Full title is "You make them think they ever stood a chance". No musical this time, this is from Devil Devil by MILCK.
"Thank you for agreeing to this, I hope it wasn't too inconvenient to leave home alone." The woman that greeted Hachiman once he entered the (admittedly nice) restaurant might've been around Hiratsuka-sensei's age, and was as much of a looker in her light blue frilled blouse and light-colored pencil skirt.
Hachiman couldn't see the color well due to the light, and he couldn't keep staring without looking like a creep either; so he quickly led his eyes back to the woman's face.
"It's fine, the doctor recommended some light exercise anyway." He hadn't expected that much formality, given that the final message he got told him he didn't need to go fully dressed up. So he just threw on a button up shirt and the lower half of his old Sobu high uniform. Formal enough that he only got one strange look from the guy letting people in, but still looking kind of cheap compared to everyone else.
He was used to being the weird one standing out however, so he simply let himself onto the fancy chair the woman motioned to and found a comfortable position where his belly didn't feel funny.
"Please don't tell me you came all the way here walking. We did agree on a location that'd be convenient to you, but I don't recall any neighborhoods around." The woman looked more annoyed than concerned, but Hachiman suspected this was out of habit rather than malice. That lecturing tone really fit someone that was called the "right hand" of the man behind Strawberry Productions.
"No, of course not." Hachiman scoffed "I wouldn't do that even if I wasn't stitched up."
"Well, it's your own health." The woman sighed "Saitou Miyako, by the way."
"You're that man's wife?" Hachiman guessed she already knew more than just his name, so he didn't bother with the introduction.
"Yeah, yeah." That didn't sound like the voice of a happily married woman however "You're too young to be asking with that tone though."
Does everyone in that company say weird shit all the time? The idol, Hachiman could sort of understand. But even the staff?
Like, okay. She's a looker. But that doesn't mean that Hachiman lacks common sense.
"I'm sorry you think I'd ogle you." Hachiman closed his eyes, feeling a pang of discomfort that had nothing to do with his physical health.
"Very funny, have you considered a career in stand up?"
"I don't think most people have the intellect to understand my sense of humor." Hachiman opened his eyes again. Saitou-san was shaking her head with an amused smile.
"That's the funniest way someone can single themselves out as a loser." Her words didn't cut that deep, to be honest. Being forced to involve himself even more in all of this had already soured his mood, so his defenses were strong to be able to go through this meeting without losing his mind.
"That's a very convenient label to tag me with." Hachiman put his elbow on the table, and his cheek on top of his hand "Isn't it?"
"Oh, extremely. You're making my job a lot easier by confirming it's easy to spin your image around with ease." Saitou-san chuckled "That's a relief. I imagined your attitude would be bad, but I'm too used to big egos and blowback to have imagined you'd be like this."
"I'm not the one insulting you though." Hachiman pointed out with a deadpan.
"Right off the bat you were disrespectful in the way you referred to Ichigo, asked about my status in a very "you're too good for him" tone, and managed to insinuate I'm not attractive and… Oh, that the public is stupid." Saitou-san pointed a finger at Hachiman's nose "Forgive me for the bluntness, but in my line of work these mistakes are a clear sign of a persona non grata in any form of entertainment."
To her credit, she gave him a passable enough excuse. But it still didn't move him nor did it change the way she approached him.
"When was the last time you unwinded, Saitou-san?" Hachiman crossed his arms.
"Not your business." The woman chuckled to herself "Now then, shall we tackle the main topic?"
"Sure. I can't really eat anything from the menu anyway."
"Not yet?" She looked actually surprised, although not entirely interested in his well-being.
"Soon." He replied without much care.
The least he revealed about himself, the better. Even if these people had likely already investigated him.
"I guess I know why Ichigo agreed to pay for whatever you order now." Saitou-san nodded to herself.
"Oh, he also has a sense of humor."
"It's doing things with style, Hikigaya. I don't know if you've heard of the term."
"I think telling people to piss off in no uncertain terms is more satisfying." Hachiman shrugged as the woman smiled at him. Mocking wasn't the right word, it felt more like she was trying to keep things civil. Which told Hachiman that they should indeed move on from their personal feelings.
Still, he couldn't just let this woman walk all over him. He at least had to put up a token effort to defend himself.
"Jeez, what even is Ai's obsession with you?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me." Hachiman clicked his tongue "This feels ripped off straight out of a shitty slice of life manga."
"Did you threaten her somehow?" Saitou-san ignored the comment while asking.
"Oh, yeah. Totally." Hachiman rolled his eyes "I waited until she showed up to take a picture of her to prove it's her, then asked for favors. Get real, Saitou-san."
The woman caressed her chin, surprised.
"You're really terrible for this. If I was recording you, what would you have done? It'd be game over for you."
"I don't have to fear public exposure." Hachiman growled "I don't exactly have an image to maintain."
"And your friends and family?"
"Anyone worth my time knows me well." Hachiman shrugged.
"And college?"
"I've always been very enthusiastic about not having to study or work."
"That's not…" Saitou-san chuckled "Okay. That's not a real thing that can happen, but okay."
Hachiman chuckled too. He hadn't actually thought deeply about his answer, but it felt good that he wasn't shot down harshly for once.
"So, your star. I guessed you'd come up with a proposition." Hachiman drew circles around the empty plate that the table had in front of him. This place was expensive enough that even the forks and knives had some designs on their handles. So he studied them to distract himself.
"Yes, of course." the woman looked away.
Hachiman's frown deepened.
"What is it?"
"Don't laugh." Saitou-san gave him a moment to brace himself "We think it's for the best if you humor her until she grows bored of you."
"Bullshit." Hachiman stated immediately.
"Ichigo's idea, not mine." The woman sighed "Look, we…"
A waitress came to take their orders, making them both fall into an awkward silence that Saitou-san filled by ordering something she'd already seen. Hachiman asked for a lemonade, the most expensive glass he'd ever ordered, and they sort of fell silent again until the waitress had left.
"Why?" Hachiman hissed after he was done getting mad in silence.
"You want to put this all behind for obvious reasons." Saitou-san spoke slowly, more tenderly. Like Hachiman was a kid "And we think Ai wants the opposite because she wants the same thing. And it might even be better for you too."
"How does getting involved with any of you is good for me?"
"I won't pretend to be a psychologist. But I think it can help you both heal." Saitou–san scratched the left side of her nose nervously "Unless, of course, you get a nervous reaction from just seeing her. But I don't think that's the case."
"You're just asking for more trouble." Hachiman bit back what he actually wanted to say, calling them out on not actually caring about what he wanted. Instead, he gave it the spin a company would understand.
Risk.
"Let the adults worry about that." Saitou-san waved him off "Concentrate on healing your heart."
"My heart is fine." His heart had never been fine.
"Sure, but Ai's is not. And, if you don't feel like facing your actions, then all I can ask from you is to cooperate in helping us heal her instead."
Hachiman narrowed his eyes.
"You make it sound like I did something wrong."
"You did something impactful enough that our precious maiden-hearted Ai can't forget about you." Saitou-san almost made it sound convincing, if it wasn't for her amused expression "We're really grateful for that and want nothing but her well-being, so that's how it is."
Right. They cared so much about her that they put her to work immediately after almost getting killed. It read to Hachiman like they didn't know what to do. Perhaps she'd been more hurt than he expected, more than she let it show when they met.
He thought back about the carefree way she talked about her stalker. The apparently unaffected way she informed Hachiman he'd passed away. And now this woman wanted him to believe that she'd been affected beyond their ability to handle? How did that…?
He wanted to hit the table immediately.
"What do you want me to do?" His voice came out raspy, filled with a newfound heat.
How could he have been so blind?
"You can at least try to pretend to agree on good terms." The woman lifted an eyebrow.
"I'm angry at myself, shut up." He wanted to understand. To know, to see the truth. Yet, when presented with it, he willingly looked away in fear.
How did he not realize that he'd met a girl doing her best to appear brave?
"If you say so." Saitou-san brought up her phone "I'll give you Ai's number. Is it okay with you to send her a text first? Her schedule is still packed, and we're not about to take you out of your ordinary life."
"..." Hachiman sighed, letting some of the heat out as he drove his arm to his pocket "Fine. I'll…"
The phone rang, making his heart stop for a moment.
"Ummm…"
He hadn't told anyone he'd go out. He should be resting, after all. And not even Komachi really knew why he'd been attacked or that Ai had gone to see him twice already. As far as anyone was concerned, he'd been looking for Yukino when he got wind that she'd been back in Japan and luck had shown him its back that day. So if someone came back and didn't see him there…
The number was unknown.
"Did you already have my…?"
"No way. We wouldn't breach your privacy like that." Saitou-san sounded half offended and half worried "Who is it?"
"I don't know." Hachiman didn't want to answer, something in his bones told him to just let it ring. Pretend he didn't hear it.
The phone stopped vibrating.
"Well, you might have more life than I gave you credit for." Saitou-san looked somewhat surprised, then looked at Hachiman's face "Something wrong?"
"No. I just didn't tell anyone I'd be out." Hachiman sighed "I hoped we'd be done soon enough."
"Well, our orders aren't even here. So how about we exchange numbers and get you a taxi?" Saitou-san continued fiddling with her phone "Again, we don't want to impact your life negatively. We're strictly looking out for Ai's well-being."
"Yeah, yeah. I get it. So…" His phone started ringing again.
Saitou-san looked at him weirdly.
"Answer." She told him.
"I don't want to."
"C'mon, it can't be that bad. I'll help you explain things if need be." The woman said with more encouragement than Hachiman would've imagined "You don't get scam calls or death threats, you're not famous enough."
Hachiman made a face and answered.
"Who is it?"
"Guess who~?" A voice that chilled him to the core replied.
Hachiman hung up immediately.
Saitou-san moved her palms to face up like she was asking "what was that about?".
"You jinxed me." Hachiman said breathlessly "I…"
"You know." A feminine voice interrupted him from behind. Amused, cold "It's rude to cut off a lady when they go out of their way to talk to you."
If he'd screamed like a little girl, he wouldn't even have felt embarrassed about it.
"Haruno-san." Hachiman's mouth twitched as he turned around to greet the young woman in front of him.
Her hair had the same cut as he remembered, just a little longer. And she wore a blouse and skirt less formal than what Saitou-san had. More like Hachiman himself wore, a bit casual even.
"Hello, hello. It's been a bit, huh." Her smile was pleasant enough, but Hachiman had the feeling that nothing was behind it. She didn't put the extra cheer, or obvious ominous aura. She was just… There.
His heart calmed down when it clicked that she wasn't actually interested in him.
"Family?" Saitou-san asked when Haruno's attention went to her.
"Eh, never formalized." Haruno's comment felt like a barb hitting Hachiman's ribs "Right now we just know each other."
"I see…" Saitou-san nodded even though she obviously didn't know what to think about that "Hoshino. It's a pleasure."
"Yukinoshita." Haruno reached out to give the adult a handshake, then returned her attention to Hachiman "What brings you here? Isn't she a little out of your league?"
"She's actually my sugar mama." Hachiman stated solemnly now that some of his panic had receded "You think I have money to pay for this?"
"Excuse you?!"
Haruno's smile became filled with genuine amusement.
"Wow, okay. You always punch above your league, huh." Again, Haruno chose to hurt him a little bit. But Hachiman refused to back down.
"If it works, it's not out of my league." He shrugged "What are you doing here? Hiratsuka… San told me you'd be in Tokyo. That's why I felt safe coming here."
"Pfff, Shizuka-chan said so? Okay, yeah. I might've let that slip." Haruno pointed with her head to a table further into the restaurant "I had some trouble and came here with some work "friends". You know how it is."
"Not really, no." Hachiman did as Haruno and completely ignored Saitou-san's reaction. For her own good "Did you witchcraft get interrupted or…?"
"Well, you joke. But a dumb bird stole my phone." Haruno showed the screen of the device, cracked on one side like it'd been dropped "I got it around the block, so we had to cut our losses."
"All the way from Tokyo?" Hachiman wanted to call bullshit, but that was too big a lie even for Haruno.
"No, silly. I was never in Tokyo. I lied about that." Haruno sighed "What? Got your hopes up?"
Now that? That did pierce through his defenses.
"..." He looked down without meaning to, feeling dumb and ridiculous for believing "A bit."
It got a chuckle out of Haruno.
"You're still so innocent." Haruno put a hand on his shoulder "But I don't hate that from you. It's entertaining."
She looked at the woman and then at Hachiman, apparently satisfied with getting a laugh at his expense.
"I'll leave you to your little date, don't want to screw things for you." Her last smile felt a lot colder than the rest "You're adept at doing that yourself."
…
"..."
"..."
…
"...Are you alright?" Saitou-san finally asked after what could've been just a minute or a dozen.
Hachiman considered just shrugging her off.
"No." He admitted with a sigh "I need to hide in bed for an hour or 3 days."
"I see…" She looked away, probably toward where Haruno went "Bad blood between you?"
"She's the devil." Hachiman hissed. If something good came from losing contact with those girls that he considered his best friends, it was also losing contact with Haruno. But it looked like the universe just couldn't give him a break.
Saitou-san still didn't know how to react.
"She's not blowing your little joke out of proportion, right?" So instead, she chose to safeguard what she knew was important: Her image.
Hachiman couldn't help the glare that he gave her.
"I'm not stupid enough to say something like that to someone that can't take it."
"I don't know, you're awful at communicating things." The woman rested her chin on her hand.
Hachiman didn't disagree, but there was no need to point it out.
"The number?"
"Right." The woman seemed to agree to simply turn the page "We'll be in your care, Hikigaya."
"Don't worry." Hachiman stared at the devices with a heavy heart "I'm not a very interesting guy."
Saitou-san looked at him, then away. Again, probably where Haruno was.
"If you say so."