Chapter 11

Elizabeth loathed the dress that Vincent had picked for her to wear to Vauxhall. She did not understand why he cared so much what she wore when he was not even present with her. He was a dandy, she had known that from her first meeting with him; but did he have to insist that she mirror his style? She hated the extravagant gowns and the overly-ornamented jewelry.

She wondered what people thought when they saw her. Did they scoff inwardly? What did Darcy think? Did he imagine that she liked this style of dress? She would have to disabuse him of the notion at the first opportunity.

She felt rather like Miss Bingley as Sarah helped her don the feathers in her coiffure and the gaudy emerald necklace to match her dark green dress. She also had emerald and diamond earrings and rings. She longed for her plain pink muslin that she had worn at Longbourn.

Thinking of Longbourn made her think of Jane with a pang of homesickness. She would have to write Jane tomorrow to tell her all about the gardens.

Mrs. Bennet had heard from Elizabeth's letters to Jane and Mary that Lord and Lady Carlisle had returned to London, and she had written a scathing letter to Elizabeth, berating her for not bringing Jane and Mary to London to find rich husbands. Elizabeth had not answered the letter, instead throwing it into the fire. She still had not forgiven her mother – or her father – for forcing her into this marriage. And, after all, it was not her fault Vincent denied her her family.

He had been disgusted with her relations in trade from the beginning, and insisted on renouncing the Gardiners. That had caused one of her explosions of temper early on in their marriage, which she had regretted for days after as she lay recovering in bed. These days, she reserved her temper for when she was alone in her chambers and could scream into her pillow.

Turning her mind away from her husband, she resolved to think on happier things. Mr. and Miss Darcy were coming to Carlisle House to take her to Vauxhall. Vincent had already left for the evening, but he had peeked into her room before he departed to make sure she was in the correct apparel.

As the carriage was announced, Elizabeth stepped into the autumn air to find the Darcys waiting for her. A footman helped her step up, and then she took a seat next to Georgiana.

"Good evening," she said brightly. She thought Darcy looked particularly handsome, but she could not say that in front of his sister.

They both smiled at her in genuine pleasure. "It is good to see you again, Lady Carlisle," said Darcy.

"You as well. I must admit I am very excited to see the gardens. I have never been there before," Elizabeth said.

"Neither have I," said Georgiana, "but Fitzwilliam tells me they are wonderful."

"They will be having a concert tonight, as well as fireworks afterwards," Darcy said. "They also have a ballroom and dancing."

"Oh, Fitzwilliam, do you think I will be able to dance tonight?" asked Georgiana eagerly.

Darcy exchanged a smile with Elizabeth. "Perhaps you can dance with family. Richard and Sterling and Uncle Hugh will be there." He turned to Elizabeth. "Viscount Sterling and Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam are my cousins, the sons of the Earl of Matlock."

Elizabeth nodded. "I look forward to meeting them."

The carriage passed over Vauxhall Bridge and led them to the entrance of the gardens. There was a fee for a ticket to attend, but Darcy paid for all of them without a murmur. It was truly a small amount, Elizabeth recognized, but she still admired Darcy's generosity.

He walked with one lady on each arm until they saw his family milling about the front of one of the performance buildings. They greeted one another as they got closer. Darcy made the introductions, and Darcy's relations were very friendly to her. She noticed that all of them, especially Lady Matlock, were dressed fashionably and gracefully. She was even more embarrassed by her ostentatious clothing and had to keep herself from blushing with shame.

As they turned to enter the art pavilion, Georgiana walked ahead with her cousins and Darcy fell back with Elizabeth.

"I must tell you, Fitzwilliam," she whispered. "I do not dress like this out of choice. In fact, I loathe the clothing I must wear." She felt she must tell him. She could not go another moment with him thinking she liked this type of attire.

"I know that, my dear," he replied in an equally soft tone.

Elizabeth was surprised. "You do?"

"Yes. I thought during the house party that Carlisle must force you to dress this way. You have too much good taste to have chosen such gowns and jewelry for yourself."

Elizabeth felt relieved that he seemed to know her so well. "His strictures began even before the wedding. He chose my wedding dress." She swallowed hard.

"Do not think of him any more, Elizabeth. You are free from him for tonight." He squeezed the hand that was on his arm briefly, and then let go.

She felt considerably lighter as they entered the pavilion. Elizabeth was amazed to see the beautiful artwork displayed. Vincent had never taken her to any museums, and she found Darcy's knowledge of the paintings fascinating. She had never had much education in the matter of art. She freely admitted that she clung to Darcy's arm as she listened to his descriptions. They spent over an hour in the art pavilion, long after Georgiana and the others grew bored and went to find something to refresh themselves. Soon after, Darcy and Elizabeth followed them and found flowing goblets of champagne, as well as fresh strawberries and thin-sliced ham.

Colonel Fitzwilliam sat at Elizabeth's other side and regaled her with tales, no doubt exaggerated, of his time in the military. Darcy watched with pleasure as Elizabeth laughed and chatted with Richard, who had always been the most amiable of his relations. He was also happy to note that the earl and the countess, as well as the viscount and his wife, were friendly to Elizabeth. She had a natural way with people that he had noticed when he first met her. She could make anyone feel relaxed and at ease in her company. It was one of the many things he admired about her.

After they had refreshed themselves, they moved into the concert hall where parts of George Frederic Handel's Messiah would be playing that evening. Elizabeth had never heard it before, although she had played some of Handel's pieces on the pianoforte. She was transfixed by the beauty of it, as the orchestra began to play, and she felt Darcy's hand clasp hers between their seats, unnoticed in the dimly-lit hall.

She felt this must be the most magical night of her life. But it was not even over yet. After the concert, Darcy had told her there would be fireworks and then dancing. Viscount Sterling and Lord Matlock each took their wives' arms while Richard walked with Georgiana through the formal gardens. Darcy and Elizabeth followed behind in the rear. The gardens were beautiful, with open paths that led away from the main walkway. The fireworks began, and all of them raised their faces upward to see the kaleidoscope of colours light up the sky.

She had just turned to Darcy to share in its beauty, when she found him pulling her down a pathway to the side. She looked ahead and saw that they had fallen far behind the others.

"Fitzwilliam! What are you doing?" she giggled.

He pulled her until they were quite alone, shrouded by bushes on both sides, the sky lit up above them. "I wanted to have you all to myself. You look so beautiful this evening, Elizabeth – despite your dress," he added mischievously.

She had rarely seen him in a playful mood, and she laughed along with him. "I had wanted to mention to you how handsome you look tonight, Fitzwilliam."

She was suddenly breathless at the nearness of him and the utter attractiveness of his strong features, his fine form, and his dark silky hair. She found that he was holding her – his arms were around her and he was pulling her closer.

"I can go no longer without kissing you, Elizabeth," he said earnestly, looking into her eyes for permission.

"Neither can I," she breathed, her heart beating so hard she thought he must hear it. He lowered his head and his soft lips brushed hers. They were warm and tender, and she could feel his breath against her cheek. The pleasure warmed her from the inside as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against hers as she responded. She wrapped her arms around him as she abandoned herself to the sensations. She had never experienced a kiss like it.

At last, when they both were breathless, they broke apart. "That was … that was … wonderful!" Elizabeth whispered. "Fitzwilliam, I love you so much." She buried her head in his chest.

He held her close to him, cradling her head. "I love you too, my love."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, as the fireworks still exploded over their heads.

"I have been thinking…" Darcy continued. Elizabeth lifted her head to look at him. "Is there a way we can communicate – I mean, pass letters to one another – without Carlisle finding out?"

Elizabeth thought for a moment. The idea was extremely appealing to her – that she could write to Fitzwilliam whenever it pleased her. "Vincent pays no attention to the mail. I always set aside the invitations for him to look through, and his business correspondence goes to his desk. I suppose… I could enlist Sarah," she said, suddenly having a thought.

"Your maid?" he asked.

"Yes. She is very loyal to me. I could send messages through her. Do you have someone you can trust equally?"

"Yes, my valet, Williams."

"It would be such a comfort to me, for us to be able to write to each other whenever we wish," she said.

"I agree. It has been difficult having only the excuse of my sister to be able to see you."

"We shall see each other more often. We will find a way," she promised, although she had no idea how.

"I will find a way. I promise," he said. Then he kissed her again.

The fireworks had ended by the time they made it back to the main path. Elizabeth's cheeks were flushed with pleasure, and Darcy led her to the ballroom for dancing. Colonel Fitzwilliam gave Darcy a scrutinizing look before coming toward them and asking Elizabeth for a dance. Darcy let her go willingly. He stood and watched as they circled around the room together amid the other couples. It was a pleasure to see her dance so gracefully, now that he knew she was not in pain. Once they were finished, he asked her for the next dance, and spent the entire set watching her. He could not keep his eyes from her, remembering the soft warmth of her lips as they had caressed his. He was not thinking of morality at this moment. All he could think of was the woman he loved and being with her again.

It was a magical night that ended all too soon for both Darcy and Elizabeth. The Darcys dropped Elizabeth back off at her townhouse, then returned to Darcy House. Colonel Fitzwilliam had invited himself back to Darcy House for the night, and after Georgiana excused herself for bed, Darcy was about to follow her, when Richard spoke.

"What was going on tonight, Darcy, with Lady Carlisle?"

Darcy, still in a daze from the magical evening, looked at him dumbfounded. "What was that, Richard?"

"There is something going on between you and Lady Carlisle. If I did not know you better, I would say you were having an affair with her."

"I am not having an affair with Lady Carlisle!" he protested, well aware that he was telling the barest truth – he was not having an affair yet.

"As I said, I do know you better. I know you would not have an affair with a married woman. But obviously, you do like her."

Darcy's teeth clenched. "I am not discussing this with you."

Richard looked concerned. "I am not trying to pry into your private business. I am merely worried about you. It looks as if you have a tendre for her, and I do not want to see you get hurt. She is a lovely lady, I will admit – despite her choice in clothing – but she is married. You disappeared into the shrubbery with her for a quarter of an hour."

"Do you think Georgiana noticed anything?" asked Darcy, suddenly worried.

"I do not think anyone but I noticed anything, but I know you better than they. Be careful, Darcy. That is all I want to say."

Darcy nodded, but said nothing more, and they both excused themselves for bed soon after.