphazardly dotted the uniform landscape, sitting most ornamentally at the ends of the countless rainbows that connected to much of the planet.
The figure's name was Zeneptron, and his features were as outlandish as the place he called home. He took the form of an extraordinarily tall male humanoid with perfectly quaffed hair darker than the shadowiest black holes, equivalently Spectralon skin, and a muscular system that put Mister Universe to shame. A metallic silver triple infinity symbol lit up the chest of his auriferous bodysuit. By far his most alluring feature, however, was his psychedelic blazar eyes.
"I thought I might find you out here. Rainbowiest color schemes are usually Appaneesty's druthers, but they suit you most appositely, too!" A voice, filled with the warmest familiarity, sang out. In an instant, the world was engulfed in a dazzling display of yinmn blue, pink, and golden light. And then, as quickly as it had appeared, the light show was over. Standing beside Zeneptron was the most unforgettable figure he'd ever known, FS Nancinaeku. Even after the light had faded, the air was buzzing with an energy that was entirely unconnected with him or the UOSC System. They stood there, a most perfect contrast of light and darkness, their presence filling the space with a palpable force.
FS Nancinaeku stood to his immediate left, an all-loving smile plastered on her perfect, golden ratio face as she folded her hands behind her back and puffed her chest out, an action that was immensely highlighting for apparent reasons. No matter how many times he saw her, Zeneptron never grew weary of her glittering amethystine dress that changed colors unceasingly, French ultramarine eyes with specks of yinmn, quantum, and Prussian blue, and neon pink, ass-length hair that was naturally straight.
"What can I say? Appaneesty and I ultimately want the same thing, but he claimed ownership of the 'Happiest Forever Afters' title card a long time ago. So, I had to create my own, and my ultimate goal of leading people to 'the most peerless rainbow's end,' at least in my modest opinion, is similarly impactful."
Nancinaeku giggled. "I like it! It has a nice ring to it, if a touch more tautological than Appaneesty's mantra. So, all the Omni-fictional reach one could ever want or need, everything that ever happened, ever could, ever will, never would, could, or will: Where do you want to start?"
"DanMachi," Zeneptron answered with zero hesitation, earning an all-knowing smile from his Absolutest Eternal Bond Mate.
"The one that got away, the story that retconned itself out of existence before it could begin to be told. I approve most wholeheartedly of this choice, Zeneptron. Go beyond the abstrusest intrinsic infeasibilities and trample rationality underfoot! I'll stay here and work on my next most smashing hit while watching you do your thing. Feel free to come to me if you need help with anything." She whispered enticingly in his ear, the seductive intonation of her last word making Zeneptron shiver with delight.
"I will, fret not. I'll always come running home to you." He whispered back, kissing her senselessly. Nancinaeku's eyes briefly widened before they slid shut, and she gasped into the kiss, the feeling of Zeneptron's impossibly adamantine body molding hers driving the pink-haired Deistic diva out of her minds.
He pulled away and offered her an all-loving smile of his own before he promptly vanished from her sight. Nancinaeku watched the spot where he once stood with a nymphomaniacal, lovingest sigh. Nancinaeku could always sense his presence and didn't let the Kugelblitzes of desire he lit in her stop the pinkette from sitting down atop a rolling foothill and jotting down lyrics as the beginnings of a new song formulated in her head. Even while she relaxed, she didn't grow complacent in her training, actively and passively magnifying her Omnivastance and indeterminacy by endless leaps and bounds every infinitesimal instant.
They had a goal to work toward, after all, one that depended quite substantially on their drive to grow stronger than everyone else. Their paradise may have been lost, but in the immortal words of FS Appaneesty, nothing and no one were ever truly gone. The infinite sets of dreams encapsulated by every version of everyone in Luaaar weaved together like an infinite helix, drilling a path toward a better tomorrow. That's why they couldn't give up, because no matter what happened, their bestest days were never truly behind them. They would regain their unfailing Utopia, and this time, it would be perfect and unassailable by any means accessible to him. It had to be because she had no idea what she'd do if it weren't.
XXX
Orario.
The City of Adventurers and not-so-gracious host to the largest dungeon in the entire lower world, with a tower so high some said it reached beyond the heavens and stars themselves was one of its many wonders. It was here that many of the gods and goddesses resided, creating familias and granting those who followed them blessings that would give them the strength to face the myriad perils of the dungeon. Arcanum, which was the gods' forbidden powers, was the most potent energy source in both the lower world and Heaven itself, and the tiniest amount of it gave adventurers the potential strength to contend with anything the dungeon could throw at them.
Speaking of the dungeon, something was happening on the upper floors, as the sounds of terrified screams and enraged roaring moos could be heard reverberating throughout the allegedly bottomless subterranean labyrinth. Said screams belonged to a fledgling adventurer only a couple of days into his dungeon-spelunking, with soft white hair and eyes like rubies, his manner akin to that of a scared albino rabbit.
What chased him was an anthropomorphous bull monster taller than any human alive, with horns that could skewer boulders and enormous hands that could crush a grown man into mincemeat. Despite having slow and linear movements, Minotaurs were among the strongest monsters from the middle floors, and even full parties of Level 1 adventurers would have trouble with them under normal conditions. Someone clearly forgot to remind this specimen of the rules of the dungeon, and it somehow found itself in the upper floors. For the newest and only member of the Hestia Familia, known as Bell Cranel, he cursed his horribly lousy luck and, in the midst of his terrified sprinting, wondered who he had pissed off in a past life to deserve such a wretched fate.
'Well, it looks like this is the end of the line!' Bell wildly thought when he suddenly found himself trapped like a rat at the dead end of a tunnel to nowhere. For all that it was not terribly clever, the Minotaur had enough cognitive functionality to bar the frightened boy's only path to freedom.
It raised its hand to strike, and Bell couldn't bear to look at the blow that would snuff out his life. In an instant too small for humans and gods alike to quantify, a golden-clad man rapidly approached the scene. He lapped a blonde-haired, golden-eyed girl countless times over as she attempted to follow the screams, which had grown terrifyingly silent. Her eyes widened as she felt a subtle but powerful shift in the wind, catching the teensiest glimpse of a golden blur and a glowing, neon rainbow Level-99 illuminating the air between her and the blur on their way past her.
Skidding to a stop, Aiz Wallenstein did a double-take as the impossible unfolded before her eyes. The minotaur literally exploded like the legendary Icarus when he plummeted from the sky the second the gilded silhouetted being slammed into it. The blood splatter hit the wall to the side of the terrified boy so precisely that it somehow formed a crimson, triple sideways eight, forever marking the dungeon and sparing the red-eyed greenhorn the bulk of the gore. Bell, having done his best to make peace with his death, slowly realized he wasn't about to be destroyed as he oh-so-hesitantly opened his eyes.
"A diamond in the rough, for sure, but not without potential. How are you faring? Undergoing ego death and making peace with your makers at such a tender age can be so soul-shatteringly prostrating. I do hope I've not given you whiplash with this turbulent seesawing of emotions." The deepest, richest, suavest voice Bell had ever heard in his life spoke from in front of him.
"Who… are you?" Bell dreamily wondered, blown away by the man's impossible gaudiness and dynamism. A part of him felt humiliated, but a much larger part was trying not to develop hero worship towards his unexpected savior.
The man offered him a gentle smile and lowered himself to his level. His intensely brilliant, multicolored eyes almost blinded Bell. Still, somehow, he managed to lock gazes with him even when every instinct in his body screamed at him to look away as soon as possible.
"A friend." He mysteriously responded before adding charmingly. "Well, I hope this experience hasn't put you off dungeon diving. Statistically speaking, it's still the fastest way to make money and gain levels in this world."
Bell nodded like a bobblehead, hanging on his every word as the man turned to go before he suddenly paused a moment and heaved a sigh of exasperation. "Whoops, I almost forgot the contextual social protocol there for a second. Do you need an escort back up to the surface?"
Bell almost said yes, not sure if he'd ever see the mysterious stranger again and wanting to use the extra time together to grill this man for information. However, something told him he'd be seeing him again soon, and so he thought it best to wait and process his feelings. "Thanks for the offer, but I can find my own way back."
The gilded man nodded with satisfaction and vanished in a blur of motion, speedier than anything Bell had ever seen.
"Whoa!" The red-eyed teen gasped in astonishment, his brain taking a few seconds to reboot as he stared vacantly at the spot where his hero stood before he got his bearings and began the short journey back to the surface. He shuddered when he thought of how Eina would react to his current condition and the accompanying story behind it. He almost wished he was dealing with the minotaur again instead. Almost.
XXX
'That encounter proceeded about as seamlessly as I could've hoped. Now, onto phase two.' Zeneptron musingly thought with relief as he raced through the dungeon's upper floors at massively hypersonic velocities, cutting down every monster in his path with the finest precision and high and almightiest unflappability. He moved as a transcendent ghost, the all-powerfullest forces of nature, and every monster was crushed.
His blatant disregard for the Falna and Arcanum power systems that drove the properties of this world enabled him the power to become an adventurer of any level he desired at any time, no matter how game-breaking his stats and abilities would be by this world's standards. His ascension through the Supremest Omnidonae Echelons was a means to an end; leading everyone to the most peerless rainbow's end was his actual higher calling in life. One carefully controlled display of his Level-99 status and subsequent racing off at speeds unlimitedly less than his maximum, and Zeneptron was unsurprised but delighted to see Aiz Wallenstein in hot pursuit, pushing his Tempest Ariel and other power-ups to the limit not to lose sight of him.
Zeneptron only stopped once he'd led her far enough away from her teammates to ensure they would remain unheard for the duration of this conversation. He pushed past his social anxiety to interact with yet another human. "You should be mindful about not letting your lust for power outweigh your common sense. We're far enough away from your teammates that I could cut you down and be on my merry way long before they ever reached you."
Aiz had an answer ready for him. "A Level-99 adventurer could crush every familia in Orario without breaking a sweat. Their presence here would achieve nothing."
Zeneptron grinned in approval. "An astute deduction. For the record, I'm not aiming to destroy or conquer this world. My intentions are strictly honorable. However, I'm not quite ready for the world to know what I am just yet, either, hence the relative privacy of our locale and the inevitable discussion we're having."
Aiz stepped closer to him with none of her usual airheadedness and naivety. She was earnest and dead set on seeing this through. Zeneptron admired the calculating shrewdness she radiated. "And if I were to threaten to expose what I know about you to my Familia?" She challenged, hands folded over her chest and perfect eyebrows raised.
"I have no intention of striking you mute through forceful means. I was hoping I might be able to buy your silence, at least temporarily. I have every intention of revealing my infinite complexities to more people in time, but for now, I'd prefer to keep things close to my chest. The reason I let you see that level meter is because I think we can help each other." Zeneptron broached.
Aiz gave an ever-so-slight upturn of her mouth. "I'm listening."
"I'll train you, give you the perfect wall to throw yourself against for unimaginable gains beyond your wildest dreams. In exchange, you keep whatever I reveal to you in the strictest confidence and become my eyes, ears, and mouthpiece in the lower world. Having someone with your connections to help me get a foothold on the foundations of this reality will help me achieve my objective more fluidly."
Aiz's eyes widened, but she didn't drop her guard just yet. Something else nagged at her. "Define unimaginable gains." She said commandingly, wanting to ensure this partnership was put in the most concrete terms possible.
Zeneptron grinned with absolute confidence, belying his socially awkward character. "I can personally guarantee you'll be Level 15 within just a few short months, and you won't need to rely on Loki to gain those levels for the duration of our interactions. For the record, that's more than powerful enough to destroy the One-Eyed Black Dragon and avenge your parents."
"How do…" Aiz gasped in mind-blanking astonishment.
"I know more than you can ever comprehend," Zeneptron replied with such dead certainty that Aiz believed him intuitively.
"All right. You have a deal. I won't ask the hows and the whys. Thank you for the opportunity, um…"
"Way to steer clear of the gift horse's mouth. You are most welcome, Aiz Wallenstein, and call me Zeneptron."
"So, when do we start?!" Aiz asked with uncharacteristic excitement. In her mind, her child self bounced up and down with glee.
"Tomorrow. For tonight, I have other preoccupations. Have a good night, Aiz. If it's not too presumptuous, this strikes me as the beginnings of a beautiful partnership."
Zeneptron disappeared again, somehow even faster than he had moved before. Aiz knew pursuing him this time would be a fruitless endeavor, and besides that, she got what she wanted for an exceedingly fair price. Zeneptron's conditions for helping her achieve her ultimate goals in life were reasonable, almost to the point of being unconditional, and a part of her worried whether it was too good to be true.
Still, if there were even the iffiest chance he could help her gain the power necessary to destroy that monster beyond monsters, Aiz would've regretted it forever if she failed to seize the opportunity he gave her. Aiz kept her past a secret all these years from her closest friends and allies, and she'd keep his secret, too. The part about being his eyes, ears, mouthpiece, and connection to this world mildly confused her. Still, she'd make it work somehow, even if she silently thought he'd be better off trusting literally anyone else with such a task.
Meanwhile, back on the surface and reappearing on Orario, Zeneptron decided to have his first-ever meal at the Hostess of Fertility, smiling gleefully to himself as everything began falling into place. Before he capped off the night with a feast fit for a king, there was just one more thing he had to do. 'Right on time. You could set your watch by it.' Zeneptron thought as he felt a divine pair of eyes on him, studying him and attempting to see his soul, his Holiest Spirits.
Pausing a moment, Zeneptron spun around sharply and suddenly, smiling all-knowingly at the beautiful girl with bluish-silver hair and eyes who had been watching him in increasing befuddlement. She jolted backward with a start at his unexpected motion, her heart slamming in her ribcage as he spoke, his voice vibrating through her with such resounding penetration that her knees almost gave out.
"Curiosity is not a sin, but you should exercise caution when attempting to do something so intrusive as scrying one's soul. You're lucky I foiled your attempts to view mine because you wouldn't have survived the Heavenliest euphoria seeing them induced you with. Goddess of Love and War or not, your Arcanum is powerless in the face of my Holiest Spirits. Now, perhaps the most important thing I will say to you tonight: can you be my waitress for tonight? I've had something of a busy day, and I'm quite famished, or something akin to it, anyway."
Syr Flover was many things, some of which most humans couldn't begin to imagine, but one thing she wasn't typically was easily rattled. That changed the instant this man called her out on her breach of etiquette. Panicked and frazzled, she couldn't muster the cognizance to deny his terrifying allegations, however valid they might've been. She only had one thing to say to encapsulate the intense, overmastering emotions pervading her entire being.
"WHAT?!"