I actually had to put off a lot of my other stuff to get this ready today, I am probably going to pay for that later. But I hope you readers, and your enjoyment of this chapter will have made it all worth while. Start the fic.

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*KNOCK!**KNOCK!**KNOCK!*

Pat looked to the door and then down to his daughter. Dipper could be seen through the window, he looked injured though.

"Okay Sweetie, I need you to go to the far corner and stay there while I talk with Detective Pines."

"Can I pull on the whistle?"

"...No."

Pat delicately opened the door and stuck his head out. "Dipper? Is everything alright? I thought I heard..."

*WHACK!*

Baba Yaga dropped down from the roof holding a dented vent grate.

"Knocking them on the noggin, that's nature's snooze button. Remember that slave!"

"Ma'am, I still don't like this! This whole scenario just feels wrong!"

"Well, slave, that's only because you don't remember how awful you actually are. I don't enslave just anybody you know? You'd probably get your memories back if we were back at my house. Oh how I miss it with the giant chicken feet underneath it for a speedy get away."

"...What?"

"Never mind. Listen, I'm going to go on ahead to the caboose. You meet me there with the brat in fifteen minutes. I like to eat in privacy and I have a feeling that if all three of us try to get there at the same time then we'll get caught."

"Why not just eat her here?"

"Puh-LEASE! I do like some form of privacy when I eat. Now I to have to go vent crawling again since I don't have my cauldron and broom to row through the air."

"...Are you making that one up?"

"You wish!"

"What if those other guys show up?"

"Well then I guess you're just going to have to get a little rough with them, won't you?"

"Oh..."

Dipper hung his head at Baba Yaga's intent. The witch ignored Dipper's clearly bothered emotions and entered the car.

Artie entered the next car just barely missing the tiny sound of Baba Yaga entering the vents for the compartments.

"I'm almost at the engine. If that's where Dipper is... I fear the worst. Please be in one of these compartments Dipper!"

Pacifica was in the compartment they had originally left Dipper in begrudgingly searching for clues. So far all she found was Dipper's gun which made her more frustrated with the problem.

"Stupid Dipper going missing! Stupid ARTIE making me do this instead of him! No! No, this is all Baba Yaga's fault! That's who to blame! If she wasn't such a FREAK this whole problem wouldn't have started in the first place!"

Pacifica had to admit, her bitter attitude wasn't helping her search. She just needed a moment to take a breath, calm down, and find her footing.

"If Dipper was here, what would he tell me to do?" Pacifica pondered.

After a moment or two of thinking Pacifica found herself looking up and spotted the open ventilation. Of course, goop ball on the ceiling but that already stuck out like a sore thumb. The vent was, however, big enough for a person or two to crawl through.

"Of course! I mean it is a little cliche' but how else would they have been able to get by us?"

Pacifica played with the idea of crawling through the vents herself in hopes of finding Dipper but she ultimately pushed that thought away. If she came face to face with Baba Yaga in there then she would have no room to defend herself with her umbrella and be at Baba Yaga's mercy.

And while she was going to be intent on telling Artie of her discovery she was also going to be listening for sounds coming from the vents.

"I'm coming, Dipper!"

Artie entered the final compartment.

"Come on, Dipper ol' boy, be in this one!"

While he searched inside, unbeknownst to him Baba Yaga exited the vent in the compartment at the tail end of the car. She looked down at the hall to see Artie turning the whole compartment upside down in desperation and let out a little evil chuckle. With one final evil grin she opened the hall door and exited the car.

"Blast!" swore Artie. "My only hope now is that I'm overthinking things like Dipper does and everything is fine." He adjusted his tie. "That's feasible right?"

Things were looking bad, Artie left the compartment and opened the door to the engine only to find Dipper on the other side holding a squirming Sarah!

"Oh!" Dipper took a couple steps back in to the engine car. "Hi Andy!"

"Artie!" Artie corrected as he took a couple of steps forward towards Dipper. "Tell me I'm not seeing this! Tell me you aren't trying to deliver that poor little girl to that monster!"

"Let me go, you Stink Brain!" cried Sarah.

Dipper quickly positioned her so his hand was covering her mouth.

Artie's eyes darted to the corner of the room where Pat's unconscious body laid. "Did you knock out the conductor?!"

"No! My mistress did." confessed Dipper.

"'Mistress'? You mean the witch?! Dipper, listen! I don't know what lies she told to turn your head but..."

"Lies?!" Dipper snapped. "She told me the truth! Like how my real name is Mason, why didn't you or 'Pacifica' ever tell me that?!"

"One! You don't let everybody know! Two! As far as I can tell, you prefer to be called Dipper!"

"Oh yeah right! Like I would CHOOSE to have my friends call me 'Dipper' when they could be calling me by my real name! Explain that one Limey Smarty Pants!"

"I... Well..."

"And what about the monster book?! Huh? She told me about that one, where were you on that?!"

Dipper took a aggressive step forward and Artie took a step back.

"I... what use would..."

"Oh and let's not forget about the pretty blonde lady who everyone claims to have the name of 'Pacifica'!"

"Pacifica? What about he...?"

"That I'm 'Just Friends' with a woman who looks like that? I don't care how big that gay pink dot was, I'd have to be insane to be friendzoned with her BY CHOICE!"

Dipper took another step forward.

"Well, okay I grant that..."

"And YOU!"

Dipper took another two steps forward.

"Me?"

"Don't think I haven't seen the way you look at her! If you're really my friend then why are you trying to get her for yourself?!"

"I... wait... you..."

"Say whatever you like, but Baba Yaga's story of me working for her makes a lot more sense than that tornado of weirdness you and What's-Her-Real-Name tried to pitch at me!"

Dipper pushed Artie out of the way exited through the doorway.

*CLICK!*

Dipper turned around to see Artie pointing his special gun at him.

"I'm sorry you're upset, Dipper. I truly am! But I can't let you take that child away! Especially not if you're going to feed her to that monster!"

Instead giving Artie any kind of answer he slammed the door on him and locked it.

"What?!" Artie was aghast by such an action. He tried the handle but when he found it locked he immediately went to Pat's body to search for keys.

A sudden knocking on the window alerted his attention. There at the door window was Dipper, twirling Pat's ring of keys on his fingers. Artie immediately raced to him but Dipper quickly darted off.

Dipper just entered the first car when he heard an explosion go off behind him. *BAKACHOOOM!* He turned around to see Artie with his gun smoking, the door was hanging off its hinges. The gun's triangle was folded down and the hole for the square was smoking.

"OH..." Dipper was about to swear but looked down at the squirming four year old in his arm. "... Poop."

He quickly closed the door to the car and raced down the hall. Artie almost immediately opened the door and took aim with his gun yet again.

"I don't want to do this! Don't MAKE me do this!"

Artie had the perfect shot lined up but looking at Dipper's sympathetic face made it difficult to pull the trigger. Using Artie's hesitation, Dipper dashed through the next door closing it behind him.

"Blast! DIPPER!"

Pacifica was in the dinning car now, staring up at the hanging banjos on the ceiling.

"You know, sights like this actually make me homesick for Gravity Falls."

The sound of a door opening alerted her to the opposite end of the dinning car. There was the Baba Yaga closing the door behind her.

"Oh! Its you!"

"I knew I'd find you here at some point! There's no ventilation in this car!"

"Oh I'm so scared! Detective Barbie is going to rough me up!" mocked Baba Yaga.

Pacifica ignored the insult and got her umbrella at the ready.

"Where's Dipper?!"

"Oh you mean MY SLAVE? He's busy getting my 'pickup order'."

"What did you do to him?!"

"Oh nothing special, I just told him 'the truth'." Baba Yaga moved a little closer to the wall. "I will say I'm surprised you care though."

Pacifica absentmindedly lowered her umbrella a little. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Weren't you going to LEAVE him to be with that new ginger spice? Dipper hurt you didn't he? He earned your scorn so what should you care about what happens to him? He had it coming, right? It doesn't involve you because you'll be moving on to newer and better heights, right?"

"Dipper may have been a louse but..."

Pacifica was cut off as Baba Yaga pressed a big red button on the wall which released all of the hanging banjos on the ceiling. One of them managed to knock Pacifica's umbrella out of her hands leading Baba Yaga to make a mad dash for the opposite door.

Pacifica tried to grab her umbrella but got a banjo instead. When Baba Yaga ran pass her, Pacifica hurled the banjo at her tripping the witch up to send her crashing to the floor.

Pacifica stood up and held another banjo like it was a light saber.

"You're not going anywhere! That child is going to live to see tomorrow and I am going to get my Dipper back!"

Baba Yaga spat out a drop of blood, grabbed a banjo, and stood up opposite of Pacifica.

"Oh you think so? I have your 'Oh So Precious Dipper' convinced that two of you have been lying to him and that he works for me! He's convinced I'm his owner, his only TRUE friend in the world! Even you stop me, how can you expect to get YOUR Dipper back?"

"Amnesia is a funny thing! Anything can trigger his memories to come back! Anything from a familiar sight, sound, or smell to something as simple as another bump on the head! He maybe a little confused right now but my Dipper will come back to me! Even if its gradually over time!"

Baba Yaga put both hands on the banjo. "Well maybe I won't let you do that? Huh?! What are you going to do then?!"

Pacifica twirled the banjo with one hand.

"In that case, I guess I'm just going to have to embrace my inner Gravity Fallser..." she leapt in to the air holding her banjo over her head. "AND FIGHT YOU LIKE A HILLBILLY!"

She swung the banjo down but Baba Yaga just barely managed to block it with her own.

*TWANG!*

Pacifica twirled her banjo around single handed as she landed away from Baba Yaga. The witch gripped her banjo with both hands and swung it like a club at Pacifica but it was blocked nearly effortlessly.

*TWANG!*

"I'd never thought I'd say such a lowbrow thing but... My skills with the banjo are clearly superior!"

"We'll see about that!"

*TWANG!**TWANG!**TWANG!**TWANG!**TWANG!*

Pacifica panted out of breath, her 'banjo saber' battle was exhausting but she clearly had the upper hand. The sound of a door opening caught both of their attention as Dipper had arrived with the struggling Sarah.

"Dipper!"

"Slave!"

"Blonde woman!"

"My name is Pacifica."

"I still don't buy that."

"You haven't really fallen for this witch's tricks have you?!"

"Tricks?! You mean about how I work for her as opposed to traveling around the country fighting monsters with a hot blonde woman who I am 'just friends' with? She told me my real name 'Pacifica'! My real name is MASON! Where were you on that?!"

"What? I knew your name was Mason!"

"But you chose not to tell me?! Yeah, that sounds believable!"

Pacifica motioned to Baba Yaga. "We had BIGGER things at the time to worry about. You still don't believe me? Look at this gun!"

Pacifica tossed Dipper's gun at his feet.

"Look at that thing! Product of McGucket Labs! Do you think I'm smart enough to know that works right off the bat?! No! You had to teach me!"

Dipper picked up the gun and eyed it suspiciously. It wasn't any different from last time but now he was giving it a critical look over. He put the gun in one of his pockets and glared at Pacifica.

"I don't know that! I can't know that! All I know is that you were keeping secrets from me and the witch actually has facts to back up her claims!"

"You have to trust me!"

"I don't 'have' to do anything you Stink Brain!"

"Stink Brain?" Pacifica repeated.

"I picked it up from the kid. I think it is an appropriate level of censored insult."

"I... Fine! Dipper, you still have to..."

Pacifica was cut off as Baba Yaga threw her banjo at her face. *BTWACK!*

"Keep running, slave!" Baba Yaga screamed. "We have to make a break for it!"

Baba Yaga and Dipper dashed past Pacifica towards the exit. She was still recovering so it took her a moment to realize exactly what was happening. She reached out to grab Dipper by the trench coat but slipped on another banjo. *BTWONG!*

Dipper was at the door, they were in the clear!

"Dipper, wait! If you don't trust me then... then that's fine! But you have to go with your gut! How does this make you feel?! You know this isn't right!"

Dipper looked at Pacifica with her heartbroken eyes and then at the Baba Yaga's retreating form behind him. He spared a glance at the kicking child under his arm but he quickly looked again to Pacifica.

"I... I'm sorry!"

Dipper closed the door and locked it behind him.

"NO!"

Pacifica got up and raced to the door in a vain attempt to open it. The door on the opposite end of the car kicked open leading an out of breath Artie in to the car.

"Artie! Dipper locked the door and he's going to give the kid to Baba Yaga! We have to stop him!"

He took a couple of deep breaths and then walked over to her door. He pulled out a test tube with an odd metallic substance inside.

"What's that?" Pacifica asked.

"Gallium! A liquid metal which is a bit more user friendly than the likes of say mercury." He started to pour the liquid in to the bottom of his gun. "Long story short, it is very good for my gun... for reasons I don't care to know about!"

Once the test tube was drained, Artie aimed his gun at the handle and fired.

*BAKACHOOOM!*

The door flung open and he and Pacifica raced through it.

One car after the next, no matter how fast they ran Dipper and Baba Yaga seemed to be just one car ahead. Pacifica thought that they were finally starting to catch up to them when she saw Dipper's coat fly behind the door to the next car.

"No! No! NO!" yelled Artie. "This is bad! This is the last car before the caboose!"

"NO!"

The caboose...

"Yes that's it! Good! Be sure to lock that door!"

Dipper locked the door just as ordered. With the door closed the caboose was dark, as if light itself refused to be present at the location.

"Great! Now put the child down so I may consume her!"

"No!"

Dipper held Sarah close with both arms.

"You don't get to say 'No' to me, slave! You took the child so I would eat her, and now I shall!"

"I changed my mind okay?! This doesn't feel right! I don't like it! Punish me if you want, but I can't let you have this little girl!"

Baba Yaga's face turned cross and sinister. "You know what?" A black smoke surrounded Baba Yaga's hand as she thrust it outwards. "Tuxedo boy was wrong when he said all my legends and powers were nothing but hype! I think you will find that there is at least some truth to all legends at their foundation."

Dipper's arms twisted and writhed in agony as Baba Yaga's magic forced him to drop Sarah. Little Sarah ran for her life to the far end of the caboose as Dipper collapsed to the floor. As Dipper struggled to get up, the box he got for Pacifica rolled out of one of his many pockets.

"Run if you like, brat. It won't help you any!"

Baba Yaga's mouth expanded to an impossibly large size, her jaw was resting on the floor. A suction wind kicked up throughout the caboose leading to Baba Yaga's mouth.

Pacifica and Artie pounded on the door to the caboose. Pat arrived just as a blood curdling scream came out of the caboose.

"SARAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Pat was pounding on the door along with the others. There was so much noise, from Sarah screaming to Baba Yaga trying to suck her up to everyone pounding on the door. And then suddenly... it stopped. Not all at once mind you, it started with Baba Yaga's vacuum noise and then Sarah's screaming. This is what made them stop pounding on the door, the silence. A silence which accompanied by the unimaginable gravity of truth. The numbness they felt was as if somebody just hollowed out their entire being.

And then... the door opened.

Dipper came out holding a crying Sarah.

"Everything's alright! I took care of it."

Pat immediately took Sarah from Dipper and held her tight.

"I can never apologize enough for what almost happened here today." confessed Dipper.

Pacifica squinted her eyes at him "Dipper?"

"Dipper." Dipper confirmed. "I'm back. It was close back there, but I managed to stop Baba Yaga before... well before she could do what she wanted."

Pat gave him a quick glare. "How could you even think about giving that monster what she wanted?!"

"I'm sorry. What happened here was inexcu..."

Sarah broke away from Pat and hugged Dipper's leg.

"I... what?"

"Don- *sniff* Don't be sad! You were just confused! That monster lady put you up to it! You didn't want to let me go, she made you!"

Dipper knelt down and hugged Sarah back.

"Thank you..."

Pat stood above looking down at the two of them with the serious expression only a father could muster.

"Is what she says true? Did you try to refuse giving my precious little girl to that witch?"

"Yes. I chickened out at the last second and then she made me let her go."

"Then I suppose..." Pat picked up his daughter and held her close. "I can't be too mad at you. You did try to stop my daughter from being eaten."

"No Daddy! He did stop her! Just look!" Sarah pointed inside the caboose.

Everyone poked their head inside to Baba Yaga still with her huge mouth open but behind her glass teeth was one of Dipper's goop globs. It was so big that Baba Yaga couldn't move let alone close her mouth.

"Can she breathe?" asked Pacifica.

"I don't think so." answered Dipper.

"Good!" snapped Artie.

"Yeah, now that I think about it..." Dipper pulled out his gun and took careful aim. *PLOOT!**PLOOT!**PLOOT!**PLOOT!* Four new goop globs surrounded Baba Yaga, pinning her to the floor.

"Should've done that in the first place." grumbled Dipper.

"Not that this whole thing isn't lifting but..." Artie turned to Pat. "Who's conducting the train?"

"OH..." Pat nearly swore but a quick glance at his daughter was enough to catch himself. "...Poop."

Pat ran off with daughter in hand and our three heroes let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding.

New York...

The train pulled in to the station and a bunch of G-Men had been waiting to receive them.

Pat hopped off the train still holding his daughter when the top G-Man came to talk to him.

"Good to see you soldier! What news do you have to report?"

"First and foremost? I quit!"

Meanwhile the other G-Men were busy rolling Baba Yaga out of the caboose with Dipper and Pacifica supervising. The roof had been opened up so they could get the RV out and now it was just a matter of moving the prisoner to the armored truck.

"Don't be gentle boys! Seriously, don't be afraid to rough her up some. She deserves it, I assure you!" ordered Dipper.

Pacifica and Dipper sat on the steps to back of the caboose as they watched everything.

"Glad this one is finally over!" Pacifica confessed. "This adventure was... close."

"I know, right?"

"What about you? Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll get there." Dipper turned to Pacifica. "Listen Pacifica, I'm going to be upfront with you. I know Artie has made you an offer for you to go with him instead, and if that's what you want then I understand. I am going to really mi..."

"Save it, Dipper."

"What?"

"I'm not going anywhere. This adventure has opened my eyes a little too. Losing the trust of a friend who you only want to help? That hurts. What happened with you and my dad... I'm over it now. Artie's offer IS flattering but..." Pacifica stood up and jumped off the caboose. She offered her hand to Dipper. "If I wanted to be somewhere else I wouldn't be here now."

Dipper took her hand and got off the caboose.

"One thing bothers me though. What was it that finally jogged your memories?"

"Oh! Something fell out of my pocket, when I looked at it everything came flooding back."

"What was it?"

Dipper fell to one knee and took out the box. "Something for you."

Pacifica's eyes shot open at this action. "Wh-Wh-What's going on here? Dipper?!"

Dipper opened to the box to reveal a shinning... badge.

"What?"

"Our time of Senior Officer and Junior Officer, Hero and Sidekick, whatever you want to call it. It is over. Before me is now someone who I consider an equal. Pacifica Elise Northwest, will you do me the great honor of being my partner?"

"Oh..."

"What?"

"Nothing! Just... why are you on one knee for this?"

"Leg cramp."

"Leg cramp?!"

"Yeah, I've been running all over that train. I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner."

"Oh..."

"Why? What did you think was happening here?"

"...Nothing!"

"Soooo... do you want this badge or not?"

"Of course!" Pacifica grabbed the badge and gave it an appraising eye. It wasn't what she was expecting, not at all, but at least it had her name on it. "Well it's not jewelry, but I like what I see."

Pacifica helped Dipper to his feet. "Come on, let's go tell Artie the bad news."

"I hate not wearing a hat! My head feels naked!"

"First chance we get, we'll go hat shopping. Now I know we're probably just going to get another fedora but how would you feel about a stetson?"

"Me? A stetson?"

"Just think about it."

Meanwhile Artie had just received his new replacement car, the U.N. were anything if not speedy.

"Aha! My new ride!" A blue sports car landed in front of him transforming back from it's flight mode. "They sent the blue. Not quite as fun as the red one but I'll take it."

"Artie!"

Artie turned around to see Pacifica and Dipper waiting to say goodbye to him.

"Ah there's my favorite Yanks! Listen Dipper, about trying to shoot you with my gun earlier..."

"Save it, man. You were doing it to try and save a little girl. I would have been more upset if you didn't shoot at me."

"And the lovely Pacifica. A last, what are the words."

"Artie, I'm sorry. Your offer is very flattering but..."

Pacifica was cut off as Artie held up his hand. "Ah! Say no more! I think it's obvious who's company you really prefer."

"I... wait..."

"And Dipper, the better man won today. Do me a favor and treat her right?"

"Hey! Whoa! Wait a minute! It is NOT like that!" Dipper protested.

"Yeah! I swear! We're just friends!" Pacifica added.

"Oh please!" Artie hopped in to his new car and start the engine. "Your denial only confirms it. Far be it for me to get in the way of a couple in love!"

"No! Artie! You're not listeni..."

"Sorry Dipper, but I can't stick around anymore! I have to continue the escort for Baba Yaga's trial! Next time I hear from you, you two better be hooked up!"

"No! Artie! We're not in lo..."

"Adios love birds!"

*VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

Dipper and Pacifica coughed as they tried to blow away the dirt that was kicked up by Artie's car. As soon as it was settled their eyes darted to each other.

"He's crazy you know?"

"Oh yeah! Definitely!" Pacifica agreed.

Omake

Later...

The RV had stopped off at a roadside dinner, Dipper was busy ordering inside while Pacifica sat in the RV.

"The only thing I haven't figured out is why did Dipper keep popping those pens? I mean he was only doing it when something was happening between me and Art... Oh my God... Was Dipper ACTUALLY jealous?!"

Pacifica grinned like a silly little school girl but quickly got herself under control. "Not that I would care, that is. I mean, like, come on. Let's keep it professional. Ugh! Men! They're all so stupid with their raging emot... Wait." Pacifica looked through the doorway at the dinner. "Is that waitress trying to give Dipper her number?!"

She quickly regained her composure.

"Not that I would care of course!" Pacifica crossed her arms. "Its not like it bothers me or something lame like that!"

Pacifica turned her head and closed her eyes so as to not look at the situation.

She started to tap her foot impatiently.

Then she started tap quicker.

"Oh forget it! HEY DISHRAG!" Pacifica shouted as she stomped out of the RV. "YOU KNOW THE KIND OF LIFE THAT GUY LEADS, RIGHT?!"

That's it for now. Next chapter is going to be kind of a slow day for our heroes but I promise, the cloaked figure Jack Frost had his meeting will show up and reveal his identity to lead us in to the next adventure arc. I can't believe no one has figured it out yet. Here's a hint, he is NOT an OC, not a hero but also not technically a villain. Can you figure it out? Anyways, this chapter was fun to write, I hope it was fun to read. So let me know if you enjoyed it!