No omake this time. I feel like it drives the chill home a little better. Start the fic.
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Pacifica and Artie walked through the dining car, staring up at the hanging banjos from the ceiling.
"I admit it. I had some doubts on this 'McGucket' being a hillbilly at first but now... I believe it entirely with all of my being."
"Artie I don't like this."
"Well, okay. Banjos aren't what I would call good dining decorations but..."
"Not that! I mean leaving Dipper alone. I don't like it! He's vulnerable! Exposed!"
"Oh. Well I don't like it either but that's all the more reason why we need to find our prisoner! The sooner she's detained the safer Dipper will be!"
"I know you're right. Just... with Dipper not remembering anything I can't help but worry... I'm afraid for him."
"Me too, which brings me to something else I've been meaning to talk to you about. About my offer..."
"...I..."
"It still stands! I just want you to know that if you decide to stay with Dipper, I won't think any less of you. The two of you obviously have a history together."
"Well there has been a bunch of adventures I never told you about. Like when I met his parents, that time we got shrunk to the size of ants inside a green house, or when we had to fight the Fish-Man of Manfish Not-Actually-A-Real-Lagoon."
"I'm sorry, the Fish-Man of what?"
"It was just a really big lake, they wanted it to have a fancy name to attract tourists."
"Oh."
"Now let's see... There was also that bit with the elves and the logging company, I still think that princess had a thing for Dipper. Then there's the time I saved him from a siren and the time he saved me from a vampire count, those were one adventure by the way; or when Dipper found a magic laser shooting sword, on that day we learned that 'magic' and 'indestructible' were not the same thing... sad. We also saved Santa Claus once, I learned two things that adventure... there are different types of elves and Santa is actually real. Who knew?"
"I did. The man always has his paper work for his global travel. I'm not impressed often but that man astounds me with his preparedness."
"They were crazy adventures but I think our most special adventure which we never talk about was when a Japanese programmer came to us asking us to find his A.I. which escaped to the internet. Apparently Dipper's childhood friend/handyman Soos bought her game when he was twelve and she saved a copy of herself on the internet. Something about how Soos didn't turn off the computer before he ejected the game... I don't know! I think her name was 'Giffany'? I'm not sure, I didn't really care for her. I will always remember the moment she left though."
Flashback
Giffany appeared on a screen with a flirtatious smile on her lips. "Before I go, a thought occurred to me. Technically you are the correct age to buy my game now so..."
"Giffany," Dipper cut her off. "Do you know a 'MAGNET gun' is?"
"..." Giffany smiled innocently. "Leaving!"
*ZZZAP!*
"Yeah that's what I thought! Good riddance!" breathed Dipper.
"The hussy!" Pacifica barked.
"What?!"
"What? I didn't say anything. Come on! We gonna hit the road or what?"
End Flashback
"Of course all these adventures were so fantastic and unique that they aren't worth mentioning a second time or even revisiting for any reason at all!"
"...Fair enough."
Dipper's compartment...
Dipper had fallen asleep and had his head resting against the wall. With drool dribbling down his mouth an occasional word would slip out of his mouth, like "train..." or "Gravity Falls..." or "pocket..." and rarely "dice?"
Had he been awake he would have seen the screws to the grate of the air vent started to unscrew themselves. The grate fell to the ground quickly followed by Baba Yaga.
She picked herself up, dusted herself down, and noticed that Dipper was STILL asleep.
"Well someone's a heavy sleeper."
She walked right over to him and gave him a quick strike across the face.
"AAAGH!"
"Yeah, that's the usual reaction people have to my face."
Dipper pulled out his gun and aimed it at her. "Y-Y-You stay away from me! I know exactly who you are! You're that witch prisoner and..."
"Oh put that pee shooter away. You don't even know how to use it!"
"Do too! My friends walked me through it!"
Dipper pulled the trigger only for nothing to happen. "Huh?!" He started to smack the bottom of the handle. "What is thing, jammed?!"
What Dipper didn't know was that it was actually a problem with the dial. It was selected to the line in between two choices, it rarely happens and when it does Dipper usually rectifies it quickly and easily. This time though, Dipper didn't know this nor how to fix it since he had amnesia so he continued to smack until...
*PLOOT!*
A goop blast shot out of the gun to the surprise of everyone sticking to the roof at an angle.
"See? Do not. And what you don't know is those 'friends' of yours aren't actually your friends."
"Oh yeah, like I'm really going to take the word of witch who is ALSO a convicted felon!"
"Of course! I mean, you work for me after all!"
"That is the biggest load I have ever heard... I assume."
"I can prove it! Check your wallet! Your license!"
Dipper did just as she told but nothing 'magical' happened.
"What about it?"
"Do you see the words 'Dipper' on it anywhere? I mean what does it actually say your name is?"
"It says my name is Mason."
"Exactly! And you're supposed to believe that everyone, yourself included, choose to call you Dipper? I mean, that's just plain mean!"
Dipper closed his wallet and eyed her suspiciously.
"Alright, you make a fair point. You have my attention."
Pat held his daughter tight in his arms as he listened to his passengers fill him in on the situation.
"Oh my..."
"Jellybeans!" his daughter finished his saying.
"Listen, as long as you stay here in the engine room then you should be fine." Pacifica explained.
"Don't worry, though. We'll find her before our trip is over, and your daughter will never even notice the danger." assured Artie.
"Naturally you should only open the door to us, just stay in here until at least one of us comes back."
Pat hugged his daughter a little tighter. "Okay, I promise! We won't leave this room!"
"Okay, good!"
Artie and Pacifica left the car the started their trek back.
"Do you think we should have told him about Dipper?" Pacifica asked.
"Quite frankly I don't see what good it do. Especially since Dipper's staying put where he is."
"Sounds like bullshit to me!" snapped Dipper.
"I'm serious!" snapped back Baba Yaga. "You're my slave, the explosion was caused by those other two when you tried to free me, and now they're trying to take advantage of your amnesia by bringing you over to their side! What's not to understand about that?"
"And how do I know YOU'RE not lying? Huh? Can you answer me that?!"
"What's more likely? That you work for me? Or you travel around the country in nothing but an RV solving magical mysteries with a blonde woman who you are only friends with... who you live with?"
"... Well when you put it like that..."
"Oh. And you CHOOSE to wear that hat? With the pink dot? Which causes people to question your sexuality?"
"...I really don't feel any love for that dot."
"Yeah, that's just a mean trick on their part."
"I don't know... I feel really happy when I look at that Pacifica lady."
"Congratulations! You want to bone her! You truly are unworthy of that pink dot."
"Not that kind of happy! Well, okay a little bit of that kind of happy, but just honest genuine happiness too!"
"... Okay so I guess you have a crush too then, don't you?"
"Maybe so. Your story is still hard to believe though..."
"Oh? So you still doubt my claim?"
"Yeah!"
"I can prove it! In the pocket opposite to your dagger you will find a book. In that book is information about the monsters, monsters which we try to avoid. Did your 'friends' ever mention that?"
Dipper pulled out the book and flipped through it. It was incredibly detailed, too detailed to leave out.
'And what you don't know is that I saw you flipping through that book before the explosion. If they were too distraught to bring it up then that is THEIR fault!'
"No... they didn't even bring it up." Dipper sadly admitted.
"Then you know the truth. In to the vent, there is a child I wish to devour!"
Artie and Pacifica walked down the hallway to Dipper's compartment feeling a tad exasperated.
"I can't believe we didn't see that stupid witch on either of our trips." complained Artie.
"I know, but at least now we can keep an eye on Dipper and help him recover."
Pacifica started to slide the door open. "Dipper we're..."
The sight of the empty compartment was like a cold knife plunged in to Pacifica's soul.
"...No!"
That's it for now. Now then, time to address those 'adventures' Pacifica mentioned. More than one person has come to me asking to do side stories for my story, or at the very least tried to use the gun I gave Dipper. Anyways, that's where these little 'adventures' come in; don't think of them so much as challenges as they are invitations. I'm curious to see what people would come up for those. You have GOT to let me know if you decide to pick one up though. Moving on, this chapter was also another short one but I wanted one last chapter before the new year started. Next chapter will hopefully be written up soon, in the meantime tell me if you liked this one.