TPATSD 3
Eventually the time came, and Alex reluctantly said goodbye to his mom and his stepfather, Leo. His father had chosen to stay another day or two and June and Nora were staying for another week. "Promise me you will call me if you need me?" Ellen begged him, kissing her son goodbye. Alex and Oscar were heading into the hospital, while June and Nora were going to drive their mom and Leo to Heathrow in his car.
"Of course, Ma." Alex sighed, resisting the strong urge to roll his eyes at his mom. "Of course."
"We'll talk to you soon." Leo said, clapping Alex on the shoulder, before pulling his stepson in to a hug.
Just like that, Ellen and Leo departed London for Heathrow airport and were bound back to the United States, and back home to Austin, Texas.
Oscar and Alex didn't say much on the ride over to the hospital from Alex's home. There was nothing that needed to be said. In the days that had followed the big argument and his mom trying to make him return to the US, Oscar had been silent in his steadfast support of Alex. Letting Alex live his own life. Where at one time, Oscar would have been vocal on it, now he was silent. Alex was grieving. He was under a lot of pressure, and he was stressed Oscar could see that most days, his son was struggling to hold it together. He definitely didn't want to add fuel to the fire and argue with his ex-wife. All that would have done was fire Ellen up further and upset Alex.
At the hospital, Oscar settled into the new routine quickly. he would scrub into the NICU with Alex and say good morning to his granddaughter, half listen in while Alex received the latest updates. Alex would strip his shirt off and they'd lay Gabriella out on him for some kangaroo care time. Oscar and Alex were learning about it together, so that he could work out how best to support his son and granddaughter going forward.
'Kangaroo care is when you hold your baby to your bare chest, so your baby has direct skin-to-skin contact with you. The baby is held upright with their head to one side between the mother's breasts or against the partner's chest. One hand should support the baby's head and the other over their bottom. Often, a blanket is placed over the top of the baby to help keep them warm. It has a range of benefits and can: regulates a baby's heartbeat and breathing increases a baby's weight gain and decreases the risk of mortality — this is especially important for premature babies improve oxygen saturation levels help to maintain body temperature supports longer periods of quiet, calm sleep help a baby access their mother's breasts so breastfeeding is easier decrease a baby's perception of pain and reduce stress and crying — kangaroo care before heel prick blood collections and injections has been shown to reduce pain and distress for a baby
Kangaroo care provides parents with many benefits including boosting the bonding process and emotional attachment building confidence in handling their baby supporting early breastfeeding and milk production helping to support the baby's brain development. For Kangaroo care top work best, pick a time when you aren't in a rush and can focus on the joy of holding your baby. Wear a shirt which easily opens down the front or wear a front-opening hospital gown. Have a pillow or two for support - and make sure you have a blanket to place over your baby. Have tape handy to secure any tubing connected to your baby. Avoid using any strong perfumes, body wash or powders. It's important that your baby can smell you. Sit in a comfortable chair with arm rests and a high, supportive back. Ask for a footrest if you want one. Go to the toilet beforehand, have a drink beside you and focus on your own comfort as well. Speak gently to your baby as they're transferred from their cot and tell them what's happening. Be sensitive to your baby's cues or signals - this will help you understand their feelings. Most fathers hear about Kangaroo care and their first instinct is to run out and shave or wax their chest of all their hair. But they shouldn't. The natural body hair on the chest encourages the baby to flex their little fingers, promoting gross and fine motor skills.'
"No soft touches when you do touch her, firm strokes. Light, soft touches tickle them and can disrupt their cardiac rhythm. I strongly encourage talking to her, introduce yourself using what she will be calling you, for example Papi. Read her books, tell her stories. It helps her learn your voice and down the track, it helps with language and speech development." Maggie reminded Alex, as he got himself set up on the recliner, by his daughter's isolette. The steady reminder given every day, like gospel.
Oscar had a search engine open on his laptop screen in front of him, sitting in the waiting room. It'd been too long since he'd researched anything non work related. Here he was, mid-morning, laptop open, in the middle of the working day, researching 'developmental problems of premature babies' and he was overwhelmed with what he'd found. It seemed everything could be a problem. Breathing issues, lung issues, brain issues, learning issues, language delays, physical milestone delays, brain bleeds, cardiac issues, possible lifelong disability and the list was endless. So far all he'd learnt was no two preterm babies were the same. He wiped at his eyes furiously. Hot tears spilled further. His heart broke for what Alex and Gabriella were facing.
In the waiting room, Oscar closed up his laptop and left word with the receptionist on the desk, telling her if Alex was looking for him, he would be back soon. Packing up his laptop, and stowing it in his shoulder bag, he headed out of the NICU and down one level, into the main lobby of the hospital. Finding the directory, on the wall near the security desk, Oscar looked at the map and headed back to the bank of elevators in search of his destination.
Pressing the button for the fourth floor, Oscar stepped into the elevator. When he reached the fourth floor, he took a left and found himself in front of the multi-denominational chapel. Stepping inside, he could see it was simply a room with pews and an altar. Various posters promoting different religions and beliefs lined the walls and there were several posters with printed words of healing affirmations printed on them. On the right-hand corner of the altar was a crucifix, Oscar took a seat in the pew directly opposite and bowed his head. It had been a long time since he had set foot inside a church, for the sole purpose of prayer. But here he was.
"Lord, I lift up to you our precious Gabriella, who is sick. I pray that you would bring her healing and comfort. May she feel your presence with them, and may they be strengthened by your love. I pray that you will grant them peace and rest, and that they will be restored to full health.
Almighty God, be with Gabriella as we lift her to You. I ask for grace, love, healing, and strength. I ask that you lead the hands that are providing the care. Take this baby's body and fill it with miraculous light. Bring a host of angels down to this darling and cover the baby in Your mighty healing power. Please heal our little Gabriella and let this miracle become a testimony that will bring others to You.
I thank you for these fantastic caregivers that are working round-the-clock to ensure our Gabriella is safe and healthy. Thank you for the technology that you have granted us to help secure the lives of babies that are born prematurely. I also want to thank you for giving us all the strength to fight in faith and not out of fear. Lord, even with the caregivers doing exceptional work, we know it is your mighty hand that will help our Gabriella to mature and be healthy. Uphold our Gabriella with your righteous right hand and fight on our behalf. Let what the enemy intended for bad be our testimony and let your name be glorified through this child.
As she fights for her life in the isolette, fill her with strength in her inner being that she may mature fully. Lord fill nurses and doctors that are taking care of her with the strength to take good care of our baby and all other preemies. I pray for the parents that are going through the same ordeal all over the world, as well as I pray for my dear son, Alex. Father, give him the divine strength to see this through. Help him to accept what has happened and to continue fighting for his daughter through strength and prayer. Father, help him find his way through his grief and the help him move on from the loss of his love, Erica. Fill him with the hope that one day he may love again, and that he and Gabriella will be happy, safe and loved.
Lord, I pray for all those who are sick and hospitalized. I ask that you bring them healing and comfort. May they feel your presence with them, and may they be strengthened by your love. We pray that you will grant them peace and rest, and that they will be restored to full health. In Jesus' name, I believe and pray, Amen."
Alex had been reclined back in the chair for almost two hours already, his little miracle laying prone on his chest, her ear to his heart. She was softly sleeping, as Alex murmured words of love to his daughter. In English, in Spanish and in 'Spanglish', it didn't matter, as long as he kept talking. Her nurse Maggie was dutifully pottering nearby, checking stats and writing nursing notes.
She had been off on her morning tea break, and Alex had reassured her he was ok with her, to go and get her caffeine. Upon her return she smiled at him and crouched down beside him. "How's everything going here?" She whispered, crouching down to his eye level.
"Perfect." Alex grinned at her. His voice was hoarse from his non-stop talking, but he didn't complain. He would never complain about that.
"Just a heads up." She whispered, "I heard that there's a royal visit happening today and the royal in question has specifically asked if you and Gabriella were available to visit with. Is that something you'd be interested in doing. You won't have to do anything; they will come to you and you have every right to say no."
Alex rose his eyebrows in surprise. If a royal was asking to visit him and his daughter, it must be Princess Catherine. She had expressed a desire to meet their daughter at Erica's funeral. "It's ok." Alex answered, keeping his voice low.
"I'll leave you to it." She replied, patting the new father on the shoulder as she left him be, with his daughter.
Alex was feeling tired, more tired than he could ever remember being in law school. He could not believe that, even with a life of insomnia, sitting around doing very little was so exhausting. Vowing to not fall asleep, only made his eyelids feel heavier.
A gentle hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. His slumber actually, he realised with a start, as he opened his eyes. He resisted the urge to move, remembering at the last moment that Gabriella was still on his bare chest, covered in a blanket. "Alex?" the soft-spoken woman's voice penetrated his head.
Looking up, Alex gave a small smile. "Your Royal Highness." He greeted Princess Catherine. Noticing that Prince Henry was accompanying her, he nodded to the man. Alex had always thought that Prince Henry was particularly handsome. Today, Henry was dressed down, in navy trousers, a pale blue Burberry shirt in a loose fit with the sleeves rolled up and a wide smile. He looked like he was genuinely happy to be here and that surprised Alex.
"Alex, please call me Catherine." She reminded him with a warm smile. She had already told him once before to call her Catherine, but both of his parents were high in the political landscape, back in the US. He had been brought up with nothing but protocols and to conduct himself in the manner of becoming, for his whole childhood. He wasn't quite sure how to turn it off. It was part of the reason he wasn't ready to return to the US.
"Apologies." Alex whispered. The sounds of grunting and squirming reminded him once more that Gabriella was on his chest. "Again, apologies for not covering up. Kangaroo care with Gabriella here."
"So, this is your little Gabriella." Catherine cooed, taking a step closer to Alex in order to get a better look at the neonate on the American's chest. "She is beautiful Alex. Look Henry, isn't this just the tiniest baby you ever did see."
Henry stepped closer, taking his mother's spot, to get a better look at her. Up close, he could see the majority of Alex's sculpted naked torso. A small trail of hair, more like peach fuzz covered his upper chest, before disappearing under the baby and blanket and re-emerging across his lower abs and disappearing once more beneath his khakis. "She is very beautiful." He smiled down at Alex, as he looked over at her. "She looks so small and so much like you."
"Thanks." Alex whispered, stroking his daughter's back as she continued her grunting. "It's ok, Mija. Papi's here." He muttered just for her ears, but Henry heard it, nonetheless.
"I have never seen a baby so small before." Henry whispered, not really registering the words that had escaped his mouth.
Alex nodded at Henry towards the pink alcohol rub attached to the end of her isolette. When he had followed Alex's instructions and returned to his side, Alex looked up at the young prince and softly said. "Pull the blanket back slightly." As Henry did, Alex took the prince's hand in his and showed him how to stroke Gabriella in a way that wasn't ticklish to her and was firm enough to comfort her. "Now you've touched a baby that small."
Catherine was watching her son carefully with Alex and his daughter. The way that Alex had let her son comfort his daughter had surprised the future queen, but she didn't say anything. She was happy to simply watch and observe them. The nurse found a chair for Henry to sit on as he moved in closer to get a better look at the baby as Alex gently repositioned his daughter on his chest. Henry seemed to be in some kind of awe with the little baby in front of him. That surprised his mother because Henry was her baby, and he was an uncle to Philip's child. But he had never shown much interest in babies before. The emotions that were written across Henry's face made her wonder what was going on inside her son's head.
She looked over, catching Shaan's eye and Shaan seemed to be just as perplexed, as to what was going on inside his charge's head.
"She is a little miracle, Alex. Truly." He told Alex, as he watched her rut and wriggle around on Alex's chest. Her little fingers managed to find Alex's pinky and Henry though his heart might beat out of his chest at the mere sight alone. "Seeing her ... I cannot imagine the feelings you must be feeling."
"It's surreal." Alex confessed to him. "She's part Erica and part me, but right before my eyes she is changing, every minute of every day. I cannot get enough of her."
Henry smiled at him, as did Catherine. "I am going to move on and keep visiting with the other parents and babies. It was lovely to see you again Alex and to meet your precious little bundle. Take care."
"Thank you, Catherine." Alex replied.
Henry made a motion to stand as well, his job for today was escorting his mother. He could not leave her to fend for herself. "Oh, I'll just...-"
"Nonsense, Darling." Catherine hushed him, urging him to take his seat once more. "Stay here and talk to Alex, I can visit patient families by myself. I have been doing this since before you were even a twinkle in your father's eye."
Shaan gave Henry a small, encouraging nod and followed Catherine, and her own equerry Rose, on to the next section in the NICU, leaving the two men alone with little Gabriella.
"I must apologise," Henry begun, as soon as it was just the three of them, and Gabriella's nurse, Maggie. "At the funeral, I did not mean to come off as rude and not speak to you. I was rather consumed in my head, feeling your grief at the loss of your wife."
"Fiancée," Alex corrected him, gently. "It is ok, I wasn't really in the headspace to have a conversation with anyone. Least of all, royalty. But please thank Pez for me again, his help was invaluable."
"Grief is funny like that." Henry admitted. " 'The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you'll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.' At least that is in my experience."
"Your father?" Alex asked softly, seeing the raw feeling of grief in the prince's eyes.
Everyone around the world, who was ever a James Bond fan remembers where they were when the news broke that the beloved James Bond actor, the Royal husband to their future Queen, Arthur Fox had died. Personally, Alex was sitting in the back of a lecture on family law. The Professor was projecting his laptop screen to the Amphitheatre screen when the breaking news flashed across it for the whole room to see.
"Some days are better than others, but it always hurts." Henry admitted to him. "I don't sleep too well, since."
"I don't think I have ever slept well in my life." Alex admitted with a strait-laced look on his face. "It's worse now I don't have Erica, I cannot even begin to imagine what it will be like when this little one finally comes home."
"Will you return to the US, to be near your family?" Henry asked softly, stroking Gabriella's back once more.
"No. As much as I love my family and miss them. This is where we wanted to raise our child. Plus, we have our home, and my job is here."
"Sorry for the intrusion, Alex, Your Royal highness." Maggie said softly, coming over to them. "But it is time for Miss Gabriella to have some food. I thought we might try to get her suck and swallow reflex working. What do you think Papi? Ready to give your daughter a bottle?"
"He... Yeah." Alex laughed, as did Henry, as he censored himself. He really didn't want to swear in front of Gabriella. Erica had been on his case constantly since she fell pregnant about his swearing.
Maggie handed him the bottle, and helped Alex reposition his daughter in his arms. "Just like that Alex, tilt her bottle up, so there is no air in the teat."
Alex felt overwhelmed, as he watched his daughter attempt a suckle, before grasping the concept of sucking and swallowing. He could feel tears in his eyes and his heart was full of pride at his little girl's accomplishment. He was proud of her. He felt Henry shift and assumed that the prince had left them to it, only then, when he looked up, did he realise that Henry had pulled his phone out and snapped a picture of them.
"This is amazing, Alex." Henry smiled. His smile was wide and genuine, not like the one he had seen grace the prince's face when in front of the cameras over the years. Henry looked sheepish, being caught by Alex sneaking a photo. "Sorry, I wanted to capture the moment for you. Give me your number and I shall send them to you. The moment seemed too important not to capture."
"Thank you." Alex said softly, before giving Gabriella all of his undivided attention again.
Reluctantly, Catherine, Shaan and Rose returned, and Henry bid Alex a farewell. It was time for him to leave and he had to admit that despite his reluctance to escort his mother today, he'd had a wonderful time.
Especially chatting to Alex. It wasn't until he was back in the car with his mother, on the way to Kensington Palace, did he realise that he had forgotten to get Alex's details to send him the photos he had taken.
One morning, the following week, Alex had woken up hard, rock hard, from a dream that had been so lifelike, he had to check that he hadn't climaxed in his sleep. It wasn't everyday he woke up from such a vivid dream of the prince of England giving you oral. Pulling back the blankets, and pulling his wet shorts back, he released that he had not climaxed, however, he was soaked from having leaked pre-come everywhere.
It had been a long time since he had woken like this. He had still lived in Texas then. It had been before he had met Erica. He was probably only thirteen or fourteen and hadn't even discovered he was bisexual yet. He and Nora hadn't met either. He had very little experience with anyone, and he only experience he did have was Alex had kissed and made out with Sarah Wilcox, in his tree house. She was the blonde daughter of the family that lived across the street from his father in California and they both had never kissed anyone and decided they should do one another a favour, just to get their first kiss over and done with.
"Shit!" He cursed to himself in a whisper, as he slipped into the ensuite attached to his bedroom. Brushing his teeth and trying not to think of anything sexual, had not willed his erection away. Sighing, he decided to forgo his usual run, in favour of a cold shower. That hadn't even helped either. Scrubbing his body clean, he flicked the mixer tap to hot and furiously began stroking himself at a fast pace. As he fondled himself, he imagined the prince's manly fingers, cupping his balls and massaging them in his hands, before swallowing him whole.
When he climaxed, it was hard and all over the glass screen of his shower wall. Alex couldn't believe he had come that hard. It had been a very long time since he had been that keyed up over someone and even longer since he had been that keyed up over a man. Thinking back, it was probably a good seven years since he had gotten worked up like that over a man. The man in question had been none other than his father's friend Rafael Luna.
Rafael Luna had been the man that had caused Alex's bisexual awakening. Sure, he and Liam had made out and jerked each other off, while watching porn, but Alex had still maintained he was straight. He had still maintained he was straight when he dated Nora and he continued to maintain he was straight after he had met Rafael Luna. It wasn't until Rafael Luna came back to their shared hotel room, from his early morning run on day twenty-three of his campaign tour, and Alex saw Rafael take his shirt off and proceed to do his warm down push-ups, before hitting the showers that his bisexuality hit him in full force.
With his unexpected morning wood taken care of, Alex dressed and joined his family for breakfast. His father had gone home last night, unable to stay away from his job any longer and June and Nora were packing to leave, as they were due to fly home the following day. Soon it would be just him again. As he took the offered cup from his sister, he was surprised to hear his phone beep with an incoming text message.
It was only 7am in London and 1am in Texas, his mom and Leo would be sleeping. In California, it was still 11pm the night before and Oscar had already texted that he was safely at home. Snagging his phone out of the front of his pocket, he was surprised when he didn't recognise the number.
"They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps." – Unknown
Underneath the beautiful quote that had made Alex's eyes tear up was the photos that Henry took of them yesterday. Alex smiled widely and marveled at the photos. The look of concentration on his face and the look of wonder in his eyes. June and Nora could see the look on his face and leaned over to take a look.
They didn't need to say anything, they just hugged Alex harder. The second chime made him pull out of their embrace and refill his coffee mug.
It's Henry, by the way. I hope it's ok, I got your number from Pez.
The incoming call surprised him and as he glanced at the caller ID, his blood ran cold. The NICU. Answering on autopilot, he listened as Jo, Gabriella's night shift nurse explained that she'd a bradycardic episode, where her heart rate had slowed down. "We gave her one minute of oxygen stimulations, at one-minute intervals and she is holding her own now." Jo explained.
Alex felt himself being urged to sit on the chair that was being pushed into his knees from behind. He felt like his world was darkening. It was caving inside, and he didn't know how to find the light. "Is she...ok?"
"She is doing exceptionally better now." Jo reassured him. "You'll see for yourself today, when you arrive. As a result of the bradycardic episode, we are going to up the oxygen in her air mix and we will try and wean her back again in a couple of days."
"Thank-you." Alex whispered, his whole body feeling numb. "I will be there soon."