TPATSD 2
Erica's funeral was a somber affair. The chapel was filled with their friends, her work acquaintances, his family and three mourners slipped in undetected at the very beginning of the service, lingering at the back of the chapel. June and Nora gave a touching eulogy, telling them of Erica and Alex's story. They chose not to mention the affair, because really, what good would have it done. And it was no one else's business, but his.
Nora had put together a small slideshow of photographs of Erica's life and their life together. Photos of Erica as a child, that they had found in a box in the spare room. Photos of her and Alex, blissfully happy and love. Photos of them in Texas, on holidays in LA and Washington DC, their graduation from UT Austin, their adventures across the pond to the UK. Photos of them living their best life in London, Alex's graduation from law school. Selfies of them holding a positive pregnancy test. Photos of her in all her pregnant glory at various stages. and they ended on the photo of Gabriella being held up by a nurse, out of the shot beside Erica and Alex in the operating theatre. Alex didn't want to share any of the other photos of Erica with Gabriella, they were his to cherish.
Alex told the room of the woman he loved, the woman who made him a partner and a father, before he recited her favourite piece of poetry, telling the congregation that it described his feelings for Erica perfectly.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not does not dishonour others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
and always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Alex then told the congregation that the song they had chosen for her was her favourite song. They played the song Angels, by Robbie Williams as she is wheeled from the chapel.
Alex stepped down from the podium and took his place at the front of her casket as a pallbearer, alongside his father, stepfather, Nora, June and his mom. The tears were streaming down his face, and he no longer cared. He wasn't just mourning the unfaithful woman he had lost. He was mourning the woman who was his daughter's mom. As they reached the double doors at the back of the room, no one except his mom noticed the three lone mourners, isolated from the main congregation.
Once everyone had left, Alex felt over emotional and overwrought. He wanted nothing more than to go home, shower and go to the hospital and see his baby girl. As he was about to leave, ushered away by his parents, his sister and sister-in-law, the three mourners approached them.
"Alex, darling. Come here." Pez said softly, hugging him tightly in a manly hug. "You did so well, that could not have been easy." He murmured and when he pulled back, he was surprised to recognise the future queen of England and her son, the spare prince. "Alex, allow me if you will allow me to introduce to you our future Queen, Princess Catherine and her son, the bane of my existence and best friend in the entire world, Prince Henry. They were both instrumental in helping us achieve the outcome you deserve."
Alex was stunned, he didn't know what to say. Ellen stepped forward, speaking for her son. When she had seen them sitting there, she had recognised them immediately and had wondered why they were here.
"Lovely to meet you both." Ellen answered in her soft, willowy voice. "This really is a surprise. Thank you for your help, truly. We appreciate it more than we can say."
"I apologise for stopping by unannounced, but when Percy mentioned he was stopping by, I wanted to pay my respects too." Catherine began. "Alex, I do hope that the woman kept her promise and dropped the claim. "
"She did." He managed to get out. He could not believe the kindness of Princess Catherine; she had only just begun to come out of her own grief after losing her own husband six years ago. Here she was, helping him out, from the kindness of her own heart.
"Good, it was the least I could do." She beamed at him. "We are very sorry for your loss, to all of you. Grief can make you do crazy things. Samantha will get the help that she needs, and you get to keep your little precious miracle."
"Thank you." Alex sobbed and before Ellen or Oscar could reach for their son, the future queen of England was wrapping him up in her own maternal embrace and comforting the bereaved man in her arms.
"There are no thanks necessary, darling." She whispered in his ear. "Grief is inevitable. I understand how you are feeling, and I know it might not seem like it now, but it will eventually get slightly better. You have to stay strong for your daughter. I regret every day that I missed, letting my children fend for themselves while I was lost in my grief. Time with your child is precious and it is time you can never get back."
"Thank you." Ellen whispered to Catherine, the tears in her eyes shining brightly. The tears had come on at Catherine's kind words to her son. The same words, that the five of them had been saying to Alex for the past week. But they seemed to carry more weight coming from the widow of the biggest movie star of a generation and a future queen.
"You're welcome." She smiled at him. Henry didn't say anything to Alex, nor was he introduced. He did touch Alex's shoulder in comfort, as his mother hugged the grief-stricken man one last time before they left him be.
June and Nora decided with their usual efficiency to divide and conquer. There was to be no official wake, but her workplace was hosting a small gathering at a pub, not too far from the hospital and they had all been invited to make an appearance. Erica's friends outside of work were going to have a drink at Erica's favourite pub and Alex was heading to the hospital. Nora and Leo would head over to the 'workplace wake' and Oscar and June would head over to the 'friends wake' before they met Alex in the hospital cafeteria for dinner. Ellen had some paperwork to take care of at the funeral home and would join Alex at the hospital later.
After dinner, Alex would take the three grandparents into the NICU, one by one, and officially introduce them to their granddaughter, in person.
Nora and Leo stayed at the pub with her work colleagues for about an hour, but when the talk turned to office politics, it seemed that all they were more interested in gossiping about how Alex still didn't know about her affair with their boss. That Alex was naive, but Erica hadn't done much in the office to cover her tracks. Nora and Leo must have blended in a little too well, because it seemed that her colleagues had forgotten that they were there too. It had been obvious to Nora and Leo that it was because Alex didn't come, they had not realised they were there.
June and Oscar had better luck, their friends told them the funniest stories of Alex and Erica. They had doted on how much Alex had loved and adored Erica. One woman had told June that she was jealous because Alex adored Erica in a way that she had never seen another man adore their partner, including her own husband. Who was sitting beside her and made his displeasure of her words known. They spoke Erica's love for Alex and how she always claimed to be the luckiest woman alive to have him.
One woman sat off to the side, a bitter look on her face and Oscar tried to engage her into their conversations, but she refused and left in disgust at Erica's friends praise for Alex.
At the hospital, Jo, Gabriella's other nurse was on duty and when she saw his distressed look on his face, she remembered that today had been Erica's funeral and thought the man deserved catch a break.
"You're just in time, Dad." She smiled at him, ushering him into the recliner she had dragged from the cubicle next to Gabriella's. "Your little lady is in desperate need of her Papa's love. Sit and take off that tee."
Alex was taken by surprise and took a moment to register what was happening before he reefed his tee over his head in a single move. He was going to get to hold his daughter for the very first time. Erica had held her a couple of times, but every time that Alex's turn had come up, something had come up. First, she had jaundice and had to go under the lights, then she had had a brady cardiac event and wasn't to be touched, then she'd had some breathing difficulties and they had to put her back on the CPAP. Now she was back off the CPAP and her heart rate was finally stable; she was ready for Alex to hold.
Jo placed Gabriella directly into Alex's arms, positioning her in a way that her tiny little ear was resting against Alex's heart. So that she could hear her father's heartbeat. She was covered with blankets and Jo positioned her wires and tubes in a way that Alex almost had fully unfettered access to his daughter. He could hear the whooshing of the air in the tube rush to his daughter's lungs, as Jo moved it over his shoulder and although the sound was irritating, he was not going to complain at all. He finally had his Gabriella in his arms.
"Phone?" She asked Alex, holding her hand out to take his cell, that he had taken out of his jeans pocket and sat on his lap. Unlocking and handing the phone over, Alex immediately smiled widely at Jo. Wider than he ever had before in his life. His love for his daughter was written all over his face. Jo snapped several photos and handed the phone back to the young man. "I'll be typing up my notes if you need me."
Alex sat in awe, smiling down at his little girl. The love he felt in his heart was threatening to explode right out of his chest. He spoke to her in low tones, keeping his voice a whisper. His words just between the two of them. He sang to her in Spanish, before telling her how much he loved and adored her. He made a promise to her, right then and there, that no matter what; it would always be the two of them against the world.
Reluctantly, two hours seemed to fly by, and he had to hand his Princessa back to Jo to resettle her in the isolette. Admittedly, for the last twenty minutes his phone had been constantly vibrating with text messages informing him that they were now at the hospital and were waiting on him, so they could order dinner.
Alex didn't reply to any of them. He didn't even share the photos that Jo had taken in their group chat. Their new one Nora had made last night. The one that pointedly did not include Erica, like the old one did. He kept the whole experience to himself. This was something he had wanted to share with them in person.
He didn't rush off from his daughter to go find his family, despite how eager he was to share his news with them. Instead, he stayed back, lingering on, as he did Gabriella's cares and helped Jo reposition her for her feed through the Oral Gastric Tube.
"Go get some dinner, Papa." Jo smiled at him encouragingly. "This is a marathon, not a sprint."
Rushing out of the NICU, Alex couldn't help the grin that graced his face. As pushed the button for the lift, he couldn't help but grin wider at himself when he caught his reflection in the mirrored interior. He was only going up one floor and probably should have taken the stairs, but he knew he was so high on life, he'd probably fall and break his own neck.
Coming out of the elevator and walking around the corner, he spied his family waiting patiently at the three tables they'd dragged together to form a table big enough for the six of them. Leo spotted him first, but Alex put his fingers to his lips and Alex continued to make his way over. They'd left an open seat for him between Ellen and Oscar. June and Nora spotted him next, and Alex repeated the gesture he'd given Leo. As he approached the table, he put his arms around both of his parents and pulled them towards him in a hug.
"Hi Ma, hi Pa." He greeted them and he was surprisingly upbeat.
"Well, that smile is certainly a surprise, Mijo." Oscar grinned, hugging his son tighter and urging him into the seat.
"I've got a surprise for you all." Alex grinned. It was an automatic reflex, and he couldn't control it. He opened his phone up to his favourite photo that Jo had taken and laid it flat on the Cafe table for them all to see. Him and his little girl having snuggles. Alex's eyes were closed, as were hers and it depicted them just taking one another in. It was a beautiful shot and Alex was thankful that Jo had taken it. "I got to hold my girl."
"Yeah, you did, Sugar." Ellen sobbed and pulled him in for a hug.
June and Nora snatched up the phone and flicked through the other photos in the new folder he had created. "Aww, look at our niece. Alejandro, she's beautiful, absolute perfection." Nora cooed at him and blew him a kiss.
"She is, Nor ... named for Junebug. Ma, I held her in my arms, and she looked up at me with her eyes wide open. And Pa, it was like she just knew who I was." Alex bragged excitedly and June promptly burst into tears of joy.
"Oh Alex," she sobbed. Alex quickly swapped spots with Leo so that he could hug his sister. "They're good tears, Alex. I never thought I'd ever see you smile again."
Guilt seeped back into Alex and Leo nudged his Stepson with his foot. "Quit feeling guilty for not feeling sad. Yes, you loved her, and she is Gabriella's mom. But she was unfaithful to you for the last four years, son. Today was always going to be shitty. But on the flip side, it's now the best day of your life."
"Maybe we should all order some food. Alex is probably starving." Nora suggested, knowing that it was a heartbeat away from descending into total chaos and he didn't want to get thrown out of the hospital because of his family.
After dinner, he took his father into the NICU first, repeating the process of scrubbing in and showing his father how to do the same. There was a limit of two visitors plus a parent, and Leo had told Alex that he should take Oscar in first. As they approached the isolette, Jo was adjusting some wires and looked up to see Alex and a man who was his spitting image, just two decades older. It didn't take much for her to guess that he was Alex's father.
"Alejandro, you're back. I guess this charming man is Abuelo to your beautiful Gabriella." Jo smiled at both men. "Just adjusting some of the leads. Feel free to step on up and take a gander Abuelo. Your Nieta is beautiful, just like her Papa."
Oscar took a tentative step forward and held his breath as he peered down into the Perspex isolette. "Ella es perfecta, mi hermosa Nieta. ¡Qué hermosa milagro nos has bendecido! Gracias, Mijo." (She is perfect, my beautiful granddaughter. What a beautiful miracle you have blessed us with! Thank you, son.) Oscar whispered in Spanish to his son. He couldn't take his eyes off the little miracle in the isolette. "She looks exactly like you, just a lot smaller."
Alex grinned at his dad. He had never seen his father cry before and here Alex was, a father himself now, and the mighty Senator Oscar Diaz, the patron saint of gender-neutral bathrooms in California was sobbing, looking down as he met his granddaughter for the very first time. "It's ok." Alex hugged his father. "it's very overwhelming in here. I cried too."
"Mijo, she's a fighter. I can't believe that something so small, is already so tough." Oscar whispered in awe. "Just look at her."
Alex didn't hang around with Oscar long. Visiting hours were about to end, and Alex wanted Leo and his mom to come and meet Gabriella as well. Coming out of the NICU, Ellen noticed Oscar's emotional state and stepped right up and hugged him tight to her chest. Alex, June and Nora exchanged a look with Leo. That was the first time they had seen Ellen show Oscar any kind of physical affection that wasn't staged for the media, in so long that even June couldn't remember when they had hugged last.
"Make sure you have the tissues, El." Oscar whispered, kissing her cheek in thanks for making him go first, as June stepped up and hugged their father next.
Ellen and Leo were thorough when they followed Alex's instructions to the letter. Ellen even seeing the sign about jewelry and removing her rings, her watch and her bracelets and tucking them into her purse for safe keeping. "You about done there, El?" Leo teased her gently at how long she was taking to scrub in.
"Not one germ is going near my granddaughter, do you hear me, Leo?" She retorted back and him and Alex felt his heart swell at her words, even though they hadn't been spoken in such a vehement tone.
"Ma, you're not even allowed to touch her and she's in an isolette." Alex replied. "But I appreciate the effort."
"Alex, if I do it like this the first time, I am always going to do it like this." Ellen explained as she let the alcohol dry on her skin. "So, when the time comes and we are allowed to touch her, my hands will be free of germs."
When Ellen and Leo got to see her up close, Ellen gasped audibly at her size. Ellen knew she had been born small and premature but was not expecting her to be so tiny and petite. Leo was stunned into silence and had no words. The man was not blessed with children of his own and was an only child, therefore had never been around babies before. With Gabriella being the first grandchild born and the first baby he had ever seen up close before, it was like he was stunned to spot, afraid to speak.
Ellen began firing rapid questions at Jo about Gabriella's health.
"How was her APGAR score?"
"What is in those IV bags?"
"What do those leads measure? And this one and that one?"
"Is that her feeding tube?"
"Are her stats normal?"
"Ma!" Alex protested and Jo took all her rapid-fire questions good humour.
"Relax Nana, Alex is all over it. Her Apgar score at one minute was two and at the five-minute interval it was six. Exactly where we expected her to be for her size age gestation." Jo reassured her. "He is an amazing Papa, already. Don't worry, Nana."
"Oh God, Alex is a father." Ellen sighed in shock. "Like an actual father and his daughter is here. I'm really a Nana."
"Now she gets it." Leo teased his wife, as she began sobbing. Sobbing tears of joy, pride, love and tears of sorrow, of worry and tears of a broken heart. Her heartbroken for Alex and the life he had lost with Erica.
Back at Alex's house, the only sounds that could be heard was a pot of coffee being brewed, the electric tea kettle boiling, the shuffling of feet and sighing of the furniture.
Oscar was the one putting around making tea and coffee, despite the late hour of the evening. Something to occupy his hands with. Leo had joined him and the two father figures to Alex sat in a strange sort of silence.
Ellen had been acting very strange since they left the hospital and neither man that had been married to her, didn't even know what was wrong with her. Neither man had an inkling.
Alex joined them, helping himself to the pot. Now changed into sweats, Alex asked if anyone wanted to tell him about the wakes. When no one came forward to offer information about what had happened, it seemed that it only like it had been a good thing he had gone to the hospital instead.
The truth of the matter was that when he had been reading the bible verse, he realised that the Erica, who had been his partner in everything, meant more to him than what he did to her. If she loved him as much as she had claimed to, then why the hell had she been having an affair with her boss for the last four years? He scrubbed at his face like a small, tired child. He let the hurt and frustration settle on his features and rest. He knew he needed to work through the anger of what Erica had done. As much as he had wanted to click his fingers and make it all better, he knew he couldn't. Heartbreak and pain didn't work that way.
"You ok there, Alejandro?" Nora asked softly, sidling up beside him on the sofa. His feet were resting on the ottoman in front of him and he had been deliberately not thinking about her.
"Just mulling some things over." Alex muttered in reply to Nora, trying to reassure her that he was ok.
He has been waiting for the suggestion to come out of someone's mouth that he moves back to Texas now. He has been waiting for it since his parent's arrived, actually. Sadly, sighing to himself, he composed himself. if anyone was going to ask that of him, he knew it would be his mother. She would make it sound like a brilliant idea and he knew there would be inevitable arguments when he refused. He liked London, he had grown accustomed to it. Sure, Austin was home, and it always would be. But London was his home too. He had a great job; he loved his house, and he even had a small group of friends that were family in every sense of the word.
"How about a plan, Alex?" His mother asked from where she sat on Leo's lap across the room. Proving once again that any and every conversation he has ever had with Nora, is one hundred percent overheard by his mom, every damn time. "Will you be coming home to Texas, or staying in London? With a baby, you're going to need all of the help you can get. All of us live in the states. We can't be flying over here all the time."
"Ma, leave him be." June chastised their mom. June was angry that Ellen had chosen today of all days to ask that question. Sure, she loved her little brother and missed him crazily. She worried about him living so far away from everyone. But he had a life over here and even she would begrudgingly admit that Alex was thriving over here. "Let him focus on Gabriella and her needs. Obviously, her medical team is here, so here is where he needs to be."
"Ma, I know you want us closer to you. But London is our home, we have a life here." Alex told her gently, but he was fairly certain she wasn't listening to him. "Gabriella and I aren't planning to leave London right now. Yes, I miss Texas. This is where we live, London is our home. This is where Erica and I chose to start our family."
Chose to start a family was a bold choice of words on Alex's part. Erica had been the one to mention the subject of having a baby, back when Alex had just finished his first year of law school in London. She had come out and asked him directly, he had smiled at her and told her he'd think about it. Ultimately, after mentally going back and forth, Alex had told her he wasn't ready.
But that hadn't deterred her, she'd asked again six months later, on their anniversary. Both of them tipsy on red wine and good food, her diaphragm in her hand, ready to insert it before they headed to bed. Alex had pretended he was going to be sick and spent the night curled up on the side of their bed, claiming the wine must have been bad.
The third time, Alex had just finished his second year of law school, and they were heading to Spain for their summer vacation. They were packing and it was the day before they were due to leave, when Erica, fed up with hearing the same answer every time she asked, demanded to know when they would have children. Feeling guilty, Alex told her he wanted to be out of school first. He wanted to have finished with school. That he appreciated that she was ready to start a family with him, he needed to be ready to.
Erica had let the subject drop; they didn't talk about it again. Not when he graduated the following year and not when he started his job at the big corporate law firm he had been recruited to. Not when Alex burnt out after six months and begun hunting for another job. When he started at his current firm, Erica had taken him out to dinner to celebrate his new job.
Alex had never ever had unprotected sex before in his life, thanks to Ellen's numerous Power Point presentations. So, on the night they'd gone to dinner to celebrate his new job and the condom broke. That broken condom had sealed Alex's fate. Three weeks later, Erica came home tired from work and confessed to Alex she thought she might be pregnant.
Right on the money, it turned out she was and Nora, in her caring roundabout way had reacted to the news with a resounding "Ninety-three percent chance Erica got sick of you saying no and deliberately got pregnant."
Her and Alex didn't speak for a week, until June forced Nora to apologise.
Erica encouraged Alex to accept her apology and eventually Alex did.
When Erica was four months pregnant, they had an awful argument over Eria's job. The doctor had been telling her she needed to slow down and take things easier. That her blood pressure was unusually high, and she was at risk of developing pre-eclampsia. But Ercia was determined to continue on as if nothing was wrong.
When Alex begged her to think of their unborn baby's health, she'd look at him, in a shrew-like manner. In that moment, Nora's words came back to him, and he could see it, as clear as the blue sky on a sunshining day. She got pregnant on purpose, knowing Alex wasn't ready to start a family. Alex had exploded in anger and Erica left on her business trip without so much as a backwards glance.
Two days later, he had called Nora and apologised, telling her that she was right and making her promise to not tell June. A day after he called Nora, Erica came home. It was tense and it awkward. But it didn't stop Alex accompanying her to her next scheduled appointment. The appointment where she was ordered on to bed rest and the realities of her condition showed their face.