I finished Chapter 2 of The Battle Cats!
Why is this relevant?
Look at the title ;p
Anyway, I'm gonna try to watch the anime again, so I can start reducing characters for the humor/parody format. I'm starting to look at Crusche, and I'm gonna see what I can do-
Anyway, here's a half-elf committing theft.
…Puck has been leaving late at night.
With a heavy sigh, the silver haired half elf held her pillow closer, a soft frown forming at her features. As quiet as her surrogate father tried to be, she could definitely feel it when he was farther away, and she didn't really understand why. She would understand if he was going to check on something outside, if he had some sort of duties to tend to, but he doesn't even leave the house. Instead, she feels him go as far as the dining room, stay there for about half an hour, and go back to her room as if nothing had happened.
…what was he even doing there? She would guess to talk to Ram, but they've never even been in talking relations before; Ram barely even looks his way in the first place. And it was…always that one place in the house. It was much too consistent to just simply be talking to someone. He was definitely doing something else.
"Pucckkk…" She gave a sigh as she shifted slightly in her bed. He was weird about a week ago too…he got tired more quickly than usual, and after dinner, he was just…laying down most of the time, making weird noises. She still remembered when the cat spirit finally floated up after a while, and it was like every nerve in his body had been shut down, and magic was the only thing keeping his body up. He was barely even able to keep in his drool!
...now that she thinks about it, it would have started on that day too. About a day later, he started going out at night. Of course she didn't question him, but she would start feeling suspicious on why he waited until it was VERY late at night. Specifically when she was sleeping.
Or at least, when he thought she was sleeping. As she usually held him, it would be difficult for Puck to escape her grasp without rousing her from sleep.
Now completely awake and restless, Emilia gave a soft whine as she splayed her limbs over the entirety of her bed. As small as Puck was, it just felt too big without him.
…so she shuffled around her bed, and crawled out. She wasn't sleeping alone tonight.
And this time, she will see just what he's doing so late-
click
The same day that Puck had discovered the glorious device, to which he dubbed, 'Back Buzzer', he realized, laying on Emilia's bed two nights later…
That he wanted more.
That touch…that sensation…that care…
He wasn't obsessive. It wasn't HIS fault that such a device, that could only come from the most gracious of gods, was just laying there, ASKING to be used.
And it was Subaru's fault for making such a mess that he had to fix and tiring him out.
…and maaayyyybe it was his fault for laying on concrete. But the other things were out of his control!
And so, it would be customary for Subaru to lend his Back Buzzer, as payment for such a thing, correct?
Yes! That's correct! It would be impolite for him to pass up on such an offer…especially if this was what he could get every night-
He shuddered and wrapped his paws around himself. Urgh…that stupid metia…that stupid, amazing, otherworldly metia, what did that boy do to ever even find something like that?!
No matter. The kitchen is nearby. And with a massive grin, he raced forward, and placed his paw…
…
…
Somewhere, else, Rem had just gotten out of her room with the graciousness of a maid, and the silence and cunning of a cat. Her reddening face, remembering the chapters before, betrayed her intentions.
The picture book was getting more intense. It seemed as if the young man, the horribly, familiarly dense young man, had kept being ignorant of the main woman's advances. So she tried to give more hints, more blatant hints, and soon enough, she would start being more…forthcoming with her…suggestions.
It wasn't her fault. It was the first thing she saw when she pressed the pictures below the book she was reading. She could only assume that the glorious light box knew exactly what she wanted.
She was quicker to the kitchen than normal. She was impatient. This time, the chapter ended on a cliffhanger. And she would have gone farther, had not the door opened from Subaru-kun's room. When she saw the familiar drill-haired maid, she had never felt as much frustration with the Great Spirit as she did then. Because she had to spend the entire next twenty-four hours, trying to quell her nerves and remember every detail and every picture she saw.
And now…NOW…she could finish it. She looked around cautiously to make sure no one was watching, and put her hand…
…
…
"..."
". . ."
In that single instant, curses and slurs that should never grace the lips of a maid as dutiful as Rem had shot into her head like Subaru-kun's Shamac. Her expression froze, and the relief that it wasn't Subaru that found her, turned into full blown panic as she was caught in the act of trying to take Subaru-kun's metia in the middle of the night, like an assassin trying to go in for the kill.
And in the Great Spirit's head, he immediately went into a panic.
She saw him. She knows what he uses the metia for. And now it was going to be taken away.
…panic turned into annoyance.
She was going to take away the metia.
Annoyance turned into aggravation.
She was going to take away the Back Buzzer.
And aggravation had manifested itself into a glinted stare with the hint of a growl.
She was going to take away HIS BACK BUZZER.
A similar train of thought had occurred in Rem's mind, and the more she followed it, the more she realized just how much she had to lose. She was not going to lose this picture book. She was not going to let it go and let some…FLOATING CAT take this from her!
And that glaring realization had formed in their heads at the same time. They leapt back and pointed at each other, as they screamed with a whisper.
"SUBARU/SUBARU-KUN DIDN'T LET YOU USE IT-"
Caught off guard by each other's accusations, they immediately backed away on edge. Rem stuttered helplessly, before she shook her head, slowly becoming possessive over her picture books.
"W-Well, I used it first! I have the right to use it first! You just suffocated it with your body last night!"
Puck immediately recoiled, and for a bit, his face was red. She saw that?! "D-Don't think that you're innocent in all this! I've seen how you drooled over the thing before you got here! What sort of perverted stuff have you looked for?!"
"I-IT'S NOT PERVERTED!" She cried out, trying to convince herself that it wasn't. It was hard to do so, seeing that it was a romance novel with a lot of kissing. "I-It's…it's MATURE!"
Rem wondered how there wasn't a baby yet. Not that she'd be opposed to seeing one. "A-And my point still stands! It was MY turn! So I-"
Step step step
Their hearts stopped in their chests, and after a split second truce, they had dived for cover, right before an incredulous pink haired maid looked around.
"..." There was definitely some noise in here. Her gaze fell on a dark corner of the room…
…and there was Rem, acting as if she wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. Puck was effectively hiding behind her, outside of view. In the spirit of sisterly love (read: pity), she decided to act like she didn't see her. Instead, her gaze fell upon the unguarded metia.
…'Nee-san, I love you, but don't you DARE-'
'NO! MY BUZZER! STAY AWAY FROM IT YOU THIEVING MAID!'
…and Ram had taken her arm back. No…she couldn't do it. Not out of the open…nor could she listen to her music since everyone was sleeping.
…and she had a feeling that if she used it to read right now, a certain blue haired maid would hold a grudge.
So she walked away, going back to her duties. Perhaps she can swipe it early in the morning.
Step step step…
"..."
"..."
The ever so sneaky Rem and Puck had waited with stilled breaths before Ram had walked away, and they looked at each other.
They were the same in this situation. They were using a forbidden artifact and had to hide the fact that they were using it. Especially from the owner. But with fruit so sweet, how would they even BEGIN to resist?
They were partners in crime. Whether they liked it or not.
…and so, Puck extended his olive branch.
"I won't tell anyone if you don't."
"Agreed."
And Rem had accepted.
Such was the quickest truce in the history of Lugnica.
And so, for the next few days, Rem and Puck would start talking to each other. They would do so in secret, planning the next time they would invoke the blessings of the light box, in solemnity. After finding an appropriate time, they would wait until the middle of the night, before they would rouse from their beds, unable to sleep from their dependency, and meet in the kitchen, in order to start reading.
Well, Rem would start reading, and Puck would use the alarm function to massage herself. Something Rem still has yet to process completely in her mind. She felt as if she was supposed to be disgusted, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to look away. It wasn't every day that you see a floating cat vibrate.
"Ahhhhhh…" The Great Spirit sighed in relief as he stretched. "That felt amazing…" He floated away from the maid, waving a silent goodbye and a sign of goodwill, before he ventured his way back to the room. He silently opened the door with a soft click, and peeked inside…
A lump was in Emilia's bed. Good. She was still sleeping. Sighing in relief, he made his way to the bed, and laid on top of the lump…
…mmmm…soft…
As he started to drift away into unconsciousness, he didn't even realize that the magical signature of his little Lia was farther than usual. And there, behind the open door, Emilia was sweating profusely. That was too close. She almost got caught.
Not wasting this chance, she left the room, not wanting to close the door in fear of making a sound, and she went back to the place where she kept feeling him.
…the kitchen? She would expect the library or something else, but…she was sure that Puck wasn't an avid cook.
She looked around warily. Surely there was something here? The first thing that went to her attention…
…was Subaru's metia. The half-elf remembered that one…at least, she saw a glimpse of it back with Felt.
That being said, she was worried that Subaru had left such a thing out in the open.
Gingerly taking hold of it, she noted how warm it was, as if it was used recently.
…as recently as Puck had been out of the room! That's it!
She looked around cautiously, and pocketed the metia into her gown, and crept away back into her room. As she walked, she would fiddle with the box, and pressed a button.
…numbers. Perhaps it was a time telling device? Though, it reacted at the buttons…
Her finger had brushed up against it, and she saw it swipe. She yelped, nearly dropping it, before she took hold and processed the action.
…
…the pictures move.
She started swiping randomly, trying to get everything she knew out of the new revelation she had. In the back of her head, she was starting to think that invading Subaru's privacy wasn't really worth finding out what Puck was doing.
At least, that's what she thought was the case before she had found herself in the screen of boxes.
"...what is this…?" She furrowed her brows, and swiped around.
There were so many of them! At least 30 of them here…do each of these lead to a different place? And where would Puck even go to?
She swiped around…kept going, until something had caught her eye.
…
…there was a poorly drawn picture of a cat. A white drawing of a cat's face with a red background. At most, it could have been drawn with 7 pencil strokes, and yet the expression showed the most simple minded of organisms. One could call those dot eyes soulless.
And yet it was the most adorable damn thing Emilia had ever seen in her life. In that moment, she made a few connections.
Puck = cat.
Picture = cat.
Based on the mathematical law of substitution, or in this case, Emilia's train of thought at midnight, Puck definitely clicked on this box at least once.
And so she closed the door behind her as she entered her room, and tapped the box.
She was taken to another screen…which slowly went into a screen, bright, glaring, and yet held enough blissful glee to fill thousands of rainbows.
The Battle Cats
…she couldn't read what it said at all. But her attention was on something else.
So many cats…
There were SO MANY CATS.
Tall, small, some wearing a crown with a sword, some that were LITERAL GIANTS, but all of them held that mindless, minimalistic look on their face.
…
She had to put a hand to her chest to stop her heart from dying out of the sheer adorableness of the image. Composing herself, she returned to her bed and hid under the covers, hearing Puck groan softly as the ground beneath him shifted. She went still for a moment…and continued tapping.
She had to see what this screen was going to show her. After all, she had to see what it was about that made Puck go back every night.
Just for a few minutes of course…she didn't want to lose precious slee-
She hasn't slept a single wink.
It wasn't her fault. It was that stupid…war game. Shortly after realizing that she was sending those adorable, poor cats to battle, she realized that she needed more forces. To which she spent her time gathering cat food to entice others to rally support.
She hasn't felt more like a queen than that moment there. They followed her every command, and to think that they would rush forward to uncertain death, made her tear up.
Onward brave cats. Your lives will not be in vain.
"...Emilia-tan?"
"IT WASN'T ME-" She yelped out of her trance, before she looked around, wondering where she was now. Her gaze had landed on the confused eyes of Natsuki Subaru, who blinked at her sudden outburst. He gave a sheepish smile, arching a brow.
"I uh…was calling you for a second." That was a bit concerning for her. Usually, he calls her with such energy, it is impossible to miss. "Are you alright? You seem a bit…" He scanned her disheveled appearance. As much as she tried to clean herself up, no one could mistake the bags under her eyes, her feverish expression, and the slight wobble in her balance when she stood for too long. "...tired."
She laughed it off, and the raven haired boy noted how similar it was to his own panic. Albeit, she didn't have enough brain power active to even muster that sort of force. "I-I…just need some water! Yes yes…"
Before she was able to rush away, she felt a hand catch her arm, and she stifled a gasp, looking back. "S-Subaru?"
"If you need anything…" He looked up at her with that earnest gaze, before his face broke out in that smile. "You can tell me anything! I'll listen!"
…the complete honesty had enraptured her, and they didn't even notice the blue haired maid stumble in the background. Emilia, now realizing the position she was in, turned away with a fluster, coughing slightly to compose herself. "W-Well- I-I- u-uh…t-thank you…"
His bright smile was brighter than that barely hidden glare Rem had behind him. To which Emilia finally broke off, bowed deeply, and scurried away, patting her red cheeks.
It wasn't fair! She was the queen of the battle cats! She needed to have more grace than this!
…
…
…shaking her head, Rem left with a huff. So THAT was her competition.
Well then.
If those picture books have taught her anything…it's that she has to take her chances.
"Subaru-kun!" She immediately took his hand, bringing his arm close to her, much to his confusion. Ignoring his, admittedly cute, stuttering, she pulled him. "I need your help with this one…can you assist me…?"
"Wha- I- uh- sure!" He stumbled over as she took that as consent.
"Wonderful! Now, come along."
"Ow- you don't have to grip that hard, Rem!-"
As she passed by the still half-awake Emilia-sama, she hid her smug, satisfied grin as the half elf gave a look of utter confusion, to which Subaru shook his head and shrugged. She won this time.
Finally! Done…
…yeah, I have no excuses. End of year projects are REALLY kicking me in the ass, and making origami ornate flowers is pretty hard.
Still, hope you enjoyed, and I hope I can write as often as I can do now ;w;
Anyway.
"F-Fear not! Your queen has returned!"
Emilia took the first chance she get (when Subaru was out of the house) to meet up with her beloved cats in the light box. She kept swiping, looking around. Cat food. Cat food. She needed cat food for-
…she can get more? By…paying?
She clicked on it, tilting her head when she saw different boxes with different images.
A picture of some cat food.
A picture of a LOT of cat food.
A picture of a lot of BOXES of cat food.
…a picture of a massive metal container on wheels with cat food.
For the good of her army, she knew exactly what she needed to get.
And just like fate had declared for the success of her future endeavors, all she needed to do was click the button!
+3900 Cat Food (EXTRA 870!)
…it now just occurred to her that maybe she shouldn't have done that.
…
…oh well! If it truly paid with money, they wouldn't have made it so easy for her to do it.
It's not like payment information was STORED INSIDE this box thing, right? That would be ridiculous!
"...woah!"
The office worker looked at his coworker. "...what?"
He held up a paper that was flagged by the automated system. "Someone used this credit card! Look!"
He looked closer, and his eyes widened. "...wait, isn't that kid DEAD?"
"I know! And it says he just paid…" He furrowed his brows and read the text in confusion. "...thirteen thousand yen in…a mobile game?"
"So? Go report it!"
"Yeah yeah, but…" He looked up from the paper. "...come on, we met the family before. That…definitely sounds like something he would do."
"..."
"...should we call the family?"
"You better get to that."