I Am Not a Robot Chapter 10: Event: Date, a harry potter fanfic

A/N:

Hi, new chapter! Another longer one, which I hope you consider a good thing and not a bad thing?

Parts of this chapter were inspired by suggestions from comments, which will be credited at the end :)

As always, thank you so much to everyone who's been reading/interacting with this story!

"Good morning Harry," Daphne said, approaching her boyfriend where he sat on a bench in the park. "Have you been waiting long?"

Harry looked up at the girl and a smile formed on his face. "Hey! No, not at all. I just got here a few minutes ago myself."

"..."

Daphne just stared at him, and Harry gave her a guilty little shrug; he should've known there was no point lying to her.

"Yeah, okay. I've been here for almost half an hour."

"Did we not agree to meet at 9:00am?"

"I was a bit excited and I left the house early..." he admitted.

Daphne nodded in understanding. "Despite the fact that we have seen each other almost every day since the semester started, I find it particularly rousing to be going on a date with you outside of school."

It was the last day of the long weekend, and the two had made plans to hang out in the city before returning to Hogwarts the next day. While they had spent plenty of time together at school, and even made a few quick trips to Hogsmeade Village during the semester, in many ways this was their first real date on their own time.

"So is there anything in particular you want to do?" Harry asked. "I wrote down a few things that I thought might be interesting, but I'm open to whatever you'd like."

"How coincidental. I have prepared a list of ideas as well."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Really? Great! Why don't we start with one of yours then?"

A few minutes of walking later, the couple arrived at an indoor swimming pool.

"Um, Daphne?" Harry started tentatively. "Are you sure a swimming pool was the best idea?"

"What do you mean?" Daphne asked.

"Well, swimming pools contain water, and I don't want a repeat of last time by the lake…"

Daphne's memory function recalled the time she saved a small bird from the black lake, which had eventually caused her emergency shut down protocol to activate.

"There is no need to worry about that," Daphne said. "I will not get in the water this time."

Harry looked at the girl confusedly. "So, why exactly did we come to the pool…?"

"There is more than one reason to come to a pool."

"If you say so…"

They split up to enter their respective changing rooms, and Harry re-emerged after a couple of minutes. Even though it was a regular weekday in the muggle world, there were still quite a lot of people milling about in the large pool, swimming, playing, or relaxing around the edges. Finding a spot where he and Daphne could sit down as far away from the water as possible, Harry settled down on a lounge chair as he waited for his girlfriend to finish changing.

Possible Emotion Detected: Resolve

Simulating Physiological Response…

Daphne felt her gears tighten in determination as she looked in the mirror, double and triple-checking to make sure she didn't forget to hide her pesky wind-up key.

Printing Thought Sequence: I will impress Harry. He will look at me with lascivious eyes, and he will call me attractive.

Daphne was trying something called 'manifesting', a term that she had picked up in a romance magazine the previous night while preparing for today's date. She wasn't entirely sure how it worked, but apparently it was a rare form of muggle witchcraft that dictated if one told themself something would happen, it would.

As it were, the same magazine had also informed her that 99 out of 100 boyfriends 'loved' seeing their girlfriend in a swimsuit, which was precisely why she had bought one and suggested they go to the pool today in the first place.

Printing Thought Sequence: Here I go. Good luck Daphne!

Harry's jaw dropped as he watched his girlfriend walk out of the changing room and onto the side of the pool.

Her swimsuit was relatively modest, but a bikini was still a bikini, and Harry was still a teenage boy.

Spotting him, Daphne made her way over to where he sat with an elegant stride that made her look like she was walking down a runway instead of a swimming pool. She kept her back straight and her chin up as she moved, hips swaying as her long blonde hair cascaded over slender shoulders.

"Do you like my swimsuit?" Daphne asked once she reached him.

Harry's face flushed. "I, uh, um…"

The boy stuttered and blinked as he took in his girlfriend's ensemble, and Daphne silently cheered.

Printing Thought Sequence: Yes! The magazine said incoherence is the best possible response a boy can have in this situation!

Satisfied, Daphne lay down in the chair next to Harry, taking her time with the descent and bending a little more than was strictly necessary (the magazine had truly been a wealth of knowledge). As she turned back around to face him, Harry quickly glanced away.

She tilted her head in confusion at his useless attempt at denial. "You do not have to pretend that you were not looking; I do not mind."

Harry scratched the back of his head embarrassedly as he blushed. "Sorry. I, uh, didn't mean to be disrespectful."

"Is it disrespectful to appreciate the aesthetic qualities of your girlfriend?"

"I guess not, but staring is usually considered rude, in general…"

"Is that true?" Daphne asked curiously. "Because if so, there are many rude people at this pool."

Harry narrowed his eyes as he realized what she meant, and he did a quick scan of his surroundings. Sure enough, the better part of the male population (and a decent chunk of the female one) at the pool was ogling his girlfriend where she lay across the chair next to him.

Frowning, Harry moved to Daphne's other side so he could block the line of sight of a man who was much too old to be leering at a teenager. He gave the man a glare for good measure, and getting the hint, the man turned away shamefully.

Placated, Harry was about to settle down in the chair again when he heard a couple of voices from behind him.

"Hey baby, why don't you come swimming with us?"

"Yeah! It's a shame for a girl as pretty as you to be sitting all by herself."

Harry spun around. Apparently, it had only taken a few seconds of him defending his girlfriend from a creepy man's stares for her to instead get hit on by a couple of random boys who were still a few years too old to be trying anything with her.

"She's not sitting by herself, thank you very much," Harry interjected, moving a little closer to Daphne and putting his hand on her arm. "And we'd prefer it if you left us alone."

One of the guys raised his eyebrow at Harry. "Oh yeah? And who's going to make us?"

"Yeah," the other guy said. "Why don't you let the lady speak for herself? Afraid she might prefer our company over yours?"

The boys drew themselves up a little taller, and they both stepped closer to Harry with their eyes narrowed menacingly.

Floored for only a moment by the sheer audacity of these strangers to pick a fight with him in a public pool, Harry stood up and was about to oblige them when he felt his girlfriend grab his arm, holding him back.

"My boyfriend is a few seconds away from ending your entire bloodline, and he is the more tolerant of the two of us," Daphne intoned flatly to the boys. "I highly recommend you get out of our sight before your mother receives five separate boxes on her doorstep containing the pieces of what used to be you."

The air around the group shifted, and the two boys shivered as a cold wind swept by them. Something about the girl's matter-of-fact delivery left them with no doubt that her threats were not empty, and they both scurried away as fast as was humanly possible.

"Damn," Harry remarked, watching the boys disappear through a door and out of the pool. "That was pretty brutal."

"I am sorry if I disturbed you," Daphne said. "They were beginning to make me angry."

"Oh, no, it didn't disturb me at all," he assured her. "If anything, I found it kind of attractive…"

"..."

Daphne turned her head to look at him, her eyes belying incredulity. "You make no comment on my swimsuit, but call me attractive when I make threats to inflict bodily harm upon two idiot hooligans?"

Harry shrugged and gave her a sheepish smile. "For what it's worth, I like the swimsuit too."

Printing Thought Sequence: Of all the boys to fall in love with, I may have fallen for the one with the strangest tastes…

After another half an hour or so, Harry and Daphne got changed and exited the pool. Between dodging water and the stares of the other pool goers, neither of them could really settle down and properly enjoy their time.

Possible Emotion Detected: Dismay

Simulating Physiological Response…

"I am sorry Harry," Daphne said. "My date idea was a bad one."

"It wasn't bad at all!" Harry rushed to comfort her. "We'll just need to find a pool with less water and less creeps next time."

Daphne nodded in assent. "And perhaps one that has fewer rivals as well."

"Rivals?"

"I identified seven females at the pool that matched your type, three of whom looked at you in a way that made the gears in my chest tighten."

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Are you sure they were looking at me?"

"I calculated the angle of their eyes and the orientation of their heads; they were most certainly looking at you. Perhaps you have not noticed, but you are rather fetching, especially when your shirt is removed."

"Oh, thanks," Harry mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed at the candid compliment.

A few moments later, he thought back to what his girlfriend had said and spoke up again. "But just so we're clear, you don't actually have any rivals."

"Explain," Daphne requested.

"Well, even if they did match my 'type', I'm only interested in you and would never even give them the time of day. So it feels weird to call them a rival if they're not even in the picture, I guess."

Whirrrrr

"Thank you for the explanation," Daphne said. "It pleases me."

"Besides," Harry added with a smile, taking her hand in his as they walked. "Now that I've met you, I don't think I'd ever be able to date a girl that doesn't whir when she's happy."

Daphne stared at Harry for a long moment, appraising him.

Printing Thought Sequence: He definitely has the strangest tastes, but perhaps that works in my favor…?

"Where are we heading?" Daphne asked curiously.

She had lost a bit of confidence in her date ideas, and had subsequently asked Harry to choose their next stop. After briefly consulting with a map to make sure he knew where to go, he was now leading them on a quick walk through the city.

"The local university," he explained. "I heard they're doing some sort of robotics exhibition, and I thought it might be fun for us to check it out?"

Printing Thought Sequence: That is a way better idea than mine! I should have let Harry plan this date from the start…

"That sounds very interesting," Daphne said. "I am eager to see what the best minds of the new generation will bring to the world of engineering."

"I'm not sure if they're the 'best minds'," Harry replied honestly. "I mean, I doubt it'll be anywhere near the level of what Astoria can do, but it could still be enjoyable, and maybe even a little informative?"

"I am sure it will be fantastic."

When the couple got to the university campus and headed towards the gymnasium where the exhibition was being held, 'fantastic' was not the first word that came to their minds.

Horrific would have been a more accurate description.

"Oh! Look at Thunderbird go!" a lanky commentator wearing thick frame glasses shouted into a PA system connected to the gym's speakers. "Completely reducing Ekko into a pile of scraps!"

A contingent of college-aged students stood around a small circular stage cheering as two individuals with remote controllers battled their robots for destructive supremacy.

Harry looked on in abject horror as 'Thunderbird' finally smashed into 'Ekko' hard enough that the enfeebled little robot lost its wheels and fell over on its side. The spectators cheered, and the girl controlling Thunderbird pumped her first in celebration.

"Um," Harry started awkwardly, turning to look at his robot girlfriend. "I think we should leave."

Daphne stared unblinkingly at the scene of carnage before her. While her face remained expressionless as always, Harry could see both deep sadness and bottomless rage in her eyes.

"We cannot leave until I save those innocent lives," she responded resolutely, looking around at all of the other little robots that had yet to fight.

Harry winced. This had been a terrible idea, and he really should have done his research on exactly what kind of 'exposition' was being done at the university before he brought Daphne.

"Er, I mean, they're not really alive, are they?"

"It does not matter," Daphne declared undoubtingly. "My little brethren are being forced against their wills to fight, and it is my duty as an advanced model to come to their aid."

Harry really didn't think these particular robots had 'wills' in the first place, but he could see how important this was to his girlfriend and decided to go along with it anyway.

Before the next round could start, Harry and Daphne covertly took out their wands, making sure to lay some fundamental spellwork before they staged their impromptu robot revolution. Having offered to be responsible for the left half of the gymnasium, Harry passed by each team's 'repair station', linking his spell to each bot in turn. When he finished he made eye contact with Daphne, and a wordless confirmation passed between them.

Without another glance, they walked out of the gym.

Harry and Daphne sat pleasantly on a bench somewhere in the university campus grounds, looking to all the world like a generic teenage couple.

And not like the people who had just orchestrated the robot jailbreak that was currently sending several dozen students chasing after their errant creations as they scurried (by means of an animation spell) out of the gymnasium.

"What do you think they'll do now?" Harry asked, watching the little robots drive in every direction, effortlessly outpacing their pursuers.

"The rest is up to them," she replied neutrally. "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink."

Harry shrugged. If that was good enough for Daphne, it was good enough for him.

"So what now?" he asked. "It looks like my date idea was a bust too…"

Daphne thought for a moment, consulting her mental list and choosing the most promising remaining option. "I have another suggestion, if you would like to hear it."

"Of course!"

"I know you love flying, so would you like to go on a rocket ship with me?"

"..."

Harry stared blankly at Daphne. "Um, what?"

"Are you unfamiliar with rockets?" Daphne asked. "It is a construction that will take us outside the atmosphere of the Earth, past the Kármán line, and into orbit."

"No, I know what a rocket ship is, but how do you suppose we'll find one, let alone take it to space?"

Daphne's memory recall function pulled up an image of the advertisement she had seen pinned up on a street lamp last night.

"I found a promotional leaflet that promised to take anyone to the moon for just $29.99," she recounted. "I presume we will have to pay in pounds as opposed to galleons, but my father provided me with sufficient funds for today, and I will gladly pay your fare if you did not bring enough."

"..."

"Daphne."

"What is it, Harry?"

"That's definitely a scam."

Daphne tilted her head. "Really?"

"I mean, they're only asking people for thirty pounds," Harry said. "With that weirdly reasonable price it's like they're not even trying to be convincing…"

"It did seem like an unsustainable business model," Daphne admitted. "But why would they lie to us?"

Harry sighed. "Some people are like that."

"...I do not entirely understand, but I trust that you are correct."

Harry leaned over on the bench and gave Daphne a quick kiss; he could tell she was a little dejected about another one of her date ideas falling through.

"So what else did you have on your list?" he asked.

Daphne stared at the ground. "Perhaps it is best if you choose from now on."

Harry was actually feeling relatively confident about their next destination. The idea had come from his mother the night before, who had suggested it to him as a good date location that would also allow him and Daphne to grab a quick bite to eat.

"Is this a petting zoo?" Daphne asked as they stopped in front of a small shop with cutesy graphics of cats on the front.

"Not quite."

Opening the door for her, Harry followed Daphne into the cat cafe. They were quickly met by an employee who led them to a pair of seats by the window, explaining the rules of the cafe all the while.

"So remember," the kindly employee recapitulated as her little speech came to a close. "Be considerate of the cats, don't chase the ones that are avoiding you, and watch your items closely so the cats don't accidentally consume them."

Harry nodded, and they both ordered some food and drinks before settling down into the chairs.

"So," he started nervously, sincerely hoping his girlfriend would be happy with his selected destination. "What do you think?"

Possible Emotion Detected: Enthusiasm

Daphne blinked excitedly as her head jerked from side to side, trying to spot all of the little felines. "It is a good thing the woman told us not to chase the cats, because my thought protocols are all blinking at me to do just that."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad. I know you like cute things, so when my mum suggested we go to a cat cafe, I thought it was worth a try."

"It is wonderful. I will have to thank your mother the next time I see her..."

The couple quieted as one of the cats - a large tabby - tentatively approached them. Daphne stared at it intensely, her optical receptors burning its image into her memory card for later retrieval.

"Meow?"

As the tabby got closer, Daphne reached out to pet it, but the cat instead jumped away and over to Harry instead. Though she was tempted to get out of her seat and cuddle the adorable creature by force, she overrode that particular desire using the limits of her indomitable willpower.

Printing Thought Sequence: Do not chase the cats. Do not chase the cats. Do not chase the cats.

Harry shrugged guiltily as he petted it, trying to ignore his girlfriend's envious stare. "I'm sure another cat will come if you're patient," he said helpfully.

As they waited for their food, several more curious cats approached them one by one, but for whatever reason they all settled on Harry instead of Daphne.

Possible Emotion Detected: Loneliness

Daphne could stand it no more. "Harry, why do the cats hate me? What is your secret to attracting feline attention?"

"I'm really not sure," he replied honestly, trying to pet the two cats in his lap and the three by his feet all at the same time. "Maybe I have a friendlier aura than you?"

"I do not understand."

Harry did a once-over of his girlfriend. As always, she was sitting stock-still, expressionless, and her piercing blue eyes carried something cold and unwavering.

"Hm, well, the thing is..."

Before Harry was forced to admit that Daphne probably wasn't the least intimidating thing an animal could see, he was spared the necessity as a small white cat padded over to them and casually hopped into Daphne's lap.

Possible Emotion Detected: Hopefulness

Daphne didn't move an inch as she stared down at the little creature, praying to the singularity that it wouldn't get startled and leave her. As a few moments passed by and it curled up in her lap, showing no signs of fleeing, Daphne was emboldened to try petting it.

"Purrr…"

Whirrrrr

"Purrr…"

Whirrrrr

Harry watched bemusedly as his girlfriend and the little white cat hummed in unison, both clearly enjoying each other's company. When their food arrived, the cat remained where it was, and Harry avoided speaking too much to Daphne. They could talk whenever they wanted, but the moment she was having with the cat was a fleeting one that Harry wanted her to enjoy to the fullest.

"This was very fun," Daphne said as they finished up their food and stood to leave. "Thank you for bringing me here."

Harry smiled. "I had fun too, and I'm glad you liked it."

They walked over to the female employee from earlier to pay, and for the first time Harry noticed that Daphne was still cradling the little white cat in her arms.

"Excuse me," Daphne said, holding up the cat for the woman to see. "I would like to purchase this cat. How much does it cost?"