Author's Note- Hello, Sorry about the long wait. Dropped a cup of coffee on my laptop. It's been having issues and I'm probably going to have to take it in to get it looked at. Hopefully, this long chapter will help make up for the wait. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 48

Working Out The Trauma

"Enough!" Severus yelled from the open door of the Room of Requirements.

The spells that had been flying around the room suddenly stopped and two pairs of eyes met his. Sparkling green and steely silver.

Severus stepped into the room with a scowl firmly in place on his face. He felt a brush against his shoulder as Minerva stepped up next to him.

Both boys stood completely still. Draco's arm was wrapped around his chest like he had aggravated his ribs and Harry was wheezing heavily.

This had been a mistake. When he'd sent the boys to bed last night, he hadn't thought about the next day being Friday. When he had awoken, he'd smelt breakfast cooking and when he'd arrived in the kitchen both boys were sitting in silence at the table. Breakfast sitting in the middle.

The tension had been thick, but they had eaten quickly. Once the meal had been cleaned up they had looked at him expectantly.

They had quickly floo'd to Hogwarts and Harry had reluctantly led them to the Room of Requirements. Severus had been sure that Harry saw Draco as an enemy and felt like he was sharing something secret.

Severus had told them in no uncertain terms they were not going to be dueling with one another today. They would be practicing with the dummies. They had worked without comment and Severus had felt things were going as well as could be expected.

Draco had approached with a question not ten minutes ago. When he felt he could not accurately answer the question he instructed them to keep practicing and left the room to find Minerva.

When they had opened the door, the room had been alight with spell fire.

Severus cursed his stupidity at leaving them alone. He cursed Albus for putting him in this position.

"Would one of you care to explain what part of 'no dueling' wasn't clear enough." Severus growled.

Harry sent a heated look at Draco. His whole body was tense, and his jaw was set in anger.

Draco tipped his head up like he had nothing to be ashamed of. The pompous expression was so like Lucius. The boy thought he could do no wrong.

When neither of them said anything, Severus strode further into the room.

"You will both be on restriction. I am extremely disappointed in both of you." Severus said. His hands clasped behind his back as he looked them both over. He did not bother to hide his displeasure. Neither of them was in any condition to be dueling.

"You will begin now. Two feet on safety in dueling and the importance of minding your instructor. You will also be writing an apology to Professor McGonagall for your deplorable behavior. As well as wasting her time. she was coming here to answer your questions." Severus seethed.

He thought that he could trust Harry not to disobey him. He thought they had reached a good place. Draco should have known better. He had been in Severus' house for five years and under his eye for his whole life. He knew better than to disregard what Severus said.

Given that neither boy looked seriously injured and the room wasn't on fire, Severus assumed Draco had started the fight. He didn't know for sure and neither of them was speaking up. They were both guilty of disregarding his rules. They would both be punished.

Harry's head dropped.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." Harry mumbled out meekly.

Severus' eyes moved to Draco, who still looked haughty but perhaps a little less defiant.

"Yes, sir." Draco said coldly, while he held Severus eye.

Severus bit his tongue to keep himself from scolding them further. They knew they were in the wrong.

"Come with me Draco." Severus said as he turned and walked towards the exit.

"Minerva. Please stay with Harry." Severus said quietly as he passed her.

She nodded, though her eyes were glued to the dark-haired boy still standing in the middle of the room.

When the door closed behind Draco, Severus turned to look him over.

"Are you injured?" Severus asked.

Draco sneered.

"Like Potter could do anything to me." Draco spat.

Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Severus knew the amount of power that Harry possessed. Had he intended to cause harm, he certainly would have been able to.

"Are your ribs bothering you?" Severus said, with a pointed glance at the boy's arm. It had remained protectively wrapped around him.

Draco glanced down and glared back at Severus.

"Just turned weird. I'm fine." Draco stated and dropped his arm.

Severus raised a questioning eyebrow before he pulled out his wand.

"I'm not a child. My ribs are fine Severus." Draco spat.

Severus clenched his jaw and met the defiant stare of his godson.

"Humor me then. The last time your ribs were injured you nearly bled to death. That is not a childhood bump Draco." Severus growled back.

Severus knew that the anger he was now expressing to Draco was really hiding worry. He had genuinely thought he was going to lose the boy in the hospital wing. Just another casualty in this war.

Draco's face finally relaxed, and he looked away with a little guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Draco whispered.

Severus nodded and waved his wand over him. The diagnostic showed a slight strain of the muscles near the previously injured ribs. He was right, there wasn't any other damage. Which meant Harry hadn't landed even a single stinging hex on Draco.

"Take this for the pain." Severus said, withdrawing a pain potion from his pocket.

Draco nodded and took it.

While Severus was tucking the vial back into his robes he began to speak.

"You are an intelligent person Draco. You know that you are in a precarious position at the moment. You have defied the Dark Lord. You will be a target for the rest of this war, if not longer. That mark on your arm will define the rest of your life. You will not find allies easily on either side of this war. It would be in your best interest to not make more enemies for yourself." Severus said as he watched Draco. His jaw and fists clenched tightly.

"I know you are struggling. This summer has not been kind to you. However, you need to step away from the thinking that you are the only one struggling. We are at war, Draco. This summer has been difficult for many, myself included." Severus said a little stiffly, thinking about his own escape from Malfoy manor.

"You will spend the next two days thinking about who you want to be. You are being given the opportunity to change. Be more than the spoiled bigoted child your father strived to raise. Be more than that Draco. Learn what you can and make your own decisions about things." Severus said.

Draco said nothing and stared resolutely past Severus.

Severus wanted to sigh.

"Remain here." Severus instructed as he made his way back to the room.

Harry dragged the back of his arm across his forehead. Yesterday was a mess. Malfoy had started calling him names and trying to start a fight and when he refused to react, he had started hexing him. Snape had walked into a rather obvious duel. He hadn't even cursed the git. He'd just been blocking him and trying to disarm him.

He and Malfoy had spent the Order meeting sitting outside the headmaster's office, in student desks, writing. Snape had cast silencing and monitoring spells over both of them. Neither of them was stupid enough to defy his orders again.

Now he was standing in the blistering sun weeding the garden he and Snape had planted a few weeks ago. The plants were growing well but so were the weeds.

Harry hadn't said a single word since his apology to Snape in the room of requirements. McGonagall hadn't tried to speak to him and when Snape had come back, he had just been instructing him to gather his things.

Malfoy was in the other garden bed on his hands and knees fighting with a particularly stubborn weed. Snape was sitting on the porch reading. They had been informed today they would be working outside and tomorrow they would be working inside.

Harry didn't care anymore. He had pulled his walls up tight the moment Snape had entered the practice room. The hope that things were getting better had evaporated.

As he pulled the last weed from the garden he stood. He was more used to this kind of work then Malfoy was. It was obvious he had never done anything like this in his life. He had hardly pulled a dozen weeds and Harry's bed was clear.

Harry's face was blank and the comfortable numb hung around his mind as he approached Snape.

"Are you finished?" Snape asked, studying his face.

Harry nodded.

"Very well. There is paint in the shed. I would like you to paint the fence." Snape instructed.

Harry nodded again and went about his work.

Draco scowled at Potter. Severus had said no magic. Potter had obviously used magic if he was done already. Draco's hands burned from the fibrous weeds cutting into his palms.

Severus had offered gloves but when Potter had turned them down, Draco figured he could do without as well. He was sure he was getting tiny cuts and blisters. The garden was full of weeds. He would be at this all day.

With one last glare at Potter's back, he turned back to his task. Severus wanted him to think about himself. What was that even supposed to mean? He didn't want to align himself with a bunch of Gryffindors. He wanted his own friends. He hoped he still had friends. For all he knew they'd all turn on him when they returned to school.

Draco sighed and grimaced at his filthy hands. This was disgusting. Digging in the dirt like some kind of animal.

Draco looked back at Potter. He was not acting right. He'd been quiet all day. He hadn't even argued back yesterday. He hadn't accused Draco of starting the fight. Hadn't complained of the pain he was no doubt in from the spells he had landed. It hadn't been many, but Draco knew he'd gotten him a couple of times.

"Glaring at Potter won't get your task done any faster." Severus drawled from above him. His shadow falling over Draco's abused hands.

Severus waved his wand and Draco's hands were clean. Then he held out the gloves he had offered earlier.

Draco scowled at them for a moment before he swiped them out of Severus' hand.

"Thanks." Draco grumbled.

He studiously went back to pulling at the offending plants and ignoring Severus who was still standing over him.

Draco wanted to talk to him. Ask what had happened. Find out where they stood. Find out why Potter was here, but he couldn't seem to get the words out. He was too angry to think about calm conversation right now.

Severus eventually walked away, and Draco continued his weeding. It was significantly simpler with the gloves. He was still struggling, and his hands were sore, but he was making progress now.

Harry collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His body hurt from the long day in the sun and the demanding work he had done. He had finished the fence before Malfoy had finished weeding. Snape had set them to painting the house when they were done. The color was a boring blue grey, but it was better than the chipping paint that had been there before.

Malfoy had spent most of the day glaring at him. Hadn't he done enough damage yesterday? His side twinged where a burning hex had hit him, sliding under his shield. It was wrapped around his side and was red and swollen with blisters. He had gotten some relief in the cold spray of the shower.

They had eaten dinner in silence and then been sent to their rooms for the evening. Snape had instructed them to study.

He rolled that thought around his mind for a while. He needed to start looking into the books he still had from Grimmald. With a sigh he pulled himself upright and picked up his shrunken bag from the side table. He'd gone back to keeping all of his things shrunk in his pocket.

He didn't trust Malfoy. For all he knew this was a trick. Perhaps Voldemort had sent that vision to him. Maybe Malfoy really was a Death Eater. Maybe this was just a ploy to get close to Dumbledore. Draco had been told to kill the man. Surely the simplest way would be to get close to him. Malfoy didn't have the power to over-power him in a duel.

Harry sighed as he retrieved his trunk. Going through the process of removing and resizing everything until he was holding the black box that contained the bits of Voldemort's magic and the books and journals. It felt a little silly. Like he was keeping them in the middle of a set of nesting dolls. However, it kept them hidden so far. Even when Sirius and Snape had gone through his things.

He set the box on his bed and glared at it for a long time. He didn't want to see the objects again. The sickness that he felt when he was around them was physical.

With a wave of his hand he unlocked the box and opened it. Inside he could see the locket, the golden cup, and the silvery tiara. The mass of Voldemort's magic intermixed into each magical object.

He avoided touching any of them and retrieved Regulus' books and journal. He hoped that he would find something in there.

It was near midnight when he heard Snapes even footsteps climbing up the stairs. The lights had been out in his room for an hour. He waved his hand and pulled down his glowing ball of light that was hovering over his head.

He didn't want Snape to see what he was doing. This was certainly dangerous. He had been reading Regulus' journal and using the dark arts books for reference. Some of the things he had already read were horrifying.

The footsteps stopped in front of his door. Harry could see Snapes shadow in the gap under the door.

Harry held his breath and wondered if he should just shrink what he was working on and lie down. Would Snape open his door and come in? Would he check on him?

He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears in the silence. Then there was a sigh and the footsteps continued down the hall.

Harry could hear Snape knock on Malfoy's door and then the rustle of parchment and the door opening. He couldn't make out the conversation they were having but he could tell they were talking. The door closed and a moment later Harry heard the bathroom door close.

He released the breath he was holding. Holding out his hand he summoned the ball of light again and continued to read.

The first few entries were about his childhood. Experiences he had growing up in Grimmauld. There was even a little about Sirius in there. It was obvious that things were getting more serious the longer he read. Regulus talked about the spells he was learning. He wrote at length about the people he was spending time with. It was clear that he was falling in with the Death Eaters.

He read the next entry and felt his heart break. Regulus had seen his parents torture Sirius in his room. He had been afraid and had wanted them to stop. He wrote that he had awoken to Sirius sneaking out and wished that he could go with him. Wished that his brother knew he loved him.

Harry raised his hand and wiped the tears from his eyes.

With a sigh he turned the page. The next entry explained that Sirius had never returned. Harry knew that this must have been when Sirius ran away. Regulus was plagued with guilt and worry. He was expected to meet with a new group of people in the coming days and he was considering running away too.

The following entry had very shaky writing as if the writer had been afraid or in pain. Harry squinted at the words until he could read them.

'I have met the Dark Lord Voldemort. His power is unparalleled. I fear for my brother. He does not understand what he is going against. He will destroy them all to see his vision come true. What they are saying at school doesn't begin to encompass what he is truly capable of.

Tonight, I became one of his followers. Others held me in place as the Dark Lord spoke in Parseltongue and a pain I have never felt overcame me. I now bare his mark on my arm. I suspect it will be with me all the days of my life.

I have found a binding spell in a book in the family library. I suspect this is what he has done. He has bound his followers to him. The mark would not be impossible to remove if it had been spoken in English or even Latin. However, I know of no other parselmouth.

I hope I will have protection from his wrath. This war is becoming increasingly evident. It is inevitable. Those who stand with him will be victorious and the rest will be dead.'

Harry set down the journal and stared into the dark room. Regulus had only been fifteen when he was marked. While it had sounded like he had agreed to it, it was out of fear. Fear of what would happen if he was on the wrong side of the war.

Harry's brows furrowed as he remembered Malfoy's marking. Harry hadn't realized the spell had been cast in parseltongue. It always sounded like English to him.

He picked up the Dark Arts book and flipped to the index. His eyes scanned until he found binding.

Quickly he flipped to the page. The imagery was disgusting. A man kneeling and silently screaming. A sharp stick being shoved at him. His arm had a strange mark on it that looked like a sickle. The man was kneeling in what appeared to be a field.

He swallowed down the bile in his throat and began reading.

Harry closed his eyes when he finished the chapter. He snapped the book closed knowing that he did not have the energy to learn more tonight.

The spell had originally been created to enslave squibs. The spell would not work on those without a magical core as it attached itself to the magic. The mark could send pulses of pain to call the victim to the caster. However, it would not be useful on a witch or wizard as it could be dispelled with a simple finite. Voldemort had found a way around this by casting the spell in parseltongue. A language that was so rare he might as well have made it up.

Harry closed Regulus journal and placed everything back in the black box before he locked it again. Once everything was put away Harry walked to the door and listened quietly. There was no sound outside. He was sure Snape had gone to bed a while ago.

He pulled the door open and walked quietly down the hall.

He locked himself in the bathroom. He longed to shower again, despite his shower before dinner. His skin crawled with what he had read. The spells were cruel to a degree that Harry honestly couldn't fathom. Perhaps there was more to the Dark Arts then causing pain, but from everything he had read it didn't seem like it. It was all about pain and control.

Harry stomach gave a lurch and he fell to his knees in front of the toilet. He retched up what little he'd managed to eat at dinner.

Once the nausea had passed, he sat back and leaned against the wall. The coolness seeped into his lightly sweat-damp shirt. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

He had to take a shower. He needed to scrub away this feeling.

With a wave of his hand, he unlocked and opened the bathroom door before summoning his bag.

Severus stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter next to the coffee pot. It was incredibly early. The sun hadn't even fully come up. He'd had nightmares and had found it impossible to go back to sleep.

The day before had been stressful. In a quiet, waiting for a storm kind of way. Harry and Draco had both been nearly silent the entire day. Severus hoped that he hadn't broken what he had built with Harry. He also hoped that Draco had done as he asked and thought about what he wanted his life to look like. He would always love his godson, but he could not protect him from his own choices.

He was almost certain he had heard one of the boys getting sick in the bathroom a couple of hours ago. Given all that both had been through he wasn't sure which one it had been. He had listened for footsteps or a door closing but he had never heard either and had eventually fallen back asleep before he'd been startled awake by his own nightmares.

He planned to have the boys paint the interior of the house today. It didn't need much cleaning as Harry kept the place nearly spotless. He wanted to address the other bathroom soon, but he was going to wait a little longer. Perhaps he would tackle that project next weekend.

A creak on the stares alerted him that one of his charges had woken up. He turned and filled his mug with coffee. Then retrieved a second mug for whichever one was up. He knew Harry drank coffee when he hadn't slept well. Draco he wasn't sure about.

He popped the window over the sink open and retrieved the Prophet from the post owl. When he turned back, he met a pair of bloodshot green eyes.

Harry had been heavily Occluding again and he wasn't sure why. He didn't know if it was because Draco was here or if he had scared the boy when they'd been caught dueling. Whatever the reason it was dangerous, and it would need to be addressed.

"Good morning." Severus said, holding out the mug of coffee.

Harry stared at the offered mug for a long moment before walking towards Severus and taking it with a nod.

Severus sighed. Harry had also become non-verbal. He'd allowed it to go yesterday but now it was starting to cause him some alarm.

Harry hovered in the kitchen near the table. He was staring intently into his mug as if trying to analyze something. He raised it and smelled it briefly before taking a tentative sip. The small smile Severus usually saw after that first sip did not appear. His face remained blank and closed off.

Severus sighed and moved to the table. He sat down and opened his paper.

"Sit Potter. There's no need to hover about." Severus growled slightly as he scanned the front article.

Severus glanced up and noticed that Harry was still just standing there. He was just staring at nothing. It was concerning.

"Harry." Severus called.

When there was no sign that Harry had heard him, Severus stood and stepped in front of him.

"Harry." Severus called softly.

Still nothing. Severus hesitated before raising his hand to set it on the boy's shoulder. Harry usually seemed okay with that. However, the moment his hand was raised Harry flinched away and wide, fearful eyes sought his out.

Severus lowered his hand back to his side. The fear in his eyes quickly vanished back to blank. Severus studied his face and noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the ghostly pallor.

"Harry?" Severus said hoping he would respond.

When the boy just kept looking at him Severus swallowed hard. Something was wrong.

"What's going on?" Severus asked.

Harry looked away and shrugged one shoulder.

"I'd like a verbal answer please." Severus instructed.

"I'm fine." Harry said in a horse whisper.

Harry did not seem fine.

"Would you like me to make breakfast now?" Harry asked flatly.

Severus continued to watch Harry but eventually nodded.

"Sure." Severus said.

He watched Harry go about making breakfast. There was a ball of anxiety rolling in his stomach. Something was off with the boy.

He'd keep an eye on him today. If nothing changed by Monday, he would contact Lupin.

Draco groaned as he became aware of the room around him. Bright light was streaming through the window onto his face. He pulled his pillow from under his head and covered his face.

Slowly everything that had happened came flying back to him. For a moment he felt like there was an unbelievably heavy weight laying on his chest. He flung the pillow from his face, and it landed with a soft plop on the floor.

He needed to get up. He knew that Severus wouldn't let him sleep in. The man had handed him a dreamless sleep last night when he had come to his door. Severus told him he needed to go to sleep. That they had work to do in the house tomorrow.

He wished he'd never picked the fight with Potter. It hadn't been worth it. Potter was acting strange. Draco couldn't quite put his finger on the behavior but something about it was familiar.

With a sigh he rolled out of bed and got ready. His palms stung from working outside yesterday. He also had a sunburn. It wasn't surprising as it had been the first time he'd really been outside all summer. He was thankful Severus wouldn't be keeping them outside today.

Draco stood in the doorway of the kitchen and just observed for a moment. Severus was pretending to read the paper while he watched Potter cook. He was surprised at the level of concern he could see on his godfather's face.

Why the hell was Severus concerned about precious Potter? Potter didn't deserve Severus' concern. Draco had been the one living through hell this summer. Potter didn't know how lucky he was to have been here. Sure, maybe they didn't get along, but Severus wasn't waking Potter in the middle of the night to torture people.

Draco scoffed and sent a sneer at Potter's back. He hoped Potter wouldn't be here much longer.

Severus turned and looked at Draco. His expression was neutral, and Draco wanted to sneer at him too. Could he not show any concern for him?

"Good morning, Draco. Did you sleep all right?" Severus asked.

Draco sat down and nodded.

"Yes." Draco answered.

Severus seemed to study him for a long moment before he nodded.

Potter flitted around the kitchen and Severus went back to reading his paper. Draco just stared at his hands unsure of what he was supposed to do.

He really wanted to talk to Severus, but he wouldn't do that while Potter was here. Although he supposed he hadn't finished thinking about things as Severus had asked. He'd done some thinking. He wouldn't let the mark on his arm define him. He hated it and it still burned but he wouldn't let it control his life. When he got back to school, he would reassess his friendships. Then he would start planning from there.

A painful twinge shot through his palm, and he looked down at the red and blistered skin.

"Sev, could I have some healing balm?" Draco asked casually.

"Yes, there's some in the cupboard behind the mirror in the bathroom. Do you require anything else?" Severus said, lowering his paper and studying Draco.

"Do you have anything for a sunburn? I haven't been out much this summer." Draco said quietly.

Severus nodded.

"I have something in the lab. Wait here." Severus said as he raised from his seat and disappeared behind a door.

Draco glared at Potter's back.

To his surprise Potter turned around. His face was blank, and he looked exhausted. He only looked at Draco for a moment before turning to take something out of the cabinets.

Good, Draco thought. Maybe Potter could suffer a fraction of what he had this summer. A few sleepless nights were a good start. Maybe he was worried Draco would curse him again. He would if he thought he could get away with it.

Draco's eyes drifted to the door Severus had disappeared behind. He thought he had heard Severus walking downstairs. He'd probably hear him come back.

He pulled his wand and waved it under the table towards Potter. He sent a tripping jinx at Potter's feet as he went to take a step away from the counter.

He smirked as Potter tumbled to the ground. The plate's he had taken down smashing as they flew from Potter's hands.

He tucked his wand away and schooled his face as he heard Severus race back up the stairs.

The door flew open, and Draco concealed a laugh as the door smacked Potter who was still sitting on the floor trying to pick up the smashed bits of plate.

"What happened?" Severus asked.

Potter looked terrified. Good.

He hoped Severus would give him more punishments.

Draco frowned when Severus looked concerned and even kneeled down next to Potter instead of yelling. He saw Severus wave his wand and fix the plates before levitating them to the sink. He mumbled something to Potter, and he just shook his head. Severus said something else and then stood.

Severus glanced at Draco with an intense look but said nothing. He approached Draco and handed him a pot of burn cream.

"Go address your sunburn and hands then return. We will begin working on the house after breakfast." Severus drawled.

Draco nodded and headed upstairs.

Harry kept his mind as blank as he could while he painted the walls. He was sure Malfoy had sent a tripping jinx at him this morning. He'd told Snape he had just stumbled. However, Malfoy had hit him with a dozen or so hexes while they had been working. Mostly stinging hexes while his back was turned. Some of his spells had been more malicious than others. A bone breaker had hit his hand and broken two of his fingers. A silently cast Episkey had fixed them, although they were still swollen and tender.

The day had been painful but thankfully it was nearly over.

Harry wasn't sure why Snape had even bothered having them both painting. Unlike Yesterday, Snape had not overseen their work. Harry thought the man was doing something in his office. He had popped out a few times to check on them but had mostly left them to it. Malfoy hadn't bothered to do anything but curse him and spit nasty remarks under his breath.

He could have had all the work done hours ago if Malfoy hadn't been slowing him down.

He sighed as he finished the last wall in the sitting room. He had already painted the kitchen, the hall, and the office.

Harry turned to find Malfoy just sitting on the couch watching him. Harry shook his head and looked away.

Malfoy stood and Harry prepared to be cursed again. This time he threw up a shield. Harry smirked when he heard Malfoy scoff. Harry picked up the supplies and began to walk out of the room.

"Why are you here Potter?" Malfoy spat.

Harry ignored him. Just then Snape stepped into the room. Harry lowered his head and waited.

"The room looks good." Snape said.

"Thanks Severus. I think I did rather good. Are we done?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes, your punishment is finished. I appreciate that I didn't have to keep either of you in line today. I stepped out and brought you a treat for dinner. Go clean up then join me in the kitchen." Snape said, before turning on his heels and walking down the hall.

Harry went to follow Snape when he stumbled again and fell hard on the paint cans in his hands. He gasped as the can dug into his ribs.

"Watch were you're going Potter." Malfoy sneered as he stepped over Harry, stepping on his hand in the process.

Harry groaned as he pulled himself from the floor. He was thankful that he'd cast cleaning charms on himself and the supplies when he had finished. He would hate to have to spend the rest of the night scrubbing paint off the floor.

He walked the supplies to the cupboard under the stairs. Snape had said earlier that it was wear they were to be kept.

He swallowed hard as he pulled the door open. Silently reminding himself that it was just a cupboard. He wouldn't be locked in there.

With that completed he trudged upstairs to clean up. He couldn't wait for this day to be over. He hadn't had a day this painful since he'd fled Privet Drive. The punch he had taken at Paws and Tails and the road rash he had gotten had been painful, but they hadn't been on going. Today had felt very much like being at his relatives. Malfoy's pettiness reminded him of Dudley.

Harry locked the bathroom door and stared in the mirror. He dropped his mental wall and felt tears prick his eyes. Pulling his shirt off, he looked at all the red marks on his body. There were small marks from the stinging hexes and minor cuts and burns. His side was still red from the burn Malfoy had inflicted yesterday.

Harry looked at the red shirt in his hands and noticed all the small holes in it from Malfoy's cutting curses.

He wasn't sure why it was more upsetting to see holes in his new shirt then it was to see his marked body but as he fingered a hole near the cuff tears spilled down his face. He waved his hand and cast a silencing spell as a choked sob bubbled out of him.

Harry sank to the floor and leaned against the bathtub. He pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed.

He just wanted this to end. He didn't want to feel like this anymore. Like he didn't matter. Like everything that happened to him didn't matter.

He tapped his pocket looking for his knife when he remembered that Sirius had taken it away. Sirius had known he wasn't worth the gift. He was glad he had sent everything else back before Sirius had taken it. At least that had been his choice.

Harry held out his arm and noticed that one of Malfoy's cutting curses had cut across his wrist. There was a light trickle of blood running from it. He sneered at it.

Harry brought his wall back up. He was expected downstairs.

Harry walked into the kitchen and smiled a little. In the middle of the table was a Pizza. He had never had pizza before. When the Dursley's got take away he was usually locked away. He hadn't made the meal so why would they bother giving him anything?

Harry sat in his normal seat. Snape and Malfoy already had food on their plates, so Harry quickly served himself.

He picked up the greasy slice of pizza. The first bite was delicious.

Perhaps today wasn't so bad. Then Malfoy had to open his mouth.

"What is there to do around this muggle town anyway? You said we were off restriction." Draco asked Severus.

Severus nodded.

"The town is called Cokeworth. There is a park not far from here and there is a small shopping district. Perhaps you can go take a look for yourself tomorrow." Severus answered.

Draco nodded in thought. Today had been miserable. He thought it was bad being stuck with Potter but not being able to get him to react to anything was somehow worse.

He had also been thinking about what Severus had said. He knew he couldn't think of things on such a small scale. Going back to school and shoring up alliances wasn't going to be enough. He wasn't sure what he was going to do. Perhaps he could ask Severus for advice.

Potter looked happy as he ate. Draco sneered at him. How could such a disgusting muggle meal make him happy. Draco picked up his untouched piece and took a small bite. He raised an eyebrow. It was actually better then he'd expected.

"What kind of potions have you been working on this summer?" Draco asked between bites.

Severus began talking about some adjustments he was making to some healing potions. Draco nodded as he listened. The conversation felt comfortable. Like the way they would talk at school.

"How long have you lived in this house?" Draco asked curiously as he looked around the kitchen.

"He grew up here." Potter commented quietly.

Draco felt annoyance fill him. No one had asked Potter anything. Why was he butting into the first normal moment he had had with Severus? Why did Potter know something about Severus that he didn't know?

Draco sneered and dropped his hand below the table. He pulled his wand and sent a hex hoping it would land somewhere sensitive.

Potter's eyes went wide, and he set down his pizza.

"May I be excused?" Potter said quietly.

Severus gave him a concerned look and nodded.

Draco watched as Potter cleared his place and left the room. He smiled a little.

Draco turned back to Severus and found the man still looking concerned. Draco sighed. What was so damn special about Potter?

"May I be excused as well?" Draco asked. He had lost his appetite.

Severus frowned.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked.

Draco shrugged.

"It's been a long day. I think I'm just ready for bed." Draco sighed.

Severus studied him for a long moment before he nodded.

"Very well, you may be dismissed." Severus said.

Draco cleaned up his dishes and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry things have worked out this way Draco. I know you feel like you've been lied to. Things will get better. I know you feel like I have lied to you as well, but I want you to know that I've always cared about you and I'll always be here for you." Severus said earnestly.

Draco smiled a little and nodded. It was nice to hear Severus say that.

"Thank you, Severus." Draco said.

Severus nodded and Draco made it up to his room. He was exhausted. He changed quickly and fell into bed.

Severus sat at the kitchen table alone. He was a little disappointed in how the day had ended. He had been able to declutter his office and with the fresh coat of paint the house was starting to become the place he had always hoped it would be.

He'd Apparated to London for Pizza, hoping that it would be a nice treat for the boys. They had worked quietly and efficiently all day. He knew things hadn't been worked out between them, but he hoped that this would start a trend of quieter days. However, Harry was heavily occluding again today, and Draco seemed off. He wasn't sure if it was just adjusting to his unfamiliar environment or if something else was going on.

Draco had brought up going to town. Perhaps he would join him on an outing tomorrow. Harry was likely to go back to the bookshop tomorrow. Severus knew he didn't like being shut up in the house.

With a sigh he cleaned up the leftovers and headed to bed.

Severus was surprised when he came to the kitchen the next morning and didn't find either of the boys. He had overslept and expected that one or both of them would be up by now. He set up the coffee pot and wandered back upstairs.

Harry's door was open a crack like he normally left it at night. Severus knocked softly but when he got no response, he pushed the door open slightly.

The bed was empty but as his eyes wondered the room, he located the large black dog asleep under the window. Edgar was asleep, nestled into the dogs' long legs. Severus could tell even in his Animagus form that he wasn't sleeping well. Small whimpers sounded from him and his back legs occasionally twitched. He decided he would let Harry sleep. Merlin knew he needed it.

He would check in again with Harry this afternoon. If he still seemed off he would contact Lupin and see what he recommended.

Severus pulled the door most of the way closed and continued down the hall. Severus rapped lightly on Draco's door. There was the sound of soft steps a moment later.

Draco opened the door and with the exception of shoes he appeared to be dressed for the day.

"Good morning." Severus said.

"Good morning." Draco said before yawning widely.

Severus smirked.

"Sorry. I woke up early. I've been working on my summer assignments." Draco said.

Severus nodded.

"Are you making progress?" Severus asked.

Draco nodded and looked back at his bed, which looked more like a desk at the moment with all the books and parchment he had spread out on it.

"I'm a little stuck on one part but I think I'll figure it out." Draco added.

"If you need more reference material just ask." Severus offered.

Draco nodded.

"I came to see if you would like to join me for a trip to town. We could have breakfast at the diner, and I can show you around a little if you like." Severus said.

Draco's face lit up at that and he smiled.

Severus was happy to see a genuine smile on the boy's face. He had seemed lost the last few days.

"Just us?" Draco inquired. The look on his face slipping to something a little more reserved.

Severus wondered if that was the problem that Draco was having. He was used to being the sole focus of his parents. Perhaps, after having such a rough summer Draco now felt like he was competing with Harry for Severus' attention. It was something he would need to keep an eye on.

"Yes, it will just be us." Severus affirmed.

Draco smiled widely. He turned and gathered a few things before joining Severus and heading downstairs.

Draco had enjoyed the walk into town and the breakfast at the little diner. It wasn't anything amazing, but it was a new experience. Severus had explained some of the history of the town to him as they had walked. Apparently, it had once been a Wixen village and over time it had mostly become muggle. Now there was somewhat of a mix but mostly muggle.

Severus had told him about the mill and how the town had struggled. Draco had listened avidly. This reminded him of times when he had been a small child and Severus would watch him for a day while his parents went out. Severus would always take him some place interesting and tell him all about it. They usually went to a forest or lake where they would spend the day collecting potions ingredients.

"Was there anywhere specific you wanted to go?" Severus asked as they stood in front of the diner.

Draco shook his head and looked around. There were a lot of people milling around. It wasn't all that different from going to a wizarding town other than the way the people dressed and the types of stores available.

"Very well. I suppose we will just make our way down the road and if anything pops out at you, will go in. We need to stop at the grocery store before we head back." Severus explained.

Draco nodded and walked in step with Severus as they headed into the hustle and bustle of town.

Draco was grinning like a fool, he was sure. Severus had taken him into several of the shops. In whispered tones he had explained things that Draco had never seen before. He was fascinated. He never knew all the amazing things that muggles had. Magic could do most of the things that muggles had devices for, but it was still interesting.

"This is the book shop I mentioned. The owner is a friend of mine and I expect you to be on your best behavior." Severus instructed.

Draco nodded as they stepped into a small bookshop.

"Welcome." A voice called from somewhere in the shop.

Draco looked around a little. This seemed more familiar to him. It might not have books on magical topics, but a book shop was a book shop. A short woman with light colored hair came bustling out from the back and smiled at them.

"Hello, Severus." She said sweetly.

"Afternoon." Severus replied.

"And who is this?" She asked looking Draco over.

"Draco Malfoy." Draco said extending his hand to the woman.

The woman raised an eyebrow and glanced at Severus briefly before taking Draco's hand in a quick shake.

"Nice to meet you, young man. Your godfather speaks often of you. It's nice to put a face to the name. I'm Mary Ash." Mary said with another smile.

Draco furrowed his brows slightly. He was surprised but pleased that Severus talked about him. It made his worries about how Severus thought about him lessen a little.

"Why don't you take a look around." Severus suggested and Draco nodded before heading off into the shop.

Severus stayed near the front and seemed to be talking in hushed tones with Mary.

"You're godson has come for a visit?" Mary asked as she made her way to a chair.

Severus sighed and followed.

"Yes, he will be staying with me for a while. His family has been experiencing some issues and he needed a safe place to be. I imagine I will have him for the rest of the summer." Severus answered.

Marry nodded but the look on her face was expectant.

"And Harry?" Mary asked.

"I had both boys on restriction this weekend after an altercation on Friday." Severus said as he raised a hand to rub at his face.

Mary gave him a look that Severus unfortunately understood. He had talked about Draco at length over the years. Mary knew that the boy was a spoiled brat.

"Harry didn't mention anything when I saw him. Maggie said he checked out of the Sundown. Are you sure it's wise to have both boys staying with you. I don't mean to overstep Severus, but from everything you've told me the boys don't get along at all. I don't want to see Harry get hurt again." Mary said.

Severus looked out the front window of the shop in thought. He also didn't think it was a great idea, but he had little choice in the matter at the moment.

"I'm hoping they will learn to at least tolerate one another. Unfortunately, there isn't many other options. Harry will likely be leaving at the end of the month to stay with new guardians. Until then we will just have to make do." Severus said.

Mary nodded.

"Keep an eye on him, if you would. I think he's having a tough time with this new change, and I imagine he will return here." Severus added.

"Of course. Where is he by the way?" Mary inquired.

"He slept in this morning. He seemed like he needed the rest." Severus explained.

Mary nodded her understanding.

There was a slight shuffle of feet somewhere behind them and Severus turned to see Draco making his way out from between two rows. He had a rather large stack of books in his arms. Severus smirked and shook his head before standing.

"The shops not going anywhere. You can come back another day." Severus drawled.

Draco looked around the stack of books and smiled.

Severus rolled his eyes. At least Draco was taking some of his advice and had seemed interested in muggle life. At least a little. Perhaps there was hope.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked.

"Yes." Draco nodded as he set the stack of books on the counter.

Mary set about ringing them up and bagging up the books. She hummed and made some comments about the books he had picked. When she was done Severus paid.

"I think I will be back tomorrow. I'd like to pick a few things up myself, but we need to get going." Severus added.

He had wanted to look for some books on plants for his research. As much as he loved herbology books sometimes muggle scientists had better information for the research phase.

"That sounds lovely. Perhaps you can come for tea?" Mary asked.

Severus smiled.

"Of course." He agreed.

"Wonderful. I'll see you tomorrow." Mary said.

"It was nice to meet you Draco. Feel free to come back anytime." Mary added before they left.

They made quick work at the grocery store before they headed back to the house. Severus was hoping to work on some brewing this afternoon and it was nearly lunch time now.

Harry was sat on his bed when he heard Snape and Malfoy return. He overslept after staying up until dawn reading. Regulus' journal had sent him down several rabbit holes and he had pulled nearly all the books from his trunk by midnight.

The journal seemed to span years and while unassuming on the outside, Harry had quickly discovered that it was a lot longer than it appeared. He had read up on the history of the first war, Vampires, Werewolves, ruins, Arithmancy, Defense, charms, and muggle history.

Harry felt a connection to Regulus that he hadn't expected. Harry almost felt like he knew him through his writing. They had both been put into impossible situations and forced to live lives that others had decided for them. They both also seemed to have attracted more attention from Voldemort then others.

Regulus had been one of the youngest Death Eaters at the time and Voldemort seem to have some sort of sick fascination with him. Regulus never wrote exactly what had happened only that something had and referenced it frequently as 'it happened again'.

Harry didn't know for sure, but he suspected that Regulus had been sexually assaulted. It made sense in the context he was writing, and Harry's heart broke for the young man that he would never meet. He knew the scars that kind of trauma left on a person.

The longer he read the darker his thoughts got. He had struggled with his thoughts all night last night. He had wanted to cut, and the feeling had not left him today. It was like a deep ache in his bones that he couldn't seem to shake. He had kept those thoughts and the thoughts of his past at bay by continuing to read.

He had noticed how quiet the house was when he had woken up and had briefly panicked when he realized how late he had slept. However, Snape had said it was okay for him to sleep in and since he was no longer on restriction he had eventually calmed down.

He could hear Snape and Malfoy in the kitchen and wondered where they had gone. Town, he supposed. Harry pushed on the cut Malfoy had made yesterday on his wrist. It stung but it wasn't enough.

With a sigh he shook his head and focused back on the book in his lap. He was currently reading about various groups in history. It was rather fascinating to learn about.

Harry was startled from his reading half an hour later by a knock on his door. Harry quickly tucked regulus journal and the dark arts books under his pillow. He laid the book in his lap on top of the small stack in front of him and climbed off of his bed.

When he opened the door, he found Snape standing there.

"Hello." Harry greeted softly, looking past Snape and into the hall.

"Hello." Snape answered neutrally.

"Lunch is ready." Snape informed Harry.

Harry's stomach twisted. He hadn't eaten much last night. However, after taking a stinging hex to his upper thigh, that he was sure Malfoy had meant to go higher, he had no intentions of joining them for a meal. He had come to his room and suffered a panic attack before remembering that he had a calming draught in his bag. He had taken it to keep himself from having another panic attack and started reading.

"I'm not hungry." Harry replied quietly.

Snape just stared at him.

"You need to eat." Snape finally said.

Harry knew he was right, but he didn't think he could stomach anything right now and he hoped Snape wouldn't force the issue.

"I'll eat later. I really just don't feel up to it right now." Harry answered, pulling his wall more firmly in place.

He knew he could tell Snape about Draco's behavior, but he worried that nothing would happen. Draco was his godson and Harry was just a burden. It was the Dursley's all over again. Snape wouldn't care.

Snape sighed and crossed his arms.

"Are you unwell?" Snape asked.

Harry shook his head and looked at the floor.

"Very well. I expect you to eat something." Snape said with a sigh before walking back to the stairs.

Harry closed his door and returned to his studies.

Harry had been reading for hours and his eyes were starting to get dry. He closed the book and set it on his bed. Edgar was stretched out in a ray of sun on the end of his bed and looked completely content. Harry briefly considered joining him. He could use a nap.

He shook the thought from his head and stood stretching his sore muscles. He had heard Malfoy come upstairs an hour ago. He hoped Malfoy wouldn't come out when he left his room. He just wanted to be left alone.

Harry opened his trunk and started putting his books away. He might come back to this tonight, but he needed to be done for now.

Once all the books and notes were back in his trunk, he retrieved the dark arts books and Regulus's journal and put them in his backpack before shrinking it and putting it in his pocket.

When he reached the kitchen, his eyes were drawn to the second drawer next to the sink. It was Snape's knife drawer. Harry looked at it for a long time. He knew he could use his wand to cut but he wanted to feel the blade. He swallowed hard and looked away. He couldn't. He didn't want to disappoint everyone again.

He walked to the fridge and found leftovers from Snape and Malfoy's lunch as well as leftover pizza from dinner.

With a cold slice of pizza in one hand and a glass of water in the other he sat down at the table. He ate quietly but his mind kept drifting to the drawer.

He felt like he had a growing pressure inside of him. All of the anger and hurt that he had been feeling welled up inside of him. Memories that had played at the corner of his mind all day felt much more focused. He could feel the panic coming and tried to shut it out with the wall. However, instead of finding relief he felt a splitting pain in his head.

Harry closed his eyes and laid his head on the table and tried to take slow deep breaths.

When the panic finally faded, he stood on shaking legs and washed his dishes and then stood in front of the knife drawer. He reached out and pulled it open and stared into it. His eyes jumped from blade to blade until he found the one he wanted. He reached in and picked it up. The weight in his hand felt right. He took another deep breath and pushed his sleeve up.

He dropped the glamour and stared at the faint white lines that covered his arms. He looked at the pink scar that ran down his wrist. Suddenly he remembered Snape holding his arm, looking at it the night they had gone over the diagnostic. Snape had asked if it had been a suicide attempt. Harry had told him it wasn't. His hand gripped the knife tighter. He wondered if he followed that line if he could just be done with this pain.

That thought startled him. He couldn't give in. He had to finish off Voldemort. If nothing else, he had to do that.

He took a deep breath and brought the knife to his arm. He needed this feeling to go away. He knew this would do that.

Then a voice in his head reminded him that he was supposed to go to Snape if he was having thoughts of hurting himself. He could hear the man's earnest words that he could always come to him.

Shaking his head, he looked at the door to the lab. He wasn't supposed to bother Snape for anything but an emergency. Did this count? Would Snape be mad? Could he even bring himself to admit what was wrong?

With his hand shaking Harry placed the knife back in the drawer and closed it. He wanted to pick it back up and take it to his room. Hide away from Snape and Malfoy but another part of his brain was daring him to knock on the door. To see if Snape was really going to be there for him or if he would just be another adult to let him down.

Harry set his jaw and walked to the door. His hand shook as he raised it. With a sigh he knocked three times and then stepped away from the door so that it would not hit him if Snape did come up.

Severus stared into the cauldron in front of him. He had been working on an experimental potion for most of the afternoon. It was an old one that he had wanted to readdress. He hadn't given it much thought in a while but with war looming over them he thought it was the time to give it another look. He dropped in two Scottish thistles and waited the five seconds before stirring four times clockwise.

Just as he raised his hand to drop in the next ingredient, he heard a knock on the door. Severus waved his wand over the cauldron and put a stasis spell on the potion.

He walked to the bottom of the stairs and listened. There were no other sounds, but he was sure he had heard a knock. He had told both boys not to disturb him for anything less than an emergency. He knew that the boys would probably see different things as emergencies though.

Draco might find that a lack of snacks as an emergency. On the other hand Harry would likely face down a horde of Inferi before he would knock.

He assumed it was Draco, probably bored and looking for something to do. However, when he opened the door, it was Harry standing on the other side. Severus quickly looked around the room for fire or Death Eaters and when he saw nothing alarming, he turned his attention back to the boy.

His eyes were red like he had been crying and his arms were wrapped around him. There was a slight shake to his body, and he was staring at the floor.

"What's the emergency Harry?" Severus asked, once again casting his eyes over the room.

"I…um…" Harry said very quietly.

Severus turned his attention back to Harry.

"Never mind, Sir. I…I'm sorry for disturbing you." Harry stuttered out and took a step backwards before going to turn away.

Severus hand shot out and caught Harry by the shoulder. Harry flinched and Severus dropped his hand.

"What's wrong?" Severus asked in concern.

Harry's hands fell to his sides and seemed to clench and unclench as he stared at the floor. Then his hands came together in front of him.

"Nothing…I…um." Harry mumbled again.

"I just um…need a distraction." Harry said softly.

Severus brows furrowed until he noticed that Harry's right hand was pulling on the cuff of his left sleeve. Severus schooled his features when the realization dawned on him. Harry was struggling and this was his way of asking for help. Severus wondered what had triggered this but knew now wasn't the time to inquire.

"Very well. I'm brewing, would you like to join me?" Severus asked neutrally.

Harry's head shot up. The mix of surprise and trepidation only partially covered the obvious distress on his face.

Harry nodded and Severus turned and headed back down the stairs.

Draco stood in the hallway and listened as the basement door closed. He had come down to find a snack a few minutes ago and had heard the knocking. He had peered into the kitchen and saw Potter standing in front of the basement door. He had hidden himself to watch Severus blow up on Potter. There wasn't an emergency and Severus hated interruptions to his brewing.

There had been some sort of mumbled conversation and then Harry had been invited down to the potion's lab.

Draco felt anger boil in his chest. Severus had sent him off hours ago to study and told him not to disturb him. Now Potter was just being invited down like it was nothing. Draco sneered at the closed door and quickly walked back up the stairs.

He closed his bedroom door a little hard before flopping onto his bed.

He had enjoyed his outing with Severus this morning. They'd had an enjoyable time and Draco had felt like things were finally starting to go back to normal. He didn't understand Severus attitude towards Potter though. The man loathed him. Draco had listened to it for years. Even before they had met him at school.

Severus would tell Draco not to get his hopes up about making friends with 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'. That he was going to be an arrogant, spoiled brat just like his father. That he wouldn't give a Slytherin the time of day. Now Severus seemed almost protective of him. It made no sense at all.

Had all of the hate been a lie? Severus had admitted earlier that he knew Draco felt lied to.

Had something changed this summer? Draco still hadn't gotten much of an answer as to why Potter was even here in the first place.

Draco thought for a long moment before coming up with an idea. He quickly stood and cast a silencing spell at his feet. He walked out of his room and down the hall. He stood still for a moment listening for any sound from downstairs.

When he heard nothing, he pushed Potters door open and walked inside.

The room was smaller than the one that had been made for him. The walls were a dingy grey and the furniture was old and worn out. Potter's bed was made neatly and at the end sat his trunk. Draco wondered how long Potter had been here. He didn't have anything sitting out. Not even a picture or a quidditch magazine.

Draco glanced over his shoulder once before walking further into the room. He stopped in front of Potter's trunk and hoped it wasn't locked. He wasn't sure he had time to break a complex locking spell. Draco was surprised when the lid lifted easily. The contents were boring to be honest. School supplies and uniforms, an unremarkable wardrobe, an impressive collection of books, and notes. Honestly, it was a little disappointing. There weren't even any letters in there.

With a sigh Draco closed the lid. He nearly jumped out of his skin when something brushed up against his leg. Draco looked down to find the black cat he had seen roaming the house. He didn't think Severus owned a pet, so it must be Potter's.

"Where's he keeping everything else?" He whispered to the cat.

He bent down and pet it gently. He loved animals. Although his father had always insisted that Draco would one day take his place in the ministry, Draco longed to work with animals. He grimaced at the memories of care of magical creatures. His father had told him a long time ago that Hagrid was just a servant of the castle. When he had found out the oaf was taking over the one class he was looking forward too, he had been livid.

He had played up the injury he had gotten from the Hippogriff in hopes that the oaf would be fired or at least that they would get a new teacher. Instead to his horror they had decided to kill the animal. He had begged his father to have them change their minds. His father hadn't listened and told him to stop whining like a baby. That the animal was dangerous and needed to be destroyed.

His dressing down had happened in front of Crabbe and Goyle who had insisted on going to see it happen. They told him he could go to see Hagrid's face. Draco had agreed and when the time came, they went. When Potter and his friends had shown up, he couldn't stop himself from making jokes. He had just wanted to hurt Potter as much as he was hurting over the situation. Then Granger had hit him.

Draco huffed and stood. The cat rubbed along the bed and then bumped into the nightstand.

Draco walked closer and with another glance over his shoulder to make sure he was alone, he pulled open the drawer of the nightstand.

Inside was full of potions. They had Severus spidery scrawl on them. Draco leaned forward and began reading the labels. There was a general healing potion, organ repair potion, purging potion, an oculus potion, post-Cruciatus potion, nutrition potion, Stomach soother, and calming draught. There were also additional pots of salves. Scar cream and a nerve regeneration balm.

Draco stood up straight and frowned down at the collection of potions. Perhaps something had happened to land Potter here. He was sure if a Death Eater had attacked Potter there would have been chatter about it. These were some serious potions though.

Draco slid the drawer closed and looked around for another minute. He didn't find anything else in the room. With one last pat of the cat, he exited and made his way back to his room with another strange piece to the Potter puzzle.

Severus had set Harry the task of sorting and relabeling his supply cupboard. It was slow and boring work, but he didn't want to send Harry away. He also wasn't inclined to hand him a knife and ask him to prepare ingredients.

His cauldron boiled over once again, and he vanished the contents.

He needed to go to town tomorrow and look for a book on plants. He might even risk a trip to Diagon for another Herbology text, though he doubted there would be something new to read there.

Severus looked up as Harry walked out of the cupboard.

"Are you finished?" Severus asked.

"Nearly." Harry said setting another set of jars on the table he had been working on.

Severus lifted his cauldron and took it to the sink to scrub it out.

"What were you working on?" Harry asked hesitantly.

"Blood replacement. It's a potion I've been working on for a while." Severus answered.

There were a few clinking noises as Harry moved the jars back to the cupboard.

"Is that like blood replenisher?" Harry asked.

"No, this is meant as a replacement for human blood for Vampire consumption." Severus answered as he pulled the clean cauldron from the sink and set it to dry.

When Severus turned, he found Harry standing next to the table he had been working at with a look of concentration on his face.

"So more like a nutritional potion gear towards a Vampire's needs then?" Harry asked curiously.

Severus smiled.

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes, I suppose that is accurate. Do you know much about Vampires?" Severus asked.

"I've read a lot. Although I'm always skeptical when I read about different beings in the magical world. I've learned a lot but there also seems to be large discrepancies between fact and bigotry being spouted as fact." Harry said.

Severus thought it was a thoughtful and accurate answer. Many books about creatures, especially ones considered dark were written to cast the creature in a bad light.

"That is incredibly wise of you. I'm sure meeting Lupin opened your eyes to the way our world views those considered lesser." Severus responded.

A flash of anger crossed the boy's face before it seemed to fade.

"He isn't lesser. I actually got my first glimpses of how this world worked my first time to Gringotts, the day I learned I was a wizard. The way that Wixen speak to Goblins says a lot. Then I met Dobby and yes Remus. As time has gone on, I've learned that Wixen think they stand above everyone. I know what it's like to be seen as less. I would never see an intelligent being as less." Harry stated.

Severus thought he sounded a lot like Lily right now. Passionate and determined.

Severus smiled.

"You have your mother's big heart." Severus said as he walked to his table and began to clean up his supplies.

There was silence and Severus could see Harry just watching him out of the corner of his eye. He wondered if the boy would speak again or if there brief conversation would be the end of it and he would pull his wall back in place.

He cast several cleaning spells at the work bench and then looked up and caught Harry staring intently at him.

Severus raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Sir, I… Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favor. I think it will be rather personal and I'll understand if you say no." Harry said trailing off.

Severus considered this his opening. If he was looking for a favor perhaps, he could get a few questions answered.

"I might consider it. What might I get out of this favor?" Severus asked.

Harry almost seemed not to hear him. His face was scrunched in concentration.

"I could answer a couple of questions I suppose." Harry said faintly.

Severus nodded and motioned for Harry to come closer. He pulled out a pair of chairs and took a seat in one. When they were both seated Severus considered his questions.

"I would like you to tell me the reason you knocked on the door." Severus said.

Harry's face flamed red, and he began twisting his hands in his lap.

"I…I wanted to hurt myself." Harry said barely above a whisper.

Severus nodded at having his suspicions confirmed.

"And you thought a distraction would help you?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded.

"Has it helped?" Severus asked.

Harry hesitated for a moment and then nodded again.

"The feeling isn't completely gone but it's better." Harry answered softly.

Severus nodded.

"I'm proud of you for seeking out an adult when you were feeling that way. I know it's difficult, but you have people who want to see you get better." Severus responded softly.

A light blush covered the boy's cheeks, and he averted his eyes.

"Can you tell me where these feelings came from?" Severus asked gently.

Harry shrugged and continued to twist his hands.

"I just got stuck in my head, I guess. I…I've been having a rough couple of days." Harry said quietly.

Severus knew that it couldn't be easy for either of the boy's to be living together but he hadn't expected it to send Harry this far. He would need to find a way to lessen the impact for both of them.

"Can you tell me what you've been thinking about?" Severus asked.

Harry sighed and sat quietly for a minute.

"My life at the Dursley's mostly. Especially this summer and my last few days at Privet Drive." Harry finally answered.

Severus thought for a moment. He had wondered for a while what had happened that last day. Harry had accidentally or on purpose cut himself rather severely. It was also the day he'd had the vision of Severus at the Death Eater meeting. Then obviously something had caused him to leave.

"Do you think you can tell me what happened that last day?" Severus asked.

He wasn't holding much hope. As far as Severus knew Harry hadn't told anyone why he had chosen to run away. Not that he didn't have reasons but obviously something had happened to finally push him to leave.

Harry bit his lip and finally nodded.

"I think I can tell you, but um…please…." Harry trailed off and Severus could see the boy looked sick and a little heartbroken.

"I won't judge you for anything you tell me Harry. I know things were bad at your relatives." Severus tried to reassure.

Harry gave a jerky little nod and took a deep breath before he began.

Harry sat quietly staring at his hands, waiting for Snape to say something. He had told him everything that had happened that last day at Privet Drive. He had explained in much more detail then he had told Fred and George. He had explained his aunt's sour mood in the morning when she had unlocked his bedroom and told him to make breakfast. He had explained the hours of labor he had done in the sun. How painful his skin had been from the sunburn he'd gotten. He'd explained how his uncle had come storming out of the house and frightened him. How he had accidentally sliced his arm. How his uncle had punched him, sending him crashing into the gardening tools.

He'd gone on to explain getting the package from Fred and George, and the note from his friends. How thankful he had been for his friends and how worried he was about Hedwig being back in the house. He had then shakily explained trying to make dinner. How his uncle had shoved him into the counter and broken his ribs. How the knife had slipped in his hand and cut his arm. He described watching his blood pool on the counter as his uncle's hand ran down his body. How his uncle's sick suggestive words had been whispered into his ear before his aunt had called him away to get Dudley.

Harry had pulled the wall up a little at that point but continued. He explained his aunt slapping him for bleeding on the counter and being locked up again.

When he reached the part about his vision he'd asked if Snape wanted him to explain what he had seen. Snape had just nodded, and he had continued.

Harry was pretty sure Snape had started occluding when he explained what he had seen at the meeting.

He continued by explaining sending his Patronus and his uncle storming into the room and beating him. How things had gotten worse when the letter for underage magic arrived and how resigned he'd felt. He even told Snape how in that moment he had wondered if he would be with his parents again if his uncle succeeded in kicking him to death.

Then he'd explained his reaction to Vernon going after Hedwig and his hasty exit from Privet Drive and Apparating to London.

He'd talked about going through Sirius' room and how broken and guilty he had felt. He talked about his first transformation and how he'd wished Sirius had been there. How mixed up he felt now about the whole situation and how he still hadn't even shown them his Animagus form.

He talked about shifting his appearance to look like Sirius before he had left Grimmauld.

The only thing he hadn't told Snape was about the locket, journal, and dark arts books he had hidden in his room. He'd even told Snape about the desperate shower he had taken hoping to get the disgusting feeling off of him.

Now he sat waiting. It had been a lot, and he hadn't realized how much he had needed to talk about it. It had felt like poison had been drawn from his blood. Now he felt a little lighter but apprehensive as to what Snape would say. Would he finally see the freak? The one who his relatives hated. Would he see him as something disgusting after telling him about his uncle's lewd comment? Would he see him as something lesser? Perhaps he was a coward for running away. Or perhaps the cowardice was in that moment where he'd stop fighting and accepted, he would die.

He wondered if Snape would even do the favor he was going to ask for.

Harry had become transfixed on Voldemort's magic that swirled around the man's arm. After reading about the binding spell and knowing that it had been performed in parseltongue he was fairly sure he could remove it. He hoped it could be a way of starting to repay Snape, like he was doing for Remus. However, he would need to see it to know. He knew it was a personal thing to ask. Snape was unlikely to show him his dark mark, but Harry hoped that if he was honest answering the man's invasive questions, he would be willing to show him.

Severus sat watching Harry fiddle with his hands. He was trying to process everything that Harry had just told him. The boy had risked his safety to send that Patronus. He'd risked his own life to save him.

Severus blew out a long breath.

The casual abuse the boy had faced in his daily life was disgusting, though he'd known as much after he'd run the diagnostic. His relatives had hardly missed a day causing the boy pain. The relative's frequent drinking was something he hadn't been aware of. He knew how unpredictable alcohol could make people. His own childhood had made that clear.

He now believed Harry's assertion that the injuries to his arms had in fact been accidents. However, his thoughts around them and lack of fight when his uncle had been kicking him left Severus with the impression that Harry was likely passively suicidal. Harry might not have tried to kill himself but it didn't sound like he was fighting to keep himself alive either. Severus would need to keep an eye on that.

Harry's uncles' sick comments, and groping of the boy had turned his stomach and further deepened his suspicion that he had been the one responsible for the sexual abuse. Severus heart had broken hearing Harry talk about showering at Grimmauld. The shame he felt wasn't something he should have to carry. His thoughts wandered back to the disturbing photo he had found.

He worried about pushing Harry when he was already struggling but decided he would make the attempt.

"Thank you again for sending your Patronus. It was very courageous of you to risk so much to attempt to save someone you don't care for. I'm sorry things that last day were so hard. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. I can see now why you ran. Though I wish you would have contacted someone. I understand why you felt you needed to go alone though. I'm glad you are away from that now." Severus said softly.

Harry only nodded but didn't raise his head.

"What your uncle did was wrong. All of it. He never should have laid a hand on you. I know it's difficult to talk about but Harry, I think you would feel better if you got it off your chest. Was that the only time your uncle touched you like that, made those kinds of comments?" Severus asked gently.

Harry sighed and shook his head then shrugged a little.

"Was he the one that caused those injuries you didn't want to talk about?" Severus pushed.

Harry shook his head.

"He made a lot of comments I didn't understand growing up. I didn't really put it all together until that day. He wasn't the one that did that to me though." Harry nearly whispered.

Severus swallowed hard before he asked his next question.

"When we went to Surrey, I found a picture." Severus said.

"You were young. You didn't have any clothing on. Who took that picture Harry?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry's head shot up and a sick look filled his face.

"You saw that?" Harry choked out as tears rolled down his cheeks and he began shaking.

Severus nodded.

Harry started to gasp, and Severus knew he was having a panic attack. Severus stood and knelt in front of Harry. He reached out for his hands but stopped when he saw Harry flinch away from him.

"Harry, you're ok." Severus tried.

Harry shook his head as more tears fell down his cheeks.

"I'm disgusting. Please don't touch me. I'm too dirty." Harry gasped between sobs.

Severus felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

He reached out again and took one of Harry's hands. There was some resistance but eventually Harry just gave up.

Severus took Harry's hand and placed it in the middle of his chest and covered it with his own hand.

"You are not dirty Harry. What they did to you doesn't reflect who you are. It is a reflection of their darkness, not yours." Severus said earnestly, trying to look Harry in the eye.

"Feel my heart. Try and match my breathing." Severus said calmly.

Harry gave a single weak pull of his hand. Then Severus took slow exaggerated breaths and watched as Harry started to slow his breathing.

They sat there for nearly half an hour as Harry calmed down. Severus kept the boy's hand tight to his chest.

Harry eventually nodded and Severus released his hand though he could still feel where it had been on his chest.

"You're okay Harry. I promise I don't think less of you. You are a very brave young man. The things you have been forced to endure do not define who you are." Severus said.

Harry shrugged and nodded a little, though he still wouldn't look up at him.

They sat quietly for another moment before Harry cleared his throat and, to Severus' surprise began to speak.

"I was so hungry. I accidentally apparated into the school kitchens. I didn't know how it happened. I just remember thinking I needed to eat. He caught me going through the trash." Harry said, his cheeks flushing red.

Severus nodded in encouragement. His knees protested the knelt position, but he used the pain to ground himself as he prepared to listen to Harry's story.

"He gave me something to eat and just sat and talked to me. It was nice. No one ever talked to me." Harry said softly.

"What happened?" Severus asked.

Harry shrugged.

"Nothing. I left. He told me I could come back if I was hungry again. I…I didn't know." Harry said, his voice trailing off into a whisper.

"It was weeks later, and I went back. He fed me again. Talked to me. Told me about what he did at the school. No one had ever just talked to me like I was a person. He asked about school and my family and what I did for fun." Harry said softly.

Severus closed his eyes as he could already tell exactly how this had eventually played out. A boy like Harry never stood a chance against someone who showed him any kind of positive attention. Certainly not at that age.

"One day I went, and he noticed the bruises on my arms. He asked what had happened. I told him about what happened at home. I was nervous, but I didn't expect anything to change. Nothing had really changed after I told my teacher….But I was also afraid. If he did do something and the Dursley's found out…." Harry trailed off and then swallowed hard.

Severus remembered Harry's story about the teacher who had saved him from the pool. Severus grit his teeth. It was no wonder that Harry had never tried to go to an adult again. He had learned young that only more pain would come from telling.

"He said he needed proof of what they had done. He asked me to take off my clothes. I was nervous but he had been so nice. I thought I could trust him. He took a picture and told me he would make sure that the right people saw it. That they would take me away from my aunt and uncle and I wouldn't get hurt anymore." Harry said softly.

Severus could see a slight shine of tears in his eyes.

"He sent it to Vernon. I didn't know…not for a long time. I found it once in a drawer. I got sick and my uncle locked me away for days." Harry continued.

Harry started twisting his hands in the hem of his shirt. Severus took a steadying breath before he asked his next question.

"When did he start touching you?" Severus asked gently.

Harry's face pinched up in pain. Severus hated having to ask him this. Hated having to push him. However, he needed to get it out. It was so painfully obvious that it was all just eating away at him. He wouldn't start to heal until he started talking about what he had been through.

"He was always touching me. At first it was nice. He would pat my shoulder or give me a hug before I left. No one ever did that. I always consider Hermione my first hug." Harry said a little sadly.

Severus knew that the boy had been neglected and abused. He knew that his relatives had mostly ignored him. However, to hear the boy say that other than some predator the first person to hug him had been a friend he hadn't even made until he came to Hogwarts broke something in Severus. The child had truly been alone his entire childhood. Left to comfort himself.

"It changed over time. He would ruffle my hair or kiss my cheek. I was okay with that I guess, but it felt weird. Then it started getting more uncomfortable. He would put his hand on my leg or my lower back while I ate." Harry whispered.

Severus didn't need to know more. The injuries spoke enough of the kind of abuse the man had inflicted on Harry.

"One day he gave me juice with my food. I don't know what was in it, but it made me sleepy." Harry said as he bit his lip a little.

Severus supposed that explained why the boy always checked his food and drinks. It would also explain why he had been so anxious the first night he had offered him the calming tea.

Severus closed his eyes and shook his head.

He opened them as Harry began to speak again.

"I didn't go back for a long time after the first time he hurt me. Then I got in a lot of trouble. The Dursley's had me working nearly every hour I wasn't in school. I hadn't eaten all week. I thought I could sneak in and out and it would be okay. But he caught me." Harry said softly.

"I didn't go back to the kitchen after that, but he would find me other places. Hiding from Dudley and his friends usually. He would do whatever he wanted and then leave me food…it was sick…. It was like I was trading myself for food." Harry spat.

Severus shook his head.

"No, he was preying on a child who didn't know better. An abused child who didn't have guardians to turn to when something happened." Severus tried to console.

Harry just shrugged then wiped angerly at his face with his sleeve.

Severus now understood the parts of Harry's struggles with food that he hadn't understood before. He wasn't sure there was much he could do to help him overcome that. Hopefully Lupin would be able to work with him.

He wished there was something he could do for Harry. What had happened to him was horrible.

They sat quietly for a long moment.

"Harry, is this the same person who hurt you after you came to Hogwarts?" Severus asked the question that was still bothering him.

He wasn't sure how Harry would have come into contact with someone that was working at his primary school after he had left, but he supposed it was possible.

Harry nodded.

"He was really angry the first time he found me." Harry said quietly.

Severus noticed Harry's whole body was shaking.

"Where did he find you?" Severus asked cautiously.

"The leaky cauldron. I had run away… The Minister of magic told me to be careful because of Sirius escaping Azkaban. I shouldn't have let my guard down. One minute I was opening the door to my room and the next I was on the floor with a weight on my back." Harry said shaking his head and gritting his teeth.

Severus took in what he had just heard. This person had attacked him in the magical world.

"He was a wizard?" Severus asked.

Harry nodded.

"I didn't know that then. He glowed like I did. I… I could see his aura. I didn't see people very often that had that. The ones I had met were always nice to me. I was stupid." Harry spat.

Severus sighed.

"You weren't stupid. You were a child and didn't know any better." Severus said.

Harry just shrugged.

"He caught me again at the quidditch cup. I was walking around before the game. He pulled me into a tent. Hermione was mad that I had disappeared. When I came back she said I shouldn't go wondering off by myself. I didn't tell them. I didn't tell anyone. I was too ashamed. I wasn't a little kid anymore. I should have fought back. I should have done something. I just froze." Harry said softly.

Severus was getting angrier by the minute at the overall lack of supervision the child had had. Even once he had come to the magical world. He thought Albus had kept a close eye on the boy but obviously not.

"What happened last summer?" Severus asked.

Harry sat quietly for a long moment before he spoke.

"I was having a hard time with everything that had happened in the tournament. I felt guilty and angry. No one was talking to me. I was just left alone the whole summer. Stuck with my own thoughts. I went to the park a lot to get away from the house when I could. He grabbed me coming back. It was dark. I…I think he cast something on me. I couldn't move." Harry said softly.

Severus truly was angry now. The Order had been watching Harry last summer. How had that happened, and no one had noticed.

That didn't even begin to cover the fact that a Wizard had been able to find Harry Potter in the muggle world. Not only find him but get close enough to abuse him. The wizard had to have known who Harry was. This was just further proof that Albus' insistence on Harry staying in that house had been completely pointless. Harry's presence to keep the blood wards up had been for nothing.

"Who is he Harry?" Severus asked as calmly as he could.

Harry shrugged.

"I don't know his name… I always called him Mr. F." Harry whispered.

"Can we please be done now?" Harry said in a near whimper.

Severus took Harry's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah. We can be done. Thank you for telling me, Harry. I promise that won't happen to you again." Severus said with conviction.

Harry's face looked doubtful.

Severus sighed. He would do everything in his power to keep Harry safe. The fact that this had been allowed to continue was inexcusable.

"Are you going to be okay? I know you came down because you were upset. I didn't mean to upset you further." Severus asked.

Harry just shrugged. He looked exhausted.

"Just kind of numb." Harry answered quietly.

Severus nodded.

Severus thumb swept across Harry's palm, and he was surprised to feel a slightly raised line on the boy's wrist. Perhaps the boy had hurt himself before he had come down.

Severus reached out and pulled up his sleeve to find a single cut near his wrist. It looked at least a day old, and Severus wanted to kick himself for not doing something for the boy sooner.

"When did you do this?" Severus asked softly.

Harry sighed.

"I didn't." Harry said.

Severus looked into Harry's face and couldn't detect a lie.

"How did this happen?" Severus asked.

Harry just shook his head and attempted to pull his arm away. Severus increased the pressure of his hold, though if the boy truly wanted to pull away, he could.

"I won't be angry Harry. I just want to help." Severus said.

Harry bit his lip and looked into his eyes, searching for something.

"Malfoy." Harry said softly.

Severus did feel angry at that answer. He knew Draco was struggling but he had been pretty clear that he wouldn't tolerate them hurting one another. They had been on restriction the last two days for that exact reason.

"He cast on you?" Severus asked neutrally.

Harry nodded.

Did you retaliate?" Severus asked.

Harry shook his head.

Severus sighed. Of course he hadn't, the boy never seemed to stand up for himself. Not that he blamed Harry. In this instance, he had been specifically following Severus' rules.

"Are you injured anywhere else?" Severus asked.

Harry's blush told him enough.

"Can you show me?" Severus asked.

Harry hesitated for a moment then lifted the edge of his shirt a little. Severus could see red marks all over the boy's skin.

Severus grit his teeth.

"Take your shirt off please." Severus asked as he stood.

Harry gave him a concerned look.

Severus relaxed his face. He was sure he looked angry.

"Harry please trust me. I promise you I won't hurt you, and I won't touch you without telling you first. I just want to heal your injuries. Please." Severus said softly.

After everything Harry had just told him he understood his hesitation. He hoped that Harry's trust would continue to hold. Severus knew there was nothing he could say to convince Harry if he truly didn't believe Severus. However, Severus knew in his own heart that he would rather die than hurt a child. He had been sick when he had realized he had bruised Harry earlier in the summer.

Harry stared at Severus for a long time before he sighed and pulled his shirt off.

Severus felt his anger flare. Harry was covered in red marks, from what he guessed where stinging hexes. He also had several small burns and cuts. There was also a rather large burn on his side.

Severus busied himself collecting creams and after letting Harry know he was going to touch him quickly addressed each mark.

"When did this happen?" Severus asked.

"Yesterday. He cast on me the whole time I was painting. I blocked the last one but before that he was doing it while my back was turned." Harry said softly.

Severus ground his teeth. He had promised Harry he was safe here. This was far from okay.

"What happened to your hand?" Severus asked.

"He broke two of my fingers. I think I fixed them." Harry answered, holding his hand up slightly to look at them.

Severus shook his head and waved his wand over the swollen fingers.

"I'm sorry Harry. This shouldn't have happened. It won't happen again. I will speak with Draco." Severus said firmly.

Harry just shrugged and Severus fought to try and reassure Harry. He knew nothing he said was going to change his mind. Though he wished he could reassure Harry that he was safe here.

Harry stood and kept his eyes down as he pulled on his shirt.

Harry started to make his way out of the lab when Severus remembered that the questions had started with Harry asking for a favor.

"What was your favor?" Severus asked.

Harry stared at the floor then raised his head.

"I was wondering if you would allow me to see your dark mark?" Harry asked.

It was Severus turn to be hesitant. His mark was a point of great shame for him. Then he remembered all that Harry had just shared. How vulnerable he must feel right now. He nodded and walked closer to Harry.

With a sigh he unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt and pulled up his sleeve. He held it out with disgust.

Harry stepped closer and seemed to study it for a long time. Severus saw him raise a shaky hand as if he was going to touch Severus arm but seemed to hesitate.

Severus waited for Harry to say or do something, but nothing happened. They just stood there.

Finally, Harry stepped back and looked Severus in the eye.

"I…I think I can remove it." Harry said softly.