"You must think I'm insane," Edward said, sniffling.
Izzy, who'd been half asleep with her head rested on her fist, jerked awake.
"Of course not," Izzy said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"I hallucinated years of conversations," Edward said. "If that's not crazy that I don't know what is."
While she didn't agree with what he was saying, Izzy was glad Edward was talking again. He'd been catatonic since he found out Izzy hadn't been with him in the compound. They'd all taken trying to prompt a response, but nothing seemed to get through to him. All he did was lay there silently staring up at the ceiling. He didn't seem to notice when Alice left for the hotel or when Esme took Emmett back to his room. Even sunset, the time he dreaded most of all, passed without comment.
"Can I let you in on a secret?" Izzy asked.
Edward leaned forward. "Of course."
Izzy hesitated before continuing. For years, she'd kept the full extent of those dark days a secret. Not even Jake knew how far into madness she'd descended.
"I used to hear your voice," Izzy said.
Most people would have judged her. Most people would have had her committed if they knew she was hearing voices. Thankfully, Edward wasn't most people.
"So I'm not the only one?" Edward asked.
Izzy nodded.
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?"
Izzy doubted there was much she could say to make Edward feel better, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to try.
"It's true," Izzy said. "I used to hear your voice."
His voice was like a drug to her. She'd do anything to get her next fix even if meant risking her life.
"During the day?" Edward asked.
Izzy wished she could say yes. If only they had some type of cosmic connection that could erase the space between Forks and Alaska.
"It was mostly at night for me," Izzy said.
While every waking minute was torture, the hours between dusk and dawn were always the worst. Izzy tried sleeping with all the lights on and the TV blaring, but even that wasn't enough to keep the nightmares away. It wasn't long until Izzy gave up on sleeping and started spending nights looking for situations that would force Edward to speak to her.
Edward flipped his arm over and drew Izzy's attention to a faint scar on his wrist."You first appeared when this happened."
Izzy gently traced the jagged line on Edward's wrist. While she hoped she was wrong, Izzy had her suspicions about its origin.
"How about you?" Edward asked, pulling his wrist away. "When did you start hearing me?"
"A few months after you disappeared."
Izzy couldn't recall the exact date. Much of the first year after Edward's disappearance was a blur. All Izzy could recall was that it was a cold and rainy day. In Forks, that didn't narrow the time frame down much.
"What happened?" Edward asked.
Izzy hesitated. Edward was probably expecting bloodshed and pain.
"Was it bad?" Edward asked.
It wasn't bad. There was no blood or broken bones. The only last impact was a dime-sized bruise on her back. Emmett probably would have even thought it was funny had he been there to witness it.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Edward asked. "I won't judge you."
He probably would have judged her had he been there. He gave her a solid 6/10 last time.
"I…Ummm…fell down the stairs." Izzy said.
As always when it rained, there was a puddle in the entryway. That would have been fine had there not also been puddles in the living room, kitchen, and both bedrooms. Charlie had been meaning to repair the water damage but didn't get the change before he got sick. Bella knew that if she attempted to fix the roof herself she'd end up back in the ER having another awkward chat with Carlisle. Until she'd manage to scrounge up the money necessary to replace the roof, she'd have to stick to pans and buckets.
When the leaks were contained, Bella decided it was time to do some laundry. After weeks of avoiding it, she'd finally run out of clean clothes. Bella noticed the puddle at the top of the stairs just in time to avoid slipping.
Unfortunately for Bella, Edward wasn't confident she'd be able to shimmy around the puddle while carrying a full laundry basket.
"Bella!" Edward shouted. "Watch out!"
Bella was so shocked to hear his voice that she lost her balance and fell down the stairs. Ignoring the dirty underwear stuck to her back, Bella raced back up the stairs. It was a miracle! Her prayers had been answered! Edward had come back to her! It wasn't until Bella had searched the entire house that she realized Edward's voice had been in her head.
"So you only heard my voice whenever you fell down the stairs?" Edward asked.
"No," Izzy. "There were other situations."
At first, it happened nearly every day. Little things like leaving the stove on or failing to buckle her seat belt made her hear Edward's voice. Unfortunately for Izzy, it wasn't long before the little things weren't enough.
"What kind of situations?" Edward asked.
Izzy's impulse was to lie. While she didn't see it at the time, her behavior had been completely unhinged. What kind of a person was stupid enough to put themself in life or death situations for the sole purpose of hearing a dead man's voice? If not for Jake intervening, her name would have been carved in marble years ago.
"Dangerous ones," Izzy admitted. "You'd tell me to be careful."
"You always were a bit of a danger magnet." Edward touched the scar on her wrist. "I imagine this is from one of those times."
Izzy nodded.
Faster. Faster. Faster. Maybe if she went a little faster she'd catch him this time.
"Did you ever see me?"
Izzy bit her lip. "Once."
Peace. At long last, she was at peace. Heaven. Hell. It didn't really matter. At long last, she was with Edward.
"Bella!" Edward cried. "Don't give up! Fight!
Why did people think giving up was a bad thing? Sometimes giving up was the logical choice. Why keep fighting when time only made the pain worse?
"Don't close your eyes!" Edward yelled.
Why? She was so tired. Bella wrapped her arms around Edward. All the best naps took place in his arms. The beat of his heart was the only lullaby she needed. At long last, the nightmares would be gone.
"No!" Edward shouted. "Stay awake!"
Bella was about to drift off to sleep when something grabbed her arm and dragged her up towards the surface.
"What happened?" Edward asked
Izzy and Jake had a sort of understating about that day. It was an accident. She didn't know the kids in La Push typically jumped from a spot further down. She hadn't expected the current to be so strong. She hadn't planned on getting pulled under the icy water. It was just an accident. An accident not worth talking about.
Izzy bit her lip. "It's kind of a long story."
A long story she didn't plan to tell now or ever. Edward didn't need to know she'd ended up in a place so dark that throwing herself off a cliff seemed like a good idea.
"I'm so sorry," Edward said. "I should have been there for you."
Sorry? What was he sorry about?
"Listen to me," Izzy said, leaning in close. "None of what happened was your fault."
It wasn't his fault he was taken. It wasn't his fault that she fell apart.
"But!" Edward protested.
"But nothing," Izzy said firmly. "The only one who should be sorry is me. I should never have stopped looking for you. I should have-
"No," Edward said. "I'm glad you gave up."
"What?" Izzy asked.
How could he possibly be happy that she had stopped looking for him? Did he want to remain in the hands of a blood-thirsty cult?
"I'm glad you've never met the Denalis," Edward said. "It may not look like it, but I was one of the lucky ones. They took a lot more than blood from the girls."
Izzy felt sick to her stomach. Bree Tanner was in middle school when she was taken.
"You always disappeared at night," Edward said. "I worried about what they might be doing to you."
It was just like Edward to worry about her safety while he was being tortured.
"I still worry," Edward continued. About what happened to you while I was gone and what will happen in the future."
Izzy also worried about the future, but she didn't share those worries with Edward.
"I told you how I've spent the last few years," Izzy said. "I became a world-famous rock star with a soft spot for dogs."
Izzy had moved to Forks hoping for a boring, drama-free life. When that didn't work out, she did a 180 and tried life in the fast lane where no risk was too great. Now, she liked to think she'd found a happy medium. She still enjoyed extreme sports and the occasional adventure, but only in ideal conditions with the appropriate safety gear. Her life was exciting without being over the top dangerous. She wondered what phase four of her life in Washington would look like. Would Edward once again be a main character or had their best days already passed?
"You promised that you'd tell the truth," Edward said.
"Everything I told you was the truth," Izzy said.
It was the truth. A sugar-coated high light roll, but still the truth.
"You lied through omission," Edward said. "I don't believe for a second that the last five years have been a walk in the park for you. I can see it in your eyes, mom's eyes, and Alice's eyes. While you may not have been in the compound with us, you have all suffered terribly."
They had suffered, but not even one percent of the amount Edward had.
"It would be hypocritical of me to expect you to tell me everything now," Edward said. "There are some things I don't want to talk about. There are some things I'll tell you later and others I'll take to my grave."
If what Izzy knew already was awful, then what was Edward keeping secret? Probably things that would give even the most hardened FBI agent a lifetime of nightmares.
Izzy was quick to silence her phone when it rang. It was Jake calling again. While she hated to do so, she'd been dodging his calls all night. Edward needed her full attention.
"You should answer that," Edward said. "He's probably worried about you."
Izzy was surprised by how calm he seemed. It used to make him so angry when Jake called. Edward was convinced Jake had some sort of spidey sense telling him the best time to interrupt their dates.
"The sun is coming up," Edward said, gesturing to the window. "Go talk to him. I'll be fine."
I'll be fine. Izzy wasn't falling for it. She'd told that same lie more times than she could count.
Right on cue, the smile that didn't quite reach his eyes spread across Edward's face. "Really, Bella. I'll be okay for a few minutes."
If Edward meant to seem calm and collected, then he should have let go of Izzy's hand at that point. But he didn't. Izzy didn't let go either. Jake would just have to make do with a quick text when Edward wasn't looking.
Emmett sprinted into the room carrying a tiny bottle of orange juice. "Edward! Look what I found" He tossed the bottle to Edward.
In high school, Edward was the captain of the baseball team. He could have caught a throw like that with his eyes closed. In contrast, anything thrown to Izzy had a 95% chance of ending up on the floor. The present Edward, with his broken bones and bruises, didn't stand a chance. The bottle sailed across the room headed right for his head. Thankfully, Izzy's reflexes had dramatically improved since high school. Izzy caught the bottle with her free hand saving Edward from being hit in the face.
"Careful, Emmett," Izzy said, handing the bottle to Edward. "He's not ready to play catch yet."
"Dang, Swan," Emmett said, chuckling. "Where did that come from?"
In a house full of guys catching was a necessary skill if you didn't want to end up with a concussion.
Izzy shrugged. "Time."
Her living situation was one of the things she'd left out of her story. Edward would probably panic if he knew she was living in enemy territory.
"Is this what I think it is?" Edward asked, squinting at the label on the orange juice.
Izzy made a mental note to ask about having Edward's vision checked. Like many things planned before he left for Alaska, Edward's ophthalmology appointment never happened.
"Yeah bro," Emmett said. "It still exists! Breakfast is saved!"
How much orange juice had Izzy enjoyed over the years? Probably gallons. Quil believed the day didn't really start until he'd enjoyed a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice. He'd probably raise an eyebrow at Emmett's excitement over a bottle of Walmart brand orange juice. Then again, he hadn't spent the last five years being force-fed blood.
Edward shook his head. "I wonder what else they lied about."
Alice ran past the room. She doubled back when she noticed Emmett and Edward marveling over the neon orange liquid.
Alice stormed into the room. Other than the prominent V on her forehead, she looked ready for the runway. Not a hair was out of place and her clothes probably cost more than most people made in a month.
"I've been looking everywhere for you," She crossed her arms and glared at Emmett. "What part of "stay in your room'' did you not understand?"
"The part where you said it would only take a few minutes to do your makeup," Emmett replied.
"It took me fifteen minutes!"
Knowling Alice, fifteen minutes was probably more like thirty.
"I waited for an hour"
Knowing Emmett an hour was probably more like fifteen minutes.
"Can you really fault me?" Emmett said to Izzy. "I just couldn't wait to see you three losers."
Three? Crap! Why did Jasper have to be so quiet? Izzy had forgotten he was hiding under the bed listening to every word. What if the first words he said were a warning that both Izzy and Edward had lost their minds?
"And what's that you have?" Alice asked, eyeing the orange juice. "We talked about this, remember? No more food unless it's given to you by the doctor. Your stomach can't handle junk food yet."
"It's not junk food, it's orange juice," Emmett said. "A little bit of juice isn't going to kill me."
Alice snatched the bottle out of his hands and read the nutrition label. "It has more sugar than a candy bar."
Izzy wondered how long it had been since Alice had an unhealthy snack. Judging by her prominent cheekbones probably awhile.
"Come on, Ally," Emmett said, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. "Just one sip. It's been years. Eleazar told us the storms wiped out all the orange trees."
"What storms?" Izzy asked.
"The ones that destroyed Florida," Edward said. "Eleazar told us that the entire state is now underwater."
"There have been a few hurricanes, but Florida is still there," Alice said.
Edward squeezed Izzy's hand. "Is that true? Is Florida okay?"
Izzy nodded. "I'm scheduled to do a show in Miami next month."
Edward panicked when Izzy went to the bathroom. How would he cope with her being over 4,000 miles away?
"What else did that maniac tell you?" Alice asked.
"He told us there was a pandemic and millions of people died," Edward said. "I bet that wasn't true either.
Alice set the orange juice down and wrung her hands. "About that….
Izzy bit her lip. She wondered how long Edward would be catatonic for this time.
Emmett saw his opportunity and took it. He grabbed the orange juice and gulped down the entire bottle before anyone could stop him.
"See," Emmett said, grinning. "I'm fine."
His stomach made a loud grumbling noise. Like Edward, Emmett was not fine. The orange juice reappeared ten seconds later. Izzy wrinkled her nose. At least he'd managed to aim for the trash can.
Emmett wiped off his mouth. "Totally worth it."
Alice shook her head. "How Rose kept up with you I'll never know."
Emmett's smile faltered. "She certainly had her work cut out for her."
Izzy wondered if he'd slept at all. The dark circles under his eyes didn't speak of a good night's rest.
"Oh Emmett," Alice said, realizing her mistake. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"
Edward sneezed, preventing another round of apologizing.
"Hey Bella," Emmett said. "How many dogs did you say you have at the Black Pack?"
"A little over three hundred, why?" Izzy answered.
What did Emmett care about how many dogs were under her care? As far as she knew, the Cullens were cat people.
"Do any of them like to nest in your closet?" Emmett asked.
Izzy looked down at her clothes. Ripped skinny jeans, scuffed boots, and a faded hoodie. Her eyes widened. She was wearing Jake's hoodie. A hoodie permanently infused with dog hair. No wonder Edward's face was so swollen!
"You're allergic to dogs!" Izzy exclaimed, leaping away from Edward. "Why didn't you say anything!"
"It's not so bad," Edward said, shrugging. "I'll have to get used to it eventually. Why not start now?"
Get used to swelling up like a balloon? How? Why?
"Emmett, stay here with Edward," Alice said. "I'll go find a nurse while Izzy changes."
"Really," Edward said, strengthening his grip on Izzy's hand. "I'm fine. There's no need to panic."
Fine. There was that word again. Edward wasn't fine and might never be fine.