The Houses Competition, Round 1
House: Ravenclaw
Class: Divination
Category: Standard
Prompts Chosen: [Restriction] Only Takes Place in One Location (Magic Kingdom); [Quote] "Let's learn!"
Word Count: 2956
Warnings/Trigger Warnings: AU muggle studies requirement; canon discussions of war; canon descriptions of the Haunted Mansion
Author's Note: *Cracks knuckles* Finally, I get to put all of my useless Disney knowledge to use. Okay, not all of it, but some of it. I digress. This is an AU where all Hogwarts students are required to take Muggle Studies. Because I grew up with Disney, there are mentions of multiple generations of Haunted Mansion lore mashed into one. Not everything is accurate to the time frame (1995). Also, the epitaph is verbatim from Disney, I did not make it up.
Beta: Hadrian Peverell and Queen Nitiqret. Thanks again, your feedback made my day. (I usually forget this, but I remembered this time!)
HHHHH
"Harry, mate, did you have to buy a pair of ears the minute we walked through the gate?" Ron asked incredulously as Harry wadded up the plastic shopping bag and shoved it in his pocket.
Harry was proudly wearing a pair of simple black Mickey Mouse ears on his head, without a single care what any of his classmates thought about them.
"I think they're cool. Besides, it's not every day we get to go to Disneyland."
Hermione interrupted the conversation. "Actually, we're in Disney World. Disneyland was the original park, but that's not the one we're at."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Does it really matter if it's a land or a world? We're in a Muggle theme park. And Harry looks ridiculous."
"At least Harry is trying to blend in," Hermione quipped back. "Can't say the same for you."
Ron was wearing Gryffindor red slacks and a Quidditch jersey. The slacks could be passed off as normal clothing, but the Quidditch attire was a lot harder to explain away.
"Why did we come all the way to Florida?" Harry interrupted, before the discussion could turn into an argument.
"Oh, easy," Ron surprisingly answered. "Florida is known for being weird. It'll be easier for us to blend in."
"For example," Hermione cut in, "if people see Ron wearing a Chudley Cannons jersey, they're more likely to pass him off as a member of some cult or weird club."
"Let's learn!" Professor Burbage suddenly called out over the heads of the gathered Hogwarts fifth years, to Harry's relief.
The students gathered closer, but rumbles of chatter still carried throughout the group of students, including Ron and Hermione's whispered bickering.
"I'll try that again. Let's learn!" This time, everybody went quiet.
"This is the Magic Kingdom. Because of its size, this is the only park we will be in today. Does anyone have any guesses why we're starting in this park?"
A few hands raised. "How about you, Mr. Malfoy? You're not paying attention. Why do you think we're starting in the Magic Kingdom?"
The blond rolled his eyes before answering, "So we can all laugh at how Muggles perceive magic?"
"Incorrect. And five points from Slytherin for your snark. Anyone else?"
"It's the original design envisioned by Walt Disney," Hermione supplied without raising a hand.
Professor Burbage acknowledged her with a hand. "Correct! This park, as well as Disneyland are recognizable by an animated Princess's castle in the center, with spokes going out in various directions for each other land. And it is indeed the original design.
"The castle in this park is the Cinderella Castle. We talked about the story of Cinderella and its motifs not too long ago, but we won't go into that too much today. I'm pointing it out though because this will be our meeting point during the day. We're going to allow you to explore on your own as long as everyone is willing to follow the rules.
"One, stay with a classmate at all times. Two, make sure you have your communication token with you; that is how you will be able to contact Professor Snape and me. Three, when we gave you your token, we also handed you a park map and a list of check in times. Everyone must report back to the castle at the designated times, or you will lose your privilege to travel without a chaperone. Do I make myself clear?"
Everyone murmured their agreement. "If you need anything, use your token."
"But try not to need anything," Snape said with a glare. "And I assure you, you do not want me to chaperone you through this god-forsaken park, so be on your best behavior."
"Go, have fun. Let's learn!"
HHHHH
While the rest of their classmates scattered, Hermione immediately pulled out the map. "We came in from Main Street USA," Hermione explained, gesturing down the busy street behind them. "If we make a direct right, we'll enter Tomorrowland or direct left to get to Adventureland. Cutting through the castle will get us to Fantasy Land."
"Where are the rides?" Harry asked. "That's what I'm here for."
"It looks like there is at least one ride in every area except Main Street. Or attractions, I guess they call them."
Ron was looking over Hermione's shoulder, finally taking a bit of interest in helping to plan out their day.
"A haunted mansion? Let's check that out!" He exclaimed.
"That's in Liberty Square. So, we should be able to get there if we cut through the castle and make a left."
"Then let's get going and stop talking about it!" Ron exclaimed.
A voice interrupted them as Hermione put her map back in her purse. "Do you mind if I join you?" It was Neville. "I don't think Dean and Seamus were entirely focused on…um…exploring the park."
"Of course, Neville," Hermione agreed. "Everything is better in pairs anyway."
Following Hermione's well-informed lead and the brightly colored signs, the four of them quickly found themselves in Liberty Square, the exteriors of the buildings seemingly morphing into that of another time and place.
"That must be it." Harry was pointing over the heads of the crowds in front of them at a large, dark and looming mansion-like structure.
"So, we'll follow this weird brown path?" Ron suggested, sounding unsure.
"At least as far as it'll take us," Hermione agreed.
They followed the winding path, past a crowd of visitors taking photos on a tall platform.
"Why are people sticking their heads and arms in those holes up there, do you think?" Neville asked, watching the people on the platform.
Hermione looked up to see what Neville was looking at. "It's a pillory. A fake one, given the size of the holes and it looks like people are just taking pictures with it. But it's a very old form of punishment for minor crimes."
"Why would the Muggles do that?"
Hermione shrugged. "Mostly humiliation, I guess. It's seriously outdated. I don't really know why they would have something like that in a theme park."
They walked through a tall wrought iron gate labeled The Haunted Mansion and followed the path until they were behind the line of people. "A carriage pulled by Thestrals?" Ron asked, pointing out one of the decorative props in the garden. A horse's bridle floated in midair, as if attached to an invisible occupant, and was hooked up to a large black vehicle.
"Well for one, Thestrals aren't invisible, if you're traumatized enough. Second, Thestrals don't exist in the Muggle world. It's probably just a ghost horse, mate. And that's not just a carriage, it's a hearse," Harry answered.
"A hearse?" Neville asked.
"You don't have anything like that in the," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "Wizarding world?" He adjusted his volume again. "It's a vehicle that carries caskets with dead bodies to their final resting place."
"That's kind of morbid for a family park, don't you think?" Ron asked, his eyes wide.
"It's called the Haunted Mansion, Weasley, what did you expect? Butterflies?"
Malfoy and his newest cronies, Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zabini (Crabbe and Goyle were banned from the trip) had pushed their way through the line to join them.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione groaned, looking up from a book.
"I need to pass this stupid class so my school records aren't tarnished. You know, let's learn, and all that. And who better to spend my time with than the Mudblood and the Muggle-raised orphan?" He answered with a smirk.
"Take that back!" Ron hissed, habitually reaching for his wand that was not there since every student had been forced to leave their wands with the professors for the day.
"No, let him stay," Hermione declared with a smirk of her own. "I was just about to share the background of this section of the park." She grimaced. "And what the brown path is. Let's learn!"
"Does it say what the pillowy is for?" Neville asked, much more timid now that they had been joined by three Slytherins.
"Mm hmm. Liberty Square, which is where we are now, is designed to look like the city center of colonial America. The buildings are stylized in the 1800s architecture. Pillories were commonly found in the squares of colonial America so that anyone passing through could see criminals doing their time. The brown path," she paused, sweeping her gaze across all the faces of her group, "is supposed to be a river. The 'water' is brown, because plumbing didn't exist then, so human excrement would have ended up in the water source."
Malfoy made a face. "Muggles are disgusting."
"What does colonial mean?" Ron asked, as they moved forward with the queue ahead of them.
"You're kidding, right?" Hermione deadpanned.
Neville and Ron both shook their heads. The Slytherins shrugged.
"Do wizards and witches teach their children anything?" She asked with exasperation. "I'm honestly surprised you lot even know how to read."
She shook her head as she shoved her book back into her bag. "Colonialism is when one group of people leaves their existing home in search of a new life. They build colonies, or villages in otherwise occupied lands. The United States exists today as it is because of thousands of Europeans leaving their home country. Including Great Britain."
"And why would I need to know that?" Pansy demanded.
"Because Europeans took over the land here. Had the US not been colonized..."
"All the people here wouldn't be white," Harry concluded. "This park might not even exist."
Hermione gestured to him with a hand. "That."
The line continued to move forward, and the conversation dropped. "Disney puts a lot of thought into their attractions," Harry noted.
"Do they, Potter? All I see is a line of people," Zabini snarked.
"There's a hearse at the entry, and what we're walking through now seems to be the gardens of the mansion. There's the house, obviously, but the gate we walked through is intended to be the entrance to the property."
"That's how my family's Manor is designed," Malfoy surprisingly agreed. "The property is much larger than just the house."
"There's also something to do with a bride. Why else would there be a wedding ring embedded in the pavement?" He pointed out the ring in question and sure enough, there it was, clearly there intentionally.
"Bloody hell!" Ron screamed. "That tombstone. It moved!"
Harry leant over the railing separating the queue from the gardens where the tombstones were displayed. "Dear sweet, Leota, beloved by all. In regions beyond now, but having a ball," he read from the stone in question.
"Muggles really write epitaphs that way?" Draco asked.
Hermione shook her head. "No, it's just silly. They're fictional, usually giving a hint to how the character died. They're popular around Halloween. Does Malfoy Manor have a cemetery?"
"Of course. The ancestors have to stay in the family somehow," Malfoy answered with a roll of his eyes.
He cursed then, earning him glares from a few adults with children behind them. "Weasley's right. Leota's eyes just opened."
Everyone watched as the statue's eyes shifted. "How is it doing that?"
Hermione laughed, enjoying the discomfort of those who had no experience in the Muggle world. "Well, it's not magic."
"Maybe the ring we saw is Leota's," Harry suggested. "Her tombstone is the only one this ornate, that must mean something."
Finally, they were greeted with a blast of cool air, and a ride attendant dressed as a maid ushered them through the doors, directing everyone to move into "the dead center of the room."
The pre-show played out without much fanfare, the group turning to view all of the paintings in the room as they revealed their macabre hidden details.
Suddenly, the room went black, and a light illuminated a skeleton hanging from the ceiling. "This ride is appropriate for children?" Malfoy asked as the lights came back on.
"What's the matter, Malfoy? Bothered by death?" Harry chided.
"I suppose you aren't?"
Harry shrugged. "Both my parents are dead. And last year I watched your Master-to-Be murder someone. So, I guess you could say I'm getting used to it."
The silence hung over the group as they shuffled through the next door into a new line.
"How many?" A man in a servant's costume asked, approaching them from a moving platform.
"Uh, seven," Hermione answered, looking reluctantly at the three Slytherins.
"Alright," He pointed to the ride vehicle he was standing next to. "I'll have two, two, and three. Watch your step as you enter your doom buggies, as they don't stop moving." Harry and Ron took the first one, with Hermione, Neville, and for whatever reason, Draco in the second, and Pansy and Blaise taking up the third.
Through most of the ride, Harry tried to simply observe, looking for clues to fit his theory. But that was difficult to do when he had to answer one of Ron's questions every five seconds.
Most of the questions were "but how are they doing that?"
To which Harry could truthfully answer, "I'm not sure. But it's definitely not magic."
"What is the head in the ball? What is she doing?" Ron asked, as they rode sideways through a room filled with floating instruments and objects. The head of a female was in a crystal ball, chanting, in the center of the room, which they were now moving around.
"Dunno who she is. But maybe she's performing a séance? It's something some Muggles do to try to speak with the dead."
The ride continued through, and Harry enjoyed Ron's reactions to the numerous jump scares throughout the ride. He especially enjoyed Ron's desperate attempts to figure out where their "hitch-hiking" ghost was coming from, since it could only be seen in the mirrors as they passed in front of them.
After leaving their ride vehicle, Harry found that Hermione was enjoying the experience just as much as he was, followed closely behind by a wide-eyed Neville and Draco.
"But if not with magic, how do Muggles make all of that happen? Floating instruments, ghostly people that aren't really ghosts, moving statues," Draco was muttering.
"Maybe Muggles aren't as simple minded as you thought, son-of-a-Death-Eater," Harry spat.
Always trying to keep the peace, Hermione interrupted. "Did you notice anything else in the ride that confirms your bride theory, Harry?"
"The ghost host kept talking about 999 happy haunts, and there were clues for about 999 different people, so it was hard to decipher anything. I asked the guy as we were leaving our car though."
"And what did he say?" Neville asked, as the group followed the moving walkway out of the mansion and back into the bright light of day.
"Let's Learn!" Harry exclaimed jokingly, as the other six listened in. "Master Gracey is the owner of the mansion. He was engaged to marry the love of his life. But Madame Leota was in love with him too." He smirked. "Who, ironically, is a witch. Madame Leota wanted to have Gracey as her husband, so she murdered his bride, but he was so stricken by the death that he hanged himself. That was the body in the pre-show."
"And again, this is a ride for children?" Malfoy asked.
"Mate, the Tales of Beedle the Bard aren't exactly butterflies and rainbows either. I mean, The Warlock's Hairy Heart? You call that child friendly?" Blaise pointed out.
"I assumed Muggles were too simple-minded to have such dark storytelling."
"I think it works, because at surface level, it's just a silly story, with a catchy song about a mansion filled with ghosts. The darker side of it doesn't emerge until you're older and start asking questions," Hermione answered.
"A lot like my experience with magic," Harry explained. "It still amazes me every day. But it also just means a new world of cruelty. I thought my parents were killed in a car crash. When, in reality, they were murdered by a curse."
"I think there's a lot of incredible things about Muggle life the average witch and wizard just doesn't try to understand," Hermione suggested. "You all were terrified of a ride designed for children. All because you didn't understand how things were happening, if not by magic."
Ron took offense to this. "Harry didn't know how it was happening either!"
"Neither do I," Hermione admitted. "I know Disney relies heavily on animatronics, robots with simple, repetitive movements. A lot of the characters were probably animatronics. Beyond that, I don't know how the special effects work because I'm not an engineer. But Muggles make it work. Without magic."
They were all suddenly met with a buzzing in their pockets. Harry was the first to pull his token out. On the surface of the token was a Mickey Mouse shaped head illuminated with the words, "Let's learn!"
"It's already time to check in?" Ron groaned.
"Maybe if you didn't have so many questions, we could move around the park quicker," Hermione pointed out as they began the short walk back to Cinderella Castle.
"It's nice to have the upper hand for once," Harry said to no one in particular. "Usually, I'm the confused one with all the questions."
Malfoy spoke up behind him. "Perhaps I haven't been fair in my assessment of Muggles and Muggle-borns. But you should know, Potter, I have as much choice in this coming war as you do. And I just think you should know that."
Harry considered this, for a moment. But he was just too happy being in Disney to care too much about the war they'd temporarily left behind in Europe.
He whispered to himself, "But the puns on that ride were glorious!"