SLAM!
Haruka blinked, a little startled by the sound of a slamming door as her mind snapped back to reality - she could have sworn there was a faint noise of grumbling male before the slamming.
She glanced around, recognizing the dimly lit bedroom of the hotel she usually frequented. Then she looked down, recalling the recent events upon seeing her bare and slightly sweating body on top of the messy bed. Her body then quickly shot up off the bed and paused to see a few money bills on the nearby table, as well as a used condom inside the trash-bin, before relaxing as she sighed with a mild irritation.
"Fuck…."
She ran her hand through her disheveled brown locks, blaming her current state of mind to the revelation she ran across the other day - the museum, those freaky ghosts and whatnot, that black dwarf freak, but most of all, that bald freak son of a bitch with surprisingly strong arms who she could not get off her mind.
Not to mention the fact that the stuff she saw in horror stories turned out to be quite real. For sometime, Haruka had been attempting to make sense of things, like whether all of them had been nothing but one helluva nightmare or something.
Her efforts ended up messing with her mind a little, to the point that Haruka had allowed some random guy to go all the way with her instead of the usual business. Did she think the sex would get her mind off things?
Who was she kidding - her mind was in fact too preoccupied with the other day's revelation that she was very fortunate that the guy did not do her raw and still left some cash for her.
Deciding that there was no use in dilly-dallying, Haruka checked on her cellphone and hit the showers.
Soon after, Haruka walked out of the bathroom and was greeted by the sight of a familiar smirking black creature sitting on the bed, where her clothes that were originally scattered around were now neatly folded on the nearby table.
"Took you long enough." Black remarked in greeting, "To be honest, I was starting to get bored waiting. You actually let that dude fucking ya, holy shit."
Ignoring how the creature got inside in the first place - Haruka scowled while glaring at the mysterious being, unperturbed that she was still in her birthday suit with only a single towel in hand.
"Shut it. You're also responsible for this." she glowered while continuing drying her hair.
"D'aww, widdle girl can't handle we twuth?" Black mocked as if talking to a baby, "Well, can't really blame ya, I guess. Anyways, I got a good planner set up for us, assuming you're still into that business deal I mentioned~"
Haruka narrowed her eyes at Black before she looked at the night sky outside the window. A few seconds later, she sighed, "...Fuck this, you have a place where we can talk?"
"Well… there is one place I know. Took me a while to find it but I managed with some tailing and some shake downs. It is a special place for those in the know. You in, little girl?"
Haruka quirked an eyebrow before she shrugged, "Alright, wait for me outside. I'll catch up to you soon." she replied as she went towards her clothes.
Black simply hop off the said bed and make his way out through the room window.
OxO
It was a Saturday, meaning that she did not have to wear her standard student uniform.
"So you're saying that the Baldy you're with is some kind of monster killer?"
Her clothing was more casual as she followed the strange alien creature, chatting to pass the time.
"The best there is, sweetcheeks. He doesn't kill unless provoked though. You want an army of demons gone? Call him and they'll be dead faster than you can blink. You have an Evil God threatening to end all of reality destroyed? He can do it and kill that shit."
"Pff. I didn't take you for a wanking sycophant." Haruka snarked at his remarks.
Black stopped in his tracks and turned around.
And looked at her straight in the eyes with a face so serious she was not sure if he was playing.
"Girl. I will say this once. You can mess with him like usual. But whatever you do, do NOT cross the forbidden line if you want to keep breathing."
Haruka was… slightly overwhelmed by the creature's serious face.
"But other than that, as long as you stick close to him, nothing can hurt you. Not like you can land an arrow in his heart, heh."
Then his usual annoying smirk returned before he waddled back on the sidewalk.
While taking Black's words in, Haruka glanced around and noticed that they had walked into more quiet roads.
"...Say, where are you taking me?" Haruka asked, subconsciously walking a tad slower to gain more distance from the creature in front of her.
Noticing her sudden caution, Black slightly chuckled under his breath, "Some place where I don't need to feel like a total freak show. It's just around that corner."
Haruka followed the creature.
Around the corner by the streetlight, Black waddled, then he stopped by the third door, a small cafe of sorts.
Closed for the weekends was the sign hung by the doorknob.
Haruka regarded Black with a raised eyebrow, which Black replied with a knowing smile as he gestured to follow while pushing the door open.
As Haruka followed suit, the bell attached to the door chimed, and the first thing she noticed was that the lights were on despite the apparent closing hours. The next thing she noticed was the bustling noise as she stepped inside the cafe. What truly caught her off guard, however, was the sight of the occupants inside.
Under the dim lights, tables were filled.
It was no different, people coming in and out to experience a warm cup of coffee, talking over cake and pastries served on platters, some half eaten in favor of conversation or peace and quiet.
The difference was that everyone here was not human.
Icy women with a cold presence that chilled the air, a chill that Haruka could feel from looking at them.
Crow men chatting over cake.
Humanoids with spider legs sticking from their backs and eight eyes, a humanoid fusion of spider and human, slurping their smoothies with ease.
People with more humane appearance, yet sporting animalistic features such as ears and tails on their persons.
"Welcome~!"
Haruka blinked when a waitress came and greeted them - a young woman with a lavender hair tied in a ponytail, where her bangs were split by a single horn jutting out of her forehead. She was also clad in a yukata and apron.
"Hey, sweet thing. Table for two, please~ oh, and get something sweet for the girl," Black winked at the cheerful Oni girl.
"Oh, it's you again! You still haven't told me what you are, though." She greeted Black.
"Like I said, I have no name, hehe."
"Oh, you. Hm? And you are…?" She turned to Haruka.
The girl was stunned by the sight of the Oni.
"She's one of those succubi coming here looking for new entertainment" Black waved off, earning a glare from Haruka.
"Oh, that's rare. Did you recently move here?" The Oni asked with a disarming smile.
"Er… yeah." Haruka nodded with a tight smile, reluctantly playing along with Black's ruse.
"Please, have a seat, then! I'll be back shortly!" The oni girl was very chipper.
At least Haruka thought that she was an oni… she behaved too human for her liking. Even skipped away into the kitchen like some brainless happy-go-lucky girl.
Black waddled to a table for two and took his seat.
Since he was short, only his tentacle barely reached over the table.
Until Black somehow elongated like a stretched noodle with stubby arms, smiling at Haruka with that punchable face.
Sighing, Haruka took the seat across the annoying creature.
"...What the hell did you bring me into?" She hissed at him.
"Some place I found. A welcome change, there's never a place like this where I'm from." Black answered.
"Okay, seriously, what the fuck are these guys?" Haruka cautiously glanced around, making sure that she would not get caught staring.
"Well, the locals. Rather, how come you didn't know these guys? I thought these kind of people are famous here?" Black gestured around.
"If they're famous, I would've seen them in the newspaper!" Haruka seethed.
"I mean famous folklore and myth. The cheery girl earlier is an oni. You know, popular ogre things in myth?"
Haruka stared at the creature for a moment.
"...An oni? You mean a man-eating creature from the Samurai years?"
"I know one Samurai but I don't think they're as impressive as him if you ask me. Also, onis don't eat people if you're wondering. So yeah, I think you can guess what the others are now." The noodle black creature smiled with his white face.
Haruka looked like she finally understood, "...You brought me to a Youkai den?!" She hissed in a whisper.
"They're harmless, trust me." He waved her off with his stubby right hand. "Now, pick and order something on the menu. We're gonna be here for a while, and you said to yourself that you're hungry."
Haruka glanced around before she took a look at the menu that had been prepared in advance on the table. She looked through the selections and the food they were selling were surprisingly… Normal, nothing out of ordinary.
At least until she arrived at the House Specialities section.
"...What is this bloody beef heart love stew?" Haruka asked.
"Exactly what it is. Some customers are pure carnivores. Cooked foods do nothing for those guys."
"...They sell frogs?" Haruka asked upon seeing another one on the menu.
"Different species, different preferences. Why, you want to try one? You should see the raw scorpions if you want to get crazy."
Haruka pursed her lips.
"...I'll take the ice-maiden parfait then." Haruka called to the same waitress from earlier who dutifully noted down her order.
"I'll have the Manticore Hamburg Steak; medium-well with house-made sauce and rice on the side." Black said his order as well.
Once the waitress had left to submit their orders, Haruka then returned to address her potential business associate.
"...Now let's move on, you little bastard. What are you trying to pull - making a deal with a random schoolgirl?" Haruka slapped the menu on the table.
"Because you're funny." Black's bastard smile widened.
Haruka glared at the imp with a growing desire to punch his face in.
"...Yeah, that's not convincing enough. Try again - why me?" Haruka asked pointedly.
Black pursed his lips, inwardly musing that the young woman before him was sharper than he thought.
"To be honest? I kind of see a bit of old me in you." Black answered.
Haruka blinked at the unexpected answer, her expression prompted Black to elaborate.
"...Well, maybe that's not the right word, but hear me out. When I saw you letting that guy fuck you, I thought you are nothing more than a simple whore looking for quick buck. But-" Black paused for a second, "I got curious and looked for the guy whose face was on that ID card in that stolen wallet. Luckily I have a good memory of faces and found him. He squealed easily to the boogeyman what you did to him. That was your first fuck wasn't it? Did the haunted night get to you so much that you needed sex to cope?"
Now that Haruka was listening to him, Black relaxed slightly on his seat, "I have a knack for reading people. You're a fighter in damsel's clothing - well, not punching and kicking kind of fighter, but your eyes spoke to me that you were once standing on top, fell down, yet you didn't give up and decided to climb your way up again, even though you got to lower yourself in front of those poor schmucks whose wallets you sucked up dry."
Black paused as the waitress who took their order returned with two glasses of free water.
Haruka took it as a chance for her to speak up, "Are you saying you also used to seduce a bunch of guys or whatever before blackmailing them back in the day?" she asked with a mild teasing tone while taking a sip of her water.
"Not really - I kind of just jumped on them and ate them."
Haruka choked on her drink, coughing out the water out of her pipe.
"You… You eat people?" She wheezed as she suddenly feared for her life.
"Used to. Don't have much choice of good food and I didn't have access to restaurants back home because I look like this," Black trailed off before shrugging knowingly. "I now prefer my protein to be well-cooked anyway, and I'm kind of too lazy to cook my own food."
"That doesn't make me feel any better. I feel like telling you that I don't taste that good, that guy who shagged me earlier might have caught a disease, so you may catch something bad if you do eat me." Haruka retorted while pressing herself back against her seat.
Black snorted, "Cute, but back on track - why did I pick you? Well…." Black shrugged again, "Why not you? You're kind of entangled with the crazy side of this world, already. Honestly, I want to have fun here until it's time for us to leave. And you just happen to be the most fun human I met since landing on this rock."
Haruka noticed his wording.
"Leave? What do you mean by 'leave'?"
"Exactly as you said. I'm not staying long. So is the Baldy."
"What? Why?" Haruka didn't understand.
"Simple - We kind of don't belong here, even by supernatural standards. If I don't belong by normal or supernatural standards… guess where I am from if not from this world?"
Haruka noticed his wording and carefully deduced his blatant insinuations.
"...You're a fucking alien?"
"Bingo! Me and the Baldy ain't from this rock, girlie." Black cackled. "We landed here weeks ago. Not by choice, mind you. We're busy finding a way home so I want to kill time before we do."
Haruka had trouble digesting the information as she pictured Saitama and Black being not from this world.
Even by supernatural standards, it was hard to differentiate the origins of the weird and abnormal.
She had many questions as she compared the two together…
"Wait a minute… is the baldy some kind of freakish thing like you?" She pointed at Black, recalling the baldy's supernatural weird bullshit.
"...Good question." Black pursed his lips. "That's something I've been asking myself since I met the guy. Put it bluntly, he looks and talks like a human, feels human, but he is so strong that he should not be labeled as a human - If you catch my drift. You've seen what he did a little right? That isn't even the tip of the iceberg."
"Really? How so?"
"If you really wanted to be wowed, find some bloodthirsty monster thing and sic it on the baldy. Hell, find a dragon and pit it against him."
Haruka was not sure why Black was suggesting an impossible versus matchup to prove his point.
"The point is, he's not what he seems. Not gonna get into it because words don't do him justice, you'll just have to see it for yourself. Anyways, I got a fun gig for ya. Imagine what you are doing to simple mooks… only this time, you're going for the BIGGER fish. With some help that is~"
The bastard started cackling insidiously with a smile that failed to hide his evil.
Haruka hummed as she folded her arms on the table, "To be honest, as much as enticing the amount of money I can get should I agree to your proposal… I'm gonna need something else other than money, after listening to your story. This…. Supernatural stuff you've been introducing me sounds really fucking scary."
"Hah, like what? You want superpowers?" Black snarked with a snarking smile. "It's easy to get some where I'm from, but it has a price. Here, I read that you have to make a deal with a Devil or something for that."
"How cliche. Actually, now that you mention it - do demons and devils exist?" Haruka asked with a mild curiosity.
"Only Devils. Not sure on the Demons though…" Black tilted his head.
"They are different?" Haruka slightly tilted her head.
"No, I mean, there are only Devils, just… there's no mention of any demons whatsoever. I have a Devil source to back me up. The only demon-like things are Devils that turned into monsters called Chimeras or whatever devils got high on drugs and power steroids…. And maybe some creatures they use as familiars…"
"Then… do angels exist too? Even gods?" Haruka asked more.
"Never met an angel, but yes. 'Gods', however…" Black wiggled his hand. "Well, not any god here. I saw a GOD back where I'm from… but he is also the reason why I'm here in the first place - Why we're here."
"Right…" Haruka nodded with more questions in her mind, which she would shelf for the time being. "Back to business - what's gonna happen to me if I refuse your offer?"
"Oh, nothing. The only thing you're gonna suffer is the taboo knowledge that monsters are real and that you cut off your only contact in the supernatural for help if shit hits the fan."
Haruka narrowed her eyes - on one hand, her pride wanted to tell this shrimp to shove it and leave; but on the other hand, her rational part was warning her that what happened to her in that museum might happen again. Unlikely, but the possibility was there.
In addition, there was also no way she could just walk away and pretend all of this never happened.
But then again…. Considering her current goal, what if…?
"By any chance, do you have any contact or connection to… some kind of supernatural assassin or something?"
Black blinked at the question, "…Okay, I didn't see that one coming. What gives?"
"Just answer me - do you or do you not?"
Black regarded the woman before him with a contemplating look.
"Depending on the job… You might as well be talking to one right now. I may look like this, but I can fight you know? You're looking at a hardened war veteran. Hell, back in the day - my folks rated me as something as fearsome as a dragon."
Haruka was about to make a witty retort when the smell of food interrupted her.
"Here ya go!"
The oni waitress chimed as she handed Haruka the Ice Maiden parfait and the manticore hamburg steak with rice dish to Black.
"Thanks, sweetie." Black handed her a thousand yen bill to the waitress, who returned with a wink.
The dwarf creature then clapped his hands together, "Welp, now the food is here, let's dig in first, eh? We can talk later or while eating. Whichever is good to you."
Haruka stared at Black then regarded her parfait.
"Let's talk. How does this… even work in the first place?" Haruka asked, taking a scoop of her cold treats.
"Oh, I got a few things in mind, but let's settle your end of the deal. You want superhuman powers, right?"
"I do, but… You said that comes with a price. What price are we talking about here?"
Black chewed and swallowed another piece of meat before replying, "From where I came from, usually your humanity."
Haruka paused, "…What do you mean, 'usually'?"
"There are exceptions. There are humans that work for their power, or become cyborgs, some others are born with psychic powers. Here? I don't know. I heard you need a 'Sacred Gear' to become something exceptional, whatever that is." Black rolled his eyes as he started slicing into his steak.
Black's unclear answer got Haruka into thinking - the creature did say he was some sort of alien, didn't he?
"So you don't know much yourself how the so-called superpowers work here?"
"I won't say that, they still work kind of similarly, but… Yeah, I guess I can be wrong with details."
"…Then aren't you useless?"
Haruka glared at the imp.
"Making a deal with a Devil should work unless I'm missing something. Other than that, I can hook you up with some guns if you give me some time. Maybe some supernatural firearms if I'm lucky enough." Black nommed the slice of meat and chewed.
"Anyways, here."
Black's tentacle whipped a flier. Where he got that despite having no pockets, she did not know as she stared at it.
For some reason, the writings and pictures on the flier looked familiar. Nonetheless, Haruka accepted and stared at the paper.
"Once we're done eating, we'll give this devil summoning a go and let's see where it leads."
"...What if I have to… like to sell my soul or something?"
"You tell me. How bad do you want your wish to be granted?" Black answered. "Not like I can imagine what use they have for yours."
Haruka frowned at his insinuation.
Black forked another slice of his meat and threw it to his mouth, chewing audibly before gulping.
A minute later, Haruka then proceeded to take scoop after scoop of her parfait, wolfing the whole treat down to the point that her face grimaced when she eventually got herself a brain-freeze.
While eating, Black watched in amusement at the sight of Haruka massaging her throbbing head.
"...Finish your damn steak and let's get down to business. We'll see how much weight you got in those words." Haruka declared, earning a smirk from Black.
"Alright, let's see… the pentagram's angles should be congruent to each other. Hope the circle doesn't have to be perfectly round…"
Black muttered as they got to work. The creature was drawing a circle by pouring some sort of crimson liquid from a plastic bottle.
"I'm probably gonna regret asking this, but what's that you're pouring?" Haruka asked while watching the process.
"Blood." Black casually replied while kept working, "...And in case you are wondering, it's not human blood. It's just some cattle's blood."
Sometime later, a roughly drawn pentagram was on the ground. Haruka and Black were standing on some clearing at the edge of the town, preparing the ritual to summon the devil per Black's story.
Black then nodded to Haruka, "Alright, lady. Stand by the edge of the circle while holding the slip I gave you, and… Pray or whatever for your wish and whatnot. Step back when the circle starts glowing."
Haruka eyed the creature and the piece of summoning paper in her hands, before she did as instructed. True to Black's words - a few seconds later, the pentagram beneath her feet began to glow and Haruka quickly took a few steps back to witness the magic working.
Once the circle finished glowing, another presence was conjured into existence, pulled by the call of the summoning circle.
Haruka's smile widened at the sight of the gorgeous woman in aristocratic clothes.
Black's smile fell when he saw Cleria Belial standing before Haruka.
"...Oh, shit."
He was hoping for that cute mummy girl Queen Cleopatra instead of Cleria at least.
"...You." Cleria muttered as she narrowed her eyes at her summoner.
Haruka flinched - She knew a gaze of ire when she saw one. And for some reason, the dark-skinned woman with platinum-blonde hair was eerily familiar… Where did she see her before? She swore it was recent.
"How did you get my clan's summoning charm?" Cleria began with the question, but she soon noticed the puzzled look on Haruka's face.
Cleria barely glanced around when she noticed a familiar-looking dwarf creature standing next to the young woman.
"Black? Do you know this girl?" Cleria then turned to address Haruka, "...And you know this creature?"
Haruka blinked and turned to the aforementioned creature, "...You two know each other?" She asked while darting her point-finger between Black and the otherworldly-looking woman.
"...Yeah? Why are you asking?" Black asked the devil with equal confusion.
"Because she isn't supposed to be able to summon us." Cleria simply replied, garnering another look from Haruka, "Black… Did you give her your summoning paper?"
"Yeah? Why? I still don't get why you're asking these… What's wrong with Haruka?" Black noticed the theme.
"Because she is on the list." Cleric replied.
"List? What list? What are you on about?" Black returned.
He did not hear anything about a list.
Cleric glanced at Haruka before replying, "Nearly a month ago, this young woman summoned one of my servants to assist her for some…. Unsavory endeavors above their moral boundaries. Following some altercation from her, I decided to put her name on our black list and ban her from summoning us ever again."
Black blinked at Haruka who looked equally confused.
"You've summoned her before?"
"I… I don't know!" Haruka turned to the devil in question, "You! If I have summoned you before, how come I never recalled anything?!"
"To ensure those on black list won't repeat the same mistake, we erase their memories and keep our servants and familiars from making contact with them."
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!" Black raised his hands. "...You can tamper with our minds?"
Cleria merely shrugged, "Not that hard, really."
"Whoa, wait, wait, wait, time out." Haruka interjected, "You're saying I met one of you people and you guys made me forget? What the fuck!?" She glared at Cleria.
"What did she order for you to make her go amnesiac on the ban list?" Black asked.
Cleria paused as she silently stared at the alien black creature. Looking at Haruka once more, Cleria then gave a small, silent sigh.
"...I have no obligations to divulge this information to you, but it has something to do with her past." Cleria then pointed her palm towards Haruka, where the magic circle bearing the crest of the Belial clan suddenly appeared in front of the latter's face.
Haruka winced at the sudden exposure before her eyes went hazy, her body wobbled slightly before she dropped to her knees.
While Haruka was yet to return back to her senses, Cleria nodded to Black.
"I believe tonight's business has been concluded. I now have to return and review our measures on banned contractors to prevent this incident from happening again. Feel free to do what you wish about her. Have a good night, Mr. Black."
While Black just figured out what had taken place, Cleria smiled one last time before she teleported herself away.
"...Oh, and if you don't mind, please send Saitama and Genos my regards."
Black stared at Cleria absent-mindedly as she vanished before his face.
"...Ugh… hey, you… Oh, wow my head." Haruka called out before she began to massage her head.
"What… happened? When did we… Why are we out in the open like this?" Haruka asked, completely oblivious to the series of events and dialogue that transpired today.
"...Well…" Black was not sure how to handle this one, "Um… Wanna head back to that eatery for a drink? You might want to sit down."
OxO
"...What."
Haruka stared bemusedly at Black who had finished explaining to her what happened.
"You heard me - I have no idea of how else I should tell ya." Black replied as he took another sip of his tea.
Haruka looked down at her own tea - both of them were back sitting at the yokai eatery from earlier. She closed her eyes as she felt a headache coming.
"...So the summoning failed because…"
"Turns out, that using my self-procured blood summoned something else and gave you a mind wipe."
Black couldn't just say that Haruka fucked herself over beforehand. It would be too cruel… and hilarious to tell her that she tripped over her own foot for aiming too high.
"Right." Haruka exhaled, "...Well, what now? You have one last shot to convince me to hear you out some more, coz I'm getting pretty tired now."
"Alright, alright, alright. How about this? I am kinda against it because it only works on Devils buuuuut… if you give me some time, I think I can score you some training from a… uh… exiled Exorcist. Trained to kill Devils with anti-devil weapons and stuff. The whole shebang."
"No way, training sounds like a pain." Haruka scoffed.
"And here I thought you want to be something more than just a helpless girl in the face of the supernatural." Black scoffed in return.
"Yeah, but do I really have to train? Aren't there ways to… y'know, making me super strong like your hocus-pocus and shit?"
"With that mindset? You're gonna die easy, girl. No matter what kind of power ups you get. Trust me, I've seen plenty of humans-turned-monster dying in droves. I was once part of an organization, you see. Got my ass owned by humans that called themselves heroes, too."
"Sounds like you're living a dream." Haruka quipped.
"Hah! Keep talking and see where that takes you. I've seen shit, girl. More than your average Joe mind can comprehend. Whatever common sense you have won't work in the world I live in. If you're still too dumb to learn your lesson, then how about this? Getting the power up ain't the end goal. It's to help you with your new beginning. And how far you can bring yourself up depends on you - and you are lazy and impotent, destined to fall flat on your ass in your grave."
"Yeah, yeah, tell me something I haven't heard already." Haruka waved.
The two then fell into an awkward silence, with Haruka lightly swirling her tea around by her cup, with Black watching her for a few moments.
Black then spoke up, "…Now that I think about it, what's your story? You asked me about the supernatural assassin. You got a grudge to settle?"
Haruka was holding her cup with her free hand as she casted a sidelong glance at the creature.
"...Do you really want to hear about my lame story?"
"Well, you got me invested in your background, that's for sure."
Mostly, the sole cause for her to be on the ban list. Honestly, Black's first person of interest and she was on the blacklist for Devils. This was more interesting than he thought.
Haruka stared at Black for another few seconds before she took another sip of her drink, "...Once upon a time, there was a daughter amongst several. Her family is well off, and she was expected to have the inheritance for herself… so she did whatever she had to do to get it."
"Hoh?" Black had a hunch. "That terse are we? So you're an expert in fucking yourself over?"
"I didn't fuck myself over." Haruka nearly growled at the remark, before she composed herself by taking a longer sip, "...I was betrayed."
Black blinked, not expecting the twist, "...Okay, call me nosey, but I think you need to go a bit more specific about that."
Thus, the next 30 minutes were spent with Haruka, albeit reluctantly, spilling her life story to Black, who in a rare case of courtesy, sat down and listened to the entire story without interrupting, only taking a drink every now and then.
"Oh, wow." Black began once Haruka was done, "...Wooooooow. That explains your persona. I know I was right to pick you as entertainment! I mean. Wow! Seriously, I didn't expect that under that tough girl act!"
"So you just want entertainment, after all…" Haruka replied with a wry smile.
Ignoring Haruka's remark, Black carried on, "So when you asked me about assassins, you want their help in getting back to… Whoever's wronged you, and get your inheritance back?"
"Pretty much, but… On second thought, maybe assassins are a bit too much. I mean…" Haruka then smiled vindictively, "...I think death is too kind for them."
Black chuckled in return, "...Yeah, I think I like ya even more. So, about my proposal? Are you in or not?"
"Depends on what I can get in return." Haruka shrugged.
"Since you're much better than I thought, how about this? Exclusive tutoring from me, the war veteran himself." Black pointed at himself with his tentacle. "...And I'll get you any kind of gear you need to kill any supernatural bullshit. Hell, I'll let one of me stay with ya to back ya up. You can't get better protection than this against the inhumans. Oh, and your share of the moolah."
Haruka pursed her lips, albeit her eyes were curious, "Hm… Tell me a bit more of what you're gonna tutor me, what kind of gear to be precise and most importantly…. How much of this 'moolah'?"
"Hey, you want to know how to fight beasties, I am your man. I faced every fighting style and supernatural bullshit the best the shit my world threw at me. Also, fifty fifty. What'd ya think? Interested? I ain't a gentle coach, ya know?"
Haruka hummed before she met Black's gaze, "...One last thing - do you think we can sway that baldy to… you know… help me sort out my dirty closet…?"
Black understood the double meaning.
"Whew… Well, he's not dumb enough to give you money til he's bankrupt. You have no idea how tall that order is, missy. You can climb over that wall if you're lucky, but I can't really imagine that guy wanting to help you with 'that'… directly. He's not that kind of guy. Although… " his smirk returned, "If in any unlikely chance that you can convince him to help you… You have no idea how much I wanted to use his OP baldy powers for personal gain. I'll let you take all of it if you could pull it off."
Haruka suppressed her smirk; assuming Black's story about Saitama was true - to be honest, why bother with arduous labor if there was a shortcut she could take? Not to mention she still had a score to settle with the guy, what better revenge than making him groveling under her feet?
"...You live together with that baldy, don't ya? Tell me everything about him, and you get yourself a deal."
Black silently sighed - well, if she wanted to play it that way….
"I didn't live with him all my life, but if you want a story of a lifetime, hoo boy. We're gonna be here a while, girl.
Within the lonely Saint Adonai church residing in Kuoh, the base of Japan's Vatican branch, Masaomi presented a folder to the mahogany desk of Touji Shidou.
His superior was skeptical.
It was afternoon, where the sun began to descend to the horizon - the orange light peered through the squared windows and enlightened the Touji's office, bathing the tranquil room and the two within.
Touji Shidou put down the folder of his subordinate's daily report on his desk, having read the papers inside which entailed Masaomi's report and testimony about this new individual named 'Saitama'.
Their encounter was brief, yet the bald man with an egg for a head and a face so plain drawn on the egg it was comical… It was the only summary that Touji could describe this man at first sight.
Yet, Masaomi - one of his trusted subordinates spoke highly of him. That is understandable, considering this Saitama fellow had saved his life. Touji was skeptical about Masaomi's description of Saitama's superhuman potential.
He queried if this Saitama was human at the very least… which led Touji to question that himself but later affirmed that Saitama was no devil in disguise. However, no devil could enter Masaomi's home and not be affected by the blessed shrine of Christ.
For now, at least, he was willing to meet this man to conclude his judgment, as well as give him proper thanks for saving Masaomi from peril.
"Hmmmm…" Touji paused and hummed to himself. "Did you perform research on this Saitama by any chance?"
"I did." Masaomi nodded from his seat across Touji, "Though, I'm afraid there's nothing worth looking into about his background. I once asked him whether he had joined any particular school or sect that may have given him his power, but… According to him, all he did was simple muscle training and daily exercise."
"Hm… Attempt to sneak a sample of his saliva to me. We need to test if he is human at the very least."
Masaomi understood. Saitama's companions were a bit too odd… even by Cleria Belial's standards.
"As for other matters, I am afraid that our supplies are a bit low…" Touji sadly sighed. His lips twitched into a small smile, "...Luckily the supermarket is hosting a bargain sale."
He then procured several shopping coupons, "And luckily again, Mirana gave me a fair share of these coupons for us to use."
Masaomi smiled knowingly, "This might sound like an exaggeration, your fiancee is a godsend."
Touji wanted to retort with something else. Still, he settled by replying, "...Indeed, she is."
It was a shame that their branch was not as invested… but such is the challenge from The Lord.
They left St. Adonai, and walked towards the most popular supermarket in Kuoh as they chatted.
"Did you get a chance to see Lord Michael during the incident?" Masaomi asked as they walked down the street side by side, discussing the incident with the breach of the Dimensional Gap.
"I did, but unfortunately, Lord Michael's investigation with the other Seraphs still bears no result. The only silver lining we have is there have been no major incidents following the breach in the Gap for the past months."
"Ah, shame. Is he as splendid as the Bible depicted?"
"I haven't had the honor of spending more time working with him, but as far as I know, Archangel Michael is not the God's Right Hand for nothing."
It did not take long until the two exorcists made it to their intended Yo Go supermarket.
The scent of air conditioner and fruits laid in rows outside the doors mingled and tingled their noses as they walked through the sliding doors.
Shelved canned goods greeted their sight and, to their expectations, crowds with tight budgets swiftly browsed the aisles for special discounts, hunting for the low price bargains like predators searching for sheep, some hands fighting other hands, swatting for some, for the prize.
"Gimme that!"
"That's mine!"
"Hands off my lettuce!"
"Please, dear customers! Please settle down!"
Staff members waved sign poles to manage the ravenous swarm of discount predators, trying to break up the grabbing fights for the last remaining few.
To little to no avail.
"Well, here we go. Do you still remember the list we need to buy?" Touji asked Masaomi, unperturbed by the mob mentality.
"I do, sir. May The Lord bless us with bountiful and affordable purchases this afternoon." Masaomi replied with his hand performing a cross-sign, which was mirrored by Touji.
"Amen. Now, let us search the meat section. We've abstained with bread for too long." Touji winked at Masaomi.
Their main diet was a staple of bread due to their poor budget. It could drive a man insane with… certain cravings for more.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing with my beef special!?"
However, a familiar voice caught Masaomi's ears as he turned towards that direction.
"...Saitama?" He blinked.
"What do you think I'm doin'?!" The girl, young and in a schoolgirl uniform, snapped back with her hands on the box of high-grade beef.
On which Saitama's hand was held as well.
Saitama simply raised his eyebrows as if silently asking 'really?' before replying, "...Do you even cook?"
"So what if I do? Got a problem with that?"
"Shouldn't girls like you like fast food restaurants or something?"
The girl looked a bit funnily at Saitama before retorting, "The hell do you mean by that?! If I eat junk foods everyday then I'd have died from cholesterol overload ages ago! Let go of my meat!" she inwardly grimaced at the sound of her last sentence.
"My point stands! You just mentioned cholesterol! Young ladies like you shouldn't eat too much beef like this!" Saitama argued back, as he merely maintained his hold while the girl struggled to even budge the meat in his hands.
"Hey, who's the one with a paying job?! I'm on a tight budget!"
The sight of the girl struggling to pull the boxed meat from Saitama's hand was comical, as the baldy remained casually still with an irritated frown.
He did not budge like a planted statue even when the girl placed a foot on his stomach for the extra pull, all three limbs struggling to yank the thing out of his grip with all her weight frantically pushed back.
"Where'd you get your money anyways? Part time?" Saitama asked.
"None of your business! Give. Me. Your. Fucking. Meat!" she shouted with each tug.
While watching the man whose appearance matched Masaomi's story with the girl, Touji asked his subordinate, "Masaomi, is that…?"
"I… Believe so, sir." Masaomi nodded, as he began to feel that the sight had become pitiful by seconds.
Eventually, Masaomi took a step forward and approached the quarreling couple(?), "...Saitama?"
Saitama blinked and turned towards the exorcist, while still maintaining his hold on his groceries, "Oh, you're that priest, um….. Tsukuyomi?"
"Masaomi." The said priest corrected patiently. "Are you coming after the bargain sale as well? May I be of assistance with your… Issues with this young lady?"
"Eh, not sure if that is smart…"
Saitama trailed off while pursing his lips. He remained unfazed even when the girl started punching his cheek. He did not look bothered or hurt; his perpetual face of boredom did not react to her in the slightest.
Seeing the struggling girl, Masaomi decided to take a different angle, "Um, miss? Perhaps if you would be so kind as to calm down and let the meat go? I am sure we can reach a mutual agreement."
The girl huffed before she turned to Masaomi with harshed pants, her expression was looking as if she was about to snap at any moment.
"...And who the fuck might you be?" to her credit - despite the crass choice of words, she still decided to humor the cleric.
"Just a humble acquaintance of my friend here. Ah, yes. Saitama, I would like to introduce you to my superior while we have the chance." Masaomi turned and gestured to the cleric in casual clothes.
On cue, the other priest stepped forward and introduced himself, "A pleasure to meet you. Saitama, am I correct? My name is Touji Shidou, my friend Masaomi here spoke highly of you."
"Um, nice to meet you too. I'm Saitama." The man nodded.
The men then turned to the only girl in their conversation, expecting her to introduce herself.
Seeing that there was no way out, the girl delivered, "...Haruka. So? What's the deal now? Are you two gonna help me get my food back from this cue-ball here?"
"...May I ask what is your relationship with Saitama here?" Masaomi asked.
"Err…" Saitama was looking a tad awkward as he was not sure what to answer.
However, in a split second before Haruka responded, an idea sprung in her mind - giving her a devious smile before she quickly latched onto Saitama's arm.
"I'm his girlfriend!" Haruka instantly shouted, putting the best smile she could muster while pressing her front against Saitama's arm.
Upon receiving the looks from the priests, Saitama's face instantly descended with aghast shock, jaws dropping and the way his face looked in despair was delicious to Haruka's impish delight.
Then he started vehemently shaking his head at the other pair, "No, no, we are nothing like that. Don't listen to what she says." He retorted before sending Haruka a 'what the fuck' look.
"Unfortunately, he's a stingy guy. So please help me sort him out and teach him how to treat a lady right, would you?" Haruka continued while putting up her signature puppy eyed look, hoping to sway the other men to her favor.
Touji and Masaomi exchanged glances, before they turned to look at Saitama who returned their gaze with a pleading look and a brief shake of his head. They then returned to regard the young woman, who raised her eyebrows expectantly..
The pair of Men of God then came up with an alternative.
To be continued…
Bonus: Blast to The Past
"Mrs. Hyoudou! It has been so long!"
The girls of Hyoudou Residence watched as the matriarch hugged a female oni yokai clad in a modest waitress-kimono. They were currently sitting on the table within an establishment - a certain restaurant that catered to supernaturals every weekend and normal humans on weekdays.
"Umiho!" Haruka, a mature adult compared to the feisty teenage girl struggling to make ends meet, hugged the oni woman as the two shared a warm embrace.
"How are you?! It's been so long that I was worried you forgot about us!"
"Oh, how could I ever forget about this place? I mean, this is a huge part of my precious memories! And this place is much bigger than I remember…"
The diner looked like a proper restaurant at this point, larger and can cater to tens now, large round tables scattered with seats neatly pushed in, cutlery and dishes arranged in equidistant symmetry.
"You suddenly left without a word. I mean… Oh my, look at him!" She beamed a smile at the bald egghead waving casually at her.
"Yo. How are the kids?" Saitama waved with a smile. "Heard you got another coming along the way."
"They're wonderful! And you haven't aged a single wrinkle! You're still the same egg-headed man!" the she-oni rubbed her belly - there was a small baby-bump if one were to carefully feel it with their hand.
"Hah! What about me, sweetcheeks?! Hope you didn't forget your favorite customer~!"
Another familiar face waddled out from behind Saitama.
Black smiled at the girl as he waved. Although he looked absolutely ridiculous, covered in pimpin' gold, dressed like a gangster with a golden crown and scepter in hand, covered in golden jewels and glitter.
Gaudy and silly.
Yet it brought Umiho joy.
"Oh, you! How can I forget that little shape?! And you're wearing silly things too! Come, come in!" Umiho held Haruka's hands. "Let me introduce you to my kids! Oh, and if you want, I can introduce my girls to your son~" Umiho winked at Haruka.
"Oh?" Haruka's eyes glittered in amusement before she trailed to the girls who were watching from their seats - all of them were giving her the 'look', some of them even subtly shook their heads, not wanting to have more competition.
Asia, Irina, and Xenovia were curious about meeting Haruka's friend, someone she made in the past when she was their age.
The Church Trio was curious, and they saw the opportunity to ask what their pre-marriage years were like.
Though the mention of introducing more girls to Issei made Asia frown and whimper while Irina was still frantically shaking her head at the matriarch.
There was only so much a man could handle. Even by Saitama's standards.
"Hmmmm, why not show it to the girls behind me first? Oh, and one of them is my son's childhood friend~" Haruka winked back.
"Oh~, lucky you." Umiho giggled. "Come, have a seat! The girls will be here shortly!"
With the waitress happily skipping to the kitchen - the adults finally rejoined the girls at the table.
"So is this where you had your first date?" Akeno asked with a twinkle in her eyes, she was kind of a sucker for this kind of love story.
"Yes." Haruka smiled as she rested her head on her husband's shoulder. "And this is also the place where Black showed me the Supernatural world. Told me everything he could about the hidden world living alongside the one I know…"
"Now that I think about it, how did you meet each other in the first place?" Rias asked while gesturing at Haruka, Saitama and Black.
"Oh, that's a funny story. So, who wants to hear how my husband threw me into the trash on our first meeting?"
Saitama did a spit-take, nearly coughing while Haruka smiled cheekily at the girls, who were now looking oddly at him.
Now that they think about it…
"...For some reason, I can see that happening," Irina admitted. She started to giggle upon imagining an angry Haruka's reaction.
"Yeah, it's before we started dating. She's kind of… not herself at the time." Saitama admitted.
"Was she angry?" Xenovia asked, the blue-haired girl curious.
"Oh, yeah. Very pissed. Swore to get back at him as well. Though I didn't know he was an indestructible baldy." Haruka giggled before she took a quick peck on Saitama's cheek.
"Hmmm, now I am curious. What were you like before you got married?" Akeno asked.
"Oh, that's a long story. So, where to start…"
"Order up!"
Three oni girls in yukatas, cheerful teenage girls in green, blue, and orange skin skipping towards them with steaming plates of various dishes in their hands.
"My, we haven't even read the menu!" Haruka remarked, albeit her expression was far from displeased.
"We still remember your favorite, ma'am! And some of these are new dishes, so they are on the house as long as you give us your valuable feedback!" the oni girl in green replied with a hearty grin as the youkai girls placed the plates down on the table, steaming dishes of exotic meat and vegetables placed around the center.
While everyone was busy regarding and admiring the food served to them, the entrance bell rang, showing more patrons coming in.
[Ise!]
The girls beamed upon seeing Issei walking in with Genos in tow.
"Yo. What'd I miss?" Issei waved.
"We've arrived. Pardon the intrusion." Genos greeted with a curt nod.
Rover waddled beside Issei. Koneko tensed at the sight of the dog moving closer to her since Asia was sitting beside her.
"Hey." Azazel joined in after. "Hope you guys don't mind more added to your little outing. Can't blame a guy for being curious."
However, the surprise did not end with the Scapegoat.
"Hoh, since when has a place like this been around?"
"'Sup, nya~?"
"Pardon us."
"G-good day, everyone!" Le Fay kindly bowed to the Hyoudou family.
Soon the members of Vali team also followed in, with the leader silently regarded the place with a mild curious gaze.
"Looks like this is gonna be a bigger gathering than I thought." Saitama mused.
"Oh, the kids are just deathly curious about how the strongest man came to be here." Haruka giggled.
The restaurant became cramped as everyone gathered and took their seats. Issei was immediately swarmed by the girls competing over who could take his attention the most, much to his small chagrin, while everyone else watched in amusement over foods and drinks served.
Around the corner of the restaurant, was a section where customers and patrons may placed their photographs and pictures to commemorate their visits - a few of them depicted Saitama and Haruka in their younger days - smearing each other with ketchups, condiments and booze while grinning happily like a couple of idiots.