Eeeekkk, my bad about this chapter, but Callie really doesn't do well with leaving relationships; however, someone soon may have to do it for her.
—-
As usual, Addison was at her favorite place in the hospital…the outside seating area of the cafeteria. With busy schedules, Addison and Callie were the only two available for lunch around noon, which worked out because Arizona and Callie were still not on speaking terms, again.
"So, how was your date with Erica," Addison asked. Her wording was awkward. Her speech was slightly stammered. However, if there was one thing Addison would always do, it was support a friend, so despite her own opinions on the matter, she ignored her feelings of doubt and checked-in with Callie who perked up at the question.
"It was…it felt like old times," Callie described with certainty. She knew she cared for Erica, but she also had yet to forgive any of their fights, their distance, and the taste of a certain peds surgeon's lips.
"That's great, Cal."
"Is it?" Callie questioned nervously. She dropped her slice of pizza back on its platter, analyzing her friend's face for honesty and sincerity.
"You being happy? Of course that is great Callie." Addison smiled at her, reaching to let their hands connect for a moment in assurance.
"so, you're not upset or…" Callie tried, realizing it was the only time she'd really be able to have this conversation with Addison who was usually accompanied by Mark or Arizona, both of which were not her biggest fans at the moment.
"It's hard. I think Mark and I both want peace. We want our two best friends to get along because we love them, and somehow you two don't get along, or you two get along too much. I'm not very sure, but I do want you to know that I support your happiness and I support her happiness, that will not change."
"What do you think makes Arizona happy?" Addison eyed her friend, repressing her eye roll, she picked up another chip instead. She took the time to chew and think, leaving Callie in silence for a moment.
"She needs someone to talk to. I think she needs someone who is willing to meet her there, to not run away from her past but embrace the way it's made her knowledgeable, understanding, caring, and maybe aloof too."
"Yeah…" Callie trailed off as the conversation started to get a bit too deep for her liking, regardless of whether or not she brought up the topic.
"I know. She's taking a break from the scene right now, but I'm trying to think of someone I could set her up with for when she's ready." Addison shrugged, returning to her meal but smirking when Callie choked on her own food.
"Um, she's taking a break?" Callie asked, her eyes interested and probing, except Addison didn't get to answer as Erica came up from behind Callie.
"Hey, sweetie. I wanted to pop by before my next surgery," Erica hovered, waiting for her girlfriend to give her a hug.
"Oh, that's nice. Good luck!" Callie gave her a tight smile, still frazzled from the previous conversation.
"Hey, you two." Addison stepped in to break up the awkwardness. "We were thinking of heading to Discovery Park this weekend if you're interested."
"Yeah, Callie was just talking about how she wanted to get back out in nature. That's perfect!" Erica's enthusiastic answer had Addison smiling while Callie could only sputter, trying to glare at her friend without Erica noticing.
—-
"I can't believe you agreed to this," Callie muttered, packing up her bag with heaps of towels, sunscreen, and pretty much everything a doctor could think of.
"You're mad when I don't hang out with your friends. You're mad when I hang out with them. What do you want me to do?" Erica threw her hands up as the two went in circles arguing.
"Arizona's gonna be there." It was meant to be a taunt to get Erica to revoke their invite, but instead her girlfriend eyed her with interest.
"Is that the problem? You don't want me around Arizona?"
"What? No! You don't like her," Callie defended herself.
"Obviously. What is there to like," Erica huffed, "but we don't have to interact. You, on the other hand, are so hot and cold with her."
"Fine, whatever. Let's just go," Callie threw her bag over her shoulder before knocking on Mark's door to signify they were ready. He opened it with a smirk, "I cannot believe I secured a day around all of you in bikinis. Are you bringing a volleyball? We need to play beach volleyball," he joked, earning an eye roll from every woman in the vicinity.
"You're a pig," Lexie stared him down as he turned to engulf her in a hug. She squealed, swatting him away while trying to explain the plan for the day.
"Meredith, Cristina, Hunt, and Derek are riding together because they're gonna come a little later, so we only need to figure out how to split us up," Lexie pointed around the room at Addison, Arizona, Mark, Callie, and Erica.
"I can drive," Mark volunteered, and Callie really wanted to take her classic car out for a spin, so she followed as well.
"Thank God Arizona isn't driving," Addison muttered under her breath.
"Or on radio," Mark added while their friend huffed, looking ready to stomp her feet.
"Okay, let's get a move on. I can take the bags, but it means I'll have less space, so hmm Lexie obviously," Mark suggested before making Arizona and Addison play rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Arizona threw out scissors, hoping Addison would go paper, but her colleague smashed her fist into her hand, shouting rock in glee. Arizona gulped as Callie's face went pale, and Erica eyed between the two of them a little too intensely.
"That's settled," Mark chuckled, forcing them all out of his apartment.
"Wow, that car," Arizona sighed, looking at the baby blue T-Bird Callie had out back.
"Yeah, she's a car girl," Erica replied, nauseous over how excited people could get over cars.
"Yeah, it's…" Arizona wanted to ask about a thousand questions but remembered all too well her enemy owned the car and her other enemy was too associated with it. Callie glanced at Arizona, interested in what she had to say about her pride and joy but when she got too caught up in how Arizona's denim shorts and blue eyes matched the car perfectly Callie forced a cough and turned away. There was no way she was going to survive today. The car ride was eerily silent, so Erica busied herself by flipping through channels. Arizona was too enamored in the back, letting her fingers glide over everything. Her brother would love this car. They used to work on cars and sometimes even small boats together when they lived in Europe for a few months to remind them of home.
The sky rained seagulls as they pulled up to a small parking lot, beating Mark by far longer than he would ever admit. Callie smirked, watching him slowly pull in. Erica went over to assist them with bags while Callie turned the car off, and Arizona seemed too intrigued to leave.
"You uh know cars?" Callie tried to start a conversation.
"Yeah, I used to always work on them…" Arizona started excitedly before it set in that she was talking to the same girl that called her hooked up with her, sent her mixed signals, and then called her a slut to end it all.
"That's cool. My dad got me into it," Arizona nodded to Callie's response before she went to help with bags as well, leaving Callie to sigh alone. 0-2 with her blonde passengers today. Throwing her towel over her shoulder, Callie went to meet up with the rest of the group who already started walking towards the beach.
Setting down their stuff, Erica quickly put down her chair and settled into her new book while Callie awkwardly placed her chair awkwardly next to her girlfriend who had her head in the pages. Arizona and Lexie literally threw their towels on the sand, not a beach chair in sight as they laughed at Mark who was stuck pulling a cart of stuff in the sand, and Addison who put on her sunglasses and walked straight past him. Addison knew how to get her beach on. She planned to sit her chair a little farther than the couple to give them space, but she was going to lay and tan regardless. Mark catching up, had to unload the cooler and dozens of things the girls packed, already jealous of the squealing and laughing of Arizona and Lexie who dived under waves, not caring that the rest of the group was still high up on the beach.
"Don't worry I got it," he said to himself, but Callie got up in pity, offering a hand. The two were still a little distant, but their friendship meant a great deal to both, and despite a few disputes they weren't willing to give up on each other.
"So, you getting in the water," he asked to fill the space.
"Eh, I might. I don't know if Erica really wants to," Callie answered, peering behind Mark to see Arizona and Lexie floating across the waves.
"Lucky, I don't think I'm going to be able to pry Lexie from the water." He joked, turning to see what Callie was looking at.
"They're like kids."
"Okay, let's not refer to my girlfriend as a child anymore." Mark quickly stepped in, and Callie just raised her eyebrows in a joking manner.
"Fine, if mine is a kid, what's yours?" Mark shot back, as Erica flipped through page after page.
"Ha ha, not funny."
"So, you gonna be okay with Robbins at the beach?" The conversation felt like their old ones, and Mark maybe enjoying the moment too well, slipped up by bringing up his other friend. Old habits die hard. Callie glared, dusting the sand off her knees as she got up and joined Erica. Mark could only huff, before throwing his shirt off and running into the cold, cold water to distract from the new awkwardness with his best friend, and maybe to see his girlfriend too.
"Anyone wanna join me?" Addie asked, getting up from her tan session. Her head leaned towards the ocean where Lexie was currently on Mark's shoulders as he struggled to jump over the waves. Arizona drifted ahead of them, becoming a very small point to her friend in the sand. Erica didn't bother with a response, and Callie shrugged her shoulders, looking between the two.
"Okay…guess you guys can show Meredith and them where we're sitting." Addison trailed off, leaving them on the sand while she ran to catch up to everyone else in the water. Arizona swam back to meet her in the middle, while Mark distracted her with a few splashes, allowing Arizona to sneak under the waves, popping right back up in front of their slightly shivering friend.
"Jesus, how are you guys in this?"
"You have to immerse yourself," Arizona said in a matter of fact tone, jumping on her friend who squealed at the coldness. Callie watched from the beach and sighed, finally prompting Erica to put down the novel.
"You can get in, you know?"
"Yeah, but you're up here," and Arizona's down there, Callie added in her head. The words numbing her mouth, unable to escape.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" Erica turned fully, book long forgotten.
"No, no why would there…ha um no why.." Callie repeatedly stammered, causing Erica to eye her from over the sunglasses on the bridge of her nose.
"So you're not sleeping with Mark again,"
"No!" The words flew from Callie's mouth like she was spitting out poison. The outburst was enough for Erica to know that Callie was not sleeping with Mark Sloan, but it was a signal that something else similar was going on.
"Then who are you sleeping with?"
"You," Callie quickly answered.
"No, you're not. I would know. You keep going through these phases. Yes, Erica come over…no, Erica, don't touch me." Callie helplessly looked out to the water, wishing the waves could wash her secrets away. Instead, they crashed ashore as Erica followed her eyeline.
"Robbins." Erica said the word definitively, wanting to let out a laugh of disbelief.
"No, no we're not…"
"I'm not stupid Callie. I know we've had our problems, but believe it or not, I do know you. I know when you lie."
"I'm not lying."
"Well then your face is already burnt from the sun, and you might have sun poisoning from how much you're stammering your words. Which is it?" Erica stared her dead in the eye, waiting for a challenge.
"God, Callie! How long?"
"Once, just once. It was after we decided to take a break, and I was confused. She was there. It didn't mean anything…" Callie pried protests from her mouth, rambling to explain herself to Erica as quickly as she could.
"You can barely look at the girl."
"Neither can you."
"Yeah because I don't like her, not because I fucked her."
"I didn't…"
"So, did you enjoy it?"
"Erica!"
"Callie, I'm sitting here on the beach with all your friends humiliating myself while she plays in the water with them. Are you not talking to her because it was a mistake, because you love me, or are you not talking to her because the guilt of liking her is eating you alive." Erica gritted her teeth, while Callie helplessly stared at her. Erica bitterly laughed when the silence carried on for too long, reaching over to pack all her stuff.
"Wait, just wait," Callie pleaded, throwing herself out of her chair and towards Erica.
"You know what you mean to me. It's been us, Erica. It is us. As soon as you came back, I knew it would be us because you were the first person to ever come back to me. For so long, I couldn't forgive your words, Erica. They burned like acid in my stomach, and I felt sick every time we hung out, and I know that's how you might feel now, but you can't doubt us. We can be happy."
"Can we?" Erica showed true vulnerability for the first time, and Callie dove into the emotion like it was the water next to them.
"We used to be." Callie's voice broke.
"If we try again, Callie, if we try again, you need to decide right now if you would never talk to Robbins again to be with me. I mean it. I don't care if you have to page a different surgeon. I don't care if you have to skip lunches with Mark and Addison. I don't care if you have to miss a night at Joes. You are to never speak to her again." With that, Callie looked down at the sand. To her, Erica felt like the broken shells buried in the sand that as a child she would glue together piece by piece to make them whole again. They would cut and scrape against her skin, but the reward always seemed worth it. Looking back one more time at the water, Callie traced the far away Arizona. Her head turned an inch to see a close Erica, and hoping that it meant something, she anchored herself to her girlfriend.