I'm really proud of this chapter and I hoped you enjoyed it! So yeah, I had a lot of fun with this chapter. However, you should know this is the last chapter with Dipper's inner monologue. Start the fic
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Pacifica awoke in a daze, her vision seemed blurry but it soon cleared up. However, since a lightning goblin was looking at her directly in the face she kind of wish it hadn't. He seemed to be the one with the golden claws.
"Wakey wakey Sleeping Beauty."
"Ugh!"
"Hey guys! You should see this face she makes!"
"Oh not that again!"
She tried to move but her arms and legs were shackled to the wall, she was hanging off the wall in the same 'room' they had seen the accountant. In fact, he was right there in the corner.
'If this is where they took me then why hasn't Dipper rescued me yet?' Pacifica pondered.
"So you're probably wondering why we're doing this, right?"
"Well given my past experience with my family history I'm going to say a Northwest screwed you over in some way."
"I guess you aren't a stereotypical dumb blonde huh? Your ancestor stole our gold, and now after all these years we shall finally have our revenge!"
"Why now? I mean if you're so pissed off then why haven't you gotten your revenge sooner?"
"Since you won't be going anywhere I guess it's okay to tell you our little secret. Lightning goblins have a fatal weakness, water. Water and all it's forms."
"So what? What's that got to do with anything?"
"That cave we found was not our first exit we found."
"What do you mean?"
His ears drooped down pathetically. "There used to be a lot more of us..."
Flashback
In a meadow the ground started to shake before a claw poked out of the ground. Soon a lightning goblin pulled himself up out of the ground.
He took a look around once before shouting down his hole. "The cost is clear! We can finally have our revenge!"
He walked two steps forward before stepping in a puddle. He screamed bloody murder before dispersing in an electrical burst.
Flash
This time they managed to cut a hole through the mountain side. One of them leaped out and surveyed the surrounding area. The grass and pine trees glistened in the night air.
"There's no one here! Northwests, here we come!"
"Wait! No! Don't..."
He charged out only to scream as he dispersed in an electrical burst as soon as he hit the grass. The lightning goblin behind him shook his head in pity. "Evening dew is no joke."
End Flashback
"We lost the others when we accidentally dug in to a river. Now there is only three of us."
"Wow, I don't think I can even comment on such a weakness. You probably found that cave by accident and only wanted it because there wasn't any water... or at least that's what I'm guessing... so why don't you go back to that whole Northwests stealing your gold thing? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess this mine was originally yours or something like that?"
"No, it belonged to the Northwests before we even showed up."
"What?! Then how'd they steal from you?!"
"It's actually quite simple. We came to Jebediah with a simple offer, we would help operate his electrical mining equipment and help him dig out the gold in exchange for half of it! If you can believe it he actually seemed surprised by our generous offer, but he accepted none the less. We worked tirelessly with the human miners until the day the mine went dry. We immediately asked for our share, he tried to make us a counter offer, he wanted us to take the mine instead."
Pacifica rolled her eyes at her ancestor's actions.
"Yeah that sounds like something a member of my family would do."
"Naturally we didn't take to kindly to him trying to back out of our deal. So when we tried to strike him he fled and sealed us inside this mine with the worker's dynamite."
Pacifica had read once somewhere about miners using dynamite to excavate new tunnels. She guessed it was true.
"He thought we would just stay trapped in here forever! Like a bunch of dumb animals!"
The one with copper gloves pushed the laptop in to the room.
"We can't be that dumb..."
He turned it on and it showed another Northwest family account.
"If we figured out how to drain them dry."
The two shared another snicker. "Thanks Copper Cleaver."
"No problem, Gold Gasher."
"And now? We get to have his latest descendant watch helplessly as her whole world crashes around her. Completely defenseless against the wills of myself, Copper Cleaver, and..."
"So wait..." Pacifica cut in. "Do you all, like, have cleaver little names like that? What's the one with the iron claws called? Iron side? Ironclad? Iron Eradicator?"
The one with the iron claws gave her a dirty look. "My name is Chad! Not all us need to have a clever name! Some of us can just have normal names too ya know!"
"Chad, calm down!"
"Gold Gasher, she..."
"I know! I know! Don't worry about it, we're getting enough revenge for generations to come."
"Yeah, how did you figure out that hacking thing?"
"Oh we lightning goblins have always had a talent for entering electrical devices but I do admit..." Gold Gasher's eyes darted to the accountant in the corner. "Entering the 'digital age' did take some help."
Copper Cleaver snickered. "All it took was one giant N on a pen for us to figure out who he was. And then he taught us things. Things we could use... for revenge."
They all snickered at once.
Chad hobbled over to him and pulled down the gag. "Got good news for you, this will be your last time helping us. Then you can be as free as a bird."
"Then you'll let me go? No kidding?"
"We're serious this time. This is the last account, after this we'll have no reason to keep you here. You'll be free to go and never come back. We'll never darken your door again."
"Don't do it!" Pacifica snapped. "If you do my parents will have nothing left to live off of! They don't know any other way to live! Last time something like this happened he had to sell our home just to get a water downed version of our lifestyle, but this time he won't even be able to do that! They'll go from wealthy to pennyless! They'll be kicked out of their own home and out on the street! You'll ruin their lives!"
"They're Northwests! What do you care? You're just their accountant, and so you of all people should know how many lives they themselves have ruined with their fortune!"
Pacifica knew the little monster had a point there, Northwests, not just her parents, were famous for using their money to step on people to put themselves above others. She might have been different, but it seemed to never change for any of the others.
"Your freedom is almost yours. The account number is 213757. The last one, with this you nightmare will be over." Chad said with an evil grin.
"And my parents will literally have nothing! They won't have even a dime to their name!" Pacifica shouted.
The accountant looked between the Lightning Goblins and Pacifica before coming to a decision. "The password is 73483935645."
Pacifica screamed and shouted in protest as Chad zapped himself in to the computer. The password was entered and in a flash her family's entire way of living vanished.
Chad zapped about and the three started to snicker once again.
"You-You..." Pacifica struggled to keep her anger back. "YOU MORONS! If you knew anything about the Northwests of today you'd know that I'm not like the others! If you just came to me, explained your situation, I could've found some sort of compensation that would have benefited EVERYONE! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SEND THEM TO THE POOR HOUSE!"
The three exchanged a dark look. "Copper Cleaver, I don't think I like her attitude!"
"I quite agree, Chad. Gold Gasher, what do you say we teach Ms. Northwest a lesson in manners?"
"Couldn't agree more."
Gold Gasher climbed the wall to the point where he was looking Pacifica in the face. He caressed her cheek with his gold claw.
"You've spent your whole life with a silver spoon in your mouth but now you might be finding yourself with gold in your veins."
She strained to move her face away from the claws as the other two laughed, not snickered, laughed at her plight.
"Mind letting me in on the joke?!" a voice snapped from the darkness.
Out from the shadows came Dipper, he seemed quite cross as he tipped his hat before storming over. "Because as far as I can see there's nothing funny going on here!"
"Dipper!"
I liked to think of myself as a patient man, but when put before a scene like the one in front of me? Well it takes a lot o will power not to see total red.
He turned to Pacifica and his expression softened. "I'm sorry for not coming sooner, Sweetheart...but there were some things I had to take care of."
I don't think I've ever seen someone so thrilled and enraged to see me at the same time.
"Things like what?!"
Dipper pointed behind him where an empty mine cart waited. "An escape."
Chad tugged on Dipper's pant leg, getting his attention. "Excuse me, but what makes you think we're letting you leave with her?!"
Dipper sent him a sudden glare which forced Chad to take a step back. "For starters, all three of you are under arrest! For kidnapping, burglary, attemptive murder, and..."
Copper Cleaver snickered. "And why should we care?"
Dipper pulled out his gun on them so fast it made the lightning goblin flinch. As Dipper adjusted the dial, Pacifica noticed that the green canister underneath the barrel was missing.
"Here's why!"
A red laser beam shot out of the mouth of the gun and raced across the ground. The lightning goblins scrambled to avoid it's path as Dipper guided it to quickly but carefully cutting the accountant free. He jumped in to the mine cart without a second thought.
Using this laser beam is like an art really. You need precise aim or else everything goes to pot. Luckily I make sure to get in some practice.
Dipper raced the laser beam up the wall where it cut off Pacifica's shackles, one at a time in a single circle.
She fell from the wall but Dipper quickly caught her, carrying her bridal style over to the mine cart in a sprint. He jumped in still carrying her, pulled the lever in the cart and they were off.
It was about this time that the lightning goblins got their courage back.
"AFTER THEM!"
The lightning goblins chased after the cart on foot, slamming their hands on the ground to swing themselves forward like they were some kind of crazy gorillas.
Meanwhile in the cart, Pacifica was still in Dipper's arms but she just ignored the awkwardness. "You saved me!" she beamed.
Dipper delicately put her down and stood up in the speeding mine cart. "I aint done, Sweetheart!"
Meanwhile, the lightning goblins didn't seem to be able to close the gap between them and the mine cart. Then Gold Gasher noticed the fuse box for the electrical work for the whole mine. "There! We can catch them in no time if we follow them through the wiring!"
The lightning goblins put one claw over the other in a three way gauntlet pile up, Gold Gasher touched the tip of his claw to the fuse box and in a single bolt of lightning went inside. They traveled up in to the wiring on the ceiling where the wiring hung and started to travel down it with an angry thundering cry.
Back at the mine cart, Dipper had replaced the battery in his gun and tossed the fried one. With his other hand he took out his fang dagger and spun it around in his hand before gripping the handle hard.
"Gotta time this just right!"
He reached his dagger up and cut the wiring on the ceiling, letting it fall helplessly to the ground.
"What're you doing?" Pacifica asked.
"Booby trap."
"Huh?"
The cart suddenly picked up speed as it went down a slope.
"Pacifica, did you wonder how my goo shots work?" Dipper asked as he lined up his shot with his gun. He didn't wait for her to answer. "They're a mixture of chemicals which expands when it comes in to contact with oxygen unless it has the other contraptions of the gun to give it form. Now say I had a glass canister of the stuff, not even full, waiting for our guests?"
"...Wait...how can you use the goo without the gun?"
"Ever see what happens to a closed glass jar with water in it when you leave it out in the middle of winter?"
"No..." Pacifica answered honestly.
"It shatters!"
*KACHINK!*
A glass ball shot out of the gun; time seemed to slow down as it hit the canister leaning against the wall on the ground, just as the lightning goblins shot out of the cut electrical wire behind it. Time sped back up again as a three headed giant goo ball came tumbling after them. Each one of the lightning goblins grunted in pain as their faces continuously hit the ground.
Now would be an excellent time for someone to que the Indiana Jones music.
"Faster!" the accountant shouted. "Must go faster!" It didn't seem to do much, especially when it broke off.
He started to mess with the lever even though they were already speeding towards the exit. Didn't seem to do much though. The mine cart reached the end of the tracks and shot them out towards the exit.
Dipper, Pacifica, and the accountant sailed through the air. As Pacifica saw the ground speeding towards her she closed her eyes, bracing for impact. She hit something, but it didn't feel like ground, she felt whatever it was and herself slide on the ground backwards. She opened her eyes to find Dipper underneath her.
"Dipper?"
"Sorry Sweetheart, my body just reacted. Would you mind getting off? I think a rock is poking in to my back!"
Pacifica blushed furiously at their position and quickly got off of him. Pretending like it didn't just happen, she helped him to his feet.
"Well Dipper, you saved me from having my throat clawed out. Thanks!"
He dusted his hat off and gave her an apologetic look. "I may have saved your life, but I didn't save your family's fortune. I'm sorry Pacifica, I failed you."
Pacifica wanted to tell him that it was alright, that he saved her life and that was enough, but the truth was he was right. There was only one possible way she could put a positive spin on this.
She averted her gaze from him and rubbed her arm. "Maybe it's better this way. Without any money my family can't hurt anyone."
Dipper was surprised by her outlook on the situation. "What, but what about that all that riches to rags nonsense?"
"If my father is half the businessman he claims to be he'll be able to land on his feet. It'll hit him a lot harder than the first time but him and mom won't end up on the streets. He'll have to live a normal life, a regular 9 to 5, but he should at least be able to support himself and my mother if he's willing to put in the work."
She puffed out her chest, feeling a little better about the situation.
"Then I guess that leads to the most important question, what about you?"
She suddenly became a little flustered. "Oh me? Uh..."
'Why am I blushing?!' she thought to herself. 'Stop blushing and give him an answer.'
She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "Oh don't worry about me, I still have a secret safe full of money back at my apartment. It should at least let me pay rent one more time."
As a detective, I knew a bluff when I saw one. The real trick to it, however, is getting the person to admit the truth.
"Pacifica, listen..."
"I'm okay too, in case either of you are wondering!" chimed in the accountant.
The accountant's bald shined the in moonlight, his clothes were tattered from his rough landing. He didn't seem to appreciate being ignored.
"Wait! You seem familiar...do I know you Mr...?"
I've never been one to forget a face. A name? Sure, but never a face. I knew this man...
"My name is Gabe!"
"You gotta be kidding me! Hand puppet Gabe?! You're an accountant?!" Dipper laughed.
"Yes, surprise! Surprise! I couldn't pay the bills with puppet shows, who could have seen that coming?!"
"Pretty much anyone." Dipper answered honestly.
"Whatever! I'm going home!" he snapped. "I'm going to have to look for a new job in the morning since it doesn't look like the Northwests will be signing my paycheck anytime soon!"
He stormed off as Pacifica hung her head. Dipper put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Thanks for trying, Dipper."
Dipper suddenly steeled his gaze and handed her his hat. "Watch this for me!"
"Huh? Why?"
"The job isn't over yet! And I want them to see the look in my eyes when I finish it!"
Pacifica was about to ask what he meant when she suddenly saw him take out his gun and walking over to where the lightning goblins were sticking out of the mine entrance, still trapped in the goo ball. Lined up, three in a row, the lightning goblins found only their heads sticking out. Two of them were unconscious from repeatedly hitting the ground, but the one in the middle seemed to be waking up.
Shaking the cobwebs from his head, the center lightning goblin found himself staring down the barrel of Dipper's gun.
"Wh-What's going on here?!"
"I consider myself a pretty forgiving man." Dipper started. "And if you only robbed the money equivalent to what the Northwests owed you I could even be persuaded to look the other way, but no, you had to take it further than that! You took all their money instead! Normally this would just allow me to do my job and arrest you, but again, no. You threatened to kill her, to...what was it?" Dipper adjusted the dial to the laser beam. "Oh yeah, 'put some gold in her veins'! As an agent of the government of the United States I am authorized to terminate any creature I deem a threat to the public people!"
"N-NO! Please!"
Dipper gritted his teeth, he was just seconds away from pulling the trigger. Sweat rolled down his face as he looked the cowering lightning goblin in the eye.
Then Dipper noticed his arm starting to go down. Snapping back to his senses Dipper saw Pacifica with a hand on his gun.
"Pacifica?"
"Put the gun down, Dipper. You don't want to do this."
Dipper looked at her with soft eyes but shook it away, fixing a steely gaze back on the lightning goblin. "You don't know that! Ten years is a long time, Pacifica! And what I've learned in that time is I can't afford to gamble with people's lives, I have to be hard or else people die! Who's to say if I let him live he won't come back and try to kill you but succeed this time?!"
"You're right..." she looked him in the face. "I can't promise that. And I don't know what you've been through in the past ten years, I don't know the hardships you've which made you steel your resolve. I only know what you've shown me. And what I've seen is a good man..."
Dipper didn't put away his gun but he gave Pacifica his full attention.
"A man who wants to believe in the good in people but isn't naive about it either. You could have just let a manotaur die of suffocation but instead you offered him a window out. You could have charged in and handled the lightning goblins right away but didn't want to risk the hostage. You care Dipper, and that isn't a bad thing! I'm stopping you right now, not because you're about to do the wrong thing, but because you don't want to do it either."
She brought his gun up to his face. "You see? You're shaking."
Dipper relaxed his grip and dropped his arm. "Then what are you suggesting? That I let him go?"
"The only thing I'm suggesting here is for you to do what you already know is the right thing. Don't listen to your head, listen to your heart." she pleaded. "Arrest him, don't kill him."
Maybe it was those big doe like eyes of her's or the whimpering of the lightning goblin, but I couldn't help but feel like she was right.
"Alright." He turned to the lightning goblin. "Our pretty friend here just basically saved your hide, so if you know what's good for you and your friends then you'll let it end at that."
"Y-Yes! Of course! I swear! This will be the last time she hears from us!"
Pacifica put Dipper's hat back on his head but purposefully pulled it down over his eyes. "Maybe you aren't such a stone cold detective after all."
Dipper laughed at her actions as he fixed his hat.
It was around this time that the other two lightning goblins started to come back around. Their grogginess seemed to linger for a moment but moment it was gone they noticed Pacifica and snickered.
"Oh just wait until we get out of this, Blondie. Then you'll really feel our wra..."
"SHUT UP, CHAD! YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE BULLET WE JUST DODGED!" the center head hollered.
While this was going on, Dipper had pulled out a walkie talkie radio and was talking to someone through it. He seemed to have finished just as Chad had been silenced.
"So who was that Dipper?" Pacifica asked.
"In short? My boss. He'll be sending someone to pick these guys up to face a trial of their magical peers."
I answer to the Secretary of Defense. They sign my paychecks and get me my jobs. Every now and then I have to meet up with the head honcho for a progress report of sorts. However, that is neither here nor there...
"Magical peers?"
"You know, creatures like Multi-Bear who are willing to abide by our laws."
So as Dipper started to read the lightning goblins their Miranda Rights, Pacifica let out a breath of relief she had no idea she had been holding. She smiled at the scene before her but soon she hung her head melancholy in remembrance of what had happened to her today.
One Week Later...
Pacifica was standing before her landlord, things weren't looking good for her.
"Listen I know I said I had the money to pay for rent one last time but I needed the money for...for something else. I don't have my accounts to cushion me anymore! Everything the bank hasn't repossessed I've had to sell just to get by! I know I'm asking for a lot, but do you think you could just give me a little more time to find a job so I can land on my feet?"
"No! I'm afraid I can't do that at all! I know it's tough but I can't afford to keep you up there anymore! Now get out!"
Pacifica glared at the man.
"You've turned in to such a hard case Tyler, it's really a pity! You were so nice as a mayor."
"Hard case or not, I already put up an advertisement in the paper for that penthouse which mean I need you to..."
"Don't tell me!" Pacifica cut him off. "Get out! Get out! Get out! Right?"
"If you know what I'm going to say then you don't need instructions on how to do it!"
Pacifica sighed in defeat and walked out the building door empty handed. She had nothing left but the clothes she was wearing. A pink leather jacket, a lake foam green shirt, and a purple skirt.
*HONK!**HONK!*
Pacifica jumped at the sudden noise. Parked in the road in front of the building was Dipper, in the driver's seat of his RV. "Need a lift, Sweetheart?"
You all didn't think I'd actually leave her like that, did you?
"Dipper? I thought for sure you'd have skip town by now! What're you still doing here?"
"I stuck around so I catch up with Soos and the gang." He opened the passenger door. "Now come on, I want to share something with you."
Pacifica stared at his seat for a moment and then at him. He smirked at her. "Like you got anything better to do."
"Alright Dipper, I got in, I let you drive me all the way to the Mystery Shack, now can you please tell me what this is all about?!"
Dipper pointed to the crowd in front the RV. "I Just figured you might want to see this."
He got out of the car and Pacifica joined him blending in with the crowd.
Soos made his way in front of the crowd, behind him was a structure covered by a sheet. He wiped some sweat from his brow and started to read from some flash cards from his pocket. "Good morning everyone, my name is Soos, I am the proprietor here at the Mystery Shack. I have asked you all here to today so may commemorate my predecessor Stanley Pines. Most people remember his as con artist, a charlotin, a cheapskate, and... " when it became obvious to Soos that the list of nefarious Stan labels wasn't going to stop anytime soon he tossed the cards over his shoulders.
"Well that's what most people would say, but they didn't know him like I did. To me, Stan was like the father I never had, and while some of his deeds would not be what some would call 'legal' or 'ethical', there was still no lengths he wouldn't go for his family. He always put his niece and nephew first, he even saved his niece's pet pig Waddles, he gave me my dream job, he helped give our own Wendy Conroy her first part time job which taught her skills on how to manage others. And of course, after 30 years he was reunited with his twin brother Stanford. He traveled the world having adventures with his long lost brother until his illness forced him to retire and return to his home, the Mystery Shack. Here he spent the last of his days surrounded by those who loved him. In these actions he has touched the lives of everyone around him, everything this man has ever done has been for the sake of those he's loved! And it is because of this we honor his memory with this!"
Soos pulled the sheet off revealing a giant stone statue of Stan. Stan stood proud with his right foot resting on top of a cash register. The crowd roared with applause as camera lights flashed all around it. "I hired some professional dudes to make this. Last time I tried to make a statue of Stan, it didn't go over well."
"This is sweet, Dipper." Pacifica turned to him. "but why are you sharing it with me?"
"I think you know." Dipper laughed a little when he saw her flinch. "Come back to the RV and I'll explain."
Dipper and Pacifica made their way through the crowd only stopping once so Dipper and Soos could wave at each other.
"Alright Dipper, no more games, no more mysteries. Explain!"
"Why should I when we both know Soos got the rest of the money for the statue from you?"
Pacifica darted her eyes about nervously. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Pacifica, please! I'm a detective for crying out loud! Did you really think you could hide it from me?"
"Uhh..."
"Gonna play it the hard way huh? Well just cut right to the chase then. When Soos left the gift shop to give a new group the usual tour he came back to find a pile of wads of cash in his donations bowl. However, there was something unusual about these wads, not that Soos seemed to notice, but I noticed. The rubber bands for the wads all had golden N's on them."
Pacifica flinched which was soon followed by a blush. "Good logic, but I already told you I needed my private stash for making rent."
"I considered that. However, the thing about you Pacifica is that you're nicer than you pretend to be. You probably heard about Soos and his goal to have a statue of my family member and did your best to bridge the gap."
Pacifica's blush got a little brighter. "N-Nice try, Dipper." She swallowed a lump in her throat. "If that was actually true then I wouldn't have even lasted the week I did."
"Except you probably sold all your dresses just to make ends meet, correct?"
Pacifica sighed in defeat. "Alright, you caught me. I came to the Mystery Shack on Monday looking for a job, then I overheard Soos talking about wanting a statue of your Great Uncle and how much it meant to him and..."
I did my best not to laugh at her here. It couldn't have been easy for her to confess, but she just had so much nervous energy I couldn't help but find it cute.
"I guess one thing just lead to another and...Dipper stop smiling like that!"
"I'm sorry! I can't help it! You're adorable!"
"Grrr! Dipper, why did you call me out like this? What's the point? What do you want?"
Dipper smiled at her and took off his hat. "Thank you."
"Huh?"
"They say it takes a village to raise you in to the adult you become, and this..." Dipper gestured to Soos, Melody, and Wendy talking and laughing in front of Stan's statue. "is my village. And I want to thank you for helping them, it was really sweet."
Pacifica aimlessly kicked some dirt off the ground shyly. "It was no big deal."
"No, it was a big deal. Because you are a big deal, what you did for them was the cherry on the awesome Sunday that is the person you've shown me you've become."
"What?"
"Did that analogy go over your head?"
"Little bit."
"Listen Pacifica, what I'm summing up here is...you've impressed me, I like the person you've become. You've made a huge improvement to who you are in just ten years. Which is why I want to make you an offer. A job of sorts, you'd get a paycheck like me and you'd get to travel all across America with me. All you'd have to do, is just help me out with my cases like you did with this one. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, would you like to come with me?"
"Come with you? Like what, as your sidekick or something?"
"Sidekick, deputy, assistant, companion, secretary, apprentice, partner, take your pick! Any one of these will fit! Either way, what I'm asking here is, do you want to come with me?"
The Secretary of Defense does say he'll allow me to hire someone to be under my wing. I originally made this offer to Mabel, but she pointed out that we each have our own lives to live now. Pacifica however, she seems perfect for the spot to me. Not that I'm ready to pick out drapes or anything.
Dipper held his hand out to her and Pacifica stared at it silently for a moment. "Aw what the heck. Why not? It's either this or manual labor."
She placed her hand in his and he lead her inside the living quarters of the RV. "I did clean the place up a little in the chance you would said 'yes' so feel free to look around."
And Pacifica did, it wasn't exactly 'roomy' but Dipper did make good use of the space he was given. Dipper let her explore on her own, he needed to go over the map in the front seat. There was a two seated table next to the table, on the other side across from it was the refrigerator.
Next to it was an oven stove, there wasn't anything special there, but above it...
"Dipper, is that a battleaxe over the oven?!"
"Yeah, it was a gift if you can believe it. Yeah, from the viking who discovered America, he predated Colombus by a long shot. I found him in a block of ice in Maine, I thawed him out and he gave me his favorite weapon as a thank you. He said he wanted to see what the country's become in today's world, I gave him the okay so long as he doesn't hurt anyone."
"Aren't you afraid it'll come down and like chop your head off or something?"
"Nah. I picked up a thing or two from Soos. The only way that thing can come down, is somebody takes it down."
Pacifica had to admit, it did offer some unique but effective feng shui. She moved on.
She was at the back now, there was a couch against the wall, a television sat adjacent. Next to that there was a closet, didn't seem to be anything special about it. Next to it was the door to the bathroom, again just ordinary.
In the back there was an oval...couch? What stuck out about this was there was a curtain in front of it, almost like a shower curtain but thick to the point where you couldn't see through it. She pulled it out all the way and back to see it went from one end to the other cutting it off from the rest of the RV.
"Dipper, what's up with the back? Why is there this curtain here?" called Pacifica.
"That's your bedroom! I even went out of my way to install a privacy curtain just for you! I think you'll like your bed, like sleeping on a cloud!" Dipper called back.
"You mean the oval couch thing? If that's the bed where you sleeping?"
"The regular couch unfolds in to a bed!"
She shrugged, made sense to her. On a table next to the couch sat a book, it looked liked Dipper's old journal but there were two things different about it. First, it didn't seem as old, it was so well kept it almost looked new. Second, instead of having a six fingered hand with a number 3 on it, it had a golden pine tree on it with the number one on it.
"You're writing your own journal?"
"No. Well, yes. In a way. To be honest it's more of a reference guide. I run in to a lot of strange creatures."
Pacifica had finished her tour, the only other notable thing was a laptop on the table across from the oven stove. She moved her way to the front and sat in the passenger seat.
"Anything in particular I need to know?" she asked as she buckled up.
"Let's see...I play the sousaphone, I like to play overly complicated board games, and last but not least, there is an abacus in the glove compartment."
"I meant about the job, Dummy!"
"Oh...Follow my orders, stay on your toes, and be ready to run." Dipper started the engine and shifted to drive.
"Hmm, makes sense I suppose. Dipper, there is one thing I simply have to know from you."
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"Why do you keep calling me 'Sweetheart'?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's because you're a sweetheart, Sweetheart."
Pacifica deadpanned. "Of course it is."
I know that from the outside looking in that this might seem like the end, but the truth of the matter is...this is only the beginning.
Only the beginning indeed! I have all types of adventures in planned! For those of you wondering about the ice jar thing; I had something similar happen to me as a kid. I accidentally left a six pack of glass coke bottles on top of the car, when I finally remembered them the bottles were shattered and the car was covered in frozen sodapop. If you had a favorite part or anything then let me know.