Song: i hate u, i love u

By: gnash

Feeling used

But I'm

Still missing you

And I can't

See the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss

Against my lips

(Lloyd)

Even though you used me I still care about you. And even though I know I shouldn't, I still want to kiss you, hold you, be with you.

And now all this time

Is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

(Lloyd)

It's been so long now, but it still hurts when I see you. I need you. But you don't need me.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

(Lloyd)

Back and forth. Loving and hating. You still make me feel the same. Even after everything that's happened. I hate that you still affect me like this. I've tried, but no matter how many other people I see, I can't find anyone that makes me feel the way you did.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

(Lloyd)

I hate that my heart still yearns for you. Still wants you.

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

(Lloyd)

You choose her over me. You wanted her more than me. And I'll never be able to replace her.

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

I miss you in my front seat

(Kai)

I miss you. Your presence is everywhere. Our bed. The coffee shop we used to love. Driving in my car I still look for you in the passenger seat. I'm falling back on my old habits, I can't eat anything without thinking of you.

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

(Kai)

There's still sand in that jacket I wore to the beach when I confessed to you. It's still hung up in the closet, frozen in better times.

Do you miss me like I miss you?

(Kai)

I wonder if you miss me at all?

Fucked around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too,

And I'm always tired but never of you

(Kai)

I guess we were better off just being friends. But of course I screwed that up and fell in love with you. You and your beautiful blond hair and emerald eyes. You and your loving smiles and gentle hugs. Whenever I was exhausted from work you were there, always lifting my spirits and making me feel whole.

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit

(Kai)

Your pranks that even when they scared the shit out of me, still made me laugh in the end.

I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit

(Kai)

I could never get you back for them. You'd always see me coming from a mile away.

I type a text but then I never mind that shit

(Kai)

Now when I try to text you I can't find the words. Words to explain myself. Words to say I'm sorry. You were always better with words than I was.

I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

(Kai)

I can't figure out how to tell you I miss you. I don't know what my feelings are trying to tell me. You would know. You always did. You could read me like an open book.

Oh oh, keep it on the low

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

(Kai)

I know our friends can see we still love each other. Hell I can see you still love me. I know I still love you.

If you wanted me you would just say so

(Kai)

I would take you back in a heartbeat if you just asked. Cuz for all my confidence, I don't have the nerve to ask you.

And if I were you, I would never let me go

(Kai)

If our roles were reversed I wouldn't let go of you. Even if it hurt.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

(Lloyd)

Again and again. My heart and mind fight. I'm torn between loving you and hating you. I shouldn't have to ask myself this question. But no matter how many others I spend the night with, I can't forget about you.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

(Lloyd)

My heart won't let me forget about you. It won't let me hate you. Even though my brain says I should.

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

(Lloyd)

You're probably happier now that you have her. She's probably everything you ever wanted. Everything you couldn't have with me.

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

(Kai)

I know I fucked up. I regret everything that happened. I wish I could take it all back. But I can't. And now I'm left here, still wanting you back.

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

(Kai)

We were so close to our happily ever after. But instead of wedding bells, all I hear are alarms. And now my heart is covered in caution tape. Too afraid to hurt you again.

You ever wonder what we could have been?

(Kai)

I wonder often what we would be like if that night never happened. I wonder if you do the same.

You said you wouldn't and you fucking did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix

(Kai)

We said we'd be together forever, now look where we are. I guess we're both liars now.

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed

(Kai)

You would hate to see who I've become. Always at the bar, drinking away my sorrows. Trying, and failing, to forget you.

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

(Kai)

Part of me says that I shouldn't miss you. I think that's also the part that is making me pull away from everyone. From you. From our friends. From my sister.

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

(Kai)

I know I should stop thinking about you. That would probably help with forgetting about you. But my dad always said that it's good to have feelings.

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

(Kai)

The love and trust we built is gone now. And I guess these feelings I have are part of moving on.

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So every lonely night I sing this song

(Kai)

Every time I try to be happy something goes wrong. And now I'm stuck here, trying to move on.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

(Lloyd and Kai)

I hate that I feel like this. I hate that you're gone. And though I've tried a million times, I can't replace you.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

(Lloyd)

I shouldn't still be feeling this way. Not after all that's happened. But somehow I still can't find it within me to hate you completely.

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

(Lloyd)

She must fill you with so much joy. Joy that I once thought I gave you. But I guess you're better off with her instead of me.

All alone I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

(Lloyd)

When I saw you with her I knew it was all over. The way you looked at her as if she was the only one there.

You don't care you never did

You don't give a damn about me

(Lloyd)

I guess you don't care about me anymore. Maybe you never cared about me at all. Like everything we've been through together ment nothing to you.

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her

She is the only thing you ever see

(Lloyd)

I saw you two at that party and you were watching her like she was the one. Like your feelings for me were all a lie.

How is it you never notice

That you are slowly killing me

(Lloyd)

I don't know how you managed to not see that I was hurting durring those weeks that followed. I felt like I was dying inside. But somehow you were oblivious to it all.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you

(Lloyd)

I still smile when I think of you. And I hate that. But at the same time no one else can make me smile like you could.

I hate you, I love you

I hate that I want you

(Lloyd)

I hate how I can't move on. I hate that I still care for you.

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

(Lloyd)

I hope you're happy with her now. I hope you find everything you ever wanted or needed in life with her. Because even though you hurt me, I still love you, Kai.