Author's Notes

Warning: Mercury will be a dick. Some offensive language in this chapter.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!

Chapter 28 – Ruby's Eleven Part 1

Dramatis Personae – Heist Perps

1) Ruby – the mastermind

2) Watts – tech support

3) Tyrian – getaway driver

4) Hazel – the muscle

5) Emerald – master of disguise

6) Mercury – straight man

7) Neopolitan – also master of disguise

8) Lionheart – inside man

9) The Nuckelavee – getaway vehicle

10) The Hound – special operations

11) Grubbie – Grubbie

Ruby and her team (at least, the human and Faunus ones) sipped their drinks at the Argusian cafe as Dr. Watts gave them a rundown of the security features of the Ultramarine Base. Ruby herself had already heard all of this, but it was essential for the rest of the team to get a good idea of the con before they went in. Her plan was foolproof, but it didn't hurt to best prepare one's entire heist team for improvisation in case it came to it.

"…can disable the cameras remotely, but only for a brief period of time, approximately one hour, two maximum. However, I will be disabling the cameras, not bypassing them. Thus, the guards watching the feeds shall be made aware of your presence."

"Then why even bother?" Mercury said dismissively. "If they're gonna know we're there one way or another, let's just save time and fight our way through."

"I shall bother, Mr. Black, because it makes the difference between the guards knowing that someone is attempting to enter their facilities and seeing exactly where that someone is and who is among said someone's party."

The one problem with Ruby's eleven was that most members of the eleven didn't really seem to get along with each other.

Mercury rubbed everyone the wrong way, but his insistence on getting in the last word frequently clashed with Watts' insistence on getting the last-er word. Their personalities, while identical in every way that mattered, meshed together as well as peanut butter and salt-water clams.

For another thing, Tyrian's manic gazing was mistaken by Neo for being something with a lustful nature, and his repeated protests that it was entirely murderous and not at all lecherous fell on deaf ears (mainly because it wasn't comprehensible to the rational mind). It had been a nightmare even extracting from Neo why she had gotten mad at him, given her dumbness.

Also, Neo also hated Ruby for referring to her muteness as dumbness.

Emerald also hated Mercury, despite being partners. He kept making homophobic comments about her, and Ruby didn't feel comfortable mediating the dispute because she wasn't sure if Emerald really was gay or if Mercury was just trying to get under her skin.

Hazel seemed to not be interested in being friends with anyone, which was par the course with his typical asocial personality, but Neo seemed to have an immense dislike of him solely based on their insurmountable height difference (he was about twice as tall as her) and was perpetually trying to get a rise out of him.

Mercury's metal legs were too shiny and kept distracting Tyrian, who had the attention span of a three-year-old.

Much like Neo and Tyrian, Watts' staring at Emerald was offensive to her, although in this case he really was just perving out and staring at her boobies. Ruby had been forced to sit them on opposite sides of the room during Watts' briefing on security to prevent him from making it weird.

Neo and Mercury also despised one another, but Ruby couldn't for the life of her figure out why. Maybe it was just because he was Mercury? That was a pretty good reason to hate someone.

Oh, and also Ruby Rose had an immense and spectacular desire to murder each and every one of them for knowingly siding with the Grimm and being willing to to kill innocent people.

"Let's try to stay on task," Ruby said, cutting off Mercury before he could bother Watts further. "When the cameras are down, what other defenses can we expect? Both on the way to where they store the catalysts and throughout the rest of the base."

Watts nodded and answered. For all that he was a bit of a prick, he could be professional when the situation demanded it. Ruby suspected Salem had had words with him before assigning this mission to Ruby.

"The base has a contingent of three hundred heavily armed Atlesian shock troops, as well as many automated robotic defenses. I can disable the latter remotely, but it shall be up to you to deal with the former. All entryways require keycard with specialized magnetized strips that allow entrance."

"Can you forge any for us?" asked Emerald, crossing her arms to cover her bosoms as Watts' attention fell on her. Seriously, if she was so upset about it, Ruby could lend her a sweater…

"I took the liberty of preparing one in advance. However, given our timeframe as outlined by Miss Rose…" He nodded at her. "…I shall only have time to produce two more."

Tyrian gently raised his hand. "Est-ce qu'ils ont des chevaux ? J'ai peur de la cavalerie."

Watts shook his head. "None to speak of. I should point out that the catalysts themselves are contained within a vault of extreme durability and constitution, one which I cannot circumvent. It required a combination known only to the bases' commander and three researchers, as well as a handprint and retinal scan."

"Emerald can deal with that," Mercury said. "Her semblance can –"

"Don't volunteer me for things I can't do, you asshole," Emerald said, slapping the back of her hand against Mercury's upper arm. "My semblance only works on people, and you know that."

"This vault," Ruby said, ignoring the squabbling kids. "You say it's really durable, but so is Hazel with his beefy arms and generally muscled form. If he just, you know, punched it, would that work?"

Watts balked. "I…what…how could…there has to be…surely a more refined solution can be…"

"Je pense que c'est un oui," Tyrian offered with a wry grin.

Ruby smirked. So did she.

Compartmentalization was an important part of Ruby's eleven. If any one member of the squad was captured by the enemy or compromised, it wouldn't do for them to leak proprietary secrets when subjected to torture. Thus, Ruby informed each member of the squad of their own tasks but no others'.

The Nuckelavee, which creeped the living fuck out of Ruby, was the getaway vehicle. Ruby had hooked up a cart to its back, told it to hide nearby in the forest just outside the eastern wall of the laboratory, and desperately tried not to make direct eye contact with it. Watts had explained that the catalysts themselves were actually quite large. Each capsule was about the size of a golden retriever and weighed 250-300 pounds, meaning that carrying them out of there while presumably being chased by the Atlesian military would require some serious horsepower. Thus, Ruby assigned that job to their powerful horse.

Tyrian was the getaway driver, because Ruby didn't trust him to not start randomly killing people once they were inside the base. One of Ruby's main priorities was not revealing the existence of Salem to Atlas (both for Salem's sake and Atlas').

Watts was going to be doing his tech stuff like hacking and printing out the fake keycards from the hotel room he'd rented in Argus. Ruby had wanted him to do it at an internet café while wearing a hoodie and shades because that was how the movies showed hackers, but he'd insisted that his choice of venue was just as practical.

Everyone else was going in.

Grubbie was small enough to avoid detection when he crawled along the ceiling without tripping any alarms, allowing Ruby to determine the best blind spot in the guard patrols after two nights of beetlewalking. At precisely 5:43am in the morning, there was a short period in which the rear entrance of the base, used for deliveries, was unprotected. Just like her last run in with Atlas, Ruby would be taking full advantage of Atlas' supply lines, though she wouldn't be exploding them this time around.

Watts had only been able to make the three security credentials that would get them through the door, but if the guards saw a random person walk up from the outside world and enter the base, they would know something was up. Thus, Ruby ordered Neo and Mercury to sneak in during the lapse in security. As long as Neo got inside without issue, she could use her illusions to mask her presence and make herself appear to be someone who was meant to be there.

The two of them entered without issue, and then came the tough part.

Mercury hated Little Red. He hated her stupid plan, he hated her childish antics, he hated her number eleven fetish, he hated his role in it all, and he above all hated her mentally retarded face. Every part of him wanted to tell her to fuck off, cut off her own legs, and be the one to hide inside Neo's stupid cart instead of him.

But he knew better.

For all that he pushed the boundaries of Cinder's patience, he knew that she was better than him. A better fighter, a better thinker, a better killer. And one day, Cinder had come back to Beacon in Ruby's arms missing an eye and trembling like a newborn. The two of them had left in one of Torchwick's airship again, and when Cinder returned the second time, she looked like shit and politely informed him and Emerald that Ruby was now in charge, and they all worked for her.

Naturally, Mercury had tested the waters by attempting to smother Cinder with a pillow two days later. She had clearly lost her game if the baby-faced red tyke of all people usurped her, and he had no intention of obeying someone who'd lost their game.

Mercury balled up his mechanical hand into a mechanical fist beneath the glove that obscured it.

He now knew better.

It was because Little Red had put the fear of the God of Darkness into a still fully armed and operational Cinder Fall that he obeyed without question, even if his mind rebelled against the stupidity of her plan. Seriously, a million little things could go wrong, and she was pretty much just hoping that none of them did.

Even though Neo was the shortstack, Mercury was actually smaller than her when he removed Talaria, and so he was forced to be the one in the janitorial cart that Roman's little monster pushed along. Tyrian had somehow procured them one of the carts, but it was quite small (presumably because Atlas didn't want people to hide inside them and enter the base unannounced). Mercury had to curl up into an uncomfortable little ball covered in dirty towels and sweaty uniforms (again, stolen by the scorpion Faunus).

It was uncomfortable on a visceral level to be without Talaria. Not only did it mean he was entirely deprived of weaponry, but it was also the first time in many years that he'd truly been without legs. When his father had so critically damaged his flesh ones that he'd been forced to acquire a replacement, he'd gone under from anesthesia during the procedure and awoken to a metal pair that had realistic nerve endings. It was a bizarre feeling, but one he could live with.

Now, for the first time, he was truly a stump boy. It sucked, and it was all Ruby Rose's fault.

And yet, Mercury couldn't have his vengeance. Vengeance was for the privileged, those who could hurt the people who'd hurt them and get away with it. Mercury had learned the hard way that he tended to lose limbs when he tried.

Mercury heard people greet Neo as she strolled through the base while pushing the full trolley along. She didn't respond, but she must've given satisfying nonverbal responses, because at no point did their little chariot of victory get stopped by anyone.

This plan…it was actually…functional, to say the best, albeit slightly movie-inspired. Mercury's only job was to remain silent and let Neo do all of the work until they arrived at a specific vent. The vent was for exhausting hot air from a computer room that required extreme cooling to operate the big rigs of machines that did experimental modeling for the Atlesian's science fair project, and thus it was just big enough for a person to crawl through. No one in their right mind would crawl through it, though, as the hot air alone would cause third degree burns – unless you had aura.

Neo stopped at the vent, and Mercury could hear swaths of people walking by. This was the reason he'd had to travel by laundry cart – if Neo tried to crawl into the vent, she'd be seen. However, the laundry cart had been modified to have a small opening on the underside. The last thing she did before twiddling her thumbs was reach her hand into the cart and touch Mercury, weaving an illusion around him.

Mercury peeled open the Velcro and fell to the floor, obscured from view by the cart above him as he got to work unscrewing the vent. He could imagine Neo pretending to whistle as kept a lookout.

The grate popped off, and Mercury stashed his screwdriver. Speed was of the essence here, for the longer he 'screwed around,' the more chance there was of someone stopping to have a conversation with Neo. Crawling through, he pulled the grate back up behind him and made his way through. The vent wasn't sealed, but unless someone checked it carefully, it was highly unlikely that there was any real risk. After all, who went around checking if random vents were firmly screwed on?

The swelteringly hot air might've scorched the skin of a normie, but Mercury was a professional assassin, and he was nearly immune to it. Sure, he did sweat through the illusion Neo had put on him, but it held and so did his aura.

This goddamned plan…I should've bailed when Cinder came back. There's no way Ruby Rose is fit to lead us all.

The most painstaking part of it all was that he had to pull himself through the tightly enclosed space with nothing but his hands. The walls of the vent were smooth, so he had nothing to grip. Instead, all he could do was press his hands against the edges and drag himself along, inch by inch.

At long last, he found himself in his desired destination: the computer room. The scientist fag had explained to him just what the deal was. Apparently, since this lab was supposed to be one of Atlas' best, they had one of the largest computer installations in the world. Lots of computers meant lots of heat, hence the vent (which was actually one of many).

In the belly of the beast, it was actually a lot hotter – so hot, in fact, that Mercury's fingertips started to hurt as he pushed out on the grate. Since he was on the inside here, there was no way he could unscrew it, but no one was watching, so forcing it open was an option.

Once he'd broken through, Mercury dragged himself through the opening and into the room. It was long, probably at least a hundred feet, and just as wide, with tall rigs of computers connected by black wires and thick white cables. Mercury might've been impressed by the sheer size of it if he cared about that sort of thing. Plus, it wasn't going to be very impressive in a few minutes when he was through with it.

Neo smiled as the fire alarm went off just a few minutes after she'd dropped Mercury off at the vent thing. Red had found it using some sort of robotic beetle drone that Neo still didn't fully understand, but she was loving this whole thing.

There was so much fun to be had! The Atlesian, her second least favorite ethnicity just behind the Faunus, were getting utterly trolled. Neo was just waltzing about their highly secure base and looking at all the top-secret research projects on display as though she were perusing a department store. Everyone here assumed that their techno-security was top notch, so no one questioned her in spite of the fact that she had no business being there.

Roman had hinted at there being higher powers behind Cinder, and Neo was slowly discovering the joys of working with them. The pervert tech guy, Watts, was certainly good at his job if he could 3D-print the keycard that gave her access to this place.

Hazel joined her shortly, just on schedule. The goal was to rob the vault and steal Red's precious capsules, and the biggest hurdle was getting their biggest guy in front of the vault. Even if Neo had managed to disguise him as a guard, his physique was too memorable to blend in, and his face was known to the world as a famous criminal. Thus, the crux of Red's plan was ensuring there was no one who could see him when he entered using the second fake key card.

That might've been a problem normally, but it was standard Atlesian military protocol to evacuate a base when the fire alarm went off. Starting a fire was easy – Atlas, like the fools they were, had set up a large server farm smack dab in the middle of their base, so all Mercury had to do was slightly sabotage it, and boom! Flames aplenty, and it would take them at least twenty minutes to ensure the safety of all personnel, take charge of the situation, and organize a firefighting force according to Watts' projections.

Every soldier that might've seen Hazel was now outside, being counted by the incident commander to make sure no one was trapped inside. Thus, Neo and Hazel faced no resistance as they strolled through. No words were spoken between the two of them, so the only sound was the shrill ringing of the fire alarm.

All in all, this was going to be an easy heist. Their 'mastermind,' Ruby Rose, wasn't even going to be participating.

Honestly, her plan was shit. She'd recruited seven people and two Grimm to do the work for her, but she'd really only needed Neo, Merc, and Hazel. Maybe just Neo and Hazel, if they'd been on a budget. Well, the tech guy and his keycards were important too, but only two to three people had been needed to actually infiltrate the base.

After a short walk, she and Hazel found themselves at the location of the vault. It wasn't accessible from the hallway, but Neo's keycard granted her entry into the room from which it was.

The vault itself was just a door. A thick metal door, with tons of security features and techno-wiz gadgets to keep it closed, but a door nonetheless. Neo had half a mind to abandon the plan and see if she could crack it open herself with her lockpicks, just for the thrill of it.

Before she could, a big hand brushed her aside. Hazel walked right past her and cracked his knuckles.

"Time to get to work."

Well, Neo might actually get to try out her lockpicks after all, because after five minutes of boxing the vault like a jackass, Hazel was no closer to opening it than when he'd started.

"It's more durable than I'd expected. Perhaps Arthur was correct in his initial assessment that we would not be able to force it open."

Neo's head rolled back as she lay flat on the floor. The access room was entirely devoid of chairs or any furniture at all, meaning that in order to properly relax, Neo was forced to do her best impression of a candy wrapper that had been dropped on the floor and stepped on.

The rhythmic punches clanging into the metal door was starting to give Neo a headache, if the boredom hadn't already caused one. Seriously, Red had put literally zero effort into planning this whole thing. They hadn't even really needed to sneak Mercury in, and Neo had absolutely zero clue why Ruby had forced her to give him a disguise before he'd left.

And now her ears were starting to ring. The fire alarm screeching like a banshee wasn't helping.

Why can't someone just turn off that damn alarm?!

Neo breathed in deeply, and to her amazement, the fire alarm actually went out.

Thank the gods.

Wait…

Neo checked her scroll. It had only been five minutes…make that six. How had Atlas put out the fires so quickly?

The door behind them whooshed open, and in walked a small group of people wearing the trademark white, red, and navy-blue uniforms of Atlesian specialists.

"…can see, Clover, there is no –"

The white-haired woman cut off her sentence mid-though, looking at Neo hastily scrambling to pick herself up off the floor. Neo was lucky that she'd had the forethought to mask herself and Hazel as uniformed soldiers, but she was still in a rather compromising position, and the easily recognized Atlesian woman's hands slowly moved to rest on her sabers.

"Soldiers," said Winter Schnee, her eyes narrowed. "Why haven't you evacuated?"

Coming Soon – Ruby's Eleven Part 2

And now, some tips from Ruby:

Ruby's Tip #500 – Running out of jokes? Just repeat the ones you've already told.

Ruby's Tip #389 – Is your ice cream too cold to scoop after coming out of the freezer? Leave it out when you leave for work for a perfectly temperate treat when you get back home!

Ruby's Tip #843 – Instead of throwing away a banana peel into the trash can, put it in the recycling bin. Remember kids, we only have one Remnant, and it's up to us to take care of her.

Ruby's Note – Also, be sure to compost your aluminum soda cans.

Author's Notes

Gotta be some of my favorite tips here. Number 500 was among the first few I wrote.

How will our heroes get out of this one? And how will we reconcile the fact that 'heroes' somehow refers to Neo and Hazel even though they're both evil?

We've checked in with Neo and Merc, but almost all of the eleven will be getting their own personal thoughts and takes on Ruby exposed (except for the nonsapient ones like the Grimm and Tyrian). Most are next chapter, and Part 3 will be Ruby herself, back to basics.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!