There was something in the air today, it reminded her of the ambiance when Miraz had left the castle only more ominous. It seemed like everyone was on edge since that morning.

Anastasia wasn't generally the most pleasant person to work for but that day she seemed particularly heinous.

"Is there something happening today?" Alessandra whispered to Tamara as they traversed the passageway to drop off the dirty linens from Caspian's room.

If there was one thing she'd learned from working alongside the older woman was that she loved to gossip, her eyes lit up with glee at the chance to do so.

"Well," she said, glancing around as if someone was going to pop out, "You didn't hear from me but word is that Lord Miraz sent out for a specialist physician a few days ago and they should be arriving today."

"And that means?" Alessandra trailed off wondering why that was significant.

"It means," she huffed as if she was annoyed that Alessandra wasn't understanding what she was trying to say, "It's highly likely that Lady Prunaprismia is with child."

"What?" She gasped, "Are you sure?'

"I'm almost certain. Word is they've been trying for quite some time and seems like his grace's seed may have finally taken root. Otherwise they wouldn't have sent out for a specialist."

That made sense, it was no secret that Miraz wanted the throne, the throne that was rightfully Caspian's. Since Caspian was the rightful heir Miraz couldn't stake his claim without an heir of his own, if he had one then there was no need for Caspian.

That made her think about Caspian and how he must be feeling with the news hanging over their heads. But of course she couldn't say anything about that to Tamara, so she carried on with her tasks as normal.

The ominous energy remained in the atmosphere well until dinner. Which she shared with Steph and Bruno for a change.

"But what should I say to him?" Alessandra asked her friends desperately.

"I don't know love," Steph said sincerely, feeling as distraught as her friend, "I don't think any of us have had to deal with anything like this before."

Bruno sighed, reaching around Steph's side where she reclined into him to snag a berry from the basket on her lap, "She's right Les, you want my advice?" He asked and she nodded eagerly, "Talk to him," he said simply tossing a berry into his mouth, "I could only imagine how much is on his mind right now."

He was right, and she wasn't surprised, Bruno was quiet and thoughtful so she normally took his advice in stride and it was usually very good advice. They continued their dinner keeping the topics light and innocuous until they were done and went their separate ways.

Alessandra volunteered to dispose of their trash to give the couple more time together and by the time she returned to the kitchen, usually, empty or emptying by this time Anastasia was there putting together a basket of sorts.

"What's that for?" She asked before she could stop herself.

Anastasia cut her a scathing look and she wished she'd kept quiet. "If you must know, Lord Miraz requested a basket with his wife's favourites in celebration."

Alessandra felt her mouth go dry, she didn't need to ask in celebration of what because it could only be one thing, the one thing the castle had been buzzing about all day. She thanked Anastasia for sharing and immediately rushing out, hoping that she didn't rouse any suspicion in her boss.

It was rather early, but she doubted that Caspian went to dinner with his uncle on that particular night so she made the familiar trip to his study.

Unsurprisingly he was there when she entered his study, Caspian didn't stand to greet her like she'd come to expect, though she suspected he was still reeling from the shock of his uncle finally bearing a child. Whether or not it was to be a son was impossible to determine at this time, but that idea that it could be a boy undoubtedly had him on edge.

"Cas," she called carefully when he didn't look up from his studies, "Are you well?"

"Yes I'm fine," he said shortly, not even bothering to pause his writing.

"News is spreading around the castle, I can't imagine what you could be feeling," she rounded the desk as she spoke coming to a stop near his side reaching out to place her hands on his shoulders, "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you-" she was cut off as he abruptly stood from his chair and moved a few paces away, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No I'm quite not alright," he snapped, running a hand down his face in apparent frustration, "I cannot do this."

"Do what?"

"This," he snapped, gesturing to the space between them, "Cannot continue on."

"Cas, what are you saying?"

"I am saying that this shouldn't have happened," he said, sounding to her ears like he was trying to force the words out. He was angry, that much she could tell but his anger wasn't for her. With that in mind she turned to face him, "And you need to leave." he said at least, she didn't respond and only shook her head, "Leave Alessandra, now!" he snapped again raising his voice as much as the semi-privacy of his study would allow.

"No."

"I am your Prince and I command you to go! I don't want you here anymore, do you hear me? Go!"

"I heard you Caspian," she said despite the pain in her heart at hearing the words she feared for so long fall from his lips, "But I am not leaving."

"This cannot continue Alessandra, I don't want you. Leave."

"No."

"No?" His head tilted before he snapped back, seeming to remember that he was supposed to be angry. But the slip in his facade was enough for her, "You defy me?"

"Yes I do. Because despite all you've said, I've yet to hear you say that you do not love me." She told him plainly and the shock caused him to falter again. The walls he was so desperately trying to put up crumbling, "If you say that, then I will go."

"This is madness," he finally said with his mouth slightly agape, "You need to go, for your own safety-"

It was she who cut him off this time, "Do you love me?"

Caspian's mouth dropped further, all the previous anger in him that was trying to grasp fading into confusion, "I'm trying to protect you."

"Do you love me?" She repeated rounding the table in his study to stand before him and there was nowhere for him to go.

"I cannot-"

"Do you love me?"

"We cannot, Alessandra this conversation isn't-"

"Do you love me?"

"Alessandra, please stop!"

"Is it because you think I cannot love you? That I am afraid too? That it this is wrong? Because I don't care Caspian, I do. I love you." she confessed at last and the false anger melted from his face.

"I love you so much, that I will do as you ask, I will walk out that door and never return if that is what you wish. If you do not love me, then that's all you have to say and I will leave. I'll go back to the kitchens, I'll be a maid, and nothing more. I will make do, and fill my days with work and I will survive, because that is what I have always done all on my own." She took another step closer to him, "But first you need to tell me that you do not love me. Tell me that you are leaving me alone in this world."

"I-," he stammered, "I'm a man all but marked for death Alessandra, I'm a danger to everyone around me. If my uncle bears a son I will not be safe."

"Do you love me?"

"I will have to run, you don't want a life with me, I bring darkness."

"Caspian, I make that decision, not you. I will stand between you and a thousand telmarine swords if that is what it takes. I will be your light, do you love me?"

"I love you!" he all but shouted at last, breathing heavily as if the confession took the air out of his lungs, "I've loved you since the moment I met you in the kitchen, I cannot breath when you're not here, my heart beats for you," he took a step closer his hands coming up to cradle her face as tears welled up in his eyes, "I love you Alessandra." he pressed his lips to hers as the tears spilled over.

He pulled back after a long moment, his forehead resting against hers, "If my uncle bears a son, the castle won't be safe" he explained running his hands up and down her back, "I cannot ask you to run with me."

"You don't have to," she responded leaning back slightly to catch his eye, "It's you and me Cas, no matter what I am with you."

His lips came down on her again, gentle at first but quickly growing deeper, her tongue slipping out to trace the seam of his lips and he opened eagerly for her, his hands slid down to her hips gripping and tugging her closer while her tongue invaded his mouth. He forced his legs to move then forward, sending her backwards blindly until they reached the bookshelf. She hit the shelf harder than he meant for her too, he had intended to bring a hand up to brace them to spare her back the brunt of the collision but those hands had been busy diving through the layers of her skirt to try and find the heat between her thighs.

She broke away at the collision with a groan that sounded like quite the opposite of a woman in pain, Caspian used the opportunity to latch his lips onto her neck. He took the time to exercise a small amount of caution, the distant part of his brain that was still working reminding him that visible love bites on her neck would be met with far more scrutiny and judgement than they did on him. It took some restraint but he did pause, tampering down the fire between them for a moment. He pulled his head back, waiting for a moment for her eyes to look into his. He needed her full attention.

"Tell me to stop and I shall." he whispered through deep laboured breaths that stirred the strands of hair framing her face, his thumbs absentmindedly tracing the underside of her breast.

She paused searching for something in his eyes, that she must have found because she moved her hands, covering the backs of his and bringing them upwards one to her face where she pressed soft kisses to his fingertips, the other to cover her breast fully. "Never." and with that one of his fraying threads of self control snapped.

He surged forward once again, slathering kisses all over her chest, her hands fell to his head where they tangled in his hair and he reached around her to undo the ties holding the top of her dress together. It took some maneuvering and far more patience than he thought himself capable of in that moment, but finally the top of her dress sagged, he all but tore it the rest of the way down her arms in an effort to get his mouth on her as quickly as possible. The groan of satisfaction that ripped from his chest a second later proved that it wasn't a moment too soon.

Caspian felt a cool breeze at his back, he realized that she had tugged his shirt up but it was stuck around his shoulders. Although it pained him, he forced himself away from her chest to peel the shirt the rest of the way off. If only to have one less barrier between them. Then he was back working at her chest.

It wasn't fair how warm Caspian always was, she felt him jump beneath her fingertips when she placed them on his side, he always teased her for how cold her hands were. His hands are all but glued to her chest, one holding her breast as his thumb flicks over that peak, the other holding her up to his mouth for his feast. Her hands are not so complacent, freely exploring every inch of bare skin she could reach, never having seen or felt so much of him before. Her fingers grazed the top of his trousers the same time he decided to take his exploration lower his lips and hand blazing a hot trail over the parts of her that her dress still covered, until he was on his knees before her. It wasn't until the fabric went slacker that she realized that he was dragging the fabric down along with him.

It took another moment for her to realize that he'd stopped and when she opened her eyes to see a prince, her prince on his knees before her, another question in his eyes that she could practically see forming in his mouth. She moved her hand, previously resting in his hair to press a finger to his lips before the words escaped, lest his incessant need to establish protocol ruin the moment with words. She only nodded, because she knew what he wanted to ask, he had her full permission to see her, to touch her, even taste her if he wanted. He didn't linger a moment longer as he pulled her dress the rest of the way off.

He wants to savour her, Caspian truly does, he wants to gaze upon every inch of her while he can, but as soon as she is revealed to him fully he couldn't resist leaning in his mouth at her inner thighs, she was too tempting. And was right in front of him, bare and smelling like the sweetest sin. His visual feast would have to wait.

Her knees quivered, his mouth hot and such a stark contrast to when she'd felt his hands there. He tried hard not to leave marks on her neck and shoulders, anywhere that was otherwise visible but didn't have such qualms as he sucked and nibbled his way to her centre. Her fingers bury deep into his hair, the dark locks soft as they tangle around her fingers. When his mouth finally finds her she chokes on a long sigh, rivalled only by the one Caspian let out that she felt spread along the top of her thighs, as if he was parched and had suddenly found a fountain of youth.

One of her hands left his hair as he tongue and lips become more bold, desperately she tries to grab for something to help steady her, but all she succeeds in is knocking a few books off the shelf. Caspian didn't make things any easier for her when his fingers grip her thigh like he is trying to brand his prints there and hold her open, lifting her leg until he tosses it over her shoulder. She can't find it in herself to be embarrassed or ashamed of the extremely vulnerable position he suddenly put her in. not when he's kissing the lips between her legs like he does her mouth, moaning when he swipes his tongue at the source. Not when his lips attach to her bundle and he sucks hard and the leg she's balancing on trembles. Not when two fingers glide into her and her end shocks them both.

Caspian ripped his hand away to place it back on her thigh to hold her steady, his mouth doesn't relent even as she shakes and tries not to wail too loudly. In fact for a brief moment once her trembling subsides Caspian lifts his head to gaze up at her, only to look back at her weeping core and moving like he was ready for seconds. But Alessandra was hungry for something more now, she threaded her fingers through the hair at the front of his head and pushed him back. He followed her silent command without question, rising to his feet once again.

Once he's up she attaches to his lips stepping out of her crumpled dress resting on the floor blindly guiding him back towards his bedroom. His kiss tastes different in that moment and he could only assume that it was her essence she was sucking off his tongue. "Say it again?" she mumbles into his mouth as Caspian finally gets the idea that it should be him leading since it was his room after all.

"I love you." he mumbled after a long moment of twisting tongues.

She nearly melted as, they came to a stop at the edge of his bed, his hands cupping the sides of her face holding her as he lavished her mouth. Her hands retraced the familiar path down his sides, catching the end of his trousers and guiding them down, "Again?"

Caspian, for all his awkward bumbling, does find his moments to surprise her, he firmly grips her face forcing her eyes to meet his, "I love you my light." he says swallowing the choked sound that came from her before pushing her back onto his bed as he stepped fully out of his trousers before joining her. He settles easily in between her legs connecting their lips again, easily sliding his tongue against hers, pushing a hand into her hair to get a better angle.

Alessandra thought it unfair that he'd touched her, seen her and now tasted her so intimately when she'd not even gotten a glimpse of him, and since he was in no hurry to detach his mouth from hers, she would have to settle for feeling him. Her hands, now warmer from groping his skin, slid down his sides. Caspian was firm all over, but the length between his legs is hard, hot and smooth like the linens she's placed on his bed for months. She was amazed that she could feel his pulse, pounding in time with her own weeping centre. She squeezes experimentally and he groans like a man in pain as his tongue retreats from her mouth and his hand shoots down to grab her wrist.

"Alessandra my-" he cuts himself off with another groan as she squeezes him again, she likes his sounds, and the glare he shot her when she did it a third time made her tingle. He tries to scold her for it, his words coming out in a rush, "My sweetling," he may have meant to say 'sweetheart' but halfway though started to say 'darling', "I fear I will not last if you continue." He warned her, scooping up her wrists and bringing her hands to rest beside her head.

"What if that's what I want?" She half teased, leaning up to slide her tongue into his mouth.

"Another time perhaps?" He teased accepting her deep kiss as he settled further between her legs, one hand leaving her restrained wrists to take hold of his length and help guide him.

"Do you still want to do this?" He asked carefully once more.

"Yes," she responded again without a moment of hesitation, "Do you?"

"Absolutely." With that he kissed her again before settling himself at her entrance, his hand left himself to settle on her hip to anchor. He swore as he glided into her smoothly aided by her wetness and his.

It was the first time she'd heard Caspian curse before, any other time she may have teased him for it but she was focused on the feel of him inching inside of her. When Caspian first brought her to completion in his lap, she was more than satisfied but was left with an undeniable feeling of emptiness between her legs, even when he used his fingers. She knew that he was expected to fit there and this proved it, even if it was slightly uncomfortable at first. She still hadn't seen him but she just knew he wasn't all the way inside yet.

She squeezed his hand, fingers still interlocked with his, "More," She urged and he obliged, sliding forward another inch and being met with resistance. Involuntarily she flinched and he stopped, lifting his head, his eyes finding hers right away.

"Are you well?" He asked, failing to keep the shake out of his voice. It was then that she noticed how he was nearly trembling above her, the hand on her hip squeezing so tight she was sure to have bruises come morning.

"Yes," she whispered to the space between them before kissing him again, "More," She repeated and he nodded, showering anywhere he could reach with kisses as he pushed past the small barrier. The discomfort lasted for a moment before it was eclipsed by the feeling of Caspian being fully seated inside of her. Then he began to move, his body rolling like waves. It's nearly too much, her senses being so overwhelmed by him that she has to break their kiss and sink back into his pillow, he wasn't deterred simply turning his attention back to her neck and chest, trying to find a spot that he liked to mark his previous logical reasoning flying out the window.

Normally he would've been more careful but being so caught up in her and the night's confessions, he found a spot on the side of her neck and began sucking without thinking too much about it. She seized him by his hair and pulled forcing his head back, "No marks." She snapped and the combination of her tone and actions caused heat to shoot across his stomach and a hard thrust into her heat made them both groan.

"I'm sorry my love," he rushed out before kissing her again.

"I love you," she told him this time when they broke apart, he groaned falling to his elbows as if her words wounded him, his chest pressed against hers, his hips locked to hers as he kissed her again, his hand trailed along her side until he caught her thigh pulling her leg up til it rested against his side allowing him to reach deeper inside of her. The shift in position allowed him to reach deeper inside and he brushed against something that made her gasp and her eyes popped open locking with his which almost appeared concerned. "Do that again." She demanded before he could question her, he complied and hit that spot again.

Even though he wasn't sure what exactly he was doing, seeing the pleasure building on her face made him target that spot, his thrusts consistent and strong against her. It must have worked for a few thrusts later her eyes closed and her nails dug into the back of his hand and the skin on his back as she finished with a long moan, he wasn't far behind the sight of her undoing and the feel of her around him and beneath him worked to pull him over the edge behind her.

He fell into her then, his arms not bothering to bear his weight anymore and she welcomed him into her arms, burying her fingers into his slightly damp hair and running her nails up and down his back in soothing strokes. He somehow finds the strength to lift his head and kiss her again, even with all they'd done he couldn't get enough, he still wanted more even as his length softened inside of her.

He leaned his forehead against hers as they came apart, his hand coming up to cup the side of her neck, able to feel her pulse thundering against his palm, "Stay?" he whispered into the small space between them, "Stay with me?" It was a loaded question, they both felt it, it wasn't any different than any other night he'd asked her to stay with him but yet it was. The fear he was feeling for both his safety and hers made him want her as close as possible, their confessions from the night before hung heavy.

"I'm not going anywhere." she responded her hand, previously stroking his hair coming up to cradle his.

His heart soared, they both knew she meant much more than just staying the night, though reluctant to part from her for even a moment. He knew he had to as they both felt some of his spend leak out of her, though his legs threatened to quake with tremors he was able to stand and fetch a clean cloth from his basket of linens and return to the bed to dip one side in the basin of water he kept on his stand. He was careful as he wiped between her legs, then himself almost as an afterthought. Eagerly though he returned to her and tucked them both beneath his sheets, tugging her into the cradle of his arms, he still wanted her closer. He pulled her leg up over both of his and her head to rest on his chest, his leg slid between hers and he felt not so much as heard her giggle against his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere Cas," she repeated with laughter in her voice that made his heart sing, he smiled despite himself at her tease as she tilted her head up to met his lips again. Moments later they settled, and although he wanted to rip his chest open so she could crawl inside and maybe then she would finally be close enough he refrained and eventually followed her into a dreamless slumber.

She felt when Caspian woke, his breathing paused before a deep sigh left him, it wasn't morning just yet for she didn't feel the warmth of sunlight creeping into Caspian's chamber, but it was close. They'd shifted in the night and she'd turned on her other side half hugging one of his pillows, Caspian of course moved with her now draped over her from behind his arms locked around her waist, reluctant to be apart even as they slept.

Except now they were awake and still had to face the day, it was as if she could sense the moment that realization washed over him. His previously relaxed frame tensing up as he prepared to carry his burdens all alone. Her hand trailed his arm around her waist until it caught his hand and brought it up to her mouth kissing the back of it. He sighed again before kissing her shoulder in return.

"I want to give you something." he mumbled, his voice deeper than it normally was thanks to the early hour. She wasn't given a chance to respond before he untangled himself from her and sat up, the sheets pooling at his waist. She followed, trying to preserve some of her decency by holding the sheets up to his chest and he whistled softly and his falcon flew from her perch and onto his waiting arm.

Alessandra had never seen the bird up close and she stared back into its strangely knowing looking eyes as Caspian removed a thin cord from around its neck before sending her back.

From there he leaned over to his bedside table and pulled the drawer open, unashamed in her curiosity she leaned over his shoulder and watched him pull the drawer all the way out and set it on the bed in front of him, in the dim morning light she was able to see the small latch inside where he stuck the key in and turned.

She withheld her questions as the false bottom popped open and he pulled it out revealing stacks of papers that looked like letters, a quill and pot of ink and a few small jewellery boxes one of which he pulled out. He suddenly looked shy as he peeked at her from the corner of his eye beneath his hair.

"This box contains the last memories I have of my parents, my memories. Not ones that the castle's hidden away." He teasing smile softened. "My father," he paused clearing his throat opening the box but keeping its contents hidden, "Presented this to my mother, when he courted her, I never thought I'd have use for it but, he promised me one day I would, and I'm happy to say that he was right."

Then he pulled out the most gorgeous necklace she'd ever laid her eyes on. It also was probably worth more than she'd ever make in a lifetime. What struck her was how simple it was too, it was a near white stone laid in a gold frame and hung on a thin gold chain. The stone itself was the star, the way the light shone off of it made it look like there were tiny rainbows inside.

"Cas it's beautiful." She told him mesmerised by the way the light danced in the stone.

"It's yours."

"What?" She asked in shock, as he looked back at her with a soft smile.

"My father wanted me to give this to the woman I would one day court," he explained as if it were just that simple, "It's yours My Light."

"Caspian, it's too nice, someone might question it, or try to steal it or-" as she stammered Caspian was undeterred, simply leaning forward and her words slowed to a stop as he went ahead and fastened the chain around her neck.

It hung low on her chest and if she tucked it away would easily be hidden by the top of her dress so that only the chain remained visible.

"If anyone questions you, tell them it was a gift," he explained lowly as he leaned back, his long fingers following the trail that the chain made down her neck, "And I should expect that you'd never take it off therefore it should never be stolen, yes?"

"Yes." She whispered, his hand becoming more bold on its journey down her neck, adjusting the stone so that it sat between her breasts, the sheets protecting her having long since slipped away, before coming back up to rest along the front of her neck.

"Do you accept me?" He asked, meeting her eyes.

"Yes," she whispered again leaning into his touch around her neck, the heat of him blazing a trail along her entire body, "If you'll have me?" She added.

A smirk tugged at his lips as he tightened his grip ever so slightly, not attempting to limit her breathing in the slightest but reinforce his hold on her, "I'd have you everyday if I could."

With that he finally kissed her, his tongue wasting no time in invading her mouth, which she let him do all too willingly. Even though he explored even part of her last night it seemed as if he was searching for more with the way he hardly let her breath.

It was different from the other kisses they'd shared, this was consuming and demanding, his hold on her neck prevented her from taking any control so she was fully at his mercy as her hand came up to clutch his wrist. When he retreated it was with a deep sigh as the call of his falcon rang throughout the room.

"The sun's going to rise soon." He explained.

"I should go." She nodded still clutching his wrist though neither of them made any attempts to move. He nodded but still didn't release her, his eyes moving from hers down to the necklace and back up.

"You are so beautiful." She smiled, biting her bottom lip as the compliment, his hand came up to tug her lip free, "Truly." He said before kissing her once more.

Before it could get too heated she pulled back, "I have to go," she repeated this time sliding from the bed.

Caspian followed her, his lean body moving fluidly like how a predator watches its prey as she moved into his study to gather her dress and effects from the night before. Still he followed after pulling in a pair of loose sleeping pants that left little to the imagination, for a moment she wished he'd stayed naked, those pants were so daring it just made her want to rip them off of him.

She stepped into her dress pulling it up around her hips, and up tucking her arms in. She reached around to begin retying the laces that he tugged loose the previous night but was stopped by a pair of warm hands on hers.

Without a word Caspian began tying up the laces, tugging her dress so that it fit her form. It wasn't such an innocent gesture though, because once he was finished he leaned down and kissed her shoulder.

"People will start to wonder where I am,' She said before he could speak, thankfully his mouth was rather occupied by the skin on her neck.

"I didn't say anything," he huffed in amusement.

She turned in his arms as the held onto her hips, locking eyes with him.

"I have to go."

"I wish you didn't."

"So do I," she agreed before stealing one more kiss, "Tonight?" She asked just to be sure.

"I'll be here."

You don't have to call me out on it, I wrote this chapter during a Bridgerton titktok phase and it shows.