Chapter Three

Conversations with a Horse

Two Weeks Later...

The Day Before the Operation...

I stroked Dakota's thick, dark mane as she ate from the bucket I had hung from the stall fence. "Good girl." I cooed as I continued to run my fingers through her long locks of hair. She had been my horse for a few years now. I had chosen her from my mother's ranch. Since it was technically what my mother's side of the family did for the military, provide their horses I mean, I was able to get the first pick of the crop when joining the Scouts. It was one of the only things I had asked when I picked the Survey Corps as my permanent duty branch. Even though I knew that I would more than likely never set foot outside the walls, I only wanted the best horse I could get.

Dakota was not only a beautiful horse, but she was strong and she was fast. I had known this pretty brown horse since she was a foal and I had grown pretty attached to her. And she found me pretty interesting too. I wasn't sure why, but I think it had a lot to do with the carrots I carried around in my satchel.

My mother's side of the family was great at selecting the best horses to break in and train for the harsh conditions of the Scouting Legion. And they never disappointed anyone with their results. Our horses were the fastest and strongest amongst the horses out there. I think that's how we established ourselves as nobles. We had been breeding horses for so long that we were a necessity to the cause. My father ran the business now since my mother passed. Of course, he doesn't have the same touch my mother had. And it was really the caretakers and trainers who were the real backbone of the program. My father is just the face of the organization.

I owned eighty percent of the company while my father and husband owned the last twenty percent. It was in my mother's will that my portion would go to any children I had. And if something happened to me, the ownership would automatically fall to the trainers. Even my mother knew how much of a snake my father was. And she predicted he would marry me off to an even bigger serpent than him. I thanked her every day for meeting with her own private lawyers to arrange her will and sort out her assets. If she hadn't, I would have never left my marriage bed alive.

Despite such a small stock in the company, my father and husband were living just fine thanks to the dwindling number of Survey Corps members with every failed operation. In truth, with every flatlined mission, the more money my family's pockets were lined with. And it turned my stomach. I was profiting off the deaths of my fallen comrades. Not only that, but the deaths of the horses whom my mother's workers spent years caring for were also a tragedy in itself. Spending hours with to make sure they were ready for service and companionship. These horses were more than just animals. They were family, they were soldiers. At least in my eyes and in the eyes of the trainers.

I smiled and leaned my head against Dakota's thick neck. "You ready for tomorrow, girl?" I asked, even though I knew I wasn't going to receive an understandable answer. All I heard was the crunch of oats and a grunt or two. Dakota's big black eye looked down at me and blinked. She never went outside the walls either, so it was going to be an experience for the both of us. She was a strong girl. She would keep me safe. Keep me steady. I trusted her with everything I had. Probably trusted her more than most humans. Certainly liked her more too, if I was being completely honest. "Yeah, me too." I replied with a sigh as I stroked the bridge of her nose.

"Do you normally talk to yourself, or should I be concerned? If the pressure has already gotten to your head, you'll be no good to us outside the walls." I heard a deep voice ask. I peeped outside the stall to see a small silhouette approaching with a large black beast beside him. "Cap-Captain Levi?" I stuttered. "You know, horses don't talk back. So it's kind of useless to try to hold a conversation with one. Unless you know something I don't. Do you care to share?" Levi said as he advanced towards the pen that Dakota and I stood in.

He held the reins to his horse loosely, his horse shaking his mane back and forth to swat the flies and gnats from its face. Even though Levi was a little taller than myself, I wanted to chuckle at how massive his beast was compared to him. I held back the giggle, knowing I would A, either solidify his assumption that I had lost my marbles the day before the expedition. Or B, upset him and he'd probably scold me. Either choice wasn't a bright idea at the moment, so I stayed quiet.

Even though Levi held no major rank in the Survey Corps, Commander Erwin allowed him to run freely and dictate his own path. His credibility among the military allowed him that privilege. How could such a small man cast such a large and controlling shadow? Levi had been enlisted in the Scouts for about five years now, and he had already made quite the name for himself. But no matter how big his distinction became, Levi still had that cold exterior to him. He didn't seem to warm up to anyone, except for maybe Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hange. And even those two seemed to have trouble talking to him sometimes. Even his own squad seemed to be held at a distance.

"I'm well aware that horses don't talk, sir." I answered. "Nothing wrong with talking to your horse. It's a sign of trust. Not to mention it keeps your horse calm. I would think as a veteran horse rider, you would know that." I continued. "No reason for the attitude, Lewis." "I wasn't giving one, sir. This is just how I talk." "I doubt that. You seemed pretty timid when you were in Erwin's office. I see you grew some balls since we last saw each other. Glad to see Hilton gave them back to you. And just in time for the expedition." I glared. "Hilton never took them. I just know when I should show respect and when I should push back on someone who hasn't earned it yet."

"Oh, I see. Are you saying I haven't earned your respect yet? Didn't know that I had to earn the respect of brats nowadays." Levi said, his eyebrows raising and his voice pitching. "Just because someone earns a rank doesn't mean they automatically earn the perks of that rank, sir. I'm sure you can agree with that sentiment." I replied. "Heh, now I see what Oruo meant about you having a shitty attitude. And here I thought he was just being soft." "I don't know what you're talking about, sir. I simply acted accordingly to one of your soldiers trying to police me in my warehouse when he wasn't up to par by standard regulations that were taught in the Cadet Corps." I bit back. This guy has the nerve! "Tch." Levi dropped the reins of his horse and walked up to the gate of the pen. I stood my ground and matched his stance. I don't care who he thinks he is! Captain or not! I'm still a soldier! I earned my place here!

"You know, the one thing I hate more than dealing with rookies is shitty soldiers who don't know their place in the ranks." Levi said as he leaned on the metal gate. His dark blue eyes menacingly bore into mine. I scowled at his tone of voice. "It's quite clear that your present leadership has never taught you to respect the ranks. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll open your eyes pretty quickly in the next few days on how the Survey Corps really operates. That's if you survive the operation tomorrow. This 'contract' of yours, whatever it entails, has allowed you to do whatever you want whenever you want with no consequence. And I'm not one for allowing soldiers to try and disrupt the way of things. I suggest you start paying attention and getting your shit together." Levi continued.

"Captain." I began. "Whatever your feelings are towards me and my contract, that has nothing to do with me. That's your personal business. What is my business is when your squad thinks it's okay to come into my place of work and try to tell me how to be a soldier. Maybe you should begin policing your own squad on manners before coming at me. As for my personal business concerning the terms of my contract, that's between me and the Commander. Any other performance reviews can be left up to my chain of command, which last time I checked, you are not a part of. So you can save your threats. You're not intimidating to me. I am not part of your squad, nor do I ever intend to be."

I hope I had put on a good poker face because Levi was indeed intimidating, even if I didn't want to admit it. I think I had convinced him though, considering I didn't stutter or back down from him. Levi's chest was mere inches from mine, and I could feel the exhale of his breath on my face. His cobalt eyes thinned and his brows furrowed at my words, in anger or annoyance I wasn't sure. Maybe it was both. Either way, it was bad. He sure didn't like what I had to say in response. I'm sure he didn't get many people, if any at all, who stood up to his authority.

Levi stayed in silence for a few moments, analyzing my words. His eyes stared into mine, almost as if he was trying to calculate what to say next. What is he thinking? Levi isn't the type of guy to give up without a fight... "Tch." Levi clicked his tongue, taking a step back from in the pen. "Hilton was right. You are a pain in the ass." Levi said at last as he grabbed his horse's reins. I stood there, dumbfounded. That's it? That's all he has to say?

"Stubbornness and ego gets soldiers killed out in Titan territory. Remember that. You won't help anyone with that attitude. I won't risk any lives out there on your account. So you better straighten out your personal shit before then. If not, I will recommend your separation from the Scouts." Levi said before looking back at me. "Regardless if you're a temporary member of the Special Operations Squad or not, I'm a pretty good judge of character. And from what I just learned about you in the span of three minutes, you have the mentality of a child throwing a temper tantrum." I hissed at his words. "Even if what Erwin says is true and you were one of the top few of your Cadet Corps class, your convictions alone are enough to keep you behind the walls. You are the type of person that would cause people to lose their lives because you think you are more important than the main objective of the mission."

"If you made your final assessment on my character simply on insulting me and then judging my reaction, your people skills and judgement of good character really need work. I don't take kindly to those who disrespect me, Captain. As I'm sure you don't take disrespect lightly either." I replied. "How about we agree to stay out of each other's way? It's clear that we do not get along. You stay in your lane, and I'll stay in mine." Levi began to walk away. "There are no lanes here in the Scouts, Lewis. We work as a team. If you haven't figured that out by now, you're in the wrong branch. Save yourself the trouble and learn to fall in line. Or join the Military Police. I'm sure they have plenty of slots open for 'pick-me' people. You'll fit in fine there, especially with the Brass. They prefer soldiers like you." Levi called over his shoulder.

He walked down the walkway towards the end of the barn, the clicking of his horse's hooves against the cement faded with every passing step. "Dammit, Abby. You and your fat mouth." I sat out loud as I leaned against the gate. "I should have just stuck my foot in my mouth." Dakota neighed as she nudged my shoulder with her nose. I smiled small and scratched the top of her head and behind her ears. "I know, I know. I'm dumb. You don't have to tell me twice." I cooed to her. Dammit. Why did I have to go and mouth off? It's not like I didn't know who he was. But I'm not one to take lip from anyone. Except...

I growled to myself as I leaned against the pen's wooden wall and slid down, landing on the soft, padded hay. I rested my head against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. It was only mid-afternoon. Everything was ready for tomorrow morning. The warehouse was completely stocked and organized. The Scouts were ready. The Fifty-third Expedition was about to take place, and my mental state was beyond screwed up. And now, I had to go and make it hundred times worse. If Captain Levi actually knew me, he wouldn't be so quick to assume...Dakota's head gently nudged against mine once more, followed by a grunt. I chuckled and stroked her mane. "I know, girl. I know. I need to stay focused. We'll be okay. I need to get my head in the game for tomorrow. Thanks for keeping me in line, Dakota."