Alright guys! I'm back! And I'm gonna graduate high school in a few months!

And I know what you're thinking. Soul, you go to high school? Soul, you're not some random bum in his mom's basement? Soul, why haven't you updated Light the Torch in the few months?

Ahahahahaha…

…

…anyway…

Here's a Re:Zero fanfic! I have never watched Re:Zero, everything I know of it was from fanfiction and shorts and comic dubs, but I suddenly had this idea, and my itch had to be scratched. Enjoy~

All was quiet in the Mathers' mansion.

Somehow.

In truth, Subaru had been sent out to run some errands, as they needed more ingredients for the next week of meals. As of right now, Rem was cooking the last of it into a simple stew. She hummed softly, closing her eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet that it brought.

…she would never admit it, but after a while, she felt a little put off by how quiet it was. Subaru had been the one to start most of the conversations…or be the topic of them when he did something strange, but it brought a life to the mansion that she hadn't seen in a long time. And even with his stench, his earnesty had enchanted them all with how much he has done.

She sighed softly, stirring the soup within the pot and nodding. Perhaps she can check on her sister once she is done with this batch. Maybe they could do something to pass the time…

And just when she had put down the spoon, a loud vibration echoed from the table next to her, resulting in a surprised yelp that made her almost drop it. She looked around wildly for the source of the noise, and her gaze had rested upon that…strange…box.

"…isn't that Subaru-kun's metia…?" She muttered to herself as she put down the spoon and approached the vibrating object. Seeing it move around from its vibrations, the blue haired maid was almost convinced that there was a Great Spirit trapped inside. Tilting her head to the side, she tentatively reached out to the metal hunk, but pulled back almost immediately.

Metias were expensive. Such a magical object…she heard from her sister that it had the ability to capture a moment in time, something she hasn't seen before. If she did something to the…thin, fragile looking tool, then she feared how Subaru would react.

Fortunately for her, the vibrating phone made its own choice, and let its noise start to shake it around…slowly shifting it off the table.

She yelped and lunged to catch it, holding it gently in her hands as she barely avoided the priceless object crashing down on the floor. The cold, relieved sweat she had intensified as she realized just how FRAGILE this thing felt in her hands. With how much Subaru goes through, with just how bad his luck is, it was a miracle how there wasn't even a crack on it.

She turned it over to see what the source of the noise was, and her eyes had run over it. The carved(?) picture of an appa with a bite taken out of it, and small buttons were on the sides, one bigger than the other. She was wary of touching those, not wanting to damage property that wasn't hers. When the glass on the side of the utensil had suddenly burst into a soft light, she had a stifled gasp, before she grew entranced with it.

Numbers were on its surface, shown in plain white. It looked like a timer…a very, very slow timer. That…counted up. There was a white box with some words on it

Missed Call - 1m

Unfortunately for Rem, she had not the slightest idea what that even meant. Still, she tried her best to understand as she whispered to herself.

"...what kind of a tool does Subaru-kun use…?" She fidgeted with the glass, and surprise had run through her when she saw that when she swiped right, everything on the screen started to fade away. Quickly, she took her finger off of it, and the numbers and the box had returned.

…the pictures…move?

New words were now at the bottom of the screen.

Swipe to Unlock

The maid didn't understand what it said either, as it wasn't in the language she was used to. She could only assume that it was in Subaru-kun's native language…but she did understand the glaring, lightly pulsing arrows that seemed to confirm that she did something that was supposed to happen. Carefully, she put her index finger on the screen, carefully swiped to the right…

…and her mouth was agape when a multitude of boxes flooded the screen in an orderly fashion. Shapes inside these boxes were those she didn't recognize. A circle with numbers and lines. A badly drawn fox that looked to be part of an orange circle. A white box with…lines on it. It looked like a sheet of paper. Clicking on it, she tilted her head at what come up.

Enter the Password: _

She could only assume that it meant that whatever this box led to, she wasn't allowed in. Still, she tried to press the boxes with these strange letters on them, and she became enraptured by how the letters would seem to grow, before she released her finger from them, and smaller versions of it would appear under that white box. When she was satisfied, she tried to figure out how to get out, and she pressed the blue arrow that she assumed would do something.

Invalid Password

She furrowed her brows. What was that? What did she do? Trying to tap her finger outside of the strange box, she found herself at the screen with all the letters. She huffed softly and decided that there must have been something well guarded in here. Still, she trusted Subaru enough so that she would not infringe.

…she couldn't help but press another box though. This time, the little orange fox circle thing.

Her eyes widened as the screen would change into a dark screen with some pictures in separate boxes- seriously, what was with this thing and boxes- and some drawings inside of them. They were drawn strangely well, and while she could not recognize the writing inside, she could definitely make out the pictures inside. Some strange lighting was in the background, and it seemed to be of a man and a woman on a bridge, in the sunset.

Her curiosity piqued, she tried to tap once more, and furrowed her brows when it didn't do anything. She swiped this time, hoping that it did go under the same mechanics as what she needed to do the first time, and found herself relieved when it did work. The pictures seemed to dictate the man's face growing closer to the woman's flustered one…

…oh.

OH.

'S-Subaru-kun i-is into t-this type of literature?' Her mind was drawing blanks as she herself had her cheeks start to go red. She watched as the lips grew closer, glossed over with the couple's passion, and-

"REM?"

She almost screamed as she fumbled with the phone, shocked out of her stupor as she heard the familiar voice. Her face paled when she realized just what she was doing, and she immediately put the metia down on the counter, where she was sure it was last. The raven haired boy had come in right after, none the wiser.

"Oh! Rem! There you are, I brought everything you said!" He had raised up everything he had brought from the market, and she had put on a nervous smile, brushing off her dress. He tilted his head, and looked at her red cheeks. "...uhhh…are you…" He pointed to the scene behind her, and as Rem looked behind, she yelped and ran forward.

The fire! She forgot to take away the fire! How could she let this happen?!

She opened the lid, and sighed in relief. She didn't burn the food. Her nerves were quelled as she heard the boy next to her sniff and sigh in satisfaction. "It smells delicious Rem! I'll go call everyone!"

As she watched the boy leave the kitchen…strangely enough, not taking the metia with him, she looked around, extinguished the fire, closed the lid…

…and immediately took the tool in her hands, carefully swiping right…

…her face exploded into a mad blush as she saw the climax of whatever this amazing tool has shown her. The man had finally closed in for the kiss, and the sky itself seemed to have burst into joy, as colorful explosions of lights had appeared.

How dare Subaru hide such a thing from her! He needed to pay!

…maybe pay with a few more of these strange pictures…ooo, they look adorable here…

…yeah, as you can see, I'm rusty. Still, I like this sort of plot.

But! I am fully allowing anyone and everyone to take this idea and run with it! Just as long as they credit me, hm?

Seriously, please. I keep seeing angst for the fics in the Re:Zero fandom, and I don't know why people haven't used the 'Subaru's Phone Suddenly Gets Internet' thing.

But anyway! Toodle-loo~