"Patrick…" An unspoken question passed between them. Patrick was quiet for a moment before he slid his hands underneath Teresa and lifted her off the counter. She locked her legs around his waist and clung to his neck as Patrick kissed her again, his hands squeezing her ass. She moaned into his mouth and suddenly they were moving.

"Where are we going?" She managed between kisses as Patrick carefully steered them through the kitchen door.

"To bed." His voice was raw with need and Teresa's whole body tensed in anticipation. Patrick's hands continued to knead her ass and thighs as he navigated them through the house towards her bedroom. He somehow managed to get the bedroom door open and Teresa was reluctant to release him as he laid her down on the bed.

As he straightened up his mind seemed to catch up with his actions and Teresa could practically see the silent war that was raging in his mind. His shoulders had tensed and his brow was furrowed, his mind clearly trying to process what he had just done. As badly as Teresa wanted to pull him back to her and finish what they started, she made herself sit up instead.

"Hey, come back to me." Her voice was soft as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it softly.

"I'm sorry." He sounded so miserable that it made her heart hurt.

"You're not allowed to say that again, understand? There's nothing to be sorry for." She tugged him to the bed and he sat down beside her. "Talk me through it. What's happening in that head of yours?"

"I know we've talked about this before." He sighed. "I don't want to bore you." She saw straight through his politeness; he was trying to give her a way out.

"I don't care what we talked about before, if you want to talk now, you know I am here." She squeezed his hand.

"Okay." He nodded and was quiet for a long moment. "I'm scared." The confession didn't surprise her and she leaned in to his side, her arm wrapping around his waist.

"Why are you scared?" She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"I'm afraid that I don't know how to be with you like this." He gestured to them and the bed.

"Well, you were off to a really good start." She teased lightly, hoping to ease some of his tension, and she was rewarded with a small smile.

"Fair enough. It's just been over a decade since, uh, you know." He winced at the incomplete thought. "In over ten years, there's only been the one time, and it was meaningless to me beyond getting to Red John. She wasn't picky, I told her what she wanted to hear, we went through the motions, but there was no pressure to actually want to please her, to make her feel good. I was playing a game and that was just part of the angle." Patrick was rushing his words now and Teresa didn't dare interrupt now that he was sharing.

"But when it comes to you, I just want everything to be perfect. Because you deserve that. And I know that isn't realistic, but I don't want to disappoint you or make you feel like you threw a whole other life away for someone like me. I'm scared I can't meet your expectations, or that you'll be disappointed…" Patrick trailed off, feeling self-conscious. Teresa knew it was hard for him to let himself to be vulnerable, to let anyone see past his confident, albeit sometimes arrogant, facade. She reached up to gently cup his chin and waited until he met her eyes.

"Patrick Jane, I didn't throw anything away for you. I chose not to go to D.C because of you, because of how I felt about you and have felt about you for years now. And those feelings have only intensified and grown over the past several months as we've learned to navigate being together. So don't you dare think for a minute that you took anything from me; you have given me so much more than I could've imagined."

"I guess when you put it that way." He tried for a smile.

"As far as being disappointed, or having expectations, there aren't any. I just want you to be happy, because I am happy. And you know what makes me happy?"

"Hmm?"

"You coming after me at the airport, origami birds, orange blossom ice cream, surprise dinners and baths, falling asleep with you holding me, this," she held up their joined hands, "being able to talk about things. Do I need to keep going?"

"I think I'm starting to understand things from your perspective. Although I think you forgot a few things."

"Do I need to go on?" She teased. "Give yourself some grace, okay?" He nodded and was quiet for a spell.

"So, no expectations? Really? You've never thought about us?"

"I didn't say that." She smiled at his gentle ribbing.

"Oh, so you have?" He arched a brow and nudged her side. "How very naughty of you."

"There's my Jane." She smiled and reached up to kiss him. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, or I'm on my way there at least. Thank you. I think it is safe to say I'd be lost without you."

"Of course. Anything I can do to help?"

"Just keep being here." He squeezed her to his side.

"That I can do."

.

.

.

Author note: And so the smut begins. Feel free to skip if this isn't your thing. I'm also a lesbian, so please excuse any fumbling ahead; I'm out of my element

"I love you." Teresa's words from earlier that afternoon kept replaying over and over in Patrick's head. He'd never doubted her of course but hearing her say the words had been an absolute rush. It seemed like such a simple thing to say after everything they had discussed with each other, but he knew that for her it was a big deal. She loved him, of all the people in the world she had chosen him despite all his broken and battered parts. And God, did he love her back. He had forgotten just how scary, how all consuming, a love like this could be. The constant weight of the "what ifs" weighed heavily upon him, especially when they were in the field. If something happened to Teresa, he didn't think he could bear it. The future was constantly on his mind lately, and that was scary in its own way. And then there was the fact that they still hadn't-

"Hey, you okay?" Teresa's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up from his spot by the window and found Teresa still curled up on his bed with her book.

"Yes, sorry. Just thinking." He smiled.

"Want to talk about it?" She closed her book, sat up, and patted the bed next to her.

"I was thinking about you actually." He smiled and moved to sit on the bed beside her.

"Oh really?" She hooked an arm around his middle and pulled him close. "Not thinking of running, are you?"

"Quite the opposite actually." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I wouldn't want to bore you with the details."

"I've always been a stickler for the details." She teased and reached up to scratch her fingers through the hair at his nape. He closed his eyes and sighed softly as he leaned into her touch.

"I was thinking that today was very nice. You should visit your brothers more, they like having you around."

"I know." She sighed. "It's just hard to get away. And like I said, we're messy people." She winced at the overused, lame excuse. She really did want a better relationship with her brothers and their families, she just wasn't sure where to start.

"Eh, I've seen messier." He pulled her back to lie down with him. Teresa curled into his side and rested her head on his chest with a yawn. Patrick slid a hand up the back of her shirt and traced absent minded patterns on her back.

"You're right though, I need to be better. I'm always pushing the boys to be better, so I need to take my own advice."

"You'll figure it out in your own way. Calling each other outside of a crisis might be a good start."

"Fair point."

"Besides, there might be a cousin in the picture one day and it'd be a shame for them to grow up without knowing their family." He hadn't intended to speak that particular thought aloud, but there it was. "What sounds good for dinner?"

"Oh no you don't, you're not just going to slip that in there and deflect." She rolled on top of him and pinned him down with her gaze.

"It was just a passing thought." That was a lie. His fantasies about Teresa extended far beyond the sexual these days.

"Whatever you say." Teresa rolled her eyes but was still smirking at him. "Any other passing thoughts I should know about?" She gazed down at him as she supported herself on her elbows. He took a moment to respond, distracted by her weight resting against him, their bodies pressing together.

"Oh, you know." He cleared his throat. "The others aren't so passive."

"Care to tell me about them?" She murmured as she stroked her fingers through his hair. Patrick closed his eyes and was aware of every inch of contact between their bodies. She kissed him gently, her lips lingering on his, a silent offering for something more if he wanted to take it. It had been some time since he had whisked her off to bed before chickening out, and lately that scenario was popping into his mind more and more often, albeit with very different endings. Patrick wanted her so badly, and he knew she wanted him, so why did he keep fighting it?

"I could show you." The words surprised him as much as they did her judging by the look on her face. But what surprised him even more was that he had no desire to take them back, or to try to run away. "I, uh, might need some help though. If I get…stuck." He winced, feeling foolish. Stuck? He wasn't some fumbling teenager boy, but damn he sure felt like one.

"Just tell me what you need." Teresa planted light kisses along his jaw up to his ear and then back to his lips. Patrick tried to form a coherent response, all too aware of the cramped space and tiny bed they were in.

"You, I need you." He closed his eyes and drew in a ragged breath. "but not here, not like this." He sounded conflicted about that statement, like he only halfheartedly believed what he was saying.

"And why not?" She pulled back to look him in the eyes. It didn't matter to her how the night ended, but they were going to talk it through to whatever resolution presented itself.

"Because we're in my trailer parked at the back of some park where we just spent the day with your family. I should be whisking you off to some fancy hotel or resort, romancing you over dinner."

"This trailer is a part of you, and I just happen to adore every part of you." She used her thumb to smooth the crease between his eyes. "I don't care about where we are, or what we're in. I care about being here with you." She threaded the fingers of one hand through his and squeezed. "Besides, didn't you tell me once that you wouldn't seduce me over dinner?" She grinned at him. "But if you need more time you know-"

"You remember that?" Patrick surprised her by rolling them over so that she was beneath him. He knelt back on his knees, pinning her to the mattress, and looked down at her. His eyes were dark with need, and she finally saw a flicker of confidence returning to his face.

"Well, hi there." She smirked up at him and did her best to ignore the urge to grind against him. She was going to let him take the lead, at least for now.

"Oh, don't look so smug Lisbon."

"You're so one to talk." She laughed. "You're the master of smug."

"I could take offense to that, you know." He tried to keep a straight face but couldn't help but laugh with her. She shifted beneath him, and Patrick was suddenly very still. Seeing her beneath him, her eyes bright and laughter on her lips, knowing that she wanted him; it was better than anything he could have imagined.

"You're sure about this?" She asked quietly, mistaking his stillness for uncertainty.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He ignored her question and brushed his thumb over her cheek.

"Patrick." She blushed and looked away. It amazed him how she could go from being sexy and confident to so shy and embarrassed over a compliment.

"A compliment isn't going to kill you, Teresa." It was his turn to smirk at her. "Come here."

He shifted off of her so that he was sitting on the bed and offered her his hand. She pulled herself up beside him and looked at him quizzically, her hand still in his.

"Yes?" Instead of responding, he cupped her chin and kissed her gently. "Mmm." Teresa pushed her hand against his chest in an attempt to push him back down, but Patrick resisted and broke their kiss.

"Ah ah."

"What?" She pouted at him, and he felt his gut clench. Teresa Lisbon pouting at him was completely disarming. He felt himself stirring in his pants and he wondered if she had any idea just how much she affected him.

"Patience." He murmured as he leaned in close to her. He brushed his nose along her jaw and avoided her attempt to capture his lips with a grin. His lips peppered kisses along her temple, her cheek, the corner of her mouth, but he continued to ignore her lips. He pressed kisses down her neck and across her collar as she moved one hand into his hair. Her fingers scratched at his scalp before tangling in his curls and he gently reached up to capture her hand in his.

"Are you trying to distract me?" He pulled back just enough to look at her with a smile, his breath tickling her neck.

"No. I just want to touch you." Her reply was breathless and needy.

"That almost sounded like whining." He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes. "Now," he took both of her hands into one of his, "sit still. Please?"

"Fine." She tried to sound exasperated, but he saw through it; she was anything but put out by his actions.

"Good girl." He flashed her that special grin of his before returning his attention to her neck. His continued to lavish kisses along the edge of her (formally his, she was becoming quite the clothing thief) pajama top before making his way back up to her lips. When he finally kissed her on the mouth she attacked him feverishly, her hands straining in his. Their kiss was a battle for dominance, their tongues straining against each other, both of them trying to claim the other's mouth for their own.

While distracted by their heated kiss, Teresa had somehow managed to shift herself into his lap. She was becoming increasingly aware of the bulge that was pressing against her butt and she couldn't resist the urge to grind against him. Patrick made a sound in the back of his throat as he broke their kiss. She expected him to comment on her failing to follow instructions, but he stayed quiet as he turned his attention back to her torso. He traced his thumb along the edge of her shirt, his nail skimming along her skin. He finally moved his fingers to the top two buttons, and he unbuttoned them before gently tugging on her sleeves so that her shoulders and the swell of her breasts were visible. He stared at the expanse of creamy skin and freckles that he had exposed, and suddenly he couldn't make himself move. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her everywhere, but he didn't know where to start. It was like his brain had overloaded and he couldn't remember where to start.

"Can I help?" Her voice was a whisper as she captured his gaze. Patrick just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. She freed her hands from his and began unbuttoning the shirt from the bottom. He watched as it fell open bit by bit, exposing her navel, the muscles in her abdomen, the bottom of her breast. She paused over the button that held the shirt closed, the button that would expose herself fully to him. Her eyes were playful and teasing, and he would have been ready to beg if he could have formed a coherent thought. The painful straining in his pants was evidence that she was undoing him without even touching him. She leaned in for a lingering kiss before she undid the last button and shrugged the shirt off, her eyes never leaving his.

"There." She gently took one of his hands and laid it against her stomach, inviting him to take the lead again. His hand splayed across her stomach, his fingers pulsing softly, as he continued to gaze into her eyes. The way she looked at him with complete trust and love, the way her eyes begged him to continue, finally seemed to snap him out of his trance.

Patrick slid his hand to her side, and he caressed down to her hip, his fingers kneading along the curve of her ass, his thumb firmly brushing along the waistband of the boxers she wore. Teresa's breathing was heavier, her own eyes darker, as he trailed his fingers inwards across the soft skin just below her navel and then upwards along the line that her abs formed. He traced one single finger upwards along her sternum, between her perky breast, and her breath caught as his palm just grazed her nipple.

Her reaction to his teasing bolstered his confidence and continued to trace a path along the outline of one breast, then the other, before gently pinching a nipple between thumb and finger. Teresa gasped, her body jerking, and Patrick bit back a moan at the sudden friction against his erection. He had to get her off his lap before things could end before he embarrassed himself and ended things early.

She didn't resist as he pulled them back to lie on the bed and moved so that he was on top of her. She moved one of her thighs between his legs and the smirk playing at her lips let him know that she knew exactly what she was doing to him. He supported himself on his forearms as he began to press kisses across her shoulders, angling his path inwards until he found the swell of her breast. His lips lingered just above her nipple, sucking and nipping until Teresa's fingers dug into his back and her thigh pressed hard against him.

"Stop teasing me." Her voice was raspy with need, but it was a halfhearted request at best; she was clearly enjoying herself. His eyes flicked to hers and he held her gaze as he drew one of her nipples into his mouth and flicked his tongue across it. Her eyes closed and her head fell back as he rolled the bud between his teeth and sucked hard. Meanwhile he ghosted one hand back down her side and across her waistband. The skin between her hip and navel jerked at his touch as he slid a hand into her boxers. Her skin was smooth and silky as he slid his hand down along her thigh and back to her hip. His knuckles brushed against swollen lips and the quick touch told him she was soaked and wanting him.

"Patrick." The way she half moaned his name sent a jolt through him and his pants were suddenly painfully tight. She reached between them to fumble with the button on his paints, grumbling something about him still being dressed from the day, but her words didn't register as he traced his fingers along her swollen lips. Her shaking fingers finally managed to get his button undone and she yanked his zipper down before shoving his pants and briefs away from his hips. He dipped a finger into her soaked folds just as his erection sprang free and she frantically pulled him into another kiss, desperate for more, her thigh working against his rock-hard length.

"Teresa." His own voice was shaky as he tried to warn her. "Careful, or this is going to end sooner rather than later."

"You're telling me." She panted as she arched into his fingers, silently begging him to do more than just stroke along the length of her wetness. Patrick dipped a finger into her as his thumb moved to find her clit. She gasped as he pressed into her and her nails dug into his back, her face burrowing against his neck, as his fingers let her body set the rhythm. She rocked against his hand as his fingers pumped in and out of her, his thumb swirling and pressing rhythmically against her clit. He was surprised by the soft mewls and whimpers that kept escaping her, and they spurred him on. Her entire body seemed to tense, and she reached down to grab his wrist.

"Stop." She gasped out the word, her chest heaving. Patrick froze in place and looked at her in surprise. She had been so close; her muscles had been quivering around him and her nails had been raking across his back. It had been an absolutely intoxicating feeling to see her coming undone at his hand.

"What's wrong?" His brow creased as he pulled his hand out of her boxers, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what had gone wrong.

"Sorry," she sucked in a shaky breath, her cheeks flushed. "Nothing's wrong. I just…don't want to finish that way. Not this time." Her ears burned red, and the end of her sentence was mumbled.

"Oh." Realization dawned on him, and he felt his cock twitch as her words sank in. "Oh."

"Please?" She peeked up at him through her lashes, those green eyes dark with hunger. Patrick had a feeling that begging was not something that came easy to her and he felt any lingering fears or concerns crumble away.

"Teresa." He captured her mouth in a soft and sweet kiss, his hands caressing her back. She reached between them and he jerked as she took his length in her hand. She squeezed and he moaned into their kiss as he thrust against her hand with a grunt.

"Roll over." It wasn't a question; it was a command. Patrick obliged and rolled on to his back, his own breathing as ragged as hers. Teresa straddled him, his length in her hand, and she stroked him once, twice, three times. The veins in his neck strained as his head pressed into the mattress, his eyes closed, and his fingers dug into her hips.

"I can't-" He forgot whatever he was going to say about not lasting as Teresa slid the head of his cock against her wetness. Looking up at her as she straddled him, his cock in her hand as she lined him up to take her, it was too much. "Fuck." He rasped. Their gazes locked and he forgot how to breathe as she slowly stretched her body out along his. She lined him up once more and slowly let herself sink on to his length until he was buried inside her. Both of them were still for what seemed like an eternity as their bodies soaked up the feeling of simply being together at last.

Teresa was the first to move, her hips rolling as she began to ride him. Her hand ran up his arm and to his hand that rested by their heads and she twined her fingers with his as she dominated his mouth in a kiss. He began meeting her thrust for thrust, his free hand clutching her ass and pulling her to him in time with their motions. Her free hand was tangled in his hair and she was tugging and scratching as the pleasure began to consume her. Their kiss broke when neither of them were able to control their actions anymore. His head fell back and he squeezed their combined hands tightly. She pressed her face to his neck and he felt the bite of her teeth on his shoulder. His free hand snaked between them to find her clit and he thrust into her hard as he began to frantically work his finger against her clit, fighting off his own release. One of her knees shifted above his hip, desperate to feel more of him. The new angle of her hips allowed his thrusts to hit something inside her that made her whole body shake.

Teresa came undone with a cry as Patrick repeatedly thrust against the spot, her walls clenching around him, pulling him deeper. He tried to ride her through her orgasm, but it was too much. He came right behind her with a grunt, unable to fight it any longer, his heart hammering in his chest as he emptied himself inside her. The airstream was silent as they laid there together for some time after, their hands and legs still tangled together, her face hidden in neck. His free hand stroked soothingly up and down her back, but otherwise they were motionless as they both tried to catch their breath and regain control of themselves. Teresa finally lifted her head to peek up with him and the sheepish smile on her face matched his own.

"Hi."

"Hi." He grinned and brushed the hair from her face. "You okay?"

"More than okay." She brushed her lips against his. "What about you?"

"I'm completely smitten." He answered honestly.

"You weren't before?" She teased him, her thumb stroking across the stubble of his cheek.

"Oh, I was. But you get what I mean. I hope."

"I do." She was still smiling.

"Questions, concerns, rude remarks? Any failed expectations?" His eyes were lighter, bluer now, twinkling with their usual mischief.

"Oh, hush." She swatted his chest before nuzzling her face against his neck. He wrapped his arms around her with a chuckle and stifled a yawn. "Hey, Patrick?"

"Hmm?" He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I love you."

"I love you too."