Welp. Somehow, on the second day that this crackfic was posted, you guys hit 1k views.

Somehow I'm not surprised.

Anyway, by the time I'm writing this, I will be in school, eating lunch with this…actually kind of tasty pepperoni pizza. What do you know? School food's improving!

Also, apparently, I need to go to prom. Not really a necessity, more of I'm forced to go but I just wanna binge watch youtube music in my room aaaaa-

Anyway, speaking of music…

Ram was starting to understand why Subaru was so utterly useless with their language. It didn't mean she sympathized with him or anything, just that she was starting to see the point.

It also meant she was getting more frustrated with this bullshit more than she thought was possible. How was anyone supposed to read all this gibberish? The language looked like something made by a child playing with dice. It was already confusing having to think about how all of these letters SOUNDED in the first place.

"Urgh…" Her eyes narrowed as she swiped again, trying to get out of having to press any letter buttons. "This is stupid…" Indeed, she had just found the translation app. Having grown tired of trying to guess context clues within dramatic drawings, she decided to look somewhere else on this magic box for entertainment. From there, she pressed the thing with weird characters on it, and it brought her here. Seeing letters turn into different styles of letters, she was hoping that there would be one she was familiar with, but just like the Barasu she knew, there wasn't really much it had.

She sighed, and pressed the button on the bottom, bringing her back to the screen of many boxes, and swiped around.

…huh. This gray box has many other boxes as well…what's the point of that?

…what's this one with the triangle in the red box?

"...oh-" She was caught off guard by the actual pictures on the screen. Instead of drawings, these people looked…REAL. As if they were captured…in a moment in time…

…is this the work of his…'kamera' thing? But they were so small! What would they ever hope to capture in the first place? In her confusion, she tried to tap the first picture, which this time, was some sort of man singing on stage, to see if it would do anything, hopefully make it bigger so she could see what exactly was in it, but flinched as the box seemed to expand, before it made its way on the top of the screen. Some weird, spinning circle was on top…before the picture appeared.

…oh! It did get bigger…but what's the point of it only being on the top of scree-

". . ."

She was not prepared for the first notes of his voice suddenly gracing her ears in a powerful burst of emotion. The red haired maid flinched back and held the metia away from her, as if concerned if it was going to attack. When she realized that nothing was happening, she looked at the tool, wondering where the sound had come from. How could something so small produce that clear and large of a sound…?

Ah! Here! She tapped the little holes on the bottom and hummed softly. So this is where it was coming from? She'd inspect the inside, but…

…she really didn't want to break this thing right after her sister had given this to her.

For now, she was observing the man as he extended his arms to the faithful audience, who cheered on in excitement. She couldn't help but feel her heartbeat quicken at it too. Who wouldn't? Something like this…she would love to be just a little closer to.

…and there, it finally ended, and she was left breathless.

…

"...where did Barasu acquire this…?" She whispered in awe, looking over it once more. Truly it was priceless. Not only can it show pictures, capture moments in time…but it can capture an EXTENDED period of it, including the sound along with it. Hearing moving pictures was something she didn't think she would be able to do for some time within such a small frame. Shaking her head, she tried to find something else that might gain her interest.

…what was that ridiculous face this…man had on? In her curiosity, she clicked the picture.

Immediately, there would be a video of a man taking a running start toward the camera from the side. He then proceeded to leap into the tree, and catch it by the branch. In an admittedly impressive display of gymnastics, he swung around on it, let go and landed on his feet. In a…less impressive display of bodily control, he tried to keep the movement going on, making ridiculous movements with his arms with the most blank expression he could muster.

Evidently, Ram was sort of embarrassed for him, as if he pitied him. She tried to look away, but for some reason, she couldn't and winced. "...ugh…please spare me that. You're embar-"

As if fate itself cringed in on itself, a massive rubber ball came from the left, directly impacting the man's face with a loud BOING! His head snapped back and with his aimless movements, there was no stiffness at all in the muscles, and it was as if the blow had thrown him back into the ground, as if a girl had thrown a ragdoll. He clearly wasn't hurt by just how soft the ball was, and by the annoyed groan the man had.

Ram's words immediately died in her throat, and she nearly choked on them, looking away as she covered her mouth to stifle a sudden laugh, only for it to escape in short, erratic bursts. That was terrible! He could have been hurt by it, and if Subaru was any similar to this man, he didn't have much of any physique to protect him in the first place!

…

…but then again…with that display, he was basically asking for it.

And it made her laugh, which more than made up for it.

"Show me another, strange light box…" she whispered as she tapped another picture, this time of a familiar instrument, a man placing his fingers on the ivory keys.

…oh? A piano? Hmm…

…the first thing one would think about when hearing the notes being played would be rain. It was as gentle as the raindrops on a window, and yet it held the serenity of a thousand nights. To Ram, it felt like she was sitting alone near a windowsill, slowly getting drowsy as she would tune out the light pitter patter of water outside into a blissful, peaceful quiet.

…

She didn't like it.

More accurately, she didn't like what that entailed.

From wherever Barasu came from, might have been from an entirely different WORLD for all she knew, there were people with talent. People who could use their voices, their fingers, their eyes, to make art like this.

…and while the boy wasn't all THAT bad- he had tried his very hardest in this mansion, and admirably, had given much of his time to contribute something worthwhile- it wasn't much like what she sees in here.

…maybe he was hiding something? Surely, a mysterious boy like him couldn't just have his identity on his sleeve, right?

…or maybe he wasn't, and he was just…normal.

…

She shook her head, after remembering what she had seen of him in the village, and right outside when he once exploded into black mist. What was she thinking? There was absolutely nothing normal about him. And whatever he kept in this strange metia…was proof of it.

…

…it didn't mean she thought of it as bad. Meaning, she shrugged and tapped the next picture.

…

…this isn't what she wanted.

She narrowed her eyes, and shook her head. This wasn't in the picture at all! This was some weird advert for…a sandwich market? Why is there so much yellow and green in the background? Ugh! Even the voice itself pissed her off!

In an attempt to make him stop talking, she would tap everywhere on that little screen, seeing if it would do anything. She tapped the center, and it showed a little button. It was hardly noticeable…but when she tapped it again, the picture stopped moving altogether.

Finally! His voice was grinding her nerves!

…

…

…where's the music?

She blinked and sighed tiredly. Of course. Of course they would do this…in an attempt to try to make their product known, they made sure no one could stop them.

Joke's on them. This just convinced her that if she ever saw anything that associated with this, she'd never even look their way again.

…she had lost track of time. Damn it.

She hissed in frustration as she realized that she extended her break for far too long, as the light was already starting to die out. She had to finish her work, and she had to do it in a timely fashion, if she didn't want to work overnight. Standing up from the chair, she…

…stopped in the middle of the hallway.

…it was going to be much too silent as of right now. Barasu was outside, so there was no chance of him hearing any of this. So…

…why not try to enjoy her work?

She picked a picture of another instrument, and smiled softly. The red bar on the bottom had barely moved by the minute. And with how short some of these magical moving pictures were, she became aware of how that bar worked.

Meaning, she didn't have to change it too often. She would walk away, stuffing the tool into her dress.

…

…huh? She was already halfway done?

The red-haired maid looked around in confusion as she realized just how much she had done. Not only that, it seemed like her quality…improved.

She looked at the metia in wonder. What was this thing doing to her? Was it a sound based enhancement magic? It was as if she had lost herself in the music…and of course, she wasn't unfamiliar with the idea; she was very well aware that music helps one focus, but…

…perhaps it was the music itself here. This was a clearly different style than she ever heard before…and with how the source of it stayed in her dress, it was as if it followed her wherever it went. And with how much she immersed herself into it…

Her work took no time at all. And she barely even felt tired!

She had a light grin as she continued her work, continuing to-

Shutting down…

. . .

Excuse me?

Her blood had run cold at those words. The box has never spoken before. And the one time it did, it ceased all sound, and she was thrown into the cold emptiness of silence. No. No no no.

She cursed under her breath as she hurriedly took it back out. She hissed at how it was notably warmer than usual, and started to press the random buttons on the side.

…

. . .

The image of a bright white box had appeared, but it was hollow. Besides the nigh completely black within the box, there was a sliver of red at the bottom, blinking in and out of existence...

...before it would disappear completely, the metia stopping completely. The button at the bottom of it wouldn't even compress anymore.

Nothing was working. Nothing was working at all.

". . ." She looked blankly at the metia as her heart finally stopped at the realization that in the first few hours that her sister had given her Subaru's one thing he had besides the clothes on his back, she had broken it.

"Rem is not going to be happy."

She could already hear the screaming.

You know, I looked online, and somehow, a thousand of you guys found my fanfic on the second day it was released, and binged it. I've never had this many views before, and I don't know how to feel about the fact that this is seriously just a crackfic I made.

…that doesn't mean stop reading. Keep reading boys, give me praise mwuahahahahahaha-

Anyway, this was pretty fun! Ram's personality was harder to get than I realized, and I had to actually watch the show for the very first time. I watched all the way through the second arc!

And as a little treat…

"YOU BROKE SUBARU-KUN'S METIA?!"

Ram winced at the panicked screech of Rem, as she paced back and forth in front of her. "I know, I know! Keep your voice down, lest he hears!"

"Nee-sama…" She sighed under her breath as she ran a hand through her hair. "...this isn't even MY belonging. And if you truly are right of what it's capable of, it is a PRICELESS metia!"

Ram groaned in turn, covering her face and taking a heavy sigh. "Yes, I know, you don't need to remind me of it…" How was she supposed to know it broke so easily?! She was so careful with it too!

"Wahhhhhh…" Rem had quickly let go of her panic, and soon devolved into terror. "What are we going to do? What are we going to tell Subaru-kun?! He doesn't even know we were using it!"

Ram had gripped her hair in frustration…before she had an idea. "...metias are tools. Used to allow the use of magic without the need to open one's Gates." She started to connect the dots and her eyes widened. "...the Great Spirit within the library would know all about it."

"Beatrce-sama!" Rem had perked up, her eyes filled with hope. "Y-Yes! Beatrice-sama would most definitely be able to help!"

…

…

…for some reason, the drill-haired loli had felt like someone was praying to her. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable and buried herself in her book.

'Whatever the case…the feeling should pass soon, I suppose…'