It is 7:41 in the morning, and I am finally finished with that damn coding project! Ugh!

…is it correct? Well…

…

Anyway.

I really, REALLY tried to get Puck down…and I MIGHT have gotten some attention when I said I only watched, like, the first few episodes of Re:Zero while I was making this fanfic.

Suffice to say, I am binging the anime every night. It's actually pretty nice.

And in response to a comment, because I don't know how to respond to a specific comment on this website…

I haven't watched far enough to truly know any other character than those in the Mathers' Mansion. What I know of them extends to one comic dub, and one fanfic that encompassed the entire cast, so I don't have much to go off of. Still, I plan on finishing season one soon, and after that, I'll have a LOT more ideas!

For now, I have the ideas to sustain myself. Anyway, here's a spirit cat abusing a phone's vibrate function.

Puck thought of himself as someone very, very simple.

Putting the spirit mumbo jumbo aside, of course.

In truth, he didn't really ask for much. As of right now, all he really wanted to do was to have fun! With Lia of course. Always with Lia.

…but sometimes, he gets tired. More specifically, he gets bored. Like right now, when Emilia was in the garden,training with Subaru, he alone had drifted to the top of the monument, sighing softly as he kept watch over her, his eyelids growing heavier from the comforting warmth of the sun. He did admire Lia for agreeing to teach the boy about his own magic…as much as she had closed herself off, he was happy to finally see someone to trust with that.

That still didn't say much for his magic, as his mana rejected his will like a rebellious teenager. He still had yet to process it without laughing at his expense.

Spring was clear in the air. With the light atmosphere, mixed with the soft, relieving breeze that had washed over Puck, it was a miracle he didn't immediately fall asleep. Times like this made him glad that he was allowed to live at the mansion with Lia without having to work like a maid. There was absolutely no way he was going to spend his day cleaning on such a good day as this.

…

…

…that's weird. Why did the breeze stop?

Puck groaned softly, stretching his paws out as he blearily opened his eyes, wincing at the light of the-

…

…where's the sun?

The sudden realization shocked the drowsiness from his body as he immediately shot up. Wait, what? Did he fall asleep or something? "Where did…the…" He looked up at the sky, and realized just what had happened.

In retrospect, after seeing what happened last time he tried to open Subaru's gate, he probably shouldn't have left him alone with Lia.

A massive, black cloud of pure, untamed mana had burst out from the unfortunate boy, spreading throughout the entire garden in…a very familiar fashion. Words could not express his disappointment at the fact that he already felt nostalgic at it. That deadpan was the only thing on his mind as the massive black cloud approached him like a rolling storm.

He barely had time to yelp before he was engulfed. That was different. It actually felt violent this time, as if the mana itself was giving a warning. Looks like it was up to him to fix it all.

…again.

"I was unaware that Subaru-kun's homeland had their own genre of music…" Rem had hummed thoughtfully as she went closer to her sister to listen to the song that emanated from the device.

Ram smiled softly, her unusually calm expression purely caused by the serenity of the song she had clicked on. She had grown used to the metia by now, and she would never admit just how much she was starting to become dependent on it. Work became faster, work became less tiring, and it was so much easier to focus and drown out any distractions. And while it was a slow, sort of dreary song, it truly did set the mood. She could almost feel the wind…the skies darkening just like the ra-

…why were the skies getting dark?

"...Nee-sama, is it…about to…" The blue-haired maid's words trailed off as her eyes slowly widened at the sight behind her. Ram had grunted as she snapped out of her daze.

"...about to what, Rem?" She furrowed her brows, not hearing the last word.

It caught her off guard when she heard the sound of Rem's shovel dropping on the ground. She turned quickly, to see what-

Oh.

"...ah." She barely had time to remark as the black cloud had overtook them.

It took a very. Very long time. He had underestimated just how fast it spread, and he could barely see through it. In fact, he had been subject to the effects of Shamac. The only reason he had the ability to get to him so easily and help shut it down was because of Subaru's little connection with spirits.

Further away, the two maids were frozen in shock, holding each other's hand, mostly to have at least one sensation throughout that impromptu spell. Of course, this wasn't new to them…but they were caught off guard. On Ram's side, the shovel had been callously blown into the bushes. What a nice thing to have to fix.

…secretly, Ram had taken the phone and pressed the button to stop the piano music, before slowly backing away into the mansion. If that magic was an accident, she didn't want to know what kind of a mess he'd make if he got angry that his metia was stolen. She silently closed the door before anyone got their bearings back.

"I'm sorry!" Subaru had bowed deeply, at a frightening angle, to the maids who were unfortunate to have been caught outside in the blast. Rem had been sheepish and accepted the apology quickly, but Puck had only laughed softly at his expense, before groaning at the headache that formed.

Emilia held in a little giggle. "It is quite alright, Subaru…I already expected it after the first time. Though, not on such a magnitude as we've witnessed…" She hummed thoughtfully, thinking about how to approach the mana control problem. "...perhaps we need to focus on drawing out your mana, instead of directly trying to approach it?"

The familiar great spirit whined and sat atop her silver head, plopping onto his back, wincing at the effort. "Ugghhhh…I don't wanna think about that anymore…" That took more effort than he thought it would. As he wasn't looking when it first happened, the black cloud of mana had gone farther than he anticipated, and it took more out of him to stop his rebellious mana in the first place.

And now, he was tired, hungry, grumpy, and wanted to sleep. Not even the scratches on his head, from his little Lia, would cheer him up as he grumbled from atop her head.

He only weakly raised his hand as he heard Subaru thank him for his work. Puck had felt the girl whose head he was on shake her head in amusement, before she spoke up. "It is already almost time for dinner…and I believe we have fish to cook! Maybe that will make you happier?"

The prospect of food had made him perk up. Just a bit.

"...fish?" A nod had confirmed his hopes, and he felt a bit of his strength return to him. With a little grunt, he got himself off her head, and floated around, his tail drooping as he made his way to the mansion.

The first thing she did was put the phone on a table. The last thing Ram wanted was to be caught red handed with it. As much as she teased Rem at how she had been caught on the floor, messing with its strange light, she held no certain desire to be in her place. Immediately, she went to work, the fish being cut up and put into the pan.

…she looked back. If it had books…perhaps it held recipes too? Of course, she would never be able to read them…but perhaps, if it is a metia, Beatrice-sama would be able to-

"Dinner time!"

And immediately, she looked away, feigning absolutely no connection to the light box. The familiar stench of the raven haired boy made its way to her nose, and she gave a sigh.

"Ohhhhh Ram!" He had a massive grin as he looked over his shoulder. It was strange how fast he had bounced back from the situation outside…but then again, it was Subaru. "That smells delicious!"

She snorted, flipping over the fish. "...yes. It is. And unfortunately, I was asked to make this dish specifically for…" She had looked over her shoulder to see the cat on Emilia-sama's head. "...Puck." She had tasted that word as if it was foreign to her. She had decided that it was alright, shrugged, and moved on. She heard a little chuckle come from behind her.

"Well then, Nee-sama!" She felt a little pat on her shoulder, and she sighed. "I'm looking forward to it!"

…from outside his view, Ram's face curled into a wince.

"...oh!" Subaru had looked to the side, and found his phone on the counter. He took it familiarly, and hummed. A little warm…eh. Must have been the heat in the kitchen. "My phone!"

…Ram's disdain grew into an inner fury, more so at herself for placing the priceless artifact at such an obvious location. Damn it! She should have hidden it from him! She found herself trying to cook it all faster. Gritting her teeth, she had started to pull more pans out, trying to cook everything in unison, if only to make the process go by more quickly.

…

…

Dinner was quick. And albeit much was made, Puck was still tired. The food he ate only served to relax him, and he was definitely in the mood to take a long nap. But because of the fact that Emilia was talking to Rem, and the fact that he wanted to stretch his legs and relax in a quiet place, he decided to make his stand, well, lay his ground, right over the plush chairs.

…he immediately threw himself down, expecting a soft, pillowy heaven, but the back of his head had smacked something almost as hard as the concrete he was laying on outside. He yelped and groaned, looking down at the culprit. "Oi! Who put this thing here?!" He furrowed his brows in confusion, as he saw…himself below. On a small, black glass.

…ah. Traces of the witch scent…and for some reason, Ram and Rem. But mostly the former, meaning this belonged to Subaru. Ah…he could take this back to him. This thing didn't even look that hea-

Buzzzzzzzzzz

And suddenly, the phone started to vibrate intensely, with Puck still on top of it. Now, if he wasn't already halfway laying down on it, or not as sleepy as he felt right now, he would have immediately leapt away.

…but this time, he was stuck on the sensation for a second.

A second too long. Because once he felt the vibrations course through his entire, tiny body…

"ACK- I- h-huh- w-wait-" Almost as if he had a divine revelation, the Great Spirit had started to lay down, the vibration and increasing warmth of the tool acting like a massage chair. One could see as the words of complaint died down on Puck's tongue, as his mouth stayed open at the unexpected, yet welcome pleasure this sensation brought him. He fully laid down on his back, and he felt as if he had died and reached nirvana.

"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o–h-h-h-h-h-h-h-" The cat had vibrated in ecstasy as he felt the knots becoming undone. Whether he had the ability to get cramps, or whether his vibration was caused by the metia under him, was unknown to anyone. Still, every thought in his head had suddenly lost all meaning as his tail started to lay limp, on the bottom of the tool-

It stopped.

His eyes shot open, and for once, he was starting to get pissed. He shot up, smacking his paws on the black, warm screen. "HEY! WAIT! KEEP DOING THAT! I WANTED TO KEEP-" He stopped abruptly, when the screen suddenly lit up, numbers on top. He stared at them twice…before he stared at the text at the bottom.

…

He didn't know what it said. So he looked around on the screen, and his eyes landed on a weird box.

Subaru's Birthday - Snooze

…nope. He didn't know what it said. But he automatically assumed it had something to do with the (divine, heavenly) vibration he had felt. So immediately, he tapped a paw on it, and immediately, he was taken to a screen.

…a countdown?

Well it better be for the massage again. Puck had sat atop the device, and laid his head, waiting for it to happen again.

…

…a few minutes passed, and he had some time to think. This…was definitely Subaru's. No one else in this mansion, not even Roswaal, would have something like this. And seeing just how mysterious this boy was, wouldn't it be smart to try to look around? To see what sort of secrets he might have? Of course, he trusted the boy; even with the stench around him, he had tried his very hardest in even the simplest of tasks. But even so-

Buzzzzzzzz

And any sense of rational thought had melted away into pure gibberish. Secret? What secret? All there was, was paradise.

And for the next half an hour, the Great Spirit would be on top of the phone, the alarm buzzing desperately meant to symbolize the owner's birthday.

…and there was a cat on it. Great.

…

…

Somewhere in the forbidden library, Subaru was trying to learn more about the language of this world. He let out a soft sneeze, much to Beako's disdain as she flipped a page.

…that's weird. He felt as if there was someone out there that was insulting his very existence.

…

…eh. Nothing new.

Yeah yeah, I know I skipped a day, I'm sorry!

…well, if I'm following the words of Miss Half Elf princess, then I should say 'Thank you for being patient'.

I spent a lot of time binging the anime, and I have finished both seasons! Subaru on top of the White Whale's horn will always be the best Subaru in my mind.

Now…lore relevant or funny…lore relevant or funny…

…eh. Why not both?

Here's a little treat!

The knight had held his princess close, protectively, shielding her from the very air, the bitter, cold air of the world outside. She gave a stifled gasp as his metal clad hand had gently stroked the golden locks on the back of her head. He hummed softly, and pressed his face against the top of her head, the soft remnant of a kiss left behind as he pulled away slightly, his forehead now resting on hers.

"Smells just as beautiful as the flowers…" he whispered, much to the embarrassment of the princess…

…and to the embarrassment of the blue haired maid reading this section of the comic. She had no idea what he said, but with how it was pictured, she felt a shudder go through her system, and her cheeks bright red. Thoughts had run through her head…and when he saw him kiss the top of her head, her mind wandered to the last time her own was touched…

…by Subaru-kun's hand.

No! Wait! What was she thinking?! Rem had shook herself out of it. Where did such…s-scandalous thoughts come from! It's not like she actively WANTED Subaru-kun to touch her like that!

…

…she tapped the screen again, making the page go back further, and her blush intensified.

As the massive, white whale of elimination neared, Subaru had stared it down with a glare. His resolve strengthened, as he gave the biggest shit eating grin. He was doing his job.

"LET'S GO PATRASCHE! RIGHT UNDER THE WHALE'S NOSE!"

As he and Rem rode closer, the whale had regarded him with a strange fury, no doubt a reaction from the witch's scent. It opened its mouth, bearing forth to-

"Smells just as beautiful as the flowers…" he whispered, much to the embarrassment of the princess…

"THE ONLY ONE WHO MAY SNIFF SUBARU-KUN!" The boy in question had yelped in surprise as the maid had brandished her chain mace with newfound vigor and righteous anger from atop their ride. Somehow, even the land dragon they were riding on squawked in confusion. "IS ME!"

In her defiance, she let out a roar as she swung the mace towards the bastard's eye, to which it let out a roar of pain and fury as blood spurted out from the wound. Still, that seemed to do the job. The whale had to retreat from its plan, and regarded them more carefully.

Rem had felt a bit of pride and smugness burst from her chest as she hid a grin, leaning forward, wordlessly ordering the land dragon to go faster.

Not even regarding Subaru's incredulous stare.

'...what did she just say?!'